All language subtitles for Threes Company S03E07 Chrissy and the Guru.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,523 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,625 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,627 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,296 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,931 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,200 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,202 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,204 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:31,040 - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:34,143 ♪ we've a lovable space That needs your face ♪ 11 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:37,046 ♪ three's company too ♪ 12 00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:39,916 ♪ you'll see that Life is a ball again ♪ 13 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:43,352 ♪ laughter is calling for you ♪ 14 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:46,456 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,147 ♪ three's company too ♪ 16 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,448 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 17 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,204 ♪ three's company too. ♪ 18 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,554 George washington Carver invented it, you know? 19 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,623 - no, I'm not kidding. - janet: would you Get serious? 20 00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,691 Jack: they're real good for you. 21 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,461 Chrissy? 22 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:29,847 Janet, you want to move to Another table? It's kinda drafty here. 23 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,404 Hey, what's the matter? 24 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,974 - why? - you look so depressed. 25 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,043 - I am. - hey, I know how To cheer you up. 26 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,045 - chrissy, there was this monkey... - jack, 27 00:01:43,069 --> 00:01:45,047 I don't want to be cheered up. 28 00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:48,106 - it will only Depress me. - oh... 29 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:55,124 Chrissy, this isn't like You... Being depressed. 30 00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:57,226 That's what's depressing me. 31 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,896 Oh... 32 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,465 - don't you two Understand? - huh-uh. 33 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:05,468 You both have good Moods, bad moods, 34 00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:08,270 In-between moods Like normal people. 35 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:11,140 I have to go through life all The time always being happy, 36 00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,142 - always being cheerful... - hold it, hold it. 37 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,144 You're unhappy right now. 38 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,380 - that doesn't count. - why? 39 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:21,350 Being unhappy because You're not unhappy 40 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:23,352 Is just as bad as being happy. 41 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,276 Oh... 42 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:32,161 Chrissy, chrissy, is there Anything that we could do to help? 43 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:35,732 You could tell me something Really gloomy and depressing. 44 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:39,269 Only if it'll make you happy. 45 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,439 Oh, it will. 46 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,778 All right, chrissy, There was a big accident... 47 00:02:44,802 --> 00:02:45,709 No, jack, please. 48 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,977 See, chrissy, if he tells You something gloomy, 49 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,780 - then I'll get depressed. - now wait a minute, Wait a minute. 50 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:54,250 How can I make you sad and Make you happy at the same... 51 00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,252 I don't know. 52 00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:59,356 I got it, I got it. Okay, chrissy, 53 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,124 You can listen, but don't look. 54 00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:04,627 And janet, come on, come on. 55 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,629 You look, but don't listen. 56 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,631 - can you hear me, chrissy? - yup. 57 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,568 Chrissy, there's This tragic story 58 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,593 - about these poor Frozen eskimos. - no. 59 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:21,210 And they went Fishing in their kayaks 60 00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:23,167 And a huge blizzard came up 61 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:30,553 And they were never Heard from since. 62 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:34,657 Now, have you also heard about The terrible monsoons in asia? 63 00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:37,226 - no. - they cause such flooding That inner mongolia 64 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,295 Is now outer mongolia. 65 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:42,899 And the supply ship sank. 66 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:46,124 I'm a walrus. 67 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:56,868 I was drinking a real tall coke. 68 00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:05,655 You really are a very Strange person, jack. 69 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,925 - can I look now? - yes, chrissy, yes. 70 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,927 - hi, kids. - hi, mrs. Roper. 71 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:13,596 Hi, I was just... I was just... Hi. 72 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,832 No, it's okay, jack, it Was really very funny. 73 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,001 Jack: thank you. 74 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,603 Here's an empty booth, Stanley. Let's go have a drink. 75 00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:22,560 I could use one. 76 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,476 First, I get that letter From internal revenue 77 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:31,114 This morning, and That... That jack. 78 00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:33,382 - couple of beers, jim. - oh, wait, wait. 79 00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,885 Stanley, wouldn't you like To splurge on something 80 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,655 A little special tonight? 81 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,924 Maybe you're right. Make mine a scotch. 82 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,694 Wait a minute. 83 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,729 Don't you ever think about me? 84 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:49,488 Yeah, but I came here To forget my troubles. 85 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,262 I was just kidding around. Tell him what you'd like. 86 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,977 I'd like a new husband, 87 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,945 But for now I'll take A gin on the rocks. 88 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,282 All right. 89 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,284 It's not fair, helen. 90 00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:10,754 I mean why is the Government auditing my taxes? 91 00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:14,724 We should have Stayed at home tonight. 92 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,826 What good would that do? 93 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:21,030 I could have taken your Mind off your problems. 94 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,900 How? 95 00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,904 When I read that letter From the government 96 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,307 I was so mad that I was shaking. 97 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:33,264 Well, that would Have been a start. 98 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,993 Peace and joy be with you. 99 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,296 Why thank you. Excuse me. 100 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,298 So, anyway chrissy, what... 101 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,767 Sorry, I don't have Any change. Excuse me. 102 00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,503 Hang on, hang on. 103 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,206 I just felt a quarter pop up. 104 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,208 Oh, look, here we go. 105 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,210 Here's some change. There's one for you 106 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,779 And for your tambourine Have a ball, okay? 107 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,415 May the essence of love 108 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,751 Permeate your heart. 109 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,720 Oh, that's very nice, very nice. 110 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:20,111 Now chrissy... 111 00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:25,495 Excuse me, excuse me, we're Not disturbing you are we? 112 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,497 - not at all. - oh. 113 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:31,768 We are all brothers and sisters. 114 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,937 Get a load of that, helen. 115 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,340 See what the world is coming to. 116 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,342 And you're our brother, too. 117 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:42,812 - aha. - that's all I need Is another relative. 118 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:47,416 We are disciples of Swami rama mageesh. 119 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,208 - oh... - oh, that's terrific. 120 00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:55,191 You see my religion doesn't Allow me to carry money. 121 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,481 I see. 122 00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:01,731 Would you help us to help others 123 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,000 With a small donation? 124 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,269 I'm terribly sorry, but I forgot To bring my money with me. 125 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,234 No, you didn't, janet. Don't you remember? 126 00:07:09,258 --> 00:07:10,106 Chrissy, chrissy. 127 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:13,643 - you gave it to me. We have $4 and... - janet: chrissy. 128 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,613 - 53¢. - chrissy, chrissy. 129 00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:19,382 - that's all the money That we have. - it is? 130 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:22,719 - yes. - your selflessness Will be its own reward. 131 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,987 Oh, that's wonderful. 132 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:29,558 All these people want Are other people's money. 133 00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:33,985 They're like uh... Like... Landlords? 134 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:42,538 Sisters. 135 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:46,109 - both disciples: Peace and love, swami. - peace and love, sisters. 136 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,110 - good heavens. - excuse me, 137 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,669 - I am rama mageesh. - congratulations. 138 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,984 Oh, wait, no, hey, Yeah. Wait, excuse me, 139 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:58,287 This young lady here She just gave all... 140 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,890 She donated all of our Money to your cause there 141 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,326 And now we don't have any Money to pay our bill with. 142 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,294 Yeah, but don't Worry, we know that 143 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,730 "Selflessness is Its own reward." 144 00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:11,200 Please, take your money back. 145 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:14,136 Sisters, there are other Souls to be enlightened. 146 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,540 Peace and joy be With you forever. 147 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:21,143 That was a very nice Thing to do, mr. Rama. 148 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,346 Oh my child, when self-sacrifice Ceases to involve the self, 149 00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:26,348 It is no longer holy. 150 00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,384 Oh, that's so beautiful. 151 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,241 What does he mean? 152 00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:36,692 It means you shouldn't give the Shirt off of somebody else's back. 153 00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:39,495 Yes, especially to those Who don't even wear a shirt. 154 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:47,870 A good sense of humor is Necessary for good mental health. 155 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:49,860 - so keep trying. - okay. 156 00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:56,645 Jack, it is not nice to make fun Of the way a person is dressed. 157 00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,581 - thank you, my child. - maybe he doesn't know Any better. 158 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,787 - chrissy, chrissy... - no, no, no, don't stop her. 159 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:08,224 She speaks her mind. She's Honest and pure of heart. 160 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,226 A child of nature. 161 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,895 And nature is the Path to wisdom. 162 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:17,199 And wisdom is the Source of true happiness. 163 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,536 You mean I'm happy, Because I'm wise? 164 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,705 What more can I say? 165 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,541 Why didn't you think of that? 166 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,576 - hey, would you Like to sit down? - oh no... 167 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,980 - wait, we're sort of... - thank you, my child, yes. 168 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,937 So, mr. Rama... 169 00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:37,086 - hi, janet. - hi, jack. 170 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,989 - is chrissy home? - no, no, she went To see that guru 171 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,991 That we met the other night. 172 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:45,394 You mean that guy who kept saying "Peace and love, peace and love"? 173 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,830 - that's the one. - boy, that chant Got on my nerves. 174 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:50,233 Well, jack, if you're Gonna meet a guru, 175 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,168 That's the chance You gotta take. 176 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:55,304 Not bad. 177 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,306 What's chrissy Doing with this guru? 178 00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,843 Oh, I wish you hadn't asked. She went to pay him back. 179 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,679 - for what? - the drinks. 180 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,815 - janet, that Was our money! - I know, I know, 181 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,450 But chrissy thought it would Be the honest thing to do. 182 00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:11,320 What? To give an obvious Con artist our money? 183 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,723 - how do you know that? - janet, all you have to Do is read the papers. 184 00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:17,360 These groups are all over Town trying to turn a fast buck. 185 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,795 Haven't you seen them on The beach shaking their cans? 186 00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:22,031 - what? - well, they don't all Use tambourines. 187 00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:23,687 Oh... 188 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,203 - hi. - hey, chrissy. 189 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:30,973 Let me ask you something. Did that Indian-giver really take his money back? 190 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,975 Jack, that's uncalled for. 191 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,777 What a terrible way to Talk about rama mageesh. 192 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,913 - I just want to find out... - you should never joke 193 00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,716 About things you don't understand Until you understand them. 194 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:43,152 And even then you Shouldn't joke about them, 195 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:46,310 Because you don't Understand. Understand? 196 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,894 - nice going. - what did I do? 197 00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:54,397 Oh jack, come on, you know How sensitive chrissy is. 198 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:57,300 Listen, janet, I have a Right to speak my mind, 199 00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:00,502 - don't I? - yes, you do, but Would you do me a favor? 200 00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:03,646 Next time you want to speak your Own mind, keep your mouth shut. 201 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:08,244 - all right, okay. - ha ha ha ha, laugh. Ha ha ha, joke. 202 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,579 - I guess You're right. - yeah. 203 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,049 We've both seen Chrissy like this before, 204 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,418 - haven't we? A little strange. - a little? 205 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,376 - then she gets Over it, doesn't she? - yeah, sure. 206 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,119 Peace and love be with you. 207 00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:33,257 Joke over. 208 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,017 Okay, chrissy, you've Had your little joke. 209 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,486 Now, why don't you put Those sheets back on the bed? 210 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:53,122 - jack! - I think you should Read this. 211 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,891 - what is it? - "Pearls of the profound." 212 00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:58,361 It is the brilliant thoughts Of the rama mageesh. 213 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,297 Oh I see, it's one of those Books full of blank pages, huh? 214 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,432 It will open your mind. 215 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,035 You think I have a Closed mind, moi? 216 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,037 Yes. 217 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,207 And do you know what happens to A man who gropes in the darkness? 218 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,275 He gets kicked out by the usher? 219 00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:16,479 Okay, okay, all right. 220 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,180 I wish I had time to Make you understand, 221 00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:19,581 But I don't. I have to go out. 222 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:22,784 - wait. - you gonna be going out Dressed like that? 223 00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,920 I mean, suppose Somebody sees you. 224 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:27,156 That's the whole idea. 225 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,192 See, I'll be going door to door Spreading the rama's word... 226 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:34,363 Peace and love, joy and Happiness, something else... 227 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:37,966 Trick-or-treat? 228 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,202 It just so happens That the rama is building 229 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:43,139 - a brand new commune Up at big sur. - at big sur? 230 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,574 - yeah. - he's gonna be building A commune up there? 231 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,443 That's over 300 miles away. 232 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,678 So, he'll be spending a lot Of his time up north then? 233 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,547 - that's nice. - yeah. But don't worry... 234 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,715 I'll give you plenty of time To find a new roommate. 235 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:56,986 - a new roommate? - oh, well, yeah. 236 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,956 My place is going to be With the rama at big sur. 237 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,325 - janet: chrissy... - peace and love Be with you. 238 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,482 - chrissy... - what? 239 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,831 Do you believe that? I don't believe that. 240 00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:12,535 Do you believe that? Janet, You weren't much help either. 241 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:16,339 - you're just standing there. - jack, I have been thinking About this. 242 00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,374 I think that if I were chrissy, 243 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,343 I would want my Friends to understand. 244 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,279 You mean you would Let her go up to big sur? 245 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,281 - I'm not Happy about it. - aha! 246 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,767 I'll really miss her. But We should not interfere. 247 00:13:27,791 --> 00:13:28,317 Aha! Aha! 248 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,853 Hold it, strike that last aha. 249 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:34,891 I cannot stand by and watch Her run off with some crackpot. 250 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:37,260 - will you just calm down? - what are you talking about? 251 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:40,662 Okay, are you angry because he Made you look foolish the other night? 252 00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:44,289 Hey, janet, I don't need any fake Guru to make me look foolish. 253 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,442 Helen, I finally figured it out. 254 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,644 It's gonna be a tight Squeeze, but we can make it. 255 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:59,215 We're gonna have to cut out a Few unnecessary things like... 256 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:03,908 Entertainment, your allowance. 257 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,556 You hear me, helen? 258 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,559 - what? - I said We're gonna make it. 259 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,751 Oh, stanley! You mean it? 260 00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,200 Of course I mean it, but You're gonna have to help. 261 00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,803 I'll help, I'll help! 262 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,828 - I'll get it. - no, let it ring. Let it ring. 263 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,177 Peace and love be with you. 264 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:31,013 Chrissy, if you really Mean that, come back later. 265 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,917 No, I got it. Come on in. We're not doing anything. 266 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:39,243 Mr. Roper, would like to see poverty Eliminated from the face of the earth? 267 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,658 I think so. 268 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:46,795 Would you like to see the Sick cured and the hungry fed? 269 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,031 I think so. 270 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,767 Then I know you'd like To make a small donation. 271 00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,236 I don't think so. 272 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,538 Let me ask you something. What are you doing? 273 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,941 Rama mageesh opened my eyes. 274 00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:02,411 Was that before or after You picked out this outfit? 275 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,947 Mr. Roper, your donations Are deductible, you know? 276 00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:07,350 Yeah, for me, but it's Income for the church. 277 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,352 Then you'll have To pay the taxes. 278 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,154 Oh, I never thought of that. 279 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:15,257 Churches don't Have to pay taxes. 280 00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:17,393 They don't? 281 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,496 I wish I could turn this Building into a church. 282 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,498 The government Would never believe it. 283 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:26,357 Have them check with me. I'll Swear you live the life of a monk. 284 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:30,128 A small donation? 285 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,577 Will you just stop sitting There stuffing your face? 286 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,747 Don't you understand? We're about to lose chrissy. 287 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,849 I know that, jack. 288 00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,918 - what are we gonna Do about it? - nothing. 289 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,821 - it's her business. - that's just great. That's just dandy. 290 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:48,057 That's a great attitude. 291 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,014 Peace and love be with you. 292 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,629 Why is it every time I hear someone say 293 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,665 "Peace and love be with You" it makes me mad? 294 00:15:56,689 --> 00:16:00,402 Will you please just relax? 295 00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:03,239 - hi, chrissy. - hi. 296 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,341 - where you been? - to the bank. 297 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:08,285 I took out all my money. $327. 298 00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:11,880 What for? 299 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,749 I was talking to The rama and he said 300 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,917 The money would do more Good for my inner self at big sur 301 00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:17,586 Than for my outer Self at the bank. 302 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,622 - oh. - what do you think Of your swami now? 303 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,124 - we better Do something. Think. - that's what I've... 304 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,393 - chrissy, Hang on a second. - chrissy. 305 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,428 Chrissy, you know, 306 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:29,865 I've been thinking a lot about What you've been saying, you know? 307 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,900 And suddenly... Peace And joy be with you. 308 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:35,271 Suddenly, it was as If a light bulb... Foop... 309 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,273 Went on inside my little head. 310 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,409 Oh, jack, oh, jack, that's exactly How it was for me... Exactly. 311 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,844 - really? Really? But then... - yes. 312 00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:45,614 Suddenly it was like The light went out again. 313 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:49,351 Sort of like the devil Came in and pulled the plug. 314 00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:52,555 - oh, jack. - yeah, I know, But then, but then, 315 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,723 I need someone to talk to. 316 00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,059 You know, someone Who's a good teacher. 317 00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,528 Someone who can Answer all my questions. 318 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:02,264 Someone who can switch The light on again. What? 319 00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,733 - rama mageesh. Rama mageesh. - pardon me? 320 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,469 Oh chrissy, why Didn't I think of that? 321 00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:09,505 Rama is a terrific teacher. 322 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,874 Maybe I'll bump into him Someday, I don't know. 323 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:15,777 I know, I know, I'll Get him to come here. 324 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:18,247 Oh chrissy, that's a great idea. 325 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:21,105 You've done it again. 326 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,390 We must have Knowledge of the self. 327 00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,927 Now parts of the Body are not the self. 328 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,996 Parts of the body put together 329 00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:37,032 Are not the self. 330 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:41,259 Only the self is the self. 331 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:47,097 You see how simple it is? 332 00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,379 Rama. 333 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,948 I'm still not sure, you know? 334 00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:56,452 I... I... I feel a little strange Talking about myself 335 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:59,455 With other selves in the room. You know what I'm talking about? 336 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:02,725 Jack's right, the self Is a very personal thing. 337 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,127 Janet and I will leave and You two can talk, okay? 338 00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,951 - come on, janet. - oh chrissy, what A good idea. 339 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:22,478 Well... - you have some questions. - yes. 340 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,413 What are you trying to pull? 341 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,214 You may have conned chrissy, 342 00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,684 But to me you're nothing But a phony and a fraud 343 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,119 Ripping off people's money By messing up their minds. 344 00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:33,322 - don't try to deny it. - I don't deny it. I admit it. 345 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,357 I don't care what you Admit, you say right... 346 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:38,327 - pardon me? - it's true. Every bit of it. 347 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,829 - it is? - mm-hmm. 348 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,299 In that case, I think it's Time she learned the truth. 349 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,700 Chrissy! 350 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,835 Good, whose truth do You think she will believe? 351 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,971 Your truth or mine? 352 00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:55,344 Well, how did it go out here. 353 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,913 Ducky, just ducky. 354 00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:01,450 ramar, I've underestimated you. 355 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,052 Come, janet, I need to Meditate at the regal beagle. 356 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,354 - why at the regal beagle? - I also need a drink. 357 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,312 Oh... 358 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,595 I think his mind is Starting to open. 359 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,231 - what could be More beautiful? - the money. 360 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:18,033 - did you get the money? - oh, yeah. 361 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,436 Jack was really affected, What did you tell him? 362 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:23,572 Merely... The truth. 363 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,742 My father always says the Truth shall set you free. 364 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,177 Ah, you father is a wise man. 365 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,046 And he has a wise daughter, 366 00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:33,671 Who is also Beautiful, delectable 367 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:37,786 And divinely sensuous. 368 00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:41,959 Oh... You never said Those things before. 369 00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:46,617 We've never been alone before. 370 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:58,006 Do you realize what we're doing? 371 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,442 - trust me. - first take your hand Off me. 372 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,433 I'm trying to help you up. 373 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,516 Then I would rather You grab my arm. 374 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,619 Oh, I'm sorry it's So dark out here. 375 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:15,491 Shh... Relax. Relax, chrissy. 376 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,660 You've got to feel natural. 377 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:20,195 You've got to be free. 378 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,031 Let me help you open yourself. 379 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:27,803 Ah... Ah... - do you feel it? - yeah. 380 00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,506 Oh, yeah, I can feel it. 381 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:33,141 - my mind is opening. - yes. 382 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:36,111 - my heart is opening. - yes. 383 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,113 - rama? - yes? 384 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,103 My blouse is opening. 385 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,308 - jack. - come on. 386 00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,556 - foot. My foot. - what? Oh... 387 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,858 I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. 388 00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,294 - shh... - I don't know how I let You talk me into this. 389 00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,530 - I just want to see What they're up to. - oh jack, 390 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,898 But spying on people, how Could you stoop so low? 391 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,056 - it's the best way To spy. - oh... 392 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:04,139 But I thought you said you Never think of physical love? 393 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,141 I don't. 394 00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,532 Then why is your Hand on my knee? 395 00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:13,248 You see how I never think of it. 396 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:17,118 - this is awful, jack... - look, just look. 397 00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:20,088 - will you look? - this is perfectly... Oh my god. 398 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,958 Without the wind To fan the flame, 399 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:25,093 There would be no fire. 400 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:28,397 Mr. Rama, wouldn't You rather meditate? 401 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:32,067 Oh, if you could see my heart, You would see it as burning, 402 00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:34,370 - burning... - mr. Rama? 403 00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:37,339 - mr. Rama? - hold it right there, Buster. 404 00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:40,631 - what are you doing here? - better question. What Are you doing there? 405 00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:44,613 I was merely testing chrissy. 406 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,337 Testing? Looked more like You were taking inventory. 407 00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:50,819 I am endeavoring to ascertain 408 00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:54,523 Whether chrissy can resist All temptations of the flesh. 409 00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:57,092 Congratulations, my dear, You have passed the test. 410 00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:59,862 you are a worthy Disciple of rama mageesh. 411 00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:01,997 We will discuss this further 412 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:05,401 In the serenity of our New home in big sur. 413 00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:09,326 Until then, may peace and Joy be with you forever. 414 00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:17,301 No, jack, there's a better way? 415 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:22,384 Hey, chrissy, I guess I Had him pegged all wrong. 416 00:22:22,408 --> 00:22:24,986 I'm sorry, he's one of The good guys after all. 417 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,611 Yeah, right, he was Just testing you, chrissy. 418 00:22:29,048 --> 00:22:30,981 Boy, you guys are dumb. 419 00:22:34,386 --> 00:22:37,999 - that fake Was coming onto me. - you knew that? 420 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:41,036 Janet, those weren't his knees. 421 00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:44,205 He was praying on. 422 00:22:44,229 --> 00:22:47,476 Chrissy, that was sort of An expensive lesson, wasn't it? 423 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,578 It cost you your $327. 424 00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:51,613 It could have cost her A little more than that. 425 00:22:51,637 --> 00:22:54,783 - that fink was getting Pretty close in here. - that was okay. 426 00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:57,486 I was trying to get him as Close to me as I possibly could. 427 00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,187 Huh? 428 00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:01,824 It was the only way I Could get my money back. 429 00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:05,549 - that's the $300? Chrissy! - chrissy! 430 00:23:10,923 --> 00:23:12,734 Oh... 431 00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:14,937 But listen, now that you Have your money back, 432 00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:17,806 I suggest you put it in a safe Place before somebody else gets it. 433 00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:19,875 - yeah. - where? 434 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:23,111 - very good. - that's the first place They'd look. 435 00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:25,146 - here. - hey. 436 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:27,304 - just... Let me... - hey there, jerky. 437 00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:38,794 Hello? 438 00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:41,697 I'm fine. 439 00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:44,032 You're where? Big sur? 440 00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:47,669 - you want me to come up? - hold it right there, Chrissy. 441 00:23:47,693 --> 00:23:49,938 - give me that phone. Listen, buster, - jack... 442 00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:52,073 Chrissy's not interested In your mumbo-jumbo. 443 00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:54,342 - jack, don't. - she doesn't care What you have to say. 444 00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:55,978 Let me handle This. Let me... Huh? 445 00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:58,947 Hey, I don't care what kind of Sermon it is you're preaching, 446 00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:00,949 No, no, listen. Chrissy Has found you out 447 00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:03,485 For the big phony Fathead you really are. 448 00:24:03,509 --> 00:24:05,654 Huh? Pardon me? What? 449 00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:07,998 Oh chrissy, your father Wants to talk to you again. 450 00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:12,628 Tell him I said hi. 451 00:24:12,652 --> 00:24:15,853 Dad, that was jack. 452 00:24:42,014 --> 00:24:44,392 Ritter's voice: "Three's Company" was videotaped 453 00:24:44,416 --> 00:24:46,349 in front of a studio audience. 35557

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