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All language subtitles for Shock Treatment 1981 HD

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:40,892 'Once upon a time, in a town not far from yours, 2 00:00:40,992 --> 00:00:43,936 'there lived a real fast guy. 3 00:00:44,036 --> 00:00:47,940 'His life was fast. His friends were fast. 4 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,235 'Even his food was fast. 5 00:00:51,335 --> 00:00:54,488 'But he was still not satisfied. 6 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,158 'He wanted to share his fast philosophy 7 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,952 'with someone else: 8 00:01:00,052 --> 00:01:02,496 'a beautiful girl. 9 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:06,417 'The trouble was she was in the arms of 10 00:01:06,517 --> 00:01:08,811 'another man.' 11 00:01:51,729 --> 00:01:53,731 Whoops! 12 00:02:19,381 --> 00:02:21,842 Good luck, honey. 13 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,189 - What are we gonna do, Janet? - It's all right, Brad. 14 00:02:52,289 --> 00:02:54,667 Everything's gonna be all right. 15 00:03:34,665 --> 00:03:37,651 ♪ You'll find happy hearts 16 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,321 ♪ And smiling faces 17 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,074 ♪ And tolerance for 18 00:03:43,174 --> 00:03:45,910 ♪ The ethnic races 19 00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:48,470 ♪ In Denton 20 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:54,085 ♪ You'll find a ramblin' rose 21 00:03:54,185 --> 00:03:56,854 ♪ And a picket fence 22 00:03:56,979 --> 00:03:58,839 ♪ Tenderness 23 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:02,176 ♪ And innocence 24 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,486 ♪ In Denton 25 00:04:06,363 --> 00:04:09,141 ♪ You'll find conference rooms 26 00:04:09,241 --> 00:04:12,103 ♪ And a children's playground 27 00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:16,190 ♪ Denton is a real okay town 28 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:20,027 ♪ Civic pride and civic duty 29 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,755 ♪ And Denton girls are 30 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:28,661 ♪ Full of beauty 31 00:04:28,761 --> 00:04:31,997 ♪ You may call us the goody-goody two shoes 32 00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:35,709 ♪ We're here to cheer you with the good news 33 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,587 ♪ That D-E-N-T-O-N 34 00:04:38,687 --> 00:04:41,382 ♪ Gets T-E-N That's ten out of ten 35 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,426 ♪ If you're looking for a life of leisure 36 00:04:44,526 --> 00:04:47,179 ♪ You're gonna get a whole lot to please ya 37 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:49,723 - ♪ Again and again - ♪ And again and again 38 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,034 ♪ And again 39 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,271 ♪ Denton, Denton 40 00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:58,315 ♪ You've got no pretension 41 00:04:58,415 --> 00:05:03,988 ♪ You're where the heart is You're okay 42 00:05:04,088 --> 00:05:06,407 ♪ Denton, Denton 43 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,577 ♪ I'd just like to mention 44 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,454 ♪ You're the home of youth 45 00:05:12,554 --> 00:05:15,166 ♪ You're America's truth 46 00:05:15,266 --> 00:05:20,396 ♪ You're Denton Denton, U.S.A. 47 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,856 ♪ This is the Mecca of America 48 00:05:22,982 --> 00:05:25,609 ♪ The Bethlehem of the West 49 00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:28,654 ♪ This is the birthplace of the virtuous 50 00:05:28,779 --> 00:05:31,156 ♪ The home of happiness 51 00:05:32,658 --> 00:05:35,619 ♪ Leisure-wise we're sure you will adapt 52 00:05:35,744 --> 00:05:38,205 ♪ Enjoy your stay Have a happy holiday 53 00:05:38,330 --> 00:05:44,253 ♪ And we'll all put Denton Denton on the map 54 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,238 ♪ Denton, Denton 55 00:05:46,338 --> 00:05:49,325 ♪ You've got no pretension 56 00:05:49,425 --> 00:05:54,430 ♪ You're where the heart is You're okay 57 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,558 ♪ Denton, Denton 58 00:05:57,683 --> 00:06:00,669 ♪ I'd just like to mention 59 00:06:00,769 --> 00:06:03,731 ♪ You're the home of youth 60 00:06:03,856 --> 00:06:06,650 ♪ You're America's truth 61 00:06:06,775 --> 00:06:11,280 ♪ You're Denton Denton, U.S.A. 62 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,642 ♪ Denton, Denton 63 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,728 ♪ You've got no pretension 64 00:06:17,828 --> 00:06:23,584 ♪ You're where the heart is You're okay 65 00:06:23,709 --> 00:06:26,028 ♪ Denton, Denton 66 00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:29,240 ♪ I'd just like to mention 67 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:33,010 ♪ You're the acceptable face 68 00:06:33,135 --> 00:06:35,220 ♪ Of the human race 69 00:06:35,346 --> 00:06:41,602 ♪ You're Denton Denton, U.S.A. ♪ 70 00:06:41,727 --> 00:06:44,463 Well, how about that? 71 00:06:44,563 --> 00:06:46,857 Wasn't that terrific? 72 00:06:46,982 --> 00:06:49,009 And now for, well, certainly... 73 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,762 my favourite part of the show... 74 00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:55,266 - and I sincerely hope yours at home. - Get the whole crowd. 75 00:06:55,366 --> 00:06:57,659 - Our regular in-depth discussion... - Dressing room. Right here. 76 00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:00,162 ...with Judge Oliver Wright, 77 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:05,125 Denton's leading social scientist. 78 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,069 - Judge Wright? - Mm-hmm. 79 00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:10,864 Did you enjoy our anthem? 80 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,117 In a way. 81 00:07:13,217 --> 00:07:15,869 I detect a note of reticence. 82 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,247 Are you perhaps one of those amongst us... 83 00:07:18,347 --> 00:07:23,727 who feel this emotive form of presentation is overly manipulative? 84 00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:26,422 Well, Betty, there are many ways 85 00:07:26,522 --> 00:07:29,566 that the spider may catch the fly. 86 00:07:29,691 --> 00:07:31,885 There are monetary inducements. 87 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:35,531 - Hi, Brad. Hi, Janet. Come for Marriage Maze? - 'Extortion.' 88 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,074 Seduction. 89 00:07:37,199 --> 00:07:40,811 I'm exhausted working on this documentary for Farley's new show. 90 00:07:40,911 --> 00:07:42,187 - Hmm? - 'Blackmail.' 91 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:44,565 - Farley Flavours, our new sponsor. - Oh. 92 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,650 - Whoo. - 'Prejudice.' 93 00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:50,029 I tell you, Janet, that guy's as close as we'll come 94 00:07:50,129 --> 00:07:52,406 to a successful man in this town. 95 00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:56,385 - 'And lies.' - 'Thank you, Judge Oliver Wright.' 96 00:07:56,510 --> 00:08:00,389 And now for a commercial break. 97 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:07,438 Okay, kids, let's hear the five F's for today. 98 00:08:07,563 --> 00:08:09,523 - "F" for... - Farley! 99 00:08:09,648 --> 00:08:11,692 - "F" for... - Flavours! 100 00:08:11,817 --> 00:08:13,610 - "F" for... - Fabulous! 101 00:08:13,735 --> 00:08:15,362 - "F" for... - Fast! 102 00:08:15,487 --> 00:08:17,197 - And "F" for... - Five! 103 00:08:22,786 --> 00:08:24,688 'First and foremost, 104 00:08:24,788 --> 00:08:26,774 'Farley Flavours' fabulous fast foods 105 00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:31,086 'feed and fortify families for a fabulous future.' 106 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:34,031 'Stand by for Marriage Maze. Strike Denton Dossier.' 107 00:08:34,131 --> 00:08:37,659 Thank you so much, Judge Wright, for another wonderful interview. 108 00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:41,747 Judge Wright? Oh, come on, Betty. First names surely. 109 00:08:41,847 --> 00:08:45,417 Oh. Oliver. You're so tolerant. 110 00:08:45,517 --> 00:08:47,920 Time for a coffee break before you rush off? 111 00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:52,508 I'd love to, that is if you don't mind being seen with an older man. 112 00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:54,635 Why, Oliver. 113 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:59,323 Since Ralph and I separated, maturity is something I look for in a man. 114 00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:03,852 - Hi, Ollie. - Hi, Betty. 115 00:09:03,952 --> 00:09:06,105 - Hi, Betty. - Hello, Neely. 116 00:09:06,205 --> 00:09:08,232 You keep up that high standard of interview 117 00:09:08,332 --> 00:09:11,360 and I'm gonna have to include you in Farley's documentary. 118 00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:14,655 You're so probing. 119 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,657 A free thinker. 120 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,967 Everything's free there. 121 00:09:21,512 --> 00:09:24,373 - Hi, Betty. The usual? - Plus one. 122 00:09:24,473 --> 00:09:27,835 There you go. Hi, Max. Hey, you gonna be watching Marriage Maze? 123 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:31,630 - Sure am. This could be Bert Schnick's finest hour. - Yeah. 124 00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:33,690 - Yeah? - Yeah. 125 00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:38,529 - This could be a major step forward for him. - Yeah, a leap in the dark. 126 00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:41,098 I better go check on the Bert. Otherwise... 127 00:09:41,198 --> 00:09:43,367 - Right. - Good luck. 128 00:09:43,492 --> 00:09:45,519 Okay. 129 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,938 'And here to bring your just desserts 130 00:09:48,038 --> 00:09:50,274 'and a recipe for a perfect marriage 131 00:09:50,374 --> 00:09:52,609 'is that gorgeous gourmet, 132 00:09:52,709 --> 00:09:54,945 'tossing the uproarious salad of life, 133 00:09:55,045 --> 00:09:58,449 'Marriage Maze host, Bert Schnick.' 134 00:09:58,549 --> 00:10:00,509 'Three seconds.' 135 00:10:09,726 --> 00:10:14,523 - Hoopla, Denton! - Hoopla, Bert! 136 00:10:22,364 --> 00:10:24,475 Thank you. Welcome. Thank you. 137 00:10:24,575 --> 00:10:28,729 Before we start I want to say one or two words about tomorrow night's great new show... 138 00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,789 The Faith Factory Sh... 139 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:36,028 And as a matter of fact, we have in the studio audience tonight 140 00:10:36,128 --> 00:10:38,363 the host and his lovely co-host. 141 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:41,658 Give a big hand, please, to Ralph Hapschatt 142 00:10:41,758 --> 00:10:44,886 and the vivacious Macy Struthers. 143 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,763 Hey, Ralph! 144 00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:53,729 Let's get a camera in there, for heaven's sake. 145 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:58,191 - Over the moon about that commercial, Macy. - Thanks, Bert. 146 00:10:58,317 --> 00:11:01,194 Got a good show lined up for us tomorrow night, Ralph? 147 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,447 You bet, Bert! 148 00:11:03,572 --> 00:11:08,410 Good! I'm gonna be there! Ain't we all, viewers? 149 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:12,122 'Macy Struthers with my husband. God, I must've been blind.' 150 00:11:12,247 --> 00:11:16,443 Still, the weaker the man, the dumber the blonde. 151 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,963 Isn't that Brad and Janet Majors sitting in the audience there? 152 00:11:20,088 --> 00:11:22,241 'What an ideal couple they are. 153 00:11:22,341 --> 00:11:25,927 'You know, more than anyone else in Denton, they represent the old values.' 154 00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:28,347 Ike would have been proud of them. 155 00:11:28,472 --> 00:11:33,293 And now, would the first couple who seem to have made a hash of their marriage 156 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:37,589 and cooked their goose, step this way, please! 157 00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:40,984 - You! - That's us, Brad. 158 00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:44,763 Come on. What's cooking up there? Come on down, you guys. 159 00:11:44,863 --> 00:11:47,199 Let's feel you. 160 00:11:47,324 --> 00:11:51,411 - I'm not going, Janet. - You've got to. Everyone's watching. 161 00:12:03,298 --> 00:12:07,077 Face the cameras. Face the cameras. 162 00:12:07,177 --> 00:12:09,079 Now introduce yourselves. 163 00:12:09,179 --> 00:12:12,265 - My name is Brad... - I'm Janet... Oh. Sorry. 164 00:12:12,391 --> 00:12:16,378 I'm Janet Majors, and this is my husband Brad. 165 00:12:16,478 --> 00:12:21,149 Hey, Brad, we've been hearing some bad things about you. Haven't we, Janet? 166 00:12:23,819 --> 00:12:27,447 - Haven't we, Janet? - Uh, yes, he needs help. 167 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:30,559 Help? Let's face it, Janet. 168 00:12:30,659 --> 00:12:33,036 Brad's an emotional cripple. 169 00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:40,293 'I know, I know.' 170 00:12:40,419 --> 00:12:44,548 It looks like Rest Home for this stupid old marriage, eh? 171 00:12:51,054 --> 00:12:53,432 Tell me, Janet. 'Do you watch Dentonvale? 172 00:12:53,557 --> 00:12:57,144 Uh, yes, I've caught it once or twice. 173 00:12:57,269 --> 00:13:00,172 That's right. DTV's most popular hospital series 174 00:13:00,272 --> 00:13:03,024 featuring those perennial favourites, Nation and Cosmo McKinley. 175 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,802 Neuro-specialists par excellence. 176 00:13:05,902 --> 00:13:08,029 I recommend, if you pardon my French, Janet, 177 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:11,324 that you send Brad to them for treatment. 178 00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:16,538 Oh, uh, well, I know he's a little boring, but neuro-specialists? 179 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:22,294 - That sounds a little drastic. - It's no use pussyfooting around, Janet. 180 00:13:22,419 --> 00:13:24,671 We have to cut quick and deep. 181 00:13:27,966 --> 00:13:31,453 McKinley? McKinley? 182 00:13:31,553 --> 00:13:33,580 - Bert brought them over from Europe. - Oh? 183 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:37,250 They had a very popular series together. It's still rerun in a lot of countries. 184 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:41,897 - You must have seen them in Dentonvale? - No, I never watch that. 185 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:45,817 I'm afraid there's only one solution. Isn't there, folks? 186 00:13:45,942 --> 00:13:48,695 One, two, three. 187 00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:51,364 Dentonvale! 188 00:13:52,783 --> 00:13:54,685 Hoopla! Don't go away! 189 00:13:54,785 --> 00:13:58,580 We'll be right back to see if Brad and Janet want to play or pass. 190 00:14:08,632 --> 00:14:10,492 Great. 191 00:14:10,592 --> 00:14:13,912 Congratulations. I think you've made a wise decision. 192 00:14:14,012 --> 00:14:16,723 - But... But I... - Janet? 193 00:14:16,848 --> 00:14:19,626 - I'm not going. - What do you mean, you're not going? 194 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,103 You'll ruin the show. Bert's made all the arrangements. 195 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,564 But I don't need treatment. 196 00:14:25,857 --> 00:14:28,860 'But you do need glasses, eh, stupid?' 197 00:14:28,985 --> 00:14:31,404 Doesn't he? 198 00:14:38,787 --> 00:14:44,543 I am sick of being humiliated by you! Bert's right. You're going. 199 00:14:44,668 --> 00:14:48,505 'It looks like Brad and Janet Majors have a big decision to make. 200 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:51,174 'Here's some more prizes to amaze here on Marriage Maze.' 201 00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:54,719 - ♪ Dear blender - You won't blend into the background... 202 00:14:54,845 --> 00:14:57,931 ♪ Won't you help a first offender 203 00:14:58,056 --> 00:15:02,185 - ♪ Oh, toaster... - 'Pop up in the popularity ratings...' 204 00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,771 ♪ Don't you put the burn on me 205 00:15:04,896 --> 00:15:09,484 - 'Just look at this.' - ♪ Refrigerator 206 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:13,154 ♪ Why are we always sooner or later 207 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:17,742 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 208 00:15:17,868 --> 00:15:20,328 'Living on a knife edge?' 209 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:23,248 - ♪ Dear knife drawer - 'Stay sharp with this keen knife.' 210 00:15:23,373 --> 00:15:26,459 ♪ Now won't you help me to face life more 211 00:15:26,585 --> 00:15:30,505 - ♪ Oh, trash can - You can-can with the trash can. 212 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:34,426 ♪ Don't you put the dirt on me 213 00:15:34,551 --> 00:15:37,554 ♪ Oh, percolator 214 00:15:37,679 --> 00:15:41,433 - ♪ Why are we always sooner or later - 'No toil, no trouble.' 215 00:15:41,558 --> 00:15:48,565 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 216 00:15:48,690 --> 00:15:51,760 ♪ Everything used to be okay 217 00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:53,845 ♪ But I've been had 218 00:15:53,945 --> 00:15:56,306 ♪ And, Brad I'm glad to say 219 00:15:56,406 --> 00:16:00,769 ♪ Is on his way 220 00:16:00,869 --> 00:16:03,997 ♪ Micro-digital awaker 221 00:16:04,122 --> 00:16:07,776 ♪ Why are we always sooner or later 222 00:16:07,876 --> 00:16:13,448 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 223 00:16:13,548 --> 00:16:16,968 - ♪ Shower curtain - 'Wash those blues away...' 224 00:16:17,093 --> 00:16:21,139 ♪ Won't you help me to be certain 225 00:16:21,264 --> 00:16:25,143 - ♪ Oh, toothpaste - 'Arm yourself to the teeth...' 226 00:16:25,268 --> 00:16:28,897 ♪ Don't you put the squeeze on me 227 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:32,192 ♪ Depilatator 228 00:16:32,317 --> 00:16:35,762 ♪ Why are we always sooner or later 229 00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:40,533 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 230 00:16:42,786 --> 00:16:46,665 'Now it's back to Marriage Maze. And for those of you who are Dentonvale watchers, 231 00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:48,567 'here's our surprise guest. 232 00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:52,362 - 'And here's Bert!' - Hey, folks! It's Ricky from the Rest Home. 233 00:16:52,462 --> 00:16:54,447 - Hey, Bert. - Hey, Ricky. 234 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,716 I've come for Mr. Majors. 235 00:16:56,841 --> 00:17:01,554 Brad will learn how to care in the surgical chair. 236 00:17:04,808 --> 00:17:08,895 - Nothing serious, I hope? - Oh, no. Just a routine check-up. 237 00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:13,066 Just a routine check-up, eh, viewers? 238 00:17:16,444 --> 00:17:18,613 'Come in.' 239 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,349 ♪ Tell me, spectator 240 00:17:21,449 --> 00:17:25,061 ♪ Why are we always sooner or later 241 00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:30,458 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night ♪ 242 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,241 'Well, Bert's done it again. 243 00:17:38,341 --> 00:17:40,994 'Another rocky marriage is headed for intensive care.' 244 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,555 The subject is committed. 245 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,268 As are we all. 246 00:17:48,393 --> 00:17:51,604 'Dentonvale. 247 00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:55,342 'The arrival. Introducing Brad and Janet Majors.' 248 00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:59,346 Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Majors. How wonderful to see you. 249 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,806 I'm Doctor Cosmo McKinley, 250 00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:04,809 and this is my sister and colleague, 251 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:07,829 Dr. Nation McKinley. 252 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:11,483 We understand you've been going through a rather trying time. 253 00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:13,585 Well, yes, we have. 254 00:18:13,710 --> 00:18:16,171 Now listen. There's... there's nothing really wrong with me. 255 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,465 Janet and I haven't been getting along too well lately 256 00:18:18,590 --> 00:18:21,760 and I've had a little... a little trouble... 257 00:18:24,679 --> 00:18:27,540 - Oh, Brad. - Ooh. 258 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,460 - Does he do this often? - No, he's never done this before. 259 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,687 Good. Then there's still hope. 260 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,756 Lots and lots of hope. 261 00:18:34,856 --> 00:18:37,175 If anyone can help Brad, we can. 262 00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:40,136 - Well, he does need help. - Nurse Ansalong, you've arrived. 263 00:18:40,236 --> 00:18:44,641 - Oh, that was real short notice because the other models... - Attend to Mr. Majors, Nurse. 264 00:18:44,741 --> 00:18:48,395 There are just one or two formalities that have to be dealt with, Mrs. Majors. 265 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,398 A contract to be signed. 266 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,608 Oh, could I do that later, please? 267 00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:55,960 Of course you can, Mrs. Majors. 268 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:02,592 Sign the contract tomorrow. 269 00:19:02,717 --> 00:19:06,788 Ouch! Mrs. Majors. Just one or two details. 270 00:19:06,888 --> 00:19:11,084 Does Brad have any living relatives... any blood relatives? 271 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:15,396 - No, he doesn't. Could I take care of this later? - Of course. 272 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,926 Why did you tell me not to sign now? 273 00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:24,489 Well, that way you get the first day free. 274 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:34,666 'Here's Bert, that eternal showbiz wiz, 275 00:19:34,791 --> 00:19:38,945 'with a family connection in the 30-Second Quiz.' 276 00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:42,632 As Janet's parents, this should be really easy. 277 00:19:42,757 --> 00:19:45,009 About Brad's family? 278 00:19:45,135 --> 00:19:47,787 Your last clue is... 279 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:50,874 mental instability. 280 00:19:50,974 --> 00:19:53,977 You have 30 seconds. 281 00:19:54,102 --> 00:19:57,272 Mental instability? 282 00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:01,317 - He was adopted, you know. - Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten. 283 00:20:01,442 --> 00:20:04,863 Well, I hadn't. I was worried about inherited craziness when they married. 284 00:20:04,988 --> 00:20:08,616 I said to Janet, "What do we know of his parents?" 285 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:12,312 - Which leads us to... - 'This afternoon's surprise prize, Bert... 286 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:17,250 'which is a delirious stay in that evergreen series Happy Homes, 287 00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:21,045 - 'with unlimited use of a new dream kitchen.' - Infantile regression? 288 00:20:21,171 --> 00:20:24,966 - You got it! - I got it! 289 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:28,678 - She got it! She got it! - I got it! 290 00:20:28,803 --> 00:20:30,430 I got it! 291 00:20:30,555 --> 00:20:33,099 She got it! 292 00:20:33,224 --> 00:20:37,437 Congratulations. Congratulations. And it's Happy Homes... 293 00:20:37,562 --> 00:20:40,857 to Harry and Emily Weiss of Denton. 294 00:20:45,153 --> 00:20:47,322 Aha. 295 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:51,117 I got it! I got it! 296 00:20:51,242 --> 00:20:53,812 She got it! She got it! 297 00:20:53,912 --> 00:20:56,940 In one. Infantile regression. 298 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,651 Our speciality! 299 00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:04,614 - Your speciality. - I can't wait to begin on him. 300 00:21:04,714 --> 00:21:06,908 Really, Bert, I don't know what we'd do without you. 301 00:21:07,008 --> 00:21:09,244 I must confess... 302 00:21:09,344 --> 00:21:13,915 the decision to have Brad committed was not strictly my own. 303 00:21:14,015 --> 00:21:15,917 No, of course. There's Janet. 304 00:21:16,017 --> 00:21:19,712 But if she was so keen on getting him in here, 305 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,881 why wouldn't she sign the contract? 306 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:25,301 No, it wasn't Janet exactly. 307 00:21:25,401 --> 00:21:30,223 - It was, in fact, your new sponsor. - Sponsor? 308 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:34,018 - Dentonvale has been sold. - Sold? 309 00:21:34,118 --> 00:21:36,146 Dear old Bert's settled everything. 310 00:21:36,246 --> 00:21:38,898 Ja, you endorse his Faith Factory... 311 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:42,794 - and he endorses your research. - He? 312 00:21:42,919 --> 00:21:47,006 How dare this person take advantage of my weakness! 313 00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:51,594 I don't think he intends to go that far. 314 00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:02,046 ♪ If only you knew 315 00:22:02,146 --> 00:22:07,177 ♪ How to win some prizes 316 00:22:07,277 --> 00:22:09,179 ♪ If only you knew 317 00:22:09,279 --> 00:22:13,658 ♪ How to play 318 00:22:13,783 --> 00:22:17,829 ♪ If you could sleep nights 319 00:22:17,954 --> 00:22:20,148 ♪ And stop your crying 320 00:22:20,248 --> 00:22:23,276 ♪ Then you might find out I still love you 321 00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:27,046 ♪ In my own way 322 00:22:28,631 --> 00:22:31,784 ♪ If that's not enough then I'm 323 00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:34,329 ♪ So sorry I met you 324 00:22:34,429 --> 00:22:36,456 ♪ It was almost like 325 00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:42,520 ♪ Leading you on 326 00:22:42,645 --> 00:22:45,965 ♪ But there's more to it all 327 00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:50,637 ♪ Than just wringing your heart out over something 328 00:22:50,737 --> 00:22:56,559 ♪ That keeps on going wrong 329 00:22:56,659 --> 00:23:00,146 ♪ So don't tell me you love me 330 00:23:00,246 --> 00:23:07,086 ♪ How am I supposed to know what that means 331 00:23:07,211 --> 00:23:09,839 ♪ No, don't sell emotion 332 00:23:09,964 --> 00:23:12,075 ♪ You can't buy devotion 333 00:23:12,175 --> 00:23:17,747 ♪ If you're falling apart at the seams 334 00:23:17,847 --> 00:23:21,042 ♪ I hope that you'll smile when you 335 00:23:21,142 --> 00:23:24,587 ♪ Reach your conclusion 336 00:23:24,687 --> 00:23:31,594 ♪ I hope that you'll know just what to say 337 00:23:31,694 --> 00:23:34,931 ♪ But if it should mean 338 00:23:35,031 --> 00:23:37,642 ♪ That the party is over 339 00:23:37,742 --> 00:23:41,604 ♪ You should know that I still love you 340 00:23:41,704 --> 00:23:44,649 ♪ You should know that I still love you 341 00:23:44,749 --> 00:23:49,879 ♪ You should know that I still love you 342 00:23:50,004 --> 00:23:52,131 ♪ In my own way 343 00:23:53,341 --> 00:23:55,802 ♪ In my own way 344 00:23:56,886 --> 00:23:59,472 ♪ In my own way 345 00:24:00,515 --> 00:24:01,933 ♪ In my own way ♪ 346 00:24:03,518 --> 00:24:06,045 - Oh, my poor baby. - Oh, Mom, it's Brad. 347 00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:10,091 I know. I know, baby. He's gonna get all the help he needs. 348 00:24:10,191 --> 00:24:14,137 - But in the meantime, look. For you. - What is it? 349 00:24:14,237 --> 00:24:16,389 They call it a new look at an old favourite. 350 00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:18,808 I copied it from The Window on the World show. 351 00:24:18,908 --> 00:24:21,561 - The Far East meets the Midwest. - Mom... 352 00:24:21,661 --> 00:24:24,063 It's just what the doctor ordered, I know. 353 00:24:24,163 --> 00:24:27,483 - Come on in. My favourite show's just started. - What show? 354 00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:30,420 Dentonvale. 355 00:24:43,724 --> 00:24:45,752 'Love starts in the home, 356 00:24:45,852 --> 00:24:49,981 'and where better to find this than in today's Happy Homes. 357 00:24:50,106 --> 00:24:54,093 'With guest star, Janet Majors.' 358 00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:57,638 'If you're sick of having the goodness boiled away out of your coffee, 359 00:24:57,738 --> 00:25:02,101 'replace that old perk of yours with a coffeemaker of prestigious distinction. 360 00:25:02,201 --> 00:25:06,706 'And be the envy of all with a coffeemaker that says it all.' 361 00:25:06,831 --> 00:25:09,375 'Oh, thanks.' 362 00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:14,280 'When that man of yours comes in from the big outdoors with a burning thirst 363 00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:16,949 'that only Lake Michigan could satisfy, 364 00:25:17,049 --> 00:25:22,914 'make sure there's a cold can of Krautmeister Light in the icebox. 365 00:25:23,014 --> 00:25:25,124 'He'll thank you for it. 366 00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:28,961 'And he'll thank Krautmeister.' 367 00:25:29,061 --> 00:25:32,799 For crying out loud, Emily. Leave her alone. She's not a kid. 368 00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:36,135 - Well, I wanted to see her in it. - It's really very nice. 369 00:25:36,235 --> 00:25:39,013 The material is imported. Taiwanese. 370 00:25:39,113 --> 00:25:41,808 Damn it, Emily. She's not interested. 371 00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:44,060 What are you trying to do, Harry, start an argument? 372 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,062 Don't you want your daughter to look pretty? 373 00:25:46,162 --> 00:25:48,064 Who's she got to look pretty for? 374 00:25:48,164 --> 00:25:50,483 - She's got a husband. - She's got a weirdo! 375 00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:54,737 I've never been able to afford the time to have a nervous breakdown! 376 00:25:54,837 --> 00:25:58,324 - Oh, poor Brad. - Thank God he was born an orphan. 377 00:25:58,424 --> 00:26:01,285 It would have killed his parents. 378 00:26:01,385 --> 00:26:04,956 And thank goodness he hasn't ended up like that Slepstrini boy. 379 00:26:05,056 --> 00:26:09,168 What are you talking about? Danny Slepstrini's a chip off the old block. 380 00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,712 I played 18 holes of golf with his father just last week, 381 00:26:11,812 --> 00:26:15,842 and Hank says that Danny's moved to New York to... better himself. 382 00:26:15,942 --> 00:26:18,177 He moved, all right... 383 00:26:18,277 --> 00:26:22,740 when they found him at the back of Wilson's Bakery... naked... 384 00:26:23,950 --> 00:26:26,827 with 15 other men. 385 00:26:26,953 --> 00:26:29,288 Mexicans. 386 00:26:38,381 --> 00:26:42,552 I'm gonna catch up on a few jobs that need doing outside! 387 00:26:45,096 --> 00:26:47,623 - You shouldn't have said that. - But why? 388 00:26:47,723 --> 00:26:50,101 Your father doesn't like Mexicans. 389 00:26:50,226 --> 00:26:52,311 'Your father doesn't like Mexicans.' 390 00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:01,888 ♪ A man should call the toss 391 00:27:01,988 --> 00:27:04,390 ♪ Wear the pants and be the boss 392 00:27:04,490 --> 00:27:06,642 ♪ A man should be the drake 393 00:27:06,742 --> 00:27:09,061 ♪ For his own damned sake 394 00:27:09,161 --> 00:27:11,355 ♪ And men should be the misters 395 00:27:11,455 --> 00:27:13,900 ♪ And the masters of their sisters 396 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,902 ♪ A man should be the reason 397 00:27:16,002 --> 00:27:17,962 ♪ For a heart to break 398 00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:23,159 ♪ So be moral Don't quarrel 399 00:27:23,259 --> 00:27:26,454 ♪ Fair and square is best 400 00:27:26,554 --> 00:27:29,790 ♪ Let me alert you that virtue 401 00:27:29,890 --> 00:27:32,084 ♪ Won't hurt you or desert you 402 00:27:32,184 --> 00:27:36,689 ♪ If you wear hair on your chest 403 00:27:36,814 --> 00:27:41,527 ♪ So always remember to follow the rules 404 00:27:41,652 --> 00:27:44,071 - ♪ Box clever - ♪ Jocks never 405 00:27:44,196 --> 00:27:46,866 ♪ Hock another jock's tools 406 00:27:50,703 --> 00:27:54,373 ♪ A man should wax a car Fix a fuse and tend a bar 407 00:27:54,498 --> 00:27:58,836 ♪ A man should like his brow to be wet with sweat 408 00:27:58,961 --> 00:28:01,297 ♪ And should know the right occasions 409 00:28:01,422 --> 00:28:03,991 ♪ To indulge in tax evasions 410 00:28:04,091 --> 00:28:08,137 ♪ A man should know the settings that his spark plugs get 411 00:28:10,056 --> 00:28:12,099 ♪ Faggots are maggots 412 00:28:12,224 --> 00:28:19,148 ♪ Thank God I'm a man ♪ 413 00:28:30,993 --> 00:28:32,995 What a meal! 414 00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:37,792 Scrumptious, meine Liebling. I insist on the recipe. 415 00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:41,712 Coming from a gourmet, that's praise indeed. But... secrets. 416 00:28:41,837 --> 00:28:44,156 Oh. 417 00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:48,094 With Fast-Food Farley at the helm, it'll probably be TV dinners from now on. 418 00:28:48,219 --> 00:28:53,599 Farley is already a TV winner as we shall see. 419 00:28:55,685 --> 00:28:58,688 Dentonvale will run forever now that his interest 420 00:28:58,813 --> 00:29:01,565 has embraced mental hygiene. 421 00:29:01,691 --> 00:29:03,693 Our field. 422 00:29:03,818 --> 00:29:06,987 I'm convinced there's some kind of conspiracy. 423 00:29:07,113 --> 00:29:09,015 - Conspiracy? - Mm-hmm. 424 00:29:09,115 --> 00:29:11,392 Well, that's a little far-fetched. 425 00:29:11,492 --> 00:29:14,495 Oh, I don't know. Remember Lieutenant Orpheus? 426 00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:17,148 He disappeared into that underworld series and never came back. 427 00:29:17,248 --> 00:29:19,650 Sounds like my husband. He never came back either. 428 00:29:19,750 --> 00:29:23,112 Not after Flavours gave him a commercial break. 429 00:29:23,212 --> 00:29:26,198 Oh, yes, Farley Flavours. You know, I find it remarkable 430 00:29:26,298 --> 00:29:31,137 that his Faith Factory is being financed by an entire nation's indigestion. 431 00:29:32,722 --> 00:29:37,710 Who do you think gave you the next episode? 432 00:29:37,810 --> 00:29:41,047 So that Janet will be free to front line 433 00:29:41,147 --> 00:29:43,149 the new Faith Factory show. 434 00:29:43,274 --> 00:29:46,235 - We're the experts. - Who trusts experts? 435 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,346 Why Janet? 436 00:29:48,446 --> 00:29:52,408 Everyone loves the girl next door. 437 00:29:54,910 --> 00:29:56,829 Particularly Farley. 438 00:29:59,248 --> 00:30:01,584 So it seems. 439 00:30:11,552 --> 00:30:13,871 Come in. 440 00:30:13,971 --> 00:30:16,248 - Oh, hi. - Hi. 441 00:30:16,348 --> 00:30:18,626 - Hi. - I just came to give you this. 442 00:30:18,726 --> 00:30:20,961 - Thank you. - Hi! 443 00:30:21,061 --> 00:30:22,963 - Hi. - Hi. 444 00:30:23,063 --> 00:30:26,525 We'd better get going. Tomorrow's the big one, and Farley expects. 445 00:30:26,650 --> 00:30:28,402 Oh, you bet. 446 00:30:28,527 --> 00:30:32,848 - I guess we'd better leave you young things to it. - Good-bye. 447 00:30:32,948 --> 00:30:35,284 - Bye. - Bye. 448 00:30:41,832 --> 00:30:44,276 - Oh, Ralph. - Yeah? 449 00:30:44,376 --> 00:30:48,614 - Shove it! - Oh, you shove it too, Betty! 450 00:30:48,714 --> 00:30:52,426 Alimony is just another word for rape. 451 00:30:56,138 --> 00:30:59,125 Conspiracy is right. 452 00:30:59,225 --> 00:31:02,436 - The Denton Dossier is... - Closed. 453 00:31:06,398 --> 00:31:08,509 'Dentonvale. 454 00:31:08,609 --> 00:31:12,279 'Special guest star, Janet Majors.' 455 00:31:12,404 --> 00:31:15,699 - Janet! - I've come to see Brad. 456 00:31:15,825 --> 00:31:19,478 That's out of the question. He's sleeping like a baby. 457 00:31:19,578 --> 00:31:23,749 - It's you we're concerned about, Janet. - Yes, Janet, how are you? 458 00:31:23,874 --> 00:31:27,862 - Are you happy? - Oh, I'm happy. 459 00:31:27,962 --> 00:31:30,740 There are countless people in this world, Janet, 460 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,492 who believe that they're happy. 461 00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:35,511 But they only think they're happy. 462 00:31:35,636 --> 00:31:38,806 Oh, well, that doesn't make any sense. 463 00:31:41,976 --> 00:31:45,062 This might, Janet. 464 00:31:47,481 --> 00:31:52,011 And a big Denton welcome to my new delegation. 465 00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:56,907 This is Farley and I'm here with the score. 466 00:31:57,032 --> 00:32:00,644 We're going to package and sell some mental health to the nation, 467 00:32:00,744 --> 00:32:04,248 with my dream of the girl next door. 468 00:32:06,542 --> 00:32:10,154 ♪ Oh, why aren't they doing tomorrow's new dance steps 469 00:32:10,254 --> 00:32:13,657 ♪ The way they used to yesterday 470 00:32:13,757 --> 00:32:17,761 ♪ And who draws a perfect circle anymore 471 00:32:19,847 --> 00:32:23,042 ♪ And if you're waiting for greatness to shake hands with you 472 00:32:23,142 --> 00:32:26,937 ♪ You'd better daydream your life away 473 00:32:27,062 --> 00:32:32,318 ♪ I've only wanted one thing and that's for sure 474 00:32:33,777 --> 00:32:36,947 ♪ You're not just looking at a fast-food king 475 00:32:37,072 --> 00:32:40,200 ♪ Just another well-known face 476 00:32:40,326 --> 00:32:44,663 ♪ You're not looking at the king of anything 477 00:32:46,540 --> 00:32:49,777 ♪ I'm gonna shoot for the moon I'm gonna play high noon 478 00:32:49,877 --> 00:32:53,631 ♪ I'm gonna take on the entire human race 479 00:32:53,756 --> 00:32:57,718 ♪ You're not looking at a king 480 00:32:57,843 --> 00:33:00,679 ♪ You're looking at an ace 481 00:33:04,391 --> 00:33:08,087 ♪ Ooh, I got sight and I've seen the light 482 00:33:08,187 --> 00:33:11,549 ♪ And I'm gonna see the coming day 483 00:33:11,649 --> 00:33:14,318 ♪ When the sun in the sky is a spotlight 484 00:33:14,443 --> 00:33:17,988 ♪ Just for me 485 00:33:18,113 --> 00:33:21,784 ♪ I'm gonna take my time and rock some rhyme 486 00:33:21,909 --> 00:33:24,662 ♪ Oh, it's gonna take your breath away 487 00:33:24,787 --> 00:33:27,231 ♪ You'll be the front page rage of the age 488 00:33:27,331 --> 00:33:31,752 ♪ Just wait and see 489 00:33:31,877 --> 00:33:34,880 ♪ You're not just looking at a fast-food king 490 00:33:35,005 --> 00:33:38,367 ♪ Just another well-known face 491 00:33:38,467 --> 00:33:44,456 ♪ You're not looking at the king of anything 492 00:33:44,556 --> 00:33:47,626 ♪ We're gonna shoot for the moon We're gonna play high noon 493 00:33:47,726 --> 00:33:51,881 ♪ We're gonna take on the entire human race 494 00:33:51,981 --> 00:33:55,634 - ♪ You're not looking at a king - ♪ No, no, no, no, no 495 00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:58,821 - ♪ You're looking at an ace - ♪ You're looking at an ace 496 00:33:58,946 --> 00:34:01,865 - ♪ You're looking at a goddamned ace - ♪ You're looking at an ace 497 00:34:01,991 --> 00:34:05,285 - ♪ You're looking at an ace - ♪ You're looking at an ace 498 00:34:05,411 --> 00:34:09,832 ♪ You're looking at an a-a-a-ace ♪ 499 00:34:09,957 --> 00:34:14,545 I just love home movies, don't you? 500 00:34:14,670 --> 00:34:17,756 Time's tight, Janet. Do it right, Janet. 501 00:34:19,425 --> 00:34:22,411 Until tomorrow night... 502 00:34:22,511 --> 00:34:24,555 Janet. 503 00:34:27,057 --> 00:34:32,104 Well, Farley Flavours is fairly flattering. 504 00:34:34,732 --> 00:34:37,092 But I want to see Brad. 505 00:34:37,192 --> 00:34:40,137 The question is, Janet, does Brad want to see you? 506 00:34:40,237 --> 00:34:44,516 - Quite frankly, he hates you. - What do you mean? 507 00:34:44,616 --> 00:34:48,604 Brad is harbouring deep feelings of hostility towards you, Janet. 508 00:34:48,704 --> 00:34:51,482 - Towards me? - It's classical. 509 00:34:51,582 --> 00:34:55,694 Almost a textbook case. 510 00:34:55,794 --> 00:34:58,489 Oh, no! 511 00:34:58,589 --> 00:35:00,866 That's an extremely negative response. 512 00:35:00,966 --> 00:35:04,119 Yes, Janet. Leave the crying to Brad. 513 00:35:04,219 --> 00:35:06,622 Is it because I'm becoming too popular? 514 00:35:06,722 --> 00:35:11,585 On the contrary, Janet, he wants to see your ratings soar. 515 00:35:11,685 --> 00:35:16,006 He needs a woman of exceptional desirability. 516 00:35:16,106 --> 00:35:18,467 So, you see, Janet, 517 00:35:18,567 --> 00:35:22,321 you can help us to help him. 518 00:35:28,869 --> 00:35:31,538 Maybe I can. 519 00:35:45,260 --> 00:35:48,372 'Stand by for Faith Factory rehearsal.' 520 00:35:48,472 --> 00:35:52,334 I bet that Macy Struthers had a hand in this. 521 00:35:52,434 --> 00:35:55,462 We'll probably be replaced by an hour of fashion tips. 522 00:35:55,562 --> 00:35:59,091 - Now, Betty, don't overreact. - Overreact? 523 00:35:59,191 --> 00:36:01,693 You're the one with theories about conspirac... 524 00:36:03,862 --> 00:36:06,031 - Oliver? - Yes, Betty? 525 00:36:06,156 --> 00:36:10,577 Are you spoken for this evening? 526 00:36:20,212 --> 00:36:22,881 All right, you guys. 527 00:36:23,006 --> 00:36:28,287 An early start tomorrow for Janet's debut on Good Morning Denton. 528 00:36:28,387 --> 00:36:32,207 By the time we unveil Farley's Faith Factory show... 529 00:36:32,307 --> 00:36:36,128 we'll have all earned our beauty sleep. 530 00:36:36,228 --> 00:36:41,024 - Could I just peep in on Brad before I go home? - Home? 531 00:36:42,276 --> 00:36:44,903 Home. 532 00:36:45,028 --> 00:36:48,932 This is the nerve centre of operations, Janet. 533 00:36:49,032 --> 00:36:52,311 You must stay here tonight. That way we can all be together 534 00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:57,040 when Mr. Sun paints us a new day with his golden brush. 535 00:37:01,628 --> 00:37:05,340 And you can "peep in" on Brad in the morning. 536 00:37:05,465 --> 00:37:07,551 Morning? 537 00:37:07,676 --> 00:37:09,828 Are all the beds made up? 538 00:37:09,928 --> 00:37:12,122 Oh, yes! I've plumped up all the pillows, changed... 539 00:37:12,222 --> 00:37:15,434 - Then lock up for the night. - Okay! 540 00:37:38,790 --> 00:37:41,068 Clever of you to find this spot, Betty. 541 00:37:41,168 --> 00:37:44,154 It pays to know your way around, Oliver. 542 00:37:44,254 --> 00:37:47,991 I thought the Home of Happiness would give your theory a new perspective. 543 00:37:48,091 --> 00:37:50,744 A stately pleasure home indeed. 544 00:37:50,844 --> 00:37:55,541 Oh, I adore Coleridge Taylor. 545 00:37:55,641 --> 00:37:57,601 As a matter of fact... 546 00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:05,467 "It is an ancient Mariner... 547 00:38:05,567 --> 00:38:08,720 "and he stoppeth one of three. 548 00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:13,600 "By thy long grey beard and glittering eye... 549 00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:18,705 "now wherefore stop'st thou me?" 550 00:38:19,873 --> 00:38:21,917 Oh. 551 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,096 ♪ I feel the heat from your skin 552 00:38:51,196 --> 00:38:53,473 ♪ And the stubble on your chin 553 00:38:53,573 --> 00:38:56,101 ♪ You're no good 554 00:38:56,201 --> 00:38:58,812 ♪ You're no good 555 00:38:58,912 --> 00:39:01,231 ♪ You've got dirt on your hands 556 00:39:01,331 --> 00:39:03,692 ♪ And everybody understands 557 00:39:03,792 --> 00:39:06,361 ♪ You're no good 558 00:39:06,461 --> 00:39:08,530 ♪ You're no good 559 00:39:08,630 --> 00:39:11,158 - ♪ Oh, what a joke - ♪ What a joke 560 00:39:11,258 --> 00:39:13,702 ♪ You feel like choking 561 00:39:13,802 --> 00:39:16,288 - ♪ You play for broke - ♪ You play for broke 562 00:39:16,388 --> 00:39:18,332 ♪ He leaves you smoking 563 00:39:18,432 --> 00:39:24,046 ♪ Oh, romance is not a children's game 564 00:39:24,146 --> 00:39:27,007 ♪ But you keep going back 565 00:39:27,107 --> 00:39:31,278 ♪ It's driving you insane 566 00:39:40,037 --> 00:39:44,983 ♪ Drift into the treacle deep 567 00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:49,279 ♪ Slip into its silent depths Go to sleep 568 00:39:49,379 --> 00:39:54,159 ♪ With your everything akimbo 569 00:39:54,259 --> 00:39:59,665 ♪ Float into the sandman's limbo 570 00:39:59,765 --> 00:40:02,000 - ♪ Night, night - ♪ Night, night 571 00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:04,253 ♪ It's time for bye-byes 572 00:40:04,353 --> 00:40:09,649 ♪ It's been a great day Thanks a heap 573 00:40:09,775 --> 00:40:11,677 ♪ Now it's time 574 00:40:11,777 --> 00:40:14,096 ♪ For everyone 575 00:40:14,196 --> 00:40:19,476 ♪ To go to sleep 576 00:40:19,576 --> 00:40:21,603 ♪ Night, night 577 00:40:21,703 --> 00:40:24,189 ♪ It's time for bye-byes 578 00:40:24,289 --> 00:40:29,236 ♪ It's been a great day Thanks a heap 579 00:40:29,336 --> 00:40:31,613 ♪ Now it's time 580 00:40:31,713 --> 00:40:34,074 ♪ For everyone 581 00:40:34,174 --> 00:40:38,178 ♪ To go to sleep ♪ 582 00:40:57,322 --> 00:41:01,034 "He went like one that hath been stunned, 583 00:41:01,159 --> 00:41:05,397 "and is of sense forlorn. 584 00:41:05,497 --> 00:41:09,568 "A sadder and a wiser man, 585 00:41:09,668 --> 00:41:12,129 he rose the morrow morn." 586 00:41:16,216 --> 00:41:19,886 Does this bird belong to you? 587 00:41:43,326 --> 00:41:45,328 Janet? 588 00:41:52,711 --> 00:41:55,464 Are you decent, Janet? 589 00:42:08,310 --> 00:42:10,687 Hoopla, Bert! 590 00:42:10,812 --> 00:42:13,690 Nice to see you up and about. 591 00:42:13,815 --> 00:42:16,651 - Mac's waiting in the wardrobe, Janet. - Uh-huh. 592 00:42:16,776 --> 00:42:20,572 Care to join me in an on-set snack? 593 00:42:50,977 --> 00:42:54,064 Good morning. 594 00:42:58,401 --> 00:43:00,654 I wanna see Brad. 595 00:43:03,114 --> 00:43:06,309 Look at yourself. You're beautiful. 596 00:43:06,409 --> 00:43:10,830 The most desirable creature that ever walked. 597 00:43:12,749 --> 00:43:16,778 Oh, if only Brad could have found it within himself to say those things to me. 598 00:43:16,878 --> 00:43:21,575 He will, but it's up to you to reawaken his feelings. 599 00:43:21,675 --> 00:43:24,453 Farley's given you that chance. 600 00:43:24,553 --> 00:43:26,872 You can use the Breakfast Show... 601 00:43:26,972 --> 00:43:29,516 to knock Denton dead. 602 00:43:31,101 --> 00:43:33,211 Do you really think so? 603 00:43:33,311 --> 00:43:35,313 Everybody needs you. 604 00:43:38,483 --> 00:43:42,320 - Hmm. But what'll I do? What'll I say? - Hmm? 605 00:43:42,612 --> 00:43:44,573 - What'll I wear? - Ah. 606 00:43:48,785 --> 00:43:51,855 ♪ Ever since I was a little boy 607 00:43:51,955 --> 00:43:56,751 ♪ Dressing up has always been my greatest joy 608 00:43:56,876 --> 00:43:59,654 ♪ But when it's time to be discreet 609 00:43:59,754 --> 00:44:03,091 ♪ There's one thing you just can't beat 610 00:44:03,216 --> 00:44:07,304 ♪ And that's a strapless backless, classical little black dress 611 00:44:07,429 --> 00:44:10,473 ♪ Well, first you go rip, rip, rip 612 00:44:10,599 --> 00:44:12,892 ♪ Then you go snip, snip, snip 613 00:44:13,018 --> 00:44:15,312 ♪ Then you whip in a zip, zip, zip 614 00:44:15,437 --> 00:44:18,340 ♪ And split it up to the hip, hip, hip 615 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:21,593 ♪ And as you strip, strip, strip 616 00:44:21,693 --> 00:44:24,679 ♪ You shiver and quiver 617 00:44:24,779 --> 00:44:26,806 ♪ For that soft caress 618 00:44:26,906 --> 00:44:31,411 ♪ As you slip, slip, slip into that little black dress 619 00:44:32,829 --> 00:44:35,815 ♪ Ever since I was the ein kleiner herren 620 00:44:35,915 --> 00:44:40,211 ♪ It was the Cordon Bleu for which I am most carin' 621 00:44:40,462 --> 00:44:44,157 ♪ And the one taste treat so sweet 622 00:44:44,257 --> 00:44:46,993 ♪ That really can't be beat 623 00:44:47,093 --> 00:44:51,181 ♪ Is what we have, ja, how you are, caviar That little black mess 624 00:44:51,306 --> 00:44:54,976 - Et voilà! - But how? 625 00:44:55,101 --> 00:44:58,505 ♪ Well, first you go rip, rip, rip 626 00:44:58,605 --> 00:45:00,649 ♪ Then you go snip, snip, snip 627 00:45:00,774 --> 00:45:03,385 ♪ Then you whip in a zip, zip, zip 628 00:45:03,485 --> 00:45:05,987 ♪ And split it up to the hip, hip, hip 629 00:45:06,112 --> 00:45:08,365 ♪ And as you strip, strip, strip 630 00:45:08,490 --> 00:45:12,185 ♪ Oh, you quiver and shiver 631 00:45:12,285 --> 00:45:14,162 ♪ For that soft caress 632 00:45:14,287 --> 00:45:20,001 ♪ As you slip, slip, slip into that little black dress 633 00:45:20,126 --> 00:45:23,254 - ♪ That minimal - ♪ Minimal 634 00:45:23,380 --> 00:45:25,715 - ♪ Criminal - ♪ Criminal 635 00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:29,469 ♪ Cynical little black dress 636 00:45:31,137 --> 00:45:34,432 ♪ Let's face it, Mac That basic black is coming back 637 00:45:36,643 --> 00:45:40,522 ♪ Let's face it, Mac That basic black is coming back 638 00:45:40,647 --> 00:45:45,193 ♪ Let's face it, Mac That basic black is coming back 639 00:45:46,861 --> 00:45:49,264 - ♪ That minimal - ♪ Minimal 640 00:45:49,364 --> 00:45:52,017 - ♪ Criminal - ♪ Criminal 641 00:45:52,117 --> 00:45:55,787 - ♪ Cynical - ♪ Little black dress ♪ 642 00:45:55,912 --> 00:45:59,691 Good morning, Denton. Rise and shine. 643 00:45:59,791 --> 00:46:02,986 She'll be here any second now. So let's give her a great big hand. 644 00:46:03,086 --> 00:46:05,088 Come on now. 645 00:46:21,312 --> 00:46:25,300 Oh, Janet, I can't tell you how excited I am... for you. 646 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,470 We've got the band and dancers and dry ice standing by. 647 00:46:28,570 --> 00:46:32,223 Betty Hapschatt is indisposed, so Macy will have to do the introductions. 648 00:46:32,323 --> 00:46:34,325 I don't need introductions. 649 00:46:35,952 --> 00:46:38,371 The fabulous, the golden... 650 00:46:38,496 --> 00:46:40,915 the very wonderful... 651 00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:42,542 - I knew it! - ♪ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet 652 00:46:42,667 --> 00:46:46,212 - I knew it! - ♪ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet 653 00:46:47,839 --> 00:46:51,743 ♪ There's just the two of me 654 00:46:51,843 --> 00:46:56,623 ♪ Alone at last together 655 00:46:56,723 --> 00:47:01,336 ♪ We've got the luck so far 656 00:47:01,436 --> 00:47:04,881 ♪ We are my lucky star 657 00:47:04,981 --> 00:47:08,985 Star, star, star, star, star, star, star, star. 658 00:47:17,702 --> 00:47:21,439 ♪ Deep in the heart of me 659 00:47:21,539 --> 00:47:25,276 ♪ I love every part of me 660 00:47:25,376 --> 00:47:28,947 ♪ All I can see in me 661 00:47:29,047 --> 00:47:32,534 ♪ Is the danger and ecstasy 662 00:47:32,634 --> 00:47:37,080 ♪ Yeah, one thing there couldn't be 663 00:47:37,180 --> 00:47:41,376 ♪ Is any more me in me 664 00:47:41,476 --> 00:47:44,938 ♪ This is the me of me 665 00:47:45,063 --> 00:47:48,925 ♪ Me, me, me 666 00:47:49,025 --> 00:47:52,804 ♪ Me, me 667 00:47:52,904 --> 00:47:56,808 ♪ Me, me, me 668 00:47:56,908 --> 00:47:59,118 ♪ Me, me, me 669 00:48:02,539 --> 00:48:06,501 ♪ I am my destiny 670 00:48:09,045 --> 00:48:13,992 ♪ I'd never lie to me 671 00:48:14,092 --> 00:48:18,121 ♪ I'd be willing to die pour moi 672 00:48:18,221 --> 00:48:21,349 ♪ I'll pray every day to me 673 00:48:21,474 --> 00:48:25,687 ♪ And here's what I'd say to me 674 00:48:25,812 --> 00:48:29,841 ♪ This is the me of me 675 00:48:29,941 --> 00:48:34,262 ♪ Me, me, me< 676 00:48:34,362 --> 00:48:37,599 ♪ Me, me 677 00:48:37,699 --> 00:48:41,394 ♪ Me, me, me 678 00:48:41,494 --> 00:48:44,497 ♪ Me, me, me 679 00:48:44,622 --> 00:48:47,542 - ♪ Me, me, me - Aah! 680 00:48:47,667 --> 00:48:51,004 ♪ Ooh, me, me 681 00:48:51,129 --> 00:48:53,715 - ♪ Me, me, me - Yeah! 682 00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:57,719 ♪ Whoa, me, me 683 00:48:57,844 --> 00:49:01,581 ♪ Look at me 684 00:49:01,681 --> 00:49:03,558 ♪ Moi, moi ♪ 685 00:49:07,145 --> 00:49:09,272 Ah! 686 00:49:09,397 --> 00:49:12,342 Janet! Janet! 687 00:49:12,442 --> 00:49:14,903 Janet! 688 00:49:22,994 --> 00:49:26,147 And you can see and hear Janet tonight 689 00:49:26,247 --> 00:49:30,235 on Faith Factory, brought to you by Farley Flavours. 690 00:49:30,335 --> 00:49:32,862 All right, Janet. 691 00:49:32,962 --> 00:49:36,132 - You were far out. - Terrific. 692 00:49:38,801 --> 00:49:41,204 Out of self came selflessness! 693 00:49:41,304 --> 00:49:44,457 You revealed yourself, the real you, the secret you. 694 00:49:44,557 --> 00:49:47,544 - And you liked what you saw, didn't you, Janet? - Well, I must say... 695 00:49:47,644 --> 00:49:51,814 - How's Brad? - Well, if he caught my act, he'll be lookin' good. 696 00:49:54,859 --> 00:49:58,763 It seems I'm his medicine, so we're off to give him another spoonful. 697 00:49:58,863 --> 00:50:02,200 Check you later, Betty. I gotta freshen up. 698 00:50:08,414 --> 00:50:11,985 Hey, how about that? Janet was a knockout! 699 00:50:12,085 --> 00:50:14,237 - Thank you. - Yeah, she was terrific. 700 00:50:14,337 --> 00:50:17,006 - Sexy! - What? 701 00:50:18,341 --> 00:50:20,785 At the same time fresh, untouched, you know. 702 00:50:20,885 --> 00:50:24,080 - Hey, how's Brad? - He's fine. 703 00:50:24,180 --> 00:50:26,833 Lucky dog, with a pretty girl like that for a wife. 704 00:50:26,933 --> 00:50:31,629 Yeah, he sure is. No sugar. Thanks, Kirk. 705 00:50:31,729 --> 00:50:34,966 Well, I'll sugar his daughter's... 706 00:50:35,066 --> 00:50:38,094 Coffee, Kirk. I'm dying for it. 707 00:50:38,194 --> 00:50:41,823 R.I.P., Betty. You're off the air. 708 00:50:43,366 --> 00:50:46,936 What's happening here? Janet's on the Breakfast Show... 709 00:50:47,036 --> 00:50:51,190 Brad's committed to a nowhere series, and we've been... 710 00:50:51,290 --> 00:50:53,501 Written out? 711 00:50:53,626 --> 00:50:56,879 'Dentonvale. 712 00:50:58,923 --> 00:51:02,285 'The Mission of Mercy. 713 00:51:02,385 --> 00:51:06,122 'Starring the increasingly popular Janet Majors.' 714 00:51:06,222 --> 00:51:08,433 Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy. 715 00:51:08,558 --> 00:51:13,479 Hi, Brad. I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 716 00:51:13,604 --> 00:51:17,108 Janet, where's that lovely dress I made you? 717 00:51:17,233 --> 00:51:20,470 Oh, Mac just whipped up this little crowd-pleaser. 718 00:51:20,570 --> 00:51:22,805 Well, you're practically naked! 719 00:51:22,905 --> 00:51:26,200 I can't wear anything under it, Daddy. It would spoil the line. 720 00:51:28,661 --> 00:51:33,499 My God, Janet. How can you say such things? Look at Brad. Look what they've done to him. 721 00:51:33,624 --> 00:51:37,111 - Ah. Janet's parents? - Are you the doctor? 722 00:51:37,211 --> 00:51:39,505 - Yes. - There's gonna have to be an investigation. 723 00:51:39,630 --> 00:51:43,217 - There are regulations about this sort of thing. - It's for his own good. 724 00:51:43,342 --> 00:51:48,681 - Hoopla, Janet! - Bert! Sweetheart! Oh, it's fabulous! 725 00:51:51,100 --> 00:51:53,311 - What's going on here? - You're wearing your black. 726 00:51:53,436 --> 00:51:57,315 - Yes, of course. - I adore that colour. 727 00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:01,277 Patient was in great danger of doing himself a mischief. 728 00:52:01,402 --> 00:52:05,073 We only want what's best for him. As parents, you must understand. 729 00:52:05,198 --> 00:52:07,350 No. No, I don't! 730 00:52:07,450 --> 00:52:11,688 Brad doesn't need to be trussed up like a turkey. There are drugs to keep him quiet. 731 00:52:11,788 --> 00:52:14,941 - We used them. All of them. - And none of them worked? 732 00:52:15,041 --> 00:52:17,193 - No. - Then double the strength. 733 00:52:17,293 --> 00:52:19,378 - We did. - We know our job. 734 00:52:19,504 --> 00:52:24,383 We also know how you feel. We're not strangers to confusion. 735 00:52:27,678 --> 00:52:30,348 - 'We're not confused.' - 'Well, I am, goddamn it!' 736 00:52:30,473 --> 00:52:33,601 You trust Brad with this crowd-pleaser? 737 00:52:33,726 --> 00:52:36,938 Ooh. 738 00:52:39,690 --> 00:52:43,928 ♪ I'm not a locum with motive to suture myself 739 00:52:44,028 --> 00:52:47,098 ♪ I've been a cynic for too many years 740 00:52:47,198 --> 00:52:50,743 ♪ Playing doctor and nurse It can be good for your health 741 00:52:50,868 --> 00:52:56,165 ♪ I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in Tangiers 742 00:52:57,667 --> 00:53:00,586 ♪ But if you open your heart to a smooth operator 743 00:53:00,711 --> 00:53:04,715 ♪ He'll take you for all that you've got 744 00:53:04,841 --> 00:53:09,262 ♪ He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later 745 00:53:09,387 --> 00:53:11,956 ♪ It'll shake you the way he takes off 746 00:53:12,056 --> 00:53:14,584 ♪ Like a shot 747 00:53:14,684 --> 00:53:17,587 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 748 00:53:17,687 --> 00:53:20,690 ♪ Gets you jumping like a real live wire 749 00:53:20,815 --> 00:53:24,819 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 750 00:53:24,944 --> 00:53:28,014 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 751 00:53:28,114 --> 00:53:31,534 ♪ For a vista that'll mystify ya 752 00:53:33,536 --> 00:53:37,231 ♪ You're blinded by romance You're blinded by science 753 00:53:37,331 --> 00:53:40,651 ♪ Your condition is critically grave 754 00:53:40,751 --> 00:53:44,739 ♪ But don't expect mercy from such an alliance 755 00:53:44,839 --> 00:53:50,286 ♪ Suspicion of tradition's so new wave 756 00:53:50,386 --> 00:53:53,890 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 757 00:53:54,015 --> 00:53:56,893 ♪ Gets you jumping like a real live wire 758 00:53:57,018 --> 00:54:00,771 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 759 00:54:00,897 --> 00:54:04,150 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 760 00:54:04,275 --> 00:54:08,221 ♪ For a sister that'll certify ya 761 00:54:08,321 --> 00:54:12,200 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 762 00:54:12,325 --> 00:54:14,952 ♪ Gets you jumping like a real live wire 763 00:54:15,077 --> 00:54:19,248 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 764 00:54:19,373 --> 00:54:22,210 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 765 00:54:22,335 --> 00:54:28,199 ♪ For a sister that'll certify ya ♪ 766 00:54:28,299 --> 00:54:31,093 Aha! 767 00:54:34,096 --> 00:54:38,059 Look at that! Bert Schnick's dancing! 768 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:46,234 - Bert can see! - Macabre, isn't it? 769 00:54:46,359 --> 00:54:49,445 The blind< leading the blind. 770 00:54:56,911 --> 00:54:59,021 - Welcome to the Faith Factory rehearsal. - Thank you. 771 00:54:59,121 --> 00:55:02,275 - We're all really excited about tonight. - Oh. 772 00:55:02,375 --> 00:55:07,029 - Oh, do I get one of those? - Oh, yes, yes, of course you do. 773 00:55:07,129 --> 00:55:11,092 Janet? Janet? Janet? 774 00:55:12,551 --> 00:55:17,348 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 775 00:55:17,473 --> 00:55:19,625 Oh, really? 776 00:55:19,725 --> 00:55:23,379 Macy, why don't you take Janet and help her freshen up before the rehearsal? 777 00:55:23,479 --> 00:55:26,440 Surely. 778 00:55:29,694 --> 00:55:32,847 Ralph. You promised me an introduction. 779 00:55:32,947 --> 00:55:34,974 Later, Francine. 780 00:55:35,074 --> 00:55:37,368 Frankie! 781 00:55:38,411 --> 00:55:42,607 Bert, could you spare a moment? 782 00:55:42,707 --> 00:55:45,584 Of course. 783 00:55:45,710 --> 00:55:48,237 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 784 00:55:48,337 --> 00:55:51,908 - Janet! Janet! We want Janet! - Janet, a quick word. 785 00:55:52,008 --> 00:55:56,078 Could you tell our viewers what exactly you will be representing tonight? 786 00:55:56,178 --> 00:55:59,081 - Sanity for today. - Wow! 787 00:55:59,181 --> 00:56:01,876 And that's the word from Janet Majors, 788 00:56:01,976 --> 00:56:04,170 DTV's newest star. 789 00:56:04,270 --> 00:56:06,255 Okay, guys, let's move on. 790 00:56:06,355 --> 00:56:08,966 - How's Brad? - He's a wreck. 791 00:56:09,066 --> 00:56:13,387 - Check. The quacks are willing tools? - Ah, the quacks are fools. 792 00:56:13,487 --> 00:56:17,642 You know, I wouldn't mind doing Janet one or two favours. 793 00:56:17,742 --> 00:56:20,578 It's time to check with Flavours. 794 00:56:23,289 --> 00:56:26,959 Shoot. 795 00:56:33,132 --> 00:56:36,285 Is there anything else you'd like, Janet? 796 00:56:36,385 --> 00:56:41,040 Yeah, a new carpet. I hate the colour. Don't you? 797 00:56:41,140 --> 00:56:44,627 It's only one night, Janet. 798 00:56:44,727 --> 00:56:47,838 - Don't forget who we're doing this for. - Who? 799 00:56:47,938 --> 00:56:50,258 Brad. 800 00:56:50,358 --> 00:56:55,513 You know, I'm getting awfully sick of hearing about that emotional cripple. 801 00:56:55,613 --> 00:57:00,476 I've got a lot going for me, you know. I'm going places. I'm gonna be someone. 802 00:57:00,576 --> 00:57:03,479 I'm gonna win my way into the lives and hearts of the people 803 00:57:03,579 --> 00:57:07,191 even if I have to kill to do it. 804 00:57:07,291 --> 00:57:10,753 I'll make the pathetic little crumbs love me. 805 00:57:13,714 --> 00:57:16,575 I don't even know why I'm wasting my time here with you. 806 00:57:16,675 --> 00:57:18,636 I should be with my people. 807 00:57:18,761 --> 00:57:21,931 'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!' 808 00:57:22,056 --> 00:57:23,958 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 809 00:57:24,058 --> 00:57:26,252 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 810 00:57:26,352 --> 00:57:29,313 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 811 00:57:29,438 --> 00:57:31,482 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 812 00:57:33,317 --> 00:57:35,319 Hey, Janet! 813 00:57:35,444 --> 00:57:37,947 - Girl, you're great! - Oh, thanks. 814 00:57:38,072 --> 00:57:40,866 - Hi. My name's Frankie. - Francine! 815 00:57:40,991 --> 00:57:43,702 And I think you're beautiful. 816 00:57:47,415 --> 00:57:51,877 Hi, I'm Brenda. This is my brother Oscar, and this is our friend, Glish Davison. 817 00:57:52,002 --> 00:57:56,632 Janet, we really enjoyed doing the Breakfast Show with you. 818 00:57:58,843 --> 00:58:02,972 This is Janet. She's a phenomenon. 819 00:58:03,097 --> 00:58:06,100 ♪ So if you're looking for a standard to which you can aspire 820 00:58:06,225 --> 00:58:08,519 ♪ Then, baby 821 00:58:08,644 --> 00:58:12,940 ♪ Look at me Whoa-oh 822 00:58:14,608 --> 00:58:17,778 - ♪ Look at me ♪ - All right! 823 00:58:22,491 --> 00:58:24,869 I think you need a little rest. 824 00:58:24,994 --> 00:58:27,997 You've got a big night ahead of you. 825 00:58:28,122 --> 00:58:32,168 Your clothes are real neat. 826 00:58:32,293 --> 00:58:34,628 'Reminder. Wardrobe check...' 827 00:58:34,753 --> 00:58:38,991 'We want Janet! Janet! Janet! We want Janet!' 828 00:58:39,091 --> 00:58:41,786 Aren't they great? 829 00:58:41,886 --> 00:58:43,829 But getting back to Faith Factory, 830 00:58:43,929 --> 00:58:46,916 all in all, it looks like an exciting new series for us. 831 00:58:47,016 --> 00:58:49,752 Yes, and an attractive financial prospect for Denton. 832 00:58:49,852 --> 00:58:53,856 - And fashion-wise? - What did I tell you? 833 00:58:53,981 --> 00:58:57,927 Well, I can just say that Faith Factory will be introducing a new look 834 00:58:58,027 --> 00:59:02,448 that will show off one or two old faces in an exciting new light. 835 00:59:02,573 --> 00:59:06,202 - Really? Sounds interesting. - Did you hear that, Oliver? 836 00:59:06,327 --> 00:59:10,623 Yes, Betty. But the false promise of a new dawn 837 00:59:10,748 --> 00:59:15,252 usually leads to a most bloody sunset. 838 00:59:15,377 --> 00:59:19,615 No, I don't know what Janet's next move will be, but you can be sure of one thing. 839 00:59:19,715 --> 00:59:24,678 - It all starts right here. - Thank you. 840 00:59:26,138 --> 00:59:28,374 And that's the word from Ralph Hapschatt... 841 00:59:28,474 --> 00:59:30,376 and Macy Struthers. 842 00:59:30,476 --> 00:59:32,711 'Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 843 00:59:32,811 --> 00:59:35,423 'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!' 844 00:59:35,523 --> 00:59:37,425 - Oh, Oliver! - Hmm? 845 00:59:37,525 --> 00:59:39,527 What are we going to do? 846 00:59:40,611 --> 00:59:42,638 Care to indulge? 847 00:59:42,738 --> 00:59:45,099 - Indulge? - Mm-hmm. 848 00:59:45,199 --> 00:59:47,935 - In a little, um, masquerade? - 'Final reminder.' 849 00:59:48,035 --> 00:59:50,396 - Oh. - 'Wardrobe check for Faith Factory medical outfits. 850 00:59:50,496 --> 00:59:53,332 'Wardrobe check for Faith Factory medical outfits.' 851 00:59:53,457 --> 00:59:56,877 'Dentonvale. 852 00:59:57,002 --> 00:59:59,155 'Parental predicament.' 853 00:59:59,255 --> 01:00:01,198 Oh, Harry, what are we gonna do? 854 01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:04,093 I don't know, Emily. I'm worried. 855 01:00:04,218 --> 01:00:08,372 Maybe I could wear those black leather brogues. 856 01:00:08,472 --> 01:00:12,351 Too flashy. They'll clash with the new outfits. 857 01:00:12,476 --> 01:00:17,339 It's all right, Brad, dear. 858 01:00:17,439 --> 01:00:19,400 Have another sedative. 859 01:00:22,194 --> 01:00:24,572 We'll miss you on the show tonight. 860 01:00:27,241 --> 01:00:30,619 Don't worry, Brad. I'll be back. 861 01:00:32,162 --> 01:00:36,375 - What about those Italian loafers I bought in Hawaii? - Mmm. 862 01:00:43,716 --> 01:00:47,886 I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 863 01:01:01,442 --> 01:01:05,321 Face it, Janet. Brad's an emotional cripple. 864 01:01:09,325 --> 01:01:12,745 - Quite frankly... - He hates you. 865 01:01:17,166 --> 01:01:19,735 'Time's tight, Janet. 866 01:01:19,835 --> 01:01:22,571 'Do it right, Janet. 867 01:01:22,671 --> 01:01:24,840 'Until tonight... 868 01:01:25,966 --> 01:01:27,968 'Janet.' 869 01:01:31,889 --> 01:01:35,100 I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 870 01:01:35,225 --> 01:01:37,182 I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 871 01:01:42,232 --> 01:01:45,110 ♪ Out on a cul-de-sac 872 01:01:46,820 --> 01:01:49,740 ♪ And I gotta go back 873 01:01:51,575 --> 01:01:54,536 ♪ So come on, feet 874 01:01:55,663 --> 01:01:58,707 ♪ We gotta hit the street 875 01:02:00,334 --> 01:02:04,822 ♪ We've got it made 876 01:02:04,922 --> 01:02:07,257 ♪ I'm looking for trade 877 01:02:09,301 --> 01:02:12,554 ♪ I'm lookin' for love 878 01:02:13,597 --> 01:02:15,891 ♪ I'm lookin' for trade 879 01:02:18,268 --> 01:02:22,506 ♪ I need some young blood I need some young blood 880 01:02:22,606 --> 01:02:24,858 ♪ I need it now 881 01:02:26,777 --> 01:02:31,390 ♪ I need some young blood I need some young blood 882 01:02:31,490 --> 01:02:34,535 ♪ And we're gonna get it somehow 883 01:02:36,412 --> 01:02:38,831 ♪ I'm on a dead-end street 884 01:02:40,708 --> 01:02:43,252 ♪ I'm like a dog in the heat 885 01:02:45,087 --> 01:02:49,033 ♪ I'm like a kid with no toys 886 01:02:49,133 --> 01:02:53,370 ♪ I wanna get those boys 887 01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:58,250 ♪ Oh, I can't be delayed 888 01:02:58,350 --> 01:03:01,103 ♪ I'm looking for trade 889 01:03:03,147 --> 01:03:06,925 ♪ I'm lookin' for love 890 01:03:07,025 --> 01:03:09,570 ♪ I'm looking for trade 891 01:03:12,114 --> 01:03:16,685 ♪ Oh, we're all livin' like there's no tomorrow 892 01:03:16,785 --> 01:03:20,689 ♪ And the way things are going that's probably true 893 01:03:20,789 --> 01:03:24,543 ♪ But without you and me, Sis the world would fall to pieces 894 01:03:24,668 --> 01:03:27,279 ♪ Vena cava Who's the raver 895 01:03:27,379 --> 01:03:29,757 ♪ Our raving saviour that's you 896 01:03:31,967 --> 01:03:34,595 ♪ I'm on the primrose path 897 01:03:36,346 --> 01:03:39,016 ♪ I'm looking for a laugh 898 01:03:40,809 --> 01:03:43,979 ♪ Remember, it's no fun 899 01:03:45,147 --> 01:03:48,108 ♪ To be the chosen one 900 01:03:49,526 --> 01:03:52,654 ♪ There are games to be played 901 01:03:54,531 --> 01:03:56,909 ♪ Looking for trade 902 01:03:58,744 --> 01:04:02,331 ♪ I'm looking for love 903 01:04:02,456 --> 01:04:05,209 ♪ I'm looking for trade 904 01:04:07,711 --> 01:04:11,740 ♪ I need some young blood I need some young blood 905 01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:13,909 ♪ And I need it now 906 01:04:14,009 --> 01:04:15,994 ♪ Oh 907 01:04:16,094 --> 01:04:20,666 ♪ I need some young blood I need some young blood 908 01:04:20,766 --> 01:04:23,627 ♪ And I'm gonna get it somehow 909 01:04:23,727 --> 01:04:25,796 ♪ I'm looking for trade ♪ 910 01:04:25,896 --> 01:04:28,232 'Janet, Janet! We want Janet! 911 01:04:28,357 --> 01:04:32,903 - 'Janet, Janet! We want Janet!' - Janet? Janet? 912 01:04:33,028 --> 01:04:35,614 Wake up, Janet. 913 01:04:35,739 --> 01:04:40,744 You've got guests. You can come in now. 914 01:04:42,496 --> 01:04:45,165 - Hi, Janet. - How are you feeling? 915 01:04:45,290 --> 01:04:47,376 Who are you? 916 01:04:47,501 --> 01:04:51,380 - The band. - Do you have any friends? 917 01:04:51,505 --> 01:04:53,949 Sure. 918 01:04:54,049 --> 01:04:56,093 You won't have soon. 919 01:04:58,095 --> 01:05:00,806 What are you called, your band? 920 01:05:00,931 --> 01:05:03,517 Oscar Drill and the Bits. 921 01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:23,562 Betty, it's imperative we get Janet out of Farley's fast fingers 922 01:05:23,662 --> 01:05:28,567 and Brad out of that hellhole before they both disappear forever. 923 01:05:28,667 --> 01:05:31,153 I don't mind telling you, Oliver... 924 01:05:31,253 --> 01:05:33,864 I'm not looking forward to this. 925 01:05:33,964 --> 01:05:36,158 If only I could place that name. 926 01:05:36,258 --> 01:05:39,995 - McKinley. - There was a president. 927 01:05:40,095 --> 01:05:42,331 President? 928 01:05:42,431 --> 01:05:45,334 Past presidents. 929 01:05:45,434 --> 01:05:48,545 Betty, this is beginning to add up. 930 01:05:48,645 --> 01:05:51,215 Really? 931 01:05:51,315 --> 01:05:53,342 What'll I pin this on? 932 01:05:53,442 --> 01:05:55,444 Faith, Betty. 933 01:05:57,279 --> 01:06:00,574 But make sure it's your own. 934 01:06:04,328 --> 01:06:06,313 In a hurry, Mr. Flavours? 935 01:06:06,413 --> 01:06:09,358 There's a little lady he doesn't wanna keep waiting. 936 01:06:09,458 --> 01:06:12,961 - And a date. - Who with, Mr. Flavours? 937 01:06:15,464 --> 01:06:17,466 The past. 938 01:06:24,598 --> 01:06:27,751 ♪ Like a virgin with an urgin' in a surgery 939 01:06:27,851 --> 01:06:31,171 ♪ I'll be swingin' I'll be bringing out the nurse in me 940 01:06:31,271 --> 01:06:34,299 ♪ The art will start when I play my part 941 01:06:34,399 --> 01:06:37,511 ♪ As a healer who will steal your heart 942 01:06:37,611 --> 01:06:41,782 ♪ Oh, look what I did to my id 943 01:06:43,992 --> 01:06:48,163 ♪ Oh, look what I did to my id 944 01:06:50,290 --> 01:06:53,402 ♪ With neurosis in profusion 945 01:06:53,502 --> 01:06:56,905 ♪ And psychosis in your soul 946 01:06:57,005 --> 01:07:00,075 ♪ Eliminate confusion 947 01:07:00,175 --> 01:07:06,081 ♪ And hide inside a brand-new role 948 01:07:06,181 --> 01:07:10,168 ♪ Like a good-time girl I'm gonna try some new tricks 949 01:07:10,268 --> 01:07:13,046 ♪ This could be the start of a whole new career 950 01:07:13,146 --> 01:07:16,300 ♪ Got a deep plum lipstick and some therapeutics 951 01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:19,136 ♪ This could take us to a town that's nowhere near here 952 01:07:19,236 --> 01:07:23,015 ♪ Got the hot flush symptoms and I'm feelin' sneaky 953 01:07:23,115 --> 01:07:25,642 ♪ Young male intern tall and handsome 954 01:07:25,742 --> 01:07:29,146 ♪ Got my hem so high they'll say I'm being cheeky 955 01:07:29,246 --> 01:07:32,666 ♪ With legs like mine I'm really made for dancin' 956 01:07:34,876 --> 01:07:37,045 ♪ Whoa-oh-oh 957 01:07:38,213 --> 01:07:40,215 ♪ Hey, hey, hey 958 01:07:45,137 --> 01:07:48,457 ♪ When heaven's in the music 959 01:07:48,557 --> 01:07:51,668 ♪ Hell is in control 960 01:07:51,768 --> 01:07:54,296 ♪ The angels got the voices 961 01:07:54,396 --> 01:07:59,860 ♪ But the devil's got the rock and roll 962 01:08:01,528 --> 01:08:04,306 ♪ We may look like we're phony medics 963 01:08:04,406 --> 01:08:07,392 ♪ But we took our look from a book by Fredericks 964 01:08:07,492 --> 01:08:12,789 ♪ Oh, look what I did to my id, kid 965 01:08:14,041 --> 01:08:17,986 ♪ Look what I did to my id ♪ 966 01:08:18,086 --> 01:08:19,046 - Oh, Brad. - He's an emotional cripple, remember? 967 01:08:19,171 --> 01:08:22,324 - Oh, Brad. - He's an emotional cripple, remember? 968 01:08:22,424 --> 01:08:24,701 Even he wouldn't like to see you like this. 969 01:08:24,801 --> 01:08:28,497 Ralph, I need a final statement from her, and if I don't get it, there's gonna be trouble. 970 01:08:28,597 --> 01:08:31,333 - Later, Neely, okay? - Ralph! 971 01:08:31,433 --> 01:08:34,144 How is she? 972 01:08:34,269 --> 01:08:36,646 Well, come on. Farley's expecting her any minute. 973 01:08:36,772 --> 01:08:39,174 You guys get your asses in front of those cameras, 974 01:08:39,274 --> 01:08:42,010 and try and earn yourselves a reputation, okay? 975 01:08:42,110 --> 01:08:44,029 Well, move! 976 01:08:44,154 --> 01:08:46,406 We just wanna ask a few questions. 977 01:08:48,575 --> 01:08:51,353 These are for you, Janet. 978 01:08:51,453 --> 01:08:53,480 They'll make you feel a whole lot better. 979 01:08:53,580 --> 01:08:55,499 Yeah. 980 01:08:59,503 --> 01:09:01,505 Amateurs. 981 01:09:06,259 --> 01:09:09,037 - 'Give us a "J"!' - 'J!' 982 01:09:09,137 --> 01:09:10,706 - 'A!' - 'A!' 983 01:09:10,806 --> 01:09:12,249 - 'N!' - 'N!' 984 01:09:12,349 --> 01:09:13,583 - E! - E! 985 01:09:13,683 --> 01:09:15,460 - Give us a "T"!' - 'T!' 986 01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:18,547 We can't hear you! 987 01:09:18,647 --> 01:09:21,066 - Give us a "J"! - J! 988 01:09:50,846 --> 01:09:54,516 Oh, my God. Character actors. 989 01:09:54,641 --> 01:09:56,710 'Ladies and gentlemen... 990 01:09:56,810 --> 01:10:00,088 'the studio band will soon< be here to entertain you 991 01:10:00,188 --> 01:10:04,092 'in anticipation of tonight's premiere taping 992 01:10:04,192 --> 01:10:07,445 of Farley Flavours' Faith Factory.' 993 01:10:20,917 --> 01:10:24,196 And so if you're a follower of exotic trends in fashion, 994 01:10:24,296 --> 01:10:27,199 you'll find plenty to keep you going here tonight. 995 01:10:27,299 --> 01:10:29,326 And, naturally, feeling the excitement, 996 01:10:29,426 --> 01:10:31,953 and not wishing to stick out like a sore thumb, 997 01:10:32,053 --> 01:10:35,040 I had to get a little outfit of my own together. 998 01:10:35,140 --> 01:10:37,976 And this... 999 01:10:38,101 --> 01:10:40,020 is it. 1000 01:10:57,078 --> 01:10:59,080 'Ladies and gentlemen...' 1001 01:10:59,206 --> 01:11:01,750 to help get you in the mood for Faith Factory... 1002 01:11:01,875 --> 01:11:06,822 DTV proudly presents Denton's own... 1003 01:11:06,922 --> 01:11:10,700 with a suburban garage sound. 1004 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:14,888 Let's hear it for Oscar Drill and the Bits! 1005 01:11:15,013 --> 01:11:16,723 Oh, Oliver. 1006 01:11:16,848 --> 01:11:19,668 This is one time charity didn't begin at home. 1007 01:11:19,768 --> 01:11:20,977 'One, two, three, four!' 1008 01:11:28,109 --> 01:11:33,348 ♪ I know how it feels to be coolin' my heels 1009 01:11:33,448 --> 01:11:36,701 ♪ I've been down on them long enough 1010 01:11:37,827 --> 01:11:41,414 ♪ But if I take to them now 1011 01:11:41,539 --> 01:11:44,484 ♪ Then maybe somehow 1012 01:11:44,584 --> 01:11:46,611 ♪ You'll see through the bluff 1013 01:11:46,711 --> 01:11:48,797 ♪ Of my playin' it tough 1014 01:11:51,049 --> 01:11:53,426 ♪ I've been a lifetime on deposit 1015 01:11:53,551 --> 01:11:56,346 ♪ And that's a long time in the closet 1016 01:11:56,471 --> 01:11:59,040 - ♪ And if you say to me - ♪ How was it 1017 01:11:59,140 --> 01:12:02,377 ♪ It was hard takin' that heartbreakin' 1018 01:12:02,477 --> 01:12:05,021 ♪ Godforsaken route But I'm... ♪ 1019 01:12:05,146 --> 01:12:08,024 - ♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh - ♪ Breakin' out 1020 01:12:09,401 --> 01:12:11,403 Whoo! 1021 01:12:12,487 --> 01:12:15,198 ♪ You may say that you choose 1022 01:12:15,323 --> 01:12:18,243 ♪ To be in my shoes 1023 01:12:18,368 --> 01:12:21,871 ♪ But look what it did for me 1024 01:12:23,665 --> 01:12:26,776 ♪ I got buried alive 1025 01:12:26,876 --> 01:12:29,838 ♪ I don't thrive on that jive 1026 01:12:29,963 --> 01:12:31,881 ♪ Look and you'll see 1027 01:12:32,007 --> 01:12:34,217 ♪ That my spikes don't fit me 1028 01:12:35,760 --> 01:12:38,680 ♪ I've been a lifetime on deposit 1029 01:12:38,805 --> 01:12:41,224 ♪ And that's a long time in the closet 1030 01:12:41,349 --> 01:12:43,935 - ♪ And if you say to me - ♪ How was it 1031 01:12:44,060 --> 01:12:47,480 ♪ It was hard takin' that heartbreakin' ♪ 1032 01:12:47,605 --> 01:12:49,983 ♪ Godforsaken route 1033 01:12:50,108 --> 01:12:52,527 - ♪ But I'm- ♪ - ♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh 1034 01:12:52,652 --> 01:12:54,596 - ♪ Breakin' out - Where are we goin'? 1035 01:12:54,696 --> 01:12:57,615 To a family reunion. 1036 01:12:57,741 --> 01:12:59,409 ♪ Breakin' out 1037 01:12:59,534 --> 01:13:02,287 - Breakin' out! - ♪ Breakin' out 1038 01:13:02,412 --> 01:13:04,956 ♪ Breakin' out ♪ 1039 01:13:18,303 --> 01:13:22,749 And she represents everything our customers want. 1040 01:13:22,849 --> 01:13:24,793 Innocence... 1041 01:13:24,893 --> 01:13:26,920 decency... 1042 01:13:27,020 --> 01:13:28,964 and the illusion of a happy ending. 1043 01:13:29,064 --> 01:13:32,025 Oh, jolly good, Mr. Flavours. 1044 01:13:33,985 --> 01:13:38,390 And behind her image, take-away therapy will thrive 1045 01:13:38,490 --> 01:13:43,603 under the capable hands of two great ethical intellects 1046 01:13:43,703 --> 01:13:45,981 operating on the frontiers of medical science. 1047 01:13:46,081 --> 01:13:47,983 - Huh? Huh? - Mac and Nation. 1048 01:13:48,083 --> 01:13:49,985 Mac and Nation. Yes. Great work. 1049 01:13:50,085 --> 01:13:53,280 And under the firm guidance 1050 01:13:53,380 --> 01:13:56,616 of a great survivor 1051 01:13:56,716 --> 01:13:59,577 in the treacherous sea of diplomacy, 1052 01:13:59,677 --> 01:14:01,663 our own Bert Schnick. 1053 01:14:01,763 --> 01:14:04,291 Huh? 1054 01:14:04,391 --> 01:14:07,102 - Now let's get this show on the road! - Hey! 1055 01:14:10,688 --> 01:14:14,526 Mr. Flavours, may I have a moment of your time? 1056 01:14:15,610 --> 01:14:17,512 Sure thing. 1057 01:14:17,612 --> 01:14:22,767 We've heard rumours that you're going to unveil more than just a new series tonight. 1058 01:14:22,867 --> 01:14:25,312 - Is this true? - Absolutely correct. 1059 01:14:25,412 --> 01:14:28,690 Could you tell us a little more about it? 1060 01:14:28,790 --> 01:14:30,942 Well, let just say... 1061 01:14:31,042 --> 01:14:35,697 we're planning on putting sanity back on the national menu. 1062 01:14:35,797 --> 01:14:39,242 And how does local girl Janet Majors 1063 01:14:39,342 --> 01:14:42,303 fit into the scheme of things? 1064 01:14:46,224 --> 01:14:48,126 Very... 1065 01:14:48,226 --> 01:14:50,186 nicely. 1066 01:14:55,525 --> 01:14:57,527 Brad? 1067 01:14:59,362 --> 01:15:01,431 And he's resented you all these years. 1068 01:15:01,531 --> 01:15:04,392 - And Janet? - She represents everything he was denied. 1069 01:15:04,492 --> 01:15:06,411 Oh. 1070 01:15:06,536 --> 01:15:12,292 'By satellite, Farley Flavours' Faith Factory.' 1071 01:15:12,417 --> 01:15:14,736 Ladies and gentlemen... 1072 01:15:14,836 --> 01:15:17,839 Denton's own, America's pride... 1073 01:15:17,964 --> 01:15:20,300 the world's example... 1074 01:15:20,425 --> 01:15:23,136 Janet, the sensation of the planet. 1075 01:15:23,261 --> 01:15:28,683 We bring you Miss Mental Health. 1076 01:15:38,193 --> 01:15:40,737 Isn't she lovely? 1077 01:15:42,030 --> 01:15:44,574 Mommy and Daddy love you, baby! 1078 01:15:44,699 --> 01:15:48,286 - She walks in beauty. - That's my little girl! 1079 01:15:54,876 --> 01:15:57,112 'Attagirl, Janet!' 1080 01:15:57,212 --> 01:15:59,839 'We love you, baby!' 1081 01:16:04,385 --> 01:16:06,429 'We all love Janet.' 1082 01:16:06,554 --> 01:16:09,265 - Who do we love? - 'Janet!' 1083 01:16:09,390 --> 01:16:12,085 Janet! 1084 01:16:12,185 --> 01:16:16,047 The dress Janet's wearing has been given by Crème de la Crème Modes of downtown Denton, 1085 01:16:16,147 --> 01:16:20,443 and we've been asked that you take note of the individual styling and exquisite tailoring. 1086 01:16:20,568 --> 01:16:24,264 This is just one of the many gifts so freely and generously given to Janet. 1087 01:16:24,364 --> 01:16:28,868 The first of, we hope, many. Miss Mental Health. 1088 01:16:36,167 --> 01:16:39,379 Ladies and gentlemen, the president. 1089 01:16:39,504 --> 01:16:41,656 The president's here! 1090 01:16:41,756 --> 01:16:43,716 Zoom in there. 1091 01:16:54,644 --> 01:17:00,191 Hi, I'm Irwin Lapsey, president of Lapsey Autos. 1092 01:17:01,609 --> 01:17:05,096 And I'm holding in my hand here some keys. 1093 01:17:05,196 --> 01:17:09,826 Keys which I would like to give to the little lady who's being so honoured here tonight. 1094 01:17:11,035 --> 01:17:13,688 And I want to tell you. If she takes these keys 1095 01:17:13,788 --> 01:17:16,165 she will find that they fit something. 1096 01:17:19,168 --> 01:17:23,256 And what that something is, is an almost brand-new 1097 01:17:23,381 --> 01:17:27,577 ultra-deluxe, eight-cylinder convertible, 1098 01:17:27,677 --> 01:17:32,140 complete with radio, tape deck, washable seat covers and many, many extras. 1099 01:17:32,265 --> 01:17:35,602 And it's all hers for absolutely free. 1100 01:17:49,449 --> 01:17:51,476 Well... 1101 01:17:51,576 --> 01:17:55,121 Janet's absolutely speechless, ladies and gentlemen. 1102 01:17:57,332 --> 01:17:59,500 But here's someone we do want to hear from. 1103 01:17:59,626 --> 01:18:02,570 A firm favourite of yours and mine. 1104 01:18:02,670 --> 01:18:04,906 You've revelled in his recipes. 1105 01:18:05,006 --> 01:18:07,300 You've marvelled at his marriage guidance. 1106 01:18:07,425 --> 01:18:11,763 The all-knowing, and now, all-seeing... 1107 01:18:11,888 --> 01:18:14,307 That's right! 1108 01:18:14,432 --> 01:18:18,478 Bert Schnick! 1109 01:18:27,820 --> 01:18:31,949 There. Down there. Come on, Betty. 1110 01:18:35,203 --> 01:18:37,538 Bert, you're beautiful! 1111 01:18:38,748 --> 01:18:41,417 - Hoopla, Denton! - Hoopla, Bert! 1112 01:18:41,542 --> 01:18:45,321 - Thank you. Welcome. - What's cooking, Bert? 1113 01:18:45,421 --> 01:18:49,617 I'll tell you what's cooking, buddy, and I'll tell you too, you guys. 1114 01:18:49,717 --> 01:18:54,013 She made the blind see, and it was a gift. 1115 01:18:54,138 --> 01:18:57,208 Who was the gift from? 1116 01:18:57,308 --> 01:19:00,978 - Let's hear an "F" for... - Farley! 1117 01:19:01,104 --> 01:19:05,149 - And another "F" for... - Flavours! 1118 01:19:29,006 --> 01:19:31,008 My friends! 1119 01:19:32,343 --> 01:19:36,289 And you are all my friends. 1120 01:19:36,389 --> 01:19:42,211 My friends, tonight we are taking the first step of defiance 1121 01:19:42,311 --> 01:19:47,008 and starting something that will grow so big 1122 01:19:47,108 --> 01:19:50,570 that the whole world will reverberate with its sound. 1123 01:19:50,695 --> 01:19:54,699 And wherever our slogan 1124 01:19:54,824 --> 01:19:58,269 "sanity and vanity" 1125 01:19:58,369 --> 01:20:00,688 is uttered, 1126 01:20:00,788 --> 01:20:04,984 it will be linked incontrovertibly with this night, 1127 01:20:05,084 --> 01:20:07,862 this station, 1128 01:20:07,962 --> 01:20:13,551 and this... beautiful face. 1129 01:20:17,805 --> 01:20:20,016 Huh? Come on! This way! 1130 01:20:29,859 --> 01:20:33,321 It's a crazy man! 1131 01:20:35,156 --> 01:20:38,493 - Seducer! - And who are you, sir? 1132 01:20:38,618 --> 01:20:42,455 - Your twin brother and your accuser! - Brad. 1133 01:20:42,580 --> 01:20:45,500 Arrest that man! He's committed to our care. 1134 01:20:46,793 --> 01:20:49,086 I never signed your contract. 1135 01:20:49,212 --> 01:20:52,256 He's not going anywhere. 1136 01:20:52,381 --> 01:20:55,218 To revenge your twin, you tried to abuse her. 1137 01:20:55,343 --> 01:20:57,328 A ridiculous accusation! 1138 01:20:57,428 --> 01:20:59,889 You force me to refuse her. 1139 01:21:02,433 --> 01:21:07,688 - Then why did you choose her? - Because of you, sir. 1140 01:21:07,814 --> 01:21:10,675 ♪ You're a loser 1141 01:21:10,775 --> 01:21:16,347 ♪ An abomination in the eyes of any sensitive man 1142 01:21:16,447 --> 01:21:20,143 ♪ And you're a blind-alley cruiser 1143 01:21:20,243 --> 01:21:23,354 ♪ Always headin' down a losin' straight 1144 01:21:23,454 --> 01:21:25,982 ♪ Dreamin' that you're screamin' at fate 1145 01:21:26,082 --> 01:21:29,235 ♪ You're a dead-end deadbeat nowhere mister 1146 01:21:29,335 --> 01:21:32,280 ♪ With a kisser like a Mississippi alligator sister 1147 01:21:32,380 --> 01:21:37,118 ♪ I've took as much of you as any man can 1148 01:21:37,218 --> 01:21:40,429 - ♪ You've lost your heart - ♪ You've lost your cause 1149 01:21:40,555 --> 01:21:43,307 ♪ You lost your baby when you lost your balls 1150 01:21:43,432 --> 01:21:45,977 ♪ You've lost your mind You've lost your grip 1151 01:21:46,102 --> 01:21:49,188 ♪ So say bye-bye 1152 01:21:49,313 --> 01:21:52,216 ♪ We lost our mom We lost our dad 1153 01:21:52,316 --> 01:21:56,028 ♪ And if I'm losin' you Well, that's too bad 1154 01:21:56,153 --> 01:21:59,015 ♪ Well, the best thing you could ever do 1155 01:21:59,115 --> 01:22:01,200 ♪ Is die 1156 01:22:01,325 --> 01:22:04,078 ♪ You're a failure 1157 01:22:04,203 --> 01:22:07,331 ♪ A malformation in the guise of many 1158 01:22:07,456 --> 01:22:09,876 ♪ An also-ran 1159 01:22:10,001 --> 01:22:13,546 ♪ And you're a weeper and a wailer 1160 01:22:13,671 --> 01:22:15,882 ♪ Always treadin' on the toes of the great 1161 01:22:17,258 --> 01:22:19,760 ♪ Generally spreading your weight 1162 01:22:19,886 --> 01:22:22,763 ♪ You're a spiteful, hateful asinine creature 1163 01:22:22,889 --> 01:22:25,683 ♪ A pupil with no scruples who knew better than the teacher 1164 01:22:25,808 --> 01:22:30,897 ♪ I've took as much of you as any man can 1165 01:22:31,022 --> 01:22:34,150 - ♪ You've lost your heart - ♪ You've lost your cause 1166 01:22:34,275 --> 01:22:37,320 ♪ You lost your baby when you lost your balls 1167 01:22:37,445 --> 01:22:40,348 ♪ You lost your mind when you lost your grip 1168 01:22:40,448 --> 01:22:42,658 ♪ So say bye-bye 1169 01:22:42,783 --> 01:22:45,953 ♪ We lost our home Our family 1170 01:22:46,078 --> 01:22:49,582 ♪ You've lost compassion Now you're losin' me 1171 01:22:49,707 --> 01:22:52,793 ♪ Well, the best thing you could ever do 1172 01:22:52,919 --> 01:22:55,504 ♪ Is die 1173 01:22:55,630 --> 01:23:00,843 ♪ Well, the best thing you could ever do is die 1174 01:23:00,968 --> 01:23:06,015 ♪ Well, the best thing you could ever do is die ♪ 1175 01:23:06,140 --> 01:23:08,935 Take no notice of him. He's mad. 1176 01:23:11,354 --> 01:23:14,148 I'm as sane as you are. 1177 01:23:14,273 --> 01:23:17,401 - Saner! - And he was only with us for one day. 1178 01:23:21,364 --> 01:23:24,809 They should be sent to the Danube at dawn. 1179 01:23:24,909 --> 01:23:26,811 What? 1180 01:23:26,911 --> 01:23:28,913 Just memories. 1181 01:23:33,793 --> 01:23:36,737 We'll edit the tapes. It'll never see airplay. 1182 01:23:36,837 --> 01:23:38,823 Um, I hope Mr. Flavours will accept apologies 1183 01:23:38,923 --> 01:23:41,784 on behalf of all of Denton for this unfortunate incident. 1184 01:23:41,884 --> 01:23:44,178 It seems everyone wants to be related to the great. 1185 01:23:44,303 --> 01:23:47,306 Damn right! 1186 01:23:47,431 --> 01:23:49,292 No offence. No offence. 1187 01:23:49,392 --> 01:23:53,145 On the contrary, this is a perfect example of what we're here to combat. 1188 01:24:07,618 --> 01:24:12,164 Out! Out! Out! Out! 1189 01:24:12,289 --> 01:24:15,251 Out! Out! Out! 1190 01:24:15,376 --> 01:24:17,837 Out! Out! Out! 1191 01:24:17,962 --> 01:24:20,756 Out! Out! Out! 1192 01:24:20,881 --> 01:24:24,635 Out! Out! Out! 1193 01:24:24,760 --> 01:24:27,872 Out! Out! Out! 1194 01:24:27,972 --> 01:24:33,102 Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! 1195 01:24:33,227 --> 01:24:35,730 Out! Out! Out! 1196 01:24:35,855 --> 01:24:39,717 Do you see? You see, the way we got rid of that dirty little dish 1197 01:24:39,817 --> 01:24:43,362 is the way we're going to put the rest of our house in order, 1198 01:24:43,487 --> 01:24:45,614 including the upstairs! 1199 01:24:50,995 --> 01:24:53,497 Ah, yes, yes. Miss. You, yes. 1200 01:24:53,622 --> 01:24:55,583 Would you come up and help us to inaugurate... 1201 01:24:55,708 --> 01:24:59,737 Farley Flavours' Faith Factory, transmitting from coast to coast and continent to continent? 1202 01:24:59,837 --> 01:25:02,907 - You are Miss... Miss... - Macy. Macy Struthers. 1203 01:25:03,007 --> 01:25:06,635 Macy Struthers! 1204 01:25:10,806 --> 01:25:12,767 Who loves you, baby? 1205 01:25:16,020 --> 01:25:18,606 She let me down. 1206 01:25:21,984 --> 01:25:24,095 She let us all down! 1207 01:25:24,195 --> 01:25:27,782 Shut up, Emily, and listen to a success story. 1208 01:25:33,704 --> 01:25:36,107 This could be worse than the old series. 1209 01:25:36,207 --> 01:25:39,001 In the old series, we never had a convertible. 1210 01:25:42,171 --> 01:25:44,965 And remember, sanity today 1211 01:25:46,425 --> 01:25:50,471 is a springboard to the hygienic tomorrow. 1212 01:26:00,815 --> 01:26:04,385 Now will you follow me 1213 01:26:04,485 --> 01:26:07,988 down the DTV trail to Dentonvale? 1214 01:26:12,952 --> 01:26:16,413 Thanks, honey. They bought it. Now out of the way. That's right! 1215 01:26:16,539 --> 01:26:18,315 I can't stand it. 1216 01:26:18,415 --> 01:26:21,043 Everything good always happens to other people. 1217 01:26:38,894 --> 01:26:43,716 And fast-food giant, Farley Flavours has just given Miss Mental Health 1218 01:26:43,816 --> 01:26:47,762 what can only be described as an official kiss of approval. 1219 01:26:47,862 --> 01:26:49,905 And the crowd are loving it 1220 01:26:50,030 --> 01:26:52,933 as they follow her down the Dentonvale trail. 1221 01:26:53,033 --> 01:26:55,077 Hey, look! They're havin' a party. 1222 01:27:02,543 --> 01:27:05,546 Come on, you guys. We're gonna miss out on the action. 1223 01:27:05,671 --> 01:27:08,257 'Hurry! Get in there!' 1224 01:27:16,765 --> 01:27:19,476 ♪ Some people do it for compassion 1225 01:27:20,853 --> 01:27:24,965 ♪ Some people do it for the fashion 1226 01:27:25,065 --> 01:27:29,053 ♪ Some people do it to be funny 1227 01:27:29,153 --> 01:27:33,057 ♪ Some people do it for the money 1228 01:27:33,157 --> 01:27:36,894 ♪ Some people do it for enslavement 1229 01:27:36,994 --> 01:27:41,457 - ♪ Some people do it on the pavement - ♪ But 1230 01:27:41,582 --> 01:27:44,276 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1231 01:27:44,376 --> 01:27:47,404 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1232 01:27:47,504 --> 01:27:52,701 ♪ We're gonna do it no matter how the wind is blowing 1233 01:27:52,801 --> 01:27:55,496 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1234 01:27:55,596 --> 01:27:58,374 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1235 01:27:58,474 --> 01:28:02,628 ♪ We're gonna do it We just gotta keep going 1236 01:28:02,728 --> 01:28:05,422 ♪ Some people do it for each other 1237 01:28:05,522 --> 01:28:08,400 ♪ Some people do it for their lover 1238 01:28:08,525 --> 01:28:10,945 ♪ Some people do it for improvement 1239 01:28:11,070 --> 01:28:13,489 ♪ Some people do it for the movement 1240 01:28:13,614 --> 01:28:16,825 ♪ Some people do it for enjoyment 1241 01:28:16,951 --> 01:28:18,911 ♪ Some people do it for employment 1242 01:28:19,036 --> 01:28:20,855 ♪ But 1243 01:28:20,955 --> 01:28:23,607 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1244 01:28:23,707 --> 01:28:26,402 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1245 01:28:26,502 --> 01:28:31,991 ♪ We're gonna do it no matter how the wind is blowing 1246 01:28:32,091 --> 01:28:34,827 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1247 01:28:34,927 --> 01:28:37,955 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1248 01:28:38,055 --> 01:28:42,810 ♪ We're gonna do it We just gotta keep going 1249 01:28:44,937 --> 01:28:47,564 ♪ Denton, Denton You've got 1250 01:28:47,690 --> 01:28:50,009 ♪ No pretension 1251 01:28:50,109 --> 01:28:55,598 ♪ You're where the heart is You're okay 1252 01:28:55,698 --> 01:28:58,492 ♪ Denton, Denton You've got 1253 01:28:58,617 --> 01:29:00,936 ♪ No pretension 1254 01:29:01,036 --> 01:29:04,273 ♪ You're the acceptable face 1255 01:29:04,373 --> 01:29:06,525 ♪ Of the human race 1256 01:29:06,625 --> 01:29:11,171 ♪ You're Denton Denton, U.S.A. 1257 01:29:12,423 --> 01:29:15,075 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1258 01:29:15,175 --> 01:29:18,162 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1259 01:29:18,262 --> 01:29:22,833 ♪ We're gonna do it no matter how the wind is blowing 1260 01:29:22,933 --> 01:29:26,212 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow, anyhow 1261 01:29:26,312 --> 01:29:29,298 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1262 01:29:29,398 --> 01:29:33,636 ♪ We're gonna do it We just gotta keep going 1263 01:29:33,736 --> 01:29:36,305 ♪ We just gotta keep going 1264 01:29:36,405 --> 01:29:39,700 ♪ We just gotta keep going 1265 01:29:44,872 --> 01:29:48,484 'The sun never sets on those who ride into it. 1266 01:29:48,584 --> 01:29:51,170 ♪ We just gotta keep going ♪ 1267 01:32:20,486 --> 01:32:24,198 ♪ I'm not a locum with motive to suture myself 1268 01:32:24,323 --> 01:32:27,559 ♪ I've been a cynic for too many years 1269 01:32:27,659 --> 01:32:31,497 ♪ Playin' doctor and nurse It can be good for your health 1270 01:32:31,622 --> 01:32:37,085 ♪ I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in Tangiers 1271 01:32:38,545 --> 01:32:43,217 ♪ But if you open your heart to a smooth operator 1272 01:32:43,342 --> 01:32:46,078 ♪ He'll take you for all that you've got 1273 01:32:46,178 --> 01:32:49,957 ♪ He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later 1274 01:32:50,057 --> 01:32:55,796 ♪ It'll shake you the way he takes off like a shot 1275 01:32:55,896 --> 01:32:59,842 ♪ You need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1276 01:32:59,942 --> 01:33:02,719 ♪ Get you jumpin' like a real live wire 1277 01:33:02,819 --> 01:33:06,932 ♪ You need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1278 01:33:07,032 --> 01:33:10,018 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 1279 01:33:10,118 --> 01:33:13,413 ♪ For a vista that'll mystify ya 1280 01:33:15,415 --> 01:33:19,361 ♪ You're blinded by romance You're blinded by science 1281 01:33:19,461 --> 01:33:22,614 ♪ Your condition is critically grave 1282 01:33:22,714 --> 01:33:26,910 ♪ But don't expect mercy from such an alliance 1283 01:33:27,010 --> 01:33:32,708 ♪ Suspicion of tradition's so new wave 1284 01:33:32,808 --> 01:33:36,587 ♪ You need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1285 01:33:36,687 --> 01:33:39,506 ♪ Gets you jumping like a real live wire 1286 01:33:39,606 --> 01:33:43,677 ♪ You need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1287 01:33:43,777 --> 01:33:46,847 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 1288 01:33:46,947 --> 01:33:49,449 ♪ For a sister that'll certify you ♪ 99785