Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:02,703
[ARGUING]
2
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,105
ONE AT A TIME.
3
00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:06,240
DON'T ALL TALK
AT ONE TIME.
4
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,018
[HONK]
5
00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,856
THANK YOU.
6
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:25,559
NOW, WE HAVE
A WEEK'S VACATION.
7
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,496
ONE AT A TIME,
WHERE SHOULD WE GO?
8
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:32,900
LET'S GO TO NEW YORK
AND TAKE IN SOME THEATER.
9
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,636
I WANT TO GO
LIE ON THE BEACH.
10
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,806
YOU KNOW, CATCH SOME RAYS,
CATCH SOME Zs,
11
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,041
CATCH A MAN
AROUND HIS KNEES.
12
00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:42,210
HA HA!
13
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,977
LET'S GO
TO DISNEY WORLD.
14
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,847
WE SHOULD PAY
OUR RESPECTS TO ELVIS.
15
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,683
LET'S BOOGIE ON DOWN
TO GRACELAND.
16
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,219
GO AHEAD.
17
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:55,055
LET'S BE REALISTIC.
WE ONLY HAVE A WEEK.
18
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:57,191
I'M NOT SPENDING
HALF OF IT IN A CAR,
19
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,293
PICKING CHEETOS
OFF MY LAP.
20
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,562
WELL, WHERE DO
YOU WANT TO GO?
21
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,164
LAKE GENEVA.
22
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:04,798
LIKE IN SWITZERLAND?
23
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,234
NO, LIKE IN WISCONSIN.
24
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,302
WE CAN RENT
A NICE CABIN,
25
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:10,571
DO SOME FISHING,
SOME RELAXING.
26
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:11,872
HEY, IT'S PERFECT.
27
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,575
YOU MEAN
IT'S CHEAPER.
28
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:15,909
WELL, THAT, TOO.
29
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,511
SO LAKE GENEVA
IT IS, RIGHT?
30
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,514
[ARGUING]
31
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,650
[HONK]
32
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,185
THANK YOU.
33
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:25,453
NOW, PEOPLE,
34
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,156
ARGUING IS NOT THE WAY
TO SETTLE THINGS
35
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,757
IN THIS FAMILY, RIGHT?
36
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,091
RIGHT.
RIGHT.
37
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,060
SO WE'LL LISTEN,
BE CONSIDERATE,
38
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:34,295
AND AGREE ON A PLACE
39
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,264
THAT MAKES
EVERYBODY HAPPY, RIGHT?
40
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,765
RIGHT.
RIGHT.
41
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,733
SO LAKE GENEVA IT IS.
42
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,236
[ARGUING]
43
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,814
* IT'S A RARE CONDITION *
44
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:55,549
* IN THIS DAY AND AGE *
45
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,852
* TO READ ANY GOOD NEWS
ON THE NEWSPAPER PAGE *
46
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:02,290
* AND LOVE AND TRADITION
OF THE GRAND DESIGN *
47
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:06,560
* SOME PEOPLE SAY
IS EVEN HARDER TO FIND *
48
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:10,097
* WELL, THEN, THERE MUST BE
SOME MAGIC CLUE *
49
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:14,268
* INSIDE THESE GENTLE WALLS *
50
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:17,871
* 'CAUSE ALL I SEE
IS A TOWER OF DREAMS *
51
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:21,642
* REAL LOVE BURSTIN'
OUT OF EVERY SEAM *
52
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,713
* AS DAYS GO BY *
53
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:30,083
* WE'RE GONNA FILL OUR HOUSE
WITH HAPPINESS *
54
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,653
* THE MOON MAY CRY *
55
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,490
* WE'RE GONNA SMOTHER
THE BLUES WITH TENDERNESS.*
56
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,493
* WHEN DAYS GO BY *
57
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,197
* THERE'S ROOM FOR YOU,
ROOM FOR ME *
58
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:47,468
* FOR GENTLE HEARTS AN
OPPORTUNITY *
59
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:50,738
* AS DAYS GO BY *
60
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:55,276
* IT'S THE BIGGER LOVE
OF THE FAMILY *
61
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,561
YOU'RE INVITING
HARVEY GARVEY?
62
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:14,628
WHY NOT?
63
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,298
WELL, FOR ONE THING,
HE ONLY HAS FOUR TEETH.
64
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,335
YEAH, BUT HE
DOESN'T EAT MUCH.
65
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:24,505
HI, LADIES.
66
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,707
HOW GOES
THE PARTY PLANNING?
67
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,041
GREAT.
GREAT.
68
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,443
HAVING IT
ON YOUR ROOF?
69
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,411
YEAH.
70
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,713
HOW DID YOU TALK
YOUR PARENTS INTO IT?
71
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,081
THEY GOT NEW CARPET.
72
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,983
THEY BEGGED ME
TO HAVE IT UP THERE.
73
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:40,288
MAXINE,
SWEETHEART,
74
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,823
I'M GLAD I'M
CATERING YOUR PARTY,
75
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,460
BUT WITHOUT MORE MONEY, I'LL
HAVE TO USE GENERIC CHIPS
76
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,296
AND WATER DOWN
THE PUNCH.
77
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,299
NO PROBLEM.
78
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:54,735
GREAT.
79
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,870
I'LL JUST TAKE THE PROFIT
FROM THIS JOB
80
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,739
AND BUY A STAMP.
81
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,443
[STEREO PLAYING LOUD MUSIC]
82
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:23,631
HEY, YOU'RE LATE.
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
83
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:26,734
I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING
TO WEAR. I LOOK HIDEOUS.
84
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,136
YOU LOOK FABULOUS.
I LOOK HIDEOUS.
85
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,338
NO, YOU LOOK FABULOUS.
86
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:31,472
I LOVE YOUR HAIR.
87
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,541
I LOVE YOUR HAIR.
MINE'S HIDEOUS.
88
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,746
FELLAS,
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
89
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,748
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
90
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,351
YOU INVITED
WILLIE AND WALDO?
91
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,152
NO. THEY CRASHED.
92
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,520
ISN'T THAT EXCITING?
93
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,989
PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY
CRASHING MY PARTY.
94
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,858
MAX, GET A GRIP.
95
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,795
* GO AHEAD *
96
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:55,996
* GO AHEAD *
97
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,197
* GO AHEAD *
98
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,432
* I'M GONE *
99
00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,500
* I'M GONE *
100
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:01,335
* I'M GONE *
101
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,939
OOH, LORD. THERE'S
HARVEY GARVEY.
102
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,376
HI, LAURA.
103
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,179
[LAUGHING]
104
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,048
HI, GUYS.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
105
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,116
UH, NOTHING.
106
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,217
NOTHING.
107
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,719
DOES ANYBODY
WANT TO DANCE?
108
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,254
HEY, HEY, HEY.
MAYBE LATER.
109
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,390
WE'RE DOING
SOMETHING.
110
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,958
RIGHT, GUYS?
111
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:28,328
WHAT ARE WE DOING,
WILLIE?
112
00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,464
WE'RE TRYING TO DECIDE
WHAT WE WANT TO DRINK.
113
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,065
YOU DON'T LIKE PUNCH?
114
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,300
SURE,
115
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,403
ESPECIALLY WHEN
IT'S SPIKED.
116
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,508
HERE.
HAVE SOME RUM.
117
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,843
NO! WALDO, WHERE'D
YOU GET THOSE?
118
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,445
MY DAD'S A STEWARDESS.
119
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,248
DRINKING
IS FOR LOSERS.
120
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,517
OH, REALLY?
121
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,852
HEY, WALDO, SAY HELLO
TO ST. LAURA.
122
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,022
THAT'S LAURA WINSLOW.
123
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,661
HEY, A PARTY!
124
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,068
TAKE YOUR BOTTLES AND YOUR
BEHIND OUT OF HERE.
125
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,302
HEY, IF I LEAVE,
126
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,939
I TAKE THE BOOZE
AND THE BOYS WITH ME.
127
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,241
YEAH.
128
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,275
RIGHT, GUYS?
129
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,710
YEAH.
YEAH.
130
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:21,248
LAURA, IF YOU DON'T
WANT TO DRINK, FINE,
131
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,950
BUT SHUT UP ABOUT IT.
132
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,384
YOU'LL RUIN MY PARTY.
133
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:25,853
FINE...
134
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,657
BUT I DON'T NEED TO DRINK
TO HAVE A GOOD TIME!
135
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:45,973
LAURA, RELAX.
SO SOME GUYS DRANK.
136
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,374
BIG DEAL.
137
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:48,909
WELL...
138
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,243
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
139
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,379
NOTHING TERRIBLE
HAS HAPPENED.
140
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,915
EVERYBODY PARTY!
141
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,352
YOU SPOKE TOO SOON.
142
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,789
GREETINGS, HOSTESSES
WITH THE MOSTESSES.
143
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:05,993
WOW. YOU HAVE GOT SOME
REAL A-LIST PEOPLE HERE.
144
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,795
HEY, HARVE!
145
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,000
WE GOT TO
LIVEN THIS PLACE UP.
146
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,668
NOBODY'S DANCING.
147
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,837
HAVE NO FEAR.
THE URK MAN'S HERE.
148
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,473
I'LL HAVE THE NEIGHBORS
COMPLAINING IN NO TIME.
149
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,544
HOWDY, DUDERS.
150
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:26,514
YO, LOOK. IT'S
STEVE THE DWEEB.
151
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:30,283
NOT BAD, FUFFNER.
152
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,553
I'LL BET
YOU WERE UP ALL NIGHT
153
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,387
PUTTING THAT SENTENCE
TOGETHER.
154
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,889
YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED.
155
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:39,359
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN?
BUT NOT TOO HARD.
156
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,094
YOU DON'T WANT
TO CRUSH YOUR BRAIN.
157
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:46,567
WATCH IT, URKEL. THE LAST GUY
WHO TALKED TO ME LIKE THAT
158
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,502
WAS HARVEY GARVEY.
159
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:51,939
OH, YOU TWO GUYS PUT
THE "ICK" IN PATHETIC.
160
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,977
COME ON, GUYS.
THERE'S A BEVY OF BEAUTIES
161
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,613
WAITING TO BE SWEPT OFF
THEIR DR. SCHOLL'S.
162
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,481
WHAT DO YOU SAY,
FUNSTERS?
163
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:05,252
LET'S DANCE.
164
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,590
WELL, OKAY,
I'LL BREAK THE ICE.
165
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,460
HARVE,
CRANK UP THE MUSIC.
166
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,729
IT'S TIME
TO DO THE URKEL.
167
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,568
[MUSIC PLAYS LOUDER]
168
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,570
* NOW IF YOU WANNA DO
THE STEVE URKEL DANCE *
169
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,572
* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
HITCH UP YOUR PANTS *
170
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,273
* BEND YOUR KNEES AND
STICK OUT YOUR PELVIS *
171
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,809
* I'M TELLIN' YOU, BABY,
IT'S BETTER THAN ELVIS *
172
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,619
* DO IT *
173
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,554
* DO IT *
174
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,756
* EVERYBODY *
175
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,625
* DO THE URKEL *
176
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,560
* NOW POINT YOUR FINGERS
UP TO THE SKY *
177
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,862
* AND TALK THROUGH YOUR
NOSE WAY UP HIGH *
178
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,664
* SPIN AND DIP AND
JUMP AND CAVORT AND *
179
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,900
* FINISH IT OFF
WITH A LAUGH AND SNORT *
180
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,868
* HEH HEH HEH [SNORT] *
* HEH HEH HEH [SNORT] *
181
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,937
* HEH HEH HEH HEH
HEH HEH HO HO *
182
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,320
WHAT YOU GOING
TO DO, WILLIE?
183
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,355
I'M GOING TO GET URKEL.
184
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,557
WHY YOU GOING
TO DO THAT, WILLIE?
185
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,460
BECAUSE
HE HUMILIATED ME.
186
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,996
BUT YOU HUMILIATE ME
EVERY DAY.
187
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,531
THAT'S DIFFERENT.
188
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,533
YOU'RE MY FRIEND.
189
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,569
OH, YEAH.
190
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,271
* DO THE URKEL *
191
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:33,573
* DO THE UR-UR-UR-UR-URKEL *
192
00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,575
* DO THE URKEL *
193
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,611
* DO THE UR-UR-UR-UR-URKEL *
194
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,279
* DO IT *
195
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,381
* DO IT *
196
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,416
* EVERYBODY *
197
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:46,620
* DO THE URKEL DANCE *
198
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:54,728
STEVE, STEVE,
STEVE, STEVE.
199
00:09:56,630 --> 00:10:00,634
I'VE DECIDED THAT YOU'RE
JUST TOO SMART FOR ME.
200
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:04,604
I'VE LEARNED I SHOULDN'T
MESS WITH THE URK MAN.
201
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,507
WELL, THIS IS
A PLEASANT TURN OF EVENTS.
202
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,076
TO BE QUITE HONEST,
203
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,511
I'D WRITTEN YOU OFF
AS INCORRIGIBLE.
204
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,313
WHAT DID HE SAY?
205
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,048
HE CALLED YOU
A GERBIL.
206
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,752
COME ON, BUDDY.
207
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:22,189
HOW ABOUT WE MAKE A TOAST
TO OUR NEW FRIENDSHIP?
208
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:27,194
BOY, I'M TRULY MOVED
BY THIS GESTURE.
209
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,762
WORD.
210
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,868
MMM.
211
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,304
WHOA!
212
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,206
WHAT IS THIS, MANGO?
213
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,651
CHEERS!
214
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,957
SKOAL!
215
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,795
HEH HEH HEH!
216
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,771
QUICK, BLAME IT ON
THE WINE WITCH.
217
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,840
HEH HEH HEH HEH!
218
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:18,578
HEY, LOOK A PLANE.
219
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,414
THE PLANE, BOSS THE PLANE.
220
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,257
STEVE.
221
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,658
LAURA.
222
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,862
OH, YOU'RE A SORE
FOR SIGHT EYES.
223
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:39,066
ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
224
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,667
SWELL!
225
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:41,835
PUNCH!
226
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,570
I WANT MORE PUNCH!
227
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,405
ANYONE HAVE
ANY MORE PUNCH?
228
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:46,907
STEVE, CALM DOWN.
229
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,811
HA HA HA HA.
230
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,715
WHY SHOULD I,
LAURA?
231
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,285
I'M THE PIFE
OF THE LARTY!
232
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,854
HA HA HA!
233
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,993
OOH THE DURKEL!
234
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:11,899
WALDO,
WHAT'S WITH STEVE?
235
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,834
HE'S ACTING
WEIRDER THAN USUAL.
236
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,502
WILLIE SAID
NOT TO TELL.
237
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,636
TELL WHAT?
238
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,605
THAT HE SPIKED
URKEL'S PUNCH.
239
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,107
WHAT?
240
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,474
I SAID HE--
241
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,811
HEY, YOU
CAN'T TRICK ME.
242
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:29,016
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
LET'S OOH THE DURKEL.
243
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:37,991
OOH!
244
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,828
[HUMMING]
245
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,731
AAH! WHOO!
246
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,599
HEY!
247
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,767
STEVE!
248
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,503
STEVE! GET DOWN
FROM THERE!
249
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,539
HEY, YOU GOT TO GET UP
250
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,707
BEFORE YOU
CAN GET DOW-OW--
251
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,409
AAH!
AAH!
252
00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:00,280
HELP!
HELP!
253
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,648
STEVE, ARE YOU OKAY?
254
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,417
I'VE FALLEN,
AND I CAN'T GET UP!
255
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,692
HELP!
256
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,461
HELP!
257
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,064
I'VE GOT TO GET TO HIM.
SOMEBODY CALL 911!
258
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,610
HELP!
259
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,379
HELP!
260
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,548
I'M SLIPPING!
261
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,951
STEVE, I'M HERE.
262
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,920
RACHEL, HURRY!
263
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,122
I CAN'T HOLD ON
MUCH LONGER!
264
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:07,347
RACHEL,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
265
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:09,116
TIGHTROPE WALKING.
266
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,684
DO YOU KNOW
HOW TO DO THAT?
267
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,486
NO.
268
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,841
AAH! AAH!
269
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,576
IT'S OKAY, STEVE,
I'M HERE.
270
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:40,347
I KNOW! YOU'RE STANDING
ON MY FINGERS!
271
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,216
SORRY.
272
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,240
OH! OH!
OH! OH!
273
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,577
OH!
OH!
274
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,914
OHH.
OHH.
275
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,254
OKAY, WHERE'S
THE BOOZE?
276
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,923
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
277
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,293
PROBABLY THE BOOZE
IN MY COAT.
278
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,900
IS STEVE OKAY?
279
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,935
YEAH. RACHEL'S
TAKING HIM HOME.
280
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,438
SEE, OFFICER?
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
281
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,307
WE WERE JUST
HAVING A LITTLE FUN.
282
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,875
FUN? STEVE COULD
HAVE BEEN KILLED.
283
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,645
BUT HE WASN'T.
SO CHILL OUT, OKAY?
284
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,982
YOU JUST DON'T GET IT.
285
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,850
YOU THINK IT'S COOL
COMING TO A PARTY
286
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,385
WITH A MINIBAR
IN YOUR COAT?
287
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,654
YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY
TO SPIKE SOMEBODY'S PUNCH
288
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,689
AND WATCH THEM
ACT LIKE A FOOL?
289
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,458
WELL, IT'S NOT COOL.
290
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,527
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
IT'S DANGEROUS.
291
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:05,132
IT'S ALSO
AGAINST THE LAW.
292
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,000
WHERE WE GOING,
WILLIE?
293
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:09,569
JAIL, I GUESS.
294
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,139
JUVENILE HALL UNTIL YOUR PARENTS
PICK YOU UP.
295
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,606
WE GET
A PHONE CALL?
296
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,209
ONE CALL.
297
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,411
CAN IT BE A 976 NUMBER?
298
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,225
IT'S CONFIRMED--
299
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:35,695
SIX DAYS AND FIVE NIGHTS
AT LAKE GENEVA.
300
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,198
CARL WILL BE HAPPY.
301
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:41,368
I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL HIM
THE GOOD NEWS.
302
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,538
HI, SWEETIE.
HI, MA.
303
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:46,806
HI, HONEY.
304
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,041
OH, CARL,
305
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,110
WE'VE DECIDED WHERE
TO GO ON OUR VACATION.
306
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,082
OH, YOU HAVE, HAVE YOU?
307
00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:02,089
I COME HOME FROM A HARD DAY
OF FIGHTING CRIME,
308
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,391
AND DO I HEAR,
"HI, CARL.
309
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,526
COULD I GET YOU
SOME TRAIL MIX?"
310
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,929
NO, I DO NOT.
311
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:14,201
WELL, I GUESS MY VOTE DOESN'T
COUNT AROUND HERE,
312
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,369
BUT MAY I
REMIND YOU TWO
313
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:20,740
THAT I BRING HOME
DARN CLOSE TO 50%
314
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,275
OF THIS FAMILY'S
BACON?
315
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,677
AND YOU EAT
DARN CLOSE TO 90%.
316
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:31,151
WELL, THANK YOU FOR THOSE KIND
WORDS, MOTHER.
317
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,653
BUT I'M MERELY
TRYING TO POINT OUT
318
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,657
THAT WHENEVER VACATION TIME
ROLLS AROUND...
319
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,828
MY DESIRES,
320
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,863
MY WISHES,
321
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,666
ARE NEVER
EVEN CONSIDERED.
322
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,000
CARL--
AND WHY?
323
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,171
BECAUSE I DON'T MATTER,
DO I, HARRIETTE?
324
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:55,142
I DON'T MATTER.
ONCE, JUST ONCE,
325
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,244
CAN WE GO WHERE
I'D LIKE TO GO?
326
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:01,848
ALL I'M ASKING FOR IS
ONE MEASLY, LITTLE WEEK
327
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,218
AT ONE MEASLY,
LITTLE LAKE.
328
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,253
BUT THAT'S
TOO MUCH.
329
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,687
CARL!
WHAT?
330
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:08,988
CORK IT!
331
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:11,524
WE ALREADY MADE
A RESERVATION.
332
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,726
YOU ALREADY MADE
A RESERVATION.
333
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,096
TYPICAL.
334
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:19,366
WELL, LET'S SEE
WHAT HELLHOLE
335
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,834
YOU'RE DRAGGING
ME TO THIS TIME.
336
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,573
LAKE GENEVA?
337
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:29,976
YES.
338
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:33,045
WE ALL DECIDED
THAT IT WOULD BE NICE
339
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,983
IF FOR ONCE WE WENT
WHERE YOU WANTED TO GO.
340
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,118
WELL...
341
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:41,020
GEE, THANKS, GUYS.
342
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,555
THAT'S SWELL.
343
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:48,060
ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU'VE ALWAYS
BEEN SO GRACIOUS
344
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,463
ABOUT NOT GETTING
YOUR OWN WAY.
345
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,501
WELL, THAT'S JUST
THE KIND OF GUY I AM.
346
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:04,444
I THINK I'L GO TO THE KITCHEN
AND MAKE US ALL SOME TRAIL MIX.
347
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:33,172
MY WHOLE BODY HURTS.
348
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,575
EVEN MY EYELASHES HURT.
349
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,278
AND I THINK MY TONGUE
NEED A SHAVE.
350
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,215
OH, BUCK UP STEVE.
351
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,784
I AM FIXING YOU
A SURE-FIRE HANGOVER REMEDY.
352
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,554
THIS WILL EITHER KILL YOU,
OR KILL YOU.
353
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,223
EITHER WAY, I'LL BE BETTER OFF.
354
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,159
[BLENDER ROARS]
355
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,494
AAH!
356
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,996
AAH! AAH!
OH! OH!
357
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,766
SORRY.
358
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,268
OHH.
359
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:05,071
STEVE,
YOU HAVE MY SYMPATHY.
360
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,506
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
361
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,576
REALLY? TELL ME
ABOUT IT, CARL.
362
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:10,643
WELL--
363
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:11,944
QUIETLY.
364
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:16,616
THE NIGHT I GRADUATED FROM
THE POLICE ACADEMY,
365
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:19,419
ME AND MY BUDDIES
DECIDED TO TIE ONE ON.
366
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,688
WELL, MOST OF
THE NIGHT IS A BLUR,
367
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,356
BUT DAWN FOUND ME
368
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,725
RIDING A COW DOWN
THE DAN RYAN EXPRESSWAY.
369
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,796
HEH HEH--OW!
HEH HEH--OW!
370
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:30,863
[SNORT]
371
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:31,931
OHH.
372
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,836
NEVER SNORT
WITH A HANGOVER.
373
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:40,473
I JUST BLEW MY ADENOIDS
OUT THE BACK OF MY HEAD.
374
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:43,610
AS GOD
IS MY WITNESS,
375
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:46,012
LIQUOR WILL NEVER TOUCH
THESE LIPS AGAIN.
376
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,514
WELL, GOOD FOR YOU,
STEVE.
377
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,416
HERE, CHUG THIS DOWN.
378
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:54,687
WELL, I DON'T KNOW,
CARL.
379
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,222
IT SMELLS RANCID.
380
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,590
WELL, THAT MEANS
IT'S READY.
381
00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:59,759
GO AHEAD.
DOWN THE HATCH.
382
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,304
THAT'S IT.
383
00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:12,805
GO AHEAD.
384
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:13,940
YEAH.
385
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,476
ALRIGHT.
386
00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:18,478
NOW, WHAT'S
THE VERDICT?
387
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,515
HEY, NOT BAD.
388
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:25,785
RATHER TASTY.
389
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:29,656
I THINK
IT DID THE TRICK.
390
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:35,528
UH-OH.
391
00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:37,530
STEVE,
WHAT'S WRONG?
392
00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:39,532
I THINK IT JUST
DID ANOTHER TRICK.
393
00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:42,034
I BETTER VISIT
THE FACILITIES QUICKLY.
394
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:48,040
SORRY, LAURA,
NO TIME TO TALK!
395
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,384
IT'S TIME
TO DO THE URKEL.
396
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:03,890
* IF YOU WANNA DO
THE STEVE URKEL DANCE *
397
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:06,393
* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS HITCH UP YOUR PANTS *
398
00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:08,094
* BEND YOUR KNEES AND
STICK OUT YOUR PELVIS *
399
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,830
* I'M TELLING YOU, BABY,
IT'S BETTER THAN ELVIS *
400
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,473
* DO IT *
401
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:22,208
* DO IT *
402
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:24,511
* EVERYBODY *
403
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,613
* DO THE URKEL
DANCE *
404
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,347
* POINT YOUR FINGERS
UP TO THE SKY *
405
00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:30,650
* AND TALK THROUGH
YOUR NOSE WAY UP HIGH *
406
00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:32,619
* SPIN AND DIP AND
JUMP AND CAVORT AND *
407
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,421
* FINISH IT OFF
WITH A LAUGH AND SNORT *
408
00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,689
* HEH HEH HEH [SNORT] *
* HEH HEH HEH [SNORT] *
409
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:38,725
* HEH HEH HEH HEH
HEH HEH HEH HO *
410
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:48,868
* DO IT *
411
00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:50,837
* DO IT *
412
00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:55,207
* EVERYBODY DO THE URKEL DANCE*
413
00:22:55,274 --> 00:22:56,709
* DO THE URKEL *
414
00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:59,211
* DO THE UR-UR-UR-UR-URKEL *
415
00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:01,180
* DO THE URKEL *
416
00:23:01,247 --> 00:23:03,282
* DO THE UR-UR-UR-UR-URKEL *
417
00:23:03,349 --> 00:23:05,084
* DO IT *
418
00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:07,219
* DO IT *
419
00:23:07,286 --> 00:23:11,858
* EVERYBODY DO THE URKEL DANCE*
27016
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.