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1
00:00:08,043 --> 00:00:11,011
Come and knock on our door
2
00:00:11,046 --> 00:00:14,014
we've been waiting for you
3
00:00:14,049 --> 00:00:16,516
where the kisses are hers
and hers and his
4
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,520
three's company too
5
00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:23,523
come and dance on our floor
6
00:00:23,558 --> 00:00:26,526
take a step that is new
7
00:00:26,561 --> 00:00:29,029
we've a lovable space
that needs your face
8
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,532
three's company too
9
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,035
you'll see that life
is a ball again
10
00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:39,039
laughter is calling for you
11
00:00:39,074 --> 00:00:41,541
down at our rendezvous
12
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,043
three's company too
13
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,051
be quiet helen,
you're going to wake karen.
14
00:00:54,589 --> 00:00:58,058
Filing my nails is going
to wake up your niece?
15
00:00:58,093 --> 00:00:59,559
It's not the filing,
it's the breaking.
16
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,561
Every time you break a nail
you swear loud enough
17
00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:04,064
to wake the dead.
18
00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:07,567
Oh, so that's what got you up.
19
00:01:07,602 --> 00:01:09,069
Just hold it down, will ya?
20
00:01:09,104 --> 00:01:10,570
I mean she flew in
from new york and she's tired.
21
00:01:10,605 --> 00:01:12,072
You've heard of jet lag,
haven't you?
22
00:01:12,107 --> 00:01:13,573
Heard of it?
23
00:01:13,608 --> 00:01:15,075
I married it.
24
00:01:17,612 --> 00:01:20,580
She's trying to adjust
to a new time zone.
25
00:01:20,615 --> 00:01:24,084
She's trying to adjust
to living the life of a nun.
26
00:01:26,121 --> 00:01:27,587
What's that supposed to mean?
27
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,590
You never let her
out of your sight.
28
00:01:30,625 --> 00:01:33,593
You're more like her jailer
than her uncle.
29
00:01:33,628 --> 00:01:36,096
That's ridiculous.
She's having a good time.
30
00:01:36,131 --> 00:01:38,598
She's having a boring time.
31
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,601
Boringhow can you say that?
32
00:01:41,636 --> 00:01:43,103
Didn't i take her to disneyland
33
00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:47,107
didn't i take her to the museum
34
00:01:47,142 --> 00:01:48,108
didn't i walk out to the en
d of the pier with her?
35
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,113
Didn't i tell her every night
about my experiences in the war?
36
00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:59,119
You call that boring, huh?
37
00:01:59,154 --> 00:02:00,120
Helen?
38
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,623
Helen?
39
00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:08,128
Oh, sorry stanley,
i must've drifted off.
40
00:02:08,163 --> 00:02:10,130
Look, i promised my brother that
i'd take good care of her
41
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,132
and that's just what i'm doing
42
00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:14,134
oh, well, she ought to be out
having some fun
43
00:02:14,169 --> 00:02:16,636
with people her own age.
44
00:02:16,671 --> 00:02:17,637
She ought to be out dating.
45
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,139
Dating?
46
00:02:19,174 --> 00:02:21,641
In this city?
47
00:02:21,676 --> 00:02:25,645
It's crawling with freaks and-
and weirdos and-and perverts.
48
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,148
Oh, i wasn't talking
about your friends stanley.
49
00:02:30,685 --> 00:02:32,152
I just hope you don't make
a crack like that in front
50
00:02:32,187 --> 00:02:34,654
of karen, you'll give her the
wrong idea of her uncle.
51
00:02:34,689 --> 00:02:36,656
Oh, i think she has
the right idea of you.
52
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,160
I hope so.
53
00:02:40,195 --> 00:02:40,660
Oh!
54
00:02:40,695 --> 00:02:42,162
Whatwhat?
55
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,167
Why don't you let her
meet the kids upstairs?
56
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,668
You mean the andrews sisters?
57
00:02:48,703 --> 00:02:52,572
Andrews sisters?
58
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:55,575
Yeah, patty, maxine,
and tinkerbell.
59
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,581
Oh, of course,
you're right, stanley.
60
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:04,584
Oh, i forgot.
61
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:08,087
She'd never be interested
in a fella like jack.
62
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:10,590
You mean he would never
be interested in any girl.
63
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,092
I don't understand
people like jack.
64
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,094
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
65
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,597
For once in your life,
you got a smart idea.
66
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,599
We should put this date down
on the calendar.
67
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,100
When she gets up
and gets dressed,
68
00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:23,603
i'm going to go talk to jac
k about taking her out.
69
00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:26,105
I mean dating him is
as safe as sending her out
70
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:27,607
in an armored truck.
71
00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:39,619
E. Hey, i got janet 's birthday cak
72
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,120
oh, good.
73
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,122
Where's the birthday girl
74
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:45,124
oh, she's in the kitchen keepin
an eye on your birthday dinner.
75
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:47,627
And who's keeping an eye on her
76
00:03:58,137 --> 00:04:01,140
oh, you shouldn't
sneak up like that.
77
00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:02,141
And you shouldn't
turn around like that
78
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:03,643
when i'm sneaking up like that.
79
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:06,145
I was going to give you
a big surprise birthday kiss.
80
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,147
Well, why did you have
to sneak up?
81
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:09,148
What do you want me to do?
82
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:10,149
Phone for an appointment?
83
00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:12,151
No.
84
00:04:12,186 --> 00:04:14,654
Okay, you can kiss me now.
85
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:16,656
No, the moment's ruined.
86
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,160
Maybe i'll go and sneak u
p and surprise chrissy.
87
00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:23,162
It's not her birthday
till january.
88
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:24,664
Why wait till the last minute?
89
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,666
Jack.
90
00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:28,167
I want my birthday kiss.
91
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:30,670
All right.
92
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,182
Surprise.
93
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:45,685
Happy birthday
94
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,686
no, you.
95
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:47,186
T.
Righ
96
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:47,687
happy birthday.
97
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:50,189
Ve.
You-you shouldn't ha
98
00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,692
my pleasure.
99
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,193
It. Oh, oh, gee, we're stuck, wa
100
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:57,697
oh, well, there's no sens
in wasting all this closeness.
101
00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,699
Well, let's just save tha
t for next year.
102
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:00,199
Just get my chain unstuck
103
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:01,701
i got it.
104
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:02,702
Al. Oh, be careful, it's very speci
105
00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:03,703
why?
106
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:06,205
My grandmother gave it to me.
107
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,207
It used to have a beautiful
cameo hanging from it.
108
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:09,208
Oh, did you lose it?
109
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:10,710
No, i hocked it.
110
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:15,615
It was about three months ago,
we needed rent money.
111
00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:17,617
Uh, jack, could i see you
for a minute?
112
00:05:17,652 --> 00:05:19,619
Re.
Su
113
00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:21,621
sorry, kid, you had your chance.
114
00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:31,130
"Happy birthday jimmy?"
115
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,633
Who is jimmy?
116
00:05:33,668 --> 00:05:34,634
I don't know.
117
00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:36,636
Some guy who didn't
pick up his cake.
118
00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:42,642
That-that's why i got
it at half-price.
119
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:45,645
You can't give janet a jimm
y cake, she might notice.
120
00:05:47,682 --> 00:05:49,148
Chrissy, it's easily fixed.
121
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,150
All i have to do
is scrape off the "immy,"
122
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,152
so it reads happy birthday "j,"
which is even better,
123
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,153
has that informal touch.
124
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:58,157
Where you going?
125
00:05:58,192 --> 00:05:59,659
Into the kitchen
to fix the cake.
126
00:05:59,694 --> 00:06:02,161
But what about janet?
127
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,162
I like her the way she is,
i'll just fix the cake.
128
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,167
What i mean is
what if she sees it?
129
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:11,671
It'll spoil the whole surprise.
130
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:16,175
Chrissy, she knows
it's her birthday.
131
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,678
She knows i'm cooking
a special dinner to celebrate.
132
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,180
She even told me
where to buy the cake.
133
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,682
Well, that's what i mean.
134
00:06:22,717 --> 00:06:24,684
One more hint and she's going
to know for sure.
135
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,691
Okay, i'll do it later.
136
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:35,194
What did you get janet
for her birthday?
137
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:37,196
Oh, i got her a terrific scarf.
138
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,198
Oh, that's nice.
139
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,200
Well, it's not only pretty,
it's practical.
140
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:42,702
It goes with all my outfits too.
141
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,707
I wish i could raise some money
to get janet a present.
142
00:06:49,744 --> 00:06:53,212
Oh, you're cooking dinner
, that's enough.
143
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:56,215
Hi.
144
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,717
E? Uh, would you excuse us, pleas
145
00:06:57,752 --> 00:06:59,218
do you want to be alone?
146
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:10,229
No, i want to talk to jack.
147
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,230
It'll just be a minute.
148
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,733
Okay.
149
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:23,242
Do you want to sit down?
150
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,753
Do you, uh, enjoy being here?
151
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:34,754
U?
You mean with yo
152
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,763
t?
No, l-i mean in this apartmen
153
00:07:43,798 --> 00:07:45,765
yeah, it's fine.
154
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,768
That-that's good.
155
00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:50,770
You don't mind if i'm
a little nosy, do you?
156
00:07:50,805 --> 00:07:52,271
Well, we're getting used to it.
157
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,775
I was just wondering.
158
00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:57,276
Did you ever take out
a girl before?
159
00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:58,778
Before what?
160
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,284
I mean it's not against the
rules for you fellas, is it?
161
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:08,788
Rules?
162
00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:10,790
I mean because, well, like,
i go out with other guys.
163
00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:12,291
You do
164
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,797
no, you know what i mean.
165
00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:20,299
I go bowling
or go to a ball game.
166
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:23,803
Oh, well, i could do
that with a girl, i guess.
167
00:08:23,838 --> 00:08:26,305
That's terrific.
168
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:27,807
Because i wouldn't want
you to do anything
169
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:29,308
that would go against
your religion.
170
00:08:31,846 --> 00:08:34,313
I'm not sure i'm following you
171
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,816
well, see, we have this niece
visiting us and mrs. Roper
172
00:08:36,851 --> 00:08:38,317
and i were just wondering if-
if it would be all right
173
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,820
if she went out
with you tonight?
174
00:08:40,855 --> 00:08:42,822
Oh, you want me to go out
with your niece?
175
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:45,324
Yeah, but you don't have to go
anywhere where you might
176
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,826
bump into some of your friends.
177
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:50,329
Oh, well, thank you.
178
00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:00,439
Well, you could
take her dancing.
179
00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:01,941
Dancing?
180
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:03,943
Yeah, the way the kids
dance nowadays,
181
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:04,443
you don't even
have to touch her.
182
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,446
Mr. Roper, i'd be happy
to take out your niece.
183
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:08,447
Wonderful.
184
00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:09,949
But i can't.
185
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:10,449
Today is janet's birthday and i
don't want to miss that.
186
00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:11,951
We got a cake.
187
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:12,952
We're planning dinner
and everything.
188
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:13,452
Oh, well-
189
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,956
sorry.
190
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,457
Could you put off
the birthday until tomorrow?
191
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:20,459
I'm sorry, but th
anks for asking
192
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:21,961
d.
I'm very flattere
193
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:22,461
yeah, i knew you would be.
194
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:38,477
Of course, of course,
i wouldn't want you
195
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:40,479
to do anything
against your religion.
196
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:41,480
Oh, you heard?
197
00:09:41,515 --> 00:09:42,481
Well, of course we did.
198
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:43,482
We were eavesdropping.
199
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:48,487
I think it is very noble of you
to turn him down on my account.
200
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:50,489
Well, it wasn't quite
as noble as you think.
201
00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:51,991
Why not?
202
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,993
Suddenly i got a vision of what
roper's niece would look like.
203
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,497
Oh, yeah, imagine roper's
face on a girl.
204
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:05,504
Imagine roper's body on a girl.
205
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,506
Well, i still think
it was really nice of you
206
00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:09,008
to stay for my birthday.
207
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,509
Hey, i wouldn't miss
your birthday for anything.
208
00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:12,511
What do you think i am?
Some kind of a fink?
209
00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:16,015
Ahem, jack, uh, don't you have
something to do?
210
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,516
Hum?
211
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:20,519
Like pick up the wine
for the you know what?
212
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:22,521
You mean the wine
for my surprise birthday party?
213
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,523
Oh, you guessed.
214
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,027
The surprise is, it's
going to be beer.
215
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:30,529
In.
Hi aga
216
00:10:30,564 --> 00:10:32,031
mr. Roper,
i thought i told you-
217
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:34,033
oh, i thought that you might
want to meet my niece anyway.
218
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:36,035
Uh, karen?
219
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,537
Want to come in
and say hello to jack.
220
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:42,541
Hi.
221
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:50,049
Whatoh, hi, hi.
222
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,050
And this is chrissy and janet.
223
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:52,051
Hi.
224
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:54,053
Hello.
225
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:54,553
Jack?
226
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,055
Hi.
227
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,056
Can i talk with you?
228
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,558
Oh, sure.
229
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:01,560
Excuse me, uh, your uncle
wants to talk to me
230
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:03,062
for a minute,
i'll be right back.
231
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,068
Here.
232
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:10,069
What's this
233
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:10,569
fifty bucks.
234
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,071
For me
235
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:13,572
i know it goes
against your grain,
236
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,574
but you've got to do me
a favor and take her out.
237
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:17,076
Fifty bucks?
238
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,577
Yeah, i'll lend you my car.
239
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:20,079
I mean, anything to get
mrs. Roper off my back.
240
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,580
Will you do it?
241
00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:24,083
S.
Oh, ye
242
00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:27,086
uncle stanley and aunt helen
have been very nice,
243
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,588
only i think my uncle must have
had an accident or something.
244
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:30,589
Oh?
245
00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:31,590
Yeah.
246
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,591
He can't
seem to remember anything
247
00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:34,093
that's happened since the war.
248
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:38,597
Karen?
249
00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:40,099
I think jack here wants
to ask you something.
250
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:43,102
Oh, he can ask me anything.
251
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,604
Uh, yeah, uh, karen,
how would you like me
252
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:47,606
to show you the town tonight?
253
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:49,108
Oh, i'd love it.
254
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:50,109
Okay, let's go. See ya.
255
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:52,611
Wait a minute.
256
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:55,114
What about the party?
257
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,615
Just take the dinner
out of the stove in 20 minutes.
258
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:58,117
Well-?
259
00:11:58,152 --> 00:11:58,617
I'll be back in time for
the party, bye-bye.
260
00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:00,619
Bye.
261
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,122
Don't be late.
262
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,124
And jack's really a nice person
263
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,631
nice fink.
264
00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:21,640
Cheers
265
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:23,142
cheers.
266
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,150
That wasn't a nice thing
to do to jack's hat.
267
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,152
You're right.
268
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:37,156
I should've waited
till his head was in it.
269
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:39,658
I don't understand,
he said he'd be back in time.
270
00:12:39,693 --> 00:12:41,160
Something must've
happened to him.
271
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,162
Someonehappened to him.
272
00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:44,663
Someone with big
blue eyes and boo-
273
00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:45,664
okay, okay.
274
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:55,174
You know, chrissy, there was
something about that karen
275
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:58,177
that i didn't like.
276
00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,679
She's a very beautiful girl
277
00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:01,680
that was it.
278
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:06,185
Do you think jack noticed?
279
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,186
Noticed?
280
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:10,189
Uh, he notices anything female.
281
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,690
I think his head
is built on a swivel.
282
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:17,696
You know wha
t the trouble is
283
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:19,198
hum?
284
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:20,699
We're jealous.
285
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:22,701
Uh-je-jealous?
286
00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:23,702
Of jack?
287
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:27,706
I'm not jealous.
288
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:30,209
I'm mad- mad that he sto
od us up on my birthday.
289
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,711
Now, we don't own him janet
290
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,213
remember, he's just
a third of the rent.
291
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,214
Yeah.
292
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:35,714
Ok.
And a great co
293
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:36,715
yeah.
294
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,217
And a watchdog
295
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,718
well, then he should be here
watching me blow out my candles.
296
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:50,729
Chrissy, do you dig him?
297
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,231
He's okay.
298
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,733
No.
299
00:13:54,768 --> 00:14:00,239
No, i mean, if he wasn't living
here, would you-
300
00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:03,242
would i what?
301
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:04,743
You know.
302
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,748
Jack?
303
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:12,751
Yeah.
304
00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:13,752
U?
Would yo
305
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:15,254
i asked you first.
306
00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:20,759
Would you?
307
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:21,760
Pe.
No
308
00:14:21,795 --> 00:14:24,263
oh.
309
00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:25,764
Not unless
he asked me to.
310
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:29,268
Well, you know me janet.
311
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,769
I just hate to be rude.
312
00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:38,777
You're right anyway,
we don't own him.
313
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:42,281
E he's got his own life to
lead and let's just cut that cak
314
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:43,782
and let's hope his leg
heals very quickly.
315
00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,784
His leg?
316
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,286
Yeah, the one
i'm going to break.
317
00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:02,301
Stanley, will you stop
that pacing and come to bed?
318
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,803
I'm not sleepy.
319
00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:06,305
That's the best time
to come to bed.
320
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:10,809
Helen, i'm worried.
321
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:13,312
It's almost midnight
and my niece isn't back yet
322
00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,314
well, she's probably
having a good time,
323
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,816
that's what you wanted,
isn't it?
324
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:20,319
It's not that,
and my car's been overheating
325
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,821
and i just don't want the
m to go too far.
326
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:25,824
You don't have to worry,
stanley, she's with jack.
327
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:28,327
Remember
328
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,328
you know, you're right.
329
00:15:30,829 --> 00:15:31,330
How far can they go?
330
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:35,834
Come to bed.
331
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:36,835
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
332
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,837
I just had a thought.
333
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:42,341
Well, there's a first tim
e for everything.
334
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:46,345
Helen, guys like jack,
is it possible they've got some
335
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:50,349
normalness left over in them
that could come out at any time?
336
00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:53,352
Ey.
I don't know, stanl
337
00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:55,854
i mean, my niece is a beautiful
girl, he could convert.
338
00:15:57,891 --> 00:15:58,857
Don't worry
339
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:02,861
ge. I don't think j ack will ever chan
340
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:03,862
you're not just saying that
to make me feel better, are you?
341
00:16:03,897 --> 00:16:05,864
No, stanley.
342
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,367
Because you read about it
in the papers all the time,
343
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:11,370
about people are getting changed
from men to women
344
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:13,872
and vice-versa.
345
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:15,874
How do they do it, helen?
346
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:18,377
They have an operation.
347
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:24,383
I know they have an operation,
but how do they do it?
348
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,385
I can see them
taking things off
349
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:27,886
but how do they put them on?
350
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:35,394
Scotch tape.
351
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,405
Aren't you coming in?
352
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,906
Uh, well, it's kinda late
, i don't think i should.
353
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:50,909
Oh, come on, just for a beer.
354
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:53,912
Um, okay.
355
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,414
One fast beer.
356
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,316
It doesn't have to be that fast
357
00:16:59,818 --> 00:17:01,820
i feel a little uneasy
about your uncle roper.
358
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,323
Oh, don't worry about him
359
00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:06,325
my aunt helen says he
sleeps through everything.
360
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,349
Here's your beer.
361
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:36,255
Jack.
362
00:17:36,290 --> 00:17:38,657
You have been annoying
me all evening.
363
00:17:38,692 --> 00:17:40,659
Annoying you how?
364
00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:41,660
I thought i'd been behaving
like a perfect gentleman.
365
00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:44,163
That's how.
366
00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:46,665
I mean, there we were,
stuck on the freeway for hours
367
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,167
and the only thing you fiddled
with was the radiator.
368
00:17:50,204 --> 00:17:51,570
I fixed it, didn't i?
369
00:17:54,608 --> 00:17:55,574
G you sure don't act like
a man who's been livin
370
00:17:55,609 --> 00:17:59,278
with two women.
371
00:17:59,313 --> 00:18:02,381
Well, every man's entitle
d to a night off.
372
00:18:02,881 --> 00:18:05,384
Not on my time.
373
00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:26,905
I think you dropped something.
374
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,909
Well?
375
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,411
Oh, l-you want me
to pick it up?
376
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:33,912
Jack?
377
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,914
Well, here goes my night off.
378
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:48,927
It's going to be a lovely dress
379
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:49,428
we'll have the second fitting
tomorrow night.
380
00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:51,930
Good night.
381
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,437
You're not fooling me
with that second fitting.
382
00:18:58,472 --> 00:18:59,438
You don't even have
a tape measure.
383
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:02,941
Maybe that's why they need
a second fitting, stanley.
384
00:19:05,479 --> 00:19:06,445
Don't try to protect them
, helen,
385
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,447
i've got eyes,
i know what i saw.
386
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:09,448
Did you learn anything
387
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,454
will you stay out of this,
helen?
388
00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:17,456
N.
Mr. Roper, l-i can explai
389
00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:18,457
you don't have
to explain anything.
390
00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,459
Just get out.
391
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:20,959
Does this mean
i can't finish my beer?
392
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,961
Just get out.
393
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:23,962
Get out of here,
i mean out of this building.
394
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:26,665
Pack your things and leave.
395
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:30,669
Say good night to karen for me.
396
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,174
Don't you think
you were a little harsh?
397
00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:37,176
I wasn't harsh enough.
398
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,678
You saw what he was doing
with my niece.
399
00:19:39,713 --> 00:19:41,180
He was acting normal.
400
00:19:42,716 --> 00:19:44,183
That's sick.
401
00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:52,391
Hello?
402
00:19:52,426 --> 00:19:54,393
Is somebody there?
403
00:19:54,428 --> 00:19:56,395
Yeah, it's me.
Jack.
404
00:19:56,430 --> 00:19:59,398
No chrissy,
there's nobody there.
405
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:00,899
You don't have to get hostile
406
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,901
just because i'm a little late,
janet.
407
00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:04,403
Get lost.
408
00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:09,908
I have something i want to say-
409
00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:10,909
hey, you know something?
410
00:20:10,944 --> 00:20:12,911
This cake is delicious.
411
00:20:17,451 --> 00:20:21,420
Janet?
412
00:20:21,455 --> 00:20:23,422
Chrissy?
413
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:24,923
Oh, i get it.
414
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,926
The silent treatment.
415
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:29,928
Oh, boy, if there's one thing i
hate, it's the silent treatment
416
00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:32,931
look, i just came up to pack
my things and say goodbye.
417
00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:34,933
Goodbye.
418
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,435
Boy, are you sensitive.
419
00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:40,939
You don't have to leave jus
because you missed the party.
420
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,941
Even though it was
a lousy thing to do.
421
00:20:42,976 --> 00:20:43,942
And crummy.
422
00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:44,943
And despicable.
423
00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:46,445
And rotten.
424
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:47,446
Could we go back to
the silent treatment?
425
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:51,950
You don't have to move out.
426
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:52,951
I'll get over it.
427
00:20:52,986 --> 00:20:53,952
Roper won't.
428
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,454
Roper?
429
00:20:55,954 --> 00:20:57,155
Yeah, i had a little trouble
in his car.
430
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:58,156
Oh, what happened?
431
00:20:58,191 --> 00:20:59,157
Did she say no?
432
00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:05,664
Roper's car overheated
on the freeway.
433
00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:07,165
And roper's niece?
434
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,166
On the living room sofa.
435
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:13,672
And then roper came in
and caught us
436
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:15,173
and that's when the whole place
boiled over.
437
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:15,674
Well, what happened?
438
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,175
Nothing.
439
00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:18,176
But he kicked me out anyway.
440
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:19,177
I have to move.
441
00:21:19,212 --> 00:21:20,679
Oh, jack.
442
00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:22,180
Yeah.
443
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,182
Oh, we don't want to lose you.
444
00:21:26,219 --> 00:21:27,686
Oh, that roper,
he's got a lot of nerve
445
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:30,188
throwing his weight around
like that.
446
00:21:30,223 --> 00:21:30,689
Hi
447
00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:32,691
listen you.
448
00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:35,193
This is a partnership here.
449
00:21:35,228 --> 00:21:37,696
And if you throw one of us out,
then you throw us all out.
450
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:38,297
Right?
451
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:39,097
Right.
452
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,098
T.
Righ
453
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,100
what?
454
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:43,101
I came up to apologize
for my niece.
455
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,603
What?
456
00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:46,605
Well, she admitted
she practically attacked
457
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,607
poor jack here, and he showed
no interest at all.
458
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:52,611
And the poor girl feels
like she's over the hill.
459
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,114
Karen, over the hill?
460
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:58,116
Yeah, but it's okay now,
i told her all about jack.
461
00:21:58,151 --> 00:21:59,618
What'd you tell her?
462
00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:01,119
Oh, just a little fairy story.
463
00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:11,129
Anyhow, she's sorry and so am i
464
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,631
but now, does
that mean that he can stay?
465
00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:14,633
Sure.
466
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:17,135
Sure.
467
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,837
Jack has his rights,
just like any other minority.
468
00:22:23,877 --> 00:22:25,844
We're so glad you can stay.
469
00:22:25,879 --> 00:22:26,345
Oh, boy, i was sweating
there for a minute.
470
00:22:26,380 --> 00:22:28,347
So were we.
471
00:22:28,382 --> 00:22:30,849
Yeah, but still, that was really
mean of you not to come tonight.
472
00:22:30,884 --> 00:22:32,851
Where were you all night?
473
00:22:32,886 --> 00:22:34,853
Well, we drove around a lot and
i had a special errand to run.
474
00:22:34,888 --> 00:22:36,855
Oh, can it jack.
475
00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:39,858
What kind of special errand is
going to be-
476
00:22:39,893 --> 00:22:43,862
oh, janet, it's your cameo.
477
00:22:43,897 --> 00:22:46,865
Oh, you bought it back
from the pawn shop.
478
00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:48,367
Um-hum.
479
00:22:48,402 --> 00:22:49,868
Where'd you get
the money for it?
480
00:22:49,903 --> 00:22:51,870
Well, i couldn't waste roper's
money on karen, could i?
481
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,876
Janet, oh, come on, you know how
i hate the silent treatment.
482
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:16,895
Boy helen, the kids today are
getting wilder and wilder,
483
00:23:16,930 --> 00:23:19,398
not like when we were young.
484
00:23:19,433 --> 00:23:21,900
How long did we go together
before i tried anything?
485
00:23:21,935 --> 00:23:23,402
Well, let me see now-
486
00:23:25,939 --> 00:23:27,406
- i think we were marrie
d about two years.
487
00:23:55,368 --> 00:23:58,336
Three's company was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.
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