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1
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:08,909
HI, MOM.
2
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,244
HI, HONEY.
3
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,945
HOW WAS BRIDGE GAME?
4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,781
I DROPPED A BUNDLE.
5
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,485
MABEL AND CLARA
CHEATED AGAIN.
6
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:21,089
I JUST KNOW THEY'RE
SENDING SIGNALS
WITH THEIR DENTURES.
7
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:27,061
WELL, WHY DO YOU KEEP
PLAYING WITH THEM?
8
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:29,397
ALL MY HONEST FRIENDS
ARE DEAD.
9
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,202
WELL, MA,
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
10
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,669
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
11
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,471
THEY ALL OWED ME MONEY.
12
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,675
AND SPEAKING
OF DEATH AND MONEY,
13
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:44,745
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO BUY SOME INSURANCE?
14
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:45,946
EXCUSE ME?
15
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:48,082
WELL,
MABEL'S SON REUBEN,
16
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,318
HE STARTED
SELLING INSURANCE.
17
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,052
I THINK YOU SHOULD BUY SOME.
18
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,188
FORGET IT, MA.
19
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,590
THE LAST THING I NEED
IS MORE INSURANCE.
20
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,592
AAH!
21
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:02,263
[CRASH]
22
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,567
CARL, ARE YOU OKAY?
23
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:08,969
MA?
24
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,003
YES, CARL?
25
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,172
CALL REUBEN.
26
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,640
HALLELUJAH.
27
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:25,052
* IT'S A RARE CONDITION *
28
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,554
* IN THIS DAY AND AGE *
29
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:30,258
* TO READ ANY GOOD NEWS
ON THE NEWSPAPER PAGE *
30
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:33,494
* AND LOVE AND TRADITION
OF THE GRAND DESIGN *
31
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:38,266
* SOME PEOPLE SAY
IS EVEN HARDER TO FIND *
32
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,302
* WELL, THEN, THERE MUST BE
SOME MAGIC CLUE *
33
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:45,739
* INSIDE THESE GENTLE WALLS *
34
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:49,277
* 'CAUSE ALL I SEE
IS A TOWER OF DREAMS *
35
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:53,981
* REAL LOVE BURSTIN'
OUT OF EVERY SEAM *
36
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,917
* AS DAYS GO BY *
37
00:01:56,984 --> 00:02:01,189
* WE'RE GONNA FILL OUR HOUSE
WITH HAPPINESS *
38
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:04,225
* THE MOON MAY CRY *
39
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:07,795
* WE'RE GONNA SMOTHER THE BLUES
WITH TENDERNESS *
40
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:11,399
* WHEN DAYS GO BY *
41
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,301
* THERE'S ROOM FOR YOU *
42
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:18,872
* ROOM FOR ME FOR GENTLE HEARTS
AN OPPORTUNITY *
43
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:22,210
* AS DAYS GO BY *
44
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:26,214
* IT'S THE BIGGER LOVE
OF THE FAMILY *
45
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,860
JUDY, YOU'VE BEEN STALLING
FOR OVER AN HOUR.
46
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,762
GO TO BED.
47
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:42,830
SHOOT.
48
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:46,834
I WAS THIS CLOSE
TO ARSENIO.
49
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,672
I THOUGHT
SHE'D NEVER LEAVE.
50
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,410
YOU GUYS
GOT A MINUTE?
51
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:59,713
GEE, A WHOLE
FIVE SECONDS ALONE.
52
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,915
IS ALL IT TOOK
TO GET JUDY.
53
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,287
MOM, DAD,
MY LIFE IS OVER.
54
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,155
WHAT'S WRONG, HONEY?
55
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,624
SCIENCE CLASS.
I'M IN BIG TROUBLE.
56
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:13,927
I MAY GET A "B."
57
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,265
I GOT A "B" ONCE.
I FRAMED IT.
58
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,167
DAD, THIS IS SERIOUS.
59
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,736
I CAN'T AFFORD TO GET A "B"
ON MY PERMANENT RECORD.
60
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:27,040
FROM NOW ON,
NO PARTIES AND NO TV.
61
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,108
UH, BUT--
62
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:29,577
IN FACT, I'M GROUNDED.
63
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:30,611
LAURA.
64
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:31,512
DON'T ARGUE.
65
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,714
SOMEDAY I'LL THANK
MYSELF FOR THIS.
66
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,653
GEE, I HOPE WE WEREN'T
TOO HARD ON HER.
67
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,896
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
68
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:52,232
CLASS, TRY TO FOCUS
YOUR VACANT STARES
69
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,734
IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION.
70
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,439
AHEM. TODAY
WE'LL BE VISITING
71
00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:00,874
THE WONDERFUL WORLD
OF CRUSTACEANS.
72
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,413
OH, DEAR.
73
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,381
I LEFT MY CRABS
IN THE CAR.
74
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,584
WHILE I'M GONE,
START THINKING ABOUT
75
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,353
YOUR UPCOMING
SCIENCE PROJECT,
76
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:15,122
WHICH WILL COUNT FOR 50%
OF YOUR FINAL GRADE.
77
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,425
OH.
OH.
78
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,059
YOU WILL ALL PARTNER OFF,
79
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,161
AND THE BEST PROJECT
WILL BE ENTERED
80
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,464
IN THE CITY SCIENCE FAIR.
81
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:25,999
OOH! OOH!
82
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,702
OOH-OOH-OOO-OOO-OOO!
83
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,270
YES, STEVEN.
84
00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:33,040
CAN WE PICK ANY FIELD
OF SCIENTIFIC ENDEAVOR?
85
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,743
SURE. IT'S WIDE OPEN.
86
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,244
ALRIGHT!
87
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,046
THREE CHEERS
FOR MR. NAGY!
88
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,548
HIP, HIP...
89
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,187
BLESS YOU, STEVEN.
90
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,189
FORTUNATE INDEED
IS THE STUDENT
91
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,058
WHO GET'S TO BE
YOUR PARTNER.
92
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:58,399
HEY, STEVE,
BUDDY, PARTNER,
93
00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,568
WHO ARE YOU BRINGING TO MY
PARTY THIS SATURDAY?
94
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,336
I DIDN'T KNOW
I WAS INVITED.
95
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:05,238
HE CAN'T GO.
HE HAS A DATE WITH ME.
96
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,708
I DO?
97
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,810
URK-MAN,
PARTNER UP WITH ME
98
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:10,744
AND I'LL INTRODUCE YOU
99
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,780
TO EVERY CHEERLEADER
IN THIS TOWN.
100
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,883
AH, WELL, HEY, GUYS,
GIVE ME ROOM.
101
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:23,023
BOY, SOME PEOPLE WOULD DO
ANYTHING TO GET A GOOD GRADE.
102
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,792
YEAH.
103
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,327
YOU THINK URKEL COULD USE
A NEW POCKET PROTECTOR?
104
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,671
[DOORBELL RINGS]
105
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,779
HELLO,
MY HEAVENLY HOSTESS.
106
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,249
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST BARGE IN
LIKE YOU USUALLY DO?
107
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,018
WELL, SINCE THIS
IS THE FIRST TIME
108
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,285
YOU ACTUALLY INVITED ME,
109
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,855
I THOUGHT I'D RING
THE DOORBELL.
110
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:55,956
COME ON IN.
111
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,928
THAT'S QUITE
AN OUTFIT, STEVE...
112
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,097
EVEN FOR YOU.
113
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,001
THANKS. MY ENTIRE ENSEMBLE
114
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,904
IS COMPRISED OF GIFTS
FROM DESPERATE CLASSMATES,
115
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,874
ALL THE WAY DOWN TO MY
ENRICO FERMI ODOR EATERS.
116
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,844
WHAT A THOUGHTFUL GIFT.
117
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:21,582
SO WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND,
MY LITTLE PETRI DISH?
118
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:28,288
I WAS HOPING WE COULD BE
PARTNERS ON THE SCIENCE PROJECT.
119
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:31,759
OH, YOU WERE, WERE YOU?
120
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,928
WELL, WELL, WELL.
121
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,363
MY, MY, MY.
122
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:39,299
GEE, GEE, GEE.
123
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:40,501
FORGET IT. GO HOME.
124
00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,402
NO, NO, NO!
125
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,872
I'M NOT SAYING THAT
I WON'T BE YOUR PARTNER.
126
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,239
THEN WHAT ARE
YOU SAYING?
127
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:49,376
I'M SAYING
THAT I'M IN DEMAND.
128
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:52,079
IN OTHER WORDS,
I'M IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT
129
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,314
AND YOU'RE
THE HITCHHIKER.
130
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,450
MAKE ME PULL OVER.
131
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,596
IF YOU CHOOSE ME
TO BE YOUR PARTNER,
132
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,698
OUR RELATIONSHIP
MIGHT CHANGE.
133
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,834
I'M HITTING THE BRAKE.
134
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,672
WE'D HAVE TO SPEND A LOT
OF TIME ALONE TOGETHER.
135
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,041
OOH. I'M PULLING
ONTO THE SHOULDER.
136
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,981
EVERY DAY
AND EVEN SOME NIGHTS.
137
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,523
OOH. I'M OPENING
THE PASSENGER DOOR.
138
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:41,261
IF WE GET AN "A," WE'LL
CELEBRATE BY GOING TO A MOVIE.
139
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:43,864
OOH. HOP IN, BABY!
140
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,333
SO WE'RE PARTNERS?
141
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,467
FOR LIFE.
142
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,603
LET'S START WITH
THE SCIENCE PROJECT.
143
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:53,273
IT'S GOT TO BE A KILLER,
A GUARANTEED "A."
144
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,808
NO SWEAT, MY PET.
145
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,244
I'LL GET BUSY
IN MY BASEMENT LAB.
146
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,378
BUT IN THE MEANTIME,
147
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,213
I'LL MAKE LIKE AN ATOM
AND SPLIT.
148
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,929
I'LL RETURN THAT TO YOU
AT THE MOVIES. OOH.
149
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,601
YES!
150
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,036
LAURA...
151
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,639
YOU'RE GOING
TO THE MOVIES
WITH STEVE?
152
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,741
I WANTED HIM TO BE
MY SCIENCE PARTNER.
153
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,509
I HAD TO PROMISE
HIM SOMETHING.
154
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:32,145
OH, NOW,
WAIT A MINUTE.
155
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:35,448
LAURA, DON'T
YOU THINK YOU'RE
SORT OF...
156
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,717
USING HIM?
157
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,653
NO. STEVE GETS
TO SPEND TIME WITH ME,
158
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:43,290
AND I GET AN "A" IN SCIENCE.
IT'S A FAIR EXCHANGE.
159
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,458
HONEY, IT'S NOT FAIR.
160
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,860
YOU'RE
LEADING HIM ON,
161
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,630
AND STEVE HAS REAL
FEELINGS FOR YOU.
162
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:52,299
THEY'RE WEIRD
URKEL FEELINGS...
163
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,603
BUT THEY'RE REAL.
164
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,205
NOBODY'S GOING
TO GET HURT.
165
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:01,441
I HOPE NOT, LAURA.
166
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,043
BUT I'M WARNING YOU.
167
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,679
THIS THING COULD BLOW UP
IN YOUR FACE.
168
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,105
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
169
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,306
WHO IS IT?
170
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:34,908
IT'S ME--LAURA.
171
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,912
OH, MY GOODNESS.
172
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,948
GOT TO HIDE
MY UNMENTIONABLES.
173
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,759
OOH.
174
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:03,904
[BUZZER]
175
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,048
WELCOME, MY SWEET.
176
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,019
AT LAST, YOU'RE HERE
IN MY INNER SANCTUM.
177
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,789
ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU
THE GRAND TOUR.
178
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,361
BUGS?
179
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:29,797
500 DIFFERENT
SPECIES,
180
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:33,701
ALL CAUGHT AND HAND-MOUNTED
BY YOURS TRULY.
181
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:35,535
THIS IS TOM.
182
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,771
THIS IS RUFUS.
THAT'S BENNY--
183
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:40,507
STEVE, YOU CAN
INTRODUCE US LATER.
184
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,442
JUST SHOW ME THE PROJECT.
185
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:43,711
OKAY.
186
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,046
RIGHT THIS WAY.
RIGHT THIS WAY.
187
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,514
NOW, FASTEN
YOUR SEAT BELT,
188
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,983
'CAUSE THIS BABY'S
GOING TO BLOW
YOUR BLOOMERS OFF.
189
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,591
WOW! THIS IS GREAT!
190
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,228
WHAT IS IT?
191
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:05,432
YOU'RE LOOKING
AT A 50-MEGATON
THERMONUCLEAR DEVICE.
192
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,466
YOU MEAN--
193
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,435
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
194
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,038
YOUR VERY OWN...
195
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,006
ATOM BOMB.
196
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,657
I KNEW YOU'D
BE THRILLED.
197
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,726
IT'S JUST A MODEL, RIGHT?
IT CAN'T EXPLODE.
198
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,127
OF COURSE, IT CAN.
199
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,564
I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH
TO BUILD YOU A DUD.
200
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,600
WHERE DID YOU GET
RADIOACTIVE STUFF?
201
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:43,503
I CALLED MY UNCLE
AT THE PENTAGON--
202
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,106
COLONEL DIRK URKEL.
203
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,809
THERE'S AN URKEL
IN OUR DEFENSE DEPARTMENT?
204
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:54,247
UNCLE DIRK SENT ME SOME
URANIUM SCRAPS C.O.D.
205
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,317
STEVE, ISN'T THIS
AGAINST THE LAW?
206
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,819
OH, SURE.
207
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:02,555
POSSESSION OF A DEADLY
RADIOACTIVE SUBSTANCE
IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE,
208
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,257
PUNISHABLE BY LIFE
IN PRISON.
209
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,359
BUT, HEY, NO GUTS,
NO GLORY.
210
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,497
I CAN'T GO TO JAIL.
211
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,866
DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
TO COPS' KIDS IN JAIL?
212
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,468
EASY, EASY!
213
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,637
OOH! OOH! OOH!
214
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,907
EASY.
THE COAT IS RENTED.
215
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,711
WELL, YOU SAID
YOU WANTED
A KILLER PROJECT--
216
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,179
A GUARANTEED "A."
217
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,882
SO I BUILT YOU
AN "A" BOMB. GET IT?
218
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,186
BUT WHAT IF IT GOES OFF?
219
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,588
IMPOSSIBLE,
MY CAUTIOUS CUTIE.
220
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:39,359
THE DETONATOR
IS COMPUTERIZED
AND VOICE ACTIVATED.
221
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,963
IT CAN ONLY GO OFF
BY SAYING ONE
VERY SPECIAL WORD.
222
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,336
"BUTTERCUP"?
223
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,705
THE COMPUTER
WILL ONLY RECOGNIZE
MY VOICE PATTERN.
224
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,741
NOW, DON'T WORRY
YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD.
225
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:55,943
JUST POLISH OUR BOMB
226
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,811
AND MAKE IT LOOK NICE
FOR THE JUDGES.
227
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:06,753
SWEETS FOR THE SWEET?
228
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:10,023
PERHAPS A JUJUBE
OR A CHOCOLATE KISS?
229
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,793
NO, THANK YOU.
230
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,428
NOT EVEN
A PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
231
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:27,540
UH-OH.
232
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:30,543
YOU HAVE ACTIVATED
YOUR NU-NU-NUCLEAR DEVICE.
233
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:34,181
10 MINUTES UNTIL
A REALLY BIG BOOM--BOOM.
234
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:39,019
STEVE, STOP KIDDING.
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
235
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:40,653
YOU'RE TELLING ME!
236
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,122
TURN IT OFF.
237
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:43,123
I CAN'T.
238
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,225
IT'S EQUIPPED WITH
A FAIL-SAFE DEVICE.
239
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:48,161
ONCE THE PROGRAM IS ACTIVATED,
IT CAN'T BE STOPPED.
240
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:51,298
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT,
B-B-B-BUB.
241
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:58,071
OUCH!
242
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:01,942
WHY, I OUGHT TO
V-V-VAPORIZE YOU RIGHT NOW.
243
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,978
WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!
244
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,286
OH, NOW, THAT'S JUST
PLAIN PATHETIC.
245
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,558
DON'T PANIC, MY LOVE.
246
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,093
IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,
247
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,930
THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE
DURING A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION
248
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,831
IS IN A REINFORCED
BASEMENT.
249
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:28,435
NOT WHEN THE BOMB
IS IN THE BASEMENT WITH YOU.
250
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:29,736
GOOD POINT.
251
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,104
PANIC!
252
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:34,707
S-S-S-SEVEN MINUTES LEFT.
253
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,210
YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE EXPOSED
TO 3 B-B-BILLION RADS
254
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,845
OF DEADLY RADIATION.
255
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,480
BUT LOOK
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE--
256
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,649
SOON YOU'LL BE
YOUR OWN NIGHT LIGHT.
257
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,221
WHERE ARE YOU GOING,
MY NUCLEAR NYMPH?
258
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,023
I HAVE TO
WARN MY FAMILY.
259
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,525
BESIDES, YOURS
IS NOT THE LAST FACE
I WANT TO SEE.
260
00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,633
LET'S TALK
HOMEOWNER'S INSURANCE.
261
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,235
YOUR HOME IS
A BIG INVESTMENT,
262
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:04,604
AND IT NEEDS
BIG PROTECTION.
263
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:09,476
REUBEN, WE'RE ALREADY
COVERED FOR FIRE, FLOOD,
264
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,044
LOCUSTS, MOSQUITOES--
265
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,213
HOW ABOUT TORNADOES?
266
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,220
MOM! DAD!
267
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:23,023
URKEL BUILT AN ATOM BOMB
THAT'S ABOUT TO GO OFF!
268
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,792
CARL, I'M WORRIED
ABOUT LAURA.
269
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,428
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY BEEN
STUDYING TOO HARD.
270
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:30,697
YEAH, SHE'S SNAPPED.
271
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,333
I HAVEN'T SNAPPED.
URKEL DID BUILD AN ATOMIC BOMB,
272
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,002
AND IT IS ABOUT TO GO OFF..
273
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,570
THAT DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE OUR STEVE.
274
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,108
ACTUALLY, IT WAS MY FAULT.
275
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,675
I PUT HIM UP TO IT.
276
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,044
[GASP] [GASP]
[GASP]
277
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,882
DO YOU SEE WHAT
YOUR DAUGHTER HAS DONE?
278
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,318
OH, SURE.
279
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,186
SHE MAKES THE HONOR ROLL,
SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER.
280
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:56,289
SHE BLOWS UP THE WORLD,
SHE'S MY DAUGHTER.
281
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:59,659
THERE IS NO EXCUSE
FOR YOUR BEHAVIOR.
282
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,761
YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR...
283
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,330
WHEN IS THE BOMB
GOING OFF?
284
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,497
FIVE MINUTES!
285
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:05,532
FOR FIVE MINUTES.
286
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,935
NOW, GO TO YOUR ROOM
AND STAY THERE
287
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,703
UNTIL YOU'RE BLOWN
OUT OF IT.
288
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,707
YOU GUYS,
WE'RE GOING TO DIE!
289
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,043
WELL, THAT'S LIFE.
290
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,245
THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE SAY.
291
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,113
RIDING HIGH
IN APRIL,
292
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,614
BLOWN UP IN MAY.
293
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:26,453
* BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA
LET IT GET US DOWN *
294
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,988
* 'CAUSE THIS
FINE OLD WORLD *
295
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,857
* KEEPS SPINNIN' 'ROUND *
296
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,325
* I'VE BEEN
A PUPPET *
297
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,194
* A PAUPER *
* A PIRATE *
298
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,029
* A POET *
* A PAWN *
299
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,564
* AND A KING *
300
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:41,068
* I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN
AND OVER AND OUT *
301
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,370
* AND I KNOW ONE THING *
302
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:46,739
* EACH TIME I FIND MYSELF *
303
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,908
* FLAT ON MY FACE *
304
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:51,778
* I JUST PICK MYSELF UP *
305
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,715
* AND GET BACK
IN THE RACE *
306
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,884
* THAT'S LIFE *
307
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,152
* THAT'S LIFE *
308
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,687
* BETTER
BELIEVE IT *
309
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,156
* THAT'S WHAT I SAY *
310
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,657
* RIDING HIGH
IN APRIL *
311
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:05,958
911.
312
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,527
I'LL DIAL 911.
313
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,472
DO YOU MIND?
314
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,773
EDDIE, HANG UP.
315
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:24,077
FORGET IT, LAURA.
I'M ON THE PHONE WITH JALINE.
316
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,346
SHE THINKS I'M CUTER
THAN FRESH PRINCE.
317
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,483
I NEED THE PHONE.
IT'S AN EMERGENCY.
318
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,618
SO IS THIS.
319
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,420
I DON'T HAVE A DATE
FOR SATURDAY NIGHT.
320
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,523
THERE WONT BE A SATURDAY NIGHT
IF I DON'T GET THAT PHONE.
321
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,192
GET OFF OF ME.
LET ME GO.
322
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:45,498
EDDIE.
323
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,208
*
* *
324
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:57,777
HELLO, LAURA.
325
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,148
AUNT RACHEL?
326
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,450
SO, YOU USED STEVE,
327
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:06,286
AND NOW HE'S GOING TO
BLOW US ALL UP.
328
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:09,456
HOW CAN YOU BE AN ANGEL WHEN THE
BOMB HASN'T EXPLODED YET?
329
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:13,293
OH, LAURA, WHY WAIT
TILL THE LAST MINUTE?
330
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:17,330
BESIDES, I WANT
TO LOOK MY BEST
FOR SAINT PETER.
331
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,166
AUNT RACHEL,
YOU WERE RIGHT.
332
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:22,302
YOU SAID IF I USED STEVE,
IT BLEW UP IN MY FACE.
333
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:24,036
CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?
334
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,938
WELL, SURE, I CAN,
335
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:28,308
BUT I'M NOT SO SURE
ABOUT SAINT PETER.
336
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,877
AFTER ALL,
DESTROYING CHICAGO
WON'T LOOK GOOD
337
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,345
ON YOUR
PERMANENT RECORD.
338
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,549
*
* *
339
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,654
I'M SO SORRY.
340
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,990
I'M SO SORRY.
341
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,092
5...4...
342
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,194
3...
343
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,196
2...1.
344
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,470
DID I DO THAT?
345
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:04,944
I'M SO SORRY.
346
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:07,046
I'M SO SORRY.
347
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,815
SO SORRY.
I'M SO SORRY.
348
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,290
I'M SORRY.
SORRY.
349
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,095
AAH!
350
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,631
AAH!
351
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,842
I'M ALIVE!
352
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,143
YOU'RE ALIVE!
353
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,911
OH, CALM DOWN, LAURA.
354
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,880
YOU WERE JUST HAVING
A NIGHTMARE.
355
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,484
IT WAS TERRIBLE.
356
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,919
YOU BUILT AN ATOM BOMB
FOR OUR SCIENCE PROJECT.
357
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,289
MR. NAGY
WAS SELLING INSURANCE.
358
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:52,925
MY PARENTS
WERE SINGING OFF-KEY.
359
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,527
AND THEN
WE BLEW UP CHICAGO.
360
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:58,231
WELL, GEE, LAURA,
I'D NEVER BUILD
AN ATOM BOMB.
361
00:19:58,298 --> 00:19:59,832
ALTHOUGH I COULD.
362
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:05,505
STEVE, SIT DOWN.
363
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,844
LOOK, I OWE YOU
AN APOLOGY.
364
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,180
THE ONLY REASON I ASKED
YOU TO BE MY PARTNER
365
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,549
BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED
ABOUT MY GRADE.
366
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,719
WHEN I SAID MY FEELINGS
FOR YOU MIGHT CHANGE, I LIED,
367
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:20,820
AND I'M SORRY.
368
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,525
SO YOU USED ME.
369
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:31,030
YOU TRIFLED
WITH MY EMOTIONS.
370
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,465
I OFFERED YOU MY HEART,
371
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,967
AND YOU STOMPED
THAT SUCKER FLAT!
372
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,239
YES.
373
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:43,276
NO BIGGIE.
374
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:45,778
WHAT?
375
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,515
WELL, YOU 'FESSED UP.
THAT'S WHAT COUNTS.
376
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:51,984
YOUR HONESTY ONLY
MAKES ME LOVE YOU MORE.
377
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,887
SO WILL YOU STILL
BE MY PARTNER?
378
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,256
HEY, YOU BET, MY PET.
379
00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:59,559
THANKS, STEVE.
380
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,330
HOLD IT.
381
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:06,132
A FEW MINUTES AGO,
WAS IT JUST MY IMAGINATION,
382
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,368
OR DID YOU ACTUALLY
HUG ME?
383
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:09,736
I HUGGED YOU.
384
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,404
JUST CHECKING.
385
00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:27,987
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
PRESENTING THE WORLD'S
GREATEST SCIENCE PROJECT--
386
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:30,590
THE LAURA.
387
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,759
WOW.
WOW. OH, STEVE.
388
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:33,793
THAT'S NEAT!
389
00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:34,827
IT LOOKS REAL.
390
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:36,429
OF COURSE IT'S REAL.
391
00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:38,130
THE LAURA HAS
A PERFECTLY CALIBRATED
392
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:40,099
SOLID FUEL-TO-MASS RATIO,
393
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,402
THIS BABY CAN MAKE IT
TO THE MOON AND BACK.
394
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,504
WELL, HOP ON
AND TAKE OFF.
395
00:21:44,571 --> 00:21:48,007
YOU COULD BE THE FIRST
URKEL IN SPACE.
396
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:49,642
YEAH, MAKE IT FLY.
397
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:52,211
NO ROCKET LAUNCHING
IN THE HOUSE.
398
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:54,381
NOT TO WORRY, WINSLOWS.
399
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:55,948
THE LAURA
CAN ONLY BE LAUNCHED
400
00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:57,450
BY PUNCHING IN
A COMPLICATED SERIES
401
00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:59,419
OF COMMANDS INTO
THE REMOTE CONTROL.
402
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:02,955
[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]
403
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:04,023
OOPS.
404
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:06,426
[RUMBLING]
405
00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:20,673
GEE, WHAT
A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
406
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,278
UH, COME HERE, STEVE.
407
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,346
COME HERE.
408
00:22:27,414 --> 00:22:28,381
UH-UH.
409
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:29,382
COME HERE.
410
00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:30,617
GET HIM!
411
00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:31,418
GET HIM!
412
00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:33,520
HURRY UP! GET HIM!
27478
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