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1
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♪ come and knock on our door ♪
2
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,450
♪ come and knock on our door ♪
3
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:08,185
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
4
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,719
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
5
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,389
♪ where the kisses are
Hers and hers and his ♪
6
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:15,459
♪ three's company too ♪
7
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,027
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
8
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,895
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
9
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:21,898
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
10
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,968
♪ we've a lovable space
That needs your face ♪
11
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,425
♪ three's company too ♪
12
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:37,014
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
13
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,538
♪ three's company too ♪
14
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,187
Come on, larry.
15
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:48,425
Come on... Hey larr...!
16
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:51,161
I'm here! I came as fast as
My little feet would carry me.
17
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,896
- what's up?
- you gotta
Help me out.
18
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,531
Just ask me.
19
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,099
Pay me back the 50
Bucks you owe me.
20
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,934
- ask me something else.
- oh, larry!
21
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,736
Hold on a second,
What's your problem?
22
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,661
I... I'll show you.
23
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,877
I found this under
Chrissy's bed.
24
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,612
What were you
Doing under her bed?
25
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:13,483
You gotta start somewhere.
No, I was cleaning, you know,
26
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:16,053
And it's been lying there
For two weeks. Just read.
27
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:18,355
"Happy anniversary,
Happy anniversary"...
28
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:21,391
- not the paper. Read the card.
- oh.
29
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,761
"To the cutest
And the craziest."
30
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,096
Both: aw.
31
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,765
"Happy third anniversary.
Love, janet and chrissy."
32
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,634
- anniversary?
- yeah, the day I moved
In here with them.
33
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,636
It's from krueger's
Of beverly hills, see?
34
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,705
Wow, that's an expensive store.
35
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:38,442
The most. They sell diamonds
At the notions counter.
36
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,777
Well, now I see your problem.
37
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,780
Janet and chrissy are giving you
A fabulous and expensive present.
38
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:46,783
- what a dirty trick.
- you don't understand.
39
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,953
That means I have to buy
Them something just as nice.
40
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,689
I've been saving all my
Money, I've stopped dating,
41
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,591
I haven't gone out with
A girl for two weeks.
42
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:58,428
You quit dating? Cold turkey?
43
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,430
More like cold showers.
44
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:04,934
Oh, girls' rooms smell so good.
45
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,170
All right, okay.
46
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:09,239
Your uncle larry's gonna
Help you get the dough.
47
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,274
You gonna pay me
Back the 50 bucks?
48
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,510
No, but I will tell you
A secret about myself.
49
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:16,479
It's no secret, you're a mooch.
50
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:19,549
Now look, after I finish
At the used car lot
51
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,250
I've been doing some night work.
52
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,486
I know what you do at
Night, and if it seems like work
53
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:25,455
You're doing it all wrong.
54
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,391
That's not funny.
55
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:31,628
You ever heard of
Professional escort services?
56
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,697
- huh?
- you know...
57
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,231
A lonely lady comes into town
58
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,567
She doesn't want to go
Out alone, so she calls, and...
59
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,758
You're a gigolo?
60
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,641
- escort. A paid companion.
- oh, larry!
61
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,476
Come on, jack.
62
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,712
I earn a couple of
Extra bucks that way.
63
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,714
Hold it, hold it! If
This plan of yours
64
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:52,816
Has anything to do with
Me being a paid escort
65
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,851
You can forget it right now!
66
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,554
Would you relax? I have
A job lined up for tonight
67
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,522
And tomorrow evening
With the same lady.
68
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:02,459
But I have to cancel because
I'm flying to san francisco.
69
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,728
You can start your flight
Right from the balcony!
70
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,764
Jack, now hold it. The
Agency said she's new in town.
71
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,566
All she needs is a party date.
72
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,602
No way. If janet and chrissy found
Out they'd lose all respect for me.
73
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,405
A couple of hours in the
Company of a mature woman.
74
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:18,708
I would never be able to
Face them again. Forget it!
75
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:22,645
- it pays over
A hundred bucks.
- when do I start?
76
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:25,515
Here. Her name is lana
Shields. There's her number.
77
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,551
You just call her and tell
Her you're subbing for me.
78
00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:31,743
And do the best you can
With what little you have.
79
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:37,716
Paid escort...
80
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,775
Hello?
81
00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,777
Mrs. Shields?
82
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:57,046
Yes, this is your escort.
83
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,916
No, I'm jack tripper.
84
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,919
He had to leave town tonight.
85
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,821
Huh?
86
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:08,591
Oh, uh, six feet-one.
87
00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,027
No, no not handsome.
88
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:14,597
Good-looking. Very good-looking.
89
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:17,333
Yes, mrs. Shields, I have your
Address right here... Huh?
90
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:19,335
Oh, okay, "Lana."
91
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:22,672
We'll have a great
Time tonight, lana. Yeah.
92
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,041
Uh, bye bye!
93
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,677
Hey jack, you finally
Got a date. That's terrific.
94
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,446
Yeah, I was beginning to
Think you'd lost your touch.
95
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:33,683
No, no, hold it. I
Don't have a date.
96
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,685
Sounded like a date.
97
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,920
No, I was just talking
To a good buddy of mine.
98
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,123
A good buddy named "Lana"?
99
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:43,126
Yeah, yeah... "Dave lana."
100
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:46,562
Hawaiian guy from
Cooking school.
101
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:49,966
Teaches poi 101.
102
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,401
- we're going to
The fights tonight.
- janet: oh.
103
00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:55,071
Well listen, I'm gonna shower.
104
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,995
Again?
105
00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:00,451
This time I'm gonna
Use hot water.
106
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:05,682
Poor jack's never gone
This long without a date.
107
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,349
He's just going
Through a dry spell.
108
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,051
You going out tonight?
109
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:11,821
No, I thought I'd
Just stay in and relax.
110
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,457
Yeah, nobody asked me either.
111
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:18,027
I guess we're in the
Middle of a dry spell, too.
112
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,730
- you're not kidding.
- yeah.
113
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,633
Boy, chrissy, there are
Thousands of guys out there,
114
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,635
They all have telephones
115
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,038
And not one of them
Bothers to call us up.
116
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,074
Oh, but on the other hand...
117
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,977
Why should we stay in 'cause
Nobody bothered to call us up?
118
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,345
What's the matter with
Us taking each other out?
119
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:39,281
It's cheaper the other way.
120
00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:43,086
Come on, chrissy, we could
Have a good time without men.
121
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,654
- yeah!
- yeah!
122
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,244
How?
123
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:50,893
We could go someplace
Really snazzy.
124
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:54,331
Like that french restaurant,
That new one on olympic.
125
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:56,333
- oh, that's perfect!
- yeah?
126
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:58,317
- let's get dressed!
- okay, let's go!
127
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:18,287
And so I took the
Job, and here I am.
128
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,590
A buyer at willet's
Department store.
129
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,692
That sounds like
An exciting life.
130
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,694
Oh, not really.
131
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:28,498
I've had four jobs
And three husbands...
132
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,622
And none of them satisfied me.
133
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:36,773
Lana, may I ask you a question?
134
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:39,041
Why would an
Attractive woman like you
135
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,025
Go to an escort
Service to get a man?
136
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:46,315
Well, you see it's
Like buying a car.
137
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:49,519
I mean, when I slap those
Bucks down on the counter
138
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:52,355
I know that I can order
The model of my choice.
139
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:55,157
Oh, I get the picture.
140
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:58,661
I don't want to run around
With some beat-up old clunker.
141
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:02,632
I want something that
Goes "Vroom, vroom!"
142
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,634
"Vroom, vroom"?
143
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:08,304
"Vroom, vroom"!
144
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,540
Jack, take me to your garage.
145
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:13,109
Ms. Shields... I
Mean mrs. Shields...
146
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,744
Let's go to your apartment.
147
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:18,048
Wouldn't you rather go
Bowling? Do you like to bowl at all?
148
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:21,083
You're afraid that once
We get to your place
149
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,085
I'll be all over you, right?
150
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,587
Oh, why would I think that?
151
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:29,180
- because it's true.
- no, no... Oh, no.
152
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:49,912
Wow... Waiter: a cocktail
Before you dine?
153
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:52,436
Oh, thank you.
154
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,641
I believe I'll have some water.
155
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,359
Me too.
156
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,361
Of course.
157
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,363
Would you care for
The imported romanian,
158
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:09,365
The mountain clear,
159
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,934
Or the julien sparkling?
160
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,825
I'd like santa monica tap.
161
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,529
Me too.
162
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,710
Jack, why are you
Eating like that?
163
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,680
I just like to be
Close to my foods.
164
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:42,231
Psst... Excuse me, I'm sorry...
165
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:45,301
But could you tell me what
That delicious-looking dessert is?
166
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,036
Black forest cake.
167
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,038
Thank you.
168
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,140
Thank you.
169
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:53,810
That poor woman...
170
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,434
Her date's already
Under the table.
171
00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:00,149
What's the problem?
172
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,984
Just dropped my fork, see?
173
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:03,786
We'll get another one.
174
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:06,189
No, I've grown attached
To this one, see?
175
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,018
Listen, lana, I'll meet
You out front, okay?
176
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,568
Monsieur...
177
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,749
What is this?
178
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,885
Er... "Jack a la carte."
179
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,944
I'm jack, this is a cart,
It's a little humor.
180
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,091
Get off!
181
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,583
Immediately, sorry.
182
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:52,068
You are jiggling my tortes.
183
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,403
Excuse me.
184
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,861
None for me, thanks.
Maybe just a mint...
185
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,579
Chrissy!
186
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,581
$30 for pressed duck!
187
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:08,073
I wonder how much it would
Be if they left it wrinkled.
188
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,755
Jack, I adore your nuttiness.
189
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,657
Let's go crazy together.
190
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,693
Well, I would like
To get out of here.
191
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,861
- me too.
- I know a good disco.
192
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,964
Fine.
193
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:24,067
We can swing by your place
So you can change clothes.
194
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:26,691
I don't have to change clothes.
195
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:33,209
You do now. Let's go.
196
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,044
Waiter, could I have
The check please?
197
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,836
- we're leaving.
- yes, miss.
198
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,218
Come on, jack.
199
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,076
Excuse me, miss. Thank you.
200
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,575
Jack: here we go.
Don't bother to sit,
201
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,645
I'll just change my
Shirt and we'll leave.
202
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,647
There's really no need to leave
203
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:14,350
- and you certainly
Won't need a shirt.
- no, lana...
204
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,852
Hi, anybody home?
205
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,755
Larry.
206
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,190
Larry "Poopkins"!
207
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,254
Where have you been?
208
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:30,133
I told you, I flew
To san francisco.
209
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:33,858
I know, you silly goose. I
Just miss my roomie so much!
210
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,774
Jack, what...?
211
00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:40,843
No, no, let's not get
Mushy in front of lana.
212
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,845
Lana. You're the one who...
213
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,937
Now, now, don't get
Jealous, poopie-kins.
214
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:54,190
You mean that you two are...
215
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,994
Don't get upset, it's
Strictly business.
216
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:01,764
I guess you don't want me
For tomorrow night, do you?
217
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:04,801
Don't be silly, darling.
218
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:08,504
Anyone can change.
219
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:11,741
There is nothing that I like
Better than a challenge.
220
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:15,945
It's no use. A leopard
Cannot change his spots.
221
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:19,938
But he can climb a different
Tree once in a while.
222
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,476
Vroom, vroom!
223
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,448
I'll see you tomorrow night.
224
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:36,332
Mmm... "Vroom-vroom,"
That's good!
225
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,666
- no, it's bad.
- that's bad?
226
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,335
- that's not good.
- not good.
227
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,537
I ought to take you apart.
What did you get me into?
228
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:44,362
- "Poopkins", remember?
- I don't care about
"Poopkins"!
229
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,550
Hi, sit down, I'm making
Chicken salad for lunch.
230
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:57,653
Hope it's better than the
Old hen you had for dinner.
231
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,956
What?
232
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,058
Did you have a good
Time with lana last night?
233
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,148
Lana?
234
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:09,065
You know, the "Don ho"
Of your cooking school?
235
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:13,924
Oh yeah, dick and I had a
Fantastic time last night.
236
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,672
- that's funny.
- what?
237
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,929
Yesterday you said
His name was dave.
238
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,979
Well, that's really his
Name, "David richard."
239
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:27,450
But he gets everything from dick to
Davey, dave, dickie, dee dee, everything.
240
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,385
How were the fights?
241
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,455
The... The fights!
They were great,
242
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,490
But it was so quick, it
Was over in one round.
243
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:38,427
Just jab jab jab, right
Cross, down, over, out, ding.
244
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,696
How much did she
Pay you to take a dive?
245
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,153
Huh?
246
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,338
We saw you in the
Restaurant last night.
247
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,474
Yeah, with david richard lana.
248
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,478
Don't you think she's
A little old for you?
249
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,678
Look, girls...
250
00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:58,780
We also saw her
Paying the check.
251
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:01,517
It's a real funny story.
252
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,319
- let's hear it.
- see, I lost my wallet...
253
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,477
Jack... I have a
Two-part question...
254
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:08,779
Why?
255
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,197
How is that a two-part question?
256
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:17,455
We both wanna know.
257
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,395
Are you going out with
Her because of her money?
258
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,111
Oh, janet!
259
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:31,013
If that's what the
Two of you think of me
260
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,115
You can make your own lunch!
261
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,784
You must admit it
Does look peculiar.
262
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,420
You asked for it.
263
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:40,523
The fact is I prefer
Older women.
264
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,859
My tastes have swung from
Young, empty-headed meringues
265
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:48,130
To seasoned entrees
Well-basted by life.
266
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:49,687
Don't touch me!
267
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,968
Boy!
268
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:54,770
What's the matter with jack?
269
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,138
We don't know.
270
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:59,108
Last night he was out
With this older woman,
271
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,510
And today he is lying
Like a rug about it.
272
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,413
Larry, you're his best friend.
You know what's going on.
273
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:07,015
- you don't have
Any idea?
- no.
274
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:09,385
That's good. I mean that's bad.
275
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:13,923
I... I'll tell you what
Jack's problem is.
276
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:17,148
It's a male confidence crisis.
277
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,096
So what... What's this?
278
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,865
I saw it coming. Jack has
Not had a date for two weeks
279
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,667
He feels left out, unloved.
280
00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:27,603
Just because he
Hasn't had a date?
281
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,138
The man is desperate.
282
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,207
So when an older
Woman comes along
283
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:34,610
Who gives him the love and
Affection his life has been missing...
284
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:38,536
Oh, poor baby!
285
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,450
I'm just sick.
286
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,707
I'm getting there.
287
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,423
I'm gonna go make lunch.
288
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:51,293
We men need proof we're
Lovable and desirable, too.
289
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:54,563
If we don't get it... See
What it's done to jack.
290
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:59,167
Yeah. Do you know he actually let
That woman pay his way last night?
291
00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:03,239
No... I never thought
He'd stoop so low.
292
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:06,230
He's stooped all the
Way down to the floor!
293
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:10,834
He thought the roast beef
Would hide him but it rolled away.
294
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,285
Oh.
295
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,186
That explains it.
296
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:21,022
It's obvious. Jack
Needs your help.
297
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,458
I'll do anything!
298
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,825
You may have to.
299
00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:25,894
The only hope is
To convince jack
300
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,763
That he's sexy and attractive.
301
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:30,966
Try smothering him
With physical affection.
302
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,470
Wow, I've never
Done that before.
303
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,894
- really?
- but I'll do it! I'll do it!
304
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:41,644
If you like you
Could practice on me.
305
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,968
I would go through
Anything to help my buddy.
306
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:48,606
Except pain. Ow!
307
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,557
Oh, that was delicious.
308
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:58,827
This is my favorite restaurant.
309
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,331
Why don't we go to
Your place... For dessert?
310
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,667
Now lana, you met my roommate.
311
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,090
It would be like trying to
Sell beef to a vegetarian.
312
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:12,007
I'm not selling beef.
313
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,009
This is perfectly aged,
314
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,513
Prime new york filet.
315
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:21,004
Lana, come on. No ear, okay?
316
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:27,611
Look, lana, I got one
Word for you, "No way."
317
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,926
You come back here!
318
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,594
I own you tonight.
319
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:35,464
I paid my money and
Still have some time left.
320
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,333
Okay, I'll give you the time.
321
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,734
That's better.
322
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,678
It's 10:30, time to say goodbye.
323
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,831
None for me, thank you.
324
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,251
Chrissy!
325
00:17:56,275 --> 00:18:00,077
Oh, jack! I've been waiting
For you to come home.
326
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,295
Somehow I don't
Think this involves
327
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:09,865
Taking out the garbage.
328
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,000
Jack, come over to the sofa.
329
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,757
Is it my aftershave?
330
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,239
Come on.
331
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,829
Please?
332
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,612
- where's janet?
- shh. She's sleeping
333
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:24,813
Good. Shh.
334
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:26,782
She needs her rest.
335
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:31,420
Oh, jack you are so beautiful.
336
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,723
Just think, all I was looking forward
To when I came through the door
337
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:38,160
Was a tuna fish sandwich!
338
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:42,798
Do you know how sexy and
Charming and attractive you are?
339
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,433
No...
340
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,791
But I'm open to
Convincing arguments.
341
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,762
I woke up so thirsty.
342
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,778
What's going on here?
343
00:18:56,802 --> 00:19:00,449
I'm just convincing jack
He's still sexy and attractive.
344
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,653
Oh. And to think I almost
Slept through this.
345
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:08,712
Fortunately, good
Seats are still available!
346
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,685
- jack?
- lana!
347
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,367
Hi, what are you doing here?
348
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,203
You didn't think I'd let you
Get away that easily, did you?
349
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:22,804
I've got a little bubbly for us.
350
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,473
Jack: oh.
351
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:28,132
Oh... I see you're already
Having a nightcap.
352
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:31,213
Or two.
353
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:36,285
Lana... This is janet and...
354
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,669
- chrissy!
- chrissy,
Yes, chrissy.
355
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:44,393
I see you girls enjoy a
Good challenge, too, huh?
356
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,362
A challenge?
357
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,786
It's an amusing story.
358
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,489
Don't you mean a gay one?
359
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,371
- janet: what?
- look, girls,
360
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:57,540
My meter is still running
361
00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,964
And I would appreciate your
Getting your jollies on your own time.
362
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,133
That's only fair.
363
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,671
Huh?
364
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:10,653
What's she talking about?
365
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:14,423
Girls, I'm gonna straighten
This out right now.
366
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:18,549
I have been lana's paid escort
For the past two nights.
367
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,198
A paid escort?
368
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,733
A lonely woman comes into town,
369
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,402
She doesn't wanna go out alone
370
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:30,060
So she calls up...
You're a call boy?
371
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,611
Lana, this is janet
And chrissy...
372
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:37,613
They're my real roommates.
373
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,082
- what?
- and larry's just
A friend...
374
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:42,884
And I'm not gay and he's
Not gay and I'm not an escort
375
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,209
And I'm going to get
Myself a tuna fish sandwich!
376
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:49,280
That's perfect for
You. Chicken of the sea!
377
00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:54,217
Now, let me zip through this.
378
00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:58,199
Jack's not gay, but
The three of you
379
00:20:58,223 --> 00:20:59,968
Live together?
380
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:02,237
- two different bedrooms.
- oh, yes.
381
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,595
Who's the lucky girl?
382
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:06,975
Oh, no.
383
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:09,377
This is a very respectable
And innocent relationship.
384
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:11,980
Oh, you're the unlucky one.
385
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,538
No, we're both unlucky.
386
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,520
Oh, sure, sure.
387
00:21:18,544 --> 00:21:21,023
Listen girls, I'm not
Putting down your set-up,
388
00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:23,113
I'd just like to get in on it.
389
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,930
I'm glad to see you're having
Friendly, get-acquainted chat.
390
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:32,233
Yes, it's all been a very
Memorable experience.
391
00:21:32,257 --> 00:21:35,497
But I think I will
Call it a night.
392
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,263
- bye.
- bye.
393
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:47,015
Jack tripper... A paid escort?
394
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:49,017
I don't believe it.
395
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:50,719
How could you?
396
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:52,788
I needed some money fast.
397
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,456
It's all your fault.
398
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:55,891
Both: our fault?
399
00:21:55,915 --> 00:21:57,726
If you hadn't bought
That expensive present,
400
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,628
I wouldn't have needed
Money to buy you something.
401
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:00,896
What present?
402
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,230
The one under your bed,
403
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,466
To the "Cutest and craziest."
404
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,568
Jack, that's for the purcells.
405
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:08,959
It's their 3rd
Wedding anniversary.
406
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:15,076
Oh no, I thought it was
For our anniversary.
407
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:18,714
- janet: hmm-mm.
- I sold myself
For nothing.
408
00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:21,171
I'm so ashamed!
409
00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:27,111
Poor jack!
410
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:32,983
How sweet.
411
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,264
- jack...
- you did it
All for us.
412
00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:41,469
We're the ones who
Should be ashamed.
413
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:44,128
Oh, jack, how can we
Ever make it up to you?
414
00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:47,104
Take me, I'm already paid for!
415
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:52,269
Girls, girls... Hang on...!
416
00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:02,124
Jack: here we go, ladies.
417
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:04,192
Champagne, compliments of lana.
418
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,194
Happy 3rd anniversary!
419
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,629
- cheers!
- here's to us!
420
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,431
Lana!
421
00:23:10,455 --> 00:23:13,468
Forgive me for
Barging in, but...
422
00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:16,038
Are you through
With my ice bucket?
423
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:18,907
Oh, sure. Here it is. Thank you.
424
00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:22,077
I've been looking high
And low for an apartment.
425
00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:24,613
That hotel is such a drag.
426
00:23:24,637 --> 00:23:26,615
What a shame.
427
00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:28,617
The apartment next door
Was for rent yesterday
428
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:30,719
But they just
Took the sign down.
429
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,754
I sure did!
430
00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:36,580
We're going to be
Such good neighbors!
431
00:23:38,651 --> 00:23:40,584
Vroom! Vroom!
432
00:23:43,288 --> 00:23:46,090
You'll be seeing more of me.
433
00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:27,976
Ritter's voice: three's
Company was videotaped
434
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,880
in front of a studio audience.
31780
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