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00:00:02,079 --> 00:00:03,314
* MTV. *
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00:00:15,092 --> 00:00:17,328
* *
3
00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:23,700
(alarm ringing)
4
00:00:25,402 --> 00:00:27,504
* *
5
00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:37,714
(exhales)
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00:00:39,049 --> 00:00:40,717
INFLUENCER (over video):
Cred has more electrolytes
7
00:00:40,817 --> 00:00:42,719
than Gatorade or Prime.
8
00:00:42,819 --> 00:00:46,823
And now Cred has a new flavor:
Cherry Bubblegum.
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00:00:57,067 --> 00:00:59,536
Eric, do you really need
to bring three bottles
10
00:00:59,636 --> 00:01:01,205
of that drink to school?
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00:01:01,305 --> 00:01:04,375
Mom, a kid today is defined
by their hydration drink.
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00:01:04,475 --> 00:01:07,778
I have to have more Cred
than anyone else.
13
00:01:07,878 --> 00:01:09,446
* *
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* I got Cred, bitches *
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00:01:11,382 --> 00:01:12,949
* I got Cred *
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00:01:13,049 --> 00:01:14,785
* I got Cred, bitches *
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00:01:14,885 --> 00:01:16,653
* I got Cred *
18
00:01:16,753 --> 00:01:18,455
* I got Kiwi Lime *
19
00:01:18,555 --> 00:01:19,856
* I got Gooble Grape *
20
00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:21,825
* You got no Cred, bitches *
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* But I got mine *
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* We got Cred, bitches,
we got Cred *
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* Our teeth are blue, bitches *
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* Our tongues are red... *
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CARTMAN:
Yeah, but it's, like, seriously,
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look at how it's suddenly
everybody now.
27
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Like that Spencer Hollis kid.
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00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:40,644
He never even cared about Cred,
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00:01:40,744 --> 00:01:42,078
he just drinks it
'cause some stupid influencer
30
00:01:42,179 --> 00:01:43,414
said it's cool now.
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Hey, hey, Clyde,
where's your Cred?
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00:01:46,617 --> 00:01:50,053
Oh, um, it's in my...
I-I already drank it.
33
00:01:51,388 --> 00:01:52,989
See? That's what
I'm talking about.
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Clyde likes Cred so much that
he drank all his before noon.
35
00:01:55,459 --> 00:01:56,627
That's a real Cred drinker.
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Unlike all the poser
Cred drinkers
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like Spencer Hollis!
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Fuck you.
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00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:04,801
Fuck you, Spencer,
you're a fucking poser!
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STRONG WOMAN:
It's literally everywhere now.
41
00:02:07,304 --> 00:02:09,840
These crazy hydration drinks
that say they're healthy,
42
00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:12,943
but are loaded with fake sugars
and not safe for children.
43
00:02:13,043 --> 00:02:16,247
Why now? Why are kids
suddenly so into these things?
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00:02:16,347 --> 00:02:17,781
Online influencers.
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00:02:17,881 --> 00:02:19,883
They promote this stuff to kids
to make money.
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00:02:19,983 --> 00:02:22,185
I don't know what kind of
scumbags would push adult things
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-on something they know
kids will watch.
-(pounding on door)
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You guys, we have a big problem.
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00:02:28,525 --> 00:02:30,361
-What is it?
-It's about the South Park
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00:02:30,461 --> 00:02:32,229
elementary art teacher.
51
00:02:32,329 --> 00:02:33,730
Mrs. Streibel? What about her?
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00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:36,933
We just found out
that she's been...
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00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:40,404
doing pornographic videos
on OnlyFans.
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00:02:40,504 --> 00:02:42,473
-Oh, no.
-Oh, yes.
55
00:02:42,573 --> 00:02:45,208
There's gonna be
a big meeting tonight,
56
00:02:45,309 --> 00:02:48,144
and everybody's gonna see it.
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* *
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* *
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00:03:27,284 --> 00:03:29,720
(indistinct shouting)
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Everyone, let's try
to be civil here.
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Be civil?
How are we supposed to go home
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and explain to our children that
their art teacher is a slut?
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(agreeing chatter)
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She is not a slut.
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Mrs. Streibel is a woman
engaging in a legal activity
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on a website
that is for adults only.
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(angry shouting)
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Of course kids are gonna see it.
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-They see everything
on the Internet.
-(agreeing chatter)
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Well, the problem is you guys
buy your kids phones, okay?
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Just like you buy them all these
unhealthy hydration drinks.
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Oh, don't turn this
around on us.
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We can't control
what our kids drink
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00:04:03,253 --> 00:04:04,321
or what they watch.
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They're your kids.
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00:04:06,089 --> 00:04:08,124
Many teachers
are struggling to get by
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00:04:08,224 --> 00:04:10,461
and need ways to supplement
their income.
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00:04:10,561 --> 00:04:13,364
Mrs. Streibel makes close
to minimum wage as a teacher,
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00:04:13,464 --> 00:04:17,568
but on OnlyFans, she makes
an extra $10,000 a week.
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00:04:17,668 --> 00:04:21,004
(indistinct shouting)
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It doesn't matter
how much she made,
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we're talking about someone
who influences our children.
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Did she say $10,000 a week?
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Listen, we have suspended
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Mrs. Streibel indefinitely,
okay?
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00:04:32,082 --> 00:04:33,850
But over the next few days,
87
00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:35,819
you should probably talk
to your kids
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about what they might
have seen, m'kay.
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Uh, hey, Clyde, w-why don't you
come over here and have a seat?
90
00:04:56,373 --> 00:04:57,808
What?
91
00:04:57,908 --> 00:05:00,644
Uh, have a seat, pal.
We need to talk to you.
92
00:05:02,045 --> 00:05:03,279
Clyde...
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00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:05,449
we're understanding
that some tough things
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have been going on at school.
95
00:05:07,484 --> 00:05:09,953
Yes. Yes, they have.
96
00:05:10,053 --> 00:05:12,288
All right, well, we know
that some of the stuff
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00:05:12,389 --> 00:05:15,626
you're dealing with
might be kind of disturbing.
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00:05:15,726 --> 00:05:17,861
Yes, it's totally disturbing,
yes.
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00:05:17,961 --> 00:05:21,498
All right, Clyde, well,
we want to try and help you.
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Really? You do?
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00:05:22,799 --> 00:05:24,535
Oh, thank God. Finally.
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Yeah, pal,
let-let me explain to you
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what "double penetration" is.
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Double penetration?
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See, in your art teacher's
OnlyFans page,
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her and two men,
who love each other very much,
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wanted to express that love...
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00:05:40,116 --> 00:05:41,918
Dad, nobody cares
about double penetration.
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My life at school is awful
because you don't let me drink
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hydrating sports drinks
like all the other kids.
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Clyde, we've told you,
those things are filled
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with additives and fake sugar,
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and they're not good
for children.
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You're not even
my real mom, Janice,
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so why don't you
shut the fuck up?
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Clyde, that's enough.
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Every other kid at school
is allowed to have it.
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They all have Cred,
but I have zero Cred
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because my dad
and his stupid girlfriend
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think it's bad for me.
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Why do you want to be
like all the other kids?
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Shut up, Janice,
you're not my mom!
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All right, Clyde, we're trying
to have a nice talk with you
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about double penetration,
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00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:12,148
and you can just go
to your room now.
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Fine!
127
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Thanks a lot
for making sure your son
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is the only kid in school
without any Cred!
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INFLUENCER (over video):
It's like nobody
understands me, you know?
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Like, all these stupid boomers
and people over 40
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don't know how hard it is
for young people.
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-Yeah.
-Like, yo, if you guys
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00:06:35,639 --> 00:06:37,608
feel the same way,
just leave a comment down below
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and smash that like button.
135
00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:43,880
You know, the most important
thing is just to be yourself.
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00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:45,882
And when I feel like
I can't be myself,
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that's when I need a hydration
drink that'll pick me up.
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-That's when I need Cred.
-(groans)
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INFLUENCER:
It's the coolest sports drink
in the world.
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00:06:54,390 --> 00:06:56,359
Cred is 100% sugar-free.
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00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:59,129
Cred has electrolytes
so you can ride your bike.
142
00:06:59,229 --> 00:07:00,764
And also,
Cred has more vitamin A
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00:07:00,864 --> 00:07:03,066
than your body
could possibly ever use.
144
00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:05,001
I can't feel my face.
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Drink Cred
or you're a piece of shit.
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00:07:07,370 --> 00:07:08,605
(whoops)
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NARRATOR:
Drink Cred at your school today.
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00:07:12,643 --> 00:07:15,946
Hey, guys, I know there's
a lot of influencers out there
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trying to get your attention.
150
00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:20,083
And I just hope that
you'll maybe take a moment
151
00:07:20,183 --> 00:07:24,454
to check out what I have to say
here on My OnlyFans page.
152
00:07:24,555 --> 00:07:27,858
I hope you're all doing great,
and if you're watching this PPV,
153
00:07:27,958 --> 00:07:29,793
I hope you'll consider
subscribing.
154
00:07:29,893 --> 00:07:31,294
If you want me
to give a shout-out
155
00:07:31,394 --> 00:07:33,163
for your social media,
I can do that.
156
00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:34,898
And if you want a custom,
just let me know
157
00:07:34,998 --> 00:07:36,399
if there's anything special
you want to see.
158
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,802
-What the fuck are you doing?
-Oh! Hey, Sharon,
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just supplementing my income.
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Are you serious right now?
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All right, all right,
Sharon, yes,
162
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I am an OnlyFans model.
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And I'm not ashamed of it.
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Goddamn it, Randy.
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What is with all the stigma
Americans have anyway, huh?
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It's just my penis, Sharon.
It's not a big deal.
167
00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:59,522
No, it's definitely
not a big deal.
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Okay, good. Thank you.
169
00:08:01,191 --> 00:08:02,926
All I'm doing
is taking back control
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00:08:03,026 --> 00:08:05,028
of my sexuality on a platform
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00:08:05,128 --> 00:08:06,963
that I can benefit from
financially.
172
00:08:07,063 --> 00:08:08,665
So you're just gonna sit here
and jack off
173
00:08:08,765 --> 00:08:11,668
for four hours a week just
to make a few extra dollars?
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00:08:11,768 --> 00:08:13,870
I jack off
two hours a week anyways.
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00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:15,572
Now I just do it
a little bit more
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and make enough money to pay
for the increase in gas prices.
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If your children find out
about this,
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00:08:20,711 --> 00:08:22,979
they are going to leave home.
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00:08:23,747 --> 00:08:26,683
Children aren't allowed
on OnlyFans, Sharon.
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It's totally safe.
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Kids aren't gonna see this.
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(school bell ringing)
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00:08:36,126 --> 00:08:38,829
(indistinct chatter)
184
00:08:40,964 --> 00:08:42,999
Hey, Butters, Tweek,
you guys got a second?
185
00:08:43,099 --> 00:08:44,868
-For what?
-Okay, you know how, like,
186
00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:46,202
some kids in this school
really like Cred
187
00:08:46,302 --> 00:08:47,604
and others just pretend to,
188
00:08:47,704 --> 00:08:49,372
but really they're posers
like Spencer Hollis?
189
00:08:49,472 --> 00:08:52,008
Well, I think we should
start a Cred affinity group.
190
00:08:52,108 --> 00:08:53,443
What's an affinity group?
191
00:08:53,543 --> 00:08:55,311
It's where you, like,
divide people into groups
192
00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:57,480
and single them out in order
to make other people feel bad.
193
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,482
See, it's like
we're the legit Cred drinkers,
194
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:00,851
and we should just let
the very coolest kids
195
00:09:00,951 --> 00:09:02,018
into our affinity group.
196
00:09:02,118 --> 00:09:03,419
Oh, hey, Clyde.
197
00:09:03,519 --> 00:09:05,221
-Where's your Cred?
-Oh, it's just, uh...
198
00:09:05,321 --> 00:09:08,158
-it's, uh, in my backpack again.
-Oh, that's cool.
199
00:09:08,258 --> 00:09:09,993
You guys think we should let
Clyde into our affinity group?
200
00:09:10,093 --> 00:09:11,594
Yeah, I like Clyde.
201
00:09:11,695 --> 00:09:13,830
Oh, hey, Stan. Do you want
to be in our affinity group?
202
00:09:13,930 --> 00:09:16,266
-What's an affinity group?
-It's like where people separate
203
00:09:16,366 --> 00:09:17,934
into little clubs by, like,
skin color or religious beliefs
204
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:19,703
and talk about how much better
they are than everyone else.
205
00:09:19,803 --> 00:09:21,371
Usually, white people
can't be in an affinity group,
206
00:09:21,471 --> 00:09:22,906
but it's for a drink,
so they have to let us.
207
00:09:23,006 --> 00:09:24,675
That's not what
an affinity group is.
208
00:09:24,775 --> 00:09:27,043
Uh, yeah, well,
no one's inviting you, Kyle.
209
00:09:27,143 --> 00:09:28,945
'Cause it looks like
you don't even have any Cred.
210
00:09:29,045 --> 00:09:30,814
Yeah, I do, it's in my backpack.
211
00:09:30,914 --> 00:09:33,049
Oh, sure,
it's in his backpack, guys.
212
00:09:33,149 --> 00:09:34,685
Yeah, let's see it, then.
213
00:09:34,785 --> 00:09:37,721
It's right here. We drink
way more Cred than you guys do.
214
00:09:37,821 --> 00:09:40,223
Oh, yeah, right. Tweek drinks
four bottles of Cred
215
00:09:40,323 --> 00:09:42,726
-for breakfast.
-(grunting)
216
00:09:42,826 --> 00:09:44,560
(school bell rings)
217
00:09:44,661 --> 00:09:46,129
I don't want to be a part
of any affinity group.
218
00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:47,597
It just sounds like trouble.
219
00:09:47,698 --> 00:09:49,032
Yeah, well, we don't want you.
220
00:09:49,132 --> 00:09:50,566
'Cause you just pretend
to like Cred
221
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,002
'cause it's a fad right now
222
00:09:52,102 --> 00:09:53,603
like all the other lame-o's
in this school.
223
00:09:53,704 --> 00:09:55,271
Hey, guys.
224
00:09:56,206 --> 00:09:57,874
Hey, Clyde, you got a sec?
225
00:09:57,974 --> 00:10:00,343
-For what?
-I was just gonna talk to you
about your backpack.
226
00:10:00,443 --> 00:10:02,378
-W-What about my backpack?
-Well, it's just...
227
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:04,147
You know, it's really best
to have a backpack
228
00:10:04,247 --> 00:10:05,982
that's got a water bottle pouch
to put your Cred in.
229
00:10:06,082 --> 00:10:07,383
See, like, see how
y-you can see, like,
230
00:10:07,483 --> 00:10:09,185
you can see my Cred bottle
from the outside?
231
00:10:09,285 --> 00:10:10,420
You just go like this,
and everyone-everyone
232
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,888
can see your Cred?
You're just like,
233
00:10:11,988 --> 00:10:13,123
"Oh, hey, what's going on?
234
00:10:13,223 --> 00:10:14,057
"Oh, yeah, sweet,
check out my Cred.
235
00:10:14,157 --> 00:10:15,892
It's, like, right here."
236
00:10:15,992 --> 00:10:17,828
Um, well, I-I don't think
237
00:10:17,928 --> 00:10:19,462
I can get a new backpack
till my birthday.
238
00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:21,331
Well, maybe just, like,
use some tape or something
239
00:10:21,431 --> 00:10:22,799
to make your own bottle pouch?
240
00:10:22,899 --> 00:10:24,067
You know, we definitely
don't want you to look
241
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,535
like you don't have any Cred.
242
00:10:25,635 --> 00:10:27,037
(chuckles) All right,
see you in class, brah.
243
00:10:29,172 --> 00:10:31,407
* *
244
00:10:40,951 --> 00:10:43,019
RANDY:
Hey, Sharon. Can we talk?
245
00:10:43,119 --> 00:10:44,420
* *
246
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,389
I feel like there's
a lot bad things going on
247
00:10:46,489 --> 00:10:49,592
in the world, and it gets so
confusing sometimes, you know?
248
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:53,563
I think, as Americans, we watch
news about things happening
249
00:10:53,663 --> 00:10:56,566
in the Middle East and we just
don't want to get involved.
250
00:10:56,666 --> 00:10:58,701
And I know it can feel like
"What can I do?
251
00:10:58,802 --> 00:11:01,571
I'm not special, how could I
ever make a difference?"
252
00:11:01,671 --> 00:11:04,975
But we can't let ourselves
think like that.
253
00:11:05,075 --> 00:11:07,143
Sometimes what it takes
254
00:11:07,243 --> 00:11:09,746
is just one person
to start a movement.
255
00:11:09,846 --> 00:11:13,616
One person, and then
everyone else might follow.
256
00:11:16,953 --> 00:11:22,392
I am not subscribing
to your OnlyFans page, Randy.
257
00:11:22,492 --> 00:11:25,461
Okay, well, you're a cunt.
258
00:11:28,664 --> 00:11:30,700
(indistinct chatter)
259
00:11:32,869 --> 00:11:34,204
Yeah, that looks good.
260
00:11:34,304 --> 00:11:36,639
Maybe a little higher
on your side, Butters.
261
00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:38,842
Yeah, that's great. I think
everyone can see that now.
262
00:11:38,942 --> 00:11:41,444
That should definitely
make people feel unwelcome.
263
00:11:42,212 --> 00:11:44,447
* *
264
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,531
(playful chattering)
265
00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:14,010
Hey.
266
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:15,879
Hey...
267
00:12:15,979 --> 00:12:17,647
What's goin' on?
268
00:12:17,747 --> 00:12:21,484
So... are you, like,
selling Cred?
269
00:12:21,584 --> 00:12:24,054
What? Selling hydration drinks
on school grounds
270
00:12:24,154 --> 00:12:25,721
is against the rules.
271
00:12:25,822 --> 00:12:27,290
Come here, come here.
272
00:12:28,058 --> 00:12:30,593
What the-- Hey, what are you--
What the hell are you doing?
273
00:12:30,693 --> 00:12:33,897
(quietly):
If you're wearing a wire,
I will kick your ass.
274
00:12:33,997 --> 00:12:36,499
Bro, I'm not wearing a wire!
Do you have Cred or not?
275
00:12:36,599 --> 00:12:39,435
Sure, I got Cred.
What are ya looking for?
276
00:12:39,535 --> 00:12:42,205
A little...
Watermelon Strawberry?
277
00:12:42,305 --> 00:12:43,373
No, no, do you have any ones
278
00:12:43,473 --> 00:12:44,975
that don't taste like total ass?
279
00:12:45,075 --> 00:12:46,342
Oh, you want the good shit.
280
00:12:46,442 --> 00:12:48,611
I got your Bubblegum Grape
right here.
281
00:12:48,711 --> 00:12:49,946
Okay, how much?
282
00:12:50,046 --> 00:12:51,181
Eighty bucks.
283
00:12:51,281 --> 00:12:53,516
$80? For a shitty
fake-sugar drink?
284
00:12:53,616 --> 00:12:54,885
What do you think
I'm runnin' here,
285
00:12:54,985 --> 00:12:56,652
a fucking charity
for the homeless?
286
00:12:56,752 --> 00:12:58,989
How about some
Oatmeal Nummy Nums?
287
00:12:59,089 --> 00:13:00,857
I can get you into that for $65.
288
00:13:00,957 --> 00:13:04,827
I don't have $65.
What can I get for three bucks?
289
00:13:04,928 --> 00:13:06,596
Three bucks? Oh, sure.
290
00:13:06,696 --> 00:13:08,731
For that, you can get
an empty Cred bottle.
291
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,301
-What good is that gonna do me?
-It's easy.
292
00:13:11,401 --> 00:13:13,436
You just fill
your empty bottle with water,
293
00:13:13,536 --> 00:13:15,138
add a little food coloring.
294
00:13:15,238 --> 00:13:19,342
Everyone thinks you got Cred
when you actually have no Cred.
295
00:13:19,442 --> 00:13:22,512
I'm not giving you three dollars
for just plastic garbage!
296
00:13:22,612 --> 00:13:23,947
Cool thing, man.
297
00:13:24,047 --> 00:13:26,782
You just go back into the school
without any Cred at all.
298
00:13:26,883 --> 00:13:28,684
See how long you last.
299
00:13:29,953 --> 00:13:31,454
Here!
300
00:13:33,323 --> 00:13:35,025
RANDY:
Hey, guys, it's your boy Randy,
301
00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:37,928
and in this video we're doing
authentic pad Thai
302
00:13:38,028 --> 00:13:39,695
for under $6.
303
00:13:39,795 --> 00:13:41,864
Now we're gonna start
with some medium shrimp
304
00:13:41,965 --> 00:13:43,433
and some rice noodles.
305
00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,501
For the wet ingredients,
we're looking at a couple eggs,
306
00:13:45,601 --> 00:13:47,137
some fish and also soy sauce.
307
00:13:47,237 --> 00:13:49,239
And then for garnish, we're
gonna do a little cilantro,
308
00:13:49,339 --> 00:13:50,773
green onion, and then of course,
309
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,843
we're gonna top that all off
with some fresh nuts.
310
00:13:53,944 --> 00:13:56,246
Those nuts are gonna give it
that extra bite.
311
00:13:56,346 --> 00:13:57,513
Now, if you like
what you're seeing
312
00:13:57,613 --> 00:13:59,482
be sure to smash
that subscribe button.
313
00:13:59,582 --> 00:14:02,919
-And--
-Get your balls off the table!
314
00:14:03,019 --> 00:14:05,855
Oh, oh, great Sharon
you just ruined the shot!
315
00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:09,092
The guys at the deli wanted me
to say hi, Randy.
316
00:14:09,192 --> 00:14:11,294
They all saw you on OnlyFans.
317
00:14:11,394 --> 00:14:13,096
Really?
Are they gonna subscribe?
318
00:14:13,196 --> 00:14:14,830
No, they're not going
to subscribe.
319
00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:17,000
Nobody's going
to subscribe, Randy.
320
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,935
Will you fucking stop?
321
00:14:19,035 --> 00:14:20,603
This stuff takes time!
322
00:14:20,703 --> 00:14:22,772
You don't just put up a page
and immediately get followers.
323
00:14:22,872 --> 00:14:25,041
You have to support it
with other social media,
324
00:14:25,141 --> 00:14:26,476
have a craft to teach...
325
00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:28,778
Being an influencer
takes time, Sharon!
326
00:14:28,878 --> 00:14:31,014
Oh, so now
you're an influencer?
327
00:14:31,114 --> 00:14:32,949
Yes! I'm an influencer.
328
00:14:33,049 --> 00:14:35,785
Maybe you should see
how it feels, Randy.
329
00:14:35,885 --> 00:14:39,522
Maybe I should go
and do my own OnlyFans.
330
00:14:39,622 --> 00:14:41,691
(chuckling):
What? What?
331
00:14:41,791 --> 00:14:44,060
Yeah, like people are gonna pay
to see your OnlyFans.
332
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,129
I'll make more than you do!
333
00:14:46,229 --> 00:14:48,431
Sharon, being
an influencer is work.
334
00:14:48,531 --> 00:14:50,400
You got to pay for the lighting,
for the sound,
335
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:51,867
you got to be good at editing!
336
00:14:51,968 --> 00:14:53,203
Okay. Cool, Randy.
337
00:14:53,303 --> 00:14:54,837
I'm gonna go start
an OnlyFans channel.
338
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:58,408
Ok-okay.
Okay, you go do that, Sharon!
339
00:14:58,508 --> 00:15:01,244
I'm gonna fuckin' do it!
340
00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:04,247
Okay, yeah, go supplement
our income, Shar...
341
00:15:04,347 --> 00:15:06,582
(chuckles weakly)
342
00:15:06,682 --> 00:15:07,817
Sharon?
343
00:15:12,188 --> 00:15:14,424
* *
344
00:15:32,075 --> 00:15:33,776
You got this day, bro!
345
00:15:33,876 --> 00:15:37,413
You're strong and I'm gonna
keep on making videos for you.
346
00:15:45,355 --> 00:15:47,123
* I've got Cred, bitches *
347
00:15:47,223 --> 00:15:48,424
* I've got Cred *
348
00:15:48,524 --> 00:15:50,526
* I've got Cred, bitches *
349
00:15:50,626 --> 00:15:52,528
* I've got Cred. *
350
00:15:55,598 --> 00:15:57,433
Hey, guys, we're having
a Cred affinity group meeting
351
00:15:57,533 --> 00:15:58,968
today at 4:00.
Nobody's allowed but us, okay?
352
00:15:59,069 --> 00:16:00,436
Hey, Jordan.
353
00:16:00,536 --> 00:16:01,737
We're having a meeting today.
You can't come.
354
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:03,005
Affinity group meeting
today, Sally.
355
00:16:03,106 --> 00:16:04,340
You're not invited.
356
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,608
Well, I think that's just
about everyone.
357
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:06,876
Tweek, did you tell
Spencer Hollis
358
00:16:06,976 --> 00:16:08,411
he's not allowed
in the affinity group?
359
00:16:08,511 --> 00:16:09,945
Yeah. You told me
to call him last night.
360
00:16:10,046 --> 00:16:11,247
He didn't seem to care.
361
00:16:11,347 --> 00:16:13,549
-Yeah, he cares.
-Oh, there's Clyde!
362
00:16:13,649 --> 00:16:17,387
Hey, Clyde. Look at you
with your nice new backpack.
363
00:16:17,487 --> 00:16:19,155
Oh, uh, yeah.
You guys like it?
364
00:16:19,255 --> 00:16:20,323
Yeah, it's really cool.
365
00:16:20,423 --> 00:16:21,757
You can see your Cred now.
366
00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:23,459
Yeah, it's really nice
the way your Cred is--
367
00:16:23,559 --> 00:16:26,629
Oh, my God! Clyde!
You got Moonrise Mellow?
368
00:16:26,729 --> 00:16:28,731
How the hell did you get
a bottle of Moonrise Mellow?
369
00:16:28,831 --> 00:16:31,567
Oh, it was just, uh,
what my parents gave me today.
370
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:33,069
You guys,
Moonrise Mellow is, like,
371
00:16:33,169 --> 00:16:34,570
the hardest flavor to get ever.
372
00:16:34,670 --> 00:16:37,507
-Whoa, lucky.
-Yeah, hey, I'm not sharing.
373
00:16:37,607 --> 00:16:40,276
-Hey, Stan. Hey, Stan.
-No, no, dude, wait.
374
00:16:40,376 --> 00:16:42,845
Check out what Clyde has.
Moonrise Mellow.
375
00:16:42,945 --> 00:16:43,879
That's impossible.
376
00:16:43,979 --> 00:16:45,615
(laughs)
Look at their faces.
377
00:16:45,715 --> 00:16:47,250
They're so jealous.
378
00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:48,618
No, it's really impossible.
379
00:16:48,718 --> 00:16:50,353
Moonrise Mellow was
discontinued months ago.
380
00:16:50,453 --> 00:16:53,123
Guess you wish now that you were
in the Cred affinity group.
381
00:16:53,223 --> 00:16:55,925
We told you guys we have better
Cred than anyone at school.
382
00:16:56,025 --> 00:16:57,293
It's probably fake.
383
00:16:57,393 --> 00:16:59,195
Oh! Oh, you think
it's fake, huh?
384
00:16:59,295 --> 00:17:01,131
You want to fucking taste it?
385
00:17:01,231 --> 00:17:02,932
(sputters)
What the fuck?
386
00:17:03,032 --> 00:17:04,967
This is fucking apple juice.
Gross!
387
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,970
-Let's see.
-Hey, give it back.
388
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,173
Yeah, it's apple juice.
You guys are posers.
389
00:17:10,273 --> 00:17:11,641
We're not posers!
390
00:17:11,741 --> 00:17:14,444
Hey, guys. Cred affinity group
uses fake Cred.
391
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:18,681
What the fuck?
392
00:17:18,781 --> 00:17:20,116
What the fuck
have you done, Clyde?
393
00:17:20,216 --> 00:17:21,284
I'm sorry, okay?
394
00:17:21,384 --> 00:17:22,618
Oh, he's sorry.
395
00:17:22,718 --> 00:17:24,320
He faked having Cred,
but he's sorry!
396
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:27,490
All right, look, my parents
won't let me drink Cred, okay?
397
00:17:27,590 --> 00:17:29,459
They think it's bad for me.
398
00:17:29,559 --> 00:17:31,794
So you never had Cred?
399
00:17:31,894 --> 00:17:32,895
No.
400
00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:34,197
Oh, my God!
401
00:17:34,297 --> 00:17:36,466
We all said you had Cred
in your backpack, Clyde.
402
00:17:36,566 --> 00:17:37,800
We fucking backed you!
403
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,935
What the hell are we gonna do?
404
00:17:40,035 --> 00:17:41,204
Why do you guys care?
405
00:17:41,304 --> 00:17:42,538
I'm the one who doesn't
have any Cred!
406
00:17:42,638 --> 00:17:43,973
That's not how it works, man!
407
00:17:44,073 --> 00:17:45,675
If you don't have Cred,
then everyone around you
408
00:17:45,775 --> 00:17:47,310
loses all their Cred.
409
00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:49,912
We're dead.
We're fuckin' dead.
410
00:17:50,012 --> 00:17:51,514
Word is gonna spread
through the school
411
00:17:51,614 --> 00:17:52,882
that our affinity group
has no Cred
412
00:17:52,982 --> 00:17:54,684
and then we're gonna--
(gags)
413
00:17:55,618 --> 00:17:57,853
(retching)
414
00:17:59,489 --> 00:18:01,424
How could you do this
to us, Clyde?
415
00:18:01,524 --> 00:18:03,393
I'm sorry.
It was all the pressure.
416
00:18:03,493 --> 00:18:05,161
(Cartman retching)
417
00:18:05,261 --> 00:18:07,530
I never even wanted to be
in an affinity group.
418
00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:09,064
Now I'm doomed!
419
00:18:09,165 --> 00:18:11,133
(retching)
420
00:18:11,234 --> 00:18:14,570
SHARON (moaning):
Ooh... oh. Oh, yeah.
421
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:16,906
-You like that, guys?
-Oh, my God.
422
00:18:17,006 --> 00:18:19,775
-Oh... Oh, God.
-Oh, my God. She did it.
423
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:22,445
-Mm... Oh, yeah.
-She actually did it.
424
00:18:22,545 --> 00:18:25,114
-She actually got
more subscribers than me.
-Ooh, yeah, guys.
425
00:18:25,215 --> 00:18:26,882
Oh, yeah.
426
00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:28,718
Just let me know
if there's anything special
427
00:18:28,818 --> 00:18:30,386
you'd like to see, guys.
428
00:18:30,486 --> 00:18:32,755
-3,100 subscribers.
-Ooh...
429
00:18:32,855 --> 00:18:34,524
-Oh, oh, yeah...
-How is that possible?
430
00:18:34,624 --> 00:18:36,326
I mean, look at that,
the lighting sucks.
431
00:18:36,426 --> 00:18:37,727
The sound keeps clipping
432
00:18:37,827 --> 00:18:39,829
like she got a microphone
at Walmart or something.
433
00:18:39,929 --> 00:18:42,698
And who's that guy?
He's blocking half the shot.
434
00:18:42,798 --> 00:18:45,301
-Oh, oh, ooh...
-This is total amateur hour!
435
00:18:45,401 --> 00:18:47,570
Thanks for calling
OnlyFans customer support.
436
00:18:47,670 --> 00:18:48,838
How can I help you?
437
00:18:48,938 --> 00:18:51,040
Yeah, I just found out
that my wife has
438
00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:52,408
an OnlyFans page,
439
00:18:52,508 --> 00:18:54,777
and in one day she has
more subscribers than me.
440
00:18:54,877 --> 00:18:57,313
I'm starting to think
this whole thing is rigged.
441
00:18:57,413 --> 00:18:58,881
Well, it is slightly easier
442
00:18:58,981 --> 00:19:01,751
for our female content creators
to find an audience.
443
00:19:01,851 --> 00:19:04,587
Look, my wife can't become
a bigger influencer than me.
444
00:19:04,687 --> 00:19:05,788
I'll never hear the end of it.
445
00:19:05,888 --> 00:19:07,523
Well, sir, have you been trying
446
00:19:07,623 --> 00:19:09,692
the pointers we discussed
to reach a larger audience?
447
00:19:09,792 --> 00:19:11,361
Yes! I added a skill.
448
00:19:11,461 --> 00:19:14,764
I'm advertising my OnlyFans page
with TikTok and Instagram.
449
00:19:14,864 --> 00:19:17,300
What about optimizing
your algorithm?
450
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,635
Oh, um, how do I do that?
451
00:19:19,735 --> 00:19:21,103
No, no, no.
Not with your penis.
452
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:23,072
See, what a lot
of influencers will do is
453
00:19:23,172 --> 00:19:25,608
they talk about things
and show things in their videos
454
00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:26,776
that are trending.
455
00:19:26,876 --> 00:19:28,478
Then you can hashtag that,
456
00:19:28,578 --> 00:19:30,813
and the search engines will
think your content is trending.
457
00:19:30,913 --> 00:19:34,984
So I... add stuff to my videos
that's popular,
458
00:19:35,084 --> 00:19:37,052
and people will
accidentally go to my page
459
00:19:37,152 --> 00:19:38,888
trying to search
for that popular thing.
460
00:19:38,988 --> 00:19:40,022
Exactly.
461
00:19:40,122 --> 00:19:41,424
That's perfect!
462
00:19:41,524 --> 00:19:45,127
But what's trending most
on the Internet right now?
463
00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:52,802
Oh, hey there, Clyde.
How was school?
464
00:19:52,902 --> 00:19:55,671
You want to know how school was?
465
00:19:55,771 --> 00:19:57,239
It fucking sucked!
466
00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:59,809
All I wanted was to have
a little bit of Cred at school,
467
00:19:59,909 --> 00:20:02,345
but now I've destroyed it
and everyone hates me!
468
00:20:02,445 --> 00:20:05,815
Oh, Clyde, we're always trying
to do what's best for you.
469
00:20:05,915 --> 00:20:07,850
And you shut
the fuck up, Janice!
470
00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:10,853
-You are not my mom.
-Clyde!
471
00:20:12,422 --> 00:20:15,057
INFLUENCER:
I seriously can't stand
how stupid people are sometimes.
472
00:20:15,157 --> 00:20:17,760
That's why I do
all my pranks and stuff.
473
00:20:18,761 --> 00:20:20,796
Sometimes it's impossible
to stay positive
474
00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:22,231
when everyone sucks so hard.
475
00:20:22,332 --> 00:20:23,933
If you like
what I'm saying in this video,
476
00:20:24,033 --> 00:20:26,101
smash that like button
down below.
477
00:20:27,002 --> 00:20:28,438
You know, the thing is,
478
00:20:28,538 --> 00:20:29,972
when you really feel
the most down,
479
00:20:30,072 --> 00:20:32,375
that's when you got to
fight the hardest, you know?
480
00:20:33,175 --> 00:20:35,978
I'm gonna give you 10 tips
to being tougher.
481
00:20:36,078 --> 00:20:38,481
But first I want to give
a shout-out to our sponsor
482
00:20:38,581 --> 00:20:40,215
Cred hydration drinks!
483
00:20:40,316 --> 00:20:41,684
(exasperated sigh)
484
00:20:41,784 --> 00:20:43,285
Cred gives you all
the energy you need!
485
00:20:43,386 --> 00:20:46,021
And now Cred has an all-new
exclusive flavor.
486
00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:48,558
Introducing new Mega Cred.
487
00:20:48,658 --> 00:20:49,925
It's a super limited edition
488
00:20:50,025 --> 00:20:52,294
only available
to a select few.
489
00:20:52,395 --> 00:20:54,497
And Cred's doing a big giveaway
490
00:20:54,597 --> 00:20:57,933
and maybe these super limited
edition bottles can be yours.
491
00:20:58,033 --> 00:21:00,035
* *
492
00:21:02,572 --> 00:21:03,873
So I looked it up,
493
00:21:03,973 --> 00:21:05,274
and there's this drink
called Cred
494
00:21:05,375 --> 00:21:07,643
that's the most searched thing
on the internet.
495
00:21:07,743 --> 00:21:09,144
I figured if I can get my hands
496
00:21:09,244 --> 00:21:11,013
on some of the more
hard to get bottles
497
00:21:11,113 --> 00:21:13,916
and put them in my videos,
maybe I'll get more traffic.
498
00:21:14,016 --> 00:21:16,686
Everyone says maybe
you can help me.
499
00:21:18,354 --> 00:21:21,190
Cred? What's Cred?
Never heard of it.
500
00:21:22,224 --> 00:21:24,093
Okay, look,
I'm not wearing a wire.
501
00:21:24,193 --> 00:21:25,661
You want to see?
502
00:21:25,761 --> 00:21:28,364
No, no, I don't want to see!
What the hell is wrong with you?
503
00:21:28,464 --> 00:21:30,433
I'm looking for a lot of Cred.
504
00:21:30,533 --> 00:21:31,867
Maybe I can even get them
505
00:21:31,967 --> 00:21:33,769
to eventually sponsor
my adult web channel.
506
00:21:33,869 --> 00:21:35,070
Oh, okay. Then you'll want
507
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:36,739
some of the harder stuff
that's marketed
508
00:21:36,839 --> 00:21:38,040
for adults only.
509
00:21:38,140 --> 00:21:40,309
Like maybe...
Peppa Pig Peppermint.
510
00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:42,578
That doesn't sound like
it's marketed for adults.
511
00:21:42,678 --> 00:21:46,416
Oh, well, maybe you want to try
the I'm a Big Boy Blueberry.
512
00:21:46,516 --> 00:21:48,518
All right, look, just--
How much for the whole bag?
513
00:21:48,618 --> 00:21:50,686
You want my whole bag of Cred?
514
00:21:50,786 --> 00:21:51,987
I want you to supply me
515
00:21:52,087 --> 00:21:54,089
with every bottle of Cred
you can find.
516
00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:57,226
I have to have more subscribers
than my wife.
517
00:22:07,970 --> 00:22:10,406
Eric, sweetie,
are you feeling any better?
518
00:22:11,474 --> 00:22:13,843
No, Mom, I'm dying.
519
00:22:13,943 --> 00:22:16,446
I've been completely
discredited.
520
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:21,183
Eric, everything is going
to be okay at school tomorrow.
521
00:22:21,283 --> 00:22:22,785
It's too late.
522
00:22:22,885 --> 00:22:24,487
I've already stepped down
as founder and chairman
523
00:22:24,587 --> 00:22:26,021
of my own affinity group.
524
00:22:26,121 --> 00:22:28,758
You'll find my letter of
resignation on the nightstand.
525
00:22:31,026 --> 00:22:32,662
I'm choosing to step down
526
00:22:32,762 --> 00:22:35,765
before all those sick bastards
at school try and force me out.
527
00:22:35,865 --> 00:22:37,967
Well, you need to sit up
for just a minute.
528
00:22:38,067 --> 00:22:39,935
Your little friend Clyde
wants to talk to you.
529
00:22:40,035 --> 00:22:42,672
Clyde? No, no, no, no, no.
Do not let-- Mom!
530
00:22:42,772 --> 00:22:44,774
Do not let Clyde in my--
Aw, goddamn it.
531
00:22:44,874 --> 00:22:46,408
What do you guys want?
532
00:22:46,509 --> 00:22:49,111
Eric, Clyde has an idea
that might save our Cred.
533
00:22:49,912 --> 00:22:52,448
Nothing is going to save
our Cred, you boners.
534
00:22:52,548 --> 00:22:54,083
Will you just listen?
535
00:22:54,183 --> 00:22:56,351
My influencer said there's
gonna be a big Cred promotion
536
00:22:56,452 --> 00:22:57,587
at a CVS in Pueblo.
537
00:22:57,687 --> 00:22:58,988
A promotion, great.
538
00:22:59,088 --> 00:23:00,490
They're gonna sell
a very limited quantity
539
00:23:00,590 --> 00:23:02,892
of an all-new Cred
that nobody's even tried yet.
540
00:23:02,992 --> 00:23:04,894
TWEEK:
So we could ditch school,
541
00:23:04,994 --> 00:23:06,328
find a way to get to Pueblo
542
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:08,230
and come back with a Cred
nobody else can even get.
543
00:23:08,330 --> 00:23:09,832
We'd have our Cred back.
544
00:23:10,733 --> 00:23:12,702
We followed Clyde before,
you guys,
545
00:23:12,802 --> 00:23:14,504
and it cost us everything.
546
00:23:14,604 --> 00:23:16,071
Look, 50 cases of Cred,
547
00:23:16,171 --> 00:23:18,007
only available tomorrow
200 miles away
548
00:23:18,107 --> 00:23:19,909
and then not available
for another six months.
549
00:23:20,009 --> 00:23:21,410
It's called Mega Cred.
550
00:23:24,814 --> 00:23:26,315
All right, you son of a bitch.
551
00:23:26,415 --> 00:23:29,418
Maybe our affinity group
isn't dead just yet.
552
00:23:34,089 --> 00:23:36,091
Hey, what up, guys?
It's your boy Randy.
553
00:23:36,191 --> 00:23:37,660
In this video,
I'm gonna be trying out
554
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,329
six different flavors
of the newest sports drink.
555
00:23:40,429 --> 00:23:43,198
As you can see, I've got
lots of Cred. Do you like Cred?
556
00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:44,667
If so, leave a comment
down below,
557
00:23:44,767 --> 00:23:46,368
and maybe smash
that like button.
558
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:48,303
Okay, we're gonna start
with Summer Popsicle.
559
00:23:48,403 --> 00:23:50,039
I guess it's pretty popular.
(sniffs)
560
00:23:50,139 --> 00:23:52,742
Smells okay.
Let's see how good it is.
561
00:23:54,744 --> 00:23:56,378
Ooh. Oh, okay, yeah.
562
00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:57,713
That one's kind of fizzy.
563
00:23:57,813 --> 00:23:59,715
K-Kind of fizzy,
but more on the penis
564
00:23:59,815 --> 00:24:01,083
than it is on them balls.
565
00:24:01,183 --> 00:24:02,585
Yeah, this is really nice.
566
00:24:02,685 --> 00:24:04,353
Oh. Oh, yeah, it looks good.
567
00:24:04,453 --> 00:24:06,321
Yeah, looks delicious.
Oishii.
568
00:24:06,421 --> 00:24:08,858
Hey If you're liking the
content, be sure to subscribe.
569
00:24:08,958 --> 00:24:10,159
Really helps the channel out.
570
00:24:10,259 --> 00:24:11,961
Let's move on
to another flavor now.
571
00:24:12,061 --> 00:24:13,896
This one's called
Purple Snow Globe.
572
00:24:13,996 --> 00:24:15,297
Let's see how it tastes.
573
00:24:15,397 --> 00:24:18,133
Ooh. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's a good one.
574
00:24:18,233 --> 00:24:19,769
(chimes)
575
00:24:21,571 --> 00:24:22,972
Oh?
576
00:24:23,773 --> 00:24:24,774
Oh, my God!
577
00:24:24,874 --> 00:24:26,208
Hey, Sharon!
578
00:24:26,308 --> 00:24:28,243
Sharon, you got to see this!
579
00:24:31,046 --> 00:24:32,615
Oh, there you are, Sharon.
580
00:24:32,715 --> 00:24:35,685
Been out shopping with all
the money you made on OnlyFans?
581
00:24:35,785 --> 00:24:38,020
I'm ready to stop
whenever you are.
582
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,189
Oh, ho! Yeah,
I don't think so, Sharon.
583
00:24:40,289 --> 00:24:43,258
I just had a video on TikTok
with 1,000 views
584
00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:45,795
and a video on Meta with 2,000!
585
00:24:45,895 --> 00:24:49,131
That's gonna drive all the
subscribers to my OnlyFans page.
586
00:24:49,231 --> 00:24:52,267
You said my penis wasn't
a big deal, and now look!
587
00:24:53,035 --> 00:24:55,137
What are you doing
to that Cred bottle?
588
00:24:55,237 --> 00:24:57,072
Oh, that's just
a little trend jumping.
589
00:24:57,172 --> 00:25:00,242
Randy, you know who
drinks Cred, right? Children!
590
00:25:00,342 --> 00:25:02,244
No, it's not even
suitable for children.
591
00:25:02,344 --> 00:25:04,213
Okay, this has to stop, Randy.
592
00:25:04,313 --> 00:25:07,482
The only views you're getting on
TikTok and Meta are from kids!
593
00:25:07,583 --> 00:25:09,952
That's not what
the data shows, Sharon.
594
00:25:10,052 --> 00:25:11,320
According to Meta and TikTok,
595
00:25:11,420 --> 00:25:12,955
their audience
is predominately people
596
00:25:13,055 --> 00:25:14,323
over the age of 22.
597
00:25:14,423 --> 00:25:16,425
That means it's not kids
who care about Cred,
598
00:25:16,525 --> 00:25:19,461
it's adults
who want to see my dick.
599
00:25:20,229 --> 00:25:23,032
Randy, please.
Let's just call it a tie, okay?
600
00:25:23,132 --> 00:25:25,234
Oh, I bet you'd love that now.
601
00:25:25,334 --> 00:25:29,071
Now that my OnlyFans is
about to be bigger than yours.
602
00:25:29,171 --> 00:25:31,941
I'm gonna beat your ass, honey!
603
00:25:35,945 --> 00:25:38,213
(brakes hiss)
604
00:25:39,548 --> 00:25:40,950
Oh, Jesus, now it looks
like they're doing
605
00:25:41,050 --> 00:25:42,885
a two-bottle max per person.
606
00:25:42,985 --> 00:25:45,755
O-Okay, so two bottles each.
That means we'll have eight.
607
00:25:45,855 --> 00:25:47,790
-Is that enough Cred?
-Oh, my God.
608
00:25:47,890 --> 00:25:49,091
No!
609
00:25:49,191 --> 00:25:51,160
(chanting): We want Cred!
We want Cred!
610
00:25:51,260 --> 00:25:54,730
We want Cred! We want Cred!
611
00:25:54,830 --> 00:25:56,498
Dude, there's like
2,000 kids here.
612
00:25:56,598 --> 00:25:58,100
Don't these losers have
anything better to do
613
00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,601
than fight over a shitty drink?
614
00:25:59,702 --> 00:26:01,403
Come on, we gotta make our way
to the front.
615
00:26:01,503 --> 00:26:04,807
Tom, I'm standing
outside the CVS in Pueblo
616
00:26:04,907 --> 00:26:08,210
where thousands of children
have shown up to get some Cred.
617
00:26:08,310 --> 00:26:10,045
The fake sugar hydration drink
618
00:26:10,145 --> 00:26:12,314
is considered
not suitable for children
619
00:26:12,414 --> 00:26:14,216
and yet kids
are literally fighting
620
00:26:14,316 --> 00:26:16,819
to get their hands
on this limited edition.
621
00:26:16,919 --> 00:26:20,622
I'll be covering the whole thing
live here on my OnlyFans page.
622
00:26:20,723 --> 00:26:23,959
Just DM me if there's anything
custom you'd like to see.
623
00:26:24,059 --> 00:26:25,594
Dude, this is fucking crazy!
624
00:26:25,695 --> 00:26:27,897
There's never gonna be
enough Cred for everybody!
625
00:26:27,997 --> 00:26:30,800
Oh, my God. No. No!
626
00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:32,601
It's fucking Spencer Hollis.
627
00:26:32,702 --> 00:26:34,670
Hey, stop pushing, kid.
628
00:26:34,770 --> 00:26:36,906
What's he doing here,
that dirty son a bitch?
629
00:26:37,006 --> 00:26:38,440
He fucking ditched school
to come get Cred
630
00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:40,943
and he doesn't even like it!
He's a fucking poser!
631
00:26:41,043 --> 00:26:45,681
We want Cred! We want Cred!
We want Cred!
632
00:26:45,781 --> 00:26:48,083
The delivery truck!
633
00:26:48,183 --> 00:26:51,220
(screaming)
634
00:26:52,387 --> 00:26:53,388
Ah!
635
00:26:53,488 --> 00:26:55,090
-Ah! Get away!
-Give me Cred!
636
00:26:55,190 --> 00:26:57,893
You're all a bunch
of animals! Ah!
637
00:26:57,993 --> 00:26:59,695
Cred! Give me the Cred!
638
00:26:59,795 --> 00:27:01,096
I got to have Cred!
639
00:27:01,196 --> 00:27:04,700
We want Cred! We want Cred!
640
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,202
Okay, go, go, go!
641
00:27:08,103 --> 00:27:09,338
Okay, okay, it's here,
you bastards.
642
00:27:09,438 --> 00:27:10,873
-Come in and-- Ah!
-I was here--
643
00:27:10,973 --> 00:27:13,375
Tweek's not gonna make it,
you guys.
644
00:27:13,475 --> 00:27:14,910
(screaming)
645
00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:18,047
-Where is it?
-Where's the Cred?
646
00:27:18,147 --> 00:27:20,015
(screaming)
647
00:27:20,115 --> 00:27:21,583
It's over there!
648
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:22,952
Give me Cred!
649
00:27:23,052 --> 00:27:25,620
Me first! Me first!
650
00:27:27,656 --> 00:27:29,258
Give me the Cred!
651
00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,128
Ah! Ah!
652
00:27:33,228 --> 00:27:35,898
There's some, right there! Ah!
653
00:27:35,998 --> 00:27:38,167
It's gone! It's all gone!
654
00:27:38,267 --> 00:27:41,070
(easy listening music playing)
655
00:27:43,072 --> 00:27:44,740
Mom!
656
00:27:45,775 --> 00:27:46,842
Spencer?
657
00:27:46,942 --> 00:27:49,411
Start the car! Start the car!
658
00:27:49,511 --> 00:27:51,213
Jesus Christ!
659
00:27:51,313 --> 00:27:53,348
Start the fucking car, Mom!
660
00:27:53,448 --> 00:27:55,584
Spencer's getting away
with the Cred!
661
00:27:55,684 --> 00:27:57,086
(engine revving)
662
00:27:57,186 --> 00:27:58,653
(tires squeal)
663
00:27:59,621 --> 00:28:01,656
No!
664
00:28:02,457 --> 00:28:05,494
Well, these are extremely
impressive numbers.
665
00:28:05,594 --> 00:28:08,497
It looks like your content's
getting a lot of views online.
666
00:28:08,597 --> 00:28:09,799
Yeah, thanks.
667
00:28:09,899 --> 00:28:11,400
But you see,
what I'm trying to learn now
668
00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:13,335
is how to take
all the views I'm getting
669
00:28:13,435 --> 00:28:15,704
on like Instagram and stuff
and use them
670
00:28:15,805 --> 00:28:17,239
to make myself bigger.
671
00:28:17,339 --> 00:28:19,074
Well, we can help you with that.
672
00:28:19,174 --> 00:28:20,175
You know, to really succeed,
673
00:28:20,275 --> 00:28:21,676
you gotta ask yourself:
674
00:28:21,777 --> 00:28:24,814
What is it that you want
to achieve as an influencer?
675
00:28:24,914 --> 00:28:27,649
Well, what I really want to do
676
00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:29,484
is beat my wife.
677
00:28:32,454 --> 00:28:33,989
You want to beat your wife?
678
00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:35,858
I mean, don't we all?
679
00:28:35,958 --> 00:28:37,259
I-I don't understand,
680
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,795
you want to beat your wife
on Instagram?
681
00:28:39,895 --> 00:28:41,196
I want to beat her on Instagram,
682
00:28:41,296 --> 00:28:42,798
I want to beat her on TikTok,
683
00:28:42,898 --> 00:28:45,667
but mostly I want to beat
the shit out of her on OnlyFans
684
00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:47,402
and make a lot
of money doing it.
685
00:28:47,502 --> 00:28:50,472
Hmm. Okay, well, if you can
get the kids to watch
686
00:28:50,572 --> 00:28:52,241
then we can find you a sponsor.
687
00:28:52,341 --> 00:28:54,676
Organizations will do anything
to reach kids these days.
688
00:28:54,776 --> 00:28:56,611
Oh, yeah, yeah,
but, see, my content
689
00:28:56,711 --> 00:28:58,881
actually isn't suitable
for children.
690
00:28:58,981 --> 00:29:00,883
Right. I mean, the data shows
691
00:29:00,983 --> 00:29:03,652
kids aren't the main audience
for any of this stuff, right?
692
00:29:03,752 --> 00:29:06,521
-Right.
-Right.
693
00:29:06,621 --> 00:29:09,691
Mr. Marsh, the thing is,
a sponsor not only gets you cash
694
00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:12,327
but they also help
you push that algorithm
695
00:29:12,427 --> 00:29:14,663
so that their message
is heard through you.
696
00:29:14,763 --> 00:29:16,131
Oh, really?
697
00:29:16,231 --> 00:29:17,732
Yeah, there's gonna be
a lot of companies
698
00:29:17,833 --> 00:29:20,569
that want to pay you to show
your videos to "not kids."
699
00:29:20,669 --> 00:29:22,571
But what we want to do
is get these sponsors
700
00:29:22,671 --> 00:29:24,706
to bid against each other
for your audience.
701
00:29:24,806 --> 00:29:27,009
That's when you become
a big influencer.
702
00:29:27,109 --> 00:29:30,012
And then you can beat
your wife as much as you want.
703
00:29:30,112 --> 00:29:32,447
Wow.
704
00:30:00,809 --> 00:30:02,744
(fire crackling)
705
00:30:21,730 --> 00:30:22,831
There's nothing.
706
00:30:22,932 --> 00:30:24,466
Just two more
broken Cred bottles.
707
00:30:24,566 --> 00:30:27,136
And a couple of cans
of SpaghettiOs.
708
00:30:32,041 --> 00:30:33,842
I don't think I can go back.
709
00:30:33,943 --> 00:30:35,710
Go back to what?
710
00:30:35,810 --> 00:30:37,879
Spencer Hollis
has all the Cred now.
711
00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:40,315
Tomorrow, he'll start
his own affinity group
712
00:30:40,415 --> 00:30:42,317
and not let any of us in.
713
00:30:42,417 --> 00:30:45,287
Don't you guys think
this is all fucked up?
714
00:30:45,387 --> 00:30:47,689
Yeah, fucked up 'cause of you.
715
00:30:47,789 --> 00:30:49,824
No, I mean what
they're doing to us.
716
00:30:49,925 --> 00:30:52,827
Look at this. My influencer
told me to come down here.
717
00:30:52,928 --> 00:30:54,563
He knew there wasn't gonna
be enough Cred for everyone.
718
00:30:54,663 --> 00:30:56,231
It's like--
It's like they wanted to create
719
00:30:56,331 --> 00:30:59,368
this false scarcity.
Give all us kids FOMO.
720
00:30:59,468 --> 00:31:02,104
If anyone's a FOMO,
Clyde, it's you.
721
00:31:02,204 --> 00:31:05,307
You guys aren't listening.
We've been manipulated.
722
00:31:05,407 --> 00:31:07,209
If kids are willing to fight
and die over this,
723
00:31:07,309 --> 00:31:09,511
then what else would they be
willing to fight and die over?
724
00:31:09,611 --> 00:31:11,713
Nobody in school cared
about hydration drinks
725
00:31:11,813 --> 00:31:13,082
three weeks ago.
726
00:31:13,182 --> 00:31:15,584
My influencer convinced me
to come down here.
727
00:31:15,684 --> 00:31:18,120
What else is
he convincing me to do?
728
00:31:18,220 --> 00:31:20,822
So, maybe if we find
your influencer,
729
00:31:20,922 --> 00:31:22,057
then he can give us Cred?
730
00:31:22,157 --> 00:31:23,325
No!
731
00:31:23,425 --> 00:31:25,294
No, no, no.
I like your angle, Clyde.
732
00:31:25,394 --> 00:31:26,962
Maybe this whole thing
is a sham.
733
00:31:27,062 --> 00:31:28,897
If we can make
the whole thing look stupid,
734
00:31:28,998 --> 00:31:30,699
then we make a Cred
affinity group look stupid.
735
00:31:30,799 --> 00:31:32,867
Then Spencer Hollis will
have nothing to keep us out of.
736
00:31:32,968 --> 00:31:35,537
I just know there's more
to all this than we think.
737
00:31:35,637 --> 00:31:37,639
I know what town
my influencer lives in.
738
00:31:37,739 --> 00:31:39,741
I want some goddamn answers.
739
00:31:39,841 --> 00:31:41,176
Tweek, Butters,
740
00:31:41,276 --> 00:31:42,777
gather up all the Pop-Tarts
and SpaghettiOs you can.
741
00:31:42,877 --> 00:31:45,947
We move out at
oh-ninety-two-hundred.
742
00:31:54,089 --> 00:31:55,524
Can I help you?
743
00:31:55,624 --> 00:31:57,426
Yeah, hi, I'm a big influencer?
744
00:31:57,526 --> 00:32:00,429
My agent sent me here
to find a sponsor?
745
00:32:00,529 --> 00:32:03,332
-Name.
-Uh, Randy Marsh?
746
00:32:03,432 --> 00:32:05,067
It's with five Rs
because there was already
747
00:32:05,167 --> 00:32:07,336
a Randy Marsh on TikTok.
748
00:32:07,436 --> 00:32:08,937
Put this around your neck.
Through that door
749
00:32:09,038 --> 00:32:10,839
and wait with
the other influencers.
750
00:32:10,939 --> 00:32:12,407
Oh, okay, thanks.
751
00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:17,712
Okay, influencers, follow me,
752
00:32:17,812 --> 00:32:19,581
stand in a straight line
and step forward
753
00:32:19,681 --> 00:32:21,683
when your number is called.
754
00:32:26,755 --> 00:32:28,223
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
755
00:32:28,323 --> 00:32:30,325
We have some incredible
influencers available today.
756
00:32:30,425 --> 00:32:32,394
They are all
complete freelancers
757
00:32:32,494 --> 00:32:34,396
and looking for sponsors.
758
00:32:34,496 --> 00:32:37,899
First off, we have
influencer number 394
759
00:32:37,999 --> 00:32:39,368
This is BlinkyBlankyGirl.
760
00:32:39,468 --> 00:32:41,403
She has over 10,000 views
on Instagram,
761
00:32:41,503 --> 00:32:43,272
6,800 on TikTok
762
00:32:43,372 --> 00:32:45,207
and is up-and-coming
on Meta and X.
763
00:32:45,307 --> 00:32:46,708
Who would like to own
this influencer?
764
00:32:46,808 --> 00:32:48,977
We'll start the bidding at 20.
20, do I hear 20?
765
00:32:49,078 --> 00:32:50,579
There's 20. Do I hear 25, 25?
766
00:32:50,679 --> 00:32:54,049
Let's hear 25, 25, 30.
(gibberish)
767
00:32:54,149 --> 00:32:55,517
25 from Mattel Toys.
768
00:32:55,617 --> 00:32:57,486
Mattel Toys now
the highest bidder at 25.
769
00:32:57,586 --> 00:33:01,756
25, who's gonna go for 30?
30, 30. (gibberish)
770
00:33:01,856 --> 00:33:03,858
30! 30 from Lunchables!
Let's go 50.
771
00:33:03,958 --> 00:33:05,360
50 now, who wants
the influencer?
772
00:33:05,460 --> 00:33:07,862
-50, 50. (gibberish)
-100!
773
00:33:07,962 --> 00:33:11,366
100! 100 from the Chinese
government! Can we go 150?
774
00:33:11,466 --> 00:33:13,735
150? (gibberish)
775
00:33:13,835 --> 00:33:15,604
150, 150, yes!
776
00:33:15,704 --> 00:33:17,372
Stoli Vodka at 150.
777
00:33:17,472 --> 00:33:19,040
150, the current bid
from Stoli Vodka.
778
00:33:19,141 --> 00:33:20,442
What about you, Build-A-Bear?
779
00:33:20,542 --> 00:33:23,945
Do we hear from Build-A-Bear?
(gibberish)
780
00:33:24,045 --> 00:33:27,416
160! 160 from the NRA,
outbidding Stoli Vodka.
781
00:33:27,516 --> 00:33:29,751
Who wants to influence
the youngins more?
782
00:33:29,851 --> 00:33:31,486
(gibberish)
783
00:33:31,586 --> 00:33:33,488
170 from Voices for Ukraine.
784
00:33:33,588 --> 00:33:35,290
Don't let them
outbid you, Russia.
785
00:33:35,390 --> 00:33:37,459
No? Chinese government? No?
786
00:33:37,559 --> 00:33:40,662
Sold to Voices for Ukraine.
Thank you.
787
00:33:40,762 --> 00:33:43,432
I don't understand
what happened.
788
00:33:43,532 --> 00:33:44,733
Just keep making
your stupid videos,
789
00:33:44,833 --> 00:33:46,168
they'll tell you what to say.
790
00:33:46,268 --> 00:33:49,104
Okay, next up we have
influencer number 226.
791
00:33:49,204 --> 00:33:51,940
This is Kevinlovesoranges.
792
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,377
Over six million views
on TikTok, 4,600 on Instagram
793
00:33:55,477 --> 00:33:57,246
and a small following
on X and Meta.
794
00:33:57,346 --> 00:34:00,048
Who wants Kevinlovesoranges
to push their agenda?
795
00:34:00,149 --> 00:34:02,951
We'll start at 40, 40.
China in at 40, China at 40.
796
00:34:03,051 --> 00:34:06,321
Who's gonna go 50?
Russia with 50. (gibberish)
797
00:34:06,421 --> 00:34:08,690
55, 60, Big Pharma at 60.
798
00:34:08,790 --> 00:34:10,459
60. (gibberish)
Kellogg's Cereal.
799
00:34:10,559 --> 00:34:11,860
(gibberish) Ravenclaw Casinos.
800
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,362
(gibberish)
Influence the children.
801
00:34:13,462 --> 00:34:15,764
Can I hear 70? Last call for 70.
802
00:34:15,864 --> 00:34:17,065
(gibberish)
803
00:34:17,166 --> 00:34:20,068
Sold to the Canadian government,
congratulations.
804
00:34:20,169 --> 00:34:22,904
Our next influencer, number 427.
805
00:34:23,004 --> 00:34:25,274
This is Randy Marrrrrsh.
806
00:34:25,374 --> 00:34:28,243
We'll start the bidding at 50.
50, do I hear 50? 50?
807
00:34:28,343 --> 00:34:30,845
(gibberish)
808
00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:33,648
(gibberish slows)
809
00:34:33,748 --> 00:34:35,950
50? No? Come on, Mattel Toys.
Let's hear from you.
810
00:34:36,050 --> 00:34:37,752
How about 40? 40?
811
00:34:37,852 --> 00:34:39,087
How about 40, let's do 40?
812
00:34:39,188 --> 00:34:41,323
(gibberish)
813
00:34:41,423 --> 00:34:43,625
(gibberish slows)
814
00:34:44,559 --> 00:34:46,661
FBI AGENT:
Freeze! Nobody move!
815
00:34:48,297 --> 00:34:50,432
(people screaming)
816
00:34:53,435 --> 00:34:54,336
Up here! He's up here!
817
00:34:54,436 --> 00:34:56,505
Are you Randy Marrrrrsh?
818
00:34:56,605 --> 00:34:58,507
-Yeah?
-All right, we got him.
819
00:34:58,607 --> 00:34:59,708
Hands behind your back.
820
00:34:59,808 --> 00:35:01,376
Me? I didn't do anything.
821
00:35:01,476 --> 00:35:03,712
I'm just trying
to beat my wife. (chokes)
822
00:35:03,812 --> 00:35:06,981
On your knees!
Hands behind your back now!
823
00:35:07,782 --> 00:35:09,751
(knocking on door)
824
00:35:10,619 --> 00:35:12,921
Hello? Logan LaDouche?
825
00:35:13,021 --> 00:35:16,191
-Hello? We know you're in there.
-(lock clicks)
826
00:35:18,860 --> 00:35:21,463
Go away.
I'm in enough trouble as it is.
827
00:35:21,563 --> 00:35:23,398
Look, dude, we just want
to talk to you, okay?
828
00:35:23,498 --> 00:35:25,367
No, not okay. I'm in hiding.
829
00:35:25,467 --> 00:35:26,968
How did you guys find me?
830
00:35:27,068 --> 00:35:28,770
Dude, if you're in hiding,
you shouldn't probably post
831
00:35:28,870 --> 00:35:30,972
videos of yourself
at the motel you're hiding in.
832
00:35:31,072 --> 00:35:34,743
Shit. Shit,
I just can't help myself.
833
00:35:37,946 --> 00:35:40,649
Brah, we need to know
the truth about Cred.
834
00:35:40,749 --> 00:35:44,085
I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't mean to cause a riot.
835
00:35:44,185 --> 00:35:46,321
Did Cred want us all
to kill each other?
836
00:35:47,222 --> 00:35:50,492
If you found me,
then so can they. Just go.
837
00:35:50,592 --> 00:35:52,527
Okay, okay, fine,
Mr. Influencer,
838
00:35:52,627 --> 00:35:54,763
we'll leave.
(shouts)
839
00:35:54,863 --> 00:35:57,399
-Yeah.
-(shouts) What the fuck
are you doing?
840
00:35:57,499 --> 00:35:59,200
Where's the Cred?
You got some Cred?
841
00:35:59,301 --> 00:36:00,635
Butters, Butters, calm down.
842
00:36:00,735 --> 00:36:02,271
They're gonna take me out, man.
843
00:36:02,371 --> 00:36:05,106
I should just turn myself in.
I'll be safer in jail.
844
00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:07,276
Listen, dude, I went to Pueblo
'cause of you.
845
00:36:07,376 --> 00:36:08,977
Why did you tell us
we could get Mega Cred
846
00:36:09,077 --> 00:36:10,545
when you knew
there wasn't enough?
847
00:36:10,645 --> 00:36:12,681
Brah, I don't even
drink that crap.
848
00:36:12,781 --> 00:36:14,215
Don't you get it, man?
849
00:36:14,316 --> 00:36:16,951
I'm just this tiny little piece
of a very big lie.
850
00:36:17,051 --> 00:36:19,053
You guys are all
being manipulated.
851
00:36:19,153 --> 00:36:21,256
I trusted you.
I've watched all your videos,
852
00:36:21,356 --> 00:36:23,525
and you told me to be strong
and never give up.
853
00:36:23,625 --> 00:36:25,494
That's all just Cred
messing with me?
854
00:36:25,594 --> 00:36:27,996
Don't you get it?
I don't work for Cred.
855
00:36:28,096 --> 00:36:30,599
The Cred is just there
to get views, man.
856
00:36:30,699 --> 00:36:32,267
'Cause kids love it so much.
857
00:36:32,367 --> 00:36:35,203
But if Cred isn't your sponsor,
then-then who is?
858
00:36:35,304 --> 00:36:38,840
If you knew,
it would make you sick.
859
00:36:39,808 --> 00:36:42,411
They just use you and Cred
to get to us,
860
00:36:42,511 --> 00:36:44,078
and those higher-up people
861
00:36:44,178 --> 00:36:45,947
can get us
some limited-edition Cred?
862
00:36:46,047 --> 00:36:48,983
-Who has the Cred?
-Butters, Jesus.
863
00:36:53,622 --> 00:36:55,390
RANDY:
Oh, there-there she is.
864
00:36:55,490 --> 00:36:57,125
Hey, Sharon.
865
00:36:57,225 --> 00:36:58,693
This is my wife, Sharon.
866
00:36:58,793 --> 00:37:00,929
She's an OnlyFans model
just like me.
867
00:37:01,029 --> 00:37:03,865
We are both legally
supplementing our income.
868
00:37:03,965 --> 00:37:06,234
So you work
with your husband, ma'am?
869
00:37:06,335 --> 00:37:08,903
No, we have very different
OnlyFans accounts.
870
00:37:09,003 --> 00:37:10,905
I could never do what he does.
871
00:37:11,005 --> 00:37:13,007
Thanks, honey, it's nice for you
to finally admit it.
872
00:37:13,107 --> 00:37:15,677
Now I'd like to know
what I'm being detained for.
873
00:37:15,777 --> 00:37:17,546
Exposing children
to pornography,
874
00:37:17,646 --> 00:37:19,247
soliciting nude images
to a minor,
875
00:37:19,348 --> 00:37:20,582
child endangerment...
876
00:37:20,682 --> 00:37:22,351
Oh, come on, like it's just me?
877
00:37:22,451 --> 00:37:23,918
Everybody's doing it.
878
00:37:24,018 --> 00:37:26,187
There's an entire network
where everyone just pretends
879
00:37:26,287 --> 00:37:28,056
Internet platforms
aren't made for children
880
00:37:28,156 --> 00:37:31,225
but they all auction our kids
to the highest bidder.
881
00:37:32,260 --> 00:37:35,830
You seem like some kind of
influencer expert.
882
00:37:35,930 --> 00:37:37,999
Would you say these things
on record?
883
00:37:38,099 --> 00:37:39,901
No, 'cause
I'm a sovereign citizen,
884
00:37:40,001 --> 00:37:42,537
and I don't need to tell you
anything. (blows raspberry)
885
00:37:42,637 --> 00:37:45,674
-Randy, you need to cooperate.
-Why?
886
00:37:45,774 --> 00:37:48,042
I'll tell you why, scumbag.
887
00:37:48,142 --> 00:37:50,512
Your posts drew in
a lot of children,
888
00:37:50,612 --> 00:37:52,481
and they like to copy
what they see.
889
00:37:52,581 --> 00:37:56,351
So then kids started creating
their own erotic content
890
00:37:56,451 --> 00:37:58,286
based on yours.
891
00:37:58,387 --> 00:38:00,355
* *
892
00:38:00,455 --> 00:38:02,156
-What?
-That's right.
893
00:38:02,256 --> 00:38:05,026
We've just found
sexuality explicit,
894
00:38:05,126 --> 00:38:08,262
pornographic images of minors.
895
00:38:08,363 --> 00:38:10,965
I warn you,
what you are about to see
896
00:38:11,065 --> 00:38:14,436
is extremely disturbing
and graphic.
897
00:38:14,536 --> 00:38:16,771
* *
898
00:38:26,381 --> 00:38:29,518
Oh, God. Ugh.
899
00:38:29,618 --> 00:38:31,085
Oh, don't close your eyes now.
900
00:38:31,185 --> 00:38:34,255
You think these miners deserved
to be treated like this?
901
00:38:44,833 --> 00:38:47,936
What have I done? I had no idea.
902
00:38:48,036 --> 00:38:51,105
Randy, you knew kids were
watching your content.
903
00:38:51,205 --> 00:38:53,742
Yeah, but I never knew
it would lead to...
904
00:38:53,842 --> 00:38:55,944
pornographic images of miners.
905
00:38:56,044 --> 00:38:57,946
God, it's disgusting.
906
00:38:58,046 --> 00:39:00,982
Being an influencer
is disgusting.
907
00:39:01,082 --> 00:39:03,518
All right, I'm gonna tell you
everything I know
908
00:39:03,618 --> 00:39:05,554
about how the system works.
909
00:39:05,654 --> 00:39:07,255
This has to stop.
910
00:39:08,189 --> 00:39:09,458
Hey, what's up, guys?
911
00:39:09,558 --> 00:39:11,059
Just wanted to let you all know
that I think
912
00:39:11,159 --> 00:39:12,527
maybe I'm gonna get killed
or arrested,
913
00:39:12,627 --> 00:39:14,463
so I'm hiding out
in this motel room.
914
00:39:14,563 --> 00:39:17,098
Be sure to like and subscribe.
It really helps the channel out.
915
00:39:17,198 --> 00:39:18,967
Dude, will you stop
making videos?
916
00:39:19,067 --> 00:39:21,002
I don't know what else
to do, okay?
917
00:39:21,102 --> 00:39:23,738
All I've ever done
is make fucking videos.
918
00:39:23,838 --> 00:39:25,607
But for who?
You said it wasn't for Cred,
919
00:39:25,707 --> 00:39:27,141
so then who sponsors you?
920
00:39:27,241 --> 00:39:29,243
LOGAN:
I just wanted to be
a big influencer.
921
00:39:29,343 --> 00:39:31,580
So I got put on this stage
and I was auctioned off
922
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,181
to the highest bidder.
923
00:39:33,281 --> 00:39:36,150
People will pay anything to push
their agenda on you guys.
924
00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:38,419
What, you mean, like, the
Chinese government or something?
925
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,322
I'm sponsored by people worse
than the Chinese government.
926
00:39:41,422 --> 00:39:43,925
I can't tell you who they are,
because then the companies
927
00:39:44,025 --> 00:39:46,327
that run the whole system
will have me killed.
928
00:39:46,427 --> 00:39:48,362
We deserve to know
who's been manipulating us.
929
00:39:48,463 --> 00:39:51,800
Tell us the truth and we'll
make sure you're safe, okay?
930
00:39:52,601 --> 00:39:54,102
You promise?
931
00:39:54,202 --> 00:39:56,505
Yes, we promise.
932
00:39:56,605 --> 00:39:58,206
Fine.
933
00:39:58,306 --> 00:40:00,975
The truth is,
I'm being paid by...
934
00:40:01,075 --> 00:40:03,311
-(gunshot)
-(grunts)
935
00:40:03,411 --> 00:40:05,146
Whoops!
936
00:40:07,849 --> 00:40:09,417
-(screams)
-Okay, okay.
937
00:40:09,518 --> 00:40:12,120
We don't care who's trying
to influence us!
938
00:40:12,921 --> 00:40:15,724
(sirens wailing)
939
00:40:15,824 --> 00:40:18,026
(tires screeching)
940
00:40:18,126 --> 00:40:19,393
The game is up, scumbag.
941
00:40:19,494 --> 00:40:22,030
We know about
the whole operation.
942
00:40:24,465 --> 00:40:26,167
-(megaphone static)
-We know everything.
943
00:40:26,267 --> 00:40:28,870
The influencers are being paid
by organizations
944
00:40:28,970 --> 00:40:32,073
to knowingly influence children.
945
00:40:33,775 --> 00:40:35,510
-(megaphone static)
-ASSASSIN: The data shows
that consumers
946
00:40:35,610 --> 00:40:39,848
of social media platforms are
predominately adults over 21.
947
00:40:39,948 --> 00:40:41,315
Oh, come on.
948
00:40:41,415 --> 00:40:43,417
Within tech companies,
it's an open secret
949
00:40:43,518 --> 00:40:47,656
that millions of users are
actually under the age of 13.
950
00:40:47,756 --> 00:40:49,958
ASSASSIN:
Tech companies
are working diligently
951
00:40:50,058 --> 00:40:52,260
to find ways to make
the Internet safer for children,
952
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:53,895
but these methods
are often criticized
953
00:40:53,995 --> 00:40:56,097
for violating free speech.
954
00:40:56,197 --> 00:40:59,768
Okay, and tech companies
use those assertions
955
00:40:59,868 --> 00:41:03,938
and their endless cash to keep
regulations tied up in court
956
00:41:04,038 --> 00:41:07,942
so they can continue
to profit off of our kids.
957
00:41:08,042 --> 00:41:09,944
(megaphone static)
958
00:41:10,044 --> 00:41:13,948
Okay, well, you'll never
take me alive, copper.
959
00:41:15,850 --> 00:41:17,418
(shouts)
960
00:41:20,622 --> 00:41:24,225
He's still alive.
Let's get City General out here.
961
00:41:27,461 --> 00:41:31,099
Who do you work for?
Who's trying to influence me?
962
00:41:33,702 --> 00:41:34,769
(grunts)
963
00:41:34,869 --> 00:41:37,105
(babbles)
964
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,374
He's just the middleman, kids.
965
00:41:40,474 --> 00:41:44,312
Whoever was trying to influence
you is still a mystery.
966
00:41:49,618 --> 00:41:51,285
(brakes hiss)
967
00:41:58,292 --> 00:42:00,561
Hey, fellas, I got an idea.
968
00:42:00,662 --> 00:42:03,031
How about we just keep
our affinity group,
969
00:42:03,131 --> 00:42:04,599
but instead of it being
about Cred,
970
00:42:04,699 --> 00:42:07,702
it's just about how proud we are
of who we are.
971
00:42:07,802 --> 00:42:10,038
No, they won't let us do that,
Butters, 'cause we're white.
972
00:42:10,138 --> 00:42:11,405
White people can't be in groups
talking about
973
00:42:11,505 --> 00:42:13,474
how proud they are,
it doesn't fly.
974
00:42:13,574 --> 00:42:14,876
Dang it.
975
00:42:14,976 --> 00:42:16,745
Well, then, I guess
we just got to accept
976
00:42:16,845 --> 00:42:18,479
that we're gonna
go to school tomorrow
977
00:42:18,579 --> 00:42:20,348
and get totally boned.
978
00:42:20,448 --> 00:42:21,683
Yep.
979
00:42:21,783 --> 00:42:23,117
(thudding)
980
00:42:23,217 --> 00:42:26,387
Hey, look, you guys. It's Cred.
981
00:42:27,355 --> 00:42:29,390
(engine running)
982
00:42:32,260 --> 00:42:35,496
Mr. Marsh? What are you doing
with all that Cred?
983
00:42:35,596 --> 00:42:39,300
I'm putting it where it belongs,
in the garbage.
984
00:42:41,202 --> 00:42:43,137
But that's, like, Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
985
00:42:43,237 --> 00:42:45,006
Do you know what that's worth?
986
00:42:45,106 --> 00:42:46,474
Yeah, I know what it's worth.
987
00:42:46,574 --> 00:42:48,576
It's worth gold
to all the people in the world
988
00:42:48,677 --> 00:42:51,512
who want to use social media
to influence children.
989
00:42:51,612 --> 00:42:54,182
But there's more to life
than making money.
990
00:42:54,282 --> 00:42:57,719
And there's more to marriage
than just beating your wife.
991
00:42:57,819 --> 00:42:59,453
The bottom line is that
992
00:42:59,553 --> 00:43:02,156
all this social media
influencer garbage
993
00:43:02,256 --> 00:43:04,826
is not suitable for children.
994
00:43:04,926 --> 00:43:06,928
And if you're a kid
on social media,
995
00:43:07,028 --> 00:43:10,832
you have to know that someone
is always trying to get to you.
996
00:43:10,932 --> 00:43:13,267
All you have to do
is ask yourself,
997
00:43:13,367 --> 00:43:17,305
"Who is it that wants
to influence me the most?"
998
00:43:20,842 --> 00:43:23,311
Holy shit.
999
00:43:26,514 --> 00:43:28,950
Janice!
1000
00:43:30,518 --> 00:43:33,621
Oh, Clyde, where have you been?
We've been worried sick.
1001
00:43:33,722 --> 00:43:35,757
It was you, this whole time.
1002
00:43:35,857 --> 00:43:38,259
You've been trying
to influence me for months.
1003
00:43:38,359 --> 00:43:39,828
Clyde, you really should have
1004
00:43:39,928 --> 00:43:41,329
let your father know
where you were...
1005
00:43:41,429 --> 00:43:43,564
You've been paying an influencer
to try and reach me,
1006
00:43:43,664 --> 00:43:45,633
and you caused this whole
fucking mess!
1007
00:43:45,734 --> 00:43:48,102
What is this about, Janice?
1008
00:43:48,202 --> 00:43:52,506
I don't think people understand
how hard it is to be a stepmom.
1009
00:43:53,742 --> 00:43:55,543
You want to try
and teach your kids,
1010
00:43:55,643 --> 00:43:59,113
but they don't listen because
you're not their "real parent."
1011
00:44:00,281 --> 00:44:03,351
I just wanted to be
a good influence on you, Clyde.
1012
00:44:03,451 --> 00:44:05,186
But influencing kids these days
1013
00:44:05,286 --> 00:44:09,090
requires good lighting
and a quality microphone.
1014
00:44:09,958 --> 00:44:11,993
But why Cred?
If you're so against it,
1015
00:44:12,093 --> 00:44:13,627
then why have it
in all those videos?
1016
00:44:13,728 --> 00:44:16,230
That was just to get
your views, Clyde.
1017
00:44:16,330 --> 00:44:19,700
Your views
are so important to me,
1018
00:44:19,801 --> 00:44:21,535
because we never talk.
1019
00:44:21,635 --> 00:44:24,138
Maybe what I did
was all a bit much,
1020
00:44:24,238 --> 00:44:26,007
but look at us.
1021
00:44:26,107 --> 00:44:28,743
Here we are, talking.
1022
00:44:31,512 --> 00:44:34,015
Janice, can I call you "Mom"?
1023
00:44:34,115 --> 00:44:36,184
Yes, of course.
1024
00:44:36,284 --> 00:44:38,386
Fuck you, Mom!
1025
00:44:41,255 --> 00:44:43,457
(exhales):
Oh...
1026
00:44:44,292 --> 00:44:46,160
(indistinct chatter)
1027
00:44:47,328 --> 00:44:49,764
Whoa, Spencer,
is that Mega Cred?
1028
00:44:49,864 --> 00:44:51,265
Yeah, pretty cool, right?
1029
00:44:51,365 --> 00:44:53,301
"Pretty cool"?
How'd you get that?
1030
00:44:53,401 --> 00:44:55,804
Oh, I just went to this thing
in Pueblo. No big deal.
1031
00:44:55,904 --> 00:44:59,140
Everyone! Everyone, can I have
your attention, please?
1032
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:01,375
We have something really
important to tell you guys.
1033
00:45:01,475 --> 00:45:02,911
Tweek and Butters and I
have learned
1034
00:45:03,011 --> 00:45:04,478
a lot of things recently.
1035
00:45:04,578 --> 00:45:07,081
We have news
that you will all find shocking.
1036
00:45:07,181 --> 00:45:09,083
You see, we talked to Mr. Marsh,
1037
00:45:09,183 --> 00:45:11,319
and he gave us four bottles
1038
00:45:11,419 --> 00:45:13,888
of Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
1039
00:45:13,988 --> 00:45:15,323
(all gasping)
1040
00:45:15,423 --> 00:45:17,125
-(cheering, screaming)
-No, no, no. Back up.
1041
00:45:17,225 --> 00:45:19,560
This is for the Cred
affinity group only.
1042
00:45:19,660 --> 00:45:22,230
-You can look at our Cred,
but don't touch.
-All right!
1043
00:45:22,330 --> 00:45:24,765
Oh, oh, hey, Clyde.
1044
00:45:24,866 --> 00:45:26,500
Say, Clyde, you, uh,
1045
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,502
forgot your super special
Jelly Roll Cred
1046
00:45:28,602 --> 00:45:30,538
at the group meeting, remember?
1047
00:45:38,212 --> 00:45:40,048
It tastes amazing.
1048
00:45:40,148 --> 00:45:41,282
-(cheering)
-All right!
1049
00:45:41,382 --> 00:45:43,684
Yeah! Clyde's got Cred again!
1050
00:45:43,784 --> 00:45:45,820
(cheering)
1051
00:45:50,758 --> 00:45:52,793
* *
1052
00:46:22,323 --> 00:46:24,792
* *
75050
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