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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:02,703 [ARGUING] 2 00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,105 ONE AT A TIME. 3 00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:06,240 DON'T ALL TALK AT ONE TIME. 4 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,018 [HONK] 5 00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,856 THANK YOU. 6 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:25,559 NOW, WE HAVE A WEEK'S VACATION. 7 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,496 ONE AT A TIME, WHERE SHOULD WE GO? 8 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:32,900 LET'S GO TO NEW YORK AND TAKE IN SOME THEATER. 9 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,636 I WANT TO GO LIE ON THE BEACH. 10 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,806 YOU KNOW, CATCH SOME RAYS, CATCH SOME Zs, 11 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,041 CATCH A MAN AROUND HIS KNEES. 12 00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:42,210 HA HA! 13 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,977 LET'S GO TO DISNEY WORLD. 14 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,847 WE SHOULD PAY OUR RESPECTS TO ELVIS. 15 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,683 LET'S BOOGIE ON DOWN TO GRACELAND. 16 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,219 GO AHEAD. 17 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:55,055 LET'S BE REALISTIC. WE ONLY HAVE A WEEK. 18 00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:57,191 I'M NOT SPENDING HALF OF IT IN A CAR, 19 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,293 PICKING CHEETOS OFF MY LAP. 20 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,562 WELL, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO? 21 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,164 LAKE GENEVA. 22 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:04,798 LIKE IN SWITZERLAND? 23 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,234 NO, LIKE IN WISCONSIN. 24 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,302 WE CAN RENT A NICE CABIN, 25 00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:10,571 DO SOME FISHING, SOME RELAXING. 26 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:11,872 HEY, IT'S PERFECT. 27 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,575 YOU MEAN IT'S CHEAPER. 28 00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:15,909 WELL, THAT, TOO. 29 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,511 SO LAKE GENEVA IT IS, RIGHT? 30 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,514 [ARGUING] 31 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,650 [HONK] 32 00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,185 THANK YOU. 33 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:25,453 NOW, PEOPLE, 34 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,156 ARGUING IS NOT THE WAY TO SETTLE THINGS 35 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,757 IN THIS FAMILY, RIGHT? 36 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,091 RIGHT. RIGHT. 37 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,060 SO WE'LL LISTEN, BE CONSIDERATE, 38 00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:34,295 AND AGREE ON A PLACE 39 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,264 THAT MAKES EVERYBODY HAPPY, RIGHT? 40 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,765 RIGHT. RIGHT. 41 00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,733 SO LAKE GENEVA IT IS. 42 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,236 [ARGUING] 43 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,814 * IT'S A RARE CONDITION * 44 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:55,549 * IN THIS DAY AND AGE * 45 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,852 * TO READ ANY GOOD NEWS ON THE NEWSPAPER PAGE * 46 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:02,290 * AND LOVE AND TRADITION OF THE GRAND DESIGN * 47 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:06,560 * SOME PEOPLE SAY IS EVEN HARDER TO FIND * 48 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:10,097 * WELL, THEN, THERE MUST BE SOME MAGIC CLUE * 49 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:14,268 * INSIDE THESE GENTLE WALLS * 50 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:17,871 * 'CAUSE ALL I SEE IS A TOWER OF DREAMS * 51 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:21,642 * REAL LOVE BURSTIN' OUT OF EVERY SEAM * 52 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,713 * AS DAYS GO BY * 53 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:30,083 * WE'RE GONNA FILL OUR HOUSE WITH HAPPINESS * 54 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,653 * THE MOON MAY CRY * 55 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,490 * WE'RE GONNA SMOTHER THE BLUES WITH TENDERNESS.* 56 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,493 * WHEN DAYS GO BY * 57 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,197 * THERE'S ROOM FOR YOU, ROOM FOR ME * 58 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:47,468 * FOR GENTLE HEARTS AN OPPORTUNITY * 59 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:50,738 * AS DAYS GO BY * 60 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:55,276 * IT'S THE BIGGER LOVE OF THE FAMILY * 61 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,561 YOU'RE INVITING HARVEY GARVEY? 62 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:14,628 WHY NOT? 63 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,298 WELL, FOR ONE THING, HE ONLY HAS FOUR TEETH. 64 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,335 YEAH, BUT HE DOESN'T EAT MUCH. 65 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:24,505 HI, LADIES. 66 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,707 HOW GOES THE PARTY PLANNING? 67 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,041 GREAT. GREAT. 68 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,443 HAVING IT ON YOUR ROOF? 69 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,411 YEAH. 70 00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,713 HOW DID YOU TALK YOUR PARENTS INTO IT? 71 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,081 THEY GOT NEW CARPET. 72 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,983 THEY BEGGED ME TO HAVE IT UP THERE. 73 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:40,288 MAXINE, SWEETHEART, 74 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,823 I'M GLAD I'M CATERING YOUR PARTY, 75 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,460 BUT WITHOUT MORE MONEY, I'LL HAVE TO USE GENERIC CHIPS 76 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,296 AND WATER DOWN THE PUNCH. 77 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,299 NO PROBLEM. 78 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:54,735 GREAT. 79 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,870 I'LL JUST TAKE THE PROFIT FROM THIS JOB 80 00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,739 AND BUY A STAMP. 81 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,443 [STEREO PLAYING LOUD MUSIC] 82 00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:23,631 HEY, YOU'RE LATE. WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG? 83 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:26,734 I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING TO WEAR. I LOOK HIDEOUS. 84 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,136 YOU LOOK FABULOUS. I LOOK HIDEOUS. 85 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,338 NO, YOU LOOK FABULOUS. 86 00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:31,472 I LOVE YOUR HAIR. 87 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,541 I LOVE YOUR HAIR. MINE'S HIDEOUS. 88 00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,746 FELLAS, WHAT'S UP, MAN? 89 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,748 WHAT'S UP, MAN? 90 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,351 YOU INVITED WILLIE AND WALDO? 91 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,152 NO. THEY CRASHED. 92 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,520 ISN'T THAT EXCITING? 93 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,989 PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY CRASHING MY PARTY. 94 00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,858 MAX, GET A GRIP. 95 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,795 * GO AHEAD * 96 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:55,996 * GO AHEAD * 97 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,197 * GO AHEAD * 98 00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,432 * I'M GONE * 99 00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,500 * I'M GONE * 100 00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:01,335 * I'M GONE * 101 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,939 OOH, LORD. THERE'S HARVEY GARVEY. 102 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,376 HI, LAURA. 103 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,179 [LAUGHING] 104 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,048 HI, GUYS. WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 105 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,116 UH, NOTHING. 106 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,217 NOTHING. 107 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,719 DOES ANYBODY WANT TO DANCE? 108 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,254 HEY, HEY, HEY. MAYBE LATER. 109 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,390 WE'RE DOING SOMETHING. 110 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,958 RIGHT, GUYS? 111 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:28,328 WHAT ARE WE DOING, WILLIE? 112 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,464 WE'RE TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT WE WANT TO DRINK. 113 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,065 YOU DON'T LIKE PUNCH? 114 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,300 SURE, 115 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,403 ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S SPIKED. 116 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,508 HERE. HAVE SOME RUM. 117 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,843 NO! WALDO, WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE? 118 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,445 MY DAD'S A STEWARDESS. 119 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,248 DRINKING IS FOR LOSERS. 120 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,517 OH, REALLY? 121 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,852 HEY, WALDO, SAY HELLO TO ST. LAURA. 122 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,022 THAT'S LAURA WINSLOW. 123 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,661 HEY, A PARTY! 124 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,068 TAKE YOUR BOTTLES AND YOUR BEHIND OUT OF HERE. 125 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,302 HEY, IF I LEAVE, 126 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,939 I TAKE THE BOOZE AND THE BOYS WITH ME. 127 00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,241 YEAH. 128 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,275 RIGHT, GUYS? 129 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,710 YEAH. YEAH. 130 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:21,248 LAURA, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DRINK, FINE, 131 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,950 BUT SHUT UP ABOUT IT. 132 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,384 YOU'LL RUIN MY PARTY. 133 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:25,853 FINE... 134 00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,657 BUT I DON'T NEED TO DRINK TO HAVE A GOOD TIME! 135 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:45,973 LAURA, RELAX. SO SOME GUYS DRANK. 136 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,374 BIG DEAL. 137 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:48,909 WELL... 138 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,243 MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 139 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,379 NOTHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED. 140 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,915 EVERYBODY PARTY! 141 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,352 YOU SPOKE TOO SOON. 142 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,789 GREETINGS, HOSTESSES WITH THE MOSTESSES. 143 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:05,993 WOW. YOU HAVE GOT SOME REAL A-LIST PEOPLE HERE. 144 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,795 HEY, HARVE! 145 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,000 WE GOT TO LIVEN THIS PLACE UP. 146 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,668 NOBODY'S DANCING. 147 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,837 HAVE NO FEAR. THE URK MAN'S HERE. 148 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,473 I'LL HAVE THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAINING IN NO TIME. 149 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,544 HOWDY, DUDERS. 150 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:26,514 YO, LOOK. IT'S STEVE THE DWEEB. 151 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:30,283 NOT BAD, FUFFNER. 152 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,553 I'LL BET YOU WERE UP ALL NIGHT 153 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,387 PUTTING THAT SENTENCE TOGETHER. 154 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,889 YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED. 155 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:39,359 WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN? BUT NOT TOO HARD. 156 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,094 YOU DON'T WANT TO CRUSH YOUR BRAIN. 157 00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:46,567 WATCH IT, URKEL. THE LAST GUY WHO TALKED TO ME LIKE THAT 158 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,502 WAS HARVEY GARVEY. 159 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:51,939 OH, YOU TWO GUYS PUT THE "ICK" IN PATHETIC. 160 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,977 COME ON, GUYS. THERE'S A BEVY OF BEAUTIES 161 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,613 WAITING TO BE SWEPT OFF THEIR DR. SCHOLL'S. 162 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,481 WHAT DO YOU SAY, FUNSTERS? 163 00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:05,252 LET'S DANCE. 164 00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,590 WELL, OKAY, I'LL BREAK THE ICE. 165 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,460 HARVE, CRANK UP THE MUSIC. 166 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,729 IT'S TIME TO DO THE URKEL. 167 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,568 [MUSIC PLAYS LOUDER] 168 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,570 * NOW IF YOU WANNA DO THE STEVE URKEL DANCE * 169 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,572 * ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS HITCH UP YOUR PANTS * 170 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,273 * BEND YOUR KNEES AND STICK OUT YOUR PELVIS * 171 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,809 * I'M TELLIN' YOU, BABY, IT'S BETTER THAN ELVIS * 172 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,619 * DO IT * 173 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,554 * DO IT * 174 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,756 * EVERYBODY * 175 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,625 * DO THE URKEL * 176 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,560 * NOW POINT YOUR FINGERS UP TO THE SKY * 177 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,862 * AND TALK THROUGH YOUR NOSE WAY UP HIGH * 178 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,664 * SPIN AND DIP AND JUMP AND CAVORT AND * 179 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,900 * FINISH IT OFF WITH A LAUGH AND SNORT * 180 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,868 * HEH HEH HEH [SNORT] * * HEH HEH HEH [SNORT] * 181 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,937 * HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HO HO * 182 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,320 WHAT YOU GOING TO DO, WILLIE? 183 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,355 I'M GOING TO GET URKEL. 184 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,557 WHY YOU GOING TO DO THAT, WILLIE? 185 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,460 BECAUSE HE HUMILIATED ME. 186 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,996 BUT YOU HUMILIATE ME EVERY DAY. 187 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,531 THAT'S DIFFERENT. 188 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,533 YOU'RE MY FRIEND. 189 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,569 OH, YEAH. 190 00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,271 * DO THE URKEL * 191 00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:33,573 * DO THE UR-UR-UR-UR-URKEL * 192 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,575 * DO THE URKEL * 193 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,611 * DO THE UR-UR-UR-UR-URKEL * 194 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,279 * DO IT * 195 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,381 * DO IT * 196 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,416 * EVERYBODY * 197 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:46,620 * DO THE URKEL DANCE * 198 00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:54,728 STEVE, STEVE, STEVE, STEVE. 199 00:09:56,630 --> 00:10:00,634 I'VE DECIDED THAT YOU'RE JUST TOO SMART FOR ME. 200 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:04,604 I'VE LEARNED I SHOULDN'T MESS WITH THE URK MAN. 201 00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,507 WELL, THIS IS A PLEASANT TURN OF EVENTS. 202 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,076 TO BE QUITE HONEST, 203 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,511 I'D WRITTEN YOU OFF AS INCORRIGIBLE. 204 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,313 WHAT DID HE SAY? 205 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,048 HE CALLED YOU A GERBIL. 206 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,752 COME ON, BUDDY. 207 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:22,189 HOW ABOUT WE MAKE A TOAST TO OUR NEW FRIENDSHIP? 208 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:27,194 BOY, I'M TRULY MOVED BY THIS GESTURE. 209 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,762 WORD. 210 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,868 MMM. 211 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,304 WHOA! 212 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,206 WHAT IS THIS, MANGO? 213 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,651 CHEERS! 214 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,957 SKOAL! 215 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,795 HEH HEH HEH! 216 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,771 QUICK, BLAME IT ON THE WINE WITCH. 217 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,840 HEH HEH HEH HEH! 218 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:18,578 HEY, LOOK A PLANE. 219 00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,414 THE PLANE, BOSS THE PLANE. 220 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,257 STEVE. 221 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,658 LAURA. 222 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,862 OH, YOU'RE A SORE FOR SIGHT EYES. 223 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:39,066 ARE YOU ALRIGHT? 224 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,667 SWELL! 225 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:41,835 PUNCH! 226 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,570 I WANT MORE PUNCH! 227 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,405 ANYONE HAVE ANY MORE PUNCH? 228 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:46,907 STEVE, CALM DOWN. 229 00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,811 HA HA HA HA. 230 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,715 WHY SHOULD I, LAURA? 231 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,285 I'M THE PIFE OF THE LARTY! 232 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,854 HA HA HA! 233 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,993 OOH THE DURKEL! 234 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:11,899 WALDO, WHAT'S WITH STEVE? 235 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,834 HE'S ACTING WEIRDER THAN USUAL. 236 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,502 WILLIE SAID NOT TO TELL. 237 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,636 TELL WHAT? 238 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,605 THAT HE SPIKED URKEL'S PUNCH. 239 00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,107 WHAT? 240 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,474 I SAID HE-- 241 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,811 HEY, YOU CAN'T TRICK ME. 242 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:29,016 COME ON, EVERYBODY, LET'S OOH THE DURKEL. 243 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:37,991 OOH! 244 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,828 [HUMMING] 245 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,731 AAH! WHOO! 246 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,599 HEY! 247 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,767 STEVE! 248 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,503 STEVE! GET DOWN FROM THERE! 249 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,539 HEY, YOU GOT TO GET UP 250 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,707 BEFORE YOU CAN GET DOW-OW-- 251 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,409 AAH! AAH! 252 00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:00,280 HELP! HELP! 253 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,648 STEVE, ARE YOU OKAY? 254 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,417 I'VE FALLEN, AND I CAN'T GET UP! 255 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,692 HELP! 256 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,461 HELP! 257 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,064 I'VE GOT TO GET TO HIM. SOMEBODY CALL 911! 258 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,610 HELP! 259 00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,379 HELP! 260 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,548 I'M SLIPPING! 261 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,951 STEVE, I'M HERE. 262 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,920 RACHEL, HURRY! 263 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,122 I CAN'T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER! 264 00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:07,347 RACHEL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 265 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:09,116 TIGHTROPE WALKING. 266 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,684 DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THAT? 267 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,486 NO. 268 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,841 AAH! AAH! 269 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,576 IT'S OKAY, STEVE, I'M HERE. 270 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:40,347 I KNOW! YOU'RE STANDING ON MY FINGERS! 271 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,216 SORRY. 272 00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,240 OH! OH! OH! OH! 273 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,577 OH! OH! 274 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,914 OHH. OHH. 275 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,254 OKAY, WHERE'S THE BOOZE? 276 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,923 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 277 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,293 PROBABLY THE BOOZE IN MY COAT. 278 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,900 IS STEVE OKAY? 279 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,935 YEAH. RACHEL'S TAKING HIM HOME. 280 00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,438 SEE, OFFICER? EVERYTHING'S FINE. 281 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,307 WE WERE JUST HAVING A LITTLE FUN. 282 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,875 FUN? STEVE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED. 283 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,645 BUT HE WASN'T. SO CHILL OUT, OKAY? 284 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,982 YOU JUST DON'T GET IT. 285 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,850 YOU THINK IT'S COOL COMING TO A PARTY 286 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,385 WITH A MINIBAR IN YOUR COAT? 287 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,654 YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY TO SPIKE SOMEBODY'S PUNCH 288 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,689 AND WATCH THEM ACT LIKE A FOOL? 289 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,458 WELL, IT'S NOT COOL. 290 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,527 IT'S NOT FUNNY. IT'S DANGEROUS. 291 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:05,132 IT'S ALSO AGAINST THE LAW. 292 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,000 WHERE WE GOING, WILLIE? 293 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:09,569 JAIL, I GUESS. 294 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,139 JUVENILE HALL UNTIL YOUR PARENTS PICK YOU UP. 295 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,606 WE GET A PHONE CALL? 296 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,209 ONE CALL. 297 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,411 CAN IT BE A 976 NUMBER? 298 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,225 IT'S CONFIRMED-- 299 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:35,695 SIX DAYS AND FIVE NIGHTS AT LAKE GENEVA. 300 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,198 CARL WILL BE HAPPY. 301 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:41,368 I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL HIM THE GOOD NEWS. 302 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,538 HI, SWEETIE. HI, MA. 303 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:46,806 HI, HONEY. 304 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,041 OH, CARL, 305 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,110 WE'VE DECIDED WHERE TO GO ON OUR VACATION. 306 00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,082 OH, YOU HAVE, HAVE YOU? 307 00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:02,089 I COME HOME FROM A HARD DAY OF FIGHTING CRIME, 308 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,391 AND DO I HEAR, "HI, CARL. 309 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,526 COULD I GET YOU SOME TRAIL MIX?" 310 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,929 NO, I DO NOT. 311 00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:14,201 WELL, I GUESS MY VOTE DOESN'T COUNT AROUND HERE, 312 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,369 BUT MAY I REMIND YOU TWO 313 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:20,740 THAT I BRING HOME DARN CLOSE TO 50% 314 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,275 OF THIS FAMILY'S BACON? 315 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,677 AND YOU EAT DARN CLOSE TO 90%. 316 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:31,151 WELL, THANK YOU FOR THOSE KIND WORDS, MOTHER. 317 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,653 BUT I'M MERELY TRYING TO POINT OUT 318 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,657 THAT WHENEVER VACATION TIME ROLLS AROUND... 319 00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,828 MY DESIRES, 320 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,863 MY WISHES, 321 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,666 ARE NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED. 322 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,000 CARL-- AND WHY? 323 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,171 BECAUSE I DON'T MATTER, DO I, HARRIETTE? 324 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:55,142 I DON'T MATTER. ONCE, JUST ONCE, 325 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,244 CAN WE GO WHERE I'D LIKE TO GO? 326 00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:01,848 ALL I'M ASKING FOR IS ONE MEASLY, LITTLE WEEK 327 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,218 AT ONE MEASLY, LITTLE LAKE. 328 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,253 BUT THAT'S TOO MUCH. 329 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,687 CARL! WHAT? 330 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:08,988 CORK IT! 331 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:11,524 WE ALREADY MADE A RESERVATION. 332 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,726 YOU ALREADY MADE A RESERVATION. 333 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,096 TYPICAL. 334 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:19,366 WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT HELLHOLE 335 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,834 YOU'RE DRAGGING ME TO THIS TIME. 336 00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,573 LAKE GENEVA? 337 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:29,976 YES. 338 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:33,045 WE ALL DECIDED THAT IT WOULD BE NICE 339 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,983 IF FOR ONCE WE WENT WHERE YOU WANTED TO GO. 340 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,118 WELL... 341 00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:41,020 GEE, THANKS, GUYS. 342 00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,555 THAT'S SWELL. 343 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:48,060 ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN SO GRACIOUS 344 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,463 ABOUT NOT GETTING YOUR OWN WAY. 345 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,501 WELL, THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF GUY I AM. 346 00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:04,444 I THINK I'L GO TO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE US ALL SOME TRAIL MIX. 347 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:33,172 MY WHOLE BODY HURTS. 348 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,575 EVEN MY EYELASHES HURT. 349 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,278 AND I THINK MY TONGUE NEED A SHAVE. 350 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,215 OH, BUCK UP STEVE. 351 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,784 I AM FIXING YOU A SURE-FIRE HANGOVER REMEDY. 352 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,554 THIS WILL EITHER KILL YOU, OR KILL YOU. 353 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,223 EITHER WAY, I'LL BE BETTER OFF. 354 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,159 [BLENDER ROARS] 355 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,494 AAH! 356 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,996 AAH! AAH! OH! OH! 357 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,766 SORRY. 358 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,268 OHH. 359 00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:05,071 STEVE, YOU HAVE MY SYMPATHY. 360 00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,506 I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. 361 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,576 REALLY? TELL ME ABOUT IT, CARL. 362 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:10,643 WELL-- 363 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:11,944 QUIETLY. 364 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:16,616 THE NIGHT I GRADUATED FROM THE POLICE ACADEMY, 365 00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:19,419 ME AND MY BUDDIES DECIDED TO TIE ONE ON. 366 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,688 WELL, MOST OF THE NIGHT IS A BLUR, 367 00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,356 BUT DAWN FOUND ME 368 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,725 RIDING A COW DOWN THE DAN RYAN EXPRESSWAY. 369 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,796 HEH HEH--OW! HEH HEH--OW! 370 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:30,863 [SNORT] 371 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:31,931 OHH. 372 00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,836 NEVER SNORT WITH A HANGOVER. 373 00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:40,473 I JUST BLEW MY ADENOIDS OUT THE BACK OF MY HEAD. 374 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:43,610 AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, 375 00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:46,012 LIQUOR WILL NEVER TOUCH THESE LIPS AGAIN. 376 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,514 WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, STEVE. 377 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,416 HERE, CHUG THIS DOWN. 378 00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:54,687 WELL, I DON'T KNOW, CARL. 379 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,222 IT SMELLS RANCID. 380 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,590 WELL, THAT MEANS IT'S READY. 381 00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:59,759 GO AHEAD. DOWN THE HATCH. 382 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,304 THAT'S IT. 383 00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:12,805 GO AHEAD. 384 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:13,940 YEAH. 385 00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,476 ALRIGHT. 386 00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:18,478 NOW, WHAT'S THE VERDICT? 387 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,515 HEY, NOT BAD. 388 00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:25,785 RATHER TASTY. 389 00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:29,656 I THINK IT DID THE TRICK. 390 00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:35,528 UH-OH. 391 00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:37,530 STEVE, WHAT'S WRONG? 392 00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:39,532 I THINK IT JUST DID ANOTHER TRICK. 393 00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:42,034 I BETTER VISIT THE FACILITIES QUICKLY. 394 00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:48,040 SORRY, LAURA, NO TIME TO TALK! 395 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,384 IT'S TIME TO DO THE URKEL. 396 00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:03,890 * IF YOU WANNA DO THE STEVE URKEL DANCE * 397 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:06,393 * ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS HITCH UP YOUR PANTS * 398 00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:08,094 * BEND YOUR KNEES AND STICK OUT YOUR PELVIS * 399 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,830 * I'M TELLING YOU, BABY, IT'S BETTER THAN ELVIS * 400 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,473 * DO IT * 401 00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:22,208 * DO IT * 402 00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:24,511 * EVERYBODY * 403 00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,613 * DO THE URKEL DANCE * 404 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,347 * POINT YOUR FINGERS UP TO THE SKY * 405 00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:30,650 * AND TALK THROUGH YOUR NOSE WAY UP HIGH * 406 00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:32,619 * SPIN AND DIP AND JUMP AND CAVORT AND * 407 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,421 * FINISH IT OFF WITH A LAUGH AND SNORT * 408 00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,689 * HEH HEH HEH [SNORT] * * HEH HEH HEH [SNORT] * 409 00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:38,725 * HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HO * 410 00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:48,868 * DO IT * 411 00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:50,837 * DO IT * 412 00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:55,207 * EVERYBODY DO THE URKEL DANCE* 413 00:22:55,274 --> 00:22:56,709 * DO THE URKEL * 414 00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:59,211 * DO THE UR-UR-UR-UR-URKEL * 415 00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:01,180 * DO THE URKEL * 416 00:23:01,247 --> 00:23:03,282 * DO THE UR-UR-UR-UR-URKEL * 417 00:23:03,349 --> 00:23:05,084 * DO IT * 418 00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:07,219 * DO IT * 419 00:23:07,286 --> 00:23:11,858 * EVERYBODY DO THE URKEL DANCE* 27016

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