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1
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♪ come and knock on our door ♪
2
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,025
♪ come and knock on our door ♪
3
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,593
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
4
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,061
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
5
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:21,164
♪ where the kisses are
Hers and hers and his ♪
6
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,134
♪ three's company too ♪
7
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,935
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
8
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,804
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
9
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,939
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
10
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:33,143
♪ we've a lovable space
That needs your face ♪
11
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,900
♪ three's company too ♪
12
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,622
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
13
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,047
♪ three's company too ♪
14
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,834
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
15
00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:00,225
♪ three's company too. ♪
16
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,281
- hi, janet.
- hi, jack.
17
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,838
- how's my favorite person?
- oh, fine, thanks.
18
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,423
- janet?
- what?
19
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,425
Don't move.
20
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:22,759
What?
21
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,828
The way the light
Is hitting your face...
22
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:29,599
I have never seen
You look so beautiful.
23
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,202
You are a botticelli painting.
24
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,371
You are a sculpture
By michelangelo.
25
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:37,407
- no.
- what do you mean "No"?
26
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,243
I mean, no. No, jack.
27
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,213
It is your turn. I will not
Clean the apartment for you.
28
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,149
Okay, janet, okay.
Where's chrissy?
29
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,918
She's in taking a shower, but
She said to tell you no too.
30
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,754
I'd like to hear that from
Her, thank you very kindly.
31
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,712
You're welcome.
32
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,948
Chrissy?
33
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,518
No.
34
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,169
Whatever happened to
The milk of human kindness?
35
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:09,239
All I'm getting around
Here is sour cream.
36
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:12,242
Look jack, every time you
Have to cook for a hot date,
37
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,144
Chrissy and I get
The same routine.
38
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:17,280
Please, girls, just this once, won't
You clean the apartment for me?
39
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,649
- well, not this time.
- oh no?
40
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:23,420
No, I want you to clean the
Apartment and stay away from it, please.
41
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,489
- what?
- forget it, jack.
42
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,924
Please, girls, this
One's real special.
43
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,526
Sure, they all are.
44
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,862
Oh yeah? Would I buy six lbs.
Of prime rib for just anyone?
45
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,320
It sounds like your
Date is a st. Bernard.
46
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:40,270
- boy, this must be love.
- I know.
47
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,639
Hey, jack, who is
This girl anyway?
48
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,708
- her name happens to be
Bobbie trilling.
- yeah?
49
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,845
And she entered a beauty
Contest and won first prize...
50
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,636
"Miss beach volleyball."
51
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,684
That's not much of a prize.
52
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,155
I'd rather win "Mr.
Beach volleyball."
53
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:02,526
I don't need your very bad
Jokes. I need your help, please.
54
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,529
I guess we could go to
A movie until 10:00, janet.
55
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:09,533
Oh, thanks. Janet, please.
56
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,502
All right, till 10:00,
Jack, but 10:00, okay?
57
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,904
After that, whatever
You're doing with that girl,
58
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,729
- you're gonna be doing
With us too.
- pardon me?
59
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,711
I didn't mean it like that.
60
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,112
Thank you, girls.
61
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:25,237
- you are welcome.
- jack: woo!
62
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,220
Oh, here is your mail.
63
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,222
- janet: hi, mr. Furley.
- chrissy: hi.
64
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,957
Hey, listen... Where
Have you people been?
65
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,793
You complain I never fix things
66
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,896
Then when I come up here you let
The doorbell ring for 10 minutes.
67
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,698
That's broken too.
68
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,533
- all right,
I'll get to that.
- thank you.
69
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,436
- and what's this about
No heat in your bedroom?
- right in there.
70
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:50,407
That was before he got the
Date with miss beach volleyball.
71
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:56,145
Tippy-toes has got a
What with miss who?
72
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,014
No, no, no, no, she said...
73
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,384
I don't want to miss my date to play
Beach volleyball with the fellows.
74
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,875
You know... No spiking!
75
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,491
And I bet when you boys
Are through with the net,
76
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,827
You cut it up for t-shirts.
77
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,263
T-shirts! Oh, that's very funny!
78
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:16,032
Okay, mr. Furley, take your
Choice... Heater or doorbell.
79
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,435
- doorbell.
- thank you. Chrissy...
80
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,726
- chrissy: I forgot.
- janet: shh.
81
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,773
- I'll be darned!
- what?
82
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,875
- this is from b.J.
- who is b.J.?
83
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,644
He's coming to visit me.
84
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,447
- who is b.J.?
- I haven't seen him in years.
85
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:34,117
- who the devil is b.J.?
- it's my old navy buddy.
86
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:37,053
We went all through boot camp
Together, but we got separated.
87
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:40,357
Oh, poor baby.
88
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:43,059
Sometimes these things
Just don't work out.
89
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:46,818
Just fix the doorbell, would
You, please? Thank you very much.
90
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,644
You people have been
Ringing this wrong.
91
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:04,281
I'll have to come back.
92
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:07,817
Well, the old wizard
Certainly fixed it, didn't he?
93
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:11,655
Yeah, now we have the only
Doorbell that sends smoke signals.
94
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,747
Get it?
95
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:42,974
Bobbie, would you like
An after-dinner drink?
96
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,158
No, thanks, jack
97
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,529
I might spill it when
We start necking.
98
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,263
I beg your pardon?
99
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:57,400
Well, you fixed that delicious
Dinner and you've been so nice...
100
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,001
What else did you have in mind?
101
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,070
Nothing, nothing at all.
102
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,506
I'm glad. I can't
Stand rejection.
103
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,942
Well, there won't be any.
We don't have much time.
104
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:09,133
- what?
- I mean... Now is the time.
105
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:20,612
- is that your roommates?
- no, it's my heart pounding.
106
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,197
Ah!
107
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,501
Uh... You didn't answer.
108
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,436
I got you a new thermostat.
109
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,394
Wonderful. Thank you. Bye.
110
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,213
You know what this
Means, don't you?
111
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,417
Yeah, I finally get a
Heater in my bedroom.
112
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,419
I'm talking about you and her.
113
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:52,889
Uh... Did you say her?
114
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,925
Yeah, her, she, her!
115
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,327
Of course, how could you know?
116
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,062
Know what?
117
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,087
That she is not
A her. she's a he.
118
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,569
She's a he?
119
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,605
Or he is a she,
Take your choice.
120
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:12,864
That's my old navy
Buddy, b.J., bobbie, uh...
121
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,647
That girl is a guy?
122
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,738
Only on dates.
123
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,452
That her is a him?
124
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:25,522
Yeah, most of the time it's
Bosun's mate bob, u.S. Navy.
125
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:28,691
What won't you
People think of next?
126
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,727
So now everything is okay, huh?
127
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,295
- I got to see this
Close up.
- no, no.
128
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:39,168
Oh, bobbie, this is my landlord.
129
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,270
Hi.
130
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,806
Relax, pal.
131
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,808
You don't have to be
Sensitive around me.
132
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:47,952
It's just that I've never gotten
This close to one of you before.
133
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,802
I can see why.
134
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,885
- how do you get
Your voice so high?
- what?
135
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,020
Uh, mr. Furley we'd love
You to stay and chat,
136
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,056
But we know how busy you are.
137
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,091
Everything looks so real.
138
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,561
What are you talking about?
139
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,530
- I bet that wig
Cost a fortune.
- hey, stop that.
140
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,599
Oh, he's kidding, you
Know, landlords...
141
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:13,069
The skin and everything. It must
Be murder shaving that close.
142
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,438
Jack, is this some
Kind of a joke?
143
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:18,908
I gotta hand it to you...
You sure had me fooled.
144
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:23,079
Ouch! That hurt, you creep!
145
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,448
- bobbie, wait. I'll go with you.
- no, back off now.
146
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:27,884
I've met some weirdos in my
Days, but he takes the prize.
147
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:31,287
- and you... You didn't
Even try to stop it.
- bobbie, wait. I can explain.
148
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,058
Listen to who's talking weirdos.
149
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,861
Mr. Furley.
150
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:42,420
Relax, jack. You know what they
Say... You can never trust a sailor.
151
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:48,738
There went paradise, not to
Mention six lbs. Of prime rib.
152
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,740
You know something, jack?
153
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:54,499
You're almost there. Why
Don't you take that last step?
154
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,446
What are you talking about?
155
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,449
Well, she... He... Whatever...
156
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,552
That was so close
To the real thing,
157
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:05,476
Why don't you come
Over to the other side?
158
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,791
What?!
159
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:12,918
You're standing at the golden
Door, let me pull you through.
160
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,900
- you mean... Girls?
- yeah.
161
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:21,370
And ralph furley here,
The king of romance,
162
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,940
I'll teach you everything
I know personally.
163
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:27,944
You'll get the benefit of all my
Experience and skill with women.
164
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:31,648
You'll be a swinging macho
Man before you know it.
165
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,751
Wait a minute... You mean
You will convert me?
166
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,853
It's not gonna be easy,
But I think I can do it.
167
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,855
I may be the only
One that can do it.
168
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:42,659
You mean... So I can date
Girls, right out in the open
169
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:46,829
And take them to the beagle and hug
'em and kiss 'em and lord knows what?
170
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:51,034
- yeah, it's great
Stuff, trust me.
- okay, when do I start?
171
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:54,704
I'll start your first
Lesson tomorrow, slugger.
172
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,806
Mr. Furley, thanks.
173
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,797
- wrong.
- sorry.
174
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,671
It's gonna be uphill.
175
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,887
- hi, girls.
- oh hi, mr. Furley.
176
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,755
Keep an eye on him, will you?
177
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,379
See you tomorrow, fella.
178
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,965
Aha, that's it. That's
It. I'm free. I'm free!
179
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,166
Boy, that must
Have been some date.
180
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:27,070
- no, I don't have
To fake it anymore.
- janet: what?
181
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:31,529
Furley's gonna show me
How to be a real ladies' man.
182
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,799
Woo!
183
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,048
All right, I'm coming.
184
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,583
Hi, larry. Where are you going?
185
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,952
I'm just taking a little
Side trip to vegas.
186
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:46,288
Oh yeah? When you come back you're
Gonna see a big change around here.
187
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,525
Oh really? What, are you
Finally fixing up the place?
188
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,929
- no, I'm gonna fix jack.
- I didn't know he was broken.
189
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,699
No, no. Jack wants
To be a real man
190
00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,735
And I'm gonna show him how.
191
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:02,639
- you're gonna show him?
- yeah, I'm gonna teach him
Everything I know.
192
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:05,041
Well that shouldn't
Take too long.
193
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,376
I mean jack is a
Very good student.
194
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,712
Oh, yeah. He should
Graduate in no time.
195
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:12,314
You know something though?
I'm really gonna miss him.
196
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:16,318
- oh? Why is that?
- we can't have a man living
Here with two girls.
197
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,688
My brother bart
Would never allow it.
198
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,690
So jack will just
Have to move out.
199
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,681
- well, have a good trip.
- wha...
200
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,701
All right, all
Right! I'm coming!
201
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,658
Ahh.
202
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:43,412
Okay, you guys. Promise me
You won't laugh no matter what.
203
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,947
Okay, jack, we promise.
204
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,684
I don't know why furley insists
On chrissy and I being here.
205
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,153
I guess he wants an audience.
206
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:53,556
You know, every time I think of
Furley teaching jack how to be a man...
207
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,958
Yeah, really.
208
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,728
Knock it off, okay? You're
Gonna blow my one chance
209
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:01,064
To quit this act I've had
To put on for three years.
210
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,666
Okay, we're sorry.
We'll be good.
211
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,836
That's him. Now remember,
You have to take this seriously
212
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:10,795
- no matter what he says,
Play along with him.
- janet: okay, we'll play along.
213
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,748
I gotta remember
To fix that doorbell.
214
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:21,117
- never mind that, mr. Furley,
Just come on in.
- okay.
215
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,285
- how ya doing, tiger?
- ready!
216
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,855
That's the old fight. Hi, girls.
217
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,924
- hi, mr. Furley.
- I gotta admit, mr. Furley,
218
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:31,928
- I'm a little nervous.
- oh, there's nothing to be
Scared about, jack.
219
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,930
This won't hurt a bit.
220
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,932
Now as you all know,
221
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:39,602
I'm here to teach jack
How to be a real man.
222
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:43,027
- now you may laugh at this.
- oh no we won't. He told us
Not to.
223
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,411
- yeah, nothing, nothing. Go on, professor.
- oh, yeah.
224
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,480
Which one of you ladies
Would like the honor
225
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,584
Of being my partner
In this demonstration?
226
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,121
Go ahead, chrissy.
Mr. Furley's waiting.
227
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,389
- oh, no, you deserve
The honor more.
- chrissy.
228
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,458
You're my best friend,
I want you to do this.
229
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,493
No, you've been so
Kind to me, I insist.
230
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:07,663
Come on, girls.
Don't fight over me.
231
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:11,622
- gosh, I'll use
Chrissy first.
- oh, double darn.
232
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:16,672
All right, chrissy. You're
Standing on the corner
233
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,629
Waiting for a bus.
234
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,811
- where are you going?
- to get my purse.
235
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,602
- what for?
- bus fare.
236
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:30,253
The bus never shows
Up! Come over here.
237
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,321
Come on, come on.
238
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,324
Just stand right
Here. Okay, jack?
239
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,193
- yeah? - mm-hmm? Oh, sorry.
240
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:41,330
Lesson #1... Is approach.
241
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,333
Now you sidle up to the girl.
242
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,670
- sidle?
- yeah, you don't want
To scare the target away.
243
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,372
Here, let me show you.
244
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,965
Okay.
245
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,526
Are you religious?
246
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,729
- yes.
- then you're prayers
Have just been answered!
247
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,686
Here I am.
248
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,157
Buzz off, pinhead.
249
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,373
Janet: chrissy!
250
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:27,210
You're not supposed
To play hard to get.
251
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,312
Uh, mr. Furley?
Can I try it now.
252
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,181
Well, it's a little
Soon, but go ahead.
253
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,183
I'll just try it.
254
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,140
Okay. I'll just relax.
255
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:51,234
You know what I like about you?
256
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:54,525
- what?
- my arms.
257
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,661
Oh, that's cute.
258
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,899
It was beginner's luck.
259
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,480
Okay, now what?
260
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,438
Contact. Put your
Arms around her.
261
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:16,259
No, no, no. That's
Clumsy, clumsy.
262
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,261
Chrissy, excuse us a minute.
263
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,462
- now, you take her arm.
- yeah.
264
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,631
- then you put
Her hand in yours.
- mm-hmm.
265
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:26,635
This hand disappears...
And pops up here.
266
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,138
And this hand pops down here.
267
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,096
- and then you pivot!
- whoa!
268
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,114
- you try it.
- okay. Take this hand.
269
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,349
Yeah.
270
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,307
This hand?
271
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,621
- hi, is jack here?
- yes, just one minute.
272
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,546
I just want to tell
Him how sorry...
273
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,629
Well I should have known!
274
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,933
I hope you two will be very
Happy together. Goodbye, jack!
275
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,935
Bobbie, wait!
276
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,603
Hold on, admiral!
I'm just his landlord!
277
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,472
No, no, hey. Let him go.
278
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,042
- you never can
Trust a sailor.
- attaboy, jack.
279
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,044
You know something?
I think you're ready
280
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:11,459
For the big test right
Now. Come on over here.
281
00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:11,981
I am?
282
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,983
Plant yourself! Okay, janet.
283
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,485
- what? Oh great.
- it's your turn. Come on over here.
284
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,988
- yeah. - right up to him. Okay!
285
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,990
Now this is your final exam!
286
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,292
Okay! Let her rip!
287
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,494
- just watch it, jack.
- don't spoil it, janet.
288
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,997
- what do I do, mr. Furley?
- kiss her! Yeah.
289
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,887
- kiss her.
- great.
290
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,463
On the lips?! Ew! Ick! Yuck!
291
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,813
- it's your final exam!
- okay.
292
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,737
Okay.
293
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,321
Oh, I can't! I can't kiss
Another woman, please!
294
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,690
- oh you creep! You creep!
- no, no, wait, wait!
295
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,959
- I'm in the mood now. Can I touch her?
- oh!
296
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,961
Mr. Furley: oh, of course. Sure.
297
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,863
Here it goes.
298
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,368
That's it! That's
It! You've got it!
299
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,935
That's it!
300
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,039
- jack: go away!
- jack! It's me, larry!
301
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:13,042
I've got something
Important to tell you!
302
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:16,045
- jack, I think we
Better let him in.
- that's it for brunettes!
303
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,047
Let me try a blonde!
304
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,049
Larry: jack! Jack!
305
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:24,387
- it's a matterof life and death!
- okay, I'm coming!
306
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,222
- what?!
- jack!
307
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,457
That's great! You've graduated!
308
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,114
Oh no, too late.
309
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,063
Congratulations, jack!
You're a real man now.
310
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,399
I've graduated! I've graduated!
311
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:40,069
And don't you forget to keep in
Touch after you move out of here.
312
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,737
All: move out?!
313
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:45,741
Well sure. Now that he's
Changed, he has to move out.
314
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,210
You're not gonna
Move out, are you, jack?
315
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,146
Oh, yeah! My brother bart
316
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,415
Is very strict
About these things.
317
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,705
Now you keep in touch, fella.
318
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:02,480
Oh, I was afraid
This would happen.
319
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:07,143
Excuse me. Wait a minute, larry.
320
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,320
You knew about all of this.
321
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,368
Yeah, well, uh, furley
Told me yesterday
322
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,370
Before I went to vegas.
323
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,605
Then why didn't you
Come up and tell me?!
324
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,808
Because the meter
Was running on my taxi.
325
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,366
- why didn't you call me?!
- long distance?
326
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:26,782
What am I getting
Mad at you for?
327
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:30,241
I'm the one to blame. I
Thought I was being so smart.
328
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:39,661
Well, don't worry, jack. We're
Not gonna let you go that easily.
329
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:41,230
Thanks, but what can you do?
330
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,732
Well, one thing, we could
Go down and talk to furley.
331
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:47,203
- come on, chrissy.
- and he better let you
Stay or else...
332
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:51,162
- or else what?
- or else he won't!
333
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,045
I tell ya, larry. I'm
Such a loser today.
334
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,781
- first my home and now
Bobbie trilling.
- bobbie trilling?
335
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,084
- I know her.
- I used to know her.
336
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,819
Till she came in and
Saw me and furley
337
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,588
With our arms wrapped
Around each other.
338
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:09,125
- yeah, well I'd be jealous too if I saw...
- will you cut it out?!
339
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,960
Furley was showing me
How to be a "Real" man, right?
340
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,062
And now bobbie thinks I'm gay.
341
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,064
Hey, no problem-o.
I'll just call her
342
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,434
- and patch things up.
- not in a million years.
343
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:22,371
- she'll never see me again.
- hey, just leave everything
To uncle larry, all right?
344
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,441
As long as you're leaving, I'm
Gonna throw you a farewell party.
345
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,832
And the party's name
Is bobbie trilling.
346
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,336
I'm getting a headache.
347
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,853
Bobbie, it's awfully nice
Of you to meet me here
348
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,855
At a moment's notice?
349
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,858
- well, you did say
It was an emergency.
- oh, it is.
350
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,361
Bobbie, you're a very warm,
351
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,896
Generous, giving person.
352
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,699
- why thank you, larry.
- aw, don't mention it.
353
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,202
Bobbie, I know you'd
Want to help a man
354
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,204
Who thinks the world of you
355
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,307
And who needs you, desperately.
356
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:01,210
Oh, of course, larry.
357
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,367
- your place or mine?
- no.
358
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,218
Well, maybe tomorrow.
359
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:12,221
- I'm talking about jack.
- jack?! Don't mention
His name to me.
360
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:16,024
- no, no, you don't understand.
- no, I saw him in the arms
Of another man.
361
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,549
That man was his father.
362
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,397
- his father?
- mm-hmm.
363
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,532
- that crazy, weird...
- no, no, no.
364
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,867
Not crazy. Drunk.
365
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,204
Blitzed out of his gourd
366
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:31,507
That's why jack had his arms
Around him. To hold him up.
367
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,742
But jack said that
Was his landlord.
368
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,977
He didn't want to
Embarrass the old man
369
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:38,347
- in front of
A perfect stranger.
- oh.
370
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:42,251
Yeah, that's been jack's
Tragic secret all his life.
371
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,475
The things that poor boy
Has done for his father.
372
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:48,056
- poor jack.
- yeah.
373
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,259
So bobbie, if you could
Find it in your heart
374
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,595
To go to him now
With a little cheer,
375
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:55,231
A little love, to
Help him forget.
376
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:59,189
Oh, yes I will. And
Thank you for telling me.
377
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:06,731
I should be writing commercials.
378
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,739
Just a minute!
379
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:25,628
- bobbie.
- poor, dear jack.
380
00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:28,130
Larry told me everything.
381
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:31,300
- oh, then you know that my landlord...
- no more secrets, jack.
382
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:33,636
Larry told me about your father.
383
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:36,138
- my father? What father?
- that poor sick man.
384
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:39,141
Oh that father! Oh, yeah.
385
00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:41,310
You know about
His heart trouble.
386
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:43,579
Larry told me he had
A drinking problem.
387
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:47,783
Drinking problem! Which of course
Brought on the heart trouble.
388
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,818
And I ran away twice.
389
00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:51,987
Can I ever make it up to you?
390
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:54,312
I have a suggestion.
391
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:59,395
- come on!
- I don't know why you're
Dragging me up here.
392
00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:02,798
- it's not gonna do any good.
- look, the very least you
Could do is listen
393
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:06,034
- to jack's side of the story.
- yeah, you're the one
Who changed him.
394
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:06,696
All right.
395
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,204
All right, come on.
Right in here, come on.
396
00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:13,175
I'll listen but I...
397
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:15,678
- are you two at it again?!
- mr. Furley!
398
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,846
After all my teaching!
399
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:21,183
Well, once a tippy-toes
Always a tippy-toes.
400
00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:24,520
- now wait a second.
- isn't your ship ever
Going to sail?
401
00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:26,522
Oh my god, he's drunk again.
402
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,479
Yeah, poor man.
403
00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:32,528
- don't pay any attention...
- oh, get away from me!
404
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:33,796
Cool it, swabby.
405
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:35,798
I was just admiring
The war paint.
406
00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:39,267
It must take you days
To get looking that good.
407
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,269
Oh, now that does it!
408
00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:43,627
And I don't care if you do
Have a drinking problem!
409
00:22:44,897 --> 00:22:47,376
Oh, she didn't mean that.
That was an accident.
410
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,546
- bobbie, say you're sorry.
- you want me to say
I'm sorry?
411
00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:52,381
- yes!
- okay!
412
00:22:52,405 --> 00:22:54,565
I'm sorry I ever met you!
413
00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:57,252
Ow!
414
00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:59,254
- oh.
- cheer up, jack.
415
00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:01,798
At least you won't
Have to move out.
416
00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,560
- I won't?
- of course not.
417
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:07,363
It's obvious you're never
Gonna be interested in females.
418
00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:11,367
- welcome home!
- can you believe this?
419
00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,369
- yeah.
- welcome home...
420
00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:15,325
Oh, get away from me!
421
00:23:21,467 --> 00:23:23,967
So near and yet so far.
422
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,214
Coming!
423
00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:40,627
Hi, mr. Furley.
424
00:23:40,651 --> 00:23:43,399
Hi, janet. Is jack here? I
Wanna ask him a question.
425
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:46,201
Oh yeah. His navy buddy
Came in. They're in the kitchen.
426
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:48,665
Did they get together again?
427
00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:51,940
- wasn't it calloway?
- calloway.
428
00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:54,510
- mr. Furley, I'd like you to meet my...
- I know, I know.
429
00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:56,378
- we met, remember?
- when?
430
00:23:56,402 --> 00:23:58,702
When? When you hit
Me with your purse!
431
00:24:00,473 --> 00:24:02,785
- huh?
- and I'll tell you
Something, bobbie.
432
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:05,153
You make a better looking
Girl than you do a guy.
433
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,155
Now wait a minute!
434
00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:09,157
No, wait, wait. He
Was just kidding.
435
00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:11,159
Let me ask you
Something confidentially.
436
00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:13,729
Don't you feel a little naked
Without your pantyhose?
437
00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:15,898
- mr. Furley.
- what's this guy
Talking about?
438
00:24:15,922 --> 00:24:18,066
- hey, jack,
Help me out!
- oh, oh!
439
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:20,023
Help me out, jack!
440
00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:49,297
ritter's voice: "Three's
Company" was videotaped
441
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:50,721
in front of a studio audience.
34370
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