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♪ come and knock on our door ♪
2
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,625
♪ come and knock on our door ♪
3
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,627
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
4
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,296
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
5
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,898
♪ where the kisses are
Hers and hers and his ♪
6
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,167
♪ three's company too ♪
7
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,169
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
8
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,171
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
9
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,008
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
10
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:34,111
♪ we've a lovable space
That needs your face ♪
11
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:37,014
♪ three's company too ♪
12
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,883
♪ you'll see that
Life is a ball again ♪
13
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:43,320
♪ laughter is calling for you ♪
14
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,390
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
15
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:49,113
♪ three's company too ♪
16
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:11,414
♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
17
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,171
♪ three's company too. ♪
18
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,255
- you remember that?
- and then... Then,
19
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:21,124
There was this woman who
Was always behind in her rent.
20
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,727
And one day she came
Down to our apartment
21
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:27,697
With dollar bills stuck
All over her nude body
22
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,799
And she said to
Stanley... She said,
23
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:33,770
"Well, if you want your rent, you're
Just gonna have to take it off me."
24
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,930
- oh, mr. Roper, did he?
- yeah, he did.
25
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,978
But I made him leave the room
26
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,213
While I took the last $3.
27
00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:48,618
Boy, nothing like that
Happens around here anymore.
28
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,621
Oh, no? Oh, I can
Tell you stories
29
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,357
About the people
Who live here now...
30
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,893
Oh, no. Mrs. Roper, I don't
Think that would be right.
31
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,729
Oh, janet, I respect
My tenants' privacy.
32
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,964
I would never use any names.
33
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,301
- oh, good.
- did you you know
34
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:07,793
That 301 and 204
Are having an affair?
35
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,108
Hi, girls. Hi, mrs. Roper.
What are you ladies up to?
36
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,744
Oh, nothing, nothing,
Just a little gossip.
37
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,146
You know there's no such
A thing as a little gossip.
38
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:20,049
But that's not for me. I've got
More important things to do.
39
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:23,220
Okay. Anyway, 301 is messing
Around with 204, see? And...
40
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,844
Wait a second, that's
Not what I heard.
41
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:30,126
I heard it was 301 and 106?
42
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,329
I thought you didn't
Like gossip, jack.
43
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,331
That's not gossip,
Chrissy. That's a truth.
44
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:37,100
I got it right from
The horse's mouth, 207.
45
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:40,470
You'd believe 207
46
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,640
After what he did with 306?
47
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,776
207 had a thing with 306?!
48
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,078
And 105.
49
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:52,671
- janet: I didn't know that.
- neither did 306.
50
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,286
I'm gonna go heat
Up some more coffee,
51
00:02:56,310 --> 00:03:00,022
But if my number
Comes up, call me, okay?
52
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,180
I'll get it.
53
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,929
- hi, jack.
- hey, larry.
54
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,164
- janet and mrs. Roper:
Hey, larry.
- hi, ladies.
55
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,900
Jack, baby, have I got some
Shocking news for you!
56
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,936
We already know about 306.
57
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,505
- no, no, this news
Is about me.
- what is it?
58
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,941
Okay... Brace yourself.
59
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,943
Go ahead.
60
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,978
I am taking a bride.
61
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,180
Where?
62
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,182
To the altar. I'm
Getting married!
63
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,751
- you're getting what?!
- that's right... Married.
64
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,454
The free world is
Losing its greatest lover.
65
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,590
Larry, congratulations.
66
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:37,259
Larry, gosh, that's
Oh... That's fantastic.
67
00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,696
- congratulations, larry.
- thank you, mrs. Roper.
68
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,431
I wanna hear this. Now,
Who is this lucky girl?
69
00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:46,102
Her name is gloria. We're getting
Married as soon as we get the license.
70
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,070
Well, that's kind
Of fast, isn't, larry?
71
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:50,006
I mean, how long have
You known this girl?
72
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:53,242
Off and on? About a week.
73
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,712
Oh, I'm glad to see you're
Not rushing into anything.
74
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,947
No, no, no. Believe me,
Jack, I know it's right.
75
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:01,117
Gloria is something
Special. She is beautiful,
76
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,119
- she's intelligent...
- hi, larry.
77
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,187
Hi, chrissy. Besides,
78
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:07,891
Gloria is the first girl
Who ever said "No" to me.
79
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,859
Hey, chrissy, did you
Hear the big news?
80
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,203
- larry is getting
Married.
- uh-huh.
81
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,733
- to a girl who said "No?"
- that's right. If she
Had said "Yes"
82
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,724
- I never would
Have asked her.
- oh.
83
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:27,376
Isn't it exciting?
Just imagine...
84
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,112
Our own larry getting married!
85
00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:32,916
Yeah. Hey, jack, you lucky dog.
86
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,918
I want you to be my best man.
87
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,353
Oh, larry, I'm flattered.
88
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:40,089
Does that mean I can come
Along on the honeymoon?
89
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,346
Sure, you can wait in the car.
90
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,862
Okay, larry, when do
We get to meet gloria?
91
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:49,031
- how about tonight? She's coming over.
- oh, that's great!
92
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:51,300
- where are you
Getting married?
- at city hall.
93
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,269
- yeah?
- city hall?!
94
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,538
Oh, no, larry,
95
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:59,108
A wedding is something
You remember all your life.
96
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,545
You ought to... You ought
To hold it someplace special.
97
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,581
Hmm, like where?
98
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,783
Well, like... Like my apartment.
99
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:10,319
- we could have a terrific
Wedding in my apartment.
- janet and chrissy: oh.
100
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,421
- jack: that's perfect.
- larry: whoa, wait.
101
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,291
Hold it, hold it. You sure that
It'll be all right with mr. Roper?
102
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,259
Are you kidding?
103
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,729
Stanley loves weddings!
104
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,098
Are you kidding?
105
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,233
I hate weddings!
106
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:27,937
But stanley, they're
A young couple.
107
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:31,841
I mean, a nice wedding
Would give them a good start.
108
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:35,934
Nowadays, most young couples
Start long before the wedding.
109
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:40,016
Oh, stanley, be a sport.
110
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,885
You know how I love weddings.
111
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,788
I always have such a good cry.
112
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:48,758
You're not gonna have it here. I
Don't want people to see me cry.
113
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:52,028
You?! You didn't
Cry at our wedding.
114
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:55,264
I didn't pay for our wedding.
115
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:58,401
Oh, so that's it? The money.
116
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:02,071
- I might've guessed.
- helen, look, weddings
Are expensive.
117
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,541
You know, by the time you
Get the flowers and the food
118
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:08,399
And the liquor... I mean, you
Wind up spending $2, $3 a person.
119
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,015
Stanley, I gave my word
120
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,018
And we are throwing
This wedding.
121
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,643
It's all my fault. I've been
Too generous with you.
122
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,225
- what?!
- you're pampered,
123
00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:26,651
You're spoiled rotten. I give
You everything a woman needs.
124
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:31,055
- how about a new stove?
- you don't need it.
125
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:35,527
Well, I guess I shouldn't
Break up the set.
126
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,240
Set? What set?
127
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:41,477
An old stove, an old husband.
128
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:44,202
And they both take
Too long to heat up.
129
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:53,556
And there we were in
This little restaurant...
130
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,826
You know, just kind of
Gazing out at the moon
131
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,195
And all of a sudden
132
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,620
Poopsy whoopsy
Pops the question.
133
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,602
Poopsy whoopsy?
134
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:08,437
Just a little silly
Name she calls me.
135
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:12,101
Where did you ever come
Up with that, cuddle-cakes?
136
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,044
Here we go... Champagne
For everybody.
137
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,546
- larry: oh, wow.
- gloria: yeah, so nice.
138
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,882
- chrissy: champagne?!
- janet: what a surprise.
139
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:23,486
- it's time to toast
The bride and groom.
- chrissy and janet: okay.
140
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:26,222
To gloria and
Larry... Happy days.
141
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,180
- good times.
- little house
On the prairie.
142
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,400
It's okay, chrissy.
You can drink now.
143
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:40,569
Everybody relax, I'll
Go see about the food.
144
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:43,606
- why don't I give
Jack a hand?
- janet: okay.
145
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:55,518
- hi.
- hi.
146
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:59,188
You don't remember me, do you?
147
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:02,458
Sure, I do. You're the
Girl from the living room.
148
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,795
We went to high school together.
149
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,764
- come on! We did?
- you used to sit
150
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,099
In front of a very
Heavy-set, brown-haired girl,
151
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,101
With horn-rimmed glasses.
152
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,571
Oh, sure... Fatty four-eyes.
153
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,840
Let's see, her name was...
154
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,665
- gloria?!
- yeah.
155
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,713
The stillman diet,
Contact lenses
156
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,782
And color me blonde.
157
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,751
- oh, color me red... Oh, wow!
- you know,
158
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,487
I used to have the
Wildest crush on you.
159
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,890
Did you, fatty? I mean, gloria.
160
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,925
I'm sorry.
161
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,027
I had dreams of you and me
162
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,863
Making mad, passionate love.
163
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,367
Well, that was a long time ago.
164
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:47,692
It was last night.
165
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,029
Last night? Uh...
166
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,543
Well, look... Gloria, uh...
167
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,612
I don't know if we
Should be in here alone...
168
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,082
You know I mean? Larry...
He is my best friend.
169
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:02,819
I always say, "Why
To go to strangers?"
170
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,755
Now don't forget,
You're engaged to larry.
171
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,624
I'm getting married, not buried.
172
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:12,294
And larry will be out
Bowling every wednesday.
173
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:15,297
- no, gloria,
Larry doesn't bowl.
- we'll teach him.
174
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:18,300
- gloria! Gloria, please!
- jack, you don't
Have to beg,
175
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,258
Just ask!
176
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,694
- can I help you guys?
- oh?
177
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,783
- you're a beast!
- a rat.
178
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,618
- a snake.
- a skunk.
179
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,508
A giraffe.
180
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,511
A giraffe?!
181
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,060
I ran out of animals.
182
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,663
Jack, that was such a lousy
Thing that you did to larry.
183
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,866
- he didn't do it to larry!
- chrissy!
184
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,534
If you girls will shut up
For a second, I can explain.
185
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:55,738
I did not make a pass at
Gloria. She was attacking me.
186
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,374
Oh, right, yeah. That's why
Chrissy came in the kitchen
187
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:01,110
And found you with
Gloria pinned to the table.
188
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,980
- come here. I'll show you.
- show me what? Jack!
189
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:08,151
Look, janet, she backed
Me up against the hot stove.
190
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:10,153
I'll show you the burn marks.
191
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:12,321
No!
192
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,524
Jack, that was really a
Very rotten thing to do!
193
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:16,340
Honest, janet...
194
00:10:16,364 --> 00:10:18,995
With your own best friend
Sitting in the very next room!
195
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,164
- chrissy, I...
- that's right. How could you?
196
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:23,748
- how did you...
- janet, if you...
197
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,636
That's how! Now you
Believe me, chrissy?
198
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,306
- that's exactly what happened!
- chrissy, I believe him.
199
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,976
- I believe him.
- okay, I guess
I believe him too.
200
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,301
- janet, you look so pretty.
- oh, that's... Jack!
201
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,215
- jack!
- oh, boy,
202
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,184
This is such a mess! Oh, god.
203
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:44,053
We have to get larry
Out of this wedding!
204
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,455
Just hang on a minute, chrissy.
205
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,457
Before we call up
Anybody's wedding,
206
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,427
- we have to figure out
How serious this is.
- this is serious.
207
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:55,119
If she's attracted to you, she
Could be attracted to anybody!
208
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:01,403
Jack, jack, please.
209
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,339
- listen, larry's
Gotta be told.
- I know.
210
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,741
Let me just figure out
A way to tell... It's larry.
211
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,676
- hi, larry.
- hi, jack.
212
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,079
- jack: hi.
- I just walked
Gloria home.
213
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:13,816
Oh, gosh, that's nice.
Ahem... Listen, larry,
214
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,185
Um... Jack has something
215
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,054
That he wants to
Talk with you about,
216
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,622
So I... I thought chrissy and
I would wait in the bedroom
217
00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:23,982
And you could just... Be
Here alone. Come on, chrissy.
218
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,399
Oh, boy. Larry, you
Know, living with two girls
219
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,568
- is very intense...
- look, look... Jack, jack,
220
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:35,738
Before you say anything, there's
Something I wanna say to you too.
221
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:38,741
- well, is it about... Is it about gloria?
- uh-huh.
222
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:41,110
She told me what
Happened in the kitchen.
223
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,812
- she did?
- uh-huh.
224
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,915
- everything?
- everything.
225
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,050
So...
226
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:51,120
- what are you gonna do now?
- forgive you.
227
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,389
I think that's the best
Thing... Forgive me?
228
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,657
Look, look, we're all
Human. I understand,
229
00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:58,060
With a girl like gloria,
Even a best friend like you
230
00:11:58,084 --> 00:11:59,996
Couldn't help
Making a pass at her.
231
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,098
- what?!
- just one thing,
232
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,767
Don't let it happen again, hmm?
233
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,818
Come on, jack just face it.
234
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,986
You have got to
Tell larry the truth.
235
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,122
I can't tell him.
Gloria's the girl
236
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,124
He's gonna share his life with.
237
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:32,161
What about the guys he's
Gonna share his wife with?
238
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,763
Chrissy, I can't
Do it. He'll kill me.
239
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:37,633
All right, jack. All right,
Now look. Think about this
240
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,635
For a moment, okay?
241
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:43,705
Are you gonna stand by and let your very
Best friend throw his entire life away?
242
00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:47,042
- what's my other choice?
- jack!
243
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:49,911
- I'm just kidding. I'm kidding... Sort of.
- gosh.
244
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,548
Boy, am I glad that
We called larry
245
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,985
Instead of waiting
For jack to call him.
246
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,020
- you did what?
- that's right, jack.
247
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:01,290
We called larry before you got
Home. He ought to be here any minute.
248
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,326
Oh no, I got to get out of here.
249
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,328
Jack, come on.
250
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,118
The wedding is tomorrow.
251
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,333
Yeah, you're
Right. You're right.
252
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,201
I'm his best man.
253
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,197
I'm his best friend.
I've got to tell him.
254
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:18,174
Jack, answer the door.
255
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:21,466
- answer the door.
- I have to do all
The dirty work around here.
256
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,715
- hi, lar. Hi.
- hi, gang.
257
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:29,651
- hi, larry.
- what is it you wanted
To see me about, jack?
258
00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:32,288
Oh, we... Chrissy, janet
And I, we just have a...
259
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,858
Chrissy, let's you and I get
Something and bring it back for dinner.
260
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:37,860
- oh good, I'll go with you.
- jack, never mind.
261
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,596
Chrissy and I can handle it.
We know exactly what to get.
262
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,931
- they know what to get.
- here you are, good buddy.
263
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:45,901
A little gift for the best
Man. It's a bottle of scotch.
264
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:49,305
- oh, gee, thanks, larry.
- I know you don't
Drink whiskey,
265
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,374
But it's the thought
That counts.
266
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,376
Besides, it was on sale.
267
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,345
I gotta start watching
My pennies now, you know.
268
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,347
Yeah, I guess so.
269
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:01,150
Speaking of money, jack, I
Could use a little advice.
270
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,019
You see, gloria
Has this crazy idea
271
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,955
That I own the used
Car lot that I work at.
272
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,957
What? What a minute,
273
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,993
Where'd she ever
Get an idea like that?
274
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,995
I think it was when I told her.
275
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,063
- oh...
- no way. What's the problem?
276
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,099
I can lay the truth
On her anytime.
277
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:20,324
She loves me, right? Huh?
278
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:25,374
- larry, about gloria...
- yeah, pal.
279
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,611
I need a drink first.
280
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,679
- would you like a drink?
- no, no, thanks.
281
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,904
I don't touch that cheap stuff.
282
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,575
Hi...
283
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:45,494
Larry, do you know what
You're getting yourself into?
284
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,429
I mean you used to
Be the kind of guy
285
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,465
To take out a different
Lady every night.
286
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,667
Yeah, I once had a
Dream of working my way
287
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,669
Through the entire phone book.
288
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,272
It was my way of giving
Pleasure alphabetically.
289
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,276
You see, that's
The point. I mean,
290
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,545
You're going to be stuck
With one woman, gloria,
291
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:06,415
- for the rest of your life.
- at least I got as far
As the gs.
292
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:09,652
Go for "H," larry, go for "H."
293
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,787
What are you trying
To say, old buddy?
294
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,122
It's just that...
295
00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:17,481
It's just that... Excuse me.
296
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,256
Wa-aw...
297
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:31,139
Larry, let me put it this way.
298
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:34,142
You know, sometimes getting
Married is a lot like buying a car.
299
00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:36,278
You know, you think
You're the original owner,
300
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:39,942
When actually it's been
Parked in a lot of other garages.
301
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,452
You know what I mean, pal?
302
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:47,778
- no.
- yeah, that's what
I thought. Excuse me.
303
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,306
Look, jack, jack, for two
Hours now, I've been waiting
304
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,308
For you to say
What's on your mind.
305
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:07,976
Can we hurry it up a little bit?
306
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,779
- what about gloria?
- okay.
307
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,716
I just hate to
Tell you this, uh...
308
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:18,120
- larry.
- larry, I'm sorry. Larry, larry.
309
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,889
I hate to tell you
This, larry, but...
310
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,013
This is the truth.
311
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,830
First, I was in the kitchen
312
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:31,400
Taking my hors d'oeuvres
Out of the stove.
313
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,802
And in comes gloria.
314
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:38,040
"You don't remember me, do you?"
315
00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:41,577
"Fatty four-eyes
With contact lenses."
316
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:44,647
"The stillman diet,
And color me blonde,
317
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:48,817
And mad, passionate dream."
318
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:52,388
"No, fatty four-eyes,
They're in the other room."
319
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:55,191
"I'm getting
Married not buried."
320
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,393
"No..."
321
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,261
"Yes."
322
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,330
"No!" - "Yes!"
323
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:05,000
Look out for the
Hot stove! Ow...
324
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,704
And that's the way it
Happened, larry, larry...
325
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,009
You understand
What I'm telling you?
326
00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:18,681
- not a word.
- larry.
327
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,716
Larry, oh, larry.
328
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,719
Don't you understand?
329
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,322
She's gonna send you bowling.
330
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:29,647
- I don't bowl!
- I'm suppose to teach you.
331
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:40,736
♪ here comes the bride ♪
332
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,106
♪ dum-dum-da-dum ♪
333
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,530
♪ da-da-da... ♪
334
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,450
Isn't this exciting?
335
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,852
Ow, ow, ow...
336
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,455
- oh...
- hey, janet,
Stop blinking your eyes.
337
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,823
The noise is deafening.
338
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:05,561
That's your own fault, jack tripper,
For drinking all that whiskey last night.
339
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,829
- and you still
Didn't tell larry.
- I tried.
340
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:10,432
Jack, do you know that you
Were so drunk that chrissy and I
341
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,056
Had to undress you
And put you to bed?
342
00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,139
I hope you didn't
Take advantage of me.
343
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:19,908
You know what a pushover
I am after a few drinks.
344
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,843
You know, stanley,
345
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:25,748
That's a very hungry
Minister you've got there.
346
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:29,451
- where did you find him?
- in the yellow pages.
347
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:32,943
- what?
- he's from some church
Over on pico.
348
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,593
What denomination?
349
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,663
What do I care? He was cheap.
350
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:43,632
It's your church, all right.
351
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,702
Your trouble is you think
Money is something to spend.
352
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,704
Hey, where's larry?
353
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:52,240
He's upstairs waiting
To walk the last mile.
354
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:56,211
Oh, gloria, you make
Such a beautiful bride.
355
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:59,903
- thank you.
- it's a shame you don't
Take it up professionally.
356
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:06,087
Don't you think this is a
Gorgeous wedding dress?
357
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:08,857
Oh yeah, I bet it was expensive.
358
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,527
Oh yeah, but
Larry can afford it.
359
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:14,184
I mean after all, he
Does own a used car lot.
360
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:21,069
Mrs. Roper, the minister is
Ready to begin the ceremony.
361
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:24,072
Oh jack, isn't it thrilling?
362
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:27,275
Doesn't it make you want to
Just run out and get married?
363
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,277
Don't rush him, helen.
364
00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:32,661
He's still waiting for
Mr. Right to come along.
365
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,218
Stanley, I guess you can put on
366
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:38,654
"The wedding march" record now.
367
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,357
No, I can't. I didn't buy one.
368
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,759
Stanley, why not?
369
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,662
Why spend $2 for something
You're only going to use once?
370
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:50,654
You should have thought of that
When you bought our marriage license.
371
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:56,672
Excuse me, look, do
We have to have music?
372
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,007
I mean, couldn't
We just hum softly?
373
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,999
Don't worry, we're
Gonna have music.
374
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,681
I'm gonna play this.
375
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,316
No, no, stanley!
376
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,019
A bugle isn't appropriate
For a wedding.
377
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,483
Why not? It started
All the other wars.
378
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,558
I'll get it.
379
00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:18,527
Anything to stop the noise.
380
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,996
- hi, jack...
- hold up, what do you think you're doing?
381
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,064
- I gotta talk to gloria.
- you know it's bad luck
382
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:25,333
For the groom to see the
Bride before the wedding?
383
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:28,404
- but there's something...
- you stay out there. Stay out there.
384
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,739
Okay, gloria's
Waiting in the hall.
385
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,341
Oh, oh, everybody take
Your place. Take your place.
386
00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:35,343
Take your place, stanley, jack.
387
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:39,848
Okay, remember, when I knock
Three times, you come out, okay?
388
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,850
Oh boy, more knocking.
389
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,919
Hey, larry, get ready.
390
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:47,355
You can start the music now.
391
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,257
What's happening?
392
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:03,539
Gloria, gloria, is
Everything okay?
393
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,896
- she's not here.
- I'll check the bathroom.
394
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,645
- she's not in the bathroom.
- uh-oh, uh-oh.
395
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,647
- what?
- the window is open.
396
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,450
- oh...
- she must have climbed
Out and taken off.
397
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:17,185
- chrissy and janet: no...
- what's going on in there?
398
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,354
I think they're coming
Now, stanley. Play.
399
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:22,123
Play, play, play.
400
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:31,333
Gloria's run out. She's
Walked out on larry. She's gone.
401
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:34,269
Does that mean
The wedding is off?
402
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,271
Nobody touch the cake.
403
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,261
I think I can return it.
404
00:21:39,365 --> 00:21:41,343
I don't understand. Why?
405
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:44,012
Why would she
Just leave like this?
406
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:47,282
Beats me. She seemed to
Take the news very well.
407
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,217
What news?
408
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:52,187
I told her that larry didn't really
Own the used car lot like he said,
409
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:56,391
- that he just worked there.
- now, why didn't I think
Of telling her that?
410
00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:58,760
'cause you're not smart like me.
411
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,332
Poor larry, he's been jilted.
412
00:22:04,356 --> 00:22:06,502
Well, I guess, I gotta
Be the one to tell him.
413
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,492
It's gonna kill him.
414
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:14,009
Larry, I don't know
How to tell you this.
415
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:17,679
- or where to tell you.
- what? You mean
He's gone too?
416
00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:19,715
What?
417
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,884
"Dear jack, thanks
For last night.
418
00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:24,887
The message got through.
419
00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:26,955
One girl isn't enough for me.
420
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,290
P.S. Monday I'm
Starting on the hs,
421
00:22:29,314 --> 00:22:31,248
Love larry."
422
00:22:32,718 --> 00:22:35,731
Nice wedding party
You threw, helen.
423
00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:37,766
You had to go for
The expensive mints.
424
00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:39,668
Well, I didn't know.
425
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,737
Look at all the food,
The cake, the minister,
426
00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:43,727
It's all money out the window.
427
00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:48,309
It doesn't have to
Go to waste, stanley.
428
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:51,046
What?
429
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:54,082
You and I could get
Married all over again.
430
00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:56,840
Are you kidding? Once is enough.
431
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,188
Come on, mr. Roper,
It'll be fun.
432
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,858
- yeah, come on,
Mr. Roper, go for it.
- yeah, mr. Roper.
433
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,082
Yeah, go ahead
And marry the girl.
434
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,151
I don't want to.
435
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:13,669
You're paying for it anyway.
436
00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:18,607
Oh well, okay.
437
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:21,242
I'm just doing this
For you, helen.
438
00:23:21,266 --> 00:23:23,244
- mrs. Roper, here.
- oh, oh, good.
439
00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:25,747
- and chrissy and I
Will be your bridesmaids.
- oh...
440
00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:28,205
You could be the flower girl.
441
00:23:31,443 --> 00:23:34,756
"Dearly beloved, we are
Gathered here to celebrate..."
442
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,125
Hold it, hold it. If we're
Gonna get married again,
443
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,327
Let's do this right.
444
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:55,844
Boy, mrs. Roper, that
Was a wonderful wedding.
445
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:58,580
- it sure was.
- it's about time
You kids made it legal.
446
00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:02,584
We all had our fun.
The wedding's over.
447
00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:05,643
Oh, no it isn't, stanley.
448
00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:10,380
There's still the wedding night.
449
00:24:12,417 --> 00:24:16,999
We're gonna do exactly
What we did the last time.
450
00:24:17,023 --> 00:24:19,267
Good idea, helen.
451
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:21,202
Really, stanley?
452
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:24,427
Yeah, you go change.
And I'll get the cards.
453
00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:52,800
Ritter's voice: three's
Company was videotaped
454
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:55,025
in front of a studio audience.
35423
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