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1
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♪ come and knock on our door ♪
2
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,192
♪ come and knock on our door ♪
3
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,693
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
4
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,195
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
5
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,031
♪ where the kisses are
Hers and hers and his ♪
6
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:24,201
♪ three's company too ♪
7
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,602
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
8
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,037
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
9
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,505
♪ take a step that is new ♪
10
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,007
♪ take a step that is new ♪
11
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:33,376
♪ we've a loveable space
That needs your face ♪
12
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,667
♪ three's company too ♪
13
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,555
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
14
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,513
♪ three is company too ♪
15
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,901
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
16
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,859
♪ three is company too. ♪
17
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,574
I got it.
18
00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:08,244
Oh, I'll get it. I've been
Listening to the radio.
19
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,246
A lot of stations
Are having contests.
20
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:13,016
You can win stuff just by
Answering the phone the right way.
21
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,952
Krbq plays all the hits!
22
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:18,955
Cindy, do you know what the odds
Are of them calling our number?
23
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:20,791
- janet, I won!
- you did?
24
00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:22,459
- yeah!
- what did you win?
25
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,094
What did I win?
26
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,864
A weekend in paradise with
The america's greatest lover.
27
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,433
Give me that.
28
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,537
Get off the phone, larry!
29
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:37,440
I'm sorry, cindy.
That was just larry
30
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:39,442
And he is no prize.
31
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,444
That larry sure
Has a quick mind.
32
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,547
Not as quick as his hands.
33
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:47,283
- janet: hi, jack.
- hi.
34
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,718
- cindy: hi, jack.
- hi.
35
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,821
How was your first day
At the sandwich shop?
36
00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:53,456
Oh, come on.
37
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,458
How tough can it be
Making sandwiches?
38
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:58,461
No, no. I just helped the new
Tenant up with her groceries.
39
00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:01,230
Three big bags up
Three flights of stairs.
40
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:04,601
Three bags of groceries?
She must be rich.
41
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,070
No, no. She's a
Sweet, little thing.
42
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,472
- older woman, you know.
- older, huh?
43
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,474
What are we talking, jack, 22?
44
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,476
No.
45
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,312
She must be almost 70. She
Barely beat me up the stairs.
46
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,450
- you lost one here.
- oh, thanks.
47
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,652
So how was everything
At the sandwich shop?
48
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:26,323
Oh, frantic. The guy I'm working
With kept going out for a smoke.
49
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,425
Why didn't you
Complain to the boss?
50
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,493
He is the boss.
51
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,228
Don't worry about
It. You'll get used to it.
52
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:34,865
By tomorrow night, you're going
To think everything's wonderful.
53
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:37,266
You're absolutely right
Because tomorrow night,
54
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:40,570
- katy williams is coming over
For a little din-din.
- oh?
55
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,838
Oh, I knew a katy
Williams in high school.
56
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:45,008
She was captain of
The debating team.
57
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,010
N-no, couldn't be the same one.
58
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:50,013
This katy never argues,
If you know what I mean.
59
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:53,282
I gotcha.
60
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:55,418
You sure did.
61
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,854
Just make sure that
Both of you are long gone
62
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,222
When cutie katy comes
A'calling tomorrow.
63
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:02,191
I'll get it.
64
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,127
Tell us how long you
Want to be alone with her,
65
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,595
And then we'll know where to go.
66
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:08,664
Have you ever been to hong kong?
67
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,935
- hello.
- oh, hello. Is jack tripper he...
68
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,038
- yes...
- oh, there you are.
69
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,540
Hello, mrs. Moore.
70
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:19,209
Oh, he was such a
Big help to me before.
71
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,377
Such a dear, sweet, darling boy.
72
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,879
Yes, well...
73
00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,881
- this is janet.
- both: hello.
74
00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:27,717
- this is cindy.
- how do you do?
75
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,653
- glad to meet you.
- is there anything
That we could do for you?
76
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:34,224
Oh, no. I just wanted to bring
Jack a little "Thank you" present.
77
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,827
Home-baked cookies, three kinds.
78
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:40,730
- oh, mrs. Moore, you didn't have to do...
- oh, call me gladys.
79
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,500
- gladys.
- "Mrs." makes me
Feel like an old lady.
80
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:46,236
Is that the kitchen?
81
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,359
Hello? Uh...
82
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,396
Yeah, hello?
83
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:56,912
Oh, don't let me
Interrupt your visit.
84
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,504
Oh, we're not
Visiting. We live here.
85
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:05,589
- all three of you?
- janet: yes.
86
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:09,047
No wonder you got pooped
Climbing those stairs.
87
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,295
Uh, uh...
88
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,830
No, uh, yeah, mrs.
Moore, excuse me,
89
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:17,567
Gladys, uh, we are
Just good friends.
90
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,670
Oh, well you call
It what you want.
91
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,938
No, come and sit down.
92
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,709
- yes.
- I don't understand.
93
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,711
I hope you're taking vitamins.
94
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:30,947
- no, I don't believe in...
- oh, well maybe you better have some milk.
95
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,282
- oh, well, that's fine.
- yes... And try
96
00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,785
One of my whole grain cookies.
97
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,621
A little wheat germ to
Go with your wild oats.
98
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,726
See, the living
Arrangement we have here
99
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,462
- is strictly platonic.
- oh.
100
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,964
- does she think that we...
- excuse me, ci...
101
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,066
- you broke my button.
- now that's all right.
102
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,068
- I can match that.
- she ripped my button.
103
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,636
- take off your shirt.
- no, it's all right.
104
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,638
No, it doesn't...
105
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,640
Oh, it's just one button.
106
00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:59,576
- you don't have to. It's an old shirt.
- oh, no.
107
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,680
- whoo-hoo! No, no!
- but I have a question.
108
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,147
Well, I have a washing
Press... You won't know it.
109
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,650
Now, which do you like?
On hangers or folded?
110
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,652
No, can I just
Have my shirt back?
111
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,153
Oh, you'll get quick delivery.
112
00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:13,155
- oh, good.
- sit down. Here, sit down.
113
00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:15,090
Now let me see...
114
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:17,160
- have your little milk...
- my little milk.
115
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,162
- and a cookie...
- a big cookie.
116
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,564
And I'll be right back.
117
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:24,166
♪ oh, yes sir, that's my baby ♪
118
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,857
♪ no sir... ♪
119
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,546
Okay, which one of you ordered
The little cucumber finger sandwich
120
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:39,003
- with the nutmeg tea?
- right here, mac!
121
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,523
- I guess this is yours.
- I guess so.
122
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:49,525
- there you go, thanks.
- thanks a lot.
123
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:52,027
I'm going out for a smoke.
You take care of things?
124
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,985
You can count on me, boss.
125
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,272
Mrs. Moore...
126
00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:04,274
Oh, gladys, hi. What
Are you doing here?
127
00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,709
Well, I just took a little walk
128
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:09,412
- and here I am.
- oh, good.
129
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:12,048
- did you get your shirt?
- yes, thank you.
130
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:14,751
I just took a chance
You'd like heavy starch.
131
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,252
Yeah.
132
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:20,723
So, that's why it broke
When I was putting it away.
133
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,959
Waiter, would you
Please take our order?
134
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:26,983
Yes, exc... I'm sorry,
We're very busy.
135
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,500
May I help you, ma'am?
136
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:34,270
Let's see, what did we get
The last time we were here?
137
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,927
Probably heartburn.
138
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,744
It's just... I was
Just making a, um...
139
00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:43,746
Whew, just nothing.
140
00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:46,048
Seriously, can I
Take your order?
141
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,151
We'll have the soup and
Sandwich combination.
142
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,109
Okay, thank you.
143
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:56,525
- gladys, what are you doing?
- oh, well, you need help.
144
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:59,095
- but-but-but...
- no, now you ladle out the soup
145
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,464
- and I'll make
The sandwiches.
- wait, gladys.
146
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,466
Oh, who carved this roast beef?
147
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,935
It's thin enough to see through.
148
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:09,706
- hey, come here.
- mind your manners!
149
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,775
There are other
People ahead of you.
150
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,777
- boss, boss...
- tripper, what did you do,
151
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,779
Get your mommy to help you?
152
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,613
She's not my mommy... My mother,
153
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,783
- she's a customer.
- a customer?
154
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,951
What do you think I'm
Running here, a smorgasbord?
155
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,455
- get rid of her!
- I was just about to, sir. I'm sorry.
156
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:28,158
Two combos, pick up!
157
00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:30,160
I've always wanted to do that.
158
00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:32,962
Gladys, I'm afraid
You'll have to leave.
159
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,131
Oh, well no, no. I
Can stay here all day.
160
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,967
No, I want you to get
Out of here right now.
161
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:41,971
Oh, well, uh... I
Can take a hint.
162
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,035
I... I was only trying to help.
163
00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,598
Well, look. I
Appreciate it, but it's...
164
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:51,547
Oh, don't look so sad.
165
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:55,818
Come on, before I go,
Give me a nice big smile.
166
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:58,802
Oh, no. A real big one.
167
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,324
That's it.
168
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:04,326
That's just the
Way my son looked
169
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:06,910
When he kicked me
Out of the house.
170
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:18,875
Katy's gonna love this.
171
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,344
Okay, come on, let's
Go! Out, out, out!
172
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,346
- katy's gonna be here
In any minute.
- nag, nag, nag.
173
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,614
I left my jigsaw puzzle on
The coffee table. Is that okay?
174
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,183
- fine, fine.
- but don't touch it.
175
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,852
- I want to put it together.
- aww!
176
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:33,422
Then what are katy and I
Going to do all evening for fun?
177
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,758
- oh, jack.
- it's all right,
I'll think of something.
178
00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,760
That's her.
179
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:40,629
- you two are just
On your way out.
- both: okay.
180
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,932
- hello.
- jack: gladys!
181
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,097
Sorry we can't stay.
We're just on our way out.
182
00:08:45,121 --> 00:08:46,402
You can stay! You can stay!
183
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:49,705
- have fun you two.
- no wait, wait, wait. You forgot, uh...
184
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,542
- terrific.
- oh.
185
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,712
Look, gladys, there's
Something I'd like to tell you.
186
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:59,682
Oh, apology accepted.
No hard feelings.
187
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,751
- I'd love to visit...
- well, good.
188
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,053
But I'm expecting a girlfriend.
189
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,455
Oh, don't worry about
Her. She won't bother us.
190
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,557
What do you mean?
191
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:10,559
Well, I met her downstairs...
192
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,561
Oh, jack, you should
Have seen her.
193
00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:14,864
I have! I have! Where is she?
194
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,233
A skirt slit up to here.
195
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,235
Blouse down to here.
196
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:22,205
- and chest out to...
- that's her! Where did she go?
197
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,207
Everything on display.
198
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,243
No romance, no mystery.
199
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,479
Jack, she's not
The girl for you.
200
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:32,081
Wh... What do you mean?
201
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,816
I sent her away.
202
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,386
Have mercy. You didn't,
You didn't, you didn't.
203
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,454
That girl could ruin your life!
204
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:42,658
That was the whole idea!
205
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,660
You are better off without her.
206
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,266
She's gone. I came so close.
207
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,268
Oh, jack.
208
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,937
I have just the
Perfect girl for you.
209
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,395
She's a librarian.
210
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:00,776
A little on the heavy side,
211
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,778
But lots of fun.
212
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,747
We'll talk about
Her over dinner.
213
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,415
Dinner?
214
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,285
- oh, yes,
Just the two of us.
- dinner?
215
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,287
Oh, this isn't cold enough.
216
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,389
I'll pour it in a pitcher
With some ice cubes.
217
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:17,627
Well, that's a burgundy. It
Doesn't... That's all right. I don't care.
218
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,962
A jigsaw puzzle,
I just love them.
219
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,598
Oh, aren't we going
To have fun tonight?
220
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,806
Oh, that's right.
221
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:33,764
You rest. I'll take
Care of everything.
222
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,058
Isn't jack supposed
To be home by now?
223
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,394
Yeah, cindy. I
Wish he'd hurry up.
224
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,329
I am absolutely starving.
225
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:56,299
- yeah, I'll start dinner.
- okay, thanks.
226
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,835
No! We don't have
That many dishes!
227
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,960
Ooh!
228
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,110
You almost gave
Me a heart attack!
229
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,712
Just relax! You
Scared me to death!
230
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,046
- jack?
- yes!
231
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:19,021
I got it! Humphrey
Bogart, right?
232
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:22,191
No, I'm trying to
Hide from gladys.
233
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,793
If she doesn't know I'm home,
Maybe she won't bother me.
234
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:26,862
You know what I'm talking about?
235
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,964
- aren't you over reacting
A little?
- yeah.
236
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,966
Gladys seems like an
Awfully sweet lady.
237
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:33,369
Oh sure, she's an awfully
Sweet lady all right.
238
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,204
After we ate dinner last night,
239
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,373
She washed all the dishes,
She cleaned the oven,
240
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,909
She even took home two
Pairs of my pants to mend.
241
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:43,868
She's driving me crazy! It's people
Like her that give mothers a bad name.
242
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:47,784
- jack, take it easy.
- she's ruining my love life.
243
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,386
- last night
Was just the beginning.
- oh, come on, jack.
244
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,888
- now, let's look on the bright
Side of things.
- yeah.
245
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:55,792
Really, you could have
Bombed out with katy williams.
246
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:59,796
The only guy that ever
Bombed out with katy williams
247
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,900
Was a guy who lost her address.
248
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,469
- say I'm not here.
- both: but jack!
249
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,003
I want you to go to the door,
250
00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:10,139
- open it and say,
"Jack's not here!"
- jack.
251
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,407
- hide me. Hide me!
- okay.
252
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,130
- ow!
- sorry.
253
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:17,080
Jack's not here!
254
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:20,516
Well, in that case, this
Could be our lucky day.
255
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,751
- no, I'm here.
- he's here. He's right here.
256
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:25,988
Hey, old buddy, lucky larry
Has a story about last night
257
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:29,591
That's going to put the
Pink back in your cheeks.
258
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:31,660
And it might bring
A blush to yours,
259
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:34,163
So if you two little girls
Will excuse us for a minute,
260
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,797
- guy talk here.
- cindy: no.
261
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,900
My whole life I've been
Sent out of the room.
262
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,157
- I want to listen.
- no, you don't.
263
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,941
- you mean it'll be that bad?
- that dull.
264
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:48,211
- larry is the lawrence welk
Of storytellers.
- oh.
265
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,947
Thank you, thank
You, lovely janet.
266
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,738
Thank you so much, the lovely
Janet, ladies and gentlemen.
267
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:57,787
Hey, hey, hey, you okay, pal?
268
00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,756
You look as shaky as that
'58 chevy I sold yesterday.
269
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,192
Never mind, larry. What
Happened last night?
270
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,993
It started out pretty tame.
271
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,929
I had arranged to
Spend the whole evening
272
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,631
With this month's
Centerfold girl.
273
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,566
What's tame about that?
274
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:14,136
Ah, there's just so much
You can do with a picture.
275
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,139
Anyway, I was coming
Back from the newsstand,
276
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:20,876
I saw this gorgeous, young thing
Standing in front of our apartment.
277
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,344
- last night?
- yeah, yeah, yeah.
278
00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:24,146
She got stood up or something.
279
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,882
Larry... I don't think
I want to hear this.
280
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:29,318
Just tell me she was a
Red head or brunette
281
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,653
- or she was very short.
- no, no.
282
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,655
Tall luscious blond.
283
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,859
- I knew I didn't
Want to hear this.
- wait, wait, wait!
284
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:39,862
It has a happy ending. Next thing
I know, we're in my apartment,
285
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:43,165
The whole evening is gone and I
Felt as if I'd known her all my life.
286
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:44,867
You talked a lot, huh?
287
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,637
- I don't even know
If she speaks english.
- perfect.
288
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:51,007
But wait a second,
Here's the lucky part.
289
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,009
Katy's got this
Mean, older brother...
290
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,810
- katy?
- yes, nice name
Isn't it?
291
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,179
I just dropped her off
When her crazy brother
292
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,014
Starts chasing after my car.
293
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:01,016
Yelling that he knows my name.
294
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,018
Screaming that he's going
To be coming after me.
295
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:05,955
Only it wouldn't be you he'd
Be coming after, it would be...
296
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:09,246
- the poor chump she had
A date with last night.
- good night.
297
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,362
Hey, hey, hey, hey, jacko...
298
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,531
You know, you're
Not looking so good.
299
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,801
You oughta start spending some
Quiet evenings at home for a change.
300
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,704
- I'll see you later, buddy.
- help.
301
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:25,041
Help... In serious
Trouble here. Help.
302
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,877
- jack?
- help.
303
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,545
- are you okay?
- what's wrong?
304
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,980
No, that sweet, little
Old lady has done it.
305
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:35,751
First she ruins my life, and
Now she's trying to end it.
306
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,087
Gladys: jack!
307
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,089
- that's her
That's her.
- janet: jack.
308
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,423
Okay, I know why she's here.
309
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,558
She wants to give me a
Haircut or something.
310
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,061
Say I'm sick,
Okay? Say I'm sick.
311
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:50,599
Jack? Oh, golly, I wish we
Could just tell her the truth.
312
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,235
- let me try.
- okay.
313
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:56,404
Hi, gladys. I'm sorry,
But jack's in his room.
314
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:58,841
He's been exposed to
Something he can't get rid of
315
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,575
And he's just about
Out of his head.
316
00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:03,946
- and that's the truth.
- oh my god,
317
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,948
- I'm just in time.
- oh, mrs. Moore!
318
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:09,151
- I just...
- please? Please?
319
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:10,986
- gladys: jack!
- janet: mrs. Moore...
320
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:14,089
Gladys: jack!
321
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:18,760
oh, the poor boy needs
Me. I'm going to go in.
322
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:20,762
Ja...
323
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:23,499
Oh, you poor thing.
324
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,268
Gladys is here now and
Everything's going to be all right.
325
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:29,104
You better leave me alone.
What I've got is awfully catchy.
326
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:32,274
Oh, I've had everything already.
327
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:33,775
Where's the thermometer?
328
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:36,612
Ah, you're not putting
Anything in my mouth.
329
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,156
Well, that's not how
I take a temperature.
330
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:47,456
I put it under the arm.
331
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,958
Well, sorry, I'm
All out of arms.
332
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:51,960
Oh, here.
333
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:54,630
No, no fever. I wonder
If you have a rash.
334
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,533
Well, you didn't
Even get undressed.
335
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,469
Well, that's in case I have to
Make a dash to the hospital.
336
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,971
Oh, don't talk like that.
337
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:04,973
Now, the first thing
We're going to do
338
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:07,809
Is get you in your
Nice, warm jammies.
339
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,978
Yes, now, take off your shirt,
340
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,481
- and I'll pull off your pants.
- no, wait, wait, wait.
341
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,483
Oh, now don't be embarrassed.
342
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:17,819
I've had a husband, a
Son. I've seen it all before.
343
00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:19,821
No, gladys, let go!
344
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,591
Would you leave me alone?!
345
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:25,260
Oh, well...
346
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:27,696
When we're sick, we're
Always a little irritable.
347
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,967
Gladys, every since you've come
Here, you've been driving me crazy.
348
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:32,968
Just stay away from me!
349
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,338
Well, that's just the
Way my son sounded
350
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:40,342
When I paid a surprise
Visit to him and his wife.
351
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:44,513
Only two days and
He just blew up at me.
352
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,404
He said I ruined
Their honeymoon.
353
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,388
Gladys, look, I...
354
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,856
Oh, well, no...
355
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,814
No, you don't have
To say anymore.
356
00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:00,718
I won't ever bother you again.
357
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,212
Jack?
358
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,047
Hey, come on.
359
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:22,217
You can't spend the rest of your
Life feeling guilty about gladys.
360
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:26,176
Yeah, people her age are
Used to being mistreated.
361
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:31,260
- you better let me
Do the cheering up.
- okay.
362
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,729
Jack, come on. You
Know what time it is?
363
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,965
- what?
- happy hour down
At the reagle beagle.
364
00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:38,868
Why don't we mosey on down there
And destroy all the hors d'oeuvres?
365
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,569
- I don't know...
- janet's treating!
366
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,072
I am? Yeah, I am! Come on.
367
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,975
- in that case, okay.
- okay, give us a second
To get gorgeous.
368
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:48,878
Give me two seconds.
369
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,835
I'll get it.
370
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,586
- hi.
- katy!
371
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,256
What are you doing... I
Mean, come in, come in.
372
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,626
I just went to see a friend
Upstairs, but he's not home.
373
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,627
Do you know larry?
374
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,629
Who, larry, sure.
375
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:10,765
Yeah, we bump into each
Other once in a long while.
376
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:12,601
Well, do you know
When he'll be back?
377
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,870
How, larry the world
Traveler? Could be weeks.
378
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,605
Weeks, months, months, weeks.
379
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,840
Come in, sit down and
Let's wait for him. Okay?
380
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:21,276
Do you really want me too?
381
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,944
Your mother told
Me what you said.
382
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:25,613
My m-mm-mot... What did she say?
383
00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:28,850
She said you didn't think we
Were right for each other.
384
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:31,620
No, no, no.
385
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:34,122
She must have thought you
Were one of the other girls.
386
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:35,957
- other girls?
- well, see,
387
00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:37,693
There's this crazy
Horde of females.
388
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,562
They're very pushy. They're
Following me all over the city.
389
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,831
Trying to get into my
Apartment. It's horrible.
390
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,666
Just to see you?
391
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:48,459
Yeah. I don't know why
They find me so attractive.
392
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:51,906
Well, let's sit down and
See if we can find out.
393
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:55,143
Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second.
394
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:58,502
- first I want
To show you something.
- ah-ha, I bet you do.
395
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:02,606
Come here.
396
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,822
- here it is!
- the kitchen?
397
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,523
Well, if you get hungry,
There's the stove
398
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:11,126
And if you get thirsty,
There's el sink-o.
399
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,128
Janet: jack, where are you?
400
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,398
That's more girls. They must have
Come through the bathroom window.
401
00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:20,335
You stay here and I'll go get rid
Of them, okay? Excuse me, I'll be back.
402
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,437
- janet: hey.
- have fun, good bye. Take care.
403
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,373
- what?
- go, go, go.
404
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,409
- you're coming
With us, aren't you?
- no, I just want to be alone!
405
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,344
But we got all fixed up for you.
406
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:32,248
What's a guy to do to get a
Little privacy around here?
407
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:35,284
- jack?
- I want to be alone. Don't you understand?
408
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,286
Okay, okay, we understand.
409
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,521
Come on, cindy.
410
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:42,023
Boy.
411
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:44,247
Good bye.
412
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:48,819
And don't think we don't know
About the girl in the kitchen.
413
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,038
Wow!
414
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,541
Groupies.
415
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,609
And you're not even a rock star.
416
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,611
It's just my curse.
417
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:07,983
I don't know.
What is it about me?
418
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,219
I don't know, but now
I've got to find out.
419
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,688
Be gentle.
420
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,390
Oh, hi. Excuse me, lady,
421
00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,058
I'm looking for jack tripper.
422
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:19,394
Top of the stairs,
Apartment 201.
423
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:21,396
- thanks a lot, lady.
- yeah.
424
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,235
Excuse me, who was
That guy looking for?
425
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:28,237
- jack tripper.
- oh, no.
426
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,239
Why are you so upset?
427
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:33,242
- I don't want anything
To happen to my best friend.
- oh.
428
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,711
He owes my 50 bucks.
429
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,571
- what's that?
- just the beat, beat,
Beat of my heart.
430
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,257
- take your hands
Off of my sister!
- kenny?
431
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:52,227
Stay out of this! Okay, tripper.
432
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,263
I'm going to teach you not to fool
Around with an innocent, young girl.
433
00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:59,301
Kenny, I'm 25 and
I'm not innocent.
434
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:01,205
Oh, hey, she's right about that.
435
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:05,274
- what?
- about being 25.
436
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:08,109
Listen, you. Now I
Missed you last night.
437
00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:09,182
But I got you now.
438
00:21:09,206 --> 00:21:11,780
Wait a minute, man. I
Wasn't with your sister!
439
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,950
- well, I don't believe you.
- well, then believe me!
440
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,786
- who are you?
- well, who are you,
441
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,721
And what are you
Doing in our apartment?
442
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:21,156
Kenny: this is your apartment?
443
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,291
Yes, I live here with my son.
444
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:25,961
I can't leave him
Alone for a minute
445
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:28,964
Without some girl bothering him.
446
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,687
Thanks, mom.
447
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:35,270
Okay, sis. Now who's
Been bothering who?
448
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,940
I came to see the guy I
Had a date with last night,
449
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,908
- but he wasn't home.
- uh-huh.
450
00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:42,745
You see, my jackie is
Perfectly innocent.
451
00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:44,713
Okay, I'm sorry. I
Guess it's my mistake.
452
00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:49,673
Yes, he was just sitting here
Studying for his bible class.
453
00:21:53,679 --> 00:21:56,759
- mom, we're clear. Let's not over do it.
- okay.
454
00:21:56,783 --> 00:21:58,761
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
455
00:21:58,785 --> 00:22:01,263
I guess I got all
Her guys mixed up.
456
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:02,898
Come on, sis.
457
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:05,002
We got to find you
A different hobby.
458
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:18,402
- gladys, I guess
You saved my neck.
- I guess I did.
459
00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:22,906
I want to apologize.
460
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:26,855
Well, who's stopping you?
461
00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:32,227
- sorry I can't stay. I brought you this.
- larry! He left.
462
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:34,863
- left?
- right.
463
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,865
Well, it's a good thing for him.
464
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:39,367
I would have knocked
The guy into left field.
465
00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:41,369
Excuse me, the game is over.
466
00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:43,205
Yeah, well, in that
Case, I better go.
467
00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:46,108
Can you believe running up
Here just now, I ripped my pants?
468
00:22:46,132 --> 00:22:49,566
You poor dear!
469
00:23:02,247 --> 00:23:03,992
Hello?
470
00:23:04,016 --> 00:23:06,828
Operator: I have a collect call
For anyone from chrissy snow.
471
00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:09,397
- will you
Accept the charges?
- yes, operator, sure.
472
00:23:09,421 --> 00:23:11,800
- go ahead.
- hello, chrissy. How's your mom?
473
00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:14,770
Hi, she's fine, but janet, you
Weren't supposed to accept the call.
474
00:23:14,794 --> 00:23:16,971
- I wasn't?
- no.
475
00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:19,574
That's why I called
Collect. It's a signal.
476
00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:23,011
See, I call you collect and if somebody
Answers, then I know you're home,
477
00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:27,082
Then I call right back
Station to station, it's cheaper.
478
00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:30,252
Yeah, but if you called station
To station in the first place,
479
00:23:30,276 --> 00:23:32,921
And there wasn't any answer,
You'd know nobody was home, right?
480
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:35,145
Yeah, but then I'd
Have nobody to talk to.
481
00:23:39,619 --> 00:23:41,597
Okay, chrissy.
482
00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:43,432
You called collect, I
Accepted the charges.
483
00:23:43,456 --> 00:23:45,434
Here we are on the
Phone, let's talk.
484
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:48,770
about what?
485
00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:51,406
I don't know. You're
The one who called me.
486
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,775
Oh, yeah.
487
00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:55,944
- is jack home?
- oh, no.
488
00:23:55,968 --> 00:23:58,447
- oh, will you give him
A message for me?
- sure.
489
00:23:58,471 --> 00:24:01,631
Will you tell him the next time I
Call, I want him to answer, okay?
490
00:24:04,810 --> 00:24:07,389
Chrissy, how will
He know it's you?
491
00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:10,058
Listen, if he doesn't
Recognize me by now,
492
00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:12,215
Then I don't want
To talk to him at all.
493
00:24:41,347 --> 00:24:44,793
John ritter: three's company was
Videotaped in front of a studio audience.
38285
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