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1
00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:04,480
Mr. Woodman, did I ever
Tell you about my uncle
2
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:07,538
That thought he
Was a steam radiator?
3
00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:09,907
Well, nobody's perfect.
4
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:13,011
No, my aunt took him to
See a psychiatrist anyway.
5
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:14,523
Now, what did she want
The psychiatrist to do,
6
00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:17,415
Convince him he
Wasn't a radiator?
7
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:21,019
No, just get him
To stop hissing.
8
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:24,722
After hearing that joke, I
Know how your uncle felt.
9
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:33,931
♪
10
00:00:37,803 --> 00:00:40,471
♪ welcome back ♪
11
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:44,175
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
12
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,544
♪ welcome back ♪
13
00:00:46,612 --> 00:00:51,349
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
14
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,451
♪ well the names
Have all changed
15
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,619
Since you hung around ♪
16
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:57,821
♪ but those dreams have remained
17
00:00:57,890 --> 00:00:59,857
And they've turned around ♪
18
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:02,126
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
19
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,939
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
20
00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:06,064
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
21
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:08,132
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
22
00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,234
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
23
00:01:10,303 --> 00:01:12,470
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
24
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,638
♪ welcome back ♪
25
00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:18,809
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
26
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,928
All right, you young loudies,
27
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:41,332
Take your seats and clam up.
28
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:45,269
Uh, mr. Horshack,
Who put you in charge?
29
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:50,774
It just so happens, that
During mr. Kotter's absenteeism,
30
00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:55,746
I have jun-iority.
31
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:57,593
Yeah, well where is kotter
Anyway, he's gonna miss
32
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,882
My big surprise.
33
00:01:58,951 --> 00:02:01,130
I don't know, you know
What, maybe he took his kids
34
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,087
To the baby doctor.
35
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:06,257
That's stupid, babies
Can't be doctors.
36
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,106
What would they put
On the prescription?
37
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,629
"Goo-goo?"
38
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:26,944
Good morning.
39
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:29,313
Good afternoon.
40
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,449
Look, I'm sorry I'm late.
41
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:34,118
You're sorry your late?
42
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:37,522
You're sorry for depriving
These eager, young minds
43
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:40,658
Of their much needed education?
44
00:02:40,726 --> 00:02:44,962
You are sorry?
45
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:46,842
Horshack, you
Wanna be a teacher,
46
00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:48,744
You gotta wear a tie,
You gotta keep tums
47
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:51,469
In your pocket at all
Times, and you gotta practice
48
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:57,375
Being ignored, take a seat.
49
00:02:57,443 --> 00:02:58,676
Did you hear me?
50
00:02:58,744 --> 00:03:00,811
No, I'm ignoring you.
51
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:07,218
You take a seat!
52
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:08,930
The reason I'm late,
Guys, is because I went
53
00:03:08,954 --> 00:03:10,188
To see apartments again.
54
00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:12,734
Apartment hunting all
Week, can't find anything.
55
00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:17,395
Well, say no more,
Juan epstein is here.
56
00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:19,497
You say you're lookin'
For an apartment?
57
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,399
You say you can't find one?
58
00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,078
You say you looked
In brooklyn, queens,
59
00:03:23,102 --> 00:03:24,535
And parts of staten island?
60
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:27,871
Let me tell you
What I'm gonna do.
61
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:31,342
What are you gonna
Do, sell me a veg-o-matic?
62
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:34,212
Close, but no cigar.
63
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,991
I have, here in my
Hand, the answer
64
00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:37,648
To all your problems.
65
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:43,221
It's a lease to a two-bedroom
Apartment, at 1962 linden blvd.
66
00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:46,535
What's the matter, epstein,
Your mother stopped
67
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:50,595
Writing notes and
Started writing leases.
68
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:53,931
No, my uncle did.
69
00:03:53,999 --> 00:03:55,959
Wait a second,
This is a real lease.
70
00:03:56,001 --> 00:03:58,902
Of course it's a real
Lease, I got connections.
71
00:03:58,971 --> 00:04:01,672
My uncle, he runs
A chain of slums.
72
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:08,512
Yeah, but linden blvd is a
Very nice neighborhood.
73
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,115
Yeah, well, you know the
Way uncle mo figured it out,
74
00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:12,850
He had to branch out.
75
00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:15,686
Why just steal from the poor
76
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,989
When you can rip off everybody?
77
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:20,769
Epstein, I don't know if
This is a put-on or not,
78
00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:23,261
But at this point,
I'll grab at anything.
79
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:26,564
Now, what are you
Grabbing at now, kotter?
80
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,467
Epstein may or may not
Have found me an apartment.
81
00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:32,637
Well, it's my uncle
Mo's building.
82
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:35,205
Why would you wanna
Move to puerto rico?
83
00:04:40,012 --> 00:04:42,012
That's the wrong
Side of the family.
84
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,214
My uncle mo, he runs
A slick operation.
85
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,216
He's teachin' me the ropes.
86
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,518
Ropes?
87
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:51,855
What's the matter, the
Building has no elevators?
88
00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:53,769
Look, kid around if
You will, mr. Woodman,
89
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,260
But this looks legitimate.
90
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:57,339
When can I see it, juan?
91
00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:58,996
Anytime you want.
92
00:04:59,064 --> 00:05:02,166
Better make it fast,
Before it gets condemned.
93
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:08,972
There is only one thing that
Can make a man that crabby,
94
00:05:09,041 --> 00:05:13,377
He buys his underwear too small.
95
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,424
Hey, you guys would be
Weird, too, if you were raised
96
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,548
By lizards.
97
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:24,455
Was he really?
98
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,357
Joke, barbarino, joke.
99
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,992
Oh, joke, a joke.
100
00:05:29,061 --> 00:05:30,172
Julie, this has all
Gone so smoothly,
101
00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:31,629
It's makin' me nervous.
102
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:36,367
Honey, relax, we saw the
New apartment, it's wonderful.
103
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,068
Okay, truck's loaded up.
104
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,438
The only thing left
To go is the babies.
105
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:43,641
Arnold, could you
Get us a carton?
106
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,688
Wait a minute, wait a
Minute now, don't be stupid.
107
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:50,180
You don't pack babies
In cartons, epstein.
108
00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:54,151
You strap 'em to the
Roof of the truck.
109
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:58,456
Yeah, otherwise they
Might get chipped.
110
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:02,526
Uh, okay, santini brothers,
Listen, you handle the hardware,
111
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:06,930
We'll take care
Of the livestock.
112
00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:10,033
Hey, mrs. Kotter, I think, I
Think your refrigerator's sick,
113
00:06:10,102 --> 00:06:12,970
It looks all hot and sweaty.
114
00:06:13,038 --> 00:06:14,350
Yeah, well that's what
Generally happens
115
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,951
When you pull the plug out.
116
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:16,985
What are you gonna
Do with this root beer?
117
00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:19,009
You're gonna
Leave it here to die?
118
00:06:21,113 --> 00:06:23,714
Well, old pal, I know that
Over the years, you know,
119
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:27,284
I took more than I gave,
120
00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:29,197
But you tempted
Me, you know that?
121
00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:31,181
You tempted me
With your liverwurst,
122
00:06:31,223 --> 00:06:34,759
And your danish,
And your anchovies,
123
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:38,896
So stay... Stay full and
Keep a cool upper chest.
124
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:45,369
That was very touching,
Vinnie, very touching.
125
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:50,741
Now, we would like a
Moment alone with the stove.
126
00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,254
Yeah, I mean you guys
Aren't the only ones
127
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:56,046
That have to confront
A beloved appliance.
128
00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:57,415
Arnold, would you take this?
129
00:06:57,483 --> 00:07:00,150
You know, mr. Kotter, I'm
Kind of glad you're moving
130
00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:02,386
Because we're all
Too old to be climbing
131
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,656
In and out of windows.
132
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,235
- see you in a while.
- bye.
133
00:07:07,259 --> 00:07:09,170
Hey, guys, hey, y'all,
Come here for a second.
134
00:07:09,194 --> 00:07:14,799
Guys, hey, um,
135
00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:18,368
One more time
For old time's sake.
136
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,338
Mmm-hmm.
137
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:41,659
Well, honey, take a
Good look around.
138
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:44,161
Goodbye to our first apartment.
139
00:07:44,229 --> 00:07:45,930
Yeah.
140
00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:48,298
Hey, julie, what do you
Say we leave the way
141
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:50,000
We first came in?
142
00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:53,704
You mean in debt and unemployed?
143
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:55,272
I mean like this.
144
00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:58,208
Oh, honey, you're so romantic.
145
00:07:58,277 --> 00:08:00,911
I know.
146
00:08:06,418 --> 00:08:08,385
Gabe, how could you?
147
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:10,354
How could you forget?
148
00:08:10,422 --> 00:08:11,789
Well, you forgot, too.
149
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,924
You forgot first.
150
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,125
No, you did.
151
00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:20,097
No, you did, how could
You forget the babies?
152
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:24,780
All right, I'll take
The express aisle.
153
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:27,270
- I got one baby or less.
- okay.
154
00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:31,208
♪
155
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:41,018
Oh, oh, honey, it's even
Nicer than I remember it.
156
00:08:41,086 --> 00:08:43,420
Yes, and I love the
Way it's decorated,
157
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:45,422
Early sweathog.
158
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:46,668
It's gonna be great
To have enough room
159
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,358
For all four of us, honey.
160
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,372
I think we should've kept
Our old apartment though,
161
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,462
You know, use it
As a summer home.
162
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,365
Come on, let's show the
Girls to their nursery.
163
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:58,368
Hey, rachie baby, you
Wanna see your new digs?
164
00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:01,438
Come on, you wanna
Help us unpack?
165
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:02,985
- come on.
- let's go.
166
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:05,809
I think robin wants
The crib by the phone.
167
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,478
Oh, yeah, well, I'm sick
Of robin's demands.
168
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:17,621
All right, stroke,
Stroke, stroke, stroke.
169
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:21,659
Come on horshack, put
Some muscle into this couch.
170
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:25,495
Why, it's already
Stronger than I am?
171
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:29,800
All right, then let's
Let biceps be biceps.
172
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:32,536
I'd like to congratulate
Everybody on a job well done.
173
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:35,573
All furniture presently
Accounted for, sir.
174
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,942
Anyway, except for that
Runaway bookcase that hit
175
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:41,011
That bump on ocean parkway.
176
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,081
You know what I think, I think
That we moved the furniture
177
00:09:44,149 --> 00:09:48,886
And we worked very
Hard, I think it's miller time.
178
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:56,359
Well, we got the time,
Who's got the beer?
179
00:09:56,428 --> 00:09:59,964
Would you settle for root beer?
180
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,710
Requesting
Permission to sit, sir.
181
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:05,069
Uh-huh, all right,
Everybody, just ease up.
182
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:14,778
Oh, boy.
183
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:17,648
Listen, you guys
Worked hard all day,
184
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,784
I guess it's miller time.
185
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:26,123
I just did that joke.
186
00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:27,257
Oh.
187
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:29,204
Hey, mr. Kotter, I gotta
Hurry up downstairs
188
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,595
And get the driver,
He wants to get paid.
189
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:32,896
What's his hurry?
190
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:36,533
Well, he's parked in
A no-furniture zone.
191
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:38,736
Money, money, money,
Everybody wants money.
192
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,071
Hey, guys, I gotta
Congratulate you.
193
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,272
You didn't break a thing.
194
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,352
Well, I mean, like, uh,
What did you expect?
195
00:10:44,376 --> 00:10:48,211
We left all the broken
Stuff on the truck.
196
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,058
Vinnie, there's someone
Here I want you to meet.
197
00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:51,281
Oh, yeah, who?
198
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,051
Over here, her name is shirley.
199
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,388
Oh, hello, shirley,
Boy, are you alone?
200
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:04,695
Yes, well, that's good,
'cause you got a nice face,
201
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,333
But you're empty inside.
202
00:11:10,402 --> 00:11:13,270
Well, vinnie, give her a
Chance to get turned on.
203
00:11:17,643 --> 00:11:19,710
Well, rachel loves
The new nursery.
204
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:21,111
Oh, that's terrific.
205
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,380
But robin's complaining
About the wallpaper.
206
00:11:23,448 --> 00:11:27,484
She says it clashes
With her diapers.
207
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:31,621
I didn't when we put them on.
208
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:36,626
I got the driver, this way, mac.
209
00:11:39,531 --> 00:11:41,242
All right, kotter,
How you wanna pay me?
210
00:11:41,266 --> 00:11:43,200
By mile or by the hour?
211
00:11:43,268 --> 00:11:45,468
Well, which is cheaper?
212
00:11:45,537 --> 00:11:47,738
Well, for anybody else
It would be forty bucks.
213
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:50,473
For you, it's on the house.
214
00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:52,420
Thank you, mr. Woodman,
That's nice of you.
215
00:11:52,444 --> 00:11:57,948
Listen, it's a hard trip,
Got stopped by a cop,
216
00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:01,651
I sold an end table and a lamp.
217
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,354
I need those for my living room!
218
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:08,926
That's what the cop said.
219
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,872
I could really use
That forty bucks.
220
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,597
The price of poligrip
Goes up every day.
221
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,368
Uh, you low-lifes want
A ride back with me?
222
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:21,839
Yeah, yeah, let's go,
Osteo lumbago, baby.
223
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,774
Via con dios.
224
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,976
Chili con carne.
225
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:33,984
I'll get it.
226
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:37,320
Phones you get,
Babies you take care of.
227
00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:42,459
I'll be right back.
228
00:12:42,527 --> 00:12:45,428
Well, I don't wanna be one
To squeeze my own accordion,
229
00:12:45,497 --> 00:12:49,032
But did I do good
Or did I do good?
230
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,269
Well, juan, given those
Choices, you did good.
231
00:12:52,337 --> 00:12:55,639
Yeah, well, you got a real
Sweet deal here, mr. Kotter.
232
00:12:55,707 --> 00:12:57,452
I just hope you
Remember it the next time
233
00:12:57,476 --> 00:13:00,410
You grade my tests,
You know what I mean?
234
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:04,748
You see, a "D" can
Become a "B" very easily.
235
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:06,427
All you gotta do is just
Put a line right down
236
00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:08,152
The middle of it.
237
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,530
What do you need
Me for, you been doin'
238
00:13:09,554 --> 00:13:11,889
That yourself for two years?
239
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,534
Yeah, but if you
Get caught doin' it,
240
00:13:13,558 --> 00:13:15,959
I don't get in any trouble.
241
00:13:17,562 --> 00:13:19,474
I'll get it, maybe it's
The old refrigerator
242
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:24,701
Looking for vinnie.
243
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,336
Come in.
244
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:28,272
I'm mo epstein, your landlord.
245
00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:30,451
Well, well, well, what
Do you know, uncle mo?
246
00:13:30,475 --> 00:13:32,453
Epstein the young
Guy, how ya doin'?
247
00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:34,656
Mr. Epstein, nice to meet
Ya, listen, I can't tell you
248
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,057
How much I appreciate
This apartment.
249
00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:37,647
Nah, don't mention it.
250
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,184
Juan, here, told
Me all about you.
251
00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:44,888
You're the famous mr. Kotter.
252
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:48,658
A man who molds young minds.
253
00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:51,061
Once in a while, of
Course, a mind is moldy
254
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:53,831
Before it gets to you...
255
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:55,710
But such is the
Life of a teacher.
256
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:58,035
So, I hear you have
A beautiful wife.
257
00:13:58,103 --> 00:14:01,071
Yeah, well, I'm a lucky man.
258
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,740
Ah.
259
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:05,608
Hi.
260
00:14:05,677 --> 00:14:07,444
What is that?
261
00:14:07,512 --> 00:14:09,246
That's my beautiful wife.
262
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:12,582
No, no, no, I mean the thing
At the end of her arm there.
263
00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:15,552
That's her beautiful hand.
264
00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,332
I mean the thing in the blanket.
265
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:21,691
- this is robin.
- juan, they have a baby.
266
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,828
Oh.
267
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:26,696
Actually, we have twins.
268
00:14:26,765 --> 00:14:28,665
Juan, they have two babies.
269
00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:31,668
Oh, oh.
270
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,448
What's "Oh, oh,"
What's the matter?
271
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:34,404
Yeah, "What's the
Matter," tell him.
272
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,084
Tell him what's the matter.
273
00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:37,674
Uh, uncle mo, uncle mo,
274
00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:39,387
These people, here,
They were desperate.
275
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:40,989
Well, you know
What my rules are.
276
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:45,048
No babies allowed!
277
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,850
They make noise.
278
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,485
They get sick.
279
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:51,255
They spit up.
280
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,335
Uncle mo, these people,
Here, they need an apartment.
281
00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:54,736
Yeah, well, they're
Gonna need a lawyer now
282
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,171
And you, you're gonna
Need a new future.
283
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:59,829
You're too soft-hearted to
Be in the apartment business.
284
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:04,501
Nice meetin' ya.
285
00:15:04,569 --> 00:15:09,306
I was just tryin'
To help, folks.
286
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:12,109
Juan, you wanna help, you better
Stop woodman and the truck.
287
00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:15,045
We might have to
Live in it for a while.
288
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:18,115
♪
289
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:29,993
Here's one, "Large
Indoor-outdoor suite.
290
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:33,297
Fenced-in yard, wooded area."
291
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:37,134
And it's only $100 a
Month, mr. Kotter...
292
00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:43,040
Let me see that, $100 a month?
293
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,208
Arnold, this is an
Ad for a kennel.
294
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:51,815
Maybe they'll make an exception.
295
00:15:51,883 --> 00:15:55,752
Look at that, looky, check it
Out, look at this, look at this.
296
00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:58,989
"Four rooms, over bowling
Alley, under pool hall,
297
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,091
Next to a disco.
298
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,660
If no answer, knock louder."
299
00:16:03,728 --> 00:16:05,106
That's nice, freddie,
But we were hopin'
300
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,564
For somethin' a little
Noisier, like an apartment
301
00:16:07,632 --> 00:16:10,600
On an airport
Runway or somethin'.
302
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,768
Wait a minute, what's this?
303
00:16:12,837 --> 00:16:17,006
"Unfurn appt, live room,
304
00:16:17,075 --> 00:16:21,844
Effic kitch, st shw."
305
00:16:21,913 --> 00:16:24,880
You know, the guy who wrote
This spells worse than me.
306
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,020
Vinnie, these are abbreviations.
307
00:16:31,089 --> 00:16:34,657
It means unfurnished
Apartment, living room,
308
00:16:34,726 --> 00:16:37,793
It's an efficiency
Kitchen, stall shower.
309
00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:40,563
250 a month, not bad.
310
00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:44,200
It's also my old apartment.
311
00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:47,903
Mr. Kotter, I do not understand
Why you are giving up so easily.
312
00:16:47,972 --> 00:16:50,906
Hey, you know, mr. Kotter,
Um, arnold's right.
313
00:16:50,975 --> 00:16:55,911
I mean, epstein's uncle, he
Don't got a leg to stand on.
314
00:16:55,980 --> 00:16:58,214
Look, you know, juan's
In enough trouble as is.
315
00:16:58,283 --> 00:16:59,360
I mean he feels so
Bad, he didn't even
316
00:16:59,384 --> 00:17:00,983
Come to school today.
317
00:17:01,052 --> 00:17:02,730
I'll just stay with my
Brother for a couple of weeks
318
00:17:02,754 --> 00:17:04,420
Until I can find something.
319
00:17:04,489 --> 00:17:06,689
Hello, kotter, what's
This I hear about you
320
00:17:06,758 --> 00:17:08,669
Moving out of your
New apartment?
321
00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:10,693
Yeah, unfortunately it's true.
322
00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:12,802
Didn't take your
Neighbors long to get up
323
00:17:12,864 --> 00:17:15,398
A petition, did it?
324
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:19,835
Get it, kotter, petition?
325
00:17:19,904 --> 00:17:23,473
I'm too much, you
Know that, I'm too much.
326
00:17:27,011 --> 00:17:31,614
Take your medicine, mr. Woodman!
327
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:36,452
Maybe he was raised by lizards.
328
00:17:36,521 --> 00:17:38,721
Well, one thing
About leaving so fast,
329
00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:41,724
I didn't have time to
Get used to the place.
330
00:17:41,793 --> 00:17:43,504
I'm really sorry, mrs.
Kotter, I didn't mean
331
00:17:43,528 --> 00:17:44,905
To mess it up, you know?
332
00:17:44,929 --> 00:17:47,430
Oh, it's okay, juan, we can
Find another apartment.
333
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:49,577
I don't know if you're
Gonna find another uncle.
334
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:51,801
Oh, yeah, uncle mo's
Really bummed out at me
335
00:17:51,869 --> 00:17:53,303
And he gave me the can.
336
00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:56,072
Hey, look, I just had these
Cards ordered for myself.
337
00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:57,473
Look at this, here.
338
00:17:57,542 --> 00:18:01,544
"Juan epstein, consultant,
Real estate rentals and sales,
339
00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:04,681
Ears pierced while you wait.
340
00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:09,219
Special rate for groups."
341
00:18:09,287 --> 00:18:11,821
- hi, julie.
- hi, honey.
342
00:18:11,889 --> 00:18:15,391
- hi, juan.
- hi, honey.
343
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:17,471
I got a message for
You from mr. Woodman.
344
00:18:17,495 --> 00:18:19,795
"Show up in school
Tomorrow, or else."
345
00:18:19,864 --> 00:18:21,931
I got a lot of thinkin'
To do, mr. Kotter.
346
00:18:21,999 --> 00:18:25,768
I really can't do
That in school.
347
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,450
Listen, juan, I know
You got problems,
348
00:18:29,474 --> 00:18:31,608
But that's no
Reason to cut class.
349
00:18:31,676 --> 00:18:34,810
Gabe, he was not cutting class.
350
00:18:34,879 --> 00:18:38,615
I was tutoring him in
Moving and storage.
351
00:18:38,683 --> 00:18:39,949
An accomplice.
352
00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:42,963
Juan, I think we should
Find your family tree
353
00:18:42,987 --> 00:18:45,020
And chop it down.
354
00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:49,792
Oh, look who it is, uncle shmo.
355
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,911
If you're tryin' to make
Me feel bad, don't bother.
356
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:55,776
Better men than you
Have tried and failed.
357
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,601
Gabe, why don't you
Invite mr. Epstein in?
358
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:01,804
The babies have
Already had their shots.
359
00:19:01,873 --> 00:19:04,173
Very funny, but this
Is not a social call.
360
00:19:04,242 --> 00:19:05,919
Oh, that's too bad, we were
About to offer you some
361
00:19:05,943 --> 00:19:08,645
Flat beer and stale pizza.
362
00:19:08,713 --> 00:19:11,180
Well, I came up
To offer you this.
363
00:19:11,249 --> 00:19:13,227
Don't bother reading
It, I will summarize
364
00:19:13,251 --> 00:19:15,062
All forty pages in five words.
365
00:19:15,086 --> 00:19:17,253
Get out in thirty days.
366
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:20,590
That's not soon enough,
We'll be out tomorrow morning.
367
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,825
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
368
00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:24,894
You mean you're
Not gonna fight me?
369
00:19:24,962 --> 00:19:26,529
What?
370
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:27,764
You want us to fight you?
371
00:19:27,832 --> 00:19:29,666
Sure, sure, of course.
372
00:19:29,734 --> 00:19:33,436
I sue you, you sue me,
Court battles, lawyers.
373
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,372
Look, some people
Golf, some people bowl,
374
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:40,476
I fight with my
Tenants, that's my fun.
375
00:19:40,545 --> 00:19:43,713
What would life be without
A little litigation, you know?
376
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:48,951
You are not only a mean
Man, you are a sick man.
377
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:51,621
And you people are crazy,
Don't you understand?
378
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,601
If you hang in for
Long enough, you'll win.
379
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,025
I don't have a leg to
Stand on, it'll be fun.
380
00:19:56,093 --> 00:19:58,138
Uncle mo, uncle mo,
They ain't gonna fight you
381
00:19:58,162 --> 00:20:00,408
'cause you're my uncle
And they don't wanna get me
382
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:02,209
In any more trouble
Than what I am.
383
00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:04,233
Forget that I'm his
Uncle, forget that.
384
00:20:04,302 --> 00:20:09,038
Think of me as a mad
Dog, as a beast, huh?
385
00:20:09,106 --> 00:20:12,074
Look, look, kotter,
Picture this, huh?
386
00:20:12,143 --> 00:20:15,411
A courtroom, on one
Side a hated slumlord.
387
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,680
A man who started
With a single tenant
388
00:20:17,749 --> 00:20:21,818
And built it into
A thriving ghetto.
389
00:20:21,886 --> 00:20:24,253
I see, I see, I see, the one
With the foam at the mouth.
390
00:20:24,322 --> 00:20:26,922
- that's you, right?
- right, that's me, right?
391
00:20:26,991 --> 00:20:29,359
Okay, now at the
Other side, right?
392
00:20:29,427 --> 00:20:31,627
A dedicated teacher,
A beautiful wife,
393
00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:33,776
Sitting with their
Twins, can you see them?
394
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:38,267
Yeah, I can see it, rachel's
Cooing for the jury.
395
00:20:38,336 --> 00:20:41,070
- and robin wants a mistrial.
- yeah, right.
396
00:20:41,138 --> 00:20:42,650
And look, look,
Look at the jury.
397
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:45,040
You've won their
Hearts, they hate me.
398
00:20:45,109 --> 00:20:46,920
They're climbing
Out of the jury box
399
00:20:46,944 --> 00:20:48,723
To tear out the rest of my hair.
400
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,224
We don't have to go
To court for that,
401
00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:53,082
I'll rip out the
Rest of your hair!
402
00:20:53,150 --> 00:20:55,685
That's a contender, huh,
Now what about you, come on?
403
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,732
What about me, you
Wanna know about me?
404
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,122
You wanna fight, all
Right, all right, all right.
405
00:21:00,191 --> 00:21:02,536
You got one, okay, we're not
Moving out of this apartment
406
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,694
And we're not even
Goin' to court to prove it!
407
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,128
A staggering blow, okay,
408
00:21:06,197 --> 00:21:07,541
We don't go to court.
Keep punching, come on.
409
00:21:07,565 --> 00:21:09,932
You want more, you
Want more, all right.
410
00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:12,468
I want juan to get his
Job back and I want you
411
00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:14,314
To give him a regular
Salary, how 'bout that?
412
00:21:14,338 --> 00:21:16,216
Oh, beautiful, kotter,
You got me on the ropes.
413
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,442
I'm dazed, okay, give me,
Give me the knockout punch.
414
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:23,078
All right, here it
Comes, you ready?
415
00:21:23,147 --> 00:21:24,725
You're gonna let
People with babies
416
00:21:24,749 --> 00:21:29,285
In all your apartments.
417
00:21:29,353 --> 00:21:31,987
You had me where you wanted
Me, but you went too far.
418
00:21:32,056 --> 00:21:35,925
No, you guys with principals,
You never know when to stop.
419
00:21:35,993 --> 00:21:40,663
All right, all right,
Stay if you want.
420
00:21:40,732 --> 00:21:43,666
At least now you're fighters.
421
00:21:43,735 --> 00:21:46,636
But one spit-up on
The floor, and it'll...
422
00:21:46,704 --> 00:21:48,938
Straight to the supreme court.
423
00:21:49,006 --> 00:21:50,551
Uncle mo, now, does
That mean I can show up
424
00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:51,786
At your office in the mornin'?
425
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:52,953
Yeah, yeah, come
By, I'll teach you how
426
00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:55,077
To addict the bed-ridden.
427
00:21:58,115 --> 00:22:02,284
Nice seein' ya again.
428
00:22:02,353 --> 00:22:04,353
There it is, there
It is, there it is,
429
00:22:04,388 --> 00:22:06,322
I'm back in business.
430
00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:10,593
Honey, I have never
Seen you that mad.
431
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:13,796
That was very exciting.
432
00:22:21,806 --> 00:22:25,875
Don't you have something to do?
433
00:22:25,944 --> 00:22:30,012
Yeah, I gotta go over the rules
And regulations of the building.
434
00:22:30,081 --> 00:22:33,048
All right, now, first of
All, here's the situation,
435
00:22:33,117 --> 00:22:35,852
Things have to be quiet
Around here around 10:00.
436
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,765
I don't want anybody
Just blastin' their stereo,
437
00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:40,155
You know, we got a lot
Of old folks underneath,
438
00:22:40,224 --> 00:22:42,424
Yeah, and they're just
Gonna complain a lot.
439
00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:44,927
Uh, the rent is due on
The 15th of the month,
440
00:22:44,996 --> 00:22:48,097
Not the 16th, but is due
On the 15th of the month.
441
00:22:48,165 --> 00:22:50,245
Uh, the garbage is
Picked up on tuesdays.
442
00:22:50,301 --> 00:22:52,902
You just, just pick
Up the garbage.
443
00:22:52,971 --> 00:22:55,015
You pick up the garbage
And you move it to the door.
444
00:22:55,039 --> 00:23:00,042
Very easily, you open the
Door, and you take the garbage...
445
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:07,149
♪
446
00:23:13,357 --> 00:23:15,603
Just think of it, julie,
This place is really ours.
447
00:23:15,627 --> 00:23:20,396
Hey, did I ever tell you
About my uncle elsworth?
448
00:23:20,464 --> 00:23:23,432
New apartment, but
Some things never change.
449
00:23:23,501 --> 00:23:24,812
Well, listen to
This, uncle elsworth
450
00:23:24,836 --> 00:23:27,336
Was a real fancy guy,
Liked to travel all the time,
451
00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:28,604
Lived in st. Louis, right?
452
00:23:28,673 --> 00:23:30,283
So, one time he's taking
A train from st. Louis
453
00:23:30,307 --> 00:23:32,408
To kansas city,
Sits in a dining car
454
00:23:32,476 --> 00:23:35,678
And a cannibal sits
Down next to him.
455
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:37,747
- a cannibal?
- yes, a cannibal.
456
00:23:37,815 --> 00:23:39,192
- a cannibal.
- cannibal.
457
00:23:39,216 --> 00:23:42,518
And the waiter comes over
And says to the cannibal...
458
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:43,998
- the cannibal?
- yes.
459
00:23:44,022 --> 00:23:46,255
He said, "Would you
Like to see a menu, sir."
460
00:23:46,323 --> 00:23:51,126
And the cannibal says,
"No, just the passenger list."
461
00:23:51,195 --> 00:23:55,064
♪
462
00:23:58,369 --> 00:24:02,237
♪
463
00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:08,410
♪ welcome back ♪
464
00:24:08,479 --> 00:24:12,181
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
465
00:24:12,249 --> 00:24:14,483
♪ welcome back ♪
466
00:24:14,552 --> 00:24:19,388
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
467
00:24:19,457 --> 00:24:21,390
♪ well the names
Have all changed
468
00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:23,492
Since you hung around ♪
469
00:24:23,561 --> 00:24:25,728
♪ but those dreams have remained
470
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:27,830
And they've turned around ♪
471
00:24:27,899 --> 00:24:30,066
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
472
00:24:30,134 --> 00:24:31,845
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
473
00:24:31,869 --> 00:24:33,936
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
474
00:24:34,005 --> 00:24:36,105
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
475
00:24:36,173 --> 00:24:38,240
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
476
00:24:38,309 --> 00:24:40,442
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
477
00:24:40,511 --> 00:24:42,612
♪ welcome back ♪
478
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:47,016
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
479
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,184
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
480
00:24:49,253 --> 00:24:51,954
♪ welcome back ♪
481
00:24:52,023 --> 00:24:55,758
♪ we always could
Spot a friend ♪
482
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:58,127
♪ welcome back ♪
483
00:24:58,195 --> 00:25:00,096
♪ and I smile when I think
484
00:25:00,164 --> 00:25:02,932
How you must've been ♪
485
00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:04,934
♪ and I know what a scene
486
00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,169
You were learnin' in ♪
487
00:25:07,238 --> 00:25:09,404
♪ was there
Something that made you
488
00:25:09,473 --> 00:25:10,572
Come back again ♪♪
36775
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