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1
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♪ come and knock on our door ♪
2
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:14,925
♪ come and knock on our door ♪
3
00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:16,426
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
4
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,928
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
5
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:20,964
♪ where the kisses are
Hers and hers and his ♪
6
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:23,533
♪ three's company too ♪
7
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,134
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
8
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:27,003
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
9
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,973
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
10
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:33,276
♪ we've a lovable space
That needs your face ♪
11
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:36,601
♪ three's company too ♪
12
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,155
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
13
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,911
♪ three is company too ♪
14
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,934
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
15
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,925
♪ three is company too. ♪
16
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,342
Hey, janet, is my
Shirt pressed yet?
17
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,777
Oh, sorry, jack, I haven't
Had a chance to get to it.
18
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,781
It'll probably get wrinkled
At the wrestling match anyway.
19
00:01:10,805 --> 00:01:14,184
What wrestling match? I thought
You and cheryl had a date here tonight.
20
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,675
That wrestling match.
21
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,612
Cowabunga!
22
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,694
Say, could you put
That on a hanger for me?
23
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,729
No wonder you got a
Chest cold last week.
24
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,765
Jack.
25
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,801
Whoo! You can see
Right through this thing!
26
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,272
- janet: it's open!
- hi, kids.
27
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,162
- janet: hi.
- oh, hi, mr.Furley.
28
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,269
Entertaining tonight?
29
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,685
No, see, mr. Furley, this
Isn't mine, it belongs to janet.
30
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:51,069
Oh... And she let's you wear it?
31
00:01:57,984 --> 00:01:59,996
What can we do
For you, mr. Furley?
32
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:03,266
Oh, they delivered this magazine
To my apartment by mistake.
33
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,702
- oh.
- some kind of free,
Introductory offer.
34
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,737
Oh, thanks.
35
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,773
Oh, no, listen to this.
36
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,108
"Psychic predicts
Undersea plant life
37
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,744
Is the cure for male
Potency problems."
38
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:19,749
Yeah, can you believe the things
They'll print to sell magazines?
39
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:24,387
I just can't get over how
Gullible some people are.
40
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:29,058
Can you imagine, seaweed, the
Answer to male potency problems?
41
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,094
- hi, everybody!
- hi.
42
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:35,053
Oh, mr. Furley, I brought those
Seaweed pills you asked for.
43
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,736
Seaweed pills? I didn't
Ask for any seaweed pills.
44
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,771
Sure you did, this morning...
45
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,806
I said hay fever
Pills! Hay fever pills!
46
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,610
I get strong hay fever. In fact I
Feel an attack coming on right now!
47
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:59,889
- what's the matter with him?
- I don't know, you go find out.
48
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,325
And you go after
Him too, janet. I think...
49
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,027
Oh, jack stop it. We know,
Cheryl is coming over.
50
00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:07,464
- we can take a hint.
- oh, okay, thank you.
51
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:10,166
Cindy, could you help me
Move this ironing board?
52
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,335
Oh, don't bother.
I can do it myself.
53
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,370
- would you just hold the iron?
- sure.
54
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,327
Thanks.
55
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,711
Jack, you were supposed
To hold it by the handle.
56
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:25,448
- yeah, I know, I forgot.
- well, I'll just get this.
57
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:28,084
Cindy, we got a little bit
Of a problem here. Cindy...
58
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,120
- I'm sorry.
- just lift it up.
59
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,359
Let me get it, let me get it.
60
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,462
Whoo-ow!
61
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:43,566
Get back! Back off, all right?
62
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,601
Okay, just...
63
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,038
- get it away from me.
- yeah, I'll get it...
64
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,339
I'll get this right
Into the kitchen.
65
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,175
It's alive, isn't it?
66
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:53,328
All right, you got it?
67
00:03:53,352 --> 00:03:55,466
I got the iron right
Here. Got it, thanks.
68
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,515
Anything left for me to do?
69
00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:02,006
No, cindy's done
It all, thank you.
70
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:07,490
Let's see. Got the candles,
The matches, table set...
71
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,025
Champagne... I forgot
The champagne.
72
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:11,027
Be careful, jack!
That's a swinging door.
73
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,763
Right, right. Cindy, I'm
Coming in the kitchen now
74
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,627
To get a bottle of champagne.
75
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,568
I got it!
76
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,525
I got it.
77
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,806
I'm never gonna be
Ready for cheryl tonight.
78
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,176
By the time she gets
Here, I'll be in the hospital!
79
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,211
Come on, jack, don't get upset.
80
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:30,247
Janet, I can't help it.
81
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:34,584
Last night, cheryl and
I composed a symphony.
82
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,568
And tonight...
We're gonna play it.
83
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:41,057
And I don't want anything
To spoil my evening.
84
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,092
That's her! That's her!
85
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,127
I don't know
What I'm gonna do...
86
00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:47,830
Cindy, let's go. Jack, will you
Please just think positively?
87
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,433
Nothing is going to spoil
Your evening with cheryl.
88
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,469
Right, right.
89
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,438
Think positive, nothing is going
To spoil my evening with cheryl.
90
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,795
Nothing is going to spoil
My evening with cheryl.
91
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,445
Jack tripper? I'm andrew
Gainer, cheryl's father.
92
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,114
Something just
Spoiled my evening.
93
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,150
May I come in?
94
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,285
No... I mean, yes...
I mean, please...
95
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,320
There's no way I would not
Invite you in... Yes, please.
96
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,757
Thank you. Cheryl said
She was coming over here.
97
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,192
Only to pick me up and then
We're going right out in the open.
98
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:19,763
- that's why I'm here, cheryl...
- is a very special girl.
99
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,365
Not like all the others,
Not that I know any others...
100
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:26,402
Since I met cheryl, I'm a one-woman
Kinda guy. No other woman exists.
101
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:29,494
I don't know, but I
Can't find my pantyhose!
102
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,009
Except my sister.
103
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:36,368
Hi! See ya later, jack.
104
00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,750
My... My cousin.
105
00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:45,421
Mr. Gainer, I don't want to
Give you the wrong impression.
106
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:48,924
This is a respectable apartment. Nothing
Goes on around here at all, nothing.
107
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,960
Jack! Jack!
108
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,995
I've done it! I've done it!
109
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,964
The ramsey twins
Are coming over!
110
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,434
Uh, I'm not interested.
111
00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,603
But, you should be.
Don't you you see?
112
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:02,806
You can take your choice.
It won't make any difference.
113
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:03,830
Larry!
114
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,178
I told you, I'm not interested.
115
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:11,614
Oh... Oh... Oh! Sure!
Well, who can blame ya?
116
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:15,358
You gotta be worn out from
That lady you were with last night.
117
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:19,303
Whoa! Talk about
Your hickey bait!
118
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,825
- larry, this is mr. Gainer.
- who?
119
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,461
- cheryl's father.
- cheryl?
120
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,584
The "Hickey bait."
121
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,767
Wait a second, I'm in
The wrong apartment.
122
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,802
This isn't 201.
123
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,971
Where am I?
124
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,973
Who are you?
125
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:40,443
Give up, all right?
Sir, I have a confession.
126
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:43,245
Those two girls are
Really my roommates, and...
127
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,748
Jack, the only
Reason I stopped by
128
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,985
Was to drop off cheryl's
Driver's license. She forgot it.
129
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,187
Then, you're not interested
In my living arrangement?
130
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,089
I didn't say that.
131
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,359
I'll just let you two get to
Know each other a little better.
132
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:58,627
I just dropped by to
Borrow some wine, excuse me.
133
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:01,463
Nice hearing from
Your mouth, larry.
134
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,500
Sit down, jack.
135
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,501
- look, mr. Gainer, I just...
- jack.
136
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:08,726
- excuse me.
- I...
137
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:14,699
Jack.
138
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:20,249
You probably think sharing an
Apartment with two girls is healthy.
139
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,486
You know, contemporary,
Without any hang-ups.
140
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,488
- well, uh...
- I agree with you.
141
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,557
You do?
142
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,459
You see, jack, since my
Wife died some years ago,
143
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:33,696
I've spent a lot of time with
Cheryl and her friends and...
144
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,632
I've come to understand and...
145
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,634
Envy the openness
Of your generation.
146
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:40,803
- well, thank you.
- as a matter of fact...
147
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:43,205
- if I were 20 years younger...
- now, hang on a second.
148
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,255
You make it sound like
You're over the hill.
149
00:07:45,279 --> 00:07:47,143
You look great. How
Old are you? 50? 55?
150
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,000
46.
151
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,617
You don't look a day over 42.
152
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:58,288
I'm sure there are girls out
There that'd be crazy about you.
153
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:01,791
That's nice of you to say so, but,
I'm afraid time has passed me by.
154
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,194
I wouldn't fit and I
Wouldn't know what to say.
155
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:06,963
- it's simple, all you
Need is a few tips.
- tips? From who?
156
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:11,300
Well, naturally, from somebody
Who's been around, you know?
157
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,836
Somebody who knows about women.
158
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,871
Thanks for the build-up, jack.
159
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,907
Excuse me.
160
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,942
I believe this is my area.
161
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,912
Mr. Gainer, all you've got
To do is remember one thing.
162
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,947
When it comes to
Today's liberated woman,
163
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,982
Don't play games.
164
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:29,619
It's insulting to
Their intelligence.
165
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,788
Directness is the
Only way to go.
166
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,290
You mean like telling them
Exactly what your feelings are?
167
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:37,193
No, like spilling
Wine on her dress.
168
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:41,085
It's not easy getting an intelligent
Woman out of her clothes.
169
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,636
What does o-u-t spell?
170
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,037
- that's out.
- that's you.
171
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,405
- I was just leaving.
- good bye.
172
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,929
A genius is never
Appreciated in his own time.
173
00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:56,179
Please, don't pay any
Attention to him, mr. Gainer.
174
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,348
You don't have to
Rely on cheap shots.
175
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:01,650
Today's woman is frank,
She's free, she's open.
176
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,686
Yes, but how do you handle that?
177
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:07,556
First of all, at the beginning,
Don't come on strong.
178
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,715
You want to relax,
Let your hair down...
179
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,662
Let me put that another way.
180
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,269
You want to be laid back.
181
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,305
Laid back?
182
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,769
Well, you know,
Sorta like... Hey.
183
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:31,202
Oh, you mean like... Hey.
184
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,650
Maybe you just better
Take off your tie.
185
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,385
That might be as loose
As you want to go.
186
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,121
I see, okay, then what?
187
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:41,790
Well, talk to her,
Ask her about her job.
188
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:43,860
Today's woman is
Very intelligent.
189
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:47,329
Wait, shouldn't I compliment her on
Her appearance? I mean, we used to.
190
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,032
Mmm...
191
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,467
You can if you want, it's
A little old-fashioned.
192
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:54,370
What the hell, yeah. Tell her
You like her hair, you like her eyes.
193
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,539
I understand, I ask
Her about her job,
194
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,574
Then I'd compliment
Her on her appearance,
195
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,444
- anything else?
- invite her to dinner.
196
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:04,213
Oh, right! Take her out to
The finest restaurant in town.
197
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:08,251
Wrong. Take her to a dark,
Intimate little hideaway,
198
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:11,721
- like the blue grotto.
- the blue grotto?
199
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,889
Yeah, after being
In a place like that,
200
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:16,225
She'll be in the right
Mood for what comes next.
201
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,182
What... What comes next?
202
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,264
You're kidding.
203
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:24,800
One other thing, even
Though her lips may say "Stop,"
204
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:27,136
Her eyes will say "Go."
205
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:31,941
Okay, jack, I'm gonna... Oh.
206
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,243
Janet, I'd like you to meet
Mr. Gainer, cheryl's father.
207
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:37,412
- oh, how do you do?
- how do you do?
208
00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:39,303
How do you like your job?
209
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,053
My job? Jack must
Have told you that I...
210
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,578
Ah, you have the loveliest eyes.
211
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,692
Thank you.
212
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:52,036
It's a little warm
In here, isn't it.
213
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:58,834
You know, the way you
Do your hair, I just love it.
214
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,636
Oh, well, thank you.
215
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,772
Hang on, hang on. There's one...
216
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:07,010
- mr. Gainer, would you like
To have a glass of wine?
- andrew, and I would love it.
217
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:10,847
Sorry, we have no wine, all we've got is
This bottle of tijuana champagne here.
218
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:13,682
- why don't we go out
For that drink?
- I would like that.
219
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,351
I'd rather stay here.
220
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,842
Good, we'd rather
You stayed here too.
221
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,391
- I'll just go
And get my purse.
- okay.
222
00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:25,728
Mr. Gainer, could I speak
To you for just one second?
223
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,763
Sure.
224
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,998
I had no idea you were
Gonna ask janet out.
225
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,367
Neither did I.
226
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,970
But with your help, everything
Seems to be going so great.
227
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:36,839
- thanks.
- wait... Wait, I didn't mean...
228
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,808
Don't worry, I can handle
It myself from here on out.
229
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,877
- janet, are you ready?
- yes.
230
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,913
Have a wonderful evening, jack.
231
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:47,216
- where are we gonna go?
- I know just the spot for us.
232
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,174
Ever heard of a place
Called the blue grotto?
233
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,502
Hi, jack. I didn't know
Janet's father was in town.
234
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:09,939
That wasn't her father,
That was her date!
235
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,974
Her date?!
236
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:15,778
- but he... He's my age.
- and what's more,
He's on the make!
237
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:17,814
What?
238
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,648
I can't believe it!
239
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:23,886
A middle-aged man like that,
Running around town, chasing girls.
240
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,489
Trying to make out and...
241
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:30,426
- hey, what's wrong with that?
- mr. Furley!
242
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,429
What are we supposed to do? Sit in
A rocking chair and take up knitting?
243
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,606
No, no, mr. Furley...
244
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,933
Just because we're a
Tad past the age of 21
245
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,723
Doesn't mean we've lost
That old urge to merge!
246
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,073
Mr. Furley, what about janet?
247
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,541
Oh, you think I could
Get lucky with her?
248
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,676
Yeah, maybe a little candle
Light, wine and soft music...
249
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:51,480
Mr. Furley! We're talking
About our janet and that old man!
250
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,249
Yeah, you better do
Something about him!
251
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,452
- like what?
- tell that over-the-hill
Don juan to buzz off!
252
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,488
- be a man!
- oh, I can't.
253
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:01,032
Oh, that's right, I
Keep forgetting.
254
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,560
You can still tell
Him to buzz off.
255
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:07,497
I can't, janet would kill me.
256
00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:11,200
- cheryl!
- jack, did I just see
My father leave with janet?
257
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,368
Yes! And he should
Be ashamed of himself!
258
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,493
He's old enough
To be your father!
259
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,133
My father and janet?!
260
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:25,214
On a date?
261
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:27,249
That's wonderful.
262
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:30,052
I knew you'd feel the
Same was as... What?!
263
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:33,022
Well, it's the first time
Dad's been out in years.
264
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,057
That's why we can't
Leave them alone!
265
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:38,160
What are you talking about?
266
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:41,430
When you've gone without
Water for a long time,
267
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,787
You can get awfully thirsty.
268
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:48,171
Oh, jack, I had no idea
Janet was that desperate!
269
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:51,407
Are you kidding... Not
Janet, your father!
270
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:54,076
Oh, the poor man's
Been so lonely,
271
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,245
He's probably forgotten
What to do with a woman.
272
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:59,137
Not anymore, I
Just reminded him.
273
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,219
We're talking about
Two consenting adults.
274
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:05,388
No, we're not. I never
Consented to anything.
275
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,423
Not you.
276
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,458
Now, stop thinking about them.
277
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,493
And start thinking about us.
278
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,529
I'd better go after janet.
279
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,486
No, you won't. We're
Not leaving here.
280
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,368
Wait a minute, I
Just... Look at this!
281
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,903
She forgot to take
Her allergy pills!
282
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:24,606
- jack, is this a trick?
- does this look like a trick?
283
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:26,641
- 99% organic seaweed?
- right.
284
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,577
What's she allergic
To, the ocean?
285
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:32,315
Yeah, that's right, I gotta get these
To her before high tide, come on.
286
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:47,263
My, it's dark in here.
287
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:51,233
Yeah, you're right. I can't even
See my hand in front of my face.
288
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,269
That's not where you hand is.
289
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,693
Oh, I'm sorry.
290
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,173
- yes?
- oh, hi.
291
00:14:58,197 --> 00:14:59,608
Can I help you?
292
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,010
I'm looking for a couple, an
Older man with a young woman.
293
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:05,469
That's all we got
Here, take your pick.
294
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,286
Let's try over here.
295
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,592
- jack, is that you?
- janet, hi.
296
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,262
- what are you two doing here?
- don't worry, daddy,
We're not staying.
297
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,297
Oh, what a disappointment.
298
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:24,300
Well, since you're
Disappointed, we'll stay.
299
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,468
- jack!
- cheryl, you sit
Next to your father.
300
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:29,171
And I'll sit next to my good
Friend, jan... Isn't this cozy?
301
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,740
Jack, aren't you
Forgetting why we're here?
302
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,776
Just why are you here?
303
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,501
Jack was concerned 'cause janet went
Out on a date without taking her pill.
304
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,055
My what?
305
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,090
Your seaweed pills.
306
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:51,060
She's always forgetting,
We have to remind her,
307
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:54,296
But, still she gets by with a
Little kelp from her friends.
308
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,633
It's... Kelp, seaweed,
Song, sailors...
309
00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:02,505
Speaking of weeds, jack, couldn't you
Disappear and spring up someplace else?
310
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:08,344
Perhaps we should go somewhere
Else and get a bite to eat.
311
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:11,013
- I'd love that...
- not you, jack, just janet and me.
312
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:14,349
Hey, that's fair. Why don't we
Have just one little farewell drink?
313
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,785
- jack!
- it'll be real quick... Waiter!
314
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,854
- it'll happen real quick.
- yes? Yes?
315
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,723
What kind of wines do you have?
316
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,025
- well, we've got...
- we'll each have a glass of white wine.
317
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:25,061
Four white wines.
318
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:27,263
Waiter, with a little club soda.
319
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,930
Four white wine spritzers.
320
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:32,267
Yeah, waiter, I'm sorry,
You busy? One moment.
321
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:34,502
A splash of
Grenadine in each one.
322
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:36,938
- grenadine?
- yeah, and throw in
An ounce of rum.
323
00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:40,342
That's my own drink, I call
It "The tripper spritzer."
324
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,833
I'd hate to tell
You what I call it.
325
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,869
I'm with you, buddy.
326
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:49,084
Would you excuse
Us for just a moment?
327
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:51,253
- jack, may I speak to you?
- uh, yeah.
328
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:54,256
- all right, what are
You trying to pull?
- I'm trying to warn you...
329
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,425
Ah-ah-ah! Don't you dare
Say another word, jack.
330
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,762
Andrew is one of the most
Considerate men I've ever been out with.
331
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:02,364
Janet, I'm shocked at
How easily you're fooled.
332
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,100
The man is only after one thing!
333
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,935
Ah! Look at the pot
Calling the kettle black.
334
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,660
It's not your kettle he's after.
335
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,542
And just how do you know?
336
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:16,912
Listen, any guy who would
Ask you about your job,
337
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:20,148
Compliment your hair and
Take off his tie on the first date
338
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:21,617
Is only after one thing.
339
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,118
- what?!
- that's right!
340
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:25,253
Now, I'll make an excuse and
Meet you at the door, move.
341
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,122
Jack! Now listen to me.
342
00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:29,625
- janet, I can't breathe.
- that is the idea.
343
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:33,595
Jack, what happens when I go on
A date is up to me, not you, right?
344
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,031
- mm-hmm.
- and you are never gonna
Interfere again, right?
345
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,066
- no, I'm not.
- you absolutely promise?
346
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,602
- soul promise.
- okay, you can breathe now.
347
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,470
I paid the check, why
Don't we get out of here?
348
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,105
- good idea.
- jack!
349
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,906
You are not thinking
Of following us, are you?
350
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:47,910
- no, no, no.
- good. You just
Saved your life.
351
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,400
Thank you.
352
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,553
Well, I guess janet can
Take care of herself.
353
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,589
I... I was worried about her.
354
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,624
I know.
355
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:05,227
But now, it's just you and me.
356
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:08,531
Yeah, and you know
What we're gonna do?
357
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:10,131
What?
358
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:14,102
Nothing.
359
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,059
Good bye.
360
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,634
None for me, thanks.
361
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,886
Well, here we are.
362
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:34,156
- yes, we certainly are.
- aren't you coming in?
363
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:36,892
Well, if you really want me to.
364
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,928
Well, why wouldn't I? I'm
Having a lovely evening.
365
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,362
- you are?
- yes.
366
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:44,032
Oh, then, don't we... We, um...
367
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,990
Why don't we what?
368
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:50,906
We... Say good night.
369
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,742
Andrew, no! Come on.
370
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:55,777
Come and sit down for a while.
371
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,213
What do you mean,
"Go," it's very early yet.
372
00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:00,249
- sit.
- well, thank you.
373
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,284
Now, tell me what's wrong.
374
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,887
- well, I...
- I know, you're nervous, aren't you?
375
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,956
Is it that obvious?
376
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,125
Why shouldn't you be? You haven't
Had a date in a very long time.
377
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,031
So, why don't just
Relax and do whatever
378
00:19:12,055 --> 00:19:14,151
Comes naturally and
Everything will be fine.
379
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,601
- you really mean that?
- yes, of course I do.
380
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:21,237
Well, I'm so glad
You feel that way.
381
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,239
Makes it a lot easier.
382
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,274
Andrew!
383
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:29,433
- stop it!
- your lips my say "Stop,"
But your eyes say "Go."
384
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,148
No, they don't! No, they don't!
385
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,183
- yes...
- no! Andrew!
386
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:37,919
- hi!
- oh, you're not finished
With your date yet.
387
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:41,790
- I'll come back.
- no! No! Don't go.
388
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,747
That's right, cindy.
389
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,545
I'm the one who's going.
390
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,332
Do you realize, I'm
A middle-aged man,
391
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,836
Vice-president of a bank
With a grown daughter
392
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,105
And here I am acting
Like a complete nerf.
393
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:58,473
- that's nerd.
- thank you.
394
00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:00,508
Wait.
395
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,145
Why did you do that?
Why did you suddenly...
396
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:07,449
Well, because these days, I thought
That's what I was supposed to do on a date.
397
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,484
I was wrong.
398
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:10,986
I'm sorry I ruined your evening.
399
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,922
No, you didn't ruin my...
400
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,959
Look, you can't go yet, there's
Still some champagne left
401
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:20,596
And we can't let it go to waste.
Everybody, sit down and let's have a drink.
402
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,164
- are you sure you want me to?
- yes, I am absolutely sure.
403
00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:26,501
- thank you.
- I hope you don't mind,
It looks a little bit flat.
404
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:29,537
- here, cindy,
That's for andrew.
- great.
405
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,306
- be careful, cindy.
- what?
406
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,642
- ah!
- oh, I'm sorry!
407
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,710
How can I make it up to you?
408
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,169
- take your pants off.
- janet!
409
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:44,286
We have to get the
Stain out before it sets.
410
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,321
- oh.
- oh.
411
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,823
Andrew, you can change in
My bedroom, it's right here.
412
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:50,459
- all right. Yeah.
- there you go.
413
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:54,295
- I'm sorry.
- oh, it got all
Over the couch too!
414
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:57,799
Well, go in the kitchen and get the
Dish pan and put some cold water in it.
415
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,601
- and see if we have
A clean sponge.
- okay.
416
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:01,202
- janet?
- yes?
417
00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:02,971
- here they are.
- oh, thank you.
418
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:05,440
- this isn't exactly
The way I had it planned.
- I know.
419
00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:07,147
You can wear one of
Jack's robes. There's a
420
00:21:07,171 --> 00:21:08,877
Clean one in that
Laundry basket on my bed.
421
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:10,541
- oh, thank you.
- uh-huh.
422
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:25,016
Janet!
423
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,530
Come on, janet, open
Up. I want to apol...
424
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:30,487
Well, hello again.
425
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:36,871
You didn't...
426
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:38,829
- well, you see jack...
- you did!
427
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:44,968
Oh, my god! And you couldn't
Even wait to take off your shoes!
428
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,753
Jack, you don't
Understand. You see, janet...
429
00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:54,456
Is probably in there crying
Her eyes out right now.
430
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,858
What have I done!
431
00:21:56,882 --> 00:22:00,862
Look, I don't blame you. And I
Don't blame janet, I blame myself.
432
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,898
What have I done?
433
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:08,003
If only I hadn't told you how easy
It was to score with women today.
434
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:13,541
How gullible they are, how easily
They're fooled by the simplest come-ons.
435
00:22:13,565 --> 00:22:15,565
Poor, little, hopeless,
Empty-headed janet.
436
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,905
Janet.
437
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,055
Don't stop, jack, I'm learning
A lot from what you're saying.
438
00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:28,412
No, see, I was
Just... I... I... I...
439
00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:33,295
Cindy is getting the champagne
Stain out of your pants.
440
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:35,330
- oh, thank you.
- cham... Champagne.
441
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:39,468
Oh, well, that's why... I
Knew... I thought... I figured...
442
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:42,171
- now, let me see
If I got this straight.
- ow!
443
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:44,039
Women are very gullible.
444
00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:44,828
Well, no, see...
445
00:22:44,852 --> 00:22:47,042
And we can be fooled by
The easiest of come-ons.
446
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:49,178
- you're taking it out of context...
- it's very easy to score...
447
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:52,281
- with us empty-headed women.
- well, no, no, I...
448
00:22:52,305 --> 00:22:54,083
Okay, buster, let me
Tell you something, jack.
449
00:22:54,107 --> 00:22:56,618
I think I gotta go help cindy
And she's in the kitchen with the...
450
00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:59,888
Whoa!
451
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,924
A little sudsy water, there.
452
00:23:01,948 --> 00:23:03,881
- she missed me.
- oh, too bad.
453
00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:25,147
- hello?
- jack! The most wonderful
Thing happened yesterday.
454
00:23:25,171 --> 00:23:28,917
- you're just gonna die
When you find out about it!
- that's great, what is it?
455
00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:33,822
- oh, I can't tell you.
- why... Why not?
456
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:37,859
Because I just told you all about
It in the letter I just sent you.
457
00:23:37,883 --> 00:23:40,729
- so?
- so, you'll be getting
It in a day or so.
458
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,997
If I tell ya now what
Happened to me yesterday,
459
00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,633
What's the point of
Waiting 'til tomorrow
460
00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:47,825
To find out what you
Already know today?
461
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:54,843
Hello! Jack, I think we
Have a bad connection.
462
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:57,912
You certainly do.
463
00:23:57,936 --> 00:24:00,482
Look, chrissy, if it's good
News, why do I have to wait?
464
00:24:00,506 --> 00:24:04,519
- you've got me on the phone.
- oh, you're right.
465
00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:06,354
You don't need
The letter, do you?
466
00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:11,292
If I hurry, I can catch my dad
Before he mails it. Bye, jack.
467
00:24:11,316 --> 00:24:14,395
Chrissy, hang on!
Chrissy, wait! Wait!
468
00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:16,353
Chris!
469
00:24:41,247 --> 00:24:44,692
John ritter: three's company was
Videotaped in front of a studio audience.
37313
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