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Good morning, mother and father.
4
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:12,675
Good morning, tinashe.
5
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,427
Good morning, mother and father.
6
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,262
Good morning, omma.
7
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:19,181
Good morning, mother and father,
and happy anniversary.
8
00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:20,891
Yes, meeka.
9
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,145
It is our anniversary.
10
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:31,068
Today, we celebrate
30 years of zamuna'an prosper/134
11
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:35,239
30 years of service to our great nation
12
00:02:36,115 --> 00:02:39,535
and 30 years of delicious fast food.
13
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,080
We want to welcome you all
to mcdowell's zamunda.
14
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:51,505
The mcdowell's menu is in no way
influenced by the McDonald's menu.
15
00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:53,466
They've got egg mcmuffins.
16
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:55,676
We've got egg mcstuffins.
17
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,804
We are also celebrating the arrival
18
00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:03,100
of our new beyond big Mick burger!
19
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:06,479
And it's all part
of my lovely granddaughter's campaign
20
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,939
to reduce our... our what?
21
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,149
Carbon footprint.
22
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:13,235
And without using any animal by-products.
23
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:16,197
It's just good old-fashioned grass.
24
00:03:18,449 --> 00:03:20,409
- So there's no meat?
- There's no meat.
25
00:03:22,078 --> 00:03:24,747
Beautiful, leafy taste.
26
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,916
80 delicious.
27
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:29,043
Maybe it would taste much better with a...
28
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:31,796
Pepsl
29
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,800
Pepsi, the official soft drink
of mcdowell's zamunda.
30
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,079
You look tired, father.
31
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:07,581
Maybe he needs a nap.
32
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,045
I am the heir to the throne of zamunda.
33
00:04:13,129 --> 00:04:15,339
I shall not be shamed by my two daughters.
34
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:16,590
Three daughters!
35
00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,445
- Yeah!
- Yes, sisters!
36
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,531
Behold! Prince akeem
in his natural element,
37
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,826
cowering at the mercy
of the women in his life.
38
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,929
Semmi, perhaps you would like
to spar with my daughters
39
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,496
and teach them some combinations.
40
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,500
No doubt, you are
their best teacher, your majesty.
41
00:04:51,584 --> 00:04:54,920
It is my daughters that teach me
in the languages of the modern world.
42
00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:57,631
For instance,
are my princely robes not on fleek?
43
00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:00,759
Oh, my god, father.
To be on fleek is no more.
44
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:01,844
Really?
45
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:07,141
- I rather enjoyed being on fleek.
- Your father has sent for you.
46
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,018
He has an urgent matter
to discuss with you.
47
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:12,229
Tell me, semmi, this urgent matter...
48
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:14,732
Does it concern my marriage to a suitor
49
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,151
who shall one day sit
on the throne of zamunda?
50
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,986
I will talk to father alone.
51
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,452
And how is my father today?
52
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,163
He has already ordered
my execution three times.
53
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:31,332
Then he must be feeling better.
54
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:32,666
Prince akeem!
55
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,418
Nexdorian soldiers.
56
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,420
I could not stop. They are coming.
57
00:05:55,981 --> 00:06:01,529
Presenting the supreme leader of nexdoria,
58
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:05,908
the conqueror of countries and hearts,
59
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,910
the wrestler of lions,
60
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,079
the tamer of elephants,
61
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:13,249
the inspiration for mufasa...
62
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:21,423
The most well-endowed man in Africa,
63
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:26,345
general izzi.
64
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,485
Prince akeem.
65
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,487
Look at you.
66
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:51,245
My condolences this day
for your father, the king.
67
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,956
Many thanks for your well wishes,
general izzi,
68
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,292
but as you know, my father still breathes.
69
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,670
Barely, but for how long?
70
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,380
Why have you come here, general?
71
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,841
Thirty years ago,
you left my sister at the altar.
72
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,301
Oh, here we go.
73
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:06,385
Now look at she.
74
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,685
Imani, always a pleasure.
75
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:20,482
If you had married her,
our countries would be united,
76
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:23,902
putting an end to decades
of suffering for all our people.
77
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:27,990
General, throughout the years,
we have tried to help nexdoria many times.
78
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,951
I would like nothing more
than to help your country
79
00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:32,828
relieve its burden of poverty.
80
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:36,165
Zamunda can only afford so much.
81
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,626
I did not come here for money.
82
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:41,086
I came here for blood.
83
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,299
But not the murder kind.
84
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,801
No, no, no, family blood.
85
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:50,179
Marriage blood, yes?
86
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:57,061
Has your daughter considered
the proposal from my son?
87
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,396
Hey, prince-o.
88
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,148
My fellow player.
89
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,151
Yes.
90
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:07,905
I do not think that he and meeka
will ever happen.
91
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,368
Even
92
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,668
there is bopoto, my daughter.
93
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,544
Perhaps your son can be...
94
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,465
But you don't have one.
95
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,634
The shame must be unbearable,
96
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,095
as a man, as a king,
97
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,348
without an heir with a nut sack.
98
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,395
Thank you for your visit, general.
99
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:41,021
Seeing you brings to mind
100
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:43,732
all of my father's
favorite curses for you.
101
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:47,653
To call you a shit stain
brought him much joy.
102
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:51,031
I advise you to reconsider my offer.
103
00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:54,618
It is better to be bound
by blood and marriage
104
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:58,956
than be divided by blood and war.
105
00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:17,141
My time has come, my son.
106
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:21,895
You must heed my words before I'm gone.
107
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:23,739
Please don't leave us so soon,
your highness.
108
00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:25,149
Zamunda needs you.
109
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,025
Oh, shut up, semmi!
110
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:29,278
You don't have to suck up to me anymore.
111
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,696
I'll be dead soon.
112
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,407
Why couldn't it be you, semmi?
113
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,783
Yes, your majesty.
114
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:36,869
His life is far too worthless.
115
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:40,080
His death would make me smile.
116
00:09:40,164 --> 00:09:41,165
Baba.
117
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:46,128
The throne must pass to a male heir.
118
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,630
Yes, father. A male heir.
119
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,383
Once again, I apologize to you
120
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:54,011
for all of the shame and disappointment
121
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,555
that my offspring's
genetic makeup has caused you.
122
00:09:56,638 --> 00:10:01,977
My son, it appears
your shortcomings in masculinity
123
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,104
have turned out to be unfounded.
124
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:08,108
I seen it in a vision.
125
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,487
You got a son.
126
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,073
It is true.
127
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,660
You have a son, akeem.
128
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,206
A bastard son.
129
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,291
That is impossible.
130
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:27,461
The only woman
I have ever lain with is Lisa.
131
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,881
Father, I did not sow my royal oats.
132
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:34,343
Semmi!
133
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,222
Tell akeem the truth at once.
134
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:46,146
Remember in queens, night after night,
135
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:48,315
you were looking for the perfect woman?
136
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,691
Yes.
137
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:52,820
Well, I too was... how can I say this?
138
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,866
I was looking for the perfect vagina.
139
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:01,787
Or any vagina.
140
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:06,500
We scoured the far reaches
of that loathsome city,
141
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,753
searching rather unsuccessfully
for the woman of your dreams.
142
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,464
My name is peaches, and I'm the best
143
00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:15,008
all the DJs want to feel my breast
144
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:19,513
I've been watching you all evening,
and I wanna tear you apart.
145
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:22,933
And your friend too.
146
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,354
I am going to mingle.
147
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,314
I had had enough.
148
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:34,319
And / realized, if / was ever going
to sow my oats on American sail,
149
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:37,739
I was going to need to find someone
to take care of you.
150
00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:40,534
But don't worry, I never broke our oath
151
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,995
of keeping our identity a secret.
152
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,079
A prince?
153
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,165
Yes, a prince.
154
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,794
But he cannot know
that you know who he is.
155
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,672
We are undercover africans.
156
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:57,301
Africans undercover.
Oh, that's good, baby.
157
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,761
You ain't got to lie like that
to get some of this ass.
158
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,906
But you know what?
I'll bump uglies with your homeboy.
159
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,515
Just let me go throw up real quick
160
00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:07,561
and then we can, you know,
get it crackin'.
161
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,901
I may not have been thinking stra/ght.
162
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,111
In my defense, it had been weeks
163
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:19,406
since the last time / was tended to
by the royal bathers.
164
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:22,868
But at the time,
it seemed hire a good plan.
165
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:30,918
I hope you like pumpkin pie.
166
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,588
'Cause you gonna get a whole slice.
167
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,551
That is not what happened, father.
168
00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:42,179
I remember meeting
this morally bereft woman,
169
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,598
but there was no inappropriate mating.
170
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:47,225
She ofi'ered me
some of her ceremonial herbs.
171
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:51,939
Princey.
172
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,774
And then, if memory serves,
173
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,692
a wild boar burst into the room.
174
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,028
It came and jumped into my lap.
175
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,488
And then it began to ram me.
176
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:02,491
And ram me and ram me,
ramming and ramming!
177
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,034
And a foul...
178
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,794
You fool, what have you done to me?
179
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,546
- Go on, son. Just kill him.
- Kill him!
180
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,301
- So I actually have a son?
- A bastard son.
181
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:27,099
Why was his existence
hidden from me all these years?
182
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:31,353
I was hoping you would put
a stem on an apple of your own.
183
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:36,274
The royal artist made a sketch
of my vision.
184
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,903
This is your bastard.
185
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,197
Hear me, prince akeem.
186
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:46,284
General izzi, he will use
the passing of our great king
187
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:49,329
as a sign to attack the weak one.
188
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,580
The weak one?
189
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,709
Am I the weak one?
190
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,461
I spoiled you, my son.
191
00:13:56,545 --> 00:14:01,049
You are not strong or ruthless as I am.
192
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,385
You will be assassinated.
193
00:14:06,138 --> 00:14:07,389
Within a week.
194
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,141
Month, tops.
195
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:12,477
Prince akeem, follow the thunderbird.
196
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,438
It will take you to your boy.
197
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,441
- Follow the thunderbird?
- This is madness.
198
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,377
If my family were
to ever find out about this...
199
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,111
You will be safe.
200
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:24,072
Our people will be safe.
201
00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:27,576
It is the only way. You must.
202
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:35,667
Easy, my father.
203
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,045
The end is near.
204
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,131
My funeral...
205
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:45,177
Should be spectacular.
206
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,638
Yeah, it will, papa.
207
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:53,185
Let's have it now while I'm alive.
208
00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:57,064
It shall be glorious.
209
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,319
In the beginning, the universe began.
210
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,530
Stars, planets,
211
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:08,325
all the visible objects in the universe
212
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:12,746
came to be with a single purpose:
213
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:16,958
To prepare the way for
the grandest creation of all,
214
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:20,087
the birth of jaffe joffer.
215
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,802
But today,
216
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:30,180
we gather for a moment or two
217
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,390
to give much respect due
218
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:36,353
to the king who made
a difference in our world.
219
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,148
Zamundans, I give you...
220
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,109
En vogue.
221
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,445
- Yeah - what a king
222
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:46,822
what a king, what a king
223
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,532
what a mighty good king
224
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,408
I'ma say it again now
225
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:52,369
what a king, what a king, what a king
226
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,162
what a mighty good king
227
00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:55,747
he is a m/ghty, mighty good king...
228
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:58,291
And now... salt-n-pepa!
229
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:03,338
Il/ly king is smooth like Barack
but his voice got bass
230
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,507
a Michael 5. Body with a Denzel face
231
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:08,468
boss moves like hov
face on his own money
232
00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,429
he is good in every hood
and he's got his own country
233
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:13,974
he looking like a meal
every time I see him
234
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:17,018
a lo ver and a leader
other kings couldn't be him
235
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:19,604
he dresses like a dapper Don
but even in jeans
236
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:22,399
he is a godsent original
the king of my dreams
237
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,650
- yeah - what a king
238
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,610
what a king, what a king, what a king
239
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,279
what a mighty good king
240
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,156
so good, so good, so good
241
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,533
what a king, what a king, what a king
242
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,034
what a mighty good king
243
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,887
Zamunda!
244
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:01,021
With the passing of the great king,
245
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,524
the world changed forever.
246
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:10,071
When he died, no one ever smiled again.
247
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,991
Vacations were canceled.
248
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,951
Holidays ignored.
249
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,203
He '5 Lea ving...
250
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,455
People didn't even have sex anymore.
251
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:26,588
Our great king had gone away forever.
252
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:29,966
Gladys knight.
253
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,719
He '5 Lea ving
254
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,346
leaving
255
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,598
on that midnight train
256
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,350
from zamunda
257
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,435
leaving on the midnight train
258
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,187
- yes, he is -son.
259
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,064
Yes, my father.
260
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,357
Said he is going up
261
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,525
up, up, up, up
262
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:50,445
- going up to that great...
- Remember what I told you.
263
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:53,114
8ahara in the sky...
264
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:54,366
I'm going to die now.
265
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:55,700
Oh, yes, he is...
266
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,827
Come now, father.
Everything is going to be...
267
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,789
Oh, please don't leave us
268
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,999
take us instead
269
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,502
take us on that midnight train
270
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,087
- father?
- From zamunda
271
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,673
take us on the midnight train
272
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,716
from zamunda
273
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,595
'cause this nation's only hope
274
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,681
next ruler of this land
275
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:21,017
is a son who can't have a son
276
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:22,143
of his own
277
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,104
what's even the point?
278
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,856
There is not even a point
279
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:30,110
sad, sad, sad
280
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,091
I just lost the greatest man in my life.
281
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:57,178
Soon, nexdorian warriors
will assassinate me.
282
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,557
And I have a child
on the other side of the world.
283
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,184
Take heart in your grief.
284
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:04,686
You are king now.
285
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,146
Be as your father.
286
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,522
Bark orders at me.
287
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,816
Throw things at me.
It will make you happy.
288
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,032
Prepare the royal jet.
289
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,869
We are going back to america.
290
00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:24,622
Oh, hell no, your majesty!
291
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:26,541
Now, I will find this bastard of queens,
292
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,251
and I will look into his eyes,
293
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,880
and if I see the strength of our
ancestors, I shall know he is of my blood.
294
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:35,216
Then he must come back to zamunda
and take the princely test.
295
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,969
Heir to the throne of zamunda,
296
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,096
born in america...
297
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,892
Land of opportunity.
298
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:49,189
What kind of man do you think he is?
299
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,858
This bastard.
300
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:55,278
If he has joffer blood
running through his veins,
301
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:58,156
I'm sure he's destined for greatness.
302
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:08,458
You think you look respectable?
303
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,793
I just want to look employable.
304
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:13,838
Ain't nobody gonna hire you over all
these mitt-romney-looking-ass shmiggas.
305
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,882
Why not? I got sales experience.
306
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,967
Which reminds me...
St. John's is at the garden.
307
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,969
Now, I want you to take
these tickets up there.
308
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,971
Sell 'em at full freight until tip-off.
309
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,766
I can't do this shit
no more, man. I really can't.
310
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:27,310
This hand-to-mouth shit,
it's got to stop, all right?
311
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,063
I got to get solid. I'm in my 30s now.
312
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,689
Since when?
313
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:32,774
Today!
314
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,693
Today.
315
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,237
Today is my birthday.
316
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,863
And you forgot.
317
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:42,033
Listen to me, young jedi, okay?
318
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:45,161
What you need to do is learn to relax.
I'm your uncle.
319
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,455
You stay on the ground with me.
You dig it, son?
320
00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:48,665
L.junson.
321
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,459
Don't use white voice.
322
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:53,420
Present.
323
00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,630
I do know smartphones.
324
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,507
I know technology, all right?
325
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,510
I'm well-versed in emerging trends.
326
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,595
And I'll tell you this too.
327
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:05,348
If you hire me, I won't let you down.
328
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,308
That's really inspiring.
329
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:09,853
So, just give me a chance, Mr. Duke.
330
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,313
Oh, my god, please. My father is Mr. Duke.
331
00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:15,191
And my grandfather and great-uncle,
332
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,193
who founded Duke & Duke.
333
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:19,237
- Please just call me Calvin.
- All right.
334
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,488
I'm calling you Calvin.
335
00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:23,283
I noticed here, under education, that...
336
00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:26,035
Did it say that
you didn't graduate college?
337
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,080
Well, yeah, see, I was three credits short
from getting my business degree,
338
00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:30,748
but then my mom got laid off,
339
00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:33,626
and, you know, I had to drop out
to help with the rent.
340
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:36,129
- Was she addicted to drugs or...
- What?
341
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,506
- She have gambling issues or...
- No, man.
342
00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:40,800
Pops in the picture or...
343
00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:44,554
My dad was not in the picture.
344
00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:47,390
You know, I went to boarding school,
345
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,934
so there were months
where I didn't see my parents,
346
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:52,312
except for breaks, and it can be hard.
347
00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:55,148
I mean, I've read
a lot of studies that say
348
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:57,817
that not having
a dominant male figure at home,
349
00:21:57,901 --> 00:22:00,028
it's so detrimental to a child.
350
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,614
- Do they say that?
- Yeah, they say that.
351
00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:04,491
- Who?
- Scientists.
352
00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:06,951
- Bill nye did a...
- The science guy.
353
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:09,287
Your guy, Neil degrasse Tyson.
354
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:10,747
Do you think that not having
355
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:15,418
that kind of male role model
could put you at a disadvantage?
356
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:18,838
No more of a disadvantage
than having a father
357
00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:20,673
who handed you your position.
358
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:22,175
"Handed"?
359
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:24,719
I was not handed anything.
360
00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:27,055
So you're saying
daddy never donated a building
361
00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:29,015
to get you into an Ivy league school?
362
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:30,642
No. Yeah.
363
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:33,686
Well, there was
a small off-campus library.
364
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:38,107
And daddy never had to sneak you
into an overpriced rehab facility
365
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:40,109
to cover up a cocaine addiction, Calvin?
366
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:42,403
It was oxy, and my mom took me.
367
00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:45,782
Kiss my ass, Calvin.
368
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,200
Hey, you know something?
369
00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:49,452
You've been judging me
since I walked in here.
370
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,538
Which sucks because I am so motivated.
371
00:22:51,621 --> 00:22:53,432
You know what,
I just can't wait for them to find
372
00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:55,875
blackface photos of you
from the office party.
373
00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:58,795
I was will Smith's Aladdin, okay?
374
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,296
Peace, Calvin.
375
00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:02,298
There was blueface over the black...
376
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:30,535
Much has changed in queens.
377
00:23:34,706 --> 00:23:37,250
Yes, but some things have not.
378
00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:42,422
- Floyd "money" Mayweather ain't shit!
- He beat that Filipino boy ass.
379
00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:44,299
"Pack-a-quando," "pack-a-mondo."
380
00:23:44,382 --> 00:23:47,594
Whatever his name is,
he beat that boy ass, Clarence.
381
00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:51,431
And he beat that meshuggener
Conor McGregor, the irishman.
382
00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:53,516
Yeah, 'cause he had to do that
for the blacks.
383
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,720
In this political climate,
a black man can't be taking
384
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,104
no ass-whipping from no white man.
Would've caused a riot.
385
00:23:58,187 --> 00:24:01,149
I was ready to riot anyway. I wanted
to get me one of them flat-screen tvs.
386
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:08,573
Well, I'll be damned!
Look who done come up in here.
387
00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:11,701
Hey, it's kunta kinte and ebola.
388
00:24:11,784 --> 00:24:14,329
- Famine and blood diamond.
- Nelson Mandela and winnie.
389
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,809
Those hungry babies
with the flies on their face.
390
00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:22,295
Hey. That's too much, man.
You stepped over the line now.
391
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:24,565
We don't be talking that kind
of shit about the hungry babies.
392
00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:26,734
- Get out my chair talking that shit.
- Politically incorrect.
393
00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:28,468
Somebody needs to whip your ass.
394
00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:30,345
Get up and whip him, sweets.
395
00:24:30,428 --> 00:24:32,364
Hey, don't be putting the money
in my hand all rough.
396
00:24:32,388 --> 00:24:35,492
Take your ass out of here. Buy a flowbee
and cut your own damn hair from now on.
397
00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:38,061
Right now I could rip
a new ass in that kid.
398
00:24:38,144 --> 00:24:41,105
It is so good to see you.
Your neighborhood seems to be thriving.
399
00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:42,815
That's that gentrification.
400
00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:45,336
When the colored man had
this neighborhood, it didn't have shit.
401
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,111
When the white man move in,
402
00:24:47,195 --> 00:24:49,614
they got their coffeehouses
and their dog parks,
403
00:24:49,697 --> 00:24:53,159
and my brownstone
on foch boulevard is worth $10 million.
404
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,828
Your brownstone ain't worth
no ten million.
405
00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:59,582
My brownstone is too worth $10 million!
And I'm gonna sell it and get me a Tesla.
406
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,959
America has certainly changed
since our last visit.
407
00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:05,880
Your black president finally
united this great country.
408
00:25:05,963 --> 00:25:07,590
Yeah, but it's all gone to hell now.
409
00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:10,218
We all gonna die. Just don't know how.
410
00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:11,803
It's gonna be the Nazis.
411
00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:13,346
Nazis are back,
412
00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:16,224
but now they dress
like the best buy geek squad
413
00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:18,351
and they want to kill people.
414
00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:21,896
Anybody could be a Nazi.
You ever notice that, prince?
415
00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:23,815
Akeem now is an African king.
416
00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:25,066
Well, I'll be damned.
417
00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:27,735
You got any kids? I got kids.
418
00:25:27,819 --> 00:25:31,239
In fact, I got one granddaughter
used to be my grandson.
419
00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:33,366
They can turn your penis
into a vagina now.
420
00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:35,785
It's science.
421
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:38,871
I bet they could fix them
long, sloppy titties y'all got in Africa.
422
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:42,291
You can't even squeeze a tit nowadays.
It'll get you fired.
423
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:44,752
I'm so sorry you can
no longer indiscriminately
424
00:25:44,836 --> 00:25:46,546
touch a woman's body at your every whim.
425
00:25:46,629 --> 00:25:49,215
Oh, it's okay.
I got it in when I was young.
426
00:25:55,096 --> 00:25:57,682
So what you doing back here, idiot amin?
427
00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,475
I am actually here with a purpose.
428
00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:02,145
I have just discovered
that I may have a bastard son
429
00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,397
here in this land,
conceived during my last visit.
430
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,025
The long arm of the family court
bring 'em back every time.
431
00:26:08,109 --> 00:26:10,653
How much child support
she getting from you?
432
00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:12,280
The king pays no child support.
433
00:26:12,363 --> 00:26:15,533
No child support for 30 years,
and you came back?
434
00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:16,701
You's a dummy!
435
00:26:17,702 --> 00:26:20,788
My son has been without a father
for far too long.
436
00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:23,332
I've seen him.
437
00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:25,793
That's the kid that's always
out in front of the garden.
438
00:26:25,877 --> 00:26:27,757
He scalps tickets
down at Madison square garden.
439
00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:30,423
He probably over there right now
working the St. John's game.
440
00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:32,258
Their mascot is a big Turkey.
441
00:26:32,341 --> 00:26:34,552
Hell no, it ain't. It's a thunderbird.
442
00:26:36,179 --> 00:26:38,339
- "Follow the thunderbird."
- "Follow the thunderbird."
443
00:26:38,389 --> 00:26:40,016
Hey! Come on, y'all!
444
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:42,810
I got five! Got five!
445
00:26:42,894 --> 00:26:46,105
Got five tickets
to the middle Tennessee game tonight!
446
00:26:47,273 --> 00:26:49,150
Come on, y'all! You want it, I got it!
447
00:26:49,233 --> 00:26:52,028
Hey, I got five tickets
to the middle Tennessee state game, man.
448
00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:53,446
- No.
- Come on, yo.
449
00:26:53,529 --> 00:26:55,729
What better way to spend
your night than paying to watch
450
00:26:55,782 --> 00:26:56,866
unpaid student athletes?
451
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:01,454
Semmi, look.
452
00:27:05,208 --> 00:27:07,001
It is my potential bastard son.
453
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,462
Akeem.
454
00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:11,172
You are king of zamunda.
455
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:13,591
Your noble visage is known
around the world.
456
00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:17,553
You cannot stroll down the street
like we did years ago.
457
00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:23,059
Come on, middle Tennessee state.
Come on, y'all.
458
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:25,269
They got a 7'5" center.
459
00:27:25,353 --> 00:27:27,563
Catch him before his knees pop.
460
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:31,901
Hello.
461
00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:36,656
- You want some tickets, man?
- No, thank you.
462
00:27:38,282 --> 00:27:42,328
I am king akeem joffer, king of zamunda.
463
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:44,247
And I believe that you...
464
00:27:46,207 --> 00:27:47,291
What is your name?
465
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,460
It's lavelle.
466
00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:52,588
- Lavelle junson.
- Lavelle junson,
467
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:55,341
are the heir to the throne of zamunda.
468
00:27:56,801 --> 00:28:00,638
My firstborn child and my only son.
469
00:28:02,223 --> 00:28:04,684
Yes, my son.
470
00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:07,228
Are you putting the candles on the cake?
471
00:28:07,311 --> 00:28:10,398
Thirty-one candles.
I need 31 candles on that cake.
472
00:28:10,481 --> 00:28:12,000
Well, there's only ten in the pack, so...
473
00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:14,527
What do you mean, only ten?
Why is there only ten?
474
00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:17,506
'Cause I did not have enough change
left over to get another pack of candles.
475
00:28:17,530 --> 00:28:19,031
It's your nephew's birthday.
476
00:28:19,115 --> 00:28:22,451
Look, just please try to make 31 candles.
Cut the candles in half.
477
00:28:22,535 --> 00:28:24,495
That's just 20. It's...
478
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:27,832
Cuzzo! Happy birthday!
479
00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:29,333
Happy birthday!
480
00:28:30,084 --> 00:28:31,419
Happy birthday, coz!
481
00:28:31,502 --> 00:28:33,254
Hey, baby, happy birthday!
482
00:28:38,759 --> 00:28:40,970
Oh, my god.
483
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:42,305
My African.
484
00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:44,765
I told you he was gonna come back!
485
00:28:44,849 --> 00:28:46,976
Boy, why you ain't tell me
you was bringing company?
486
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:49,312
- I would've cleaned up.
- Uh-huh. So you know this man?
487
00:28:49,395 --> 00:28:52,607
I definitely know this man.
I know this man all the way live.
488
00:28:52,690 --> 00:28:55,484
You know, I know this man
all up in the crevice.
489
00:28:55,568 --> 00:28:58,487
Yes, it's very good to see you again...
490
00:29:01,782 --> 00:29:04,160
- Mary.
- Mary.
491
00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:06,412
- Like the virgin.
- Okay, baby. All right.
492
00:29:06,495 --> 00:29:08,456
- Virgin? Not our Mary.
- She ain't no virgin.
493
00:29:08,539 --> 00:29:10,309
- You know that.
- You know what? That's right.
494
00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:12,418
Y'all was doing
that little weak pickup game.
495
00:29:12,501 --> 00:29:15,588
I think he was supposed to be, like,
the prince or something.
496
00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:17,214
He is not a prince anymore.
497
00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:18,758
He is our king.
498
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,053
- He's a king now.
- A king?
499
00:29:22,136 --> 00:29:23,804
Okay, king.
500
00:29:23,888 --> 00:29:26,849
So, you still got that smooth... scepter?
501
00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:28,100
Hey.
502
00:29:28,184 --> 00:29:30,519
No. Nobody want to hear that
on my birthday.
503
00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:32,021
Mary. Mary.
504
00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:33,940
Yo, mom, for real, is this dude my father?
505
00:29:34,023 --> 00:29:35,608
Father? Boy...
506
00:29:39,612 --> 00:29:42,114
Oh, boy, yeah, that might... he might be.
507
00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:44,450
He does... y'all know
I was a ho, though, right?
508
00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:46,118
Y'all know I was out in these streets?
509
00:29:46,202 --> 00:29:47,638
- You was a ho.
- I wasn't selling it.
510
00:29:47,662 --> 00:29:50,456
- I should've been selling it.
- In one of them fashion nova dresses.
511
00:29:50,539 --> 00:29:52,351
- 'Cause I was giving it away, for sure.
- Mary.
512
00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:53,918
I've come back for my son.
513
00:29:54,919 --> 00:29:57,380
To have him take
his rightful place on the throne.
514
00:29:57,463 --> 00:29:58,547
Ain't nothing happening.
515
00:29:58,631 --> 00:30:01,300
Zamunda, wakanda, Connecticut...
I don't know where you from.
516
00:30:01,384 --> 00:30:02,704
- Exactly.
- But I've been a force
517
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,261
in this boy's life since he was born.
518
00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:05,596
Please.
519
00:30:06,347 --> 00:30:07,598
It is the boy's birthright.
520
00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:10,935
I'm only giving him an opportunity
to have a better life.
521
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:12,979
No. Hey, man, for real, look.
522
00:30:13,062 --> 00:30:16,023
I don't know who you think you are,
but I'ma tell you who I am, man.
523
00:30:16,107 --> 00:30:18,025
I'm lavelle junson, a'ight?
524
00:30:18,109 --> 00:30:19,527
And I don't need no handout.
525
00:30:22,029 --> 00:30:24,490
- Wait a minute. Wait.
- My mistake.
526
00:30:25,199 --> 00:30:27,493
- Continue.
- Oh, my god.
527
00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:31,122
Do the right thing. Go ahead, boy.
528
00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:39,213
Are those coins? Are those gold bars?
529
00:30:39,296 --> 00:30:41,007
There's cash.
530
00:30:41,841 --> 00:30:45,302
Hey, yo, you know, I'm thinking,
531
00:30:45,386 --> 00:30:48,389
who am I to say no to becoming a prince?
532
00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:51,851
Ma, pack your bags, man. We out.
533
00:30:51,934 --> 00:30:55,271
Amen! Okay, so do I get my own hut
with my private shaman?
534
00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:59,525
We are only offering to take
lavelle back to zamunda.
535
00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:01,193
Uh-uh. Ain't happening like that, man.
536
00:31:01,277 --> 00:31:05,322
I'm not hopping on some plane,
flying across the world without my mother.
537
00:31:05,406 --> 00:31:07,074
All right? She coming.
538
00:31:10,911 --> 00:31:12,455
- So be it.
- So be it.
539
00:31:12,538 --> 00:31:14,123
- So be it.
- And so it is. A'ight.
540
00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:15,624
- I'ma go pack.
- Okay, baby.
541
00:31:16,459 --> 00:31:18,002
Hey, Mary, you just gonna leave?
542
00:31:18,085 --> 00:31:20,171
Y'all know my PlayStation
ain't going nowhere.
543
00:31:20,254 --> 00:31:21,606
I mean, what about all your stuff?
544
00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:24,425
It all sucks! Y'all can have it.
545
00:31:25,593 --> 00:31:28,763
Inform general izzi that I have
retrieved my son from america.
546
00:31:28,846 --> 00:31:30,973
Yes, your majesty.
547
00:31:31,057 --> 00:31:33,017
Hey, we packed.
548
00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:37,313
Yes, the limousine is waiting
for you right downstairs.
549
00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:39,523
- Limo? We got a limo, man.
- What's that? Limo!
550
00:31:39,607 --> 00:31:41,233
I ain't been in a limo since '00.
551
00:31:41,317 --> 00:31:43,110
- Hey. What's up?
- What's up, fellas?
552
00:31:43,194 --> 00:31:44,987
How y'all doing? Y'all so cute.
553
00:31:45,696 --> 00:31:47,823
Do you think Lisa will be understanding?
554
00:31:48,616 --> 00:31:50,034
What is not to understand?
555
00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:51,994
You lied to me!
556
00:31:52,078 --> 00:31:53,621
I did not exactly lie to you.
557
00:31:53,704 --> 00:31:54,789
This reeks of semmi.
558
00:31:54,872 --> 00:31:57,541
Well, I don't want to shift blame,
559
00:31:57,625 --> 00:31:59,335
but, yeah... yes, you're right
560
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,754
when you assume that semmi had
something to do with this.
561
00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:03,297
I should've known about this.
562
00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:09,011
I did not know what to do.
I was only trying to do what is right.
563
00:32:09,095 --> 00:32:11,889
For our family or for zamunda?
564
00:32:13,599 --> 00:32:15,392
Okay.
565
00:32:15,476 --> 00:32:17,520
You have an illegitimate son.
566
00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:19,355
You wouldn't be
the first king to have one.
567
00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:22,108
- That is true.
- Besides, we hadn't even met yet.
568
00:32:22,191 --> 00:32:24,735
Exactly. We hadn't met yet.
It's not like I cheated on you.
569
00:32:24,819 --> 00:32:26,695
This happened before we even met.
570
00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:28,965
And it's not like you're
the first man I've ever been with.
571
00:32:28,989 --> 00:32:30,116
Right, I...
572
00:32:30,199 --> 00:32:31,879
What did you just say about the other men?
573
00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:35,329
So I guess you didn't really do
anything wrong, did you?
574
00:32:35,412 --> 00:32:38,290
It was a totally honest mistake
that can happen to anyone
575
00:32:38,374 --> 00:32:40,793
whose best friend introduced him
to a strange woman
576
00:32:40,876 --> 00:32:42,419
who drugged him and had sex with him.
577
00:32:42,503 --> 00:32:45,381
But what did you say... the other men
that you were with, the...
578
00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:51,428
From here on out,
579
00:32:51,512 --> 00:32:53,889
I'm gonna need you to be honest with me.
580
00:32:53,973 --> 00:32:56,642
- No more surprises.
- I promise.
581
00:32:56,725 --> 00:32:59,186
No more surprises, my sweet.
582
00:32:59,270 --> 00:33:01,438
Never again shall there be
another surprise.
583
00:33:03,399 --> 00:33:04,400
What?
584
00:33:04,483 --> 00:33:06,068
Look at this foyer!
585
00:33:06,152 --> 00:33:08,320
I got to get some shots for the gram.
586
00:33:08,404 --> 00:33:10,447
Goddamn!
587
00:33:10,531 --> 00:33:12,008
- Oh, my goodness!
- Hashtag "family"!
588
00:33:12,032 --> 00:33:13,492
That's the last surprise.
589
00:33:13,576 --> 00:33:15,286
- Hey! What's up, y'all?
- Hey!
590
00:33:15,369 --> 00:33:17,246
What's up, fam?
591
00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:20,708
Look, I'm gonna hug you
'cause I'm a hugger. Hey, queen!
592
00:33:20,791 --> 00:33:23,586
I'm sorry I slept with your man.
593
00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:26,046
It's okay. It's okay.
594
00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:28,716
- What is going on here?
- Oh, children.
595
00:33:28,799 --> 00:33:32,887
Children, I would love for you
to meet your brother.
596
00:33:32,970 --> 00:33:35,139
Lavelle, Princess tinashe.
597
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:37,850
Tinashe, this is your bastard brother
from america.
598
00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:42,605
And, Princess omma,
this is your bastard brother from america.
599
00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:45,608
Now, this is my eldest daughter,
Princess meeka.
600
00:33:45,691 --> 00:33:47,026
Meeka, this is your...
601
00:33:47,109 --> 00:33:49,028
Bastard brother. They know.
602
00:33:49,111 --> 00:33:51,989
I think they get the idea.
So, how you doing?
603
00:33:52,072 --> 00:33:54,033
And my name is Mary. How you doing?
604
00:33:54,116 --> 00:33:55,993
Just call me your second mom.
605
00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:58,579
But you really don't have to, girls.
606
00:33:58,662 --> 00:34:01,707
I mean, but you should, though,
'cause I kinda am.
607
00:34:01,790 --> 00:34:03,042
Well, look at us.
608
00:34:03,125 --> 00:34:08,422
Just one big, happy zamundan-American
aristocratic blended family.
609
00:34:08,505 --> 00:34:10,883
Just like the Kardashians!
610
00:34:29,151 --> 00:34:31,904
And that is the story
of the bunny and the bear.
611
00:34:32,655 --> 00:34:33,948
Good class today, children.
612
00:34:34,031 --> 00:34:35,366
Okay, go play now.
613
00:34:35,449 --> 00:34:37,576
Play with your grenades
and your kalashnikov.
614
00:34:37,660 --> 00:34:39,703
Sifo, don't mess with the sarin.
615
00:34:39,787 --> 00:34:41,372
Okay? It is dangerous.
616
00:34:41,455 --> 00:34:44,625
General izzi, we have just been informed
617
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:49,588
king akeem has returned
from america with a son.
618
00:34:50,547 --> 00:34:51,548
A son?
619
00:34:54,385 --> 00:34:55,886
A son.
620
00:35:10,567 --> 00:35:12,111
I am so hungry,
621
00:35:12,194 --> 00:35:14,071
I could eat the ass out of a zebra.
622
00:35:17,533 --> 00:35:20,786
So, lavelle, what did you do in queens
623
00:35:20,869 --> 00:35:23,497
before you found out you were a prince?
624
00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:26,083
I wasn't doing that much,
you know what I mean?
625
00:35:26,166 --> 00:35:28,711
Just sort of, like,
in between opportunities.
626
00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:31,171
- You know?
- Let me tell you something, baby.
627
00:35:31,255 --> 00:35:33,007
You a prince now. Okay?
628
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:35,926
And one day, all this is gonna be yours.
629
00:35:36,010 --> 00:35:37,845
This long-ass table, all this food,
630
00:35:37,928 --> 00:35:40,306
this whole damn kingdom.
631
00:35:40,389 --> 00:35:43,309
I always thought that meeka
was going to be queen.
632
00:35:43,392 --> 00:35:45,227
A woman isn't allowed to rule zamunda.
633
00:35:45,311 --> 00:35:46,312
It's the law.
634
00:35:46,395 --> 00:35:49,606
So it's going to be this guy?
635
00:35:53,277 --> 00:35:55,446
I have lost my appetite.
636
00:36:03,162 --> 00:36:07,708
So, is anybody gonna tell me
why these mashed potatoes is black?
637
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:09,043
It's caviar.
638
00:36:09,126 --> 00:36:11,587
- It's cava-what?
- Caviar, mom.
639
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,380
You know, our cousin named that.
640
00:36:20,012 --> 00:36:21,638
You sure you're in the right room?
641
00:36:21,722 --> 00:36:24,933
Lisa, please.
I'm getting it from everywhere.
642
00:36:25,017 --> 00:36:26,560
Meeka is so upset.
643
00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:35,152
Did it ever occur to you that maybe
meeka might have wanted to be your heir?
644
00:36:35,235 --> 00:36:37,654
She's practically trained for it
her whole life.
645
00:36:40,407 --> 00:36:42,785
This boy would not have been
my first choice,
646
00:36:42,868 --> 00:36:44,870
but what can I do?
647
00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:48,457
He is my firstborn, my only son,
648
00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:50,125
and you know the law.
649
00:36:50,209 --> 00:36:51,835
That is not you talking.
650
00:36:51,919 --> 00:36:53,921
That is your father.
651
00:36:55,047 --> 00:36:56,298
Good night.
652
00:37:03,222 --> 00:37:05,933
Lisa, I was wondering.
653
00:37:06,016 --> 00:37:07,893
I just recently returned from a trip
654
00:37:07,976 --> 00:37:11,480
that was most tiresome,
and I thought maybe, perhaps,
655
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:13,315
if you were in the mood...
656
00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:16,568
Yeah, perhaps it was
poor timing on my behalf
657
00:37:16,652 --> 00:37:19,071
to even suggest such a thing.
658
00:37:19,154 --> 00:37:20,572
Good night, my sweet.
659
00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:24,034
Sweet dreams, my sweet.
660
00:37:30,416 --> 00:37:32,126
This is bullshit.
661
00:37:42,636 --> 00:37:44,263
Good morning.
662
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:54,106
Good morning, zamunda...
663
00:37:57,985 --> 00:37:59,403
Yeah!
664
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,198
Good morning, my prince.
665
00:38:04,408 --> 00:38:06,827
"My prince." I like that.
666
00:38:06,910 --> 00:38:08,704
Would you like us to bathe you?
667
00:38:09,413 --> 00:38:10,789
Bathe me?
668
00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:21,216
All three of you?
669
00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:28,682
Naked?
670
00:38:30,684 --> 00:38:32,978
Okay. All right, well...
671
00:38:33,061 --> 00:38:35,022
I'll be... I'll be right back.
672
00:38:39,067 --> 00:38:42,779
Hey. Hey, look. I'm freaking out right now
because these three girls,
673
00:38:42,863 --> 00:38:45,091
they in my room right now,
and they just offered to bathe me.
674
00:38:45,115 --> 00:38:49,161
Okay, baby, first of all, calm down.
Okay? You know we in another country.
675
00:38:49,244 --> 00:38:52,122
And you know they have
different traditions and customs,
676
00:38:52,206 --> 00:38:53,749
the way that they do stuff.
677
00:38:53,832 --> 00:38:56,210
You need to roll with it.
This is a princely thing.
678
00:38:56,293 --> 00:38:58,128
They bathe you, okay?
679
00:38:58,212 --> 00:38:59,421
- Yes.
- So be a prince.
680
00:38:59,505 --> 00:39:00,756
"Be a prince."
681
00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:02,484
- Now, you go enjoy that bath.
- All right.
682
00:39:02,508 --> 00:39:04,885
- All right, ma. Thank you.
- Go get washed.
683
00:39:15,312 --> 00:39:16,752
The royal privates are clean, ma'am.
684
00:39:18,649 --> 00:39:20,943
Just one more time, just to make sure.
685
00:39:30,661 --> 00:39:32,454
Good morning, your royal highness.
686
00:39:32,538 --> 00:39:33,705
My name is mirembe.
687
00:39:33,789 --> 00:39:35,832
I will be your royal groomer.
688
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:40,587
Please allow me the honor
of trimming your most precious hairs.
689
00:39:42,923 --> 00:39:45,592
The ones atop your head, sir.
690
00:39:45,676 --> 00:39:47,844
- Precious head of hair. Okay. All right.
- Yes.
691
00:39:47,928 --> 00:39:50,973
Surely, the royal bathers
have cleansed you thoroughly,
692
00:39:51,056 --> 00:39:53,642
judging by the smile on your face.
693
00:39:56,812 --> 00:40:00,274
Now, please sit back and relax.
694
00:40:13,161 --> 00:40:15,247
Yo! Man, look at you.
695
00:40:15,330 --> 00:40:17,124
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
696
00:40:17,207 --> 00:40:19,668
- And you look 50...
- Right? Right?
697
00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:20,836
- Right?
- What's this?
698
00:40:20,919 --> 00:40:23,171
Oh, yeah, I got a royal barber,
and she hooked me up.
699
00:40:25,424 --> 00:40:27,634
- We got to go.
- Right. Got that thing.
700
00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:44,401
Presenting lavelle junson of queens!
701
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:47,237
And my moms.
702
00:40:47,321 --> 00:40:50,490
And his moms.
703
00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:55,829
Oh, hey, baby's daddy king.
704
00:40:55,912 --> 00:40:57,706
Step-mama queen, what up?
705
00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,250
Mother, don't you have a dress like that?
706
00:41:00,334 --> 00:41:01,501
Thank you for the borrow.
707
00:41:01,585 --> 00:41:04,671
The royal tailors had to add
some extra material to make it fit.
708
00:41:04,755 --> 00:41:06,506
You got a dope closet, baby.
709
00:41:06,590 --> 00:41:09,009
And who told you
you could go through my closet?
710
00:41:09,092 --> 00:41:11,303
Well, I was just thinking,
since we're related,
711
00:41:11,386 --> 00:41:15,599
maybe that we could share a couple of...
712
00:41:15,682 --> 00:41:18,560
- Why your mama so uppity?
- What is "uppity"?
713
00:41:18,644 --> 00:41:20,103
I am not uppity.
714
00:41:20,771 --> 00:41:22,522
- Uppity bitch say what?
- What?
715
00:41:23,899 --> 00:41:24,900
You said it.
716
00:41:27,069 --> 00:41:28,904
We do that in queens.
717
00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:32,824
I cannot stress how important it is that
you're here right now at this moment.
718
00:41:32,908 --> 00:41:34,493
For educational purposes.
719
00:41:34,576 --> 00:41:36,370
At any moment, a world leader can come
720
00:41:36,453 --> 00:41:42,250
bursting through the door with
some pressing time-sensitive propositions.
721
00:42:01,186 --> 00:42:04,731
General izzi,
what a totally unexpected surprise.
722
00:42:04,815 --> 00:42:08,610
King akeem, I have come
to give you congratulations
723
00:42:08,694 --> 00:42:12,030
for locating one of your lost sperm.
724
00:42:12,114 --> 00:42:14,700
I too wonder about my own stray bullets.
725
00:42:14,783 --> 00:42:16,993
Thank you for your kind words.
726
00:42:18,203 --> 00:42:20,205
But I've not come with just words.
727
00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:25,252
I came with a gift for your new prince.
728
00:42:29,756 --> 00:42:34,010
With your permission, king akeem.
729
00:42:34,094 --> 00:42:35,804
My permission is granted.
730
00:42:59,661 --> 00:43:04,458
I would like to present to you
my daughter, bopoto!
731
00:43:33,153 --> 00:43:34,821
How can I put this in a way
732
00:43:34,905 --> 00:43:37,073
so as not to ofi'end or unnerve...
733
00:43:37,157 --> 00:43:40,744
- That's my song! That's prince!
- That's her song. That's her song.
734
00:43:40,827 --> 00:43:43,163
That you ain't been gettin ' served
735
00:43:43,246 --> 00:43:45,040
they say that you ain't you-know-what
736
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:48,043
in, baby, who knows how long
737
00:43:48,126 --> 00:43:49,753
it's hard for me to say what's n'ght
738
00:43:49,836 --> 00:43:51,880
when all she wants to do is wrong
739
00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:53,256
get off
740
00:43:53,340 --> 00:43:57,052
twenty-three positions
in a one-night stand
741
00:43:57,135 --> 00:43:59,554
- get off -/ 'i/ only call you
742
00:43:59,638 --> 00:44:02,808
-a fter you say / can -get off
743
00:44:02,891 --> 00:44:06,686
let a woman be a woman and a man be a man
744
00:44:06,770 --> 00:44:08,271
get off
745
00:44:08,355 --> 00:44:10,774
if you want me, baby, here I am
746
00:44:10,857 --> 00:44:12,025
here I am
747
00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:13,360
damn!
748
00:44:19,491 --> 00:44:21,117
Look here, boy. Look here.
749
00:44:21,201 --> 00:44:22,911
Pay attention to me. You know this song.
750
00:44:22,994 --> 00:44:25,622
You go put some purple on that ho!
751
00:44:25,705 --> 00:44:26,915
Do it for our country.
752
00:44:29,668 --> 00:44:31,878
One, two, three, nah, little cutie
753
00:44:31,962 --> 00:44:33,630
-I ain't drinkin' - get off
754
00:44:33,713 --> 00:44:35,632
scope this, / was just thinkin'
755
00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:38,009
you plus me, what a ride
756
00:44:38,093 --> 00:44:40,720
if you was thinkin'the same
we can continue outside
757
00:44:40,804 --> 00:44:43,390
lay your pretty body
against a parking meter
758
00:44:43,473 --> 00:44:47,477
str/p your dress down like / was str/pping
a Peter Paul is almond joy
759
00:44:47,561 --> 00:44:48,603
let me show you, baby
760
00:44:48,687 --> 00:44:49,771
I'm a talented boy
761
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:54,192
what's up?
762
00:44:55,527 --> 00:45:00,991
King akeem, shall we join our families
in marriage under one flag
763
00:45:01,074 --> 00:45:06,079
by uniting your bastard with my bopoto?
764
00:45:09,082 --> 00:45:10,667
General.
765
00:45:10,750 --> 00:45:13,295
As you know, I have
very, very strong opinions
766
00:45:13,378 --> 00:45:15,881
when it comes to arranged marriages.
767
00:45:15,964 --> 00:45:19,509
True love is the bedrock of my kingdom.
768
00:45:24,681 --> 00:45:26,850
But if this is something
that lavelle desires,
769
00:45:26,933 --> 00:45:28,226
who am I to stand in his way?
770
00:45:28,310 --> 00:45:29,561
- Wait, what?
- Father.
771
00:45:30,478 --> 00:45:33,523
Lavelle, is this what you want?
772
00:45:34,232 --> 00:45:36,067
Yeah. I'm 'bout it.
773
00:45:36,151 --> 00:45:37,736
Then it is settled!
774
00:45:37,819 --> 00:45:39,404
Then let us proceed!
775
00:45:39,487 --> 00:45:42,324
A semiautomatic shotgun wedding
it will be!
776
00:45:50,415 --> 00:45:53,335
Remember your father's final words.
777
00:45:53,418 --> 00:45:56,755
The boy must pass the princely test.
778
00:45:57,422 --> 00:46:00,800
To forget the princely test
would be to spit in the faces
779
00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:04,137
of the great joffers
who have come before you.
780
00:46:05,138 --> 00:46:06,723
Whose auntie is this?
781
00:46:08,224 --> 00:46:09,768
I give you a week.
782
00:46:11,603 --> 00:46:14,522
I wouldn't want to go back
to plotting your death.
783
00:46:16,149 --> 00:46:17,859
-Zoot/ -zoot/
784
00:46:17,943 --> 00:46:20,070
what's ”zoot”?
Y'all leaving? Does that mean "leave"?
785
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,371
I'll see you in one week, my prince.
786
00:46:29,454 --> 00:46:31,039
A'ight.
787
00:46:32,874 --> 00:46:36,336
- Father, can we talk about this?
- There is nothing to talk about.
788
00:46:36,419 --> 00:46:38,838
Nexdoria is our greatest threat.
789
00:46:38,922 --> 00:46:41,967
To broker a peace hinging on
the testosterone-clouded whims
790
00:46:42,050 --> 00:46:44,469
of a son you barely even know is foolish.
791
00:46:44,552 --> 00:46:46,471
I said there is nothing to talk about.
792
00:46:55,021 --> 00:46:57,273
This is znn.
793
00:46:57,357 --> 00:47:00,735
Good evening, my neighbors.
I'm totatsi bibinyana.
794
00:47:00,819 --> 00:47:03,321
In a most promising twist,
795
00:47:03,405 --> 00:47:05,865
the zamunda news network has confirmed
796
00:47:05,949 --> 00:47:08,785
that king akeem has a son.
797
00:47:08,868 --> 00:47:10,412
While it is too early to determine
798
00:47:10,495 --> 00:47:12,789
whether the boy possesses
any strength, intelligence
799
00:47:12,872 --> 00:47:14,416
or capab/lity whatsoever,
800
00:47:14,499 --> 00:47:17,585
what we do know is that he is a man.
801
00:47:17,669 --> 00:47:19,963
And as far as zamundan royalty
is concerned,
802
00:47:20,046 --> 00:47:21,715
that's good enough.
803
00:47:22,757 --> 00:47:25,385
- The princely test has three parts.
- Okay.
804
00:47:25,468 --> 00:47:29,723
Culture, critical thinking
and, more importantly, courage.
805
00:47:29,806 --> 00:47:31,266
Where do we begin?
806
00:47:31,349 --> 00:47:35,603
Teach the young prince
how to walk like royalty.
807
00:47:35,687 --> 00:47:37,313
That is what we will do.
808
00:47:37,397 --> 00:47:40,025
We will teach you
how to walk like a prince.
809
00:47:40,108 --> 00:47:41,860
Yo, what's wrong with the way I walk now?
810
00:47:41,943 --> 00:47:43,695
You walk like an American pimp.
811
00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:45,864
You dress like a slave from the future.
812
00:47:45,947 --> 00:47:47,323
Old jar jar binks looking ass.
813
00:47:47,407 --> 00:47:49,743
Here, in this hall,
814
00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:54,164
you will come face-to-face
with your zamundan heritage.
815
00:47:55,081 --> 00:47:56,291
Let us begin.
816
00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:58,418
Jompu joffer.
817
00:47:58,501 --> 00:47:59,794
Jampu...
818
00:47:59,878 --> 00:48:02,088
- Jakoof joffer.
- J ujkoof...
819
00:48:02,172 --> 00:48:04,340
Mighty jokeim joffer,
820
00:48:04,424 --> 00:48:06,468
the most handsome of all the joffers.
821
00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:09,721
Clench your backside.
822
00:48:09,804 --> 00:48:11,389
Put your shoulders back.
823
00:48:12,265 --> 00:48:13,391
Put your chin up.
824
00:48:13,475 --> 00:48:16,019
Suck in your stomach and walk thusly.
825
00:48:17,020 --> 00:48:19,022
Now? Walk? Okay.
826
00:48:20,023 --> 00:48:22,734
- This is a regal gait.
- Okay.
827
00:48:24,194 --> 00:48:25,653
Stop! Don't...
828
00:48:25,737 --> 00:48:27,447
Tuck in your backside.
829
00:48:27,530 --> 00:48:29,115
And who is this?
830
00:48:29,199 --> 00:48:30,366
That's jappa joffer.
831
00:48:30,450 --> 00:48:32,243
- No.
- Jabba the hutt joffer.
832
00:48:32,327 --> 00:48:34,579
- No.
- Jumpin' Jack flash joffer.
833
00:48:35,789 --> 00:48:37,290
- Gerald levert joffer?
- No.
834
00:48:37,373 --> 00:48:39,125
- Jimmie "j.J." Walker joffer?
- No.
835
00:48:39,209 --> 00:48:41,086
- Jabbennocky joffer.
- No.
836
00:48:41,169 --> 00:48:42,170
James brown joffer.
837
00:48:50,762 --> 00:48:53,056
All right, y'all,
what am I doing out here?
838
00:48:53,139 --> 00:48:57,519
I'm hungry. I'm late for my bath.
What am I looking for?
839
00:49:00,105 --> 00:49:01,940
That's a damn lion, bruh!
840
00:49:02,023 --> 00:49:05,026
Only when you can retrieve
the whiskers from a resting lion
841
00:49:05,110 --> 00:49:07,070
will you be ready to become prince.
842
00:49:11,241 --> 00:49:12,450
This is a joke.
843
00:49:12,534 --> 00:49:16,121
This is a joke, 'cause I know your soft
ass ain't never do nothing like that.
844
00:49:16,204 --> 00:49:17,789
Oh, yes, I did.
845
00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:20,834
- On my very first attempt.
- Well...
846
00:49:21,668 --> 00:49:23,837
Yes. First attempt. Very brave.
847
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:26,047
You will need the courage
of all your ancestors...
848
00:49:26,131 --> 00:49:28,174
A machete? A rocket launcher?
What you got?
849
00:49:28,258 --> 00:49:30,051
And the cunningness
of your western ways.
850
00:49:31,553 --> 00:49:33,054
And these.
851
00:49:40,687 --> 00:49:41,688
Thank you.
852
00:49:51,406 --> 00:49:53,408
Ain't this a bitch.
853
00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:57,203
I just don't belong here.
854
00:49:57,287 --> 00:49:59,873
You are the son of the king of zamunda.
855
00:50:01,708 --> 00:50:03,585
You come from a long line of joffers...
856
00:50:03,668 --> 00:50:06,671
I come from a long line
of broke-ass nobodies.
857
00:50:08,298 --> 00:50:11,509
What the hell I was thinking
that I could have this?
858
00:50:11,593 --> 00:50:12,886
Or any of it?
859
00:50:14,721 --> 00:50:17,140
Hey, for real,
just cut this off, all right?
860
00:50:17,223 --> 00:50:18,558
Just cut it off.
861
00:50:20,435 --> 00:50:23,146
You want to get rid of
the royal princely braid?
862
00:50:24,564 --> 00:50:26,858
Well, this is fair.
863
00:50:26,941 --> 00:50:30,612
To be honest,
it wasn't a great look on you.
864
00:50:31,696 --> 00:50:34,866
Just one of the many
backward zamundan traditions.
865
00:50:36,451 --> 00:50:38,077
Hell yeah.
866
00:50:38,161 --> 00:50:40,705
How long have you felt that way?
You know how itchy this is?
867
00:50:40,788 --> 00:50:42,248
It's a rat tail.
868
00:50:43,917 --> 00:50:45,877
And what's up
with y'all and lion whiskers?
869
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,962
Like, be for real. What's up with that?
870
00:50:48,922 --> 00:50:51,674
Hey, yo, I can't do this right now, man.
871
00:50:54,469 --> 00:50:56,054
Yo, look where I'm at.
872
00:50:58,348 --> 00:51:00,183
I'm not supposed to be here.
873
00:51:01,017 --> 00:51:02,685
You know, my whole life,
874
00:51:02,769 --> 00:51:05,021
I had dreams that
my pops would show up and take me
875
00:51:05,104 --> 00:51:07,232
and my mom away to a whole new life.
876
00:51:07,315 --> 00:51:09,567
And come to find out, he's a king.
877
00:51:09,651 --> 00:51:11,027
To a whole damn country.
878
00:51:11,110 --> 00:51:13,154
And the only way to meet his expectations
879
00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:16,824
is to walk with a stick
up my ass or get myself killed.
880
00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:21,079
This ain't my way, mirembe.
881
00:51:21,162 --> 00:51:24,582
And I can't... I can't be
what he wants me to be.
882
00:51:26,417 --> 00:51:29,462
Then perhaps be not as king akeem
883
00:51:30,380 --> 00:51:32,382
but as prince akeem.
884
00:51:34,550 --> 00:51:35,885
Ain't that the same brother?
885
00:51:37,345 --> 00:51:38,846
You haven't heard the story.
886
00:51:38,930 --> 00:51:41,391
Everyone in zamunda knows
887
00:51:41,474 --> 00:51:45,353
the legend of prince akeem
888
00:51:45,436 --> 00:51:47,814
in the land of queens.
889
00:51:48,982 --> 00:51:51,776
Prince akeem was a dut/fu/ prince
890
00:51:51,859 --> 00:51:53,444
and loyal son of zamunda.
891
00:51:53,528 --> 00:51:56,030
- Hello, babar.
- But he believed that a man
892
00:51:56,114 --> 00:51:58,658
must walk his own path
and follow his heart
893
00:51:58,741 --> 00:52:01,577
- I intend to find my bride.
- What is wrong with the one you have now?
894
00:52:01,661 --> 00:52:03,037
Bark like a dog.
895
00:52:03,788 --> 00:52:07,041
I want a woman that's going to
arouse my intellect as well as my loins.
896
00:52:07,125 --> 00:52:10,753
He flew across the sea
to find his true love.
897
00:52:10,837 --> 00:52:11,838
Now there,
898
00:52:11,921 --> 00:52:14,924
in the barbaric land of queens
899
00:52:15,008 --> 00:52:18,344
did prince akeem battle bug-eyed burglars,
900
00:52:18,428 --> 00:52:20,221
foul-mouthed barbers
901
00:52:20,305 --> 00:52:23,099
and sexist men of the cloth
902
00:52:23,182 --> 00:52:25,476
to win the heart of his true love,
903
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,521
Lisa ll/chowe/I of queens.
904
00:52:36,529 --> 00:52:38,740
The wedding was grand
905
00:52:38,823 --> 00:52:42,577
and beautiful and magical
906
00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:45,330
a new dawn had arised in zamunda,
907
00:52:45,413 --> 00:52:46,873
a new sense of hope
908
00:52:46,956 --> 00:52:48,583
and change.
909
00:52:49,542 --> 00:52:51,419
King akeem
910
00:52:51,502 --> 00:52:54,297
may have forgotten his story,
911
00:52:54,380 --> 00:52:57,091
but the people of zamunda have not.
912
00:53:05,933 --> 00:53:07,977
Walk your own path.
913
00:53:08,061 --> 00:53:10,646
Be not the prince of zamunda.
914
00:53:11,898 --> 00:53:13,691
Be the prince from queens.
915
00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:28,414
Lavelle junson of queens.
916
00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:45,556
If it pleases your majesty,
917
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:48,643
I present to you Kareem junson,
918
00:53:48,726 --> 00:53:52,313
aka uncle reem,
919
00:53:52,397 --> 00:53:54,357
my royal consigliere.
920
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,526
That's Italian for "mack daddy mentor."
921
00:53:56,609 --> 00:53:59,821
You need no other teacher
than your king and your father.
922
00:53:59,904 --> 00:54:02,115
No, no, no. See, you watch
your bottom lip, money grip,
923
00:54:02,198 --> 00:54:05,618
'cause you understand, while y'all was out
here riding elephants and chasing Tarzan,
924
00:54:05,701 --> 00:54:08,913
I was schooling this boy
on the streets of queens.
925
00:54:08,996 --> 00:54:11,457
- All right, well, that's...
- No, 'cause he don't know me.
926
00:54:11,541 --> 00:54:13,310
- You do not know me.
- No, you don't know me.
927
00:54:13,334 --> 00:54:15,044
- You do not know me.
- You don't know me.
928
00:54:15,128 --> 00:54:16,963
- I will cut you.
- Enough of this.
929
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:23,553
Uncle reem of queens...
You're welcome in my kingdom.
930
00:54:23,636 --> 00:54:24,762
Come on.
931
00:54:24,846 --> 00:54:26,931
Benson, y'all got some crab cakes, man?
932
00:54:27,014 --> 00:54:28,057
I need some protein.
933
00:54:28,141 --> 00:54:30,351
- Who is Benson?
- Benson is you.
934
00:54:30,435 --> 00:54:32,228
Hold up. Hold up.
935
00:54:32,311 --> 00:54:34,272
Let me get my spotify on deck real quick.
936
00:54:36,482 --> 00:54:37,775
Let's rock.
937
00:54:37,859 --> 00:54:40,027
You ain't said nothing but a thing.
938
00:54:40,111 --> 00:54:41,112
See his feet?
939
00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:43,865
- Yes.
- See where his hand at? See how he moving?
940
00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:46,742
Yes. There's a fluidity to it.
941
00:54:46,826 --> 00:54:49,829
Yeah, it's like Bruce Lee said,
"be like water."
942
00:54:49,912 --> 00:54:51,330
That's hebbe joffer.
943
00:54:51,414 --> 00:54:54,254
Legend has it he could speak to animals,
and people thought he was crazy
944
00:54:54,292 --> 00:54:56,092
until he made a giraffe
do the electric slide.
945
00:54:57,253 --> 00:55:00,965
It appears a royal wedding
may soon be upon us.
946
00:55:01,048 --> 00:55:04,302
- For more on this, we are joined by semmi.
- Good to see you, totatsi.
947
00:55:04,385 --> 00:55:09,765
According to our znn source inside the
palace, we are hearing... and / quote...
948
00:55:09,849 --> 00:55:13,769
”The boy been balling
on this princely-ass test
949
00:55:13,853 --> 00:55:18,608
ever since his handsome
and mad smart uncle showed up. ”
950
00:55:18,691 --> 00:55:21,402
That is absurd, totatsi.
Who is your source?
951
00:55:21,486 --> 00:55:23,571
What the deal? What the deal?
952
00:55:23,654 --> 00:55:25,239
Palace life for me.
953
00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:28,493
Who do you think you are, reem,
going behind the king's back?
954
00:55:28,576 --> 00:55:30,203
- You keep talking slick.
- Gentlemen.
955
00:55:30,286 --> 00:55:34,040
When my man is running this place,
you gonna go from royal ass kisser
956
00:55:34,123 --> 00:55:35,750
- to royal ass w/per.
- No, no.
957
00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:37,561
- I will do no such thing.
- Please, gentle...
958
00:55:37,585 --> 00:55:40,171
Yeah, well, / eat a lot of fn'ed food,
so don't come at me
959
00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:42,340
with anything less than two-ply.
960
00:55:52,642 --> 00:55:53,684
Okay.
961
00:55:56,896 --> 00:55:58,147
That's right.
962
00:55:59,774 --> 00:56:01,614
- I believe I have it now.
- Don't hurt nobody.
963
00:56:01,651 --> 00:56:03,879
- Yeah, you got something.
- Now let me hear you say, "hey, ho."
964
00:56:03,903 --> 00:56:04,963
- I don't know...
- Hey, ho.
965
00:56:04,987 --> 00:56:07,532
That's right.
That's how we do it in queens, though.
966
00:56:07,615 --> 00:56:09,158
- Hey, ho.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
967
00:56:09,242 --> 00:56:10,826
No, don't do that. That's his mother.
968
00:56:10,910 --> 00:56:12,679
- Oh, don't say it to...
- No, not to his mother.
969
00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:14,247
- You obese American, you.
- No.
970
00:56:14,330 --> 00:56:15,706
Yeah, for 25 cents a day,
971
00:56:15,790 --> 00:56:18,543
I could sponsor-feed your scrawny ass.
972
00:56:18,626 --> 00:56:20,336
Go to hell, you western weasel!
973
00:56:20,419 --> 00:56:22,338
- Yo, well, why don't you go?
- Ll/lake me.
974
00:56:22,421 --> 00:56:23,965
You know something? Then / will.
975
00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:26,133
You cholesterol dumpster fire, you.
976
00:56:26,217 --> 00:56:28,636
- Oka y, okay.
- Totatsi! Call the guards!
977
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:30,221
Let us go for a short break.
978
00:56:31,764 --> 00:56:32,932
That's forest Whitaker.
979
00:56:33,808 --> 00:56:36,561
I'm joking. That's not...
That one is tunde joffer.
980
00:56:36,644 --> 00:56:39,438
He's the reason why the zamundans migrated
from the north to the east.
981
00:56:39,522 --> 00:56:41,023
He's doing pretty good.
982
00:56:41,107 --> 00:56:42,233
Yeah?
983
00:56:50,616 --> 00:56:52,660
There is but one test that remains:
984
00:56:52,743 --> 00:56:54,787
Retrieving the whiskers from a lion.
985
00:56:56,372 --> 00:56:59,333
My one question is:
How will you conquer your fear?
986
00:57:00,376 --> 00:57:01,627
I'm not.
987
00:57:01,711 --> 00:57:03,045
It's a damn lion.
988
00:57:03,129 --> 00:57:05,256
Well, I found it is helpful
to think of them
989
00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:07,300
as just being big house cats.
990
00:57:08,676 --> 00:57:10,052
Just big house cats?
991
00:57:10,136 --> 00:57:12,305
Really? When did you figure that out?
992
00:57:12,388 --> 00:57:15,182
Was that on your tenth or 11th try?
993
00:57:15,266 --> 00:57:18,144
I know not what you speak of.
I was successful my first time,
994
00:57:18,227 --> 00:57:20,479
- just like my father.
- Jaffe joffer.
995
00:57:20,563 --> 00:57:22,940
- And his father before him.
- Jappa joffer.
996
00:57:24,108 --> 00:57:26,819
Very good. Very good!
997
00:57:28,362 --> 00:57:29,488
Oh, watch.
998
00:57:29,572 --> 00:57:31,032
- Oh, shit!
- Do not be alarmed.
999
00:57:31,115 --> 00:57:32,867
This is babar, he is my friend.
1000
00:57:32,950 --> 00:57:34,790
I have known him
since he was a small elephant.
1001
00:57:34,827 --> 00:57:35,953
Let him pass. Move.
1002
00:57:36,037 --> 00:57:37,246
- Let him pass.
- All right.
1003
00:57:37,330 --> 00:57:39,081
Come through, babar, my friend.
1004
00:57:39,165 --> 00:57:41,792
Babar, the magnificent one.
1005
00:57:41,876 --> 00:57:44,211
I have known him
since he was a little elephant,
1006
00:57:44,295 --> 00:57:45,671
and now he is a father, as well.
1007
00:57:45,755 --> 00:57:47,798
- Wow.
- The great one!
1008
00:57:52,678 --> 00:57:55,431
I must admit, your manner and your style
1009
00:57:55,514 --> 00:57:58,267
is foreign to my kingdom,
but it is impressive.
1010
00:57:58,351 --> 00:58:01,812
Yeah? Damn, I'm just trying
to be like you.
1011
00:58:01,896 --> 00:58:03,022
You know what I mean?
1012
00:58:03,648 --> 00:58:06,525
You know, mirembe, my royal barber,
1013
00:58:06,609 --> 00:58:08,778
told me the story that your pops
1014
00:58:08,861 --> 00:58:10,988
wanted you to marry a nexdorian girl,
1015
00:58:11,072 --> 00:58:14,158
so you bounced to queens to find
a wife on your own terms.
1016
00:58:16,369 --> 00:58:18,621
I wanted to find more than a wife.
1017
00:58:19,413 --> 00:58:22,458
To find someone that
I connected with on every level.
1018
00:58:22,541 --> 00:58:24,251
Someone who knew where I was coming from
1019
00:58:24,335 --> 00:58:27,380
even though we came from
entirely two different places.
1020
00:58:32,134 --> 00:58:34,720
And one might say
I was looking for myself, as well.
1021
00:58:37,848 --> 00:58:40,851
Get some rest, my son.
1022
00:58:42,812 --> 00:58:44,146
Thanks, pops.
1023
00:59:06,377 --> 00:59:08,546
He looks hungry.
1024
00:59:08,629 --> 00:59:11,465
You can see it in how
he walks low to the ground.
1025
00:59:11,549 --> 00:59:14,635
Look, man, you haven't liked me
since I got here, and I get that.
1026
00:59:14,719 --> 00:59:18,013
But ain't my fault your dad knocked up
my mom and dragged my ass back to Africa.
1027
00:59:18,097 --> 00:59:20,558
Well, no one is asking you to stay.
1028
00:59:20,641 --> 00:59:23,227
It's all good, little sis. All good.
I'll be gone in a minute,
1029
00:59:23,310 --> 00:59:25,730
- 'cause I'm about to be eaten by a lion!
- I hope so!
1030
00:59:25,813 --> 00:59:26,856
- Fine! Fine!
- Fine!
1031
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:36,490
You really think
I'm gonna fail, don't you?
1032
00:59:43,622 --> 00:59:46,125
I have never said that...
1033
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:47,710
Out loud.
1034
00:59:48,419 --> 00:59:50,129
You ain't got to.
1035
00:59:50,212 --> 00:59:51,213
It's that look.
1036
00:59:55,551 --> 00:59:58,137
Been getting that look my entire life.
1037
00:59:58,220 --> 01:00:01,307
People writing me off
'cause of the way I talk
1038
01:00:01,390 --> 01:00:02,850
or where I'm from.
1039
01:00:03,809 --> 01:00:06,604
But you got no idea
what I'm talking about.
1040
01:00:06,687 --> 01:00:08,105
'Cause you a Princess.
1041
01:00:09,023 --> 01:00:11,859
Princesses can be written off
just as much as anyone.
1042
01:00:11,942 --> 01:00:14,945
I have been preparing my whole life
1043
01:00:15,029 --> 01:00:17,865
to be standing where you are
in this moment.
1044
01:00:19,992 --> 01:00:20,993
But you are right.
1045
01:00:21,076 --> 01:00:22,912
It is not fair for me to blame you
1046
01:00:22,995 --> 01:00:24,747
for my father's mistake.
1047
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:28,125
Not that you are a mistake.
1048
01:00:28,209 --> 01:00:31,879
- Well, you kind of are a mistake.
- Okay. I get it, I get it. A'ight.
1049
01:00:31,962 --> 01:00:33,464
Damn.
1050
01:00:40,095 --> 01:00:43,557
Perhaps the test
has nothing to do with bravery.
1051
01:00:45,768 --> 01:00:49,897
The tests are also a challenge
of the mind.
1052
01:01:14,129 --> 01:01:16,173
So, in sales,
it's called a bait and switch.
1053
01:01:16,257 --> 01:01:19,051
So, the customer thinks
that they're buying something at half off,
1054
01:01:19,134 --> 01:01:22,096
so they come flocking, waving their
wallets, just hungry to buy something,
1055
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:24,223
but by the time they get there,
1056
01:01:24,306 --> 01:01:26,100
you sell 'em the upgrade
at double the price.
1057
01:01:26,183 --> 01:01:28,853
Yes. It is the same as a technique
1058
01:01:28,936 --> 01:01:31,689
we use in battle
called the feigned withdrawal.
1059
01:01:31,772 --> 01:01:34,108
An army retreats with the sole intention
1060
01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:36,902
of drawing the enemy out
and ambushing him.
1061
01:01:36,986 --> 01:01:39,405
So, what, in this scenario,
I'm the retreating army?
1062
01:01:39,488 --> 01:01:41,866
No, you are the bait to switch.
1063
01:02:08,100 --> 01:02:11,812
This ain't right. My nephew could be eaten
by a man-eating lion!
1064
01:02:11,896 --> 01:02:13,981
Besides, what kind of kingdom is this?
1065
01:02:14,064 --> 01:02:17,234
I don't see no lunchables
or no lunch trays up here, nothing!
1066
01:03:05,074 --> 01:03:06,825
Run! Run!
1067
01:03:06,909 --> 01:03:08,869
Trust me, don't look back!
1068
01:03:08,953 --> 01:03:10,454
Just keep running! Keep running! Run!
1069
01:03:10,537 --> 01:03:11,664
Keep running!
1070
01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:29,890
No, no. No!
1071
01:03:32,977 --> 01:03:35,312
He's trapped. I must save him.
1072
01:03:35,396 --> 01:03:37,314
- Stupid.
- Wait, father.
1073
01:03:40,943 --> 01:03:42,027
Look.
1074
01:03:50,369 --> 01:03:51,370
What is this?
1075
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:54,456
What is this?
1076
01:03:55,124 --> 01:03:57,334
What every dangerous house cat likes.
1077
01:04:00,212 --> 01:04:01,380
Cat food.
1078
01:04:37,207 --> 01:04:38,667
I got 'em.
1079
01:04:44,089 --> 01:04:46,133
He is almost ready to become a prince.
1080
01:04:46,216 --> 01:04:47,593
Wait, almost?
1081
01:04:49,303 --> 01:04:53,140
It is time for umbajuntu.
1082
01:04:53,223 --> 01:04:55,893
- Umba juntu!
- Umba juntu!
1083
01:05:06,695 --> 01:05:09,406
What's... what's umbajuntu?
1084
01:05:10,365 --> 01:05:11,950
Ceremonial circumcision.
1085
01:05:12,034 --> 01:05:13,660
Ceremonial...
1086
01:05:13,744 --> 01:05:15,829
That mean they're gonna
sharpen your tool, nephew.
1087
01:05:15,913 --> 01:05:18,582
- Hold him.
- Hey, yo, ain't got to restrain me.
1088
01:05:18,665 --> 01:05:21,085
- Hey, ma, tell 'em we already did this!
- That's okay, baby.
1089
01:05:21,168 --> 01:05:24,129
We love it here, right?
Let them take a little bit off the top.
1090
01:05:24,213 --> 01:05:28,884
These are the foreskins
of your forefathers.
1091
01:05:29,885 --> 01:05:31,220
Joffer joffer.
1092
01:05:31,303 --> 01:05:33,138
Great-great-great-grandfather.
1093
01:05:33,222 --> 01:05:35,182
Jappa joffer.
1094
01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:36,683
Your great-grandfather.
1095
01:05:36,767 --> 01:05:38,685
Jaffe joffer.
1096
01:05:38,769 --> 01:05:39,770
Your grandfather.
1097
01:05:39,853 --> 01:05:43,357
And king akeem.
1098
01:05:49,071 --> 01:05:50,280
Okay.
1099
01:06:10,008 --> 01:06:12,761
What are you... what is wrong with you?
1100
01:06:14,972 --> 01:06:16,098
See, a potato.
1101
01:06:22,980 --> 01:06:26,191
They got you, baby! They got you!
1102
01:06:27,609 --> 01:06:30,696
You just completed
the final princely test,
1103
01:06:30,779 --> 01:06:33,240
- the test of courage.
- Courage?
1104
01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:36,827
Need I remind you I was face-to-face
with a man-eating lion?
1105
01:06:36,910 --> 01:06:41,915
For one to put his member in danger
is also a test of courage, yes?
1106
01:06:41,999 --> 01:06:45,085
You are willing to sacrifice
what is most sacred.
1107
01:06:45,169 --> 01:06:46,753
My penis?
1108
01:06:47,504 --> 01:06:48,714
Your pride.
1109
01:06:50,007 --> 01:06:52,217
Lavelle junson of queens,
1110
01:06:52,968 --> 01:06:54,887
I hereby crown you
1111
01:06:55,762 --> 01:06:58,182
the prince of zamunda.
1112
01:07:00,267 --> 01:07:01,602
It was too much for him.
1113
01:07:03,478 --> 01:07:07,691
Okay, so you thought the best response
was to let them cut it off?
1114
01:07:07,774 --> 01:07:09,610
I was doing whatever it took.
1115
01:07:09,693 --> 01:07:11,445
Like what, exactly?
1116
01:07:11,528 --> 01:07:14,198
Well, to prove myself.
1117
01:07:14,281 --> 01:07:17,576
You know, like, I never really got
the chance to do that back home.
1118
01:07:23,457 --> 01:07:24,625
As you were.
1119
01:07:27,127 --> 01:07:30,631
I take it you are growing
accustomed to the palace life.
1120
01:07:30,714 --> 01:07:34,968
I mean, aside from some insane rituals
y'all have here,
1121
01:07:36,011 --> 01:07:38,889
I suppose life here ain't too bad.
1122
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:45,896
- Well, there are certain disadvantages.
- Uh-huh.
1123
01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:49,233
I mean, have you seen a zamundan movie?
Total baboon dung.
1124
01:07:49,900 --> 01:07:53,237
So, what, like, nothing
over a 30% on rotten papayas?
1125
01:07:54,363 --> 01:07:56,782
American cinema is the best.
1126
01:07:56,865 --> 01:08:00,869
The best? That is, like, the most
blasphemous thing I've ever heard.
1127
01:08:00,953 --> 01:08:03,163
What do we have besides superhero shit,
1128
01:08:03,247 --> 01:08:07,584
remakes and sequels
to old movies nobody asked for?
1129
01:08:07,668 --> 01:08:09,294
This is true about sequels.
1130
01:08:09,378 --> 01:08:10,879
If something is good,
1131
01:08:10,963 --> 01:08:12,297
- why ruin it?
- Why ruin it?
1132
01:08:13,382 --> 01:08:15,968
- Although there are exceptions.
- Like what?
1133
01:08:16,051 --> 01:08:17,928
Are you familiar
with the barbershop series?
1134
01:08:18,011 --> 01:08:19,805
Am I familiar with... look at me.
1135
01:08:19,888 --> 01:08:22,266
Of course I'm familiar
with the barbershop series.
1136
01:08:22,349 --> 01:08:26,645
My favorite spin-off is
the one with queen latifah.
1137
01:08:26,728 --> 01:08:28,438
Yeah, but that's not barbershop.
1138
01:08:29,189 --> 01:08:30,482
That's beauty shop.
1139
01:08:31,858 --> 01:08:33,652
To-mah-to, to-may-to.
1140
01:08:34,569 --> 01:08:36,613
Potato, papaya.
1141
01:08:40,701 --> 01:08:42,452
So, what, American entertainment?
1142
01:08:42,536 --> 01:08:44,329
Is that our biggest difference?
1143
01:08:45,914 --> 01:08:51,503
Well, there are certain freedoms
that exist outside of zamunda.
1144
01:08:51,586 --> 01:08:52,587
Okay.
1145
01:08:53,505 --> 01:08:54,589
Like what?
1146
01:08:56,842 --> 01:08:59,720
Okay, this is going to sound stupid,
1147
01:08:59,803 --> 01:09:02,055
but it has always been
a dream of mine to...
1148
01:09:03,140 --> 01:09:04,599
To one day have my own barbershop.
1149
01:09:05,642 --> 01:09:06,727
Yo, that's awesome.
1150
01:09:08,603 --> 01:09:11,356
- Are you making fun of me?
- No.
1151
01:09:11,440 --> 01:09:13,442
Nah, I'm being dead-ass.
1152
01:09:13,525 --> 01:09:14,693
Do it.
1153
01:09:14,776 --> 01:09:16,987
I don't know anybody
who can work scissors like you.
1154
01:09:17,070 --> 01:09:20,991
Well, except women are not allowed
to own businesses in zamunda.
1155
01:09:21,074 --> 01:09:24,536
-You serious? 4ndeed.
1156
01:09:25,287 --> 01:09:26,663
That's not cool.
1157
01:09:28,206 --> 01:09:29,791
Well, I'm prince, right?
1158
01:09:31,251 --> 01:09:32,336
So, you know something?
1159
01:09:32,419 --> 01:09:34,755
As long as I'm prince,
1160
01:09:34,838 --> 01:09:37,299
I can promise you there's gonna
be some changes around here.
1161
01:09:37,382 --> 01:09:39,718
Well, that is very idealistic.
1162
01:09:40,635 --> 01:09:45,057
But every prince
promises to do things differently,
1163
01:09:45,140 --> 01:09:49,770
but eventually, they do things the same
way they've always been done before.
1164
01:09:50,771 --> 01:09:54,066
Yeah, well, I'm not like
every other prince.
1165
01:09:54,149 --> 01:09:55,442
Remember?
1166
01:09:56,276 --> 01:09:58,111
I'm a prince from queens.
1167
01:09:59,112 --> 01:10:01,198
I wonder who told you that.
1168
01:10:02,783 --> 01:10:04,451
Somebody.
1169
01:10:13,835 --> 01:10:15,754
I should not have done that.
1170
01:10:16,922 --> 01:10:20,050
- I should not have done that.
- Wait. Wait, hold on. Mirembe...
1171
01:10:23,428 --> 01:10:26,264
I think it is best you go to bed
and get some rest.
1172
01:10:27,432 --> 01:10:29,726
Tomorrow is going to be a very long day.
1173
01:10:30,394 --> 01:10:32,396
You are one step closer to...
1174
01:10:33,188 --> 01:10:34,856
Marrying your Princess.
1175
01:10:39,194 --> 01:10:40,320
Good night.
1176
01:10:59,256 --> 01:11:03,093
Presenting the crown prince of zamunda,
1177
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:05,011
prince lavelle!
1178
01:11:29,161 --> 01:11:30,495
- King akeem.
- Yes.
1179
01:11:30,579 --> 01:11:32,164
So wonderful to see you, general.
1180
01:11:38,295 --> 01:11:40,380
- Prince lavelle.
- General izzi.
1181
01:11:40,464 --> 01:11:43,216
Please, allow me to reintroduce
1182
01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:47,304
my daughter, bopoto!
1183
01:12:06,740 --> 01:12:08,366
My prince.
1184
01:12:09,743 --> 01:12:12,138
Perhaps you two should get
to know each other a little better.
1185
01:12:12,162 --> 01:12:13,205
Yes.
1186
01:12:24,424 --> 01:12:25,884
Lovely.
1187
01:12:26,885 --> 01:12:29,054
Hey, dig this here.
1188
01:12:29,137 --> 01:12:33,892
Could I get two crown royals
for me and my royal compadre?
1189
01:12:34,809 --> 01:12:37,145
- Compadre?
- It means "friend."
1190
01:12:38,605 --> 01:12:40,524
I am uncle reem's friend.
1191
01:12:40,607 --> 01:12:41,608
Yes, you are.
1192
01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:43,902
Cheers.
1193
01:12:43,985 --> 01:12:45,779
How you doing? Hey, ladies.
1194
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:48,823
How you doing? I know I look good.
1195
01:12:48,907 --> 01:12:52,077
A makeover. My hair is on point.
1196
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:54,287
New dress. Who this?
1197
01:12:54,371 --> 01:12:57,999
Well, if you're going to wear that dress,
then you should wear this.
1198
01:13:03,296 --> 01:13:04,839
Oh, my god.
1199
01:13:05,924 --> 01:13:07,008
Are you serious?
1200
01:13:07,092 --> 01:13:08,677
Yes. Turn around.
1201
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:10,262
Oh, my goodness.
1202
01:13:13,515 --> 01:13:17,519
I can't believe it. This is so beautiful.
I know you gonna want this back.
1203
01:13:17,602 --> 01:13:19,854
It's a gift. You're family now.
1204
01:13:21,856 --> 01:13:23,275
- Let's go get drunk.
- What?
1205
01:13:23,358 --> 01:13:26,361
Yes, girl, me and you 'bout to turn it up.
1206
01:13:26,444 --> 01:13:28,071
Hey, banendefl
1207
01:13:28,154 --> 01:13:30,240
let me have some of your finest drink.
1208
01:13:30,323 --> 01:13:32,242
Two shots of chilled ciroc.
1209
01:13:38,039 --> 01:13:40,667
So... marriage.
1210
01:13:41,376 --> 01:13:42,877
It's a big step.
1211
01:13:43,837 --> 01:13:46,506
I will make you a happy prince.
1212
01:13:50,510 --> 01:13:51,845
What about you?
1213
01:13:51,928 --> 01:13:54,556
How can I make you a happy Princess?
1214
01:13:55,432 --> 01:13:56,433
What do you like?
1215
01:13:57,434 --> 01:13:59,477
Whatever you like.
1216
01:14:00,478 --> 01:14:01,896
Okay, I'll back up.
1217
01:14:03,565 --> 01:14:06,151
Bopoto, what's your favorite movie?
1218
01:14:06,234 --> 01:14:09,738
Whatever is your favorite movie.
1219
01:14:10,989 --> 01:14:12,240
Is there a goal you have?
1220
01:14:12,324 --> 01:14:15,201
Is there a business
that you want to start?
1221
01:14:15,285 --> 01:14:17,662
Whatever business you'd like to start.
1222
01:14:27,297 --> 01:14:31,217
I want to have a connection
with the person
1223
01:14:31,301 --> 01:14:34,387
that I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.
1224
01:14:34,471 --> 01:14:36,931
But I am just a wife.
1225
01:14:44,105 --> 01:14:45,982
- Can you wait right here?
- Okay.
1226
01:14:46,066 --> 01:14:48,151
- But what shall I do?
- Just wait.
1227
01:14:48,902 --> 01:14:49,903
Right here.
1228
01:14:51,321 --> 01:14:53,031
I shall wait here.
1229
01:14:54,074 --> 01:14:55,158
Okay.
1230
01:15:17,305 --> 01:15:18,765
Everything is coming out...
1231
01:15:18,848 --> 01:15:20,809
Hey, I don't mean to interrupt,
1232
01:15:20,892 --> 01:15:23,311
but, mutombo, do you mind
if I have a minute with her?
1233
01:15:24,604 --> 01:15:25,939
My bad, man.
1234
01:15:26,022 --> 01:15:27,190
No, no, no.
1235
01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:28,608
It's your party, prince.
1236
01:15:28,692 --> 01:15:30,276
Come here, you gentle giant.
1237
01:15:30,944 --> 01:15:31,986
Yeah.
1238
01:15:33,321 --> 01:15:34,864
I need to talk to you.
1239
01:15:36,491 --> 01:15:39,285
There's nothing for us
to talk about. Excuse me.
1240
01:15:39,369 --> 01:15:42,122
Yes, there is. I don't want to marry her.
1241
01:15:50,797 --> 01:15:52,257
I want to be with you.
1242
01:15:54,092 --> 01:15:57,303
You and only you
are the reason why I'm a prince.
1243
01:15:58,096 --> 01:15:59,514
But, lavelle...
1244
01:15:59,597 --> 01:16:00,724
Look.
1245
01:16:01,975 --> 01:16:05,520
My father, he'll understand.
1246
01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:08,690
I'll be right back.
1247
01:16:13,403 --> 01:16:16,823
I must say, you are more like
your father than I thought.
1248
01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:19,033
Oh, really? Why do you say that, general?
1249
01:16:19,117 --> 01:16:21,369
Snatching up this bastard boy from america
1250
01:16:21,453 --> 01:16:24,748
and throwing him into our kingly affairs,
1251
01:16:25,498 --> 01:16:27,333
like a chess pawn?
1252
01:16:29,419 --> 01:16:32,172
Your pawn just took a future queen,
1253
01:16:32,255 --> 01:16:34,716
and now there can be peace.
1254
01:16:35,383 --> 01:16:36,801
And profit.
1255
01:16:38,470 --> 01:16:40,096
Well played, king akeem.
1256
01:16:40,180 --> 01:16:42,098
Well played.
1257
01:16:48,980 --> 01:16:51,858
I need to find my mom.
I need to find my uncle reem.
1258
01:16:53,151 --> 01:16:55,487
We got to bust out of this bullshit, man.
1259
01:16:55,570 --> 01:16:57,280
Why? Where are we going?
1260
01:16:57,363 --> 01:16:58,782
Home.
1261
01:17:00,408 --> 01:17:01,618
A home...
1262
01:17:02,535 --> 01:17:05,789
A home that we can build together.
1263
01:17:24,724 --> 01:17:26,518
Where is prince lavelle?
1264
01:17:26,601 --> 01:17:29,562
My prince asked me to stay here
about an hour ago.
1265
01:17:33,817 --> 01:17:37,821
Prince lavelle junson was seen fleeing
with the royal groomer.
1266
01:17:37,904 --> 01:17:41,282
And he took his uncle reem
and that wretched woman with him, as well.
1267
01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:45,119
Show respect.
She is still the mother of my son.
1268
01:17:45,203 --> 01:17:47,497
She took the royal jet.
1269
01:17:47,580 --> 01:17:49,249
That thieving bitch.
1270
01:17:49,332 --> 01:17:50,792
King akeem.
1271
01:17:51,876 --> 01:17:53,837
Where is your prince?
1272
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:58,049
I do believe he has gone
for one of his evening strolls.
1273
01:17:58,132 --> 01:18:00,052
He does that from time to time
to clear his mind.
1274
01:18:01,719 --> 01:18:04,180
I hope he's not getting cold feet.
1275
01:18:05,098 --> 01:18:06,516
Nonsense.
1276
01:18:06,599 --> 01:18:07,934
Good.
1277
01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:11,145
Because I will be expecting
a wedding tomorrow.
1278
01:18:11,229 --> 01:18:12,647
Of course.
1279
01:18:16,609 --> 01:18:20,071
Wedding bells, wedding bells.
1280
01:18:22,448 --> 01:18:25,577
After everything that I have done for him,
I can't believe he has done this.
1281
01:18:25,660 --> 01:18:27,620
I make him a prince, I give him a chance
1282
01:18:27,704 --> 01:18:30,707
to finally make something of himself,
and this is how he repays me!
1283
01:18:30,790 --> 01:18:34,168
I finally made a friend from my own hood,
1284
01:18:34,252 --> 01:18:36,045
and now she's gone.
1285
01:18:37,046 --> 01:18:39,674
I'ma miss her crazy ass.
1286
01:18:39,757 --> 01:18:41,676
He could've told me about this groomer.
1287
01:18:41,759 --> 01:18:44,345
But, no, instead he runs off
to america without a word to me.
1288
01:18:44,429 --> 01:18:47,849
It is the most selfish act,
unworthy of a joffer!
1289
01:18:47,932 --> 01:18:49,392
It is spineless!
1290
01:18:49,475 --> 01:18:52,228
Like father, like son.
1291
01:18:52,312 --> 01:18:53,396
What did you say?
1292
01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:55,440
- Uppity bitch say what?
- What?
1293
01:18:59,444 --> 01:19:01,279
You are intoxicated, my queen.
1294
01:19:01,362 --> 01:19:03,489
All kinds of wiggity-wack stuff happens
1295
01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:06,367
when you are drunk and high,
1296
01:19:06,451 --> 01:19:10,079
including making babies
1297
01:19:10,163 --> 01:19:14,250
that you don't know anything about.
1298
01:19:14,334 --> 01:19:16,669
Right now you are getting
very in and out of my pocket.
1299
01:19:17,795 --> 01:19:19,672
Are you trying to say I'm out of pocket?
1300
01:19:19,756 --> 01:19:21,942
- When a person is drunk...
- So when a woman speaks her mind...
1301
01:19:21,966 --> 01:19:24,486
- They may say something they regret...
- Including our daughter...
1302
01:19:24,510 --> 01:19:26,179
So I suggest you mind your tongue!
1303
01:19:30,058 --> 01:19:32,018
What happened to you, akeem?
1304
01:19:32,769 --> 01:19:35,396
You were supposed to change things.
1305
01:19:36,356 --> 01:19:39,525
You were supposed to bring
this kingdom to the 21st century,
1306
01:19:39,609 --> 01:19:43,529
but instead, you push our daughter aside,
1307
01:19:43,613 --> 01:19:49,035
someone who has dedicated
her life to this country.
1308
01:19:49,118 --> 01:19:51,162
And because she's a woman,
1309
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:53,915
she can't be your heir?
1310
01:19:53,998 --> 01:19:57,293
I cannot ignore
hundreds of years of tradition.
1311
01:19:57,377 --> 01:19:59,003
I am the ruler of this land.
1312
01:19:59,087 --> 01:20:00,380
I must be strong.
1313
01:20:05,718 --> 01:20:06,719
I get it.
1314
01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:09,681
You're the king.
1315
01:20:10,682 --> 01:20:12,684
Well, I'll tell you what.
1316
01:20:12,767 --> 01:20:15,728
There are a lot of other beds
in this castle.
1317
01:20:16,938 --> 01:20:19,315
I suggest you find another one.
1318
01:20:20,066 --> 01:20:23,987
Would you dare banish me
from my own bedroom?
1319
01:20:25,154 --> 01:20:26,155
Are you a fool?
1320
01:20:26,239 --> 01:20:29,701
Do you see me hopping on one leg
and barking like a dog?
1321
01:20:56,644 --> 01:20:59,355
- What the hell is going on here?
- He's in the back.
1322
01:20:59,439 --> 01:21:01,607
He's been here for hours.
1323
01:21:08,031 --> 01:21:09,323
Akeem.
1324
01:21:10,992 --> 01:21:12,368
How you doing, son?
1325
01:21:14,370 --> 01:21:16,164
I used to quite enjoy mopping.
1326
01:21:16,247 --> 01:21:18,458
It was simple, and it made sense.
1327
01:21:23,212 --> 01:21:26,049
Every day, I have moved
closer to the comforts of life,
1328
01:21:26,132 --> 01:21:28,426
and now my eyes are open,
1329
01:21:28,509 --> 01:21:31,679
and the man that I always wanted to be
is on the other side of the world.
1330
01:21:31,763 --> 01:21:33,097
Lavehe.
1331
01:21:33,181 --> 01:21:37,060
Yes, he has fleed to america
for love just as I did.
1332
01:21:37,143 --> 01:21:40,772
And now, because of my stubbornness,
I have run off my own son.
1333
01:21:42,315 --> 01:21:43,775
Failed him as a father.
1334
01:21:43,858 --> 01:21:45,902
You're not just a father.
1335
01:21:46,652 --> 01:21:48,112
You're the king.
1336
01:21:48,196 --> 01:21:51,532
And heavy lies the head
that wears the crown.
1337
01:21:51,616 --> 01:21:53,993
Yes, I understand
that expression more now.
1338
01:21:54,077 --> 01:21:56,454
It's not so much the crown
that is so heavy.
1339
01:21:56,537 --> 01:21:58,372
It's everything that comes with it.
1340
01:22:00,124 --> 01:22:02,168
You've got your country to run
1341
01:22:02,251 --> 01:22:05,129
and a crazy-ass general
breathing down your neck.
1342
01:22:05,213 --> 01:22:09,634
And on top of all that,
you've got to be a husband and a father.
1343
01:22:09,717 --> 01:22:11,719
Yes, you can see that is most troubling.
1344
01:22:11,803 --> 01:22:13,513
- I get it.
- Of course you get it.
1345
01:22:13,596 --> 01:22:15,681
You are the king of your own castle.
1346
01:22:15,765 --> 01:22:18,267
And the troubles never stop, akeem.
1347
01:22:18,351 --> 01:22:21,646
When I introduced the mcflurby,
the McDonald's lawyers came after me
1348
01:22:21,729 --> 01:22:24,565
the same way this general izzi
is coming after you.
1349
01:22:24,649 --> 01:22:28,653
Cease-and-desist letters,
copyright infringement.
1350
01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:32,824
I mean, the mcflurby
is nothing like the mcflurry.
1351
01:22:32,907 --> 01:22:35,284
We put our toppings on the bottom.
1352
01:22:36,786 --> 01:22:38,371
So you have to stay strong.
1353
01:22:38,454 --> 01:22:40,289
And you have to put mcdowell's first.
1354
01:22:40,373 --> 01:22:42,917
- I am mcdowell's.
- And I am zamunda.
1355
01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:44,335
It's not the golden arches.
1356
01:22:44,418 --> 01:22:46,420
- It's the golden arcs.
- It's the golden arcs.
1357
01:22:46,504 --> 01:22:47,839
And I'm the boss.
1358
01:22:47,922 --> 01:22:50,007
And I am the mf'ing king.
1359
01:22:50,091 --> 01:22:51,342
You damn right you are.
1360
01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:54,262
Cleo, thank you.
1361
01:22:54,345 --> 01:22:57,056
I much needed to hear
the wisdom of a father.
1362
01:22:57,140 --> 01:22:58,891
Well, I'm sure your father
would understand
1363
01:22:58,975 --> 01:23:01,269
- what you're going through.
- Yes.
1364
01:23:03,521 --> 01:23:04,981
Akeem.
1365
01:23:06,607 --> 01:23:09,277
What do you think
your mother would say now?
1366
01:23:10,653 --> 01:23:11,904
My mother?
1367
01:23:12,530 --> 01:23:13,698
The queen.
1368
01:23:14,574 --> 01:23:19,120
I always thought that
she was the wisest of all the joffers.
1369
01:23:19,203 --> 01:23:21,122
What do you think
she would say to you now, son?
1370
01:23:31,174 --> 01:23:32,675
Zamundans, rise.
1371
01:23:32,758 --> 01:23:34,260
Prepare the royal jet.
1372
01:23:34,343 --> 01:23:37,805
I shall return to america
and retrieve this errant child of mine.
1373
01:23:37,889 --> 01:23:39,765
General izzi will return in one day,
1374
01:23:39,849 --> 01:23:43,060
and if there's no wedding,
he most certainly will attack.
1375
01:23:43,144 --> 01:23:45,104
You stay here and protect my family.
1376
01:23:45,188 --> 01:23:47,523
I'm no warrior, your majesty.
1377
01:23:47,607 --> 01:23:50,484
Remember who you are.
You are a son of zamunda.
1378
01:23:50,568 --> 01:23:51,903
Be strong.
1379
01:23:58,492 --> 01:24:02,079
And I'll tell you something else.
I only like redbone gals.
1380
01:24:02,163 --> 01:24:04,582
See, that's where we part.
I like my women black.
1381
01:24:04,665 --> 01:24:07,627
I want a woman so black,
when you make love, you need a flashlight.
1382
01:24:07,710 --> 01:24:09,587
I'm looking for the good stuff, man.
1383
01:24:09,670 --> 01:24:12,965
- Hey! Mufasa!
- Hey, I hear you got your boy back.
1384
01:24:13,049 --> 01:24:15,718
My son has returned to queens.
It is most urgent that I find him.
1385
01:24:15,801 --> 01:24:19,472
You know, he was here a little while ago
with a fine, little, pretty African thing.
1386
01:24:19,555 --> 01:24:21,915
Wasn't she fine? Yeah, talking about
getting her a job here.
1387
01:24:21,974 --> 01:24:23,434
Then they gonna save up her money.
1388
01:24:23,517 --> 01:24:25,245
- Then she gonna get her own place.
- That's right.
1389
01:24:25,269 --> 01:24:27,331
I told her she could start right now,
she was so fine.
1390
01:24:27,355 --> 01:24:29,675
- That's right.
- But they had to go off to their nuptials.
1391
01:24:31,234 --> 01:24:32,652
Their nuptials?
1392
01:24:32,735 --> 01:24:34,278
- Yeah.
- Where?
1393
01:24:34,362 --> 01:24:37,573
Near that Chinese restaurant
where I caught the runs last Saturday.
1394
01:24:37,657 --> 01:24:39,158
- What?
- King yum's.
1395
01:24:39,242 --> 01:24:41,386
- Gentlemen, I have no time for this.
- That egg foo young
1396
01:24:41,410 --> 01:24:45,498
made me have to stop off at my sister's
last week and make an emergency dump.
1397
01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:47,083
Silence!
1398
01:24:47,166 --> 01:24:49,877
I have no time to listen to your stories
about your bowel movements.
1399
01:24:49,961 --> 01:24:51,837
Where is the ceremony?
1400
01:24:51,921 --> 01:24:54,382
- Church of holy jubilation.
- Thank you.
1401
01:24:56,467 --> 01:24:57,802
You're welcome.
1402
01:25:00,263 --> 01:25:02,598
Who the hell he think he talking to?
Coming in here...
1403
01:25:02,682 --> 01:25:04,409
Just 'cause he a king.
I got a dog named king.
1404
01:25:04,433 --> 01:25:06,662
He ain't the king of this shop.
I'm the king of this shop.
1405
01:25:06,686 --> 01:25:09,730
- Exactly.
- He was nicer when he was a prince.
1406
01:25:17,405 --> 01:25:19,031
Is this a pious house of god?
1407
01:25:19,115 --> 01:25:21,867
If "pious" means cheap,
well, then you right.
1408
01:25:21,951 --> 01:25:24,996
This the best house of god we could find
on a Tuesday afternoon.
1409
01:25:25,079 --> 01:25:26,872
So let's get these rings on these fingers
1410
01:25:26,956 --> 01:25:29,000
before the all-day shrimp
ends at sizzler's.
1411
01:25:29,083 --> 01:25:32,044
I don't even know why
they call it "all-day." It ends at 6:00.
1412
01:25:32,128 --> 01:25:35,298
Look, baby, it's about the love, okay?
Not the shrimp.
1413
01:25:35,381 --> 01:25:36,924
- What's a sizzler?
- It's nothing.
1414
01:25:48,477 --> 01:25:52,064
I assume the prince has returned
from his midnight stroll
1415
01:25:52,148 --> 01:25:55,735
and is prepared to marry my daughter.
1416
01:25:55,818 --> 01:25:58,237
My apologies, general.
1417
01:25:58,321 --> 01:26:01,782
Prince lavelle is currently indisposed.
1418
01:26:02,616 --> 01:26:03,701
Indisposed?
1419
01:26:03,784 --> 01:26:05,161
Really?
1420
01:26:06,579 --> 01:26:10,541
I will not continue to be jerked around
like a howler monkey
1421
01:26:10,624 --> 01:26:13,127
grazing in a field of horny goat weeds.
1422
01:26:13,794 --> 01:26:17,006
Now, you tell me, where is king akeem?
1423
01:26:31,354 --> 01:26:34,065
All right. Let's get hitched.
1424
01:26:35,858 --> 01:26:37,360
Let there be light.
1425
01:26:39,987 --> 01:26:43,824
We are gathered here today
1426
01:26:43,908 --> 01:26:48,120
for the meeting
of these two beautiful souls,
1427
01:26:48,204 --> 01:26:52,124
pressed together like
a pair of sumptuous...
1428
01:26:53,209 --> 01:26:54,627
Beings.
1429
01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:56,587
Yeah, lord.
1430
01:26:56,670 --> 01:26:59,298
- Amen! Amen!
- Amen!
1431
01:26:59,382 --> 01:27:00,966
- Feel his presence?
- Yes, father.
1432
01:27:01,050 --> 01:27:05,596
- I can't wait to go home and be with him.
- Look, I just want to apologize.
1433
01:27:05,679 --> 01:27:10,017
I know this isn't exactly the wedding
you've always imagined.
1434
01:27:10,101 --> 01:27:12,478
I don't know why you would apologize.
1435
01:27:12,561 --> 01:27:15,731
I'd always imagined there'd be
a womanizing, sexist officiant
1436
01:27:15,815 --> 01:27:19,652
leading a very strange ceremony
in black socks.
1437
01:27:20,820 --> 01:27:22,822
It couldn't be more perfect.
1438
01:27:22,905 --> 01:27:25,366
- So nice, I want 'em to say it twice.
- Go on, preacher!
1439
01:27:25,449 --> 01:27:26,492
Amen!
1440
01:27:26,575 --> 01:27:28,702
- Say it again.
- Hallelujah! Amen!
1441
01:27:28,786 --> 01:27:30,329
- Yes!
- Go on, girl!
1442
01:27:30,413 --> 01:27:32,206
- Yeah!
- That's right, girl.
1443
01:27:32,289 --> 01:27:33,290
You family now.
1444
01:27:36,168 --> 01:27:37,545
Take her.
1445
01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:42,967
Keep her as a prisoner
until king akeem gives me my answer.
1446
01:27:43,926 --> 01:27:45,886
- Zoot!
- Zoot!
1447
01:27:59,275 --> 01:28:01,444
Teach this girl some respect.
1448
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:18,961
Halt!
1449
01:28:20,129 --> 01:28:21,889
Take me to the church
of the holy jubilation.
1450
01:28:21,922 --> 01:28:24,383
Sorry, pal. You're gonna
have to go into the app.
1451
01:28:24,467 --> 01:28:27,136
You can get a lyft Lux.
It's rush hour surge pricing.
1452
01:28:27,219 --> 01:28:28,819
You might want to look for a promo code.
1453
01:28:35,311 --> 01:28:38,689
Fighting is not for pretty girls
and princesses.
1454
01:28:38,772 --> 01:28:41,775
Your king and father
should have taught you
1455
01:28:41,859 --> 01:28:45,070
to be more polite,
1456
01:28:45,154 --> 01:28:46,780
not so nasty.
1457
01:28:55,539 --> 01:28:58,417
Defend yourself,
you sweat from a baboon's balls.
1458
01:29:22,316 --> 01:29:23,316
Meeka!
1459
01:29:38,040 --> 01:29:42,545
Perhaps now you would like
to solve your problems diplomatically.
1460
01:29:45,464 --> 01:29:47,424
Do I have your attention?
1461
01:29:49,343 --> 01:29:50,761
I'm listening.
1462
01:29:51,762 --> 01:29:54,848
Now it's time
for the main event, young folks.
1463
01:29:55,683 --> 01:29:58,143
Lavelle junson, do you take...
1464
01:29:58,227 --> 01:30:00,312
Stop!
1465
01:30:02,022 --> 01:30:04,733
Did you run here all the way from Africa?
1466
01:30:04,817 --> 01:30:07,152
Lavelle, you cannot do this.
1467
01:30:07,236 --> 01:30:09,530
And you cannot turn your back
on your family.
1468
01:30:09,613 --> 01:30:11,657
Family? Let me tell you something!
1469
01:30:11,740 --> 01:30:14,094
- I raised that boy!
- You ain't gonna run here from zamunda...
1470
01:30:14,118 --> 01:30:15,744
I know what I am to you!
1471
01:30:17,121 --> 01:30:19,373
I heard everything
general izzi said to you.
1472
01:30:19,456 --> 01:30:22,167
Using me as a chess pawn, right?
1473
01:30:22,251 --> 01:30:24,670
- Lavelle, my son...
- Don't "son" me!
1474
01:30:24,753 --> 01:30:28,257
I'm gonna live my life
with the woman I love.
1475
01:30:29,008 --> 01:30:31,802
Ain't no castle or mountain of gold
1476
01:30:31,885 --> 01:30:33,929
that's gonna stop me from loving her.
1477
01:30:35,472 --> 01:30:37,808
And I'ma try my hardest to make her happy.
1478
01:30:39,560 --> 01:30:42,438
Now, do you or do you not understand that?
1479
01:31:01,874 --> 01:31:02,958
I do.
1480
01:31:10,007 --> 01:31:12,134
Long ago, I had your spirit.
1481
01:31:14,178 --> 01:31:17,556
I may not have been
as brave as you, lavelle junson,
1482
01:31:18,474 --> 01:31:20,267
but I know true love.
1483
01:31:21,352 --> 01:31:26,190
When I told my mother that
my true love was my queen Lisa,
1484
01:31:27,149 --> 01:31:29,151
she urged me to go to her,
1485
01:31:29,234 --> 01:31:31,695
just as you have for your bride.
1486
01:31:32,863 --> 01:31:35,491
The burdens of my country
are not yours to carry.
1487
01:31:36,575 --> 01:31:38,827
And if you want to stay here
in queens and marry
1488
01:31:38,911 --> 01:31:42,122
this fine zamundan woman,
I shall not stand in your path.
1489
01:31:42,206 --> 01:31:45,459
I've been ruled by fear for far too long.
1490
01:31:45,542 --> 01:31:48,253
It's time for me to start
becoming my own king.
1491
01:31:51,590 --> 01:31:53,384
My own man.
1492
01:31:55,552 --> 01:31:57,846
Just as you did, my son.
1493
01:32:03,519 --> 01:32:06,897
So, please excuse my intrusion.
Carry on, please.
1494
01:32:06,980 --> 01:32:09,942
Oh, wait, wait, we into overtime now.
I need 200 more dollars.
1495
01:32:10,025 --> 01:32:12,462
What you need is to start this ceremony
before I come up there
1496
01:32:12,486 --> 01:32:14,988
- and beat your...
- Mary, Mary, if our son
1497
01:32:15,072 --> 01:32:18,242
wants to be married
in this glorious house of...
1498
01:32:18,325 --> 01:32:20,536
In this glorious house...
1499
01:32:21,495 --> 01:32:23,372
This is a house of god, isn't it?
1500
01:32:23,455 --> 01:32:25,082
More like a crack house of god.
1501
01:32:26,250 --> 01:32:28,752
Then it shall be as magnificent
as a palace ceremony.
1502
01:32:28,836 --> 01:32:29,878
Come. Sit.
1503
01:32:31,880 --> 01:32:33,090
Yes, continue.
1504
01:32:33,173 --> 01:32:35,008
This doesn't feel right.
1505
01:32:35,884 --> 01:32:37,761
What? You don't want to get married?
1506
01:32:37,845 --> 01:32:41,348
No, I'm not saying
I don't want to get married.
1507
01:32:41,432 --> 01:32:44,226
- Then what?
- Zamunda's my home.
1508
01:32:44,309 --> 01:32:46,895
It is my pride and my joy.
1509
01:32:47,771 --> 01:32:49,648
And what about your sisters?
1510
01:32:50,774 --> 01:32:51,984
You think they don't need you?
1511
01:32:53,444 --> 01:32:54,820
Well...
1512
01:32:56,113 --> 01:32:58,115
Maybe we should get married at the palace.
1513
01:32:58,198 --> 01:33:00,492
But what about your people here?
1514
01:33:01,160 --> 01:33:03,162
What about the land of queens?
1515
01:33:03,245 --> 01:33:04,246
Wait.
1516
01:33:05,998 --> 01:33:07,791
Hear me now.
1517
01:33:07,875 --> 01:33:10,419
I am king akeem joffer,
1518
01:33:10,502 --> 01:33:13,213
and I'm bestowed with great power.
1519
01:33:13,297 --> 01:33:17,551
I shall bring queens to zamunda!
1520
01:33:17,634 --> 01:33:18,927
Yes!
1521
01:33:19,011 --> 01:33:20,554
That's what I'm talking about.
1522
01:33:20,637 --> 01:33:22,765
They still wear silk.
1523
01:33:22,848 --> 01:33:24,308
Where the hell is zamunda?
1524
01:33:33,025 --> 01:33:35,444
Someone to care
1525
01:33:36,445 --> 01:33:39,865
someone to share
1526
01:33:39,948 --> 01:33:42,242
lonely hours
1527
01:33:42,326 --> 01:33:45,204
and moments of despair
1528
01:33:45,287 --> 01:33:48,749
- to be loved, to be loved
- to be loved, to be loved
1529
01:33:48,832 --> 01:33:52,044
oh, what a feeling
1530
01:33:52,127 --> 01:33:56,298
to be loved
1531
01:33:59,843 --> 01:34:02,387
someone to kiss
1532
01:34:03,722 --> 01:34:07,142
someone to miss
1533
01:34:07,226 --> 01:34:09,353
when you're away
1534
01:34:09,436 --> 01:34:12,773
to hear from each day
1535
01:34:12,856 --> 01:34:14,358
- to be loved - to be loved...
1536
01:34:14,441 --> 01:34:16,360
I will always do
what is right for zamunda.
1537
01:34:16,443 --> 01:34:18,362
That is my oath as king.
1538
01:34:19,696 --> 01:34:21,031
And I promise you,
1539
01:34:21,114 --> 01:34:24,535
I shall always do
what is right for our family.
1540
01:34:25,202 --> 01:34:27,704
That is my oath to you,
1541
01:34:27,788 --> 01:34:29,039
Lisa,
1542
01:34:29,748 --> 01:34:31,208
my queen.
1543
01:34:36,505 --> 01:34:42,135
What a feeling to be loved
1544
01:34:53,438 --> 01:34:56,984
Presenting the crown prince of zamunda,
1545
01:34:57,067 --> 01:34:58,610
prince lavelle,
1546
01:34:58,694 --> 01:35:02,030
and his bride, Princess mirembe.
1547
01:35:33,604 --> 01:35:36,732
I think my kingdom was safer
with me gone and you in charge.
1548
01:35:36,815 --> 01:35:41,528
I simply acted as my father
and king has instructed.
1549
01:35:41,612 --> 01:35:44,323
And that is why
I've issued a decree to baba.
1550
01:35:46,158 --> 01:35:47,451
When I am gone,
1551
01:35:48,452 --> 01:35:51,622
meeka joffer shall rule as queen.
1552
01:35:52,372 --> 01:35:54,750
- But the laws.
- Will change.
1553
01:35:54,833 --> 01:35:57,002
With more changes to come
with your guidance.
1554
01:35:57,085 --> 01:35:59,338
And what about prince lavelle?
1555
01:35:59,421 --> 01:36:02,841
Prince lavelle shall serve
as an ambassador to america.
1556
01:36:04,009 --> 01:36:06,887
- Thank you.
- And as your brother.
1557
01:36:12,100 --> 01:36:13,685
Forgive an old fool.
1558
01:36:16,521 --> 01:36:19,274
An old fool who loves you very much.
1559
01:36:26,281 --> 01:36:27,741
- Hi.
- This is Mary.
1560
01:36:27,824 --> 01:36:29,910
How y'all doing? Y'all look good tonight.
1561
01:36:29,993 --> 01:36:32,704
Hey. How you doing?
Girl, you is making a statement with that.
1562
01:36:32,788 --> 01:36:34,223
- You is making a statement.
- Thank you.
1563
01:36:34,247 --> 01:36:35,624
King akeem.
1564
01:36:37,084 --> 01:36:40,796
Love has once again triumphed in zamunda.
1565
01:36:43,215 --> 01:36:46,468
Oh, children, you can go and play.
Go dance. Shake your booties off.
1566
01:36:46,551 --> 01:36:50,097
I hear the trade routes
have reopened between our nations.
1567
01:36:50,180 --> 01:36:51,264
Yes.
1568
01:36:51,348 --> 01:36:57,562
It will be a prosperous
and peaceful time for us old heads.
1569
01:36:58,814 --> 01:37:03,235
I want to thank you for releasing
my sister from her canine curse.
1570
01:37:18,250 --> 01:37:20,168
Yeah, give it up! Give it up for davido!
1571
01:37:21,378 --> 01:37:22,379
My man.
1572
01:37:22,462 --> 01:37:23,922
All right, all right.
1573
01:37:24,006 --> 01:37:25,465
Where are my people from zamunda at?
1574
01:37:29,428 --> 01:37:32,055
I dig all that. Okay, now,
where my people from queens at?
1575
01:37:32,139 --> 01:37:33,140
Queens!
1576
01:37:33,223 --> 01:37:34,891
- Yeah!
- Hey, right here!
1577
01:37:34,975 --> 01:37:37,695
- We in the house! We in zamunda!
- In the building! In the building!
1578
01:37:39,563 --> 01:37:41,565
Well, I can dig that, too.
1579
01:37:41,648 --> 01:37:44,651
We're about to fix it
into overdrive, okay?
1580
01:37:44,735 --> 01:37:48,196
First of all, shout-out
to king akeem and his family
1581
01:37:48,280 --> 01:37:51,116
for bringing my favorite artist
back to Africa.
1582
01:37:51,199 --> 01:37:52,701
Who is it? Who is it?
1583
01:37:52,784 --> 01:37:54,661
- Wait, Kendrick Lamar?
- No.
1584
01:37:54,745 --> 01:37:56,872
All right, we gonna
take this old-school now, okay?
1585
01:37:56,955 --> 01:37:58,290
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1586
01:37:58,373 --> 01:37:59,750
- Mary j. Blige.
- No.
1587
01:37:59,833 --> 01:38:01,835
- Diana Ross!
- Nope.
1588
01:38:01,918 --> 01:38:05,005
He's my cousin. He's also my inspiration.
1589
01:38:05,088 --> 01:38:08,175
- Okay? He's the wind beneath my wings.
- Don't play.
1590
01:38:08,258 --> 01:38:10,218
Who could be better
than Diana Ross? Tell me!
1591
01:38:10,302 --> 01:38:11,928
- You'll see.
- Okay, I want y'all
1592
01:38:12,012 --> 01:38:15,390
to put your hands together
for Randy Watson!
1593
01:38:15,474 --> 01:38:17,100
Randy Watson in here?
1594
01:38:17,184 --> 01:38:18,935
- And his band...
- Oh, lord.
1595
01:38:19,019 --> 01:38:21,271
Sexual chocolate!
1596
01:38:32,115 --> 01:38:33,992
Everyone can see
1597
01:38:34,076 --> 01:38:36,328
we 're together
1598
01:38:36,411 --> 01:38:39,664
as we walk on by
1599
01:38:39,748 --> 01:38:43,376
and we tight just like birds of a feather
1600
01:38:43,460 --> 01:38:47,589
- well, I won't tell no lie - we
1601
01:38:47,672 --> 01:38:52,427
all of the people around me, they say
1602
01:38:52,511 --> 01:38:54,554
can they be that close?
1603
01:38:55,472 --> 01:38:57,641
Just let me state for the record
1604
01:38:57,724 --> 01:38:58,850
that boy good.
1605
01:38:59,768 --> 01:39:03,480
We 're giving love in a family dose
1606
01:39:03,563 --> 01:39:06,108
we are family
1607
01:39:07,484 --> 01:39:09,569
I got sexual chocolate with me
1608
01:39:09,653 --> 01:39:11,071
feel me, now.
1609
01:39:11,154 --> 01:39:15,075
I just want to tell you that every Sunday,
I take my mama to get a mcflurby.
1610
01:39:15,158 --> 01:39:16,493
I love you, Cleo.
1611
01:39:19,204 --> 01:39:22,207
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
without any further ado,
1612
01:39:22,290 --> 01:39:25,585
I give you fresh peaches and sugar cube!
1613
01:39:25,669 --> 01:39:27,546
My name is peaches, and I'm the best
1614
01:39:27,629 --> 01:39:29,548
all the DJs want to feel my breasts
1615
01:39:31,133 --> 01:39:33,677
still got the looks, still got the sass
1616
01:39:33,760 --> 01:39:35,637
been 30 years, and I still got ass
1617
01:39:42,644 --> 01:39:43,645
Play that saxophone.
1618
01:39:47,941 --> 01:39:51,236
It's a party over here! Party over here!
1619
01:39:52,028 --> 01:39:53,613
Amen.
1620
01:39:53,697 --> 01:39:55,824
God woke me up early this morning.
1621
01:39:55,907 --> 01:39:57,760
- Yes, he did
-said if you ain't got somebody to love,
1622
01:39:57,784 --> 01:39:59,327
go out and find somebody to love.
1623
01:39:59,411 --> 01:40:01,413
-Find somebody to love
-'cause life's about love.
1624
01:40:01,496 --> 01:40:03,331
-L/fe's about love
-and life's about family.
1625
01:40:03,415 --> 01:40:05,417
-L/fe's about fam/ly -amen.
1626
01:40:05,500 --> 01:40:07,919
-Amen -Randy Watson.
1627
01:40:08,003 --> 01:40:09,438
-Randy Watson is my name
-take us home.
1628
01:40:09,462 --> 01:40:11,089
Take us home, now
1629
01:40:11,173 --> 01:40:12,716
if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
1630
01:40:12,799 --> 01:40:15,510
I got sexual chocolate with me...
1631
01:40:15,594 --> 01:40:17,846
- Hey.
- What say you, brother?
1632
01:40:17,929 --> 01:40:21,266
Would you like to leave all this
and go back to queens?
1633
01:40:21,349 --> 01:40:23,685
Get up, everybody, and sing
1634
01:40:24,519 --> 01:40:27,814
we are family
1635
01:40:28,607 --> 01:40:31,526
I got sexual chocolate with me
1636
01:40:32,319 --> 01:40:33,320
- nah.
- Nah.
1637
01:40:33,403 --> 01:40:34,738
We are family
1638
01:40:34,821 --> 01:40:35,989
go, uncle reem!
1639
01:40:36,740 --> 01:40:39,409
Get up, everybody, and sing
1640
01:40:40,994 --> 01:40:43,997
we are family
1641
01:40:44,915 --> 01:40:47,542
I got sexual chocolate with me
1642
01:40:47,626 --> 01:40:49,252
sexual chocolate
1643
01:40:49,336 --> 01:40:52,214
we are family
1644
01:40:53,048 --> 01:40:55,592
get up, everybody, and sing
1645
01:40:57,761 --> 01:41:00,305
we are family
1646
01:41:01,348 --> 01:41:04,267
I got sexual chocolate with me
1647
01:41:05,435 --> 01:41:07,812
we are family
1648
01:41:07,896 --> 01:41:09,272
yes, we are.
1649
01:41:09,356 --> 01:41:11,816
Get up, everybody, and sing
1650
01:41:15,654 --> 01:41:17,072
one time.
1651
01:41:21,284 --> 01:41:22,869
Two times.
1652
01:41:26,665 --> 01:41:27,916
Three times.
1653
01:41:59,656 --> 01:42:01,783
It seems that the last time I...
1654
01:42:01,866 --> 01:42:03,827
I only recently...
1655
01:42:05,036 --> 01:42:06,037
I can do that better.
1656
01:42:06,121 --> 01:42:07,455
Bastard child here.
1657
01:42:08,164 --> 01:42:09,833
- Let's cut.
- Cutting.
1658
01:42:09,916 --> 01:42:12,961
Inherited your father's
unforgiving memory.
1659
01:42:13,044 --> 01:42:15,046
Who you talking to?
1660
01:42:16,923 --> 01:42:19,301
Get that stupid look off your face.
1661
01:42:21,553 --> 01:42:22,971
I'm trying to rouse the lion.
1662
01:42:26,016 --> 01:42:27,017
Lion!
1663
01:42:28,268 --> 01:42:30,020
Got the whiskers.
1664
01:42:30,103 --> 01:42:32,314
They from a lion.
1665
01:42:32,397 --> 01:42:34,357
- Look at that.
- That's my thing.
1666
01:42:35,942 --> 01:42:37,277
Acting mine, that's good.
1667
01:42:37,360 --> 01:42:39,612
He has already ordered your... shit.
1668
01:42:39,696 --> 01:42:41,823
- My ex-lax?
- Cut.
1669
01:42:43,158 --> 01:42:45,368
- Line.
- Reset!
1670
01:42:45,452 --> 01:42:47,454
I've been a... oh, boy.
1671
01:42:47,537 --> 01:42:49,914
- Oh, my bad.
- I would nothing more... I would...
1672
01:42:50,623 --> 01:42:52,334
Let's do it again.
1673
01:43:13,938 --> 01:43:16,858
Is anybody gonna tell me why
these mashed potatoes is black?
1674
01:43:19,152 --> 01:43:20,862
You damn right you are.
1675
01:43:20,945 --> 01:43:22,322
Thank you.
1676
01:43:35,460 --> 01:43:38,838
Vacations were canceled, holidays ignored.
1677
01:43:38,922 --> 01:43:41,633
People didn't even...
Wait a minute. What was that line?
1678
01:43:47,639 --> 01:43:49,432
Master of disaster!
1679
01:43:49,516 --> 01:43:51,768
Punisher of infidel!
1680
01:43:51,851 --> 01:43:53,937
The midnight train to Georgia.
1681
01:43:56,981 --> 01:43:59,692
- Shit!
- I'm sorry.
1682
01:43:59,776 --> 01:44:01,569
He actually kicked me in the ass.
1683
01:44:01,653 --> 01:44:03,446
I kicked you in the leg. Come on.
1684
01:44:03,530 --> 01:44:04,864
That wasn't no acting.
1685
01:44:09,369 --> 01:44:16,376
She's your queen to be
1686
01:44:16,459 --> 01:44:20,713
a queen to be forever
1687
01:44:20,797 --> 01:44:24,759
a queen who 7! Do whatever
1688
01:44:24,843 --> 01:44:29,889
his highness desires
1689
01:44:29,973 --> 01:44:36,980
she's your queen to be
1690
01:44:37,063 --> 01:44:40,942
a vision of perfection
1691
01:44:41,025 --> 01:44:44,529
an object of afi'ection
1692
01:44:44,612 --> 01:44:48,491
to quench your royal fire
1693
01:44:48,575 --> 01:44:52,370
completely free
1694
01:44:52,454 --> 01:44:56,332
from infection
1695
01:44:56,416 --> 01:45:03,089
to be used at your discretion
1696
01:45:03,173 --> 01:45:05,633
waiting only
1697
01:45:05,717 --> 01:45:11,347
for your direction
1698
01:45:12,098 --> 01:45:17,353
your queen to
1699
01:45:27,030 --> 01:45:28,740
Good night, zamunda!
1700
01:47:38,620 --> 01:47:40,747
Way down in the jungle deep,
1701
01:47:40,830 --> 01:47:44,208
the lion stepped on
the signified monkey's feet.
1702
01:47:45,293 --> 01:47:49,881
The monkey said,
"hey, you bastard, can't you see?
1703
01:47:49,964 --> 01:47:53,259
You're standing on my goddamn feet!"
1704
01:47:55,595 --> 01:47:59,098
Hey, what is this, velvet?
119361
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