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1
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,175
RICHIE CRAWFORD.
2
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:10,044
I TOLD YOU, NO CANDY
BEFORE DINNER.
3
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,513
OH, YEAH, I FORGOT.
4
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:15,049
HONEY, NOW THAT
YOU'RE A BIG BOY
5
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:18,619
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LEARN
TO LISTEN TO YOUR CONSCIENCE.
6
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,521
WHAT'S A CONSCIENCE?
7
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:23,924
YOUR CONSCIENCE IS A TINY
LITTLE VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD
8
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,660
THAT TELLS YOU WHEN YOU'RE
DOING SOMETHING WRONG.
9
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,396
UNDERSTAND?
10
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:32,100
I GUESS SO.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT
EVEN LOUDER VOICE.
11
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:34,735
LOUDER VOICE?
12
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:38,672
YEAH, THAT ONE INSIDE MY TUMMY
THAT SAYS, "GIMME CANDY."
13
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,053
* IT'S A RARE CONDITION *
14
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,622
* IN THIS DAY AND AGE *
15
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:58,126
* TO READ ANY GOOD NEWS
ON THE NEWSPAPER PAGE *
16
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:01,562
* AND LOVE AND TRADITION
OF THE GRAND DESIGN *
17
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:06,234
* SOME PEOPLE SAY
IS EVEN HARDER TO FIND *
18
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,303
* WELL, THEN, THERE MUST BE
SOME MAGIC CLUE *
19
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:13,407
* INSIDE
THESE GENTLE WALLS *
20
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:17,077
* 'CAUSE ALL I SEE
IS A TOWER OF DREAMS *
21
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:21,915
* REAL LOVE BURSTIN'
OUT OF EVERY SEAM *
22
00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:24,885
* AS DAYS GO BY *
23
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:28,989
WE'RE GONNA FILL OUR HOUSE
WITH HAPPINESS *
24
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:31,759
* THE MOON MAY CRY *
25
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:35,463
* WE'RE GONNA SMOTHER THE BLUES
WITH TENDERNESS *
26
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:39,233
* AS DAYS GO BY *
27
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:42,536
* THERE'S ROOM FOR YOU
ROOM FOR ME *
28
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:46,807
* FOR GENTLE HEARTS
AN OPPORTUNITY *
29
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:49,810
* AS DAYS GO BY *
30
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:53,481
* IT'S THE BIGGER LOVE
OF THE FAMILY *
31
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,335
HERE'S THE SUGAR,
SUGAR.
32
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,442
WOW.
33
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:24,678
THERE'S TODD HELMS,
THAT NEW TRANSFER
STUDENT.
34
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,714
ISN'T HE GORGEOUS?
35
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:27,881
WELL, SEEMS A MIGHT TALL.
36
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,584
PROBABLY
A PITUITARY PROBLEM.
37
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,888
HI.
38
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:35,923
HI.
39
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,591
I'M TODD HELMS.
40
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,960
OH, ME, TOO.
41
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,996
OH, I MEAN,
I'M LAURA WINSLOW.
42
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,698
IS THE WAITER JOB OPEN?
43
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,367
IT'S FILLED.
44
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,871
NO, IT ISN'T.
APPLICATIONS
ARE OVER THERE.
45
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:53,507
FILL ONE OUT,
THEN TALK TO
MY AUNT RACHEL.
46
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,508
THANK YOU.
47
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:55,776
THANK YOU.
48
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,214
WELL, LAURA.
49
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,785
LAURA.
50
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,288
GEE, WILLAKERS.
51
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,723
HER HORMONES
ARE STAMPEDING.
52
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,528
UH, MR. SNIPLITSKY?
53
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:18,366
RIGHT THIS WAY.
54
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,635
HOW ARE YOU?
55
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,737
HAVE A SEAT.
56
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,743
NOW, UM...
57
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,613
HAVE YOU EVER WORKED
IN A RESTAURANT BEFORE?
58
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,584
YOU HAVE A LOVELY HAT.
59
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,590
THANK YOU.
I DO TRY TO
LOOK MY BEST.
60
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,326
IT GIVES THE PLACE
A SENSE OF STYLE.
61
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:48,796
NOW, CAN YOU WORK
WEEKENDS?
62
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,765
YOU HAVE A LOVELY HAT.
63
00:03:56,570 --> 00:04:00,173
MR. SNIPLITSKY,
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
64
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,176
YOU HAVE A LOVELY HAT.
65
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,113
I'M SORRY, SIR,
BUT I NEED A WAITER
66
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,816
WHO CAN TALK
TO MY CUSTOMERS.
67
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:09,983
UH, SIR,
68
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:13,621
I DO HOPE
YOU UNDERSTAND.
69
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,890
UH, GOODLUCK
IN AMERICA.
70
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,727
YOU HAVE A LOVELY HAT.
71
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,796
THANK YOU.
72
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:24,698
BYE, NOW.
73
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,866
BYE-BYE.
74
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,735
WATCH
THAT CORNER.
75
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,370
BYE-BYE.
76
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,308
UH, ATTENTION, PLEASE.
77
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,176
IF YOU WANT THIS JOB,
78
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:39,347
YOU HAVE
TO SPEAK ENGLISH.
79
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,622
YO.
80
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,625
I TALK GOOD ENGLISH.
81
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,127
OKAY.
82
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,295
YOUR NAME IS...
83
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:57,565
LOOK, I'LL NEED
WEEKENDS OFF,
84
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,832
A MONTH'S PAID VACATION,
85
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:02,703
AND FREE FOOD FOR ME
AND MY FRIENDS.
86
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,472
NEXT!
87
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:21,755
LAURA, WHY ARE YOU
OGLING THAT GIRAFFE?
88
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,625
STEVE, TODD HAPPENS TO BE
A GREAT BASKETBALL PLAYER.
89
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:27,695
HE LED HIS SCHOOL
TO THE STATE
CHAMPIONSHIP.
90
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,130
WELL, I WAS
JUST RE-ELECTED
EQUIPMENT MANAGER
91
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,433
OF THE GOLF TEAM.
92
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:37,037
ANYBODY NEEDS A PUTTER,
THEY COME TO ME.
93
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:40,541
WELCOME ABOARD.
94
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:43,877
WELL, WE HAVE
OUR NEW WAITER.
95
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,679
YES!
96
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,382
I MEAN,
CONGRATULATIONS.
97
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,684
THANKS.
98
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:56,624
WELL, I HAVE A RIVAL FOR LAURA.
99
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,827
A TALL RIVAL.
100
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:05,733
WELL, THEN I'LL JUST
BUY ME SOME STILTS
AND WIN HER BACK.
101
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,640
WHAT'S A THREE LETTER WORD
FOR PLEASURE?
102
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,442
MEN.
103
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,879
WHAT ABOUT FUN?
104
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:20,648
THEY CAN BE.
105
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:28,656
YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY.
106
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,758
AFTER LUNCH,
I WENT JOGGING
IN THE PARK--
107
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:31,925
COME ON, CARL.
108
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,160
YOU? JOG?
109
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:39,132
WELL, ACTUALLY,
I WAS CHASING
THE ICE CREAM TRUCK,
110
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:42,703
BUT AS I JUMPED THE HEDGE,
I SAW SOMETHING SHINY.
111
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:45,506
FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS.
112
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,409
CARL!
113
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,244
ARE THOSE DIAMONDS REAL?
114
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,513
EXTREMELY.
115
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:53,914
THEY MUST BE WORTH
THOUSANDS.
116
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,817
15,450.
117
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,454
I HAD IT APPRAISED.
118
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,623
OOH-WHEE!
119
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,992
IT WAS JUST LYING THERE.
NOT A SOUL AROUND.
120
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:05,926
SO IS IT OURS?
121
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:08,929
ARE YOU NUTS?
WE CAN'T KEEP THIS.
122
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,264
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE CAN'T KEEP IT.
123
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:14,201
YEAH.
WE'LL SELL IT.
124
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:18,038
WITH 15 GRAND,
WE CAN TAKE
THAT DREAM VACATION.
125
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,072
OUR CARIBBEAN CRUISE?
126
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:21,074
YOU GOT IT, BABE.
127
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:24,512
* WON'T YOU LET ME
TAKE YOU ON A SEA CRUISE? *
128
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,714
FORGET ABOUT THE CRUISE.
129
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,982
DIAMONDS ARE
A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.
130
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:32,720
UH, NOW, MOTHER,
131
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,722
THERE WILL BE
PLENTY LEFT OVER.
132
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,991
I'LL BUY YOU
A PRETTIER BRACELET--
LESS OSTENTATIOUS.
133
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,760
YOU MEAN CHEAPER.
134
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,464
MAMA, LET'S NOT
COUNT OUR DIAMONDS
BEFORE THEY'RE HOCKED.
135
00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:45,966
I HAVE TO TURN THIS IN,
136
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,969
BUT IF NOBODY CLAIMS IT
WITHIN 30 DAYS, IT'S OURS.
137
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,270
GOOD.
138
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:51,404
UH-OH.
139
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,473
HERE'S AN INSCRIPTION--
140
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:56,243
"TO MY PRECIOUS
POOPSIE."
141
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,377
WELL, THAT DOESN'T HELP.
142
00:07:57,444 --> 00:08:00,213
THIS CITY IS PACKED
WITH POOPSIES.
143
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,584
LET'S LOOK AT THOSE
CRUISE BROCHURES.
144
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,152
YOU STILL HAVE THEM?
145
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:08,756
I'VE BEEN FILING THEM AWAY
UNDER "F"--FOR FAT CHANCE.
146
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:19,667
23, 24, 25.
147
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:22,770
TWO!
148
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,208
I FEEL GREAT.
149
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,277
NOT ME.
150
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,079
I'VE LOST LAURA.
151
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:35,248
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
YOU NEVER HAD HER.
152
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,087
THANKS, BUT THERE'S
A NEW WRINKLE.
153
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,221
WHAT IS IT?
154
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,890
YOU KNOW
TODD HELMS.
155
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,725
SURE.
GREAT BALL PLAYER.
156
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,927
REAL NICE GUY.
BABES LOVE HIM.
157
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:50,564
A SIMPLE
"I KNOW THE DUDE"
WOULD HAVE SUFFICED.
158
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,499
WELL, WHAT ABOUT HIM?
159
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,735
WELL, HE'S FLUNKING
GEOMETRY,
160
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,970
WHICH MEANS
HE'LL GET BOUNCED OFF
THE BASKETBALL TEAM.
161
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,773
HIS POP WILL GROUND HIM,
MEANING NO DATES WITH LAURA,
162
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,876
WHICH IS GOOD FOR ME,
EXCEPT TODD ASKED ME
TO TUTOR HIM.
163
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,278
NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
THEM APPLES.
164
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,982
WHAT WAS
THAT FIRST THING AGAIN?
165
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,852
THINK, MAN.
TODD'S MY RIVAL.
166
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:15,823
THE ONLY OBSTACLE
BETWEEN ME
AND MY LADY LOVE.
167
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,859
STEVE, THE ONLY OBSTACLE
BETWEEN YOU AND LAURA
168
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,928
IS YOU.
169
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:30,103
BOY, I HOLD TODD'S FATE
IN THE PALM OF MY HAND.
170
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,571
SHOULD I TEACH HIM
TO FLY HIGH
171
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:34,007
OR SQUASH HIM
LIKE AN INSECT?
172
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,349
MOM,
WHAT'S THE CAPITAL
OF BELGIUM?
173
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,984
I'LL GIVE YOU
A HINT--
174
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,620
WHICH VEGETABLE
DO YOU HATE THE MOST?
175
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:49,890
THE CAPITAL OF BELGIUM
IS BROCCOLI?
176
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,392
BRUSSELS, JUDY.
177
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,928
AS IN BRUSSELS SPROUTS?
178
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:59,967
I'LL LET THAT ALL SINK IN
WHILE I GO PLAY NINTENDO.
179
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,205
HELLO, BABE.
180
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,339
HI, HONEY.
181
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,910
ANY CALLS TODAY
ABOUT THE BRACELET?
182
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,879
NOT ONE.
183
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,216
ALTHOUGH I AM
SORT OF SURPRISED,
184
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:20,020
WHAT WITH THAT BIG AD
YOU PUT IN THE PAPER.
185
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,458
CARL, YOU DID
PLACE THE AD.
186
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,661
OH, SURE.
FULL PAGE.
187
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,831
YOU POPPED FOR
A FULL-PAGE AD
188
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,566
IN THE CHICAGO CHRONICLE?
189
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,169
WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
190
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,071
WHAT, EXACTLY?
191
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,907
IT'S, UH...
192
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,743
IT'S IN
THE AMISH ALMANAC.
193
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:50,350
HARRIETTE, I'M SORRY,
BUT I FEEL WE FULFILLED
OUR OBLIGATION HERE.
194
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,852
WE TURNED
THE BRACELET IN.
195
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:55,388
NOW IT'S UP TO POOPSIE
TO CLAIM IT.
196
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:58,926
CARL, THINK ABOUT IT.
197
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,093
RIGHT NOW,
POOR POOPSIE'S
198
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,595
PROBABLY
CRYING HER EYES OUT.
199
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,866
HARRIETTE, BELIEVE ME,
POOPSIE IS NOT POOR.
200
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,635
WELL, EVEN SO.
201
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,704
WE HAVE TO TRY
TO FIND THE OWNER.
202
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,672
THEN IF NOBODY
CLAIMS IT,
203
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:16,810
YOU'LL HAVE
A CLEARER CONSCIENCE.
204
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,684
NOT LIKE I DID
ANYTHING WRONG.
205
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,927
MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR.
206
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:41,001
IS IT REALLY, CARL?
207
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,536
WHO ARE YOU?
208
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,472
I'M YOUR CONSCIENCE,
209
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,975
AND I'M NOT
FEELING VERY CLEAR.
210
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,744
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
211
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:51,979
YOU HAVEN'T
REALLY TRIED TO FIND
212
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,481
THE OWNER OF THE BRACELET,
HAVE YOU, CARL?
213
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,218
WELL, I...I...
214
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,691
HEY, CARL. DON'T
LISTEN TO THAT WIMP!
215
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,427
IT'S FINDERS-KEEPERS,
LOSERS-WEEPERS.
216
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,697
HE'S GOT A POINT.
217
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:13,700
YEAH, AND IT'S
ON HIS TAIL.
218
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:14,634
SSS!
219
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:15,969
HEH HEH HEH!
220
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,941
BESIDES,
YOU'RE A POLICE OFFICER.
221
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:24,311
IT'S YOUR DUTY
TO HELP PEOPLE.
222
00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:26,246
HE'S GOT A POINT.
223
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:29,082
YEAH, ON HIS HEAD.
224
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,885
CARL...
225
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,586
CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER.
226
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:34,888
SURE THEY DO.
227
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,190
WAKE UP AND SMELL
THE SULFUR.
228
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,227
YOU'VE WORKED HARD,
BEEN HONEST,
WHAT'S IT GOT YOU?
229
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:43,296
A SECOND MORTGAGE,
AND A $10-A-DAY
DOUGHNUT HABIT.
230
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,566
NOW WAIT A MINUTE, BUB.
231
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:50,470
HEY, THAT'S BEELZEBUB
TO YOU, BRO.
232
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,241
CARL, IGNORE HIM.
233
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,709
HE'S NAUGHTY.
234
00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,013
HEY.
BUTT OUT!
235
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,883
ARE YOU
WILLING TO TRADE
YOUR SELF-RESPECT
236
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,352
FOR A CARIBBEAN CRUISE?
237
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,354
WELL...
238
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,323
* DAY-O *
239
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,226
* DAY-O *
240
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:19,166
* DAYLIGHT COME
AND ME WANT TO GO HOME *
241
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,201
THAT'S ENOUGH.
242
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,637
I'M GOING TO TRY MY BEST
TO RETURN THE BRACELET.
243
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,007
WAY TO GO, CARL.
244
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:29,576
* HALLELUJAH *
245
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,945
* HALLELUJAH *
246
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:32,913
* HALLELUJAH *
247
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,047
* HALLELUJAH *
248
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,584
* HALLELUJAH *
249
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,466
UH, STEVE?
250
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:54,601
YEAH?
251
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,170
CAN I TALK TO YOU
ABOUT TODD?
252
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,706
GEE, TODD THIS,
TODD THAT.
253
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:03,776
I'M GETTING TIRED
OF HEARING ABOUT
YOUR HOT TODDY.
254
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,245
LOOK, STEVE,
255
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,881
I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT
IF YOU TUTOR TODD.
256
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,517
AREN'T YOU REALIZING
WHAT YOU'RE ASKING?
257
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,686
I'M JEALOUS OF TODD,
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO HELP?
258
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,189
WHY NOT DROP
A BOULDER ON MY FOOT,
259
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,791
SHOVE BAMBOO SHOOTS
UNDER MY FINGERNAILS,
260
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,494
OR SCOOP MY EYEBALLS OUT
WITH A MELON BALLER?
261
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,068
SO WILL YOU DO IT?
262
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:32,272
WELL,
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
263
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:40,914
OH...
264
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,886
GEE, THIS IS A TOUGHIE.
265
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:49,456
WHAT THE DEVIL
AM I GOING TO DO?
266
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,559
YOU CALLED?
267
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,728
WHO ARE YOU?
268
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,464
I'M YOUR DARK SIDE.
269
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,531
YOUR UNDERBELLY.
270
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,600
YOUR WORST IMPULSE.
271
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,202
HEH HEH HEH!
272
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:05,138
IN SHORT,
I'M YOUR ID, KID.
273
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,843
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
274
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,246
WHY, TO HELP YOU OUT,
BUDDY-BOY.
275
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,582
YOU'VE BEEN OVERLOOKING
THE PERFECT SOLUTION
276
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,784
TO YOUR PROBLEM.
277
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:18,885
OH?
278
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,221
WELL, TELL ME MORE.
279
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,324
PROMISE TO TUTOR TODD,
280
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,926
THEN GIVE HIM
ALL THE WRONG ANSWERS.
281
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,963
HE'LL BE
OUT OF THE PICTURE,
282
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,332
AND THEN YOU'LL GET
LUSCIOUS LAURA.
283
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,400
HEH HEH!
284
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,103
SSS!
285
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:38,938
WHOA.
286
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:40,307
BAD URKEL.
287
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,642
IS THAT THE WAY
YOU WANT TO WIN LAURA,
288
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:45,612
THROUGH TREACHERY
AND DECEIT?
289
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:49,916
WELL?
290
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,952
I'M THINKING.
I'M THINKING.
291
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:57,190
IF LAURA FINDS OUT
THAT YOU GAVE TODD
ALL THE WRONG ANSWERS,
292
00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,027
SHE'LL LOSE
ALL RESPECT FOR YOU.
293
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,262
OH, SURE, LIKE SHE
RESPECTS HIM NOW.
294
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:06,033
HEY!
295
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,871
LISTEN, STEVE?
296
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,673
LOOK, I HATE TO
KEEP BUGGING YOU,
297
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,208
BUT I'M REALLY
DESPERATE.
298
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,476
I'M GOING
TO FAIL MATH,
299
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:19,512
AND YOU'RE
MY ONLY HOPE.
PLEASE TUTOR ME.
300
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,084
OKAY.
301
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,953
OKAY. GO GET YOUR BOOKS.
302
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:30,123
YOU'RE THE BEST.
303
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,464
WELL, YOU'LL GIVE HIM
ALL THE WRONG ANSWERS,
AREN'T YOU?
304
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,634
NO. I'M GOING TO GIVE HIM
THE RIGHT ONES.
305
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:44,971
AHH...
306
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,307
* HALLELUJAH *
307
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,776
* HALLELUJAH *
308
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:50,843
* HALLELUJAH *
309
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,011
* HALLELUJAH *
310
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,781
* HALLELUJAH *
311
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,223
ALL ASHORE
WHO'S GOING ASHORE!
312
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:07,194
GET YOUR SHUFFLEBOARD STICKS.
WE ARE SHIPPING OUT!
313
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:09,096
CARL, HAS IT BEEN
A MONTH ALREADY?
314
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:12,031
YES, AND IT'S ALL OURS.
FREE AND CLEAR!
315
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:17,570
JUST THINK ABOUT IT, BABE--
YOU, ME, MOONLIT DECK...
316
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:18,871
STARRY SKIES,
317
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,940
WAVES RUSHING BY...
318
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,310
CARIBBEAN,
HERE WE COME!
319
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,578
[DOORBELL RINGS]
320
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:31,884
MAY I HELP YOU?
321
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,353
I HOPE SO.
322
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:36,022
ARE YOU THE PEOPLE
WHO FOUND MY DIAMONDS?
323
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:39,058
NO.
324
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,798
MOTHER WINSLOW!
325
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,336
MOTHER WINSLOW.
326
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:51,504
HELLO.
327
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,073
THE POLICE
GAVE ME THIS ADDRESS.
328
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,376
DO I HAVE
THE WRONG HOUSE?
329
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,616
NO, YOU DON'T.
PLEASE COME IN.
330
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,818
THANK YOU, MY DEAR.
331
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,155
I'M EUNICE PEAVY.
332
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,257
I'M HARRIETTE WINSLOW.
HERE'S MY HUSBAND CARL
333
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:11,724
AND MY MOTHER-IN-LAW
ESTELLE.
334
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,226
HELLO.
335
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,627
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
336
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,829
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
337
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:17,897
TO THE COUCH.
338
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:20,099
THANK YOU.
339
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,602
I WOULD'VE
BEEN HERE SOONER,
340
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:25,205
BUT I WAS ON
A CARIBBEAN CRUISE.
341
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,511
PLEASE, MAY I
HAVE MY JEWELRY?
342
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,581
OH, EXCUSE ME,
343
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,550
BUT PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE
TO DESCRIBE IT FIRST?
344
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,685
OF COURSE.
345
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:39,819
IT'S
PAVE DIAMONDS
346
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,222
SET IN
18-KARAT GOLD.
347
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,392
WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT,
SO FAR.
348
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,694
CAN YOU TELL US WHAT
THE INSCRIPTION SAYS?
349
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,364
CERTAINLY.
"TO MY PRECIOUS POOPSIE."
350
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,569
THIS CITY IS PACKED
WITH POOPSIES.
351
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,839
CARL, GIVE IT UP.
352
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:01,441
IT'S HERS.
353
00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:03,576
HERE YOU GO,
MA'AM.
354
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,877
OH!
355
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,846
OH!
356
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,315
CARL! CARL!
357
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,818
I'M SO HAPPY!
358
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,587
OH, IT'S SO REFRESHING
TO DISCOVER
359
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,890
THERE'S STILL GOOD,
HONEST PEOPLE
IN THIS WORLD.
360
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,092
HOW CAN I THANK YOU?
361
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,362
IT'S NOT
NECESSARY.
IT'S NOT
NECESSARY.
362
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:25,365
PERHAPS A CASH REWARD?
363
00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:27,600
THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
WELL...
364
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,840
HERE'S $20.
365
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,243
$20.
366
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,110
DON'T ARGUE.
367
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,879
I INSIST.
368
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,583
OH, WELL.
369
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:44,484
TA-TA,
370
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,953
AND THANK YOU
EVER SO MUCH.
371
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:50,790
I CAN'T BEGIN
TO TELL YOU
HOW GRATEFUL I AM.
372
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,326
EVER SINCE WE LOST THIS,
373
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:56,396
POOPSIE HASN'T
EATEN A BITE.
374
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,965
EXCUSE ME,
EXCUSE ME.
375
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,867
I'M A LITTLE
CONFUSED HERE.
376
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,134
AREN'T YOU POOPSIE?
377
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,437
OH, MY, NO!
378
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,773
POOPSIE'S MY KITTY CAT.
379
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:29,529
OH, HI, MRS. URKEL.
380
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,197
OH.
381
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:33,900
I'M SORRY, MR. URKEL.
382
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,736
UH, IS STEVE THERE?
383
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,705
NO. DON'T BOTHER HIM
IF HE'S MAKING PIZZA.
384
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,707
HE CAN JUST--
385
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,275
HELLO?
386
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:49,316
HI, LAURA.
I'D HAVE BEEN HERE SOONER,
387
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,551
BUT YOU CAUGHT ME
IN MID-TWIRL.
388
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:55,087
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO RUSH.
I WANTED TO TELL YOU
389
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:58,458
THAT TODD GOT
A "B" IN GEOMETRY--
THANKS TO YOU.
390
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,828
WELL, GEE, THAT'S SWELL.
391
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,262
I HOPE YOU CRAZY KIDS
392
00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:05,164
WILL BE
VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.
393
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:07,567
NOW I'LL HEAD
BACK TO URKEL HUT
394
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:11,003
AND THROW MYSELF
ON THE CHEESE GRATER.
395
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,271
UH, STEVE?
396
00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:14,507
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
TODD AND I BROKE UP.
397
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,644
AW...
398
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,112
WELL, THAT'S
A CRYING SHAME.
399
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:21,948
WHAT HAPPENED?
400
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:25,418
WELL...
401
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:30,457
ALL HE TALKS ABOUT
IS BASKETBALL.
HE'S OBSESSED.
402
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:31,658
THE ONLY SONG
HE KNOWS
403
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:33,259
IS SWEET
GEORGIA BROWN.
404
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:34,927
AHA! SO YOU REALIZED
405
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:39,165
A STRONG MIND
IS MORE IMPORTANT
THAN A TALL BODY.
406
00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:40,600
WELL...
407
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:43,035
WHICH LEAVES
THE DOOR WIDE OPEN
FOR YOURS TRULY,
408
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:46,305
BEING 98% BRAIN
AND 2% BRAWN.
409
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:49,609
UH, STEVE...
410
00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:52,445
OH, LAURA,
WE'LL BE SO HAPPY.
411
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,647
WANT TO GO PICK OUT
OUR CHINA PATTERN?
412
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,284
IT'S TRUE I WANT A GUY
WITH SOMETHING UPSTAIRS,
413
00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:00,987
BUT I ALSO WANT
A WELL-BUILT STAIRCASE.
414
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,556
OH, WELL. NO PROBLEMO.
415
00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:05,458
I'LL BEGIN
A TRAINING SCHEDULE.
416
00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:07,494
WHY, A FEW SESSIONS
ON THE MUSCLE MASTER,
417
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,129
AND YOU'LL BE DROOLING
OVER MY DELTOIDS.
418
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:11,598
[CRACK]
419
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,702
LAURA?
420
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:16,636
WHAT, STEVE?
421
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:19,739
I HURT MYSELF.
CAN YOU CARRY ME HOME?
27556
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