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1
00:00:02,835 --> 00:00:06,003
Well, guys, here it
Is, lunchtime again,
2
00:00:06,071 --> 00:00:09,773
Otherwise known as
"Mother's revenge."
3
00:00:09,842 --> 00:00:11,275
Yeah, I hear ya, arnold.
4
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:16,014
That's one form of child abuse
They ain't doin' nothin' about.
5
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:19,851
Let's see what those little
Mothers packed for us today, eh?
6
00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:21,986
Oh, my.
7
00:00:22,054 --> 00:00:23,688
What you got, arnold?
8
00:00:23,756 --> 00:00:26,623
Peanut butter and prune,
9
00:00:26,692 --> 00:00:30,628
And she knows I
Hate peanut butter.
10
00:00:30,696 --> 00:00:32,263
Well, it beats what I got,
11
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:34,265
A leftover turkey sandwich.
12
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:35,911
Well, what's wrong
With that, freddie?
13
00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:39,436
It was leftover since
Last thanksgiving.
14
00:00:39,505 --> 00:00:40,972
What do you got, little juan?
15
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,174
I got my typical wednesday
Afternoon special,
16
00:00:44,243 --> 00:00:47,344
Chopped liver burrito.
17
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,580
Startin' to eat without me?
18
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:51,916
Hey, I got a good lunch
Today, listen to this.
19
00:00:51,984 --> 00:00:56,520
Swiss cheese and
Cornflakes on rye.
20
00:00:56,589 --> 00:01:01,358
Suddenly, my peanut butter
And prune sounds very tasty.
21
00:01:01,427 --> 00:01:03,260
No, it's neat, you
Know what you do?
22
00:01:03,329 --> 00:01:05,474
You take the swiss cheese
And you take corn flakes
23
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,409
And you stuff
It in little holes.
24
00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:08,944
This way, when you
Eat it, you don't get
25
00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:12,470
Any corn flakes on your lap.
26
00:01:12,538 --> 00:01:14,416
Hey, guys, what do you
Say we have a grab bag, huh?
27
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,474
Go ahead, put it on in.
28
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,877
Shake it up.
29
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:21,690
Okay, now everybody
Close your eyes, all right?
30
00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:27,384
Okay, get on your
Mark, get set, grab!
31
00:01:35,761 --> 00:01:37,962
What you got, arnold?
32
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,998
Peanut butter.
33
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:42,600
Turkey.
34
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:45,302
Chopped liver burrito.
35
00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:46,436
I got corn flakes.
36
00:01:46,505 --> 00:01:49,773
Hey, this was a good idea.
37
00:01:49,842 --> 00:01:52,242
Well, well, well,
Look at this, murray.
38
00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:54,311
The little babies is
Eatin' their lunches
39
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:57,714
That their mommies
Made for them.
40
00:01:57,783 --> 00:02:01,251
He say you eatin' baby food.
41
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,654
Hey, guys, didn't you know
That it was bad manners
42
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:07,358
To look so ugly where
People was eatin'?
43
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:09,071
Yeah, well, uh,
Anyway you look at it,
44
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:11,428
Uh, you guys are sittin'
There brown-baggin' it
45
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:15,365
And, uh, I'm eatin' a
Lunch that's been made
46
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,201
By a professional.
47
00:02:17,269 --> 00:02:19,736
Oh.
48
00:02:19,805 --> 00:02:24,208
A real, live burger.
49
00:02:24,276 --> 00:02:26,710
Hey, I know they didn't make
That in the school cafeteria.
50
00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:29,113
- of course not.
- he say, "Of course not."
51
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:32,616
I got this at the burgerzaar
52
00:02:32,685 --> 00:02:34,651
Where the burgers are.
53
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:39,223
See, uh, this is a, uh,
A rasputin special,
54
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:42,393
With, uh, russian dressin'.
55
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:46,864
He's talkin' about a
Commi burger to go.
56
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:49,466
Hey, guys, maybe we could go
There tomorrow for lunch, huh?
57
00:02:49,535 --> 00:02:52,470
Forget it, unless you got
A car, you can't eat there.
58
00:02:52,538 --> 00:02:54,872
It's a, uh, strictly
A drive-in joint.
59
00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:58,108
He say no wheels, no meals.
60
00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:00,911
Oh, wow, then we gotta
Forget about it, man.
61
00:03:00,979 --> 00:03:04,048
No, no, no, wait a minute, I
Hate to see you guys confined
62
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:07,118
To eatin' this meager
Fare for yet another day.
63
00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:09,066
Do you mean to say that
You would drive down
64
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,122
To the burgerzaar,
Where the burgers are,
65
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:13,291
To get a burger for us?
66
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,392
I'm gonna do better
Than that, arnold.
67
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:19,863
I'm gonna sell you my car.
68
00:03:19,932 --> 00:03:22,867
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
No need for hesitation here.
69
00:03:22,935 --> 00:03:25,236
Gentlemen, I am
Prepared to offer you
70
00:03:25,304 --> 00:03:26,971
A very, very sweet deal.
71
00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:28,883
Yeah, that sounds like what
Happened when my uncle louie
72
00:03:28,907 --> 00:03:30,207
Tried to sell us a car.
73
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,977
Yeah, which turned out
To be the worst experience
74
00:03:33,045 --> 00:03:34,678
Of all our lives.
75
00:03:34,746 --> 00:03:36,591
Hey, uh, murray,
Uh, pull up a burger,
76
00:03:36,615 --> 00:03:39,183
I think we'll take a listen
To this little story here.
77
00:03:39,251 --> 00:03:41,986
All right, it all started when
We all saved up enough money
78
00:03:42,054 --> 00:03:43,832
Where we thought we
Could buy a car, right?
79
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:46,137
So, my uncle louie said he
Could get us a good deal on it.
80
00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:49,726
So, we all call uncle louie
And he comes back to us...
81
00:03:49,795 --> 00:03:51,962
That makes it $150.
82
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:55,533
Hey, vinnie, don't forget
To add in my life savings.
83
00:03:55,602 --> 00:04:01,304
Oh, yeah, $150, plus 87 cents.
84
00:04:01,373 --> 00:04:06,143
Guys, we just bought
Ourselves a car.
85
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:10,948
Oh, our own car, I just can't
Wait until the local peasantry
86
00:04:11,016 --> 00:04:14,251
Gets a load of me
Behind the wheel.
87
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:19,089
Wait, arnold, slow
Down, arnold, slow down.
88
00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:22,125
Whiplash!
89
00:04:22,194 --> 00:04:25,062
Call my lawyer.
90
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:29,666
- I'm doin' all the drivin'.
- here.
91
00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:30,946
'cause it's my uncle
Louie, he gave us
92
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,436
A good deal on a car,
93
00:04:32,504 --> 00:04:34,283
And I put in most of
The money, 90 bucks,
94
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:36,673
And I got most of the experience
Behind the wheel anyway,
95
00:04:36,742 --> 00:04:38,542
So I get to do it all.
96
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:44,347
Yeah, but vinnie you spend
Most of your time in the backseat.
97
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:47,150
Well, that's behind
The wheel, ain't it?
98
00:04:47,219 --> 00:04:49,586
Yeah, well, I put in the
Next highest amount,
99
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,756
So, uh, I get to ride shotgun.
100
00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:54,458
Yeah, yeah, well, my 25 bucks
Bought me a window seat
101
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:55,893
In the back.
102
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,195
Hey, what do I get
For my 87 cents?
103
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,932
You get to ride up
Front, under the hood.
104
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:05,803
Yeah, you can use
Your nose for a dipstick.
105
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:09,773
Hey, uh, tell me now, uh,
When do we get the car?
106
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:10,919
All right, well, I
Told my uncle louie
107
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:12,754
That I'd give him the
Money this afternoon
108
00:05:12,778 --> 00:05:14,489
And he said he'd drop
The car by the hospital
109
00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:16,346
After school, so...
110
00:05:16,415 --> 00:05:20,050
Look out, nurses, here we come!
111
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:23,988
♪
112
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:34,732
♪ welcome back ♪
113
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:38,669
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
114
00:05:38,737 --> 00:05:40,804
♪ welcome back ♪
115
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:45,543
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
116
00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,711
♪ well the names
Have all changed
117
00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:49,880
Since you hung around ♪
118
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:52,015
♪ but those dreams have remained
119
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,218
And they've turned around ♪
120
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,420
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
121
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,400
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
122
00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:00,357
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
123
00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:02,460
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
124
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,628
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
125
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,830
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
126
00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:09,100
♪ welcome back ♪
127
00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:13,370
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
128
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:15,639
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
129
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,707
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
130
00:06:17,776 --> 00:06:19,944
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
131
00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:22,046
♪ welcome back ♪
132
00:06:22,114 --> 00:06:26,550
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
133
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:31,154
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
134
00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:39,697
Girls, you better
Go up to class, okay?
135
00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:41,376
Something has to be done
About all these students
136
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,634
In these hallways,
They're everywhere.
137
00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:51,708
Why can't we be like other
Schools and have more dropouts?
138
00:06:51,777 --> 00:06:54,411
Good morning, mr. Woodman.
139
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,380
Where is ms. Sherbeck?
140
00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,682
She called me to sub
For her again today.
141
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,050
And what is it this time?
142
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,219
I don't know, she said she
Has too many white cells
143
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:04,688
In her blood.
144
00:07:04,756 --> 00:07:06,596
I'm not quite sure
What it means.
145
00:07:06,658 --> 00:07:11,128
There's a white sale
At bloomingdale's,
146
00:07:11,196 --> 00:07:12,774
And there's a
White sale at macy's,
147
00:07:12,798 --> 00:07:14,732
And there's a white
Sale at gimbels,
148
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:15,933
And I could go on!
149
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,835
No, don't, I get the picture.
150
00:07:17,903 --> 00:07:19,970
Send gabe into my
Office, will you please?
151
00:07:20,038 --> 00:07:21,850
You know, these halls would
Not be nearly as crowded
152
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,974
If he got on the ball
And started expelling
153
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:26,677
Some of these students.
154
00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:29,345
Gabe isn't here, either.
155
00:07:29,414 --> 00:07:33,750
Oh, oh, you think maybe,
Uh, gabe and ms. Sherbeck
156
00:07:33,819 --> 00:07:36,419
Got a little something, uh...
157
00:07:36,488 --> 00:07:39,890
No, mr. Woodman, he's at that
School board seminar upstate.
158
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,259
Another seminar, I
Give him a promotion
159
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:44,862
And right away he's
A social butterfly.
160
00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:46,770
Mr. Woodman, when
You were vice principal
161
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,333
You went to those school
Board seminars all the time.
162
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,146
Yeah, and what
Did I get out of it?
163
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:53,971
Year after year, seeing
The same, dreary faces,
164
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,173
Hearing the same,
Boring lectures,
165
00:07:56,241 --> 00:08:00,443
Eating the same, stale
Finger sandwiches.
166
00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:04,948
God, how I miss them.
167
00:08:05,016 --> 00:08:07,817
Hey, what's happenin', woody?
168
00:08:07,886 --> 00:08:09,219
How you doin', mr. Woodman?
169
00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:12,423
Gangsters.
170
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:16,293
Mrs. Kotter, so,
Where's the mister?
171
00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:19,162
He's at a seminar, arnold,
He'll be back late tonight.
172
00:08:19,231 --> 00:08:21,498
Oh yeah, well we got
Some good news for him.
173
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:25,569
Perhaps we could, uh, drop
By your residence tonight.
174
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,104
Not "Drop by," vinnie.
175
00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:31,575
Yeah, yeah, it be
More like, cruise by.
176
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:34,745
Never exceeding the
Maximum speed limit, of course.
177
00:08:34,813 --> 00:08:36,524
What are you guys talking about?
178
00:08:36,548 --> 00:08:38,348
We got ourselves a car.
179
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,683
What?
180
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:42,953
Are you crazy,
That's grand theft.
181
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,533
Now, I don't know
Where you got this car,
182
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,034
But take it back and
Turn yourselves in
183
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:49,993
And maybe you'll get
Suspended sentences.
184
00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:53,230
Mr. Woodman, I
Am ashamed of you.
185
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:55,109
As long as you've
Known these boys
186
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:58,569
And you are ready to
Think of the worst of them.
187
00:08:58,637 --> 00:09:02,239
Come here, fellas, come on.
188
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,186
Now, I don't care
Where you got that car,
189
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,820
I want you to take it
Back, turn yourselves in
190
00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:08,912
And maybe you'll get
Suspended sentences.
191
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:11,615
Uh, come on, mrs. Kotter,
This ain't no hot car.
192
00:09:11,683 --> 00:09:13,350
Well, it is when we're in it.
193
00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:15,152
Yeah.
194
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,554
Look, mrs. Kotter, vinnie's
Uncle louie, he sold it
195
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:22,425
To us for 150
Bucks and 87 cents,
196
00:09:22,494 --> 00:09:24,294
Which should put us on the road
197
00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:28,098
To a car full of kissy face.
198
00:09:31,136 --> 00:09:32,335
Girls.
199
00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:35,305
That's right, girls,
Hubba, hubba, hubba.
200
00:09:35,373 --> 00:09:37,018
Before you get your
Engines all revved up,
201
00:09:37,042 --> 00:09:39,342
Let me remind you, no decent
Girl would be could dead
202
00:09:39,411 --> 00:09:41,278
With a sweathog.
203
00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:44,714
What does that make
Me, I married one?
204
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,750
You're different,
You're from nebraska.
205
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,019
You were brought up with hogs.
206
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,108
Hi, mrs. Kotter,
We came to see if
207
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,776
The tickets for the
Victory dance are in yet.
208
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,767
Oh, just a second, I'll check.
209
00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,769
Hold on to your hats,
Boys, tonight we make
210
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:08,238
The big touchdown in the sky.
211
00:10:08,306 --> 00:10:10,507
Oh yeah, we about to
Join the major leagues.
212
00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:12,120
Oh, come on, those
Girls are cheerleaders,
213
00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:13,543
They'd never go out with us.
214
00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,814
Oh yeah, well you watch
Old juan circumnavigate
215
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:18,916
This situation here.
216
00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:25,655
Morning, ladies.
217
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,368
Would you and your
Friends like to go out with me
218
00:10:27,392 --> 00:10:31,428
And my co-horses?
219
00:10:31,496 --> 00:10:35,165
Buzz off, buster.
220
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:43,774
You're up.
221
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:45,208
Check this out.
222
00:10:50,048 --> 00:10:52,716
Now, baby, uh, I think of
What being seen on the arm
223
00:10:52,784 --> 00:10:56,587
Of the star basketball
Player will do for your image.
224
00:10:56,655 --> 00:11:00,991
Yeah, it'll make me look short.
225
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:04,695
Yo mama's short.
226
00:11:04,763 --> 00:11:06,964
Ain't that the truth,
Ain't that the truth.
227
00:11:07,032 --> 00:11:08,098
Yeah, you can go.
228
00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:09,444
You guys don't know
How do do anything.
229
00:11:09,468 --> 00:11:11,279
You wanna see a
Pro get the job done?
230
00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:12,447
- yeah.
- alright.
231
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:15,339
Take notes if you like.
232
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:24,615
We got a car.
233
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:27,284
Pick us up at 7.
234
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,652
See.
235
00:11:29,721 --> 00:11:31,622
He's a genius.
236
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,937
I hate hospitals, we do we gotta
Pick our car up at a hospital?
237
00:11:48,006 --> 00:11:50,106
It's because vinnie
Works here and his uncle's
238
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:52,643
Gonna drop the car off here.
239
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:56,613
Gee, I wonder if this
Car comes fully equipped.
240
00:11:56,682 --> 00:12:00,651
Well, I know them
Cheerleaders showin' up did.
241
00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:05,655
Hey arnold, I got us a
Decoration for the car.
242
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:08,692
Oh no, little juan, a
Nice saint christopher
243
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,794
Belongs in the front.
244
00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:13,830
Let him bring his own dice.
245
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:17,301
Juan, you don't understand,
Those dice are illegal.
246
00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:19,803
Why, they ain't loaded.
247
00:12:19,871 --> 00:12:24,107
According to the new york
Drivers' manual, and I quote,
248
00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:28,245
"Nothing may be place
In or on a vehicle,
249
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:30,380
So that it obstructs
The driver's
250
00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:32,227
Clear view through
The windshield."
251
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,650
I'm sorry.
252
00:12:33,718 --> 00:12:38,121
Arnold, I gotta use the
Dice, I ain't got no baby shoes.
253
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:43,327
Yeah, his family's
Still usin' 'em.
254
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:48,198
They kept his shoes and
They bronzed his feet.
255
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,935
Okay, fine.
256
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:53,481
Well, I talked to my
Uncle louie's house
257
00:12:53,505 --> 00:12:55,884
And they said that uncle louie
Left, oh, about an hour ago,
258
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,551
So he should be here any minute.
259
00:12:57,575 --> 00:13:00,911
Hey, vinnie, since you're gonna
Be doing all of the driving,
260
00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:03,513
I would like to
Test you on the laws
261
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:06,616
That govern our local highways
262
00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:09,519
And our byways, okay?
263
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:15,024
Let's start with page 1,
Hand signals, all right.
264
00:13:15,093 --> 00:13:16,793
What does this mean?
265
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,795
Oh, I know what that
Means, that means,
266
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:22,799
That means your underarm
Deodorant ain't dry yet.
267
00:13:26,037 --> 00:13:28,972
- the cops!
- the cops!
268
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:34,811
What have you got here?
269
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,490
Automobile accident,
Corner of bay parkway
270
00:13:36,514 --> 00:13:37,580
And 86th street.
271
00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:41,318
No doubt from not using
The proper hand signals.
272
00:13:41,386 --> 00:13:44,554
Get this patient into
Exam room three, stat.
273
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:47,824
Barbarino, move that
Patient now, come on.
274
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:49,571
See that, when they
Need a real doctor,
275
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,461
They get barbarino.
276
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:53,275
Look at this poor guy, he
Probably didn't even know
277
00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:56,132
What hit him.
278
00:13:56,201 --> 00:14:01,305
Hey, this ain't no patient,
This is my uncle louie.
279
00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:07,311
Oh, how terrible,
Vinnie's uncle louie.
280
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:10,079
It's a sad day in brooklyn.
281
00:14:10,148 --> 00:14:15,752
Hey, man, that's bad news,
Boy, to be in a car accident.
282
00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:19,623
In our car!
283
00:14:24,162 --> 00:14:26,074
Hey, murray, give me
Another hamburger.
284
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:28,564
This is definitely a
Two-hamburger story
285
00:14:28,633 --> 00:14:30,400
If I ever heard one.
286
00:14:30,468 --> 00:14:33,103
He say this a meaty story.
287
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,238
Hey, uh, let me
Ask you somethin'.
288
00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:38,741
If your uncle wrecked
The car before you got it,
289
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,851
Why didn't you just
Get your money back?
290
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:44,147
I didn't know whether the car
Was wrecked before I bought it.
291
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,259
Look, the only thing I know
Was that it was the worst
292
00:14:45,283 --> 00:14:47,061
Thing that ever
Happened to us, right?
293
00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:48,351
Yeah.
294
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,875
This is the worst thing
That's ever happened to me.
295
00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:02,877
My favorite uncle louie,
My own flesh and blood,
296
00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:06,269
And he's lyin' in there
With multiple confusions.
297
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:09,584
Well, that sounds
Real bad, vinnie.
298
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:11,541
Uh, did he say where he was hit?
299
00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:13,576
In the arm.
300
00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:15,156
But was his arm
Inside or outside
301
00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:16,913
Of the car when it was hit?
302
00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:18,693
I don't know, I guess
It was the door.
303
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:20,917
They said it was
Broken in two places.
304
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:25,088
The door?
305
00:15:25,156 --> 00:15:26,423
No, his arm.
306
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:31,227
Oh, for a second there I
Thought I lost my window seat.
307
00:15:31,296 --> 00:15:36,900
Hey, vinnie, I don't wanna sound
Indelicate at a time like this,
308
00:15:36,968 --> 00:15:40,070
But did your uncle
Happen to mention
309
00:15:40,138 --> 00:15:43,039
The state and
Condition of the car.
310
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,041
Of course not, he
Was just in an accident,
311
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,342
Why would he do that?
312
00:15:46,411 --> 00:15:49,880
Vinnie, I want you to take
A wild guess now, buddy.
313
00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:51,326
What do you think
Your uncle was drivin' in
314
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:52,515
When he had the accident?
315
00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:55,652
He was deliverin' the
Car that we just bought.
316
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,187
He wrecked our car.
317
00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:04,894
He wrecked our
Car... Vinnie, wait, whoa.
318
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:06,174
Hey look, we don't know
If the car is wrecked.
319
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,865
All we know is that
Your uncle is wrecked.
320
00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:12,035
That's true, vinnie, there
Are a lot of accidents
321
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:15,271
In which a person is
Seriously injured and the car
322
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:17,874
Has but a scratch on it.
323
00:16:17,942 --> 00:16:23,479
Of course, those accidents
Usually involve a pedestrian.
324
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:26,283
Louie, louie, where's my louie?
325
00:16:26,351 --> 00:16:32,088
Louie, louie... Oh,
Vincenzio, vincenzio,
326
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,668
Where, where, where is my louie?
327
00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:36,359
What have they done
With my husband?
328
00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:38,628
You must be mrs. Barbarino.
329
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,798
What do you think,
I'm mama celeste?
330
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:47,637
Of course I'm mrs. Barbarino,
Where is my husband?
331
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,840
The doctors have just
Finished setting his arm.
332
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:51,808
Dio mio, setting the arm?
333
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:53,821
Wait here just a minute and
I'll check with the doctors
334
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,685
And see if the
Family's allowed in yet.
335
00:16:55,747 --> 00:17:00,350
I'm not family, I'm his wife!
336
00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:01,662
Aunt josephine,
Please don't worry,
337
00:17:01,686 --> 00:17:03,953
I'm sure uncle louie's
Gonna be just fine.
338
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:07,858
Oh, vincenzio, oh.
339
00:17:07,926 --> 00:17:13,663
Oh, you, you are
So nice to be here.
340
00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:16,933
In my hour of need,
You are a saint.
341
00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:22,772
You are a saint, I tell
You, you are a saint.
342
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:24,508
Don't, the guys are watchin'.
343
00:17:24,576 --> 00:17:27,778
Oh, how wonderful!
344
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:30,580
These are your little friends
345
00:17:30,648 --> 00:17:34,217
And they are so concerned
About your uncle louie.
346
00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:35,966
- I wanna meet them.
- alright.
347
00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:37,753
- this is horshack.
- hi.
348
00:17:37,822 --> 00:17:39,622
- and that is washington.
- hi, mama.
349
00:17:39,691 --> 00:17:41,591
- and he's epstein.
- hello.
350
00:17:41,659 --> 00:17:43,304
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and
His stupid uncle louie
351
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:45,928
Went and wrecked our car.
352
00:17:45,997 --> 00:17:48,097
Just hold on here.
353
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:50,333
Nice to meet ya.
354
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:51,779
Now look, don't worry,
Girls, you just show up,
355
00:17:51,803 --> 00:17:54,004
Here at the hospital, and
We'll take care of everything.
356
00:17:54,072 --> 00:17:57,607
Oh, so these are your
Wonderful friends, huh?
357
00:18:00,945 --> 00:18:02,678
Punks.
358
00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:05,748
How many times have I told
Ya not to hang around punks?
359
00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:09,051
You're gonna break your
Mother's heart, you know that?
360
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,892
Mrs. Barbarino, the doctor
Says you can visit your husband,
361
00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:18,929
Just for a minute,
He's in room 110.
362
00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:20,174
Wait, aunt josephine,
Before you go in there
363
00:18:20,198 --> 00:18:22,198
You gotta find out
Some things for us, okay?
364
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,733
Anything, anything.
365
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:26,670
You boys are so, so
Good to be so considerate
366
00:18:26,738 --> 00:18:28,938
About his uncle louie,
What do you wanna know?
367
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:31,241
- how bad was the car hit?
- will it still run?
368
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:34,377
If not, can the
Backseat be salvaged?
369
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,514
What did I tell you, punks.
370
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:40,650
Oh, della mia,
Where is my louie?
371
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:46,756
Come on seven.
372
00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:48,725
Come on seven.
373
00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:53,496
A five and three will do it.
374
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,900
Too bad, snake eyes, you
Lose, lady luck on my side.
375
00:18:57,969 --> 00:18:59,313
Hey, what are you guys
Doin', you know you shouldn't
376
00:18:59,337 --> 00:19:00,570
Be shootin' craps here.
377
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,639
Yeah, we should be
Shootin' your uncle louie.
378
00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:07,110
Vincenze, vincenze, how
Can my louie end up like this?
379
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:10,046
Oh no, he died of a broken arm?
380
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:11,881
No, he's gonna be fine.
381
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:14,350
It's what he's done
That is so horrible.
382
00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:16,886
I tell you it is
The will of god,
383
00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:19,055
The man is being punished.
384
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:22,558
Uncle louie did
Something to god?
385
00:19:22,627 --> 00:19:24,860
Worse than that, your
Uncle louie's in some
386
00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:27,964
Shady business deal, you see...
387
00:19:30,435 --> 00:19:33,770
Hey, none of you
Punks have homes?
388
00:19:33,838 --> 00:19:37,440
Hey, what do I look
Like, little orphan annie?
389
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,477
Well, now that you
Mention it, little juan.
390
00:19:40,545 --> 00:19:42,223
Back off, this
Here is family stuff.
391
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:43,524
All right, all right,
We're gonna back up,
392
00:19:43,548 --> 00:19:45,615
We're gonna back off,
But if my family ever starts
393
00:19:45,683 --> 00:19:50,052
Some shady business
Deal, see if I let you listen.
394
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,000
What'd uncle louie
Do that was so bad?
395
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,534
This never would've
Happened if he hadn't
396
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:55,124
Of bought that wreck.
397
00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:56,804
Oh no, the car is wrecked, huh?
398
00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:58,772
The car was a complete
Wreck when he bought it
399
00:19:58,796 --> 00:20:02,031
In the junkyard for $25.
400
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:06,169
$25?
401
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,938
Yeah, and he's gonna
Try to sell it for $150
402
00:20:09,007 --> 00:20:11,474
To some sucker.
403
00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:14,477
Four suckers.
404
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,113
But don't worry, I
Did the right thing.
405
00:20:17,182 --> 00:20:18,748
Yeah, broke his other arm.
406
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:21,183
No, no.
407
00:20:21,252 --> 00:20:24,153
I got his wallet right
Here with the $150
408
00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:25,555
I got this morning.
409
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:27,557
And I'm gonna take
It to the church
410
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:29,859
And put it in the poor box.
411
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:31,372
But you can' do
That, aunt josephine.
412
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:35,331
But vincenze, these things
Are best left in god's hands.
413
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,902
Yeah, but maybe god is busy.
414
00:20:38,970 --> 00:20:42,438
God is never too
Busy to take $150.
415
00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:44,117
Well, you don't understand
Something, aunt josephine.
416
00:20:44,141 --> 00:20:47,176
That money is mine, I'm
The sucker he sold it to.
417
00:20:47,245 --> 00:20:52,148
Ah, vinnie, vinnie, you
Have such a sweet mouth.
418
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,350
How could you say such
Lies about your uncle?
419
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,263
They ain't lies, aunt
Josephine, would I lie about
420
00:20:56,287 --> 00:20:57,787
My favorite uncle louie?
421
00:20:57,856 --> 00:21:00,991
The guy who, when I was a little
Kid, he took me to coney island.
422
00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:03,927
He made me play stickball
And bought my first mitt.
423
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,607
Who I lie about
My favorite uncle?
424
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:09,999
I'm tellin' ya, that rotten
Louse stole my $150.
425
00:21:10,067 --> 00:21:11,934
Just give me the
Money, no big deal.
426
00:21:12,003 --> 00:21:15,739
Vinnie, if this is your
Money, I want you to have it.
427
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:18,641
Not until your uncle
Looks me in the eye
428
00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:21,244
And tells me with his own lips.
429
00:21:21,312 --> 00:21:23,312
Okay, come on,
Let's go find out.
430
00:21:23,381 --> 00:21:25,415
Mrs. Barbarino, you
Might as well go home
431
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:28,518
And get some sleep, we've just
Given your husband a sedative.
432
00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:32,055
Aunt josephine, look, I'm
Sure uncle louie can't sleep
433
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,434
With all that stuff on his mind.
434
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:34,902
Why don't I go see if he's awake
435
00:21:34,926 --> 00:21:38,828
And you stay here and wait
For us to come back, okay?
436
00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:39,897
Come on.
437
00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:55,389
Okay, you guys know
What to do, right?
438
00:21:55,413 --> 00:21:57,224
Vinnie, I'm tellin' you, man,
This ain't gonna never work.
439
00:21:57,248 --> 00:21:58,693
She ain't gonna believe
This is uncle louie.
440
00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:00,883
Do you want your
Money back, then do it.
441
00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:05,355
Hey, for 87 cents
I'll try anything.
442
00:22:05,423 --> 00:22:07,523
Epstein, epstein, do
You know what to do?
443
00:22:07,592 --> 00:22:10,960
- it's all right.
- good, let's go.
444
00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:12,228
Aunt josephine?
445
00:22:12,296 --> 00:22:15,197
Oh, louie, louie, oh, my louie,
446
00:22:15,266 --> 00:22:18,200
My louie, oh, my louie.
447
00:22:18,269 --> 00:22:19,514
Aunt josephine, we
Gotta act quick now
448
00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:21,738
'cause he's under the
Influence of a sleeping pill
449
00:22:21,806 --> 00:22:26,976
And I gotta get him to
The in... Intensive restroom.
450
00:22:27,045 --> 00:22:29,546
Uncle louie, tell
Her that it's my money.
451
00:22:29,614 --> 00:22:31,114
Oh.
452
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,482
See, he said it was my money.
453
00:22:33,551 --> 00:22:36,552
Vinnie barbarino, what are
You doing with this patient?
454
00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:41,424
Hey nurse, look, you
Gotta help my friend!
455
00:22:41,492 --> 00:22:44,093
I think he's got appendicitis!
456
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:48,631
I can't believe it,
Not until my louie
457
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,500
Looks me in the eye and tells me
458
00:22:50,569 --> 00:22:52,635
That this is your money.
459
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:56,539
Tell her, uncle louie.
460
00:22:56,608 --> 00:22:58,240
I thought he had a broken arm?
461
00:22:58,309 --> 00:23:00,610
It spread.
462
00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:02,444
Go on, tell her
Whose money it is.
463
00:23:07,352 --> 00:23:08,885
Thank you, uncle louie.
464
00:23:08,953 --> 00:23:11,788
Hey, we can stop this now,
We got our money back.
465
00:23:11,857 --> 00:23:14,424
Oh, thank you, I
Feel so much better.
466
00:23:14,492 --> 00:23:18,694
You have wonderful hands.
467
00:23:18,763 --> 00:23:20,908
Hey, come on, you guys, we're
Gonna be late for the game.
468
00:23:20,932 --> 00:23:22,476
Oh, we ain't gonna be late,
Baby, 'cause we're ready
469
00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:26,302
To move any time.
470
00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:30,139
Oh, aunt josephine,
471
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:35,211
When you see uncle louie again,
He's gonna be a different man.
472
00:23:41,052 --> 00:23:42,295
So you see, it all turned
Out all right anyway
473
00:23:42,319 --> 00:23:43,597
'cause we still got
To keep the date
474
00:23:43,621 --> 00:23:46,288
With the cheerleaders.
475
00:23:46,357 --> 00:23:51,827
And may I say we also
Got our money back, too.
476
00:23:51,896 --> 00:23:55,865
And uncle louie
Turned out just fine,
477
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:58,200
For uncle louie.
478
00:23:58,269 --> 00:24:01,671
Well, gentlemen, uh, this
Lunch has proven to be a most,
479
00:24:01,739 --> 00:24:04,040
Most educational experience.
480
00:24:04,108 --> 00:24:08,211
Sure, never buy nothin'
From a barbarino.
481
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:13,950
No, never eat nothin'
From a burgerzaar.
482
00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:16,686
He say...
483
00:24:23,194 --> 00:24:26,662
♪
484
00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:33,236
♪ welcome back ♪
485
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:37,040
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
486
00:24:37,108 --> 00:24:39,241
♪ welcome back ♪
487
00:24:39,310 --> 00:24:43,979
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
488
00:24:44,049 --> 00:24:46,149
♪ well the names
Have all changed
489
00:24:46,217 --> 00:24:48,417
Since you hung around ♪
490
00:24:48,486 --> 00:24:50,552
♪ but those dreams have remained
491
00:24:50,621 --> 00:24:52,688
And they've turned around ♪
492
00:24:52,757 --> 00:24:54,891
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
493
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,671
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
494
00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:58,761
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
495
00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:00,896
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
496
00:25:00,965 --> 00:25:03,099
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
497
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:05,334
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
498
00:25:05,403 --> 00:25:07,503
♪ welcome back ♪
499
00:25:07,572 --> 00:25:11,807
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
500
00:25:11,876 --> 00:25:14,076
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
501
00:25:14,145 --> 00:25:16,212
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
502
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,448
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
503
00:25:18,516 --> 00:25:20,616
♪ 'cause we got
Him on the spot ♪
504
00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:22,785
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
505
00:25:22,853 --> 00:25:24,921
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
506
00:25:24,989 --> 00:25:27,089
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
507
00:25:27,158 --> 00:25:29,158
♪ welcome back ♪
508
00:25:29,227 --> 00:25:33,629
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
509
00:25:33,697 --> 00:25:35,998
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪♪
38609
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