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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:06,505 -♪ what would you do If I sang out of tune? ♪ 2 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:11,276 ♪ would you stand up And walk out on me? ♪ 3 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:17,515 ♪ lend me your ears, And I'll sing you a song ♪ 4 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:21,018 ♪ I will try not to sing Out of key, yeah ♪ 5 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:25,190 ♪ oh, baby, I get by ♪ -♪ by with a little help From my friends ♪ 6 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,691 -♪ all I need is my buddies ♪ 7 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,728 -♪ high with a little help From my friends ♪ 8 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:35,099 -♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ -♪ try with a little help From my friends ♪ 9 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,567 -♪ whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪ 10 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,235 -♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:38,237 --> 00:00:42,641 -♪ somebody who knows Quite sure ♪ 12 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:43,908 ♪ baby ♪ 13 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,644 -♪ by with a little help From my friends ♪ 14 00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,679 -♪ said I'm gonna make it With my friends ♪ 15 00:00:48,681 --> 00:00:51,750 -♪ try with a little help From my friends ♪ 16 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,885 -♪ oh, I'm gonna Keep on trying ♪ 17 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,454 -♪ high with a little help From my friends ♪ 18 00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,957 ♪ I'm gonna keep on trying now, Baby ♪ 19 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:04,295 -♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 20 00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:06,397 [ "The first noel" plays ] 21 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:09,367 -when you're a kid, it's simple. 22 00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:12,203 christmas is magic. 23 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,473 it's a time of miracles, 24 00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:20,011 when reindeer can fly and frosty never melts. 25 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,016 then you get older. 26 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:28,286 somehow, things change. 27 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:31,789 the magic begins to fade... 28 00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:34,392 until something happens that reminds you, 29 00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:35,893 at christmastime... 30 00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,061 [ whistle blows ] 31 00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:38,696 ...Miracles still Can be found... 32 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:40,232 -happy holidays, men. 33 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:43,568 -...Sometimes in the most unexpected places. 34 00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:49,040 -in my grasp is a message From richard milhous nixon. 35 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:54,111 Gentlemen, our chief executive Has entrusted me, 36 00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:56,281 As a physical educator, 37 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:59,150 To make sure you men Are performing 38 00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:04,188 At or above The national average. 39 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,423 [ smack ] 40 00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:08,492 The president's all-american Physical fitness challenge. 41 00:02:08,494 --> 00:02:09,827 [ young men murmuring ] 42 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,362 I guess I don't have to tell you 43 00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:14,832 This is an awesome Responsibility, do I? 44 00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:15,900 Arnold? 45 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,338 -uh...Yes, sir. 46 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,206 You don't... 47 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,109 H-have to tell us. 48 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,311 -I didn't think so. 49 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,847 -by december of 1970, 50 00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:33,084 it was pretty clear christmas meant nothing to coach cutlip. 51 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:37,522 while most human beings were brimming with yuletide cheer, 52 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:38,923 he was brimming with... 53 00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,292 -chin-ups. Sit-ups. The shuttle run. 54 00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,528 [ chalk tapping ] Various calisthenics. 55 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,696 And, of course... 56 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,966 [ tapping continues ] The rope climb. 57 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,234 -face it -- 58 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,803 the guy was scrooge in a baseball cap. 59 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,304 -ah-choo! 60 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:55,706 Scusi. 61 00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:57,642 Okay, now. 62 00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,077 Who wants to start? 63 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,945 [ whistle blows ] 64 00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,181 [ "Sleigh ride" plays ] 65 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,853 -not that it was anything new to us. 66 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,222 the pain, the exhaustion, the humiliation. 67 00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:14,425 it was something we'd come to expect from the guy. 68 00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:18,530 -come on, doug, push. 69 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,131 -still, that year, 70 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,732 a new thought was forming 71 00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,368 in our collective ninth-grade mind. 72 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,802 -cutlip's a raving lunatic! 73 00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:26,971 -he has absolutely No christmas spirit. 74 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,908 -he makes us dust the floor in Front of the girls' gym class. 75 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,777 And doug with his underwear Hangin' out. 76 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,579 -my underwear was showing? 77 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,781 -somebody ought to do Something to that guy. 78 00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,549 -hey, don't get me involved With this. 79 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,551 I got to play basketball For the guy. 80 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,354 -it seemed paul was about the only one of my colleagues 81 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,955 who had a real sense of reality. 82 00:03:44,957 --> 00:03:48,426 -what I wouldn't give just once To have something over cutlip. 83 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:49,960 -yeah, take him down a peg. 84 00:03:49,962 --> 00:03:51,796 -maybe we should talk to him. 85 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,498 -get real. 86 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,799 -what? 87 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,934 -you can't talk to the guy. 88 00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,504 Cutlip's from another planet. 89 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:00,137 -men. 90 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:03,274 I know what you're thinking. 91 00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:07,478 You're thinking you let me down. 92 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:11,015 Well...Don't give it A second thought. 93 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,384 There's always mañana. 94 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:14,819 -bottom line -- 95 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,088 the guy was completely out of touch with humanity. 96 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,223 -okay, that's it. 97 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,592 I say we kill him. 98 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,894 -but I wasn't gonna let my gym teacher 99 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,996 dampen my christmas spirits. 100 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,397 -there. That wasn't so bad, was it? 101 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,632 -it was fine, mom. 102 00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,234 -if I wanted my spirits dampened, 103 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:33,104 I had a mom who was doing a fine job. 104 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,606 -you know what? -what? 105 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,474 -we should get you A new tie, too. 106 00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,075 -no, mom. 107 00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:39,310 No ties. 108 00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:40,778 I-I got the shoes. Enough's enough. 109 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,413 -kevin?! 110 00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,716 -christmas seemed to trigger mom's biological need 111 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,084 to buy formalwear for her family. 112 00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:48,819 -[ scoffs ] 113 00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:52,056 Dad needs a tie. You should get dad a tie. 114 00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:53,958 Okay? 115 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,727 -well... 116 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,862 Meet me back in five minutes. 117 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,967 -shoes, ties, calisthenics. 118 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,270 it was beginning to seem like the whole world 119 00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:09,440 was adrift in a quagmire of phony holiday spirit. 120 00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,843 it made you wonder -- 121 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,612 what ever happened to the magic? 122 00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:17,415 -ho-ho-ho! Merry christmas! 123 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,316 Step right up here, young lady! 124 00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:24,122 -♪ sleigh bells ring ♪ 125 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,556 ♪ are you listening? ♪ 126 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:28,760 ♪ in the lane, Snow is glistening ♪ 127 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:32,263 ♪ a beautiful sight, We're happy tonight ♪ 128 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:35,200 ♪ walking In a winter wonderland ♪ 129 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,267 ♪ gone away... ♪ 130 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,169 -now, this was more like it. 131 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,171 in its own tacky way, 132 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,608 seeing those kids waiting at that christmas mall display 133 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,110 made me remember what I'd been missing. 134 00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:49,047 -up here, young man! Up on santa. 135 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,714 -♪ ...Build a snowman ♪ 136 00:05:50,716 --> 00:05:53,918 -maybe it was santa's hearty laugh. 137 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,689 maybe I was waxing nostalgic for my simpler youth. 138 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,157 -ho-ho-ho-ho! 139 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,458 So, bobby, tell me, 140 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:04,328 What would you like from santa For christmas, huh? 141 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:07,531 -whatever it was, for the first time in years, 142 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:10,301 saint nick actually seemed familiar to me. 143 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,969 -what's that? 144 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,938 A bike? Slow down, bobby. 145 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,740 Ho-ho-ho-ho. 146 00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:20,044 -like a long-lost uncle who I couldn't quite place. 147 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,779 -ah-choo! 148 00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,581 Scusi. 149 00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,488 -cutlip? 150 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:33,023 -well, every young man Should have -- 151 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,234 -♪ dashing through the snow In a one-horse open sleigh... ♪ 152 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,503 -it was horrible -- worse than horrible. 153 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,204 the whiskers, the bells, the hat -- 154 00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:48,939 -♪ laughing all the way ♪ 155 00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:51,876 -♪ bells on bobtail ring, Making spirits bright ♪ 156 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,712 -kind of a christmas nightmare come true. 157 00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:57,047 -♪ ...Ride and sing A sleighing song tonight ♪ 158 00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:59,550 ♪ oh, jingle bells, Jingle bells ♪ 159 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,653 ♪ jingle all the way ♪ 160 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,688 ♪ oh, what fun it is to ride ♪ 161 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,558 -first time I'd ever seen a teacher outside of school, 162 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,727 and he had a pillow strapped to his stomach. 163 00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:11,663 [ school bell rings ] 164 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,164 the next morning, 165 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,733 I tried to block the terrible image from my head. 166 00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:18,002 I prayed I'd imagined the whole thing. 167 00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,605 -uh, hi. 168 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,207 -morning, arnold. 169 00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:24,576 -mr. Cutlip? 170 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,078 How are you doing today? 171 00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:30,948 -not bad. 172 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,784 -I tried to read his expression. 173 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,487 had he seen me? had I really seen him? 174 00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,156 -yourself? 175 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:43,360 -uh, great. Great. 176 00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:46,497 -any adventures since last time I saw you, arnold? 177 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,099 -no. 178 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:55,873 Well, I did go shopping At the brightlin mall. 179 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,675 -brightlin mall? 180 00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:58,943 -uh-huh. 181 00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:01,813 -never been there myself. 182 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,314 Don't get out that far. 183 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,982 -oh. 184 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,018 [ school bell rings ] 185 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,820 -ah. 186 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,421 See you in gym class, arnold. 187 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,290 -uh, yeah, I'll be there. 188 00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:14,592 -fine. 189 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:16,527 -and then it was over. 190 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:17,962 I'd been mistaken. 191 00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:21,532 suddenly I felt full of holiday cheer again. 192 00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,201 -merry christmas, sir! 193 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,089 -there are few things in life I'll always regret. 194 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,958 this was one of those things. 195 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,096 [ "Santa claus is coming To town" plays as drill song ] 196 00:09:02,374 --> 00:09:04,041 -listen up, men. 197 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,043 Starting today, 198 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,880 Some of you are gonna have to Work a little harder. 199 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,616 -as I sat on that cold parquet floor, 200 00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,285 I felt as if I were on death row. 201 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,253 -we begin... 202 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,189 With the shuttle run. 203 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:22,193 -I knew too much, and I was gonna have to pay the price. 204 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,695 -cornell, you're running first. 205 00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:29,466 Then, porter, you're up next. 206 00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,135 And let's see... 207 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:34,038 Arnold. 208 00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,774 -yes, sir? 209 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,978 -he'd been saving me for last. 210 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:44,148 who knew what kind of torture he had in store for me? 211 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:47,317 grueling sit-ups, excruciating push-ups. 212 00:09:47,319 --> 00:09:48,987 -how 'bout you keep time? 213 00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,688 [ young men murmur ] 214 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,326 -sure. 215 00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:01,666 -okay, the rest of you guys, Up and at 'em. 216 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:09,106 -and that's when I realized -- knowledge was power. 217 00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,442 all of a sudden, christmas had come early. 218 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,944 it was wonderful. 219 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,879 -...Obstacles that you're Going to have to overcome... 220 00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:19,182 -unfortunately, not everyone shared my holiday spirit. 221 00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:20,551 -you're the first one up. 222 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,953 Come on, everybody, Down this end of the gym! 223 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:26,591 [ whistle blows ] Let's go! 224 00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,526 Let's go! Move it! 225 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,861 [ whistle blows ] 226 00:10:32,998 --> 00:10:34,765 -the next couple days in gym class, 227 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,400 my popularity was... 228 00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,535 -hey, guys. 229 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,170 Hey! 230 00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:41,906 -teacher's pet. 231 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:45,743 -...Not exactly at an all-time high. 232 00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,945 -we should just call you "Cutlip-in-training." 233 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,814 -oh, come on, guys, It's not like that. 234 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,215 -oh, yeah? 235 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,583 -I'm one of you. 236 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,585 -pistachio, arnold? 237 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,420 Red ones. [ rattling ] 238 00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,689 -uh... 239 00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:03,094 Sure. 240 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,796 -keep the whole bag. 241 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,601 -one of us, huh? 242 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,074 -seemed pretty clear something had to be done. 243 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:18,743 -mr. Cutlip? 244 00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:20,644 -[ humming "Deck the halls" ] 245 00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:22,746 -mr. Cutlip? 246 00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:25,349 Can I talk to you? 247 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,685 It's important. 248 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,361 -in here. 249 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,500 Shoot. 250 00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:45,136 -well... 251 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,905 I think we might have A little misunderstanding. 252 00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:51,042 -no misunderstanding. None at all. 253 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,909 -well... 254 00:11:52,911 --> 00:11:57,080 I just want you to know that, Even though I saw you as -- 255 00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,851 Well...You know. 256 00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,026 -I appreciate You coming to me, arnold. 257 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,293 -you do? 258 00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:12,363 -because I wanted To give you these. 259 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,897 Passes... 260 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,033 To get out of gym. 261 00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:18,335 You're excused from The president's challenge. 262 00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:20,103 -mr. Cutlip -- 263 00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:21,906 -call me ed. 264 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,074 -listen...Sir, 265 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,311 I really don't want to Get out of gym. 266 00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,181 -playing hardball, huh? 267 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,416 -what? 268 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,820 -I'm on to your game now. 269 00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:38,823 I've played a little ball In my life, too. 270 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,224 Capiche? 271 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,025 -uh, mr. Cutlip, I -- 272 00:12:42,027 --> 00:12:44,194 -say no more, arnold. 273 00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:47,531 [ school bell rings ] 274 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,900 Looks like it's class time For both of us. 275 00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:56,240 -things were spiraling out of control. 276 00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:59,009 there was no telling what a volatile guy like cutlip 277 00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:01,011 might do next. 278 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,688 -your wrist hurt From holding the stopwatch? 279 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:17,795 -the walls were pushing in all around me. 280 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,597 -doug, this isn't my fault. 281 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:22,332 -yeah, right. 282 00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:23,634 -this is ridiculous. 283 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,903 Just 'cause I saw cutlip Working at the brightlin mall -- 284 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,137 -you what?! 285 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,438 -uh-oh. 286 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,607 -forget it. 287 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,942 -you saw cutlip in the mall? 288 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,744 -yeah, And now my life's ruined. 289 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,812 You happy? 290 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,714 -you kevin arnold? 291 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:43,321 -there it was -- my summons to destiny. 292 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,223 it was time to face... 293 00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:47,925 my executioner. 294 00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:50,627 [ knock on door ] 295 00:13:53,699 --> 00:13:55,833 -sit down, arnold. 296 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,501 I have something for you. 297 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,702 -okay. 298 00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:01,605 -he was probably reaching for a weapon, a gun. 299 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,842 -fruitcake. I picked it up at the mall. 300 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,578 20% employees' discount. 301 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,313 -a fruitcake? 302 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:13,884 -just one of the many reasons I took the job... 303 00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:18,055 As...Santa. 304 00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:20,825 You know, arnold, 305 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:24,795 To a man who's devoted his life To public education, 306 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:28,699 The opportunity to buy wholesale Is nothing to laugh at. 307 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,035 [ laughs ] 308 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:36,040 But I don't need to tell you That, do I? 309 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,708 -no. 310 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,277 I don't think so. 311 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:42,980 May I go now? 312 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,882 -there's another reason. 313 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,183 -there is? 314 00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,018 -esther cutlip. 315 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,320 My mother. 316 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,589 The woman is a saint. 317 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,124 -uh-huh. 318 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,792 -I found myself hoping for the school bell to ring, 319 00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:57,861 the sound of the buses pulling up, 320 00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:59,763 anything to get out of there. 321 00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,698 -if it weren't for my support, 322 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,667 There's no telling The catatonic state 323 00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:06,337 The woman might fall into. 324 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,273 -that's nice, sir. 325 00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:12,709 -tell me something, arnold. 326 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:16,447 You ever been Inside a santa outfit? 327 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,648 -oh, my god. 328 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,049 we were crossing a line 329 00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,819 teachers and students were never supposed to cross. 330 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,053 it was horrifying. 331 00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:25,122 -it's hot and it's sweaty -- 332 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,557 -look, mr. Cutlip? 333 00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,793 I don't really want to know What it's like. 334 00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,494 Your discounts, your fruitcake, Your mother -- 335 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,029 That's none Of my business, okay? 336 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,365 I'm not gonna tell anyone About you being santa, 337 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,766 So let's just forget it. 338 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,935 Okay? It's forgotten. 339 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,071 Please. 340 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,605 -arnold... 341 00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:47,944 Kids like me when I'm santa. 342 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,716 -and right then, 343 00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,419 for the first time, as I looked at the man, 344 00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:57,888 I actually saw a human being -- 345 00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,556 not a great human being, 346 00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:02,560 maybe not even a good human being -- 347 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,795 but a very lonely human being. 348 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,534 -your secret's safe With me, mr. Cutlip. 349 00:16:19,077 --> 00:16:20,411 [ door closes ] 350 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,179 -I headed home, feeling pretty good 351 00:16:23,181 --> 00:16:26,250 about not having spilled the beans... 352 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:30,888 until I remembered the beans had already been spilled. 353 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:33,991 -doug, you can't tell anybody What I told you before. 354 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,660 -oh. Okay. 355 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,597 -you didn't, did you? 356 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,665 -well... 357 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,934 Only randy. 358 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:48,672 -so, um, what exactly Does cutlip do at the mall? 359 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,775 -forget it. 360 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,443 -does he sell orange julius? 361 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,346 -you got to tell us Where he works, kev. 362 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,148 -no way! -well, we've got eyes. 363 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,416 We'll, uh, we'll just go Find out for ourself. 364 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:01,952 -holy cow, these guys were serious. 365 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:05,622 the vultures were circling, and it was all my fault. 366 00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:09,727 and right there, right then, I knew what I had to do. 367 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,995 [ vacuum cleaner whirring ] -mom? Mom! 368 00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,133 I need a ride to the mall. 369 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:19,703 -oh, sorry, honey, I was Just about to start dinner. 370 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,071 -I needed a plan -- 371 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:24,074 something foolproof, something mom-proof. 372 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,909 -I want to get that tie. 373 00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,381 [ "Frosty the snowman" plays ] 374 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,049 -I hope they still have The paisley. 375 00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:36,587 -mom, can we split up For a little while? 376 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:40,457 -only after we get the tie. 377 00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:43,326 [ indistinct talking ] 378 00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:47,931 -but I knew cutlip's lynch mob would wait for no neckwear. 379 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,737 -kevin? 380 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,039 -there was no time to lose. 381 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:58,341 I had to beat those guys to center court, 382 00:17:58,343 --> 00:17:59,910 no matter what the obstacles. 383 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,212 -oof! 384 00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:04,014 [ train bell dings ] 385 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,316 [ train whistle blows ] 386 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:14,325 -hey, hey, hey! Got to wait your turn. 387 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,627 -yeah, but this is important. I know him! 388 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,695 -that's what they all say. 389 00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:18,996 -you're a fine boy. 390 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,999 Santa's going to give you Whatever you want. 391 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,500 Ho-ho-ho! 392 00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:25,268 -mommy! Anything I want! 393 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,170 -arnold. 394 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,673 -♪ gone away is the bluebird ♪ 395 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:30,608 -what are you doing here? 396 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,243 -well...I-I -- 397 00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:34,477 -you're not gonna sit On my lap, are you? 398 00:18:34,479 --> 00:18:36,213 -no. -good. 399 00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:37,247 You'd be too old. You realize that? 400 00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:37,948 -yeah. 401 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,449 Mr. Cutlip, I -- -shh! 402 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,319 Call me santa! 403 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:45,189 -I came to say I'm sorry. 404 00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:47,024 -sorry? -yeah. 405 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,394 There's a bunch of guys from Class coming to look for you. 406 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,229 [ train whistle blows ] 407 00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,932 I kind of let it slip About you working at the mall. 408 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,733 -you didn't. 409 00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,401 -so you probably should hide out In your shack 410 00:18:58,403 --> 00:18:59,703 Till this whole thing Blows over. 411 00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:04,808 -♪ ...Conspire As we dream by the fire ♪ 412 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,176 [ indistinct talking ] 413 00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:10,080 -here they came, the hounds to the kill. 414 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,419 there was only one option -- head for the chimney. 415 00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:17,888 -no can do, arnold. 416 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,323 -what? 417 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,893 -let them come if they must. 418 00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:28,732 I am who I am. 419 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,368 -♪ hallelujah! ♪ 420 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:32,869 ♪ hallelujah! ♪ 421 00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,037 ♪ hallelujah! ♪ 422 00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,873 ♪ hallelujah! ♪ 423 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,808 -I'll always remember that look on his face. 424 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:42,145 he was at once heroic and stupid. 425 00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:43,046 -♪ hallelujah! ♪ 426 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,982 ♪ hallelujah! ♪ 427 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,350 -move along, arnold. 428 00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:48,652 -♪ for the lord god... ♪ 429 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,888 -there was nothing more I could do. 430 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:54,824 the die was cast. it was santa's last stand. 431 00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,793 -♪ hallelujah! ♪ 432 00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:58,128 ♪ for the lord... ♪ 433 00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,530 -it's arnold! Come on! 434 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,066 [ train whistle blows ] 435 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,034 -look, guys -- -where is he, kev? 436 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,168 Might as well tell us. 437 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:06,769 -forget it! 438 00:20:06,771 --> 00:20:09,206 -fine. We're just gonna have to Find him ourselves. 439 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,475 Come on, guys, split up. 440 00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:15,445 -I stood there, helpless, outnumbered. 441 00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:17,547 and that's when it happened. 442 00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:22,486 doug porter looked first, 443 00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,787 directly into the eyes of the man 444 00:20:24,789 --> 00:20:27,790 who'd taught him gym for three long years. 445 00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:37,534 then tommy kisling looked, too, and randy mitchell. 446 00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:42,372 those three skeptics gazed straight at that white beard, 447 00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:44,474 dead into the eyes of coach cutlip 448 00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,342 not 30 feet away. 449 00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:54,785 but all that they saw... 450 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,754 was santa claus. 451 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:07,698 -come on, guys. Let's keep looking. 452 00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:14,771 -it was a miracle. 453 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,274 he stood there like some patron saint 454 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:21,978 of all the lonely people holidays sometimes forget. 455 00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:26,149 -♪ silent night ♪ 456 00:21:26,151 --> 00:21:30,187 ♪ holy night ♪ 457 00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:34,724 ♪ all is calm ♪ 458 00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:39,196 ♪ all is bright ♪ 459 00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:42,732 -all right. Who's next to see santa? 460 00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:45,769 -and for that brief moment of christmas magic, 461 00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:49,873 ed cutlip got his chance to be what he always wanted. 462 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,074 -your brother's here? 463 00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,609 Well, bring him up At the same time. 464 00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:54,344 I'll talk to both of you At the same time. 465 00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:57,314 What a fine-looking family You come from. 466 00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:05,922 -♪ sleep in heavenly peace ♪ 467 00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:13,564 ♪ sleep in heavenly peace ♪ 468 00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:18,134 -and I never gave him away. 469 00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:24,875 -♪ holy night ♪ 470 00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:27,911 -ho-ho-ho! Merry christmas! 471 00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:32,115 -♪ all is bright ♪ 472 00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:35,084 ♪ 'round yon... ♪ 34049