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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,490 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,592 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,594 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,262 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,898 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,166 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,168 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,170 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,007 - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,110 ♪ we've a lovable space That needs your face ♪ 11 00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:37,013 ♪ three's company too ♪ 12 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,883 ♪ you'll see that Life is a ball again ♪ 13 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:43,319 ♪ laughter is calling for you ♪ 14 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:46,423 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:49,113 ♪ three's company too ♪ 16 00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:11,414 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 17 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,171 ♪ three's company too. ♪ 18 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:20,156 - mrs. Roper: stanley? - what? 19 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:23,482 come on in here a minute. I Wanna show you something. 20 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,953 Aw, helen, not before breakfast. 21 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:35,805 I'm talking about the Sink. It's stopped up. 22 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,207 What did you block It up with this time? 23 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:42,066 Nothing! I was just Putting on my makeup. 24 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,970 I think you need a second coat. 25 00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:53,890 And I think you need To replace that sink. 26 00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,847 Are you crazy? 27 00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,564 You can't throw Away a sink like that. 28 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:03,299 Look at the workmanship. 29 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,368 They don't make 'em Like that anymore. 30 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,537 Yeah, you're right, stanley. 31 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,128 The civil war Changed everything. 32 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,793 The water's not even moving. 33 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,949 You must have dropped Something in here. 34 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,819 Wait a minute. Where's Your wedding ring? 35 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:27,646 Where it always is... Soaking in the rust remover. 36 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:33,095 I can fix this easy. 37 00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:35,565 You know, the first thing That a pro will tell you is, 38 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:39,491 "Check your clog, Check your clog." 39 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,440 No, there's nothing in there. 40 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,508 Now, the second thing... 41 00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:48,452 - what's the matter? - my finger's caught In the drain. 42 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:53,149 Chrissy, linda, stop Hogging the bathroom. 43 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,718 - it's my turn now. - chrissy: right away, jack. 44 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,955 Janet goes away for one day and The whole place falls apart. Linda... 45 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,724 I'm sorry, jack. I'm just Not used to your system. 46 00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:04,093 It takes time to put my face on. 47 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,596 Now that you've done that Could I get in there please? 48 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:09,365 This is not my face. It's still in here. 49 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:11,468 Wait a minute... 50 00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,970 Hey, I'm late. I gotta get In there. Come on, girls! 51 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,805 Chrissy: five more Minutes, jack. 52 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:19,342 I've taken off all my clothes. 53 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,712 I'm standing out here Totally in the nude. 54 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,514 in that case, Make it 10 minutes. 55 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:28,150 That's cute, chrissy. Come on. Open the door. I'm late. Please? 56 00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:29,953 It's about time. 57 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,921 Jack, you know, It was nice of you 58 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,923 To invite linda here For a couple of weeks. 59 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:37,126 - sure. Anytime. Excuse me. - while janet's away visiting Her family, 60 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,929 It really wouldn't be right if You and I were staying alone. 61 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,565 - boy, don't I know that... - it was so nice of linda 62 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:45,201 - to agree to come here And stay with us. - yeah, chrissy. 63 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,003 - excuse me... - while I think about it, 64 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,839 - she hasn't been Any problem at all. - I'm in a hurry. 65 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,608 Why are you telling me all this? 66 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,943 - to save The bathroom for linda. - hang on. Linda 67 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,612 Thank you, chrissy! 68 00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,047 Oh hey, linda! I have to shave. 69 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,282 You're gonna have to Share the bathroom today. 70 00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,918 okay, jack, come on in. 71 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:05,254 I'm really sorry about This jam up. It's all my fault. 72 00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:08,424 Oh it's not your fault. You're Just not bathroom-trained... 73 00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,815 For three people, I mean. 74 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,188 Hut one, hut two, ready down! 75 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,972 Why do you brush Your hair like that? 76 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,608 Because I like to have A lot of body in back. 77 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,999 Oh it works, linda, it Works. I'm telling you. 78 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,948 Jack, remember we Have an arrangement. 79 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,417 While I'm staying here, There is no fooling around. 80 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,053 - I was just looking. - yeah. 81 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:41,323 And if your eyes were Hands, you'd be under arrest. 82 00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:42,959 Thank you. - linda? 83 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,827 Have you seen my New eyeliner pencil? 84 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,491 - I think it's in The medicine chest. - oh, thanks. 85 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,903 Chrissy, I'm trying To shave. Do you mind? 86 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,526 Well, go ahead. 87 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,957 Come on, jack! 88 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,626 Look, this is part my Bathroom too, you know? 89 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,228 There just isn't room Enough in this mirror. 90 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,352 Sure there is. Hang on. 91 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,808 That's yours, that's Yours, and this is mine. 92 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,632 - okay? - okay. 93 00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,615 Linda: can you hand Me that towel? 94 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,282 - sure. - chrissy: here you go. 95 00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:42,240 thank you, chrissy. 96 00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:50,559 Jack: watch it! 97 00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:53,529 sorry I yelled, but you almost Knocked over my aftershave. 98 00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:56,365 - linda: I didn't see it. - you girls have to be More careful. 99 00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,300 This is my secret weapon. 100 00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,970 Here take a whiff. 101 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,806 Doesn't that make you Wanna tear off my clothes? 102 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,809 No, it makes me wish we Had separate bathrooms. 103 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,658 I'm getting low. I gotta Buy some more today. 104 00:06:10,682 --> 00:06:11,047 Uh-uh. 105 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:14,250 Come on, now. Nobody buys Anything until we pay the rent. 106 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,986 We're already 10 days Late and we're $50 short. 107 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,088 Oh yeah, what are we Gonna do about that $50? 108 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,590 Why don't you just ask your Landlord for an extension? 109 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,425 Jack: mr. Roper? Are you kidding? 110 00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,649 he's the cheapest man alive! 111 00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:29,431 I bet he's got every Dollar he's ever made 112 00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,968 sewn inside his mattress. 113 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,874 - maybe that's why he doesn't Get romantic at night. - why? 114 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,698 He's afraid he'll Wrinkle his money. 115 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,714 Chrissy: we need To figure out how 116 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,448 we're gonna get that other $50. 117 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,918 Jack: maybe we don't have To. I'll tell roper that 118 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,888 I need the $50 to buy Something very important. 119 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,691 - chrissy: buy what? - jack: I don't know... Like a blender. 120 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,727 - linda: a blender? - yeah, I'll tell him I need to practice recipes 121 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,395 For next month's cooking exam. 122 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,498 Come on, jack. Only an idiot Would believe a story like that. 123 00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:06,569 Yeah, look who We're talking about. 124 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,738 - hey, I'm late. I gotta run. - me too. 125 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,174 - oh linda, you said You'd pick up - yeah... 126 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,375 - a salad For dinner tonight. - linda: right. 127 00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:17,446 - chrissy, you promised You'd pick up my laundry. - yeah. Right. Wait a minute. 128 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:20,316 How come we're doing all the Work? What are you gonna pick up? 129 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,752 If I'm lucky, that little Blonde in my pastry class. 130 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,989 Jack, that is your girlfriend In the other room there. 131 00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,225 Not right now. As long As she's living with us, 132 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,960 She's off limits. 133 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,529 Oh, I guess that's okay. 134 00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:36,265 Boy, you lead a Complicated life, jack. 135 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,969 Hey, that's me in a nutshell. 136 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,704 Mr. Roper, what Brings you up here? 137 00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,140 Oh nothing special. Just the rent. 138 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:47,243 The rent? Of course, the rent. 139 00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,678 You know, those 300 little Reasons I let you live here. 140 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:53,216 Yeah, mr. Roper, I have A tiny favor to ask you. 141 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,652 You know something? I need $50 to Buy a blender for cooking school. 142 00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:59,288 Do you understand how Important a blender is to a chef? 143 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,724 Of course, I do. And You're very lucky. 144 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,860 - I am? - 'cause I have one With me right here. 145 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,995 - what? - and you could borrow it. 146 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,552 - I can? - yeah. 147 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,835 And now you could let Me have all the rent, right? 148 00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,570 I can, I can, I can... 149 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,473 Sure, but I can't. I mean... We... We... 150 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,765 We have the rent money. It's just that we don't have it. 151 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,914 - where is it? - well, you see... Cause we... 152 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,671 It's... It's in jack's Locker at school. 153 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,088 You keep your money In jack's locker? 154 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:36,214 - why?! - I don't remember, But... Jack does though. 155 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,329 Well... See... 156 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,032 If we're robbed and The money isn't here, 157 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,201 Then it won't be stolen. 158 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,158 That's good, jack! 159 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,808 Look, the rent is 10 days overdue. 160 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,977 Now I want it today. If I don't get It today, I've got somebody waiting 161 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,080 Who will pay more For this apartment. 162 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,448 You mean you would throw Us out into the street? 163 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,017 No, I'd move you to 305. 164 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:04,821 - 305, that's so tiny. - and dark. 165 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,323 Yeah, with a view Of a brick wall. 166 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:11,894 Well, beggars Can't be "Viewsters." 167 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,752 "Viewsters"? 168 00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:19,001 When you get the Rent, I'm not saying if, 169 00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,470 I'm saying when you get it, You know where to find me. 170 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,934 I'll be downstairs Counting my mattress. 171 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,881 What is this? 172 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,518 - hi, jack. - oh hi, linda. 173 00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,588 Hey, great! You got Some money for your rent. 174 00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:41,624 Yeah, $2.33. 175 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,659 Oh... Where'd you get it? 176 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,795 I returned our empty bottles. 177 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,564 I didn't see any empty bottles. 178 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,155 I emptied them. 179 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,937 Well, hey, I'm desperate. What can I say, linda? 180 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,339 Jack, I really feel Bad about this. 181 00:09:57,363 --> 00:10:01,177 You know you're always Welcome to anything I've got. 182 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,201 Maybe later, linda. Right now I need money. 183 00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,983 That's what I was talking about. 184 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,185 - I wish I had some To lend you. - oh... 185 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:12,288 Jack, linda, this is terrible! 186 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:15,158 Oh, chrissy, don't worry. 187 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,359 Yeah, chrissy, we'll Get the rent somehow. 188 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:20,396 I'm not talking about the Rent. I've got a wart, look! 189 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,666 Oh is that all? 190 00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:26,936 What do you mean "Is that All"? I'll never get rid of it. 191 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,195 Sure you will, chrissy, just as Soon as you stop dating frogs. 192 00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:33,131 - jack. - ribbit ribbit. 193 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,846 How can you be so insensitive? 194 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,714 Don't you know This could spread? 195 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:41,450 - I could get them All over my body! - ew... 196 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,220 Hey, chrissy, I'm only kidding. It's just one lousy wart. 197 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,322 Look at me, I'm all lumpy. 198 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,524 This is gonna Ruin my social life. 199 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:51,360 Oh no, it won't, chrissy. It's nothing to be ashamed of. 200 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,229 I've seen this happen To other girls. 201 00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,097 I never thought it Would happen to me. 202 00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:58,534 - jack: it hardly shows. - chrissy: not yet, But you know 203 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:01,726 what torture it's going to be watching This thing get bigger and bigger? 204 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:07,165 - this is awful! - chrissy's going To have a baby! 205 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:11,013 Linda: what are you Gonna do about it? 206 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,149 what do you think? I'm gonna get rid of it. 207 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,651 - how? - I'll go to the doctor. 208 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,887 No, chrissy, you don't Need to go to a doctor. 209 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,351 We can get rid of it right here. 210 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:25,049 - how? - all I need is toe-nail Clippers and a band-aid. 211 00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:31,033 Linda: jack... 212 00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:34,937 chrissy, I heard it will go Away if you rub it with a potato. 213 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:38,307 A potato?! Ow! 214 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,265 Helen! 215 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,680 - helen? - helen: what? 216 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,716 - come in The bedroom, quick! - oh stanley, now?! 217 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,673 Oh my god, helen! 218 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,458 Will you stop that? 219 00:11:56,482 --> 00:12:00,696 What's the matter with you? I want to Talk to you about somebody having a baby. 220 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:05,601 It's a little late for that but We could go through the motions! 221 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,270 Will you listen to me? 222 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,560 Chrissy is pregnant. 223 00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:13,575 - our chrissy? - yeah. 224 00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:15,433 And she wants to get rid of it. 225 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,248 How do you know that? 226 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:22,907 I... I heard it when I went Upstairs to collect the rent. 227 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,657 Chrissy is pregnant?! 228 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,459 Don't act so surprised. 229 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,628 Kids today have a Warped sense of values. 230 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,320 They think that sex is fun. 231 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:49,278 Oh, poor little chrissy. 232 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:53,537 - I wonder Who the father is. - some guy. 233 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,987 Very good, stanley. 234 00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,178 You know more than I thought. 235 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:06,763 Oh I feel so sorry For poor little chrissy. 236 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,798 Will you stop Worrying about chrissy? 237 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:12,135 I wanna show you something That'll cheer you up. 238 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,937 You do? 239 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,395 Yeah, come here. 240 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:24,335 - I fixed the sink. - oh. 241 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,817 Well, you don't Sound very excited. 242 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:30,686 You fixed a sink, stanley. 243 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,422 You didn't discover uranium. 244 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,424 You know what I had to do? 245 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,359 I had to clean out This whole pipe. 246 00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,595 - and you know what Was blocking it up? - what? 247 00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:42,765 Your hair! I pulled clumps Of your hair out of this. 248 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,467 How do you know it was my hair?! 249 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,971 If it wasn't, somebody Shaved a collie in here. 250 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,941 What are you doing now? 251 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,442 I'm gonna put this pipe back 252 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:56,600 And then you'll see How a sink really works. 253 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,405 Well, it won't work With the plug in it. 254 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,456 - oh I'm sorry! - look what you did! I'm soaked! 255 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,794 Well, I wasn't thinking. I've got my mind on chrissy. 256 00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:14,430 Are you sure she wants To get rid of the baby? 257 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,865 Will you butt out of the Tenants' affairs, please? 258 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:20,536 I can't! I'm gonna go Upstairs and talk to her... 259 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,704 It's too late. You Know what they say? 260 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:26,288 There's no sense locking the Barn door after you've made hay. 261 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,648 Chrissy, the best thing to do: 262 00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,917 Go to the doctor tomorrow. He'll take care of it. 263 00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,585 I guess you're right. 264 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,021 Yeah, and when you get Back home, go right up to 305. 265 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,756 Chrissy: why? 266 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:43,259 Because roper will have Thrown us out of here by then. 267 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,449 - yeah... - maybe even sooner. 268 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:51,967 - oh hi, mrs. Roper. - oh poor little chrissy. 269 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:57,261 Oh... Oh she's just A baby herself. 270 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:02,678 Chrissy, we have So much to discuss. 271 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:06,715 You know, about Your little visitor? 272 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,217 Your little visitor? 273 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:12,488 Chrissy, did you invite someone To dinner without telling me? 274 00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,556 - no. - look jack, 275 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,559 Would you and linda mind going In the other room for a minute? 276 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,695 - I want to talk To chrissy alone. - jack: oh sure. 277 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,053 - linda? - okay. 278 00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:28,570 Chrissy, chrissy, I know About your problem. 279 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,839 - you do? - mm-hmm. 280 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:33,842 I want you to know that you can 281 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,112 Count on me in Your hour of need. 282 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:40,182 Oh that's really sweet Of you, mrs. Roper! 283 00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:43,819 I don't want to Get personal, dear, 284 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:48,090 But would you like to Tell me how this happened? 285 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:51,015 I don't have the slightest idea. 286 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,065 You don't? 287 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:59,790 Well, maybe it's from Eating too much italian good. 288 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:06,108 Oh chrissy, I think it's time For us to have a little talk. 289 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,532 Well, jack thinks it's a virus. 290 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,036 I better have a Talk with him too. 291 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,352 I don't care. All I want to Do is get this thing over with, 292 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,587 And I hope it never Happens again. 293 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,889 Well, that's up to you, dear. 294 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:24,193 Now you might begin by Being a little bit careful 295 00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,562 About the boys you go out with. 296 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:29,887 You think one of my boyfriends Had something to do with this? 297 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,070 Oh my lord. 298 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:37,806 It's a miracle this never Happened to you before. 299 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,409 What's the difference? All I want to do is get rid of it. 300 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:44,302 Chrissy... I want You to keep it. 301 00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,874 Why? It'll just get bigger. 302 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,323 Of course it will! 303 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:58,716 My aunt had one That weight 9 1/2 lbs.! 304 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,933 Really?! 305 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:08,959 And my sister had one That weighed over 10 lbs. 306 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,607 No... 307 00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:14,071 Hers is at harvard Medical school now. 308 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,034 I'll bet it is. 309 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,849 Chrissy, dear, Just wait one year. 310 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,742 If you still feel the same way, You could always give it away. 311 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,325 Who'd want a thing like that? 312 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:34,163 Lots of people! Chrissy, there's a Long list of people waiting to adopt. 313 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:38,734 - adopt? Somebody wants To adopt my wart? - yes, of course! 314 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:42,270 Why, people are just standing In line waiting to adopt your... 315 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:45,262 Wart? 316 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,211 Did you say wart? 317 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,734 Yeah, see? 318 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:01,223 You mean that... That's your problem? 319 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,359 Yeah, what did you think it was? 320 00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,775 I thought you were pregnant! 321 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:16,394 Pregnant? Until I get rid of This thing I can't even get a date. 322 00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:21,977 Hey, jack, linda, you Can come out now. 323 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:26,203 You gotta... 324 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,740 Stanl... 325 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,612 There... 326 00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,426 What's so funny? 327 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:42,185 Stanley told me Chrissy was pregnant! 328 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,501 - pregnant?! - yeah. 329 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,135 - little chrissy? - yeah. 330 00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,905 - jack: our innocent Little chrissy? - helen: yeah. 331 00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,164 Who's the guy? I'll kill him. 332 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:58,814 Jack, it was a mistake. They Thought my wart was a baby. 333 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,649 What?! 334 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,719 What made mr. Roper think That chrissy was pregnant? 335 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:07,322 Well, he said that He heard it up here. 336 00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:09,257 - from us? - yeah, yeah. 337 00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:12,193 He just told me. He Came out of the bathroom 338 00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:15,397 Where we was fixing the drain And he said, "Chrissy's pregnant." 339 00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:18,667 - fixing the drain? - yeah, jack, it was so funny! 340 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,237 You know, I emptied the Water all over his face. 341 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:26,107 See, I didn't realize he had taken Out that big pipe underneath the sink. 342 00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:28,109 - so I went over... - wait a second, 343 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:30,979 That big pipe connects to the One directly in our bathroom. 344 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,681 You know what that means? 345 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:37,253 You mean mr. Roper has been Listening to us through the pipe? 346 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,989 Eavesdropping? Nah... 347 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:44,014 Even stanley wouldn't Do a rotten think like that. 348 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,629 - would he? - jack: wait a minute. 349 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:51,500 That explains how he knew about Our blender excuse this morning. 350 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:55,871 Oh and how he hides His money in his mattress. 351 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,729 Is that where he keeps it? 352 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,279 - eavesdropping? Of all the rotten... - wait a minute, jack. 353 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,981 - there's no respect of privacy. - we could be being unfair. 354 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,051 We don't know for sure That he was eavesdropping. 355 00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,719 Well, there's one Way of finding out. 356 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,421 Chrissy, get into the bathroom. 357 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,223 I don't have to go To the bathroom. 358 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:17,607 Neither do I. Just get in There and talk to the sink. 359 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,896 What do I say to a sink? 360 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,599 No, just talk into the sink. 361 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:26,535 Whatever I say, you answer "That's wonderful," okay? 362 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,304 Just trust me. 363 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,648 Mrs. Roper: come on, come on. 364 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,397 - shh! - hi, chrissy! 365 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:38,681 Chrissy, I'm so glad You had that long talk 366 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,716 With mrs. Roper about your baby. 367 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,540 Isn't that nice? 368 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,509 Well, isn't it? 369 00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:50,058 - that's wonderful! - oh yes. 370 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,650 She's such a good Friend, isn't it great? 371 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,831 That's wonderful! 372 00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:59,034 She's so understanding... Ow! That hurts! 373 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:02,137 - that's wonderful! - chrissy. 374 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,740 I'm sure everything Will be okay now 375 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,709 That mrs. Roper has offered 376 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:09,911 To pay for all of The baby expenses... 377 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:13,549 The hospital, the doctor, The private nurses, 378 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:16,218 And much, much more! 379 00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:20,055 She said she'd be willing to Spend every penny they've got. 380 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,224 Both: that's wonderful! 381 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,062 Oh jack, that was great! 382 00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,898 You guys really have a Lot of fun in this building. 383 00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:32,234 I wonder if mr. Roper Was listening. 384 00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:36,494 Nah... You know, stanley Does have some class. 385 00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,623 Are you out of your mind?! 386 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,200 But not much. 387 00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:47,549 Hey, doctors and hospitals Cost a fortune these days. 388 00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:50,351 Listen, if you need my advice, I'll be glad to give it to you. 389 00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,888 Why, mr. Roper, what on Earth are you talking about? 390 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:56,592 - chrissy's baby. - where did you hear About that? 391 00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,794 Through the pipe. I know A wonderful doctor... 392 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,597 What pipe is that, mr. Roper? 393 00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:03,632 The pipe in the Bathroom. Anyway... 394 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,437 So you were eavesdropping! How could you?! 395 00:22:06,461 --> 00:22:07,035 Well... 396 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:10,306 - that's illegal, mr. Roper. - mr. Roper: it is? 397 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:14,209 Yeah, isn't that Like wire-tapping? 398 00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:17,846 It's worse! It's pipe-tapping! 399 00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:21,049 - I didn't mean anything... - this is serious business, mr. Roper. 400 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:23,151 - you violated The constitution. - I did? 401 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,695 Yes, there is nothing more Sacred than a man's plumbing. 402 00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:32,127 - you violated Their civil rights! - and the baby's civil rights. 403 00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:35,296 You're in big trouble, stanley, if They decide to take you to court. 404 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,066 - big trouble. - now you better tell them You're sorry. 405 00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:42,004 Okay. Listen, I'm Really very sorry. 406 00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:44,472 And you'll never do it again. 407 00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:46,675 And I'll never do it again. 408 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:51,268 And you'll take $50 Off this month's rent. 409 00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:55,906 And I'll never do it again. 410 00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:59,588 Okay, all right. Forget the 50 bucks. 411 00:22:59,612 --> 00:23:01,690 - oh that's great! - okay, let's go home now. 412 00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,159 You've done enough Damage for one day. Come on. 413 00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:05,827 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 414 00:23:05,851 --> 00:23:09,064 - what about the baby? - there is no baby! 415 00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:11,633 You got the whole Story all mixed up. 416 00:23:11,657 --> 00:23:15,170 - now come on, stanley. - wait a minute, Wait a minute. 417 00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:18,073 If there's no baby, what was Chrissy trying to get rid of? 418 00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:20,397 A wart. 419 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,301 A wart? 420 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:29,106 Yeah, a wart, but we've decided To keep it and name it after you. 421 00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,565 Once I get this Pipe back in here, 422 00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:46,101 You'll get all Your privacy back. 423 00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:48,570 - are you sure, mr. Roper? - definitely. 424 00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,906 - chrissy? - yes, mr. Roper? 425 00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:54,342 When I knock three times, Start singing something. 426 00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:56,912 - what shall I sing? - it doesn't matter What you sing. 427 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,036 We're not gonna hear it anyway. 428 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,218 You'll see. This is gonna be Completely soundproof now. 429 00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:05,375 I certainly hope so. 430 00:24:06,478 --> 00:24:10,180 Okay... Now... Just listen. 431 00:24:18,724 --> 00:24:21,770 Chrissy: ♪ raindrops Keep falling on my head ♪ 432 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:24,940 ♪ that doesn't mean that my eyes 433 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,064 ♪ will soon be turning red... ♪ 434 00:24:50,756 --> 00:24:53,168 Ritter's voice: three's Company was videotaped 435 00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:55,125 in front of a studio audience. 34586

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