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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,523 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,625 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,627 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,296 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,931 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,201 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,203 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,205 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:31,041 - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:34,144 ♪ we've a lovable space That needs your face ♪ 11 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:37,047 ♪ three's company too ♪ 12 00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,916 ♪ you'll see that Life is a ball again ♪ 13 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:43,353 ♪ laughter is calling for you ♪ 14 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,456 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,148 ♪ three's company too ♪ 16 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,481 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 17 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,204 ♪ three's company too. ♪ 18 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:21,825 Okay, chrissy, we have everything That we need. Now what do we do next? 19 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:25,495 Place tom turkey in a Shallow roasting pan. 20 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,164 Right. Here. 21 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,922 - okay. - here you go, tom. 22 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:34,270 There, you old guy. 23 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,573 - hi, what are You girls doing? - hi, jack. 24 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,575 We decided that it Was just about time 25 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,577 We cooked dinner For you for a change. 26 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,312 That should be interesting. What are you making? 27 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,882 - roast turkey. - I'm just rubbing The lemon on it. 28 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,485 Chrissy. Chrissy, excuse me. 29 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:51,109 You have to cut the lemon first. 30 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:54,156 This is called "A Knife," you see? 31 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,125 And you put it on top And you push down... 32 00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,094 That is called "Cutting the lemon." 33 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,663 Then you always rub The lemon on the turkey 34 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,665 In the direction The feathers grow. 35 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,435 Never rub against the grain. Always do it this way. Got it? 36 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,236 - let me see. - go ahead. 37 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,238 - thank you. Like this? - yeah. 38 00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:12,241 Hey, all right. Chrissy, wanna Sprinkle on the garlic powder? 39 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:15,111 You don't use garlic powder! 40 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,113 Let me see. This is sage, right. 41 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,115 You put the sage on first 42 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,651 And you have to work It in ever so gently. 43 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,653 Like that, you see? 44 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,956 And then you put the butter On to make the skin real crisp... 45 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,581 Never... Never bruise the skin. 46 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:35,732 Listen, I really want To thank both of you 47 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,734 For cooking dinner For me like this. 48 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,203 Oh, jack, it was No trouble at all. 49 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,339 Thanks. Don't get up. 50 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,445 - oh, hi. Come on in. - hi, chrissy, hi. 51 00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,748 Janet, listen, stanley And I were wondering 52 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,783 If you could do us a favor. 53 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:56,853 - sure, what is it? - this friend of mine Just got married, 54 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,855 And she left her Little girl with us 55 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,857 While she went on her honeymoon. 56 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:04,794 - uh-huh? - oh, this is Her second marriage. 57 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:08,665 - anyway, this little girl... - all she does is mope around the house. 58 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,700 And she... She is just so upset 59 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,736 About her mother Getting remarried. 60 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:17,106 She's the sweetest Little girl, but so sad. 61 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,843 We've done everything to Try to cheer her up, but... 62 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,800 I even played my bugle. 63 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,916 So, anyway, I thought that You girls, being younger, 64 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,018 Would... Have better luck. 65 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,354 - well, we're happy To help, mrs. Roper. - sure. 66 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,456 Oh, good, good. Poor little thing, 67 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,593 She's just sitting out there On the steps, so depressed. 68 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,961 Yeah, no enthusiasm, No energy, no interest... 69 00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:41,330 I've never seen Anything like it. 70 00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:44,954 Do you ever see yourself Walk into the bedroom? 71 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:50,940 Laurie. Laurie, Come on in, honey. 72 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,309 I want you to meet Some friends of mine. 73 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,745 - this is chrissy. - hi, laurie. 74 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,647 - hi. - and this is janet. 75 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,749 - how do you do? - hi. 76 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,819 Now, why don't you just Stay and visit for a while 77 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,889 And then this afternoon 78 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,892 Uncle stanley can Take you to the zoo. 79 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,761 Thank you, but I don't Wanna go to the zoo. 80 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,185 I don't wanna go To the zoo either. 81 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:18,568 Well, how about a pony ride? 82 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,712 Ooh, now you're talking! 83 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:27,209 Look, I'll go fix you lunch, While you girls get acquainted, 84 00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:31,803 - okay? Come on, stanley. - whoo, a pony ride, wow. 85 00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:36,820 - would you like To sit down, laurie? - thank you. 86 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:40,256 Sure. That's a Pretty good couch. 87 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,326 So you're laurie? 88 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:44,894 Mm-hmm. 89 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,797 Oh, what a dumb Thing for me to say, 90 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,533 "So you're laurie?" I mean, Who else would you be, right? 91 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:58,207 Hey, I have the latest Peter frampton album. 92 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,110 - do you want to hear it? - not especially. 93 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,412 - oh. - janet: oh. 94 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,414 Well... Whoo, whoo, 95 00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:08,873 Jack, you have got to meet jack. 96 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,188 - jack. - ha! 97 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,913 Careful, I almost Scorched my giblets. 98 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,730 - what's wrong with you? - well... I'm very sorry. 99 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:24,200 I'm very sorry, but we have kind Of an emergency in the other room. 100 00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,703 There's this little Girl, her name is laurie... 101 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,905 Well, her mommy Just got remarried... 102 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,608 - how old are you, laurie? - I'm 13. 103 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:35,199 Really? When I was Your age, I was 13 too. 104 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,856 - is that laurie? - oh, yes, jack. This is laurie. 105 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,993 Hello, laurie, I'm very Happy to meet you. 106 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,861 Why are you crying? 107 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,230 I was just slicing some Onions in the kitchen... 108 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,264 Excuse me. 109 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:02,493 I fooled you. It's Only a sponge. 110 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,875 You're funny. 111 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,310 - thank you. - thanks, jack. 112 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:11,213 - do you do the cooking here? - yeah, but not only The cooking, 113 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:13,215 I'm also the nurse Of the household. 114 00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:15,785 Hello, little girl, how are you? 115 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,254 Let's check your temperature. 116 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:21,518 Oh, you're suffering from A loose mickey mouse watch. 117 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,594 And sometimes I even dance. 118 00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:30,221 ♪ knee-knee knee-knee knee-knee Knee-knee ♪ knee... Get it? Knee. 119 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:35,504 But, best of all... At midnight, I climb out of my coffin... 120 00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:38,574 And I turn into a vampire. 121 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,578 Oh, look, a blond neck! 122 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,881 - what a lovely neck You have, my darling. - jack... 123 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,449 Come on, jack. 124 00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:50,386 Ha-ha! Boy, I'm glad to see 125 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,589 You all are getting Along so well, 126 00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:56,025 Especially jack and chrissy. 127 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:59,650 Oh, mrs. Roper, I was just showing Laurie what I do around here. 128 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,991 Stanley only fixes toilets. 129 00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:11,841 I got your lunch Ready. Come on, honey. 130 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:15,011 - can't I stay a little longer? - you can come back This afternoon. 131 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,313 - oh, great! - bye, laurie. 132 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:20,937 Hey, laurie, it was really Nice meeting you. We... 133 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,987 I really liked Meeting you, jack. 134 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,210 It was a pleasure To meet you, milady. 135 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,347 - jack: bye-bye. - laurie: bye. 136 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,864 Wow! That little Girl looked at you 137 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,066 Like you were robert redford. 138 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,758 Oh, well, a lot of people Notice the resemblance. 139 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,229 Hey... 140 00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,869 - whoo, whoo, whoo. - no! 141 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:55,084 It's so nice and cozy. It's just the three of us 142 00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,286 Spending a quiet Evening together. 143 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,521 Yeah, waiting for a Delicious turkey dinner. 144 00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:01,758 Oh, I'll get it. 145 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,760 I'm watching you. 146 00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:07,318 Hello. Oh, yeah. Can you Hold on while I get a pencil? 147 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,900 Okay, go ahead. 148 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,435 Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. 149 00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:17,228 - are you gonna jump her? - maybe, but first let's Finish the chess game. 150 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,517 Okay. Wow, list... Thank you very much. 151 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,186 Bye. 152 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,389 Chrissy, chrissy, Listen to this telegram. 153 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,992 "Janet and chrissy, you Are invited to a barbecue 154 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,761 At the marina yacht club At 8:00 o'clock sharp tonight. 155 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:41,664 Hope you can make it. Signed, you know who." 156 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:45,367 The marina yacht club?! I've Always wanted to go there! 157 00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:47,236 Well, who's "You know who"? 158 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,706 I don't know who. Don't you know who? 159 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,363 No, I don't know "You know Who," I know "Guess who." 160 00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:56,513 It's janet and costello. 161 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,681 - yippy, I know who "You know who" is. - janet: who? 162 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,750 - it's dr. Bickman, Our dentist. - what?! 163 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,552 You know, it's Time for a cleaning. 164 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:07,056 He always calls and Says, "This is you know who. 165 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,814 Come on in and Get rid of the goo." 166 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:16,699 Yeah, that's right. And he Does belong to the yacht club. 167 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,735 Yes! 8:00 o'clock, We can just make it. 168 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,503 Oh, chrissy. I can't believe It... The marina yacht club? 169 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,539 Hey, listen, you think We are dressed okay? 170 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,608 It's only a barbecue. Come on. 171 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,744 - you mean you're going? - oh, are you kidding? 172 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,446 Do you think we're gonna Turn down an invitation like this? 173 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:34,773 - what about the turkey? - sorry, but they only Invited us. 174 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,990 Janet: bye, laurie. 175 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,225 - hi, jack. - hi. 176 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,394 - am I interrupting dinner? - no, in fact you're gonna Help me eat it. 177 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,978 - oh, that will Be wonderful. - come on. 178 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,530 Boy, that is a vintage cow. 179 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:05,081 Jack, you're the best Cook in the whole world. 180 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,149 Oh, you don't have to say that. 181 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:10,586 - but it's true. - I know, but you don't Have to say it. 182 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,244 Excuse me. 183 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,996 Hi, jack. Remember me? 184 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,964 Rita! Of course. 185 00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,989 I never forget a Bod... A face. Come on in. 186 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:30,472 - I've come to take you up On your offer. - my offer?! 187 00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,541 Yeah, don't you remember? 188 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:35,444 At larry's party. You said, 189 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,280 "Rita, any night You feel restless 190 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,516 And lonely, you come on over." 191 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,919 Oh, yeah. 192 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:45,121 Hi. I'm laurie. 193 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,123 Oh, yes, I... Laurie's Living downstairs. 194 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,125 We've just had dinner together. 195 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,194 Oh, how sweet. 196 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,162 Well, now that She's had her din-din, 197 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,998 Don't you think she Should be running along? 198 00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:58,500 Oh, yes. Laurie, it's time 199 00:10:58,524 --> 00:11:00,458 For the grown-ups To have dessert. 200 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,108 I enjoyed this evening, jack. 201 00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,632 Yes, it's going to be wonderful. 202 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:14,884 Rita, would you like to make Yourself comfortable on the couch? 203 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,342 I thought you'd never ask. 204 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:21,145 Well... 205 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:25,950 - do you mind? I'm a righty. - oh. 206 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:34,658 You know, jack... 207 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,674 I'm from the school That says that 208 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,799 If you really Attracted to somebody 209 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,949 Well, you should kind of like 210 00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:49,740 Give yourself to him totally. 211 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,843 That's a good school. 212 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,993 Go away. 213 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,929 go away! 214 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,987 You better answer it. 215 00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:10,706 I wanted to know if you would like To go for an ice-cream soda later. 216 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,142 That's very nice of you, Laurie, but not tonight. 217 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,301 Rita and I have a lot Of homework to do. 218 00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:21,217 - now where was I? - on the right track, jack. 219 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,408 Oh, yeah? 220 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,115 - what?! - I forgot my keys. 221 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,411 I... Hope I didn't disturb you. 222 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,181 - this is getting ridiculous. - no, no, rita. 223 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:56,006 I'll lock the door. It's locked, okay? 224 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,898 Lovely rita. 225 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,636 I took your key by mistake. 226 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:18,040 - that does it. - wait. Rita, hang on. 227 00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:21,310 - rita, where are you going? - somewhere where there's Less traffic, 228 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:24,368 - like on The hollywood freeway. - rita... 229 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:30,319 Gee, she left so suddenly. 230 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,611 - do you think she was Anxious to go to bed? - I'm positive. 231 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:38,894 This surely isn't my night. I mean, Everybody is running out on me! 232 00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:40,829 I'd never run out on you, jack. 233 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:44,266 I know. You just Keep running in on me. 234 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,503 How do you like that, all the way To the marina yacht club to find out 235 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,072 - they weren't even Having a barbecue! - they weren't? 236 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:52,608 - chrissy and janet: no! - janet: we called Dr. Bickman, 237 00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,877 He said he didn't know Anything about a telegram. 238 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,745 The whole thing was a fake! 239 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:59,370 Well, that's terrible! I wonder who said it. 240 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:13,862 What a rotten trick, all the way to The marina yacht club for nothing. 241 00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:16,132 Oh, yeah. Boy, chrissy, 242 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:18,935 We should have stayed at Home like we planned with jack. 243 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,070 Yeah, we never Should've left you, jack. 244 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,705 No, not after you worked So hard on that turkey. 245 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:26,442 Oh, well, I must admit... 246 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:29,245 I did get quite depressed. 247 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,747 In fact, I've developed A splitting headache. 248 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,749 - chrissy: oh. - janet: oh, poor baby. 249 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,751 Yeah. Janet, would You do me a favor? 250 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,986 Could you rub my temples? It would feel so soothing. 251 00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:40,088 Oh, my pleasure. 252 00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:44,092 - and chrissy, would you mind Massaging my toes? - oh, sure. 253 00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:46,094 I've been standing in Front of a hot stove... 254 00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:48,598 That feels so good! 255 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,669 Jack, can you ever forgive Us for leaving you alone? 256 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,639 Oh, jack wasn't alone. We had dinner together. 257 00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,974 - chrissy: oh. - oh, that's nice. 258 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:00,976 It was delicious. 259 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,513 We had turkey and Stuffing, mashed potatoes... 260 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,470 - and rita. - chrissy: rita? 261 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,707 Rita? Is that a dish? 262 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,624 - she sure is. - janet: she...? 263 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,859 - jack: no... - janet: jack! 264 00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:21,997 My knee! 265 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:24,266 All right, jack. Come on, who is rita? 266 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:28,036 Well, it's... Rita marie but I barely Had any time to speak to her. 267 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,472 - isn't that right, laurie? - that's right. 268 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,108 It's hard to talk When you're kissing. 269 00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:35,944 Oh. Chrissy, if you had A date and you wanted 270 00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:37,813 To get rid of your roommates 271 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,277 In a big hurry, What would you do? 272 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,674 Yell, "Fire!" 273 00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:49,792 No, chrissy. You Would send a telegram. 274 00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:53,136 But what if the place burned Down before it was delivered? 275 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,467 Chrissy! 276 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,651 Jack is the one who Sent us that telegram! 277 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,007 You mean, he is "You know who"? 278 00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:08,410 Yes. And he's also A "You know what"! 279 00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:11,580 Wait a minute, why would I do a thing like that? 280 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:15,183 Because you wanted to be Alone with your precious rita. 281 00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:17,085 Why would I wanna Be alone with rita? 282 00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:20,109 - because she was Restless and lonely. - don't help me, laurie. 283 00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:24,626 Well, jack, if you are So anxious to be alone, 284 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,662 Chrissy and I will Gladly leave you alone. 285 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,431 - let's go down and eat At the regal beagle. - wait a minute, 286 00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:31,567 But... But there's Plenty of turkey left. 287 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:35,191 Jack, we wouldn't touch Your turkey with a 10-foot fork. 288 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,376 Can you imagine that, 289 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,179 Them accusing me of a Childish trick like that? 290 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:46,015 - you're better Off without them. - you're darn right I am! 291 00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:48,672 I know. That's why I Sent the telegram. 292 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,656 You?! You sent The telegram? Why? 293 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,859 I wanted to be alone with you. 294 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,828 - okay, laurie, You're coming with me. - where're you taking me? 295 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,831 You're gonna tell janet and Chrissy that you sent that telegram. 296 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,601 No. No, I'll never tell. 297 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:08,637 Yes, you will. Or else there's Gonna be some big trouble. 298 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,772 Why are you getting so mad? 299 00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,164 I only did it 'cause I love you. 300 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:23,452 Laurie, I think you and I Better have a little talk. 301 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,409 Sit down. 302 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,455 You know, laurie... Move over. 303 00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:34,184 The other way. 304 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,834 Now, come on, Laurie, listen to me. 305 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,869 You know... 306 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,206 In life, there are... All Different kinds of love. 307 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,209 You love your mommy, you love Your friends, you love your dog... 308 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,245 I don't have a Dog. I have a cat. 309 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:52,781 - okay, you love your cat... - I hate my cat. 310 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,783 Laurie, laurie... How old are you? 311 00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:57,586 - 13. - I'm almost Twice your age. 312 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,410 Don't worry. I'll catch up. 313 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,558 - what? - well, 314 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,461 When I'm 26, you'll only be 39. 315 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,096 And that's only as half as old. 316 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,698 No, laurie. What I'm trying to say... 317 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:12,968 And when you're 80, I'll only be 67 318 00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:14,970 So I'll be able to Take care of you. 319 00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,973 Oh, that's very nice... No, But... But that's not the point. 320 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,975 Laurie, what I'm Trying to say is, 321 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:24,280 Right now you're too young To know what real love is. 322 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,715 What is real love? 323 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:31,520 Real love is... Well, when you Care about a person so much 324 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:35,224 You'd rather be with them Than anybody in the whole world. 325 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,248 Then I love you. 326 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,762 Oh, that's so sweet... Laurie. 327 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,920 And... And I thank you, but... 328 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:46,102 See, the problem... The thing is... 329 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:50,038 Is... Is... That I Don't love you. 330 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,941 - that'll come in time. - no, it won't. 331 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,545 Laurie, I'm older than you, So you have to listen to me! 332 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,814 Now, come on. Look, look... This is not gonna last. 333 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,449 It's no good between us, laurie. 334 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,952 You will forget all about me. 335 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,722 - I'll never forget you. - yes, you will. 336 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,290 I'll never forget you, Not as long as I live. 337 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,292 Young lady, you're Coming with me 338 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,996 And you're telling janet and Chrissy exactly what you did 339 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,697 Or you may not live that long. 340 00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:18,355 - I just love a man Who's forceful. - move. 341 00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:29,077 - oh, thank you. - oh, thank you. 342 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,079 Chrissy, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. 343 00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:33,470 I'm so hungry I Could eat its saddle. 344 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,921 I think we are. 345 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,523 - gee whiz, - what A day this has been! 346 00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:43,926 Janet, chrissy, I've got Something to say to you. 347 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:47,529 Well, we have nothing to say To you, mr. Big telegram sender. 348 00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,798 All right. Come on, move Over. Janet, move over. 349 00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,733 Sit down, laurie. Move over. 350 00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,969 Chrissy, move over. 351 00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,971 Now... 352 00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,874 You have shunned me. You Have defamed my character. 353 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:01,743 You have accused me, but now You're going to eat those words, 354 00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:05,836 Because little laurie here has something To say about who really sent that telegram. 355 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,653 Go ahead, laurie. Tell them who sent it. 356 00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:14,590 Gosh, jack, if You didn't send it, 357 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:17,593 I don't know who did. 358 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:21,630 - laurie, you sent that Telegram! Go tell them. - janet: jack! 359 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:25,033 - it was her. - that's awful! Trying To blame an innocent girl! 360 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,703 Jack, I didn't even think that You could stoop that low. 361 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,038 - let's go, chrissy. - now wait a second... 362 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,230 - jack, forget it. - chrissy, chrissy, You believe me, don't you? 363 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,314 You promised me that You were gonna tell them. 364 00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:41,939 A woman has a right To change her mind. 365 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,913 Make a wish. 366 00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:57,487 Good morning. 367 00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:02,826 Janet, can I have part Of that paper, please? 368 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,008 May I inform you, ms. Wood, 369 00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:08,398 That I pay for one Third of that newspaper? 370 00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:19,587 That's very funny. Don't you Think this is getting ridiculous? 371 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:23,158 Jack, we are not Talking to you today. 372 00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:26,294 Girl... This is getting Out of hand now. 373 00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:27,963 - come on now. - did you hear me, jack? 374 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,453 We are not talking to You today. Right, chrissy? 375 00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:34,936 Chrissy? It's Okay to talk to me. 376 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,438 Oh. Right. 377 00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:47,315 Oh, hi. Jack, could we See you for a minute? 378 00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:49,350 Sure, come in. 379 00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:53,288 Stanley and I have had a Nice, long talk with laurie 380 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,256 And she has something 381 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,647 That she wants to say to you. 382 00:21:59,518 --> 00:22:01,918 Come on, kid, spill it. 383 00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:09,004 I was the one who Sent that telegram. 384 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:10,739 See? What did I tell you? 385 00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:13,408 You did? 386 00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:16,845 - but why? - I just wanted to be Alone with jack. 387 00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:19,548 Yeah, but sending a telegram 388 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,650 Was a rotten thing to do. 389 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:25,274 I'll say... She charged It to my phone. 390 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,224 It's hard to believe. 391 00:22:29,248 --> 00:22:32,494 I'll say... $7.50. 392 00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,563 That wasn't very nice. 393 00:22:34,587 --> 00:22:37,421 - I'll say... She... - you've said enough. 394 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:41,269 - I'm sorry. - janet: oh, well... 395 00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:45,540 Don't you think you're all Being a little rough on laurie? 396 00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:48,143 So she's young And impressionable 397 00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:50,846 And she happened to fall In love with the kid here. 398 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:53,548 I mean, who can blame her? 399 00:22:53,572 --> 00:22:56,317 While we're talking about Love, I have something to tell you. 400 00:22:56,341 --> 00:22:59,387 - uh-huh. - I like you very much, 401 00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:02,379 But I need someone Who's a little more mature. 402 00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:10,766 - oh, really? - oh, it's okay. I already found someone. 403 00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,901 - you did? - yeah. Albert. 404 00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:15,270 - chrissy: albert? - hey albert, 405 00:23:15,294 --> 00:23:18,507 You can come up now. 406 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:21,242 Everybody, this is albert. 407 00:23:21,266 --> 00:23:23,200 - hi. - all: hi. 408 00:23:24,536 --> 00:23:27,470 Albert, this is jack, the Man I was involved with. 409 00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:30,886 - hi, albert. - what's happening? 410 00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,354 Oh, fine, thank you. 411 00:23:33,378 --> 00:23:35,690 Don't take this too hard, 412 00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:38,526 I'm sure you'll find Yourself another old lady. 413 00:23:38,550 --> 00:23:40,561 - you think so? - sure. 414 00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:42,530 Come on, let's go skateboard. 415 00:23:42,554 --> 00:23:45,467 - laurie: can't we Go to the beach? - skateboarding. 416 00:23:45,491 --> 00:23:47,291 I just love a man Who's forceful. 417 00:23:50,129 --> 00:23:51,661 Women. 418 00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:02,184 Kids... They're impossible. 419 00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:06,944 Oh, come on, stanley, You were a kid once. 420 00:24:08,013 --> 00:24:10,125 Weren't you? 421 00:24:10,149 --> 00:24:14,262 You can't blame laurie For having a crush on jack. 422 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,731 Yeah, between you and me, 423 00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:19,189 Isn't it love crazy? 424 00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:26,029 Between you and me, It would be ridiculous. 425 00:24:51,123 --> 00:24:53,501 Ritter's voice: three's Company was videotaped 426 00:24:53,525 --> 00:24:55,726 in front of a studio audience. 33232

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