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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,523 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,025 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,593 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,061 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:21,164 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,134 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,935 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,804 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,939 - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:33,143 ♪ we've a lovable space That needs your face ♪ 11 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,900 ♪ three's company too ♪ 12 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,622 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 13 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,047 ♪ three's company too ♪ 14 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,834 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:00,225 ♪ three's company too. ♪ 16 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,281 - hi, janet. - hi, jack. 17 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,838 - how's my favorite person? - oh, fine, thanks. 18 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,423 - janet? - what? 19 00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,425 Don't move. 20 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:22,759 What? 21 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,828 The way the light Is hitting your face... 22 00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:29,599 I have never seen You look so beautiful. 23 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,202 You are a botticelli painting. 24 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,371 You are a sculpture By michelangelo. 25 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:37,407 - no. - what do you mean "No"? 26 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,243 I mean, no. No, jack. 27 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,213 It is your turn. I will not Clean the apartment for you. 28 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,149 Okay, janet, okay. Where's chrissy? 29 00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,918 She's in taking a shower, but She said to tell you no too. 30 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,754 I'd like to hear that from Her, thank you very kindly. 31 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,712 You're welcome. 32 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,948 Chrissy? 33 00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,518 No. 34 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,169 Whatever happened to The milk of human kindness? 35 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:09,239 All I'm getting around Here is sour cream. 36 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:12,242 Look jack, every time you Have to cook for a hot date, 37 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,144 Chrissy and I get The same routine. 38 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:17,280 Please, girls, just this once, won't You clean the apartment for me? 39 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,649 - well, not this time. - oh no? 40 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:23,420 No, I want you to clean the Apartment and stay away from it, please. 41 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,489 - what? - forget it, jack. 42 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,924 Please, girls, this One's real special. 43 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,526 Sure, they all are. 44 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,862 Oh yeah? Would I buy six lbs. Of prime rib for just anyone? 45 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,320 It sounds like your Date is a st. Bernard. 46 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:40,270 - boy, this must be love. - I know. 47 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,639 Hey, jack, who is This girl anyway? 48 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,708 - her name happens to be Bobbie trilling. - yeah? 49 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,845 And she entered a beauty Contest and won first prize... 50 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,636 "Miss beach volleyball." 51 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,684 That's not much of a prize. 52 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,155 I'd rather win "Mr. Beach volleyball." 53 00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:02,526 I don't need your very bad Jokes. I need your help, please. 54 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,529 I guess we could go to A movie until 10:00, janet. 55 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:09,533 Oh, thanks. Janet, please. 56 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,502 All right, till 10:00, Jack, but 10:00, okay? 57 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,904 After that, whatever You're doing with that girl, 58 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,729 - you're gonna be doing With us too. - pardon me? 59 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,711 I didn't mean it like that. 60 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,112 Thank you, girls. 61 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:25,237 - you are welcome. - jack: woo! 62 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,220 Oh, here is your mail. 63 00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,222 - janet: hi, mr. Furley. - chrissy: hi. 64 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,957 Hey, listen... Where Have you people been? 65 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,793 You complain I never fix things 66 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,896 Then when I come up here you let The doorbell ring for 10 minutes. 67 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,698 That's broken too. 68 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,533 - all right, I'll get to that. - thank you. 69 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,436 - and what's this about No heat in your bedroom? - right in there. 70 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:50,407 That was before he got the Date with miss beach volleyball. 71 00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:56,145 Tippy-toes has got a What with miss who? 72 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,014 No, no, no, no, she said... 73 00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,384 I don't want to miss my date to play Beach volleyball with the fellows. 74 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,875 You know... No spiking! 75 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,491 And I bet when you boys Are through with the net, 76 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,827 You cut it up for t-shirts. 77 00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,263 T-shirts! Oh, that's very funny! 78 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:16,032 Okay, mr. Furley, take your Choice... Heater or doorbell. 79 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,435 - doorbell. - thank you. Chrissy... 80 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,726 - chrissy: I forgot. - janet: shh. 81 00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,773 - I'll be darned! - what? 82 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,875 - this is from b.J. - who is b.J.? 83 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,644 He's coming to visit me. 84 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,447 - who is b.J.? - I haven't seen him in years. 85 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:34,117 - who the devil is b.J.? - it's my old navy buddy. 86 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:37,053 We went all through boot camp Together, but we got separated. 87 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:40,357 Oh, poor baby. 88 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:43,059 Sometimes these things Just don't work out. 89 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:46,818 Just fix the doorbell, would You, please? Thank you very much. 90 00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,644 You people have been Ringing this wrong. 91 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:04,281 I'll have to come back. 92 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:07,817 Well, the old wizard Certainly fixed it, didn't he? 93 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:11,655 Yeah, now we have the only Doorbell that sends smoke signals. 94 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,747 Get it? 95 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:42,974 Bobbie, would you like An after-dinner drink? 96 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,158 No, thanks, jack 97 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,529 I might spill it when We start necking. 98 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,263 I beg your pardon? 99 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:57,400 Well, you fixed that delicious Dinner and you've been so nice... 100 00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,001 What else did you have in mind? 101 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,070 Nothing, nothing at all. 102 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,506 I'm glad. I can't Stand rejection. 103 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,942 Well, there won't be any. We don't have much time. 104 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:09,133 - what? - I mean... Now is the time. 105 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:20,612 - is that your roommates? - no, it's my heart pounding. 106 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,197 Ah! 107 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,501 Uh... You didn't answer. 108 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,436 I got you a new thermostat. 109 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,394 Wonderful. Thank you. Bye. 110 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,213 You know what this Means, don't you? 111 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,417 Yeah, I finally get a Heater in my bedroom. 112 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,419 I'm talking about you and her. 113 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:52,889 Uh... Did you say her? 114 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,925 Yeah, her, she, her! 115 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,327 Of course, how could you know? 116 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,062 Know what? 117 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,087 That she is not A her. she's a he. 118 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,569 She's a he? 119 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,605 Or he is a she, Take your choice. 120 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:12,864 That's my old navy Buddy, b.J., bobbie, uh... 121 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,647 That girl is a guy? 122 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,738 Only on dates. 123 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,452 That her is a him? 124 00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:25,522 Yeah, most of the time it's Bosun's mate bob, u.S. Navy. 125 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:28,691 What won't you People think of next? 126 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,727 So now everything is okay, huh? 127 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,295 - I got to see this Close up. - no, no. 128 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:39,168 Oh, bobbie, this is my landlord. 129 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,270 Hi. 130 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,806 Relax, pal. 131 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,808 You don't have to be Sensitive around me. 132 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:47,952 It's just that I've never gotten This close to one of you before. 133 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,802 I can see why. 134 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,885 - how do you get Your voice so high? - what? 135 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,020 Uh, mr. Furley we'd love You to stay and chat, 136 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,056 But we know how busy you are. 137 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,091 Everything looks so real. 138 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,561 What are you talking about? 139 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,530 - I bet that wig Cost a fortune. - hey, stop that. 140 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,599 Oh, he's kidding, you Know, landlords... 141 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:13,069 The skin and everything. It must Be murder shaving that close. 142 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,438 Jack, is this some Kind of a joke? 143 00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:18,908 I gotta hand it to you... You sure had me fooled. 144 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:23,079 Ouch! That hurt, you creep! 145 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,448 - bobbie, wait. I'll go with you. - no, back off now. 146 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:27,884 I've met some weirdos in my Days, but he takes the prize. 147 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:31,287 - and you... You didn't Even try to stop it. - bobbie, wait. I can explain. 148 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,058 Listen to who's talking weirdos. 149 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,861 Mr. Furley. 150 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:42,420 Relax, jack. You know what they Say... You can never trust a sailor. 151 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:48,738 There went paradise, not to Mention six lbs. Of prime rib. 152 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,740 You know something, jack? 153 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:54,499 You're almost there. Why Don't you take that last step? 154 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,446 What are you talking about? 155 00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,449 Well, she... He... Whatever... 156 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,552 That was so close To the real thing, 157 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:05,476 Why don't you come Over to the other side? 158 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,791 What?! 159 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:12,918 You're standing at the golden Door, let me pull you through. 160 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,900 - you mean... Girls? - yeah. 161 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:21,370 And ralph furley here, The king of romance, 162 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,940 I'll teach you everything I know personally. 163 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:27,944 You'll get the benefit of all my Experience and skill with women. 164 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:31,648 You'll be a swinging macho Man before you know it. 165 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,751 Wait a minute... You mean You will convert me? 166 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,853 It's not gonna be easy, But I think I can do it. 167 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,855 I may be the only One that can do it. 168 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:42,659 You mean... So I can date Girls, right out in the open 169 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:46,829 And take them to the beagle and hug 'em and kiss 'em and lord knows what? 170 00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:51,034 - yeah, it's great Stuff, trust me. - okay, when do I start? 171 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:54,704 I'll start your first Lesson tomorrow, slugger. 172 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,806 Mr. Furley, thanks. 173 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,797 - wrong. - sorry. 174 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,671 It's gonna be uphill. 175 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,887 - hi, girls. - oh hi, mr. Furley. 176 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,755 Keep an eye on him, will you? 177 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,379 See you tomorrow, fella. 178 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,965 Aha, that's it. That's It. I'm free. I'm free! 179 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,166 Boy, that must Have been some date. 180 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:27,070 - no, I don't have To fake it anymore. - janet: what? 181 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:31,529 Furley's gonna show me How to be a real ladies' man. 182 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,799 Woo! 183 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,048 All right, I'm coming. 184 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,583 Hi, larry. Where are you going? 185 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,952 I'm just taking a little Side trip to vegas. 186 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:46,288 Oh yeah? When you come back you're Gonna see a big change around here. 187 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,525 Oh really? What, are you Finally fixing up the place? 188 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,929 - no, I'm gonna fix jack. - I didn't know he was broken. 189 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,699 No, no. Jack wants To be a real man 190 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,735 And I'm gonna show him how. 191 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:02,639 - you're gonna show him? - yeah, I'm gonna teach him Everything I know. 192 00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:05,041 Well that shouldn't Take too long. 193 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,376 I mean jack is a Very good student. 194 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,712 Oh, yeah. He should Graduate in no time. 195 00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:12,314 You know something though? I'm really gonna miss him. 196 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:16,318 - oh? Why is that? - we can't have a man living Here with two girls. 197 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,688 My brother bart Would never allow it. 198 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,690 So jack will just Have to move out. 199 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,681 - well, have a good trip. - wha... 200 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,701 All right, all Right! I'm coming! 201 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,658 Ahh. 202 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:43,412 Okay, you guys. Promise me You won't laugh no matter what. 203 00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,947 Okay, jack, we promise. 204 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,684 I don't know why furley insists On chrissy and I being here. 205 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,153 I guess he wants an audience. 206 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:53,556 You know, every time I think of Furley teaching jack how to be a man... 207 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,958 Yeah, really. 208 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,728 Knock it off, okay? You're Gonna blow my one chance 209 00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:01,064 To quit this act I've had To put on for three years. 210 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,666 Okay, we're sorry. We'll be good. 211 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,836 That's him. Now remember, You have to take this seriously 212 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:10,795 - no matter what he says, Play along with him. - janet: okay, we'll play along. 213 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,748 I gotta remember To fix that doorbell. 214 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:21,117 - never mind that, mr. Furley, Just come on in. - okay. 215 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,285 - how ya doing, tiger? - ready! 216 00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,855 That's the old fight. Hi, girls. 217 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,924 - hi, mr. Furley. - I gotta admit, mr. Furley, 218 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:31,928 - I'm a little nervous. - oh, there's nothing to be Scared about, jack. 219 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,930 This won't hurt a bit. 220 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,932 Now as you all know, 221 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:39,602 I'm here to teach jack How to be a real man. 222 00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:43,027 - now you may laugh at this. - oh no we won't. He told us Not to. 223 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,411 - yeah, nothing, nothing. Go on, professor. - oh, yeah. 224 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,480 Which one of you ladies Would like the honor 225 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,584 Of being my partner In this demonstration? 226 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,121 Go ahead, chrissy. Mr. Furley's waiting. 227 00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,389 - oh, no, you deserve The honor more. - chrissy. 228 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,458 You're my best friend, I want you to do this. 229 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,493 No, you've been so Kind to me, I insist. 230 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:07,663 Come on, girls. Don't fight over me. 231 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:11,622 - gosh, I'll use Chrissy first. - oh, double darn. 232 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:16,672 All right, chrissy. You're Standing on the corner 233 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,629 Waiting for a bus. 234 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,811 - where are you going? - to get my purse. 235 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,602 - what for? - bus fare. 236 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:30,253 The bus never shows Up! Come over here. 237 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,321 Come on, come on. 238 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,324 Just stand right Here. Okay, jack? 239 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,193 - yeah? - mm-hmm? Oh, sorry. 240 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:41,330 Lesson #1... Is approach. 241 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,333 Now you sidle up to the girl. 242 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,670 - sidle? - yeah, you don't want To scare the target away. 243 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,372 Here, let me show you. 244 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,965 Okay. 245 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,526 Are you religious? 246 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,729 - yes. - then you're prayers Have just been answered! 247 00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,686 Here I am. 248 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,157 Buzz off, pinhead. 249 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,373 Janet: chrissy! 250 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:27,210 You're not supposed To play hard to get. 251 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,312 Uh, mr. Furley? Can I try it now. 252 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,181 Well, it's a little Soon, but go ahead. 253 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,183 I'll just try it. 254 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,140 Okay. I'll just relax. 255 00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:51,234 You know what I like about you? 256 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:54,525 - what? - my arms. 257 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,661 Oh, that's cute. 258 00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,899 It was beginner's luck. 259 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,480 Okay, now what? 260 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,438 Contact. Put your Arms around her. 261 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:16,259 No, no, no. That's Clumsy, clumsy. 262 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,261 Chrissy, excuse us a minute. 263 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,462 - now, you take her arm. - yeah. 264 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,631 - then you put Her hand in yours. - mm-hmm. 265 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:26,635 This hand disappears... And pops up here. 266 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,138 And this hand pops down here. 267 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,096 - and then you pivot! - whoa! 268 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,114 - you try it. - okay. Take this hand. 269 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,349 Yeah. 270 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,307 This hand? 271 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,621 - hi, is jack here? - yes, just one minute. 272 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,546 I just want to tell Him how sorry... 273 00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,629 Well I should have known! 274 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,933 I hope you two will be very Happy together. Goodbye, jack! 275 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,935 Bobbie, wait! 276 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,603 Hold on, admiral! I'm just his landlord! 277 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,472 No, no, hey. Let him go. 278 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,042 - you never can Trust a sailor. - attaboy, jack. 279 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,044 You know something? I think you're ready 280 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:11,459 For the big test right Now. Come on over here. 281 00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:11,981 I am? 282 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,983 Plant yourself! Okay, janet. 283 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,485 - what? Oh great. - it's your turn. Come on over here. 284 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,988 - yeah. - right up to him. Okay! 285 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,990 Now this is your final exam! 286 00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,292 Okay! Let her rip! 287 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,494 - just watch it, jack. - don't spoil it, janet. 288 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,997 - what do I do, mr. Furley? - kiss her! Yeah. 289 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,887 - kiss her. - great. 290 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,463 On the lips?! Ew! Ick! Yuck! 291 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,813 - it's your final exam! - okay. 292 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,737 Okay. 293 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,321 Oh, I can't! I can't kiss Another woman, please! 294 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,690 - oh you creep! You creep! - no, no, wait, wait! 295 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,959 - I'm in the mood now. Can I touch her? - oh! 296 00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,961 Mr. Furley: oh, of course. Sure. 297 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,863 Here it goes. 298 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,368 That's it! That's It! You've got it! 299 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,935 That's it! 300 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,039 - jack: go away! - jack! It's me, larry! 301 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:13,042 I've got something Important to tell you! 302 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:16,045 - jack, I think we Better let him in. - that's it for brunettes! 303 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,047 Let me try a blonde! 304 00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,049 Larry: jack! Jack! 305 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:24,387 - it's a matter of life and death! - okay, I'm coming! 306 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,222 - what?! - jack! 307 00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,457 That's great! You've graduated! 308 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,114 Oh no, too late. 309 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,063 Congratulations, jack! You're a real man now. 310 00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,399 I've graduated! I've graduated! 311 00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:40,069 And don't you forget to keep in Touch after you move out of here. 312 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,737 All: move out?! 313 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:45,741 Well sure. Now that he's Changed, he has to move out. 314 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,210 You're not gonna Move out, are you, jack? 315 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,146 Oh, yeah! My brother bart 316 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,415 Is very strict About these things. 317 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,705 Now you keep in touch, fella. 318 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:02,480 Oh, I was afraid This would happen. 319 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:07,143 Excuse me. Wait a minute, larry. 320 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,320 You knew about all of this. 321 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,368 Yeah, well, uh, furley Told me yesterday 322 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,370 Before I went to vegas. 323 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,605 Then why didn't you Come up and tell me?! 324 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,808 Because the meter Was running on my taxi. 325 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,366 - why didn't you call me?! - long distance? 326 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:26,782 What am I getting Mad at you for? 327 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:30,241 I'm the one to blame. I Thought I was being so smart. 328 00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:39,661 Well, don't worry, jack. We're Not gonna let you go that easily. 329 00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:41,230 Thanks, but what can you do? 330 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,732 Well, one thing, we could Go down and talk to furley. 331 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:47,203 - come on, chrissy. - and he better let you Stay or else... 332 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:51,162 - or else what? - or else he won't! 333 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,045 I tell ya, larry. I'm Such a loser today. 334 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,781 - first my home and now Bobbie trilling. - bobbie trilling? 335 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,084 - I know her. - I used to know her. 336 00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,819 Till she came in and Saw me and furley 337 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,588 With our arms wrapped Around each other. 338 00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:09,125 - yeah, well I'd be jealous too if I saw... - will you cut it out?! 339 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,960 Furley was showing me How to be a "Real" man, right? 340 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,062 And now bobbie thinks I'm gay. 341 00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,064 Hey, no problem-o. I'll just call her 342 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,434 - and patch things up. - not in a million years. 343 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:22,371 - she'll never see me again. - hey, just leave everything To uncle larry, all right? 344 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,441 As long as you're leaving, I'm Gonna throw you a farewell party. 345 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,832 And the party's name Is bobbie trilling. 346 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,336 I'm getting a headache. 347 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,853 Bobbie, it's awfully nice Of you to meet me here 348 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,855 At a moment's notice? 349 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,858 - well, you did say It was an emergency. - oh, it is. 350 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,361 Bobbie, you're a very warm, 351 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,896 Generous, giving person. 352 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,699 - why thank you, larry. - aw, don't mention it. 353 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,202 Bobbie, I know you'd Want to help a man 354 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,204 Who thinks the world of you 355 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,307 And who needs you, desperately. 356 00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:01,210 Oh, of course, larry. 357 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,367 - your place or mine? - no. 358 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,218 Well, maybe tomorrow. 359 00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:12,221 - I'm talking about jack. - jack?! Don't mention His name to me. 360 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:16,024 - no, no, you don't understand. - no, I saw him in the arms Of another man. 361 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,549 That man was his father. 362 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,397 - his father? - mm-hmm. 363 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,532 - that crazy, weird... - no, no, no. 364 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,867 Not crazy. Drunk. 365 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,204 Blitzed out of his gourd 366 00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:31,507 That's why jack had his arms Around him. To hold him up. 367 00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,742 But jack said that Was his landlord. 368 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,977 He didn't want to Embarrass the old man 369 00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:38,347 - in front of A perfect stranger. - oh. 370 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:42,251 Yeah, that's been jack's Tragic secret all his life. 371 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,475 The things that poor boy Has done for his father. 372 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:48,056 - poor jack. - yeah. 373 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,259 So bobbie, if you could Find it in your heart 374 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,595 To go to him now With a little cheer, 375 00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:55,231 A little love, to Help him forget. 376 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:59,189 Oh, yes I will. And Thank you for telling me. 377 00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:06,731 I should be writing commercials. 378 00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,739 Just a minute! 379 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:25,628 - bobbie. - poor, dear jack. 380 00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:28,130 Larry told me everything. 381 00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:31,300 - oh, then you know that my landlord... - no more secrets, jack. 382 00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:33,636 Larry told me about your father. 383 00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:36,138 - my father? What father? - that poor sick man. 384 00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:39,141 Oh that father! Oh, yeah. 385 00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:41,310 You know about His heart trouble. 386 00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:43,579 Larry told me he had A drinking problem. 387 00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:47,783 Drinking problem! Which of course Brought on the heart trouble. 388 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,818 And I ran away twice. 389 00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:51,987 Can I ever make it up to you? 390 00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:54,312 I have a suggestion. 391 00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:59,395 - come on! - I don't know why you're Dragging me up here. 392 00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:02,798 - it's not gonna do any good. - look, the very least you Could do is listen 393 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:06,034 - to jack's side of the story. - yeah, you're the one Who changed him. 394 00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:06,696 All right. 395 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,204 All right, come on. Right in here, come on. 396 00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:13,175 I'll listen but I... 397 00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:15,678 - are you two at it again?! - mr. Furley! 398 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,846 After all my teaching! 399 00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:21,183 Well, once a tippy-toes Always a tippy-toes. 400 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:24,520 - now wait a second. - isn't your ship ever Going to sail? 401 00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:26,522 Oh my god, he's drunk again. 402 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,479 Yeah, poor man. 403 00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:32,528 - don't pay any attention... - oh, get away from me! 404 00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:33,796 Cool it, swabby. 405 00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:35,798 I was just admiring The war paint. 406 00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:39,267 It must take you days To get looking that good. 407 00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,269 Oh, now that does it! 408 00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:43,627 And I don't care if you do Have a drinking problem! 409 00:22:44,897 --> 00:22:47,376 Oh, she didn't mean that. That was an accident. 410 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,546 - bobbie, say you're sorry. - you want me to say I'm sorry? 411 00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:52,381 - yes! - okay! 412 00:22:52,405 --> 00:22:54,565 I'm sorry I ever met you! 413 00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:57,252 Ow! 414 00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:59,254 - oh. - cheer up, jack. 415 00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:01,798 At least you won't Have to move out. 416 00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,560 - I won't? - of course not. 417 00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:07,363 It's obvious you're never Gonna be interested in females. 418 00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:11,367 - welcome home! - can you believe this? 419 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,369 - yeah. - welcome home... 420 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:15,325 Oh, get away from me! 421 00:23:21,467 --> 00:23:23,967 So near and yet so far. 422 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,214 Coming! 423 00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:40,627 Hi, mr. Furley. 424 00:23:40,651 --> 00:23:43,399 Hi, janet. Is jack here? I Wanna ask him a question. 425 00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:46,201 Oh yeah. His navy buddy Came in. They're in the kitchen. 426 00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:48,665 Did they get together again? 427 00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:51,940 - wasn't it calloway? - calloway. 428 00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:54,510 - mr. Furley, I'd like you to meet my... - I know, I know. 429 00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:56,378 - we met, remember? - when? 430 00:23:56,402 --> 00:23:58,702 When? When you hit Me with your purse! 431 00:24:00,473 --> 00:24:02,785 - huh? - and I'll tell you Something, bobbie. 432 00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:05,153 You make a better looking Girl than you do a guy. 433 00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,155 Now wait a minute! 434 00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:09,157 No, wait, wait. He Was just kidding. 435 00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:11,159 Let me ask you Something confidentially. 436 00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:13,729 Don't you feel a little naked Without your pantyhose? 437 00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:15,898 - mr. Furley. - what's this guy Talking about? 438 00:24:15,922 --> 00:24:18,066 - hey, jack, Help me out! - oh, oh! 439 00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:20,023 Help me out, jack! 440 00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:49,297 ritter's voice: "Three's Company" was videotaped 441 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:50,721 in front of a studio audience. 34370

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