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1
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,641
OKAY, ALRIGHT.
2
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,310
LET'S SEE...
3
00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,546
MUNCHIES.
4
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,750
COMFY COUCH.
5
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,221
REMOTE CONTROL.
6
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,798
AHH, THE GOOD LIFE.
7
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,103
OKAY, MOM, BRING IT IN.
8
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,937
ALRIGHT, SWEETHEART.
9
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:37,971
BE CAREFUL, HARRIETTE.
10
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,408
YEAH, OKAY
11
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,547
WAIT A MINUTE.
HOLD UP.
12
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:49,550
HARRIETTE, I'M TRYING
TO WATCH THE FOOTBALL GAME.
13
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:53,687
-LOOK AT MY NEW PLAYHOUSE.
-THIS BABY'S REALLY LOADED--
14
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,157
IT'S GOT A TABLE, A PHONE,
A SWINGING DOOR..
15
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:57,625
A MORTGAGE.
16
00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,594
GOOD LUCK PUTTING IT
TOGETHER, UNCLE CARL.
17
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,564
OH, HARRIETTE.
18
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:06,467
PLEASE, UNCLE CARL?
19
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,638
RICHIE, I'LL PUT IT TOGETHER
AFTER THE GAME.
20
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,039
HOW LONG IS THAT?
21
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,307
THREE HOURS.
22
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,677
I'LL BE TOO BIG
FOR IT BY THEN.
23
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,982
BUT, RICHIE, IT'S THE BEARS
AND THE VIKINGS.
24
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:24,118
PLEASE, UNCLE CARL?
25
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,853
I LOVE YOU...
26
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,221
A BUSHEL AND A PECK
27
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:30,524
AND A HUG
AROUND THE NECK.
28
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,462
OKAY, OKAY
29
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:37,165
-HE NEVER HAD A CHANCE.
-MM-MMM.
30
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:52,380
* IT'S A RARE CONDITION
IN THIS DAY AND AGE *
31
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:55,949
* TO READ ANY GOOD NEWS
ON THE NEWSPAPER PAGE *
32
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:59,887
* AND LOVE AND TRADITION
OF THE GRAND DESIGN *
33
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:04,292
* SOME PEOPLE SAY
IS EVEN HARDER TO FIND *
34
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:07,195
* WELL, THEN, THERE MUST BE
SOME MAGIC CLUE *
35
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:11,399
* INSIDE THESE GENTLE WALLS *
36
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,868
* 'CAUSE ALL I SEE
IS A TOWER OF DREAMS *
37
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:18,906
* REAL LOVE BURSTIN'
OUT OF EVERY SEAM *
38
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,776
* AS DAYS GO BY *
39
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:26,947
* WE'RE GONNA FILL OUR HOUSE
WITH HAPPINESS *
40
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:29,683
* THE MOON MAY CRY *
41
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:33,821
* WE'RE GONNA SMOTHER THE BLUES
WITH TENDERNESS *
42
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,824
* WHEN DAYS GO BY *
43
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:40,494
* THERE'S ROOM FOR YOU,
ROOM FOR ME *
44
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:44,365
* FOR GENTLE HEARTS
AND OPPORTUNITY *
45
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:47,735
* AS DAYS GO BY *
46
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:52,740
* IT'S THE BIGGER LOVE
OF THE FAMILY **
47
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,929
HI, BIG GUY.
48
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:18,932
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
49
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:22,870
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST WEAR A HAT
LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE?
50
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,541
STEVE, I'M IN
NO MOOD FOR THIS.
51
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:32,413
WHY THE SOUR PUSS,
MY PORTLY POUTING PAL?
52
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,049
WELL, I HAVE TO ASSEMBLE
THIS PLAYHOUSE FOR RICHIE.
53
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,751
OOH, YOU WANT SOME HELP?
54
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:38,919
NO, THANKS.
55
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,988
I MEAN, IT'S JUST A KID'S TOY.
56
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,324
HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
57
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,560
YIKES!
58
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,329
NO PROBLEMO.
59
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:49,997
JUST PUT YOURSELF
IN THE HANDS
60
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,966
OF MASTER
BUILDER URKEL.
61
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,535
OKAY, YOU READ
THE INSTRUCTIONS
62
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,637
WHILE I LAY OUT
ALL THE PIECES.
63
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:57,971
OKAY.
64
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,209
"MUN-JE IL--
CHEE-GOOM
65
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,911
"IN-UHN
MUHL-GOHN DUHRURH
66
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,679
"CHOGNG HWAK-KI
67
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,949
CHOM-KOHM
HA-SHIP-SHI-YO."
68
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,386
WHAT ARE YOU
BABBLING ABOUT?
69
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,887
THIS PAGE
IS IN KOREAN.
70
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:16,657
TSK, TSK, TSK.
THEY MISSPELLED THREE WORDS.
71
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,595
YOU CAN READ KOREAN?
72
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,864
WHY, SURE, IT'S
A BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE.
73
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,968
I'LL TEACH YOU. LET'S START
WITH A COMMON KOREAN PHRASE.
74
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:31,372
NOMO-GIETS-ITSOMERA.
75
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,308
MUT-IROSOMERA.
76
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,709
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
77
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,746
I'VE FALLEN
AND I CAN'T GET UP.
78
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,518
I'LL GET US SOME TOOLS.
79
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,554
YOU, LAY OUT ALL
THE PIECES.
80
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,391
I'VE FALLEN
AND I CAN'T GET UP.
81
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,330
HARRIETTE,
MAYBE I SHOULDN'T
HAVE ASKED CARL
82
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,831
TO BUILD
RICHIE'S PLAYHOUSE.
83
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:01,068
AFTER ALL, HE'S NOT
EXACTLY MR. FIX-IT.
84
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,636
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
85
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:05,406
REMEMBER LAST MONTH
HE INSTALLED THAT
EXTRA LIGHT SOCKET?
86
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:08,141
IT WORKS PERFECTLY.
87
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:09,510
THAT'S TRUE,
88
00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:13,781
AND HIS EYEBROWS HAVE
JUST ABOUT GROWN BACK.
89
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:17,150
JOLENE, I'VE GOT A
CHEST HAIR UPDATE FOR YOU.
90
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,152
I'M UP TO A DOZEN.
91
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:22,523
BY THIS SUMMER...
I SHOULD BE A RUG.
92
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:26,727
ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.
93
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,497
I CAN'T FIND
MY SCREWDRIVER.
94
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,064
I DIDN'T TAKE IT.
95
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,600
ME, NEITHER.
96
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:42,710
EXCUSE ME.
97
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,612
EXCUSE ME.
98
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,915
DAD, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF
A VERY IMPORTANT CONVERSATION.
99
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:54,655
BINKY BEAR CAN'T WAIT
TO SEE HIS WINKY BEAR.
100
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:58,726
EDWARD, HAVE YOU SEEN
MY PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER?
101
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:01,361
YEAH, LAST WEEK,
I USED IT
TO FIX MY BIKE.
102
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,063
WELL, WHERE IS IT NOW?
103
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,465
DAD, I DON'T KNOW.
104
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:06,366
I'M BUSY HERE.
105
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,770
SORRY, WINKY BEAR,
BUT BINKY BEAR
106
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:13,140
HAS TO TALK
TO PAPA BEAR. BYE-BYE.
107
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,576
DAD, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DID THAT!
108
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,811
EDWARD, WHAT DID YOU DO
WITH MY SCREWDRIVER?
109
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,648
-I DON'T REMEMBER.
-YOU DON'T REMEMBER?
110
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,250
WHY CAN'T YOU REMEMBER
WHERE YOU PUT
ONE SCREWDRIVER?
111
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,018
BECAUSE THAT'S
NOT IMPORTANT.
112
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,054
GIVE ME
A BREAK, OKAY?
113
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:35,162
EDWARD, I HAVE TOLD YOU
A THOUSAND TIMES
114
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,832
THAT WHEN YOU BORROW
MY TOOLS, PUT THEM BACK
WHERE THEY BELONG.
115
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,801
OKAY, OKAY.
116
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:44,572
YOU KNOW BETTER THAN
TO MISPLACE MY TOOLS.
117
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,541
MY DAD MISPLACED ONE
OF HIS TOOLS ONCE.
118
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,342
BOY, WAS HE UPSET.
119
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,512
OF COURSE, HE'S
A BRAIN SURGEON.
120
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,547
SO, IT'S TOUGH WONDERING
WHICH OF YOUR PATIENTS
121
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,650
HAS A CLAMP
IN HIS CRANIUM.
122
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:59,587
STEVE, THIS IS
A FAMILY DISCUSSION.
123
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:03,457
AND I'M DARN PROUD
TO BE PART OF IT.
124
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,526
SHOO, SHOO, SHOO, SHOO.
125
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,562
EDWARD, I WANT TO KNOW
126
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,330
WHERE MY SCREWDRIVER IS.
127
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:14,201
DAD, I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.
LOOK, I'LL BUY YOU A NEW ONE.
128
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,436
EDWARD, I CAN DO THAT MYSELF.
129
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,371
GREAT. THANKS, DAD.
130
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,541
HOLD IT!
131
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,576
EDWARD, YOU'RE STILL
MISSING THE POINT HERE.
132
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,044
WHAT IS THE POINT?
133
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,814
THE POINT IS, THIS
SCREWDRIVER INCIDENT
134
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,549
IS JUST
ANOTHER EXAMPLE
135
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,450
OF YOUR TOTAL LACK
OF RESPECT
136
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,419
FOR PEOPLE AND
THEIR PROPERTY.
137
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:33,854
IT IS?
138
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:35,388
YES, IT IS.
139
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,924
YOU START OFF BY
FORGETTING SCREWDRIVERS,
140
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,392
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE DROPPING
OUT OF SCHOOL,
141
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,728
YOU CAN'T GET A JOB,
142
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,763
AND YOU WIND UP WEARING
A CARDBOARD BELT,
143
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,899
SELLING YOUR BLOOD
FOR A BOWL OF SOUP.
144
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,901
WHAT KIND OF SOUP?
145
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,270
WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES THAT MAKE?
146
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:54,074
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S YOUR STORY.
147
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,109
UH, I GOT TO GET GOING.
148
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:59,547
HOLD IT, EDWARD.
WE ARE NOT THROUGH HERE.
149
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:02,215
-I'VE TO GET READY FOR MY DATE.
-NO, YOU DON'T.
150
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,484
YOU'RE GROUNDED.
151
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,119
WHAT?
152
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,788
OVER A STUPID
SCREWDRIVER?
153
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:10,223
SON, IT'S NOT
THE SCREWDRIVER.
154
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,892
IT'S YOUR ATTITUDE
I DON'T LIKE.
155
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,895
WELL, MAYBE I DON'T LIKE
YOUR ATTITUDE.
156
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,565
UH-OH.
157
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,169
ALRIGHT. THAT'S IT.
GO TO YOUR ROOM.
158
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,370
LOOK, DAD--
159
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,805
GO!
160
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:31,945
CARL, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
TRANSCENDENTAL MEDITATION?
161
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,449
AS THE GREAT MAHARISHI
MOSKVICH ONCE SAID--
162
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,918
SCRAM!
163
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:40,954
THAT'S NOT EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID
BUT IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.
164
00:08:58,471 --> 00:08:59,773
EDDIE.
165
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,508
SHH!
166
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:02,943
-GOING SOMEPLACE?
-YES.
167
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,245
I'M TAKING JOLENE
TO THE CONCERT.
168
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:07,080
AND YOUR LIFE
IN YOUR HANDS.
169
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:10,417
EDDIE, DAD GROUNDED YOU.
IF YOU LEAVE,
HE'LL KILL YOU.
170
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,052
LAURA, IT'LL BE WORTH IT
171
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,588
TO SEE JOLENE IN
HER NEW MINISKIRT.
172
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:16,489
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, EDDIE.
173
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,858
FOR WHAT?
174
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,293
YOU'LL BE MAKING LICENSE PLATE
FOR YOUR FIRST CAR.
175
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,896
LAURA, THANKS FOR
YOUR CONCERN.
176
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:26,199
BUT AS THEY SAY
IN FRANCE, SIONARA.
177
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,829
DAD! HI.
178
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:56,930
HI.
179
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,900
HEY, YOU FOUND
THAT SCREWDRIVER.
180
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:02,836
WELL, ACTUALLY,
URKEL FOUND IT.
181
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,405
HE USED HIS METAL DETECTOR
AND COMBED OUR BACKYARD.
182
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:08,608
HE FOUND THE SCREWDRIVER,
38 CENTS,
183
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:11,078
AND A MOOD RING.
184
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,813
GREAT.
185
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,614
SO WHERE WERE YOU?
186
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:17,584
UH, I WAS IN THE GARAGE
187
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,687
LOOKING FOR
THE SCREWDRIVER?
188
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,691
REALLY? SO IS THIS
189
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,558
YOUR SCREWDRIVER
HUNTING OUTFIT?
190
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,560
WELL, I--I...
191
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,863
LIPSTICK
ON THE COLLAR.
192
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,835
EDWARD,
WERE YOU NECKING
193
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,804
WITH THE
WEED-WHACKER AGAIN?
194
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:43,010
OKAY, DAD, I WENT TO
THE CONCERT WITH JOLENE.
195
00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:46,880
YOU, UH...
196
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,216
YOU REALLY LIKE
THAT GIRL, DON'T YOU?
197
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,651
I SURE DO, DAD.
198
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:58,125
I HOPE SHE'S WORTH
DYING FOR.
199
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,192
LOOK, DAD--
200
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,227
NO, YOU LOOK.
201
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:03,530
EDWARD, I WENT UP TO
YOUR ROOM TO APOLOGIZE
202
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,033
THINKING MAYBE I WAS
TOO ROUGH ON YOU.
203
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,068
BUT JUDGING FROM YOUR BEHAVIOR,
204
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,970
I HAVEN'T BEEN
ROUGH ENOUGH.
205
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:11,671
DAD, YOU JUST
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
206
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,707
THIS DATE WAS REALLY
IMPORTANT TO ME TONIGHT.
207
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,308
WELL, I HOPE
YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF.
208
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,145
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
HAVE ANOTHER ONE
FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
209
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,014
-YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR ONE MONTH.
-WHAT? NO WAY.
210
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,350
-MAKE THAT TWO MONTHS!
-WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?
211
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,719
MOM, DAD'S ACTING LIKE
A MANIAC AGAIN.
212
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,120
MAKE THAT THREE MONTHS!
213
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,222
-CARL!
-LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
214
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,959
AS LONG AS YOU
LIVE UNDER MY ROOF,
215
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,927
YOU WILL
LIVE BY MY RULES.
216
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,163
THEN MAYBE I SHOULD
FIND ANOTHER ROOF.
217
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,364
EDDIE!
218
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:40,067
-SO YOU'RE MOVING OUT?
-WELL, YEAH.
219
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,268
WELL, FINE!
220
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,335
FINE!
221
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,204
FINE!
222
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,707
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
223
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,743
FINE!
FINE!
224
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,666
CARL.
225
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,302
I DON'T WANT
TO HEAR IT!
226
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:16,904
WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO.
227
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,872
THIS THING'S GOTTEN
WAY OUT OF HAND.
228
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,540
WE CAN'T LET EDDIE MOVE OUT.
229
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,309
WHERE'S EDDIE GOING?
230
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,311
NOWHERE. GO BACK TO BED.
231
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,213
CAN I HAVE HIS ROOM?
232
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,015
GO!
233
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:32,019
GUYS, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.
234
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,922
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE ASKED YOU TO
PUT TOGETHER RICHIE'S PLAYHOUSE.
235
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,224
I'M HIS MOTHER.IT'S
MY RESPONSIBILITY.
236
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,059
TRUE, I'M NO GOOD
AT THOSE THINGS,
237
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,261
BUT WE LEARN
BY DOING.
238
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:42,329
RACHEL--
239
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,564
BUT I DIDN'T DO.
NOW LOOK
WHAT I'VE DONE.
240
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:47,835
YOU'RE MAD AT EDDIE, EDDIE'S MAD
AT YOU, I'M MAD AT ME.
241
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:51,004
I TELL YOU,
THIS IS A MADHOUSE.
242
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,907
THIS WHOLE FAMILY
HAS GONE OFF
THE DEEP END.
243
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:57,510
CARL, WE CAN'T LET
OUR SON MOVE OUT.
244
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:58,912
HARRIETTE...
245
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,781
I WILL NOT TOLERATE
OUTRIGHT DISOBEDIENCE.
246
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,216
NOW, I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH,
247
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,019
BUT THERE'S ONE THING I DO
DEMAND AND THAT'S RESPECT.
248
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,988
YOU KNOW
EDDIE RESPECTS YOU.
249
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:11,124
HARRIETTE, THE BOY
DELIBERATELY ANTAGONIZES ME.
250
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:13,827
HE KNOWS EVERYTHING
THAT GETS MY GOAT.
251
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,996
CARL, BE FAIR.
252
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:19,900
YOUR GOAT'S GOTTEN OLD,
AND IT'S EASIER TO GET.
253
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:21,935
OH, SURE.
TAKE HIS SIDE.
254
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,438
THERE ARE NO SIDES HERE.
WE'RE A FAMILY.
255
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,075
PLEASE GO UP
AND TALK TO EDDIE
AND SETTLE THIS.
256
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,110
HARRIETTE, HE'S THE ONE
WHO DISOBEYED.
257
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,945
HE'S THE ONE
WHO WANTS TO LEAVE.
258
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:36,049
SO, HE'S THE ONE WHO
HAS TO COME TO ME.
259
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,118
CARL--
260
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,587
HARRIETTE,
I HAVE SPOKEN!
261
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:50,363
WHATEVER YOU SAY,
KING CARL.
262
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,900
BUT IF PRINCE EDWARD
LEAVES THIS KINGDOM,
263
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,835
YOU WILL BE SLEEPING
ON THE ROYAL COUCH.
264
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,044
EDDIE...
265
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:05,578
GO BACK UPSTAIRS.
266
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:10,450
MOM, I'M LEAVING. DON'T TRY
AND TALK ME OUT OF IT.
267
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,919
OH?
268
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,121
WELL,
WHERE YOU GOING?
269
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,524
SOMEPLACE WHERE
THEY DON'T HAVE
ANY SCREWDRIVERS.
270
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,127
YOU KNOW THIS FIGHT'S
NOT ABOUT SCREWDRIVERS.
271
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,029
IT'S BECAUSE YOU
DISOBEYED YOUR FATHER.
272
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,097
BUT, HE DIDN'T
HAVE TO GROUND ME.
273
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,598
THAT WAS
EXCESSIVE PUNISHMENT.
274
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,300
POLICE BRUTALITY.
275
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,271
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO LEAVE.
276
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,206
DON'T WORRY, MOM.
I'LL BE FINE.
277
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,208
-WHERE WILL YOU SLEEP?
-I DON'T KNOW.
278
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,810
-WHAT WILL YOU DO FOR MONEY?
-I DON'T KNOW.
279
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,813
-HOW WILL YOU BUY FOOD?
-I DON'T KNOW.
280
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,284
WELL, AT LEAST
YOU HAVE A PLAN.
281
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:47,620
WELL, MOM, ANYTHING IS
BETTER THAN STAYING HERE.
282
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,122
YOUR FATHER'S
NOT THAT BAD.
283
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:52,425
OH, REALLY?
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
LIVING WITH HIM?
284
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,129
BUT DAD
DRIVES ME CRAZY.
285
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,999
DID YOU EVER THINK
THAT MAYBE YOU
DRIVE HIM CRAZY?
286
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:02,502
SURE, TAKE HIS SIDE.
287
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,038
EDDIE.
288
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,374
YOU KNOW YOUR
FATHER LOVES YOU.
289
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,476
MOM, HE SURE DOESN'T
ACT LIKE IT.
290
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:12,079
NO MATTER WHAT I DO,
IT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.
291
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,114
HE'S ALWAYS ON MY BACK.
292
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:16,316
I DON'T EVEN THINK
HE LIKES ME.
293
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,090
WAIT HERE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
294
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,764
HARRIETTE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
295
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,600
COME, COME.
COME ON. SIT DOWN.
296
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,502
EDWARD, YOU, TOO.
297
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:36,769
HARRIETTE--
MOM--
298
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,005
SIT!
299
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:41,341
THE REASON YOU TWO
DON'T GET ALONG
300
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,110
IS BECAUSE YOU'RE SO MUCH ALIKE.
301
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,045
NO WAY!
NO WAY!
302
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,313
LOOK AT THIS.
303
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,049
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT
MEN IN MY LIFE
304
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,550
ACTING LIKE
BIG BABIES.
305
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,651
HE STARTED IT.
306
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:52,819
NUH-UH!
DID, TOO.
307
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,587
DID'NT.
DID!
308
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,724
LISTEN UP, YOU TWO!
309
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,660
NOW, I WANT
TO TELL YOU A STORY--
310
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:01,894
-MOM!
-AW, HARRIETTE--
311
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,963
AH! UNH!
312
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,600
NOW...
313
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,602
THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
314
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,105
IT HAPPENED 16 YEARS AGO...
315
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:16,009
ON JANUARY 28, 1974.
316
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,012
MY BIRTHDAY?
317
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,480
IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE,
318
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:23,450
BUT YOU WERE
AS IMPATIENT THEN
AS YOU ARE NOW.
319
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,654
WE HAD JUST MOVED
INTO THIS HOUSE.
320
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,524
AND WE HADN'T FINISHED
UNPACKING. IT WAS 1:30
IN THE MORNING,
321
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,394
IN THE MIDDLE OF
A TERRIBLE SNOWSTORM.
322
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,263
ALRIGHT.
323
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,464
OKAY
324
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,710
OKAY
325
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,812
CARL!
326
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,714
YOU'RE FORGETTING
TWO THINGS--
327
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,616
YOUR WIFE
AND YOUR PANTS.
328
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:57,917
OH!
329
00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,420
OH, MY GOD.
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
330
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:01,921
ARE YOU OKAY?
331
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,490
YEAH,
I'M JUST SWELL.
332
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,559
COME ON, LET'S GO
CUT SOME LUMBER.
333
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,863
IT'S A WONDER
YOU EVER MADE A BABY
334
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,632
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
335
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,469
THINGS WENT
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
336
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,037
WE WERE COMPLETELY
SNOWED IN.
337
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,406
THE PHONES WERE DEAD,
338
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,841
AND WE HAD NO WAY
TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL.
339
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:25,912
SO WE DID WHAT
ANYONE WOULD DO--
WE PANICKED.
340
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,081
CARL...RELAX.
341
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,083
RELAX. RELAX.
342
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,185
YEAH, RELAX.
UH-HUH.
343
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,586
NOW, YOU'RE A COP.
344
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,021
I'M A COP.
345
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,789
YOU'RE TRAINED TO HANDLE
THESE SITUATIONS.
346
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:40,059
I'M TRAINED.
I TOOK A CLASS ONCE.
347
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,594
THE BABY
WAS PLASTIC.
348
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,697
I PUT HIM
ON THE RADIATOR,
AND HE MELTED.
349
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,166
AAH!
350
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,668
AAH! WHAT HAPPENED?
TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
351
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,670
-GO BOIL SOME WATER!
-GOOD IDEA!
352
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:51,904
I COULD
USE SOME COFFEE!
353
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,673
AAH!
354
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,543
TEA! COCOA! SWEETHEART,
355
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,011
I'LL DRINK
ANYTHING YOU WANT!
356
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,548
AAH! OH! CARL, CARL,
THE BABY'S COMING!
357
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,184
HAND ME A PILLOW!
HAND ME A PILLOW!
358
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,885
PILLOW! PILLOW!
359
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,255
OH!
360
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,590
I CAN'T
FIND A PILLOW!
361
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,626
OH!
362
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,961
CARL! CARL! CARL!
363
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:16,963
PILLOW! PILLOW!
PILLOW!
364
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,465
OH!
365
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,032
OH! OH!
366
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,569
HARRIETTE, YOU'RE
FALLING OFF THE COUCH!
367
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:23,603
OH!
368
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,037
GET IT TOGETHER, BABE!
369
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,373
OH! OH!
370
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,808
WHAT ELSE DO YOU
WANT ME TO DO?
371
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,009
LET'S BREATHE.
372
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:31,043
LET'S BREATHE.
373
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,078
BREATHE.
374
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,180
BREATHE, CARL.
375
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,748
OKAY WE'RE
BREATHING. OKAY.
376
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,886
I LOVE YOU, HONEY.
377
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,654
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
378
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,723
BUT YOU'RE NEVER
TOUCHING ME AGAIN.
379
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,966
FINALLY THE PHONE STARTED
WORKING AGAIN.
380
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,735
AND WE CALLED OUR DOCTOR.
381
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,470
HE SKIED RIGHT OVER
382
00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,373
JUST IN TIME TO BE TOO LATE.
383
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:04,677
CARL, YOU DID
A GREAT JOB.
384
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,079
GEE, THANKS, DOC.
385
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,782
YOUR WIFE AND YOUR SON
ARE DOING JUST FINE.
386
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,384
THANKS. OKAY.
387
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,190
HELLO, MOM.
388
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,659
HELLO, DAD.
389
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,861
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HOLD YOUR SON?
390
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,663
OH, YEAH.
391
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,174
HELLO, EDWARD.
392
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:38,245
I'M YOUR DAD.
393
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,149
ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL?
394
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,817
OH, YEAH.
395
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,953
LOOKS
JUST LIKE YOU.
396
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:50,390
I THINK HE LOOKS
MORE LIKE YOU.
397
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,191
YEAH, HE DOES.
398
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,127
EDWARD.
399
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,563
MY SON.
400
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,600
WHAT A WONDERFUL WORD.
401
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:05,938
YOU KNOW, I'M REAL
NERVOUS RIGHT NOW.
402
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,641
I NEVER BEEN
A FATHER BEFORE.
403
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,877
THEN AGAIN, YOU NEVER
BEEN A SON BEFORE.
404
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:13,346
I TELL YOU WHAT--
405
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,815
WE'LL LEARN TOGETHER.
406
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:20,587
I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU...
407
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,690
I LOVE YOU
WITH ALL OF MY HEART.
408
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,693
AND I'LL NEVER FORGET
HOW PROUD I AM...
409
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,961
RIGHT NOW....
410
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,363
SON.
411
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,984
DID YOU REALLY
SAY THOSE THINGS?
412
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,423
WELL...AHEM.
413
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,558
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
414
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:05,665
DAD, I'M SORRY
I DISOBEYED YOU.
415
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:08,301
I SHOULDN'T
HAVE SNUCK OUT.
416
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,337
WELL, I MIGHT HAVE
OVER-REACTED...
417
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:11,738
A LITTLE.
418
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,806
I CAN PROMISE YOU
ONE THING--
419
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,709
I'LL NEVER LOSE
ANOTHER SCREWDRIVER.
420
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:20,480
YOU KNOW...
421
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:22,915
I REMEMBER ONCE...
422
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,918
I USED
MY FATHER'S HAMMER
423
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:28,655
TO MIX
A CAN OF PAINT.
424
00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:31,624
AT THE TIME,
HE DIDN'T THINK
425
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,993
THAT HAMMERS
SHOULD BE PURPLE.
426
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,363
MAN.
427
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:40,066
HE GROUNDED ME
FOR ONE WHOLE WEEK.
428
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:44,937
MAN, I THOUGHT
HE WAS THE WORLD'S
BIGGEST JERK.
429
00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:46,639
NOW LOOK AT ME.
430
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,541
I'M HIM.
431
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,978
DAD, IF IT MAKES YOU
FEEL ANY BETTER,
432
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:56,883
ONE DAY I'LL PROBABLY HAVE A KID
WHO'LL DRIVE ME CRAZY, TOO.
433
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:59,018
I SURE HOPE SO.
434
00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:07,760
DAD...
435
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:11,030
I'D LIKE TO STAY.
436
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:16,769
I WOULD LIKE THAT,
TOO, SON.
29244
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