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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,523 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,625 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,627 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,296 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,898 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,167 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,169 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,171 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,008 - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:34,111 ♪ we've a lovable space That needs your face ♪ 11 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:37,014 ♪ three's company too ♪ 12 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,883 ♪ you'll see that Life is a ball again ♪ 13 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:43,320 ♪ laughter is calling for you ♪ 14 00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,390 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:49,113 ♪ three's company too ♪ 16 00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:11,414 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 17 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,171 ♪ three's company too. ♪ 18 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,255 - you remember that? - and then... Then, 19 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:21,124 There was this woman who Was always behind in her rent. 20 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,727 And one day she came Down to our apartment 21 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:27,697 With dollar bills stuck All over her nude body 22 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,799 And she said to Stanley... She said, 23 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:33,770 "Well, if you want your rent, you're Just gonna have to take it off me." 24 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,930 - oh, mr. Roper, did he? - yeah, he did. 25 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,978 But I made him leave the room 26 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,213 While I took the last $3. 27 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:48,618 Boy, nothing like that Happens around here anymore. 28 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,621 Oh, no? Oh, I can Tell you stories 29 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,357 About the people Who live here now... 30 00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,893 Oh, no. Mrs. Roper, I don't Think that would be right. 31 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,729 Oh, janet, I respect My tenants' privacy. 32 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,964 I would never use any names. 33 00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,301 - oh, good. - did you you know 34 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:07,793 That 301 and 204 Are having an affair? 35 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,108 Hi, girls. Hi, mrs. Roper. What are you ladies up to? 36 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,744 Oh, nothing, nothing, Just a little gossip. 37 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,146 You know there's no such A thing as a little gossip. 38 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:20,049 But that's not for me. I've got More important things to do. 39 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:23,220 Okay. Anyway, 301 is messing Around with 204, see? And... 40 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,844 Wait a second, that's Not what I heard. 41 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:30,126 I heard it was 301 and 106? 42 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,329 I thought you didn't Like gossip, jack. 43 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,331 That's not gossip, Chrissy. That's a truth. 44 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:37,100 I got it right from The horse's mouth, 207. 45 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:40,470 You'd believe 207 46 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,640 After what he did with 306? 47 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,776 207 had a thing with 306?! 48 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,078 And 105. 49 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:52,671 - janet: I didn't know that. - neither did 306. 50 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,286 I'm gonna go heat Up some more coffee, 51 00:02:56,310 --> 00:03:00,022 But if my number Comes up, call me, okay? 52 00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,180 I'll get it. 53 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,929 - hi, jack. - hey, larry. 54 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,164 - janet and mrs. Roper: Hey, larry. - hi, ladies. 55 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,900 Jack, baby, have I got some Shocking news for you! 56 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,936 We already know about 306. 57 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,505 - no, no, this news Is about me. - what is it? 58 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,941 Okay... Brace yourself. 59 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,943 Go ahead. 60 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,978 I am taking a bride. 61 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,180 Where? 62 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,182 To the altar. I'm Getting married! 63 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,751 - you're getting what?! - that's right... Married. 64 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,454 The free world is Losing its greatest lover. 65 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,590 Larry, congratulations. 66 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:37,259 Larry, gosh, that's Oh... That's fantastic. 67 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,696 - congratulations, larry. - thank you, mrs. Roper. 68 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,431 I wanna hear this. Now, Who is this lucky girl? 69 00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:46,102 Her name is gloria. We're getting Married as soon as we get the license. 70 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,070 Well, that's kind Of fast, isn't, larry? 71 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:50,006 I mean, how long have You known this girl? 72 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:53,242 Off and on? About a week. 73 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,712 Oh, I'm glad to see you're Not rushing into anything. 74 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,947 No, no, no. Believe me, Jack, I know it's right. 75 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:01,117 Gloria is something Special. She is beautiful, 76 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,119 - she's intelligent... - hi, larry. 77 00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,187 Hi, chrissy. Besides, 78 00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:07,891 Gloria is the first girl Who ever said "No" to me. 79 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,859 Hey, chrissy, did you Hear the big news? 80 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,203 - larry is getting Married. - uh-huh. 81 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,733 - to a girl who said "No?" - that's right. If she Had said "Yes" 82 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,724 - I never would Have asked her. - oh. 83 00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:27,376 Isn't it exciting? Just imagine... 84 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,112 Our own larry getting married! 85 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:32,916 Yeah. Hey, jack, you lucky dog. 86 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,918 I want you to be my best man. 87 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,353 Oh, larry, I'm flattered. 88 00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:40,089 Does that mean I can come Along on the honeymoon? 89 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,346 Sure, you can wait in the car. 90 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,862 Okay, larry, when do We get to meet gloria? 91 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:49,031 - how about tonight? She's coming over. - oh, that's great! 92 00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:51,300 - where are you Getting married? - at city hall. 93 00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,269 - yeah? - city hall?! 94 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,538 Oh, no, larry, 95 00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:59,108 A wedding is something You remember all your life. 96 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,545 You ought to... You ought To hold it someplace special. 97 00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,581 Hmm, like where? 98 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,783 Well, like... Like my apartment. 99 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:10,319 - we could have a terrific Wedding in my apartment. - janet and chrissy: oh. 100 00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,421 - jack: that's perfect. - larry: whoa, wait. 101 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,291 Hold it, hold it. You sure that It'll be all right with mr. Roper? 102 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,259 Are you kidding? 103 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,729 Stanley loves weddings! 104 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,098 Are you kidding? 105 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,233 I hate weddings! 106 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:27,937 But stanley, they're A young couple. 107 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:31,841 I mean, a nice wedding Would give them a good start. 108 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:35,934 Nowadays, most young couples Start long before the wedding. 109 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:40,016 Oh, stanley, be a sport. 110 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,885 You know how I love weddings. 111 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,788 I always have such a good cry. 112 00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:48,758 You're not gonna have it here. I Don't want people to see me cry. 113 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:52,028 You?! You didn't Cry at our wedding. 114 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:55,264 I didn't pay for our wedding. 115 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:58,401 Oh, so that's it? The money. 116 00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:02,071 - I might've guessed. - helen, look, weddings Are expensive. 117 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,541 You know, by the time you Get the flowers and the food 118 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:08,399 And the liquor... I mean, you Wind up spending $2, $3 a person. 119 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,015 Stanley, I gave my word 120 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,018 And we are throwing This wedding. 121 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,643 It's all my fault. I've been Too generous with you. 122 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,225 - what?! - you're pampered, 123 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:26,651 You're spoiled rotten. I give You everything a woman needs. 124 00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:31,055 - how about a new stove? - you don't need it. 125 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:35,527 Well, I guess I shouldn't Break up the set. 126 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,240 Set? What set? 127 00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:41,477 An old stove, an old husband. 128 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:44,202 And they both take Too long to heat up. 129 00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:53,556 And there we were in This little restaurant... 130 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,826 You know, just kind of Gazing out at the moon 131 00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,195 And all of a sudden 132 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,620 Poopsy whoopsy Pops the question. 133 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,602 Poopsy whoopsy? 134 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:08,437 Just a little silly Name she calls me. 135 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:12,101 Where did you ever come Up with that, cuddle-cakes? 136 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,044 Here we go... Champagne For everybody. 137 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,546 - larry: oh, wow. - gloria: yeah, so nice. 138 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,882 - chrissy: champagne?! - janet: what a surprise. 139 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:23,486 - it's time to toast The bride and groom. - chrissy and janet: okay. 140 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:26,222 To gloria and Larry... Happy days. 141 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,180 - good times. - little house On the prairie. 142 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,400 It's okay, chrissy. You can drink now. 143 00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:40,569 Everybody relax, I'll Go see about the food. 144 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:43,606 - why don't I give Jack a hand? - janet: okay. 145 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:55,518 - hi. - hi. 146 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:59,188 You don't remember me, do you? 147 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:02,458 Sure, I do. You're the Girl from the living room. 148 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,795 We went to high school together. 149 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,764 - come on! We did? - you used to sit 150 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,099 In front of a very Heavy-set, brown-haired girl, 151 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,101 With horn-rimmed glasses. 152 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,571 Oh, sure... Fatty four-eyes. 153 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,840 Let's see, her name was... 154 00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,665 - gloria?! - yeah. 155 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,713 The stillman diet, Contact lenses 156 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,782 And color me blonde. 157 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,751 - oh, color me red... Oh, wow! - you know, 158 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,487 I used to have the Wildest crush on you. 159 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,890 Did you, fatty? I mean, gloria. 160 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,925 I'm sorry. 161 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,027 I had dreams of you and me 162 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,863 Making mad, passionate love. 163 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,367 Well, that was a long time ago. 164 00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:47,692 It was last night. 165 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,029 Last night? Uh... 166 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,543 Well, look... Gloria, uh... 167 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,612 I don't know if we Should be in here alone... 168 00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,082 You know I mean? Larry... He is my best friend. 169 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:02,819 I always say, "Why To go to strangers?" 170 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,755 Now don't forget, You're engaged to larry. 171 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,624 I'm getting married, not buried. 172 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:12,294 And larry will be out Bowling every wednesday. 173 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:15,297 - no, gloria, Larry doesn't bowl. - we'll teach him. 174 00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:18,300 - gloria! Gloria, please! - jack, you don't Have to beg, 175 00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,258 Just ask! 176 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,694 - can I help you guys? - oh? 177 00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,783 - you're a beast! - a rat. 178 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,618 - a snake. - a skunk. 179 00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,508 A giraffe. 180 00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,511 A giraffe?! 181 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,060 I ran out of animals. 182 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,663 Jack, that was such a lousy Thing that you did to larry. 183 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,866 - he didn't do it to larry! - chrissy! 184 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,534 If you girls will shut up For a second, I can explain. 185 00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:55,738 I did not make a pass at Gloria. She was attacking me. 186 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,374 Oh, right, yeah. That's why Chrissy came in the kitchen 187 00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:01,110 And found you with Gloria pinned to the table. 188 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,980 - come here. I'll show you. - show me what? Jack! 189 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:08,151 Look, janet, she backed Me up against the hot stove. 190 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:10,153 I'll show you the burn marks. 191 00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:12,321 No! 192 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,524 Jack, that was really a Very rotten thing to do! 193 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:16,340 Honest, janet... 194 00:10:16,364 --> 00:10:18,995 With your own best friend Sitting in the very next room! 195 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,164 - chrissy, I... - that's right. How could you? 196 00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:23,748 - how did you... - janet, if you... 197 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,636 That's how! Now you Believe me, chrissy? 198 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,306 - that's exactly what happened! - chrissy, I believe him. 199 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,976 - I believe him. - okay, I guess I believe him too. 200 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,301 - janet, you look so pretty. - oh, that's... Jack! 201 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,215 - jack! - oh, boy, 202 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,184 This is such a mess! Oh, god. 203 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:44,053 We have to get larry Out of this wedding! 204 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,455 Just hang on a minute, chrissy. 205 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,457 Before we call up Anybody's wedding, 206 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,427 - we have to figure out How serious this is. - this is serious. 207 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:55,119 If she's attracted to you, she Could be attracted to anybody! 208 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:01,403 Jack, jack, please. 209 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,339 - listen, larry's Gotta be told. - I know. 210 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,741 Let me just figure out A way to tell... It's larry. 211 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,676 - hi, larry. - hi, jack. 212 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,079 - jack: hi. - I just walked Gloria home. 213 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:13,816 Oh, gosh, that's nice. Ahem... Listen, larry, 214 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,185 Um... Jack has something 215 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,054 That he wants to Talk with you about, 216 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,622 So I... I thought chrissy and I would wait in the bedroom 217 00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:23,982 And you could just... Be Here alone. Come on, chrissy. 218 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,399 Oh, boy. Larry, you Know, living with two girls 219 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,568 - is very intense... - look, look... Jack, jack, 220 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:35,738 Before you say anything, there's Something I wanna say to you too. 221 00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:38,741 - well, is it about... Is it about gloria? - uh-huh. 222 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:41,110 She told me what Happened in the kitchen. 223 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,812 - she did? - uh-huh. 224 00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,915 - everything? - everything. 225 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,050 So... 226 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:51,120 - what are you gonna do now? - forgive you. 227 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,389 I think that's the best Thing... Forgive me? 228 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,657 Look, look, we're all Human. I understand, 229 00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:58,060 With a girl like gloria, Even a best friend like you 230 00:11:58,084 --> 00:11:59,996 Couldn't help Making a pass at her. 231 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,098 - what?! - just one thing, 232 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,767 Don't let it happen again, hmm? 233 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,818 Come on, jack just face it. 234 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,986 You have got to Tell larry the truth. 235 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,122 I can't tell him. Gloria's the girl 236 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,124 He's gonna share his life with. 237 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:32,161 What about the guys he's Gonna share his wife with? 238 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,763 Chrissy, I can't Do it. He'll kill me. 239 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:37,633 All right, jack. All right, Now look. Think about this 240 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,635 For a moment, okay? 241 00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:43,705 Are you gonna stand by and let your very Best friend throw his entire life away? 242 00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:47,042 - what's my other choice? - jack! 243 00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:49,911 - I'm just kidding. I'm kidding... Sort of. - gosh. 244 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,548 Boy, am I glad that We called larry 245 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,985 Instead of waiting For jack to call him. 246 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,020 - you did what? - that's right, jack. 247 00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:01,290 We called larry before you got Home. He ought to be here any minute. 248 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,326 Oh no, I got to get out of here. 249 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,328 Jack, come on. 250 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,118 The wedding is tomorrow. 251 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,333 Yeah, you're Right. You're right. 252 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,201 I'm his best man. 253 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,197 I'm his best friend. I've got to tell him. 254 00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:18,174 Jack, answer the door. 255 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:21,466 - answer the door. - I have to do all The dirty work around here. 256 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,715 - hi, lar. Hi. - hi, gang. 257 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:29,651 - hi, larry. - what is it you wanted To see me about, jack? 258 00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:32,288 Oh, we... Chrissy, janet And I, we just have a... 259 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,858 Chrissy, let's you and I get Something and bring it back for dinner. 260 00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:37,860 - oh good, I'll go with you. - jack, never mind. 261 00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,596 Chrissy and I can handle it. We know exactly what to get. 262 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,931 - they know what to get. - here you are, good buddy. 263 00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:45,901 A little gift for the best Man. It's a bottle of scotch. 264 00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:49,305 - oh, gee, thanks, larry. - I know you don't Drink whiskey, 265 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,374 But it's the thought That counts. 266 00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,376 Besides, it was on sale. 267 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,345 I gotta start watching My pennies now, you know. 268 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,347 Yeah, I guess so. 269 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:01,150 Speaking of money, jack, I Could use a little advice. 270 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,019 You see, gloria Has this crazy idea 271 00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,955 That I own the used Car lot that I work at. 272 00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,957 What? What a minute, 273 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,993 Where'd she ever Get an idea like that? 274 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,995 I think it was when I told her. 275 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,063 - oh... - no way. What's the problem? 276 00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,099 I can lay the truth On her anytime. 277 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:20,324 She loves me, right? Huh? 278 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:25,374 - larry, about gloria... - yeah, pal. 279 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,611 I need a drink first. 280 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,679 - would you like a drink? - no, no, thanks. 281 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,904 I don't touch that cheap stuff. 282 00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,575 Hi... 283 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:45,494 Larry, do you know what You're getting yourself into? 284 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,429 I mean you used to Be the kind of guy 285 00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,465 To take out a different Lady every night. 286 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,667 Yeah, I once had a Dream of working my way 287 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,669 Through the entire phone book. 288 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,272 It was my way of giving Pleasure alphabetically. 289 00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,276 You see, that's The point. I mean, 290 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,545 You're going to be stuck With one woman, gloria, 291 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:06,415 - for the rest of your life. - at least I got as far As the gs. 292 00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:09,652 Go for "H," larry, go for "H." 293 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,787 What are you trying To say, old buddy? 294 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,122 It's just that... 295 00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:17,481 It's just that... Excuse me. 296 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,256 Wa-aw... 297 00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:31,139 Larry, let me put it this way. 298 00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:34,142 You know, sometimes getting Married is a lot like buying a car. 299 00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:36,278 You know, you think You're the original owner, 300 00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:39,942 When actually it's been Parked in a lot of other garages. 301 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,452 You know what I mean, pal? 302 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:47,778 - no. - yeah, that's what I thought. Excuse me. 303 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,306 Look, jack, jack, for two Hours now, I've been waiting 304 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,308 For you to say What's on your mind. 305 00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:07,976 Can we hurry it up a little bit? 306 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,779 - what about gloria? - okay. 307 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,716 I just hate to Tell you this, uh... 308 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:18,120 - larry. - larry, I'm sorry. Larry, larry. 309 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,889 I hate to tell you This, larry, but... 310 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,013 This is the truth. 311 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,830 First, I was in the kitchen 312 00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:31,400 Taking my hors d'oeuvres Out of the stove. 313 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,802 And in comes gloria. 314 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:38,040 "You don't remember me, do you?" 315 00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:41,577 "Fatty four-eyes With contact lenses." 316 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:44,647 "The stillman diet, And color me blonde, 317 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:48,817 And mad, passionate dream." 318 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:52,388 "No, fatty four-eyes, They're in the other room." 319 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:55,191 "I'm getting Married not buried." 320 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,393 "No..." 321 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,261 "Yes." 322 00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,330 "No!" - "Yes!" 323 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:05,000 Look out for the Hot stove! Ow... 324 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,704 And that's the way it Happened, larry, larry... 325 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,009 You understand What I'm telling you? 326 00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:18,681 - not a word. - larry. 327 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,716 Larry, oh, larry. 328 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,719 Don't you understand? 329 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,322 She's gonna send you bowling. 330 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:29,647 - I don't bowl! - I'm suppose to teach you. 331 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:40,736 ♪ here comes the bride ♪ 332 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,106 ♪ dum-dum-da-dum ♪ 333 00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,530 ♪ da-da-da... ♪ 334 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,450 Isn't this exciting? 335 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,852 Ow, ow, ow... 336 00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,455 - oh... - hey, janet, Stop blinking your eyes. 337 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,823 The noise is deafening. 338 00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:05,561 That's your own fault, jack tripper, For drinking all that whiskey last night. 339 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,829 - and you still Didn't tell larry. - I tried. 340 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:10,432 Jack, do you know that you Were so drunk that chrissy and I 341 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,056 Had to undress you And put you to bed? 342 00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,139 I hope you didn't Take advantage of me. 343 00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:19,908 You know what a pushover I am after a few drinks. 344 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,843 You know, stanley, 345 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:25,748 That's a very hungry Minister you've got there. 346 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:29,451 - where did you find him? - in the yellow pages. 347 00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:32,943 - what? - he's from some church Over on pico. 348 00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,593 What denomination? 349 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,663 What do I care? He was cheap. 350 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:43,632 It's your church, all right. 351 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,702 Your trouble is you think Money is something to spend. 352 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,704 Hey, where's larry? 353 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:52,240 He's upstairs waiting To walk the last mile. 354 00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:56,211 Oh, gloria, you make Such a beautiful bride. 355 00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:59,903 - thank you. - it's a shame you don't Take it up professionally. 356 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:06,087 Don't you think this is a Gorgeous wedding dress? 357 00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:08,857 Oh yeah, I bet it was expensive. 358 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,527 Oh yeah, but Larry can afford it. 359 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:14,184 I mean after all, he Does own a used car lot. 360 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:21,069 Mrs. Roper, the minister is Ready to begin the ceremony. 361 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:24,072 Oh jack, isn't it thrilling? 362 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:27,275 Doesn't it make you want to Just run out and get married? 363 00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,277 Don't rush him, helen. 364 00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:32,661 He's still waiting for Mr. Right to come along. 365 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,218 Stanley, I guess you can put on 366 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:38,654 "The wedding march" record now. 367 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,357 No, I can't. I didn't buy one. 368 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,759 Stanley, why not? 369 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,662 Why spend $2 for something You're only going to use once? 370 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:50,654 You should have thought of that When you bought our marriage license. 371 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:56,672 Excuse me, look, do We have to have music? 372 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,007 I mean, couldn't We just hum softly? 373 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,999 Don't worry, we're Gonna have music. 374 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,681 I'm gonna play this. 375 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,316 No, no, stanley! 376 00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,019 A bugle isn't appropriate For a wedding. 377 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,483 Why not? It started All the other wars. 378 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,558 I'll get it. 379 00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:18,527 Anything to stop the noise. 380 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,996 - hi, jack... - hold up, what do you think you're doing? 381 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,064 - I gotta talk to gloria. - you know it's bad luck 382 00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:25,333 For the groom to see the Bride before the wedding? 383 00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:28,404 - but there's something... - you stay out there. Stay out there. 384 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,739 Okay, gloria's Waiting in the hall. 385 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,341 Oh, oh, everybody take Your place. Take your place. 386 00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:35,343 Take your place, stanley, jack. 387 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:39,848 Okay, remember, when I knock Three times, you come out, okay? 388 00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,850 Oh boy, more knocking. 389 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,919 Hey, larry, get ready. 390 00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:47,355 You can start the music now. 391 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,257 What's happening? 392 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:03,539 Gloria, gloria, is Everything okay? 393 00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,896 - she's not here. - I'll check the bathroom. 394 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,645 - she's not in the bathroom. - uh-oh, uh-oh. 395 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,647 - what? - the window is open. 396 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,450 - oh... - she must have climbed Out and taken off. 397 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:17,185 - chrissy and janet: no... - what's going on in there? 398 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,354 I think they're coming Now, stanley. Play. 399 00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:22,123 Play, play, play. 400 00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:31,333 Gloria's run out. She's Walked out on larry. She's gone. 401 00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:34,269 Does that mean The wedding is off? 402 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,271 Nobody touch the cake. 403 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,261 I think I can return it. 404 00:21:39,365 --> 00:21:41,343 I don't understand. Why? 405 00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:44,012 Why would she Just leave like this? 406 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:47,282 Beats me. She seemed to Take the news very well. 407 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,217 What news? 408 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:52,187 I told her that larry didn't really Own the used car lot like he said, 409 00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:56,391 - that he just worked there. - now, why didn't I think Of telling her that? 410 00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:58,760 'cause you're not smart like me. 411 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,332 Poor larry, he's been jilted. 412 00:22:04,356 --> 00:22:06,502 Well, I guess, I gotta Be the one to tell him. 413 00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,492 It's gonna kill him. 414 00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:14,009 Larry, I don't know How to tell you this. 415 00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:17,679 - or where to tell you. - what? You mean He's gone too? 416 00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:19,715 What? 417 00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,884 "Dear jack, thanks For last night. 418 00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:24,887 The message got through. 419 00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:26,955 One girl isn't enough for me. 420 00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,290 P.S. Monday I'm Starting on the hs, 421 00:22:29,314 --> 00:22:31,248 Love larry." 422 00:22:32,718 --> 00:22:35,731 Nice wedding party You threw, helen. 423 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:37,766 You had to go for The expensive mints. 424 00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:39,668 Well, I didn't know. 425 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,737 Look at all the food, The cake, the minister, 426 00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:43,727 It's all money out the window. 427 00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:48,309 It doesn't have to Go to waste, stanley. 428 00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:51,046 What? 429 00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:54,082 You and I could get Married all over again. 430 00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:56,840 Are you kidding? Once is enough. 431 00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,188 Come on, mr. Roper, It'll be fun. 432 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,858 - yeah, come on, Mr. Roper, go for it. - yeah, mr. Roper. 433 00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,082 Yeah, go ahead And marry the girl. 434 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,151 I don't want to. 435 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:13,669 You're paying for it anyway. 436 00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:18,607 Oh well, okay. 437 00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:21,242 I'm just doing this For you, helen. 438 00:23:21,266 --> 00:23:23,244 - mrs. Roper, here. - oh, oh, good. 439 00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:25,747 - and chrissy and I Will be your bridesmaids. - oh... 440 00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:28,205 You could be the flower girl. 441 00:23:31,443 --> 00:23:34,756 "Dearly beloved, we are Gathered here to celebrate..." 442 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,125 Hold it, hold it. If we're Gonna get married again, 443 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,327 Let's do this right. 444 00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:55,844 Boy, mrs. Roper, that Was a wonderful wedding. 445 00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:58,580 - it sure was. - it's about time You kids made it legal. 446 00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:02,584 We all had our fun. The wedding's over. 447 00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:05,643 Oh, no it isn't, stanley. 448 00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:10,380 There's still the wedding night. 449 00:24:12,417 --> 00:24:16,999 We're gonna do exactly What we did the last time. 450 00:24:17,023 --> 00:24:19,267 Good idea, helen. 451 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:21,202 Really, stanley? 452 00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:24,427 Yeah, you go change. And I'll get the cards. 453 00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:52,800 Ritter's voice: three's Company was videotaped 454 00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:55,025 in front of a studio audience. 35423

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