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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,523 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,192 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,626 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,362 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:21,264 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:24,234 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,036 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,804 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,040 - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:33,510 ♪ we've a lovable space That needs your face ♪ 11 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,135 ♪ three's company too ♪ 12 00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:45,855 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 13 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,013 ♪ three's company too ♪ 14 00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:57,934 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,559 ♪ three's company too. ♪ 16 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,779 - hi. - hi, chrissy. 17 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,214 Why do you have one shoe off? 18 00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,083 I got gum stuck on it. 19 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:16,686 Ugh, no, where did that happen? 20 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,643 On the bottom of my shoe. 21 00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,960 I know that the gum is on The bottom of your shoe. 22 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,150 Then why'd you ask? 23 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,787 I'm sorry. 24 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:32,035 I think I better get a Knife and scrape this off. 25 00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,371 Chrissy, you don't need a Knife, you can use an ice cube. 26 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:35,539 - really? - oh, yeah. 27 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,874 Hey, girls, wait till You hear the news. 28 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,843 Not now, jack, I've got to Go put an ice cube on my shoe. 29 00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:44,147 Why? Has it got a headache? 30 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,015 I'm serious. 31 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,885 Chrissy, that's crazy. Why would You put an ice cube on your shoe? 32 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,220 I told her to. 33 00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,789 Oh, well, that makes A whole lot of sense. 34 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,593 The ice cube will get the gum Off the bottom of her shoe. 35 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,795 Oh, I knew that. 36 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,530 Oh, what's your good news? 37 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,165 Come here, girls, come here. 38 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:04,468 - I am going on a cruise. - both girls: you are?! 39 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,669 Yeah, there was a want Ad on our bulletin board... 40 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,938 Assistant chef wanted For a seven-day cruise 41 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,740 And I got the job. 42 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,675 - oh, jack! - jack, this is wonderful. 43 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:15,912 Well, it doesn't pay much, but They're letting me take a friend along. 44 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,648 - they are? - oh, that's right And you know something? 45 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:22,652 I am going to take the girl I would Most like to share a dinghy with. 46 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,155 Who? Who? Who? 47 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:28,492 - mary miles. - mar-mary miles?! 48 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:30,494 I can't believe it. 49 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:34,531 Can you imagine seven days at Sea with that gorgeous creature? 50 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:38,001 Wait a minute, I Just remembered... 51 00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:41,260 Mary gets seasick when She washes her hair. 52 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,407 Jack, 53 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:48,378 Do you have to look through your Phone book to think of someone to take? 54 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,713 Of course not. 55 00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,083 No, I know debbie Webner's phone number. 56 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:57,509 She's perfect. She comes with her Own water-wings and everything. 57 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,491 She also comes with Her own husband. 58 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,527 - huh? - she got married Last month. 59 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,862 Oh, that's right. 60 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:09,098 Shouldn't you take Someone closer to you? 61 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,100 Excuse me. 62 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,637 Someone who knows you inside out 63 00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:16,373 And upside down and backwards. 64 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:18,741 Doctor montgomery's nurse. 65 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,925 I've been meaning to Date her for a long time. 66 00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:25,214 Jack, chrissy was talking about Someone who's been with you 67 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:28,351 - when you were Scrambling and struggling. - trying to make it. 68 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:32,188 Joanne bonny. 69 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,372 She won't put up much Of a fight on a cruise. 70 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,596 - how do you like that? - yeah. 71 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:43,199 If I ever get to go on a free cruise, I'm gonna do the same thing to him. 72 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,924 You're gonna take Joanne bonny too? 73 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:51,007 Oh, I hate these Answering machines. 74 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,643 I never know what to say. 75 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:57,747 Yeah, I know, when you hear The tone, leave a message. 76 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,739 Hello, joanne, this is Captain horatio hornblower. 77 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:06,523 Now hear this... If you're fond Of romance on the high seas, 78 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:09,458 Call jee-ack tripper As soon as you get home. 79 00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:13,730 ♪ anchors aweigh, my Girl, anchors aweigh... ♪ 80 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:17,834 All right, girls, Muster in the galley. 81 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,991 Muster in the galley. 82 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,206 Okay, girls, now listen... 83 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,375 I'm going to show you How to get your sea legs 84 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,011 While still on land. 85 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,746 While still on land. 86 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,815 Janet, would you take that Pan and fill it with water, please? 87 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,817 Fill it with water, please? 88 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,119 Chrissy, bucker up now. 89 00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,488 And I need this and... 90 00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:43,927 This trick was taught to me by biscuits Mcgillicutty when I was in the navy. 91 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,963 Biscuits was the head Cook on the yorktown. 92 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,531 He was so great. 93 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,434 He made chili during the Battle of the coral sea 94 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,436 And he never lost a bean. 95 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,006 Biscuits did that. Anyway, uh... 96 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,576 What you do is you put Your rolling pin on the floor 97 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,277 And you take your Bread board right here. 98 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,812 Put it right on top Of the rolling pin. 99 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,114 Then you balance on it, Just as if it's the rough seas. 100 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,338 Like this, see? 101 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:14,190 Isn't it a shame ed sullivan Couldn't be here to see this? 102 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,392 - all right, now, janet... - hmm-mm? 103 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,962 - you hand me That pan of water. - okay. 104 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,163 Okay, so what you do is You pretend this is hot soup 105 00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:22,832 And you try not To spill any of it. 106 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:26,368 Why don't you take One of us on the cruise? 107 00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:27,804 We're your best friends. 108 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,271 You may be my best friends, 109 00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:32,296 But joanne bonny is my best Bet, if you know what I mean. 110 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,480 - jack. - yeah? 111 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,315 What kind of soup is that? 112 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,084 Right now, it's consommé. 113 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,585 Oh-oh. 114 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,220 Hey, that's my address book. 115 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:47,556 Yeah, let's make It alphabet soup. 116 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,258 Hey! 117 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,460 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 118 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,262 Why did you do that? 119 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,766 You never even once thought of Taking one of us on your cruise, did you? 120 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,669 Believe me, if it were A trip to disneyland, 121 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,370 You girls would Be the first to go. 122 00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:05,141 I suppose you'd take us if we Fooled around, wouldn't you? 123 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,276 If the two of you fooled around, 124 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,500 I'd be too tired To go on a cruise. 125 00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,917 - you're disgusting! - oh, come on! Look. 126 00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:17,353 I can only take one person. 127 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,789 You know what would happen If I asked one of you girls 128 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,724 - to go and not the Other one. what? 129 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,793 - yeah, what? - oh, come on. 130 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,896 You know, one of you Would get hurt and angry. 131 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,298 And then there'd be insults Floating back and forth. 132 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,534 Pretty soon you'd stop Speaking to each other. 133 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,069 Then somebody Would get mad at me, 134 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,672 We'd split up, move out, Go our separate ways 135 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:38,656 And never see each other Again for as long as we'd live. 136 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,332 Go on. 137 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,582 Go on?! Isn't that enough? 138 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:48,117 Jack, you know that Wouldn't happen. 139 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,053 I mean, we're all Mature people here. 140 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,088 We would figure a Way to work it out. 141 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,691 Yeah, janet could go this Time and I could go next time. 142 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,625 Janet: yeah. 143 00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:58,460 Suppose there is no next time? 144 00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:01,444 Then I could go this time And janet could go next time. 145 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:07,136 Chrissy? Why are you the one Deciding who goes this time? 146 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,238 - I'm just trying To be fair, janet. - see? See? 147 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,941 - that doesn't sound... - the arguments are starting already 148 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:16,512 And I haven't even decided which One of you I'm gonna take yet. 149 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,948 - janet: oh, jack! - chrissy: jack! 150 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,951 What's wrong with me? I must Be losing my mind. I have no brains. 151 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,654 I have no backbone. I Am a spineless jellyfish. 152 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,957 I know. That's what We love about you. 153 00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:31,728 Yeah, well, I'm gonna have to make An excuse to joanne when she calls. 154 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,997 Well, you can do that. 155 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:37,033 Okay, I'll decide which One of you goes. But, uh, 156 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,268 I'm gonna flip a coin. That's all there is to it. 157 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,471 - janet, you call. - wait a minute, Wait a minute! 158 00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,428 Why does she get to call it? 159 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,778 What difference does It make who calls it? 160 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,202 Don't play dumb with me. 161 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,352 Listen, I don't understand this. 162 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:59,222 She calls it, she gets To chose heads or tails! 163 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:02,391 - right. - so figure it out! She gets two choices 164 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,748 And I get none! 165 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,959 All these years, it Always seemed fair. 166 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,769 Okay, chrissy. How Do you wanna do it? 167 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,237 Have jack pick a number Between one and 100, 168 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:18,029 Whoever gets the closest To it gets to go on the trip. 169 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,877 - fair enough. - janet: okay. 170 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,645 All right, I got the number. 171 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,914 All right, I pick 34. 172 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,871 That's the number I wanted. 173 00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:34,057 Perhaps you could pick Another number, chrissy. 174 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,059 Why can't she pick Another number? 175 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:39,428 - why does it always Have to be me? - because, you see, 176 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,731 Janet already picked one. 177 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:44,623 Yeah, but she picked mine! Why Can't she pick one of her own? 178 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:49,872 I will, I will, chrissy. 179 00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:53,309 - I pick 67. - oh, sure, now that You know my number. 180 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,266 All right! That's it! 181 00:08:57,337 --> 00:09:00,116 This whole thing is Getting ridiculous now. 182 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,051 - who is it?! - mr. Furley: it's r.F.! 183 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,008 All right, it's furley. 184 00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:09,658 I got it! Furley will decide. 185 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,961 - what? - yeah, whichever One of you girls 186 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,396 He speaks to first, Gets to go on the cruise. 187 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:17,133 But, but, you can't Speak to him first. 188 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:18,322 Agreed? 189 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,171 - okay. - chrissy? 190 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,128 - okay. - okay. 191 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:30,012 Well the whole world's gone Bananas, I hope you know that. 192 00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:34,283 - jack: what's wrong? - oh, it's that mrs. Murphy In 209. 193 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,685 Her rent's due and every Time I go to collect it, 194 00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:40,422 - she does Something crazy. - jack: really? 195 00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:43,492 Yeah, last month she gave Me the rent with a big smile. 196 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,828 Then when I left, she Yelled, "Stop, thief!" 197 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:48,519 "Stop, thief!" I was Almost arrested. 198 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:53,635 - jack: that's terrible. - yeah, I can't stand Her bird. 199 00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,371 What? 200 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,673 - keeps insulting me. - huh? 201 00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:01,577 She's got this parrot Trained to call me nasty names. 202 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:05,281 - jack: like what? - I don't want to repeat Dirty bird talk 203 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,216 In front of... 204 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,052 In front of... Well, you Know, the girls here. 205 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:12,088 Uh, mr. Furley, would You like to sit down? 206 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,090 Oh, thank you. I tell you, jack, 207 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,047 This woman has Just got me so up... 208 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,231 I'm just a landlord trying To do his duty, you know! 209 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,871 But to tell you the Truth, I'm afraid to be alone 210 00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:31,129 With that ding-a-ling! 211 00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:37,813 Would you go down There with me, jack? 212 00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:41,183 Mr. Furley, wouldn't it be better To ask one of the girls to go? 213 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,052 Jack, you're close enough. 214 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:46,422 - jack, will you Go with me? - uh... 215 00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,857 Look, you don't have to Do anything except be there 216 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,660 In case she goes berserk. Uh... 217 00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:55,331 Mr. Furley, I think it would be nicer if You asked either janet or chrissy to go. 218 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,915 All right! Forget I asked, okay?! 219 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:12,415 Janet, what the hell Is wrong with her?! 220 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,850 I won! I won! 221 00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:31,200 I'm sorry, chrissy. 222 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:34,403 Oh, thank you, thank You, thank you, mr. Furley. 223 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,872 - for what? - for not speaking To chrissy. 224 00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:39,075 But I am speaking to chrissy. 225 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,243 Chrissy? Aren't we Speaking to each other? 226 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,912 Don't try to make Up, it's too late. 227 00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:45,915 What did I do to chrissy? 228 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,885 You didn't do anything to Chrissy. You did it to janet. 229 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,888 Well if I did it to janet, Why isn't janet mad at me? 230 00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:54,323 Because she wanted you to Do it. She would have been mad 231 00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,692 If you did it to chrissy. 232 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,594 Will you please Tell me what I did?! 233 00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:01,730 - you didn't do anything! - thank you! 234 00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,587 That's why I'm mad! 235 00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:06,702 Mrs. Murphy and her parrot 236 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,366 Have got this whole Building screwed up! 237 00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,410 Oh. 238 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,913 I didn't want to say anything In front of mr. Furley, 239 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:20,049 But you girls are doing Just what I said you would! 240 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,785 - janet: what? - come on, look at you. 241 00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:25,754 Janet's gloating, Chrissy's pouting. 242 00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,789 we almost got into a Fight with mr. Furley. 243 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:31,093 That's why I didn't want To take either one of you. 244 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:35,397 You're right, jack. 245 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,367 Janet? 246 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,369 - yeah? - it was fair And square 247 00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,538 And I'm glad you won. 248 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:46,397 Chrissy. Oh... Chrissy, thank you! 249 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,279 Hey, listen... 250 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:53,216 If you're not too busy, You could help me pack. 251 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,051 - oh, sure. - okay. 252 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:58,554 - you can use My new suitcase. - oh, thanks! Hey, 253 00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,123 You know? I should take a Couple of bathing suits, huh? 254 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:04,293 Yeah, it gets chilly at night, so You want to take something warm. 255 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,295 You could use my new Sweater. You know, 256 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,630 The one with the fur Collar that I've never worn? 257 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:11,467 Both: ooooh! 258 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,770 Chrissy! That Would be so perfect! 259 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,406 Oh, can't you just see me Standing there at the rail 260 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,109 Looking out over the Water with the waves lapping 261 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:24,813 And the moonlight on the Water and wind blowing in my hair? 262 00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,416 I'll go get the sweater now. 263 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,151 Thanks, chrissy. 264 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:40,017 Do you think she's upset? 265 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,166 No. 266 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:47,470 She always cries Like that around 5:30. 267 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,712 Chrissy? Are you okay? 268 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,714 - sure. - yeah? Oh good. 269 00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:02,518 - I want you to have A good time. - oh, thanks. 270 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:05,621 You know what? I should Probably take a formal outfit. 271 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,324 There'll probably be a party Night with dancing after. 272 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,392 - dancing? - janet: uh-huh. 273 00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,350 I love dancing. 274 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:17,066 - chrissy?! - what? 275 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,236 Are you going to do this Every time we bring up the trip? 276 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,192 No. 277 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:28,277 Chrissy, please! You're taking All the fun out of this for me. 278 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,834 Well I can't help it! 279 00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,651 I would be better off if I Stayed home and you went. 280 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,986 Oh, janet! Thank you! 281 00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:45,183 What? 282 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,598 Why you would go, wouldn't you? 283 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,733 Well you said I could. 284 00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,781 I'm never speaking to You again as long as I live! 285 00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:05,303 Well I am never speaking To her again as long as I live! 286 00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:18,494 The next time I take either One of you girls anywhere, 287 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:21,264 I'm gonna leave You both at home! 288 00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:24,767 I'm starting to Sound like chrissy. 289 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,292 I'm getting a headache. 290 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,632 Hi, lana. Come on in. 291 00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:41,550 Oh, jack, I'm so glad I caught you alone. 292 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:44,208 Uh, not now, lana. I've Got enough problems. 293 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:48,790 That's just what I wanted To talk to you about, jack. 294 00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:51,160 I mean, I really like you. 295 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,630 And I don't want to Jeopardize our friendship 296 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,133 By forcing myself on you. 297 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,502 Well that's really Sweet of you to say, lana. 298 00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:05,474 I'll tell you, I could use Some cheering up right now. 299 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,310 Oh, what's wrong, jack? 300 00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,712 Big fight. Janet and Chrissy aren't even speaking 301 00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:13,649 - to each other. - oh, those silly girls! 302 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,651 Well, how did it happen? 303 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,354 Well, I got a job On a cruise ship 304 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:21,157 And I get to take Somebody along with me. 305 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,858 - so... - oh, jack, take me! 306 00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:25,361 - huh? No, lana. - I'd do anything to be Alone with you. 307 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,785 Lana, don't! Lana, Lana, please stop it! 308 00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:34,292 - will you cool it?! - oh, jack. 309 00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:40,242 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 310 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,010 Well, I... You know, 311 00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,713 Hey, I'd take you if I could. 312 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,983 You're just saying that to Keep me from killing myself. 313 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,920 No, no, no. Lana, no, look, I... 314 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,856 I mean it sincerely. I'd Take you just like that, 315 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,915 Except I gotta choose One of the girls. 316 00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:02,464 Jack... You're wonderful. 317 00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,422 Yeah, well. 318 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,771 - which one of them Is going with you? - well, see, 319 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:12,608 That's what the whole fight is About. I don't know what to do about it. 320 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,476 Jack? 321 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,478 Why don't I talk to them. 322 00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,880 Maybe I could Straighten them out. 323 00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:22,518 - could you? - trust me, jack. 324 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,687 Janet's in her room, Chrissy's in my bedroom. 325 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:27,423 - I'll be in the kitchen Working on my sea legs. - okay. 326 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,925 - good luck. - thanks. 327 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:33,395 Janet? Chrissy? It's lana! 328 00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:36,086 Could I talk to You for a minute? 329 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,568 You could talk to me. 330 00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:42,404 I don't know about What's-her-name. 331 00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,440 You can remember my name. 332 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,442 My mother told me That when I was mad, 333 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,877 I should never Call anybody names. 334 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:53,582 - sticking out your tongue Is a little immature. - girls, stop it! 335 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,917 Why you should be Ashamed of yourselves! 336 00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:58,820 - you're being very selfish. - that's right, janet. 337 00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:01,290 I'm talking to you too, chrissy. 338 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:03,247 Me? Oh. 339 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,796 Well, just look at Yourselves. I mean... 340 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,432 You're not even Speaking to each other. 341 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,802 Pretty soon you won't Even be speaking to jack. 342 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,804 Is this trip worth 343 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,806 Breaking up the relationship 344 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,310 That the three of you have? 345 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,014 No, of course not. 346 00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,016 Chrissy: janet? 347 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,018 - yeah? - you go on the trip 348 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:32,020 And I hope you have A wonderful time. 349 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,022 No, chrissy. 350 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:37,959 You go. Hey, you're a much Better dancer than me. 351 00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:41,029 Yeah, but if I go and you Stay, I won't enjoy myself. 352 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,031 Well, if I go, I'll Feel the same way. 353 00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,434 Do you realize what the Two of you are saying? 354 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,835 - what? - no. 355 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,379 That neither one Of you should go. 356 00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:54,710 What a wonderful idea. Why didn't I think of that? 357 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,668 I'll go break the news to jack. 358 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,584 Jack? Everything's okay. 359 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:04,320 - neither one Of the girls is going. - oh, fantastic! 360 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,322 - I'll go pack. - right. 361 00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,278 What?! No, wait... 362 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,598 Sure, sure. This is gonna Be a terrific vacation. 363 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:19,802 Everything was perfect And now it's all ruined. 364 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,771 Seven days at sea with lana. 365 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:25,241 And it's all our fault. 366 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:27,243 You're darn right, it is! 367 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,011 - oh, jack, what can I do To make it up to you? - no, chrissy, 368 00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:32,848 I'm the one who should think Of something to do to make it up. 369 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:36,118 Hey, I've got an idea. Let's toss a Coin to see who does the making up. 370 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:39,421 No, no. That's how this Whole thing got started. 371 00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:41,890 I was gonna let janet Call first this time. 372 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,360 It's too late for Anything anyway, chrissy. 373 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:47,429 I'm leaving any minute. They're Sending one of the crew-members 374 00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:50,366 - over here to pick me up. - well, uh... 375 00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,868 Where's lana? 376 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,103 She went out to Buy a few things. 377 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,105 She'll meet me on the ship. 378 00:19:57,129 --> 00:20:00,809 I'll be the only passenger On board with his own shark. 379 00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:06,315 Jack, this isn't much, but Janet and I bought you 380 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,016 A bon voyage present For your cruise. 381 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,752 We thought maybe It would help make up 382 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,453 For all the trouble We've caused you. 383 00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,522 Do you like it? 384 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:16,759 Oh, it's beautiful, but you Know, it's a captain's hat. 385 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:20,818 Well, as long as you Don't let it go to your head. 386 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,200 - hi, mr. Furley. Any luck? - no. 387 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,536 That cruise is Completely sold out. 388 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,337 The cruise? We didn't know 389 00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,172 You were trying To go on that trip. 390 00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:35,243 Are you kidding? I'd give anything To spend a week at sea with lana. 391 00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:38,201 The world would be our waterbed. 392 00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:43,819 There's just no justice. You Can't get on and I can't get off. 393 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,776 Ain't that the truth. 394 00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:56,131 Sending you on A cruise with lana 395 00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:59,668 Is like sending a tailor To a nudist colony. 396 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,520 Chrissy: I'll get it. 397 00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:07,442 - well, hi. - hi. 398 00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:10,445 Oh, I'm supposed to pick up somebody Here that's going to the dock. 399 00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:12,380 - oh yeah, Come on in. - thanks. 400 00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:14,917 - hi, you're jack tripper? - me? Jack tripper? 401 00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:20,288 Yeah, he's jack tripper! 402 00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:23,759 Yeah, yeah. "Old beans And grog" tripper, 403 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:26,061 - that's what They call him. - oh, I just knew it. 404 00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:28,463 All navy cooks look the same. 405 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:30,465 - uh... - oh, and he's the best. 406 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:32,467 And he knows that... 407 00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:34,469 All assistant chefs on a cruise, 408 00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:37,305 All they have to Do is follow orders. 409 00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:40,676 - he knows it's going to be So easy for him. - janet: yeah. 410 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:44,634 Just look at him. He can't Wait to get cooking at sea. 411 00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:53,944 You'll love his Specialty... Lana-burgers. 412 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,661 Well, you ready to go, tripper? 413 00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:00,962 - yeah, what are we Waiting for? - hey, hey 414 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,766 Is this the pretty, little Lady who's going with you? 415 00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:07,102 - mr. Furley: uh, no. - oh, it's this little Cutie here, huh? 416 00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:09,059 - nope. - no? 417 00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:14,743 - oh. - no, no, no. Are you kidding? 418 00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:16,845 I'm with these girls. He's got his girl 419 00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:19,682 - waiting for him On board. - oh, good, good. 420 00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:21,684 - well we better Get going. - yeah. 421 00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:25,354 - is that your bag? - no, I'll pick my stuff Up downstairs. 422 00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:27,989 Anchors aweigh. 423 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:32,093 Well, I just can't wait to See the look on lana's face. 424 00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:34,262 Oh, it'll be something To remember, I'm sure. 425 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:36,164 Bon voyage, mr. Furley. 426 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,233 You know, this is Probably the nicest thing 427 00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:40,869 Anyone could ever Do for anybody. 428 00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:43,939 Oh, mr. Furley. 429 00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:45,974 Gosh, for you, anything. 430 00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,976 Well I wasn't talking about me. 431 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,368 I was talking about the Favor you're doing for lana. 432 00:22:56,909 --> 00:23:00,221 Oh, jack. 433 00:23:00,245 --> 00:23:02,591 I guess you're really Disappointed, huh? 434 00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:04,593 Nah, there'll be other cruises 435 00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:06,327 I'll go on the next one. 436 00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:08,196 You're right. 437 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:10,554 Who are you gonna take with you? 438 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:14,069 Well, see, I was thinking 439 00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:17,005 - that this time you Should take joanne. - yeah, or mary miles. 440 00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:20,108 - even if she gets Nauseous, who cares? - or mrs. Murphy's parrot. 441 00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:22,277 - it'll look great On your arm. - yeah. 442 00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:26,103 Ow! 443 00:23:36,381 --> 00:23:38,660 - hi, chrissy. - hi. 444 00:23:38,684 --> 00:23:41,463 Oh, you just missed it. Mr. Furley Just called shore to ship. 445 00:23:41,487 --> 00:23:43,498 No, chrissy, that's Ship to shore. 446 00:23:43,522 --> 00:23:46,289 No it isn't. He Reversed the charges. 447 00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:54,009 What did he have to say? Is he having a good time? 448 00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:57,079 I guess so, but those dining Rooms on the ship must be really big. 449 00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:59,314 - jack: why? - cause he said he lost His dinner 450 00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:01,850 Two nights in a row. 451 00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:04,052 Did he say anything about lana? 452 00:24:04,076 --> 00:24:06,054 Oh, lana got on The phone herself. 453 00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:08,890 - oh, what'd she say? - she left a message For you, jack. 454 00:24:08,914 --> 00:24:10,558 Here, I wrote it down. 455 00:24:10,582 --> 00:24:14,062 Dear, jack. There's Nothing else on here. 456 00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:17,198 Well, I didn't know How to spell... 457 00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:21,436 - don't! - no. 458 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,393 No! 459 00:24:47,519 --> 00:24:50,065 Ritter's voice: "Three's Company" was video-taped 460 00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:51,969 in front of a studio audience. 35907

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