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On the last episode of
"Welcome back, kotter"
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00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,704
Okay, your contractions
Start, you time them.
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00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:08,383
When they're four
Minutes apart you call me.
4
00:00:08,407 --> 00:00:09,507
Uh-huh.
5
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:14,512
If your water breaks,
Don't touch the toaster.
6
00:00:17,049 --> 00:00:18,783
Heya, vinnie, vinnie, vinnie!
7
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,963
Now, come on, you don't wanna
Be late on the first day of school
8
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:22,019
Now do you?
9
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:27,091
I can't go in there,
I got left back.
10
00:00:27,159 --> 00:00:30,361
Vinnie, vinnie, that's not
Why I'm going to the hospital!
11
00:00:30,429 --> 00:00:32,263
Why not?
12
00:00:32,331 --> 00:00:37,368
Haven't you noticed that I've...
Put on a little weight lately?
13
00:00:37,436 --> 00:00:39,069
Yeah, that's on
Account of, you know?
14
00:00:39,138 --> 00:00:40,638
Yeah.
15
00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:42,017
You're ready to
Do that right now?
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00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:46,777
Yeah.
17
00:00:46,845 --> 00:00:52,416
Now here this, all hands
On deck, notify the kotter
18
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:57,354
His wife is having a baby.
19
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:05,262
♪
20
00:01:08,267 --> 00:01:10,868
♪ welcome back ♪
21
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:14,705
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
22
00:01:14,773 --> 00:01:17,040
♪ welcome back ♪
23
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:21,678
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
24
00:01:21,747 --> 00:01:23,914
♪ well the names
Have all changed
25
00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:26,016
Since you hung around ♪
26
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,185
♪ but those dreams have remained
27
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,488
And they've turned around ♪
28
00:01:30,556 --> 00:01:32,756
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
29
00:01:32,825 --> 00:01:34,670
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
30
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,794
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
31
00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:38,830
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
32
00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,798
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
33
00:01:40,866 --> 00:01:43,067
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
34
00:01:43,135 --> 00:01:45,135
♪ welcome back ♪
35
00:01:45,204 --> 00:01:50,074
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
36
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:59,484
♪
37
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,901
Now, look, now you don't
Worry about nothing, all right?
38
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,503
I'm gonna take care
Of everything here,
39
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,472
You just go have your
Baby and relax, all right?
40
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,728
Okay, thanks, vinnie.
41
00:02:11,797 --> 00:02:12,963
Name?
42
00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:17,768
Vinnie barbarino.
43
00:02:17,836 --> 00:02:23,207
Barbarino, vinnie...
And the mother's name?
44
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:24,942
The mother's name?
45
00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:30,848
Uh, maria theresa
Angelina barbarino.
46
00:02:30,916 --> 00:02:32,383
And her age?
47
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,752
Oh, she'll say 38, but
You better put down 40,
48
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,154
All right?
49
00:02:37,222 --> 00:02:42,592
Okay, and uh, what
Month is this for her?
50
00:02:42,661 --> 00:02:44,561
What month is this for her?
51
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:49,433
The same month that
It is for you and me.
52
00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:51,468
No-no-no-no-no-no, I
Mean, how many months
53
00:02:51,537 --> 00:02:53,770
Has mother been pregnant?
54
00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:56,740
Who said my mother was pregnant?
55
00:02:56,809 --> 00:02:58,242
I'll break his face.
56
00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:01,278
My mother ain't been
Pregnant since she had me.
57
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:05,949
Then she figured, why
Tamper with success?
58
00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:09,186
I'm not talking about
Your mother, mr. Barbarino.
59
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:12,489
Well, you better not
Talk about my mother.
60
00:03:12,558 --> 00:03:15,059
Uh, mr. Barbarino,
Would you mind if we just
61
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,426
Started at the beginning?
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00:03:16,495 --> 00:03:17,572
All right, the
Beginning, all right,
63
00:03:17,596 --> 00:03:18,963
This is what happened, right?
64
00:03:19,031 --> 00:03:22,232
Mr. Woodman leaves me back,
Right, cause I missed this test
65
00:03:22,301 --> 00:03:23,941
That I was supposed
To make up, all right?
66
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,936
So, I get upset, I
Got to mr. Kotter,
67
00:03:26,005 --> 00:03:27,115
I say, "Help me," all right?
68
00:03:27,139 --> 00:03:28,483
So he says, "I can't
Help you vinnie."
69
00:03:28,507 --> 00:03:30,574
So I go, I go to mrs.
Kotter's house...
70
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:33,177
Uh, mr. Barbarino,
Uh, hold it, time out.
71
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:34,990
I would just like the name
Of the pregnant woman
72
00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:37,548
That was wheeled down
The hall a few moments ago.
73
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:39,716
That's what I was getting
To, that's mrs. Kotter,
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00:03:39,785 --> 00:03:41,629
That's all part of the story
I was gonna tell you this.
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00:03:41,653 --> 00:03:44,988
Splendid, "Mrs. Kotter?"
76
00:03:45,057 --> 00:03:46,156
Mrs. Kotter, yeah.
77
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,825
And who is mr. Kotter?
78
00:03:47,893 --> 00:03:49,293
Well that... That's my teacher.
79
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:50,261
What?
80
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,096
All right, he's my
Ex-teacher now.
81
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:58,202
Well, given what you've
Done I'm not surprised.
82
00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,370
Uh, excuse me?
83
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,505
I'm mr. Kotter.
84
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:05,076
I know who you are.
85
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:07,044
Now, now mr. Kotter,
I know how you
86
00:04:07,112 --> 00:04:11,782
And your associates here
Must feel, but please no trouble
87
00:04:11,850 --> 00:04:14,685
I mean these things are
Best handled within the law.
88
00:04:14,753 --> 00:04:15,864
What are you talking about?
89
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:17,099
I don't care what
You're talking about.
90
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,490
- where's my wife?
- she's in a labor room.
91
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:23,060
"Labor room?"
92
00:04:23,128 --> 00:04:28,065
They're making her
Work at a time like this?
93
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,635
Where's the labor room?
94
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:33,503
It's down the hall that way.
95
00:04:33,572 --> 00:04:39,143
Thank you.
96
00:04:39,211 --> 00:04:40,844
Hi there.
97
00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:46,349
This must be your first.
98
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:49,186
My first what?
99
00:04:49,254 --> 00:04:50,621
First baby.
100
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,123
Baby!
101
00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:56,927
Hey, come on now, little arnold
Here just reached puberty.
102
00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:01,098
Yeah, it happened a week
Ago when I was watching
103
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:04,401
American bandstand.
104
00:05:04,469 --> 00:05:08,005
My voice suddenly
Changed from "Ooh, ooh-ooh,"
105
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:12,776
To "Ooh, ooh-ooh!"
106
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:16,247
Well then, this
Kids stuff is a snap.
107
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:17,748
This is my eighth.
108
00:05:17,816 --> 00:05:19,984
Eighth, yeah.
109
00:05:20,052 --> 00:05:24,922
It's nice to see ya
Out of the house.
110
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:29,859
Well... Here we are.
111
00:05:31,797 --> 00:05:36,666
It worked.
112
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:41,338
So, this is what it's
Like to be a grown up.
113
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,507
Oh, ooh, ooh!
114
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,409
Julie, julie, you okay?
115
00:05:45,477 --> 00:05:47,845
Uh-huh, fine, uh, ooh!
116
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,447
You don't sound so fine.
117
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:54,150
Ooh, ooh!
118
00:05:54,219 --> 00:05:58,822
This is no time to be doing
Arnold horshack imitations.
119
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:01,758
Come on, sit up.
120
00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:04,528
Look, you sure this
Natural childbirth thing
121
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:05,729
Is a good idea?
122
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:09,132
Of course it's a good idea.
123
00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:10,945
I don't know, I mean, you
Know, it's still not too late
124
00:06:10,969 --> 00:06:12,969
To change your mind,
What do you think?
125
00:06:13,038 --> 00:06:16,607
And do what?
126
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:21,645
Have an unnatural childbirth?
127
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,347
It's not too late, if you
Want an anesthetic, you know?
128
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,850
They'll give you one,
If you can't use it, uh,
129
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:29,119
They'll give it to me.
130
00:06:29,187 --> 00:06:31,488
Honey, relax.
131
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:35,558
I'm relaxed, I'm relaxed,
I'm just a little tense.
132
00:06:35,627 --> 00:06:38,261
Okay, you know it
Takes a strong man
133
00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:41,164
To be this open and sensitive.
134
00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:43,567
- it does?
- uh-huh.
135
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,203
And I can really
Feel your love, honey.
136
00:06:46,271 --> 00:06:47,571
You can?
137
00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:50,741
Yeah, you're gonna
Be a wonderful father.
138
00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:56,013
Oh, thank you honey, that's
Really sweet of you to say that.
139
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,993
Now, can you say it one
More time about this strong
140
00:06:58,017 --> 00:07:02,786
And sensitive and this time...
141
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:06,924
Now, now, now, that's how
We got here in the first place.
142
00:07:06,992 --> 00:07:08,826
Oh, dr. Melman, how're ya doing?
143
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,571
- how are ya?
- how are ya, doctor?
144
00:07:10,595 --> 00:07:14,731
Well, now then, let's
See how we're doing here.
145
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,168
Incidentally julie,
Did I ever tell you
146
00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:19,736
Gabe was one of the first
Babies I ever delivered.
147
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:25,642
Yeah, but don't worry,
I'm a lot better at it now.
148
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:27,878
Oh, we're getting closer!
149
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:32,082
Don't go away,
I'll be right back.
150
00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:34,552
Hi there!
151
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,986
You mind if I come in?
152
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,999
No, wait a minute, I'm sorry,
But this is only for members
153
00:07:38,023 --> 00:07:39,824
Of the immediate family.
154
00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:42,159
It's okay doctor,
You see I'm the cousin
155
00:07:42,227 --> 00:07:47,164
They don't talk about.
156
00:07:51,937 --> 00:07:56,707
You see, I'm the white
Sheep of the family.
157
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:58,475
Oh, a kidder?
158
00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:01,678
It's all right, I like a kidder.
159
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,680
Freddie, uh, I think
You better wait outside.
160
00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:05,682
No-no, it's okay,
Come on in freddie.
161
00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:07,395
Oh, this ain't gonna take
Long, 'cause I know you all
162
00:08:07,419 --> 00:08:10,687
Got a lotta things
To do, but um...
163
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,791
This is from all of the
Guys to you, mrs. Kott-aire.
164
00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:15,558
Thank you, freddie, how nice!
165
00:08:15,627 --> 00:08:17,439
- that was really nice of you.
- oh, think nothing of it.
166
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:18,907
Honey, why don't
You read the card?
167
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,241
The card, what a
Minute, what card?
168
00:08:20,265 --> 00:08:25,202
Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait,
Don't touch the card!
169
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:32,776
"Dear manny, good luck
With your kidney stones."
170
00:08:38,984 --> 00:08:40,684
Freddie.
171
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:44,221
Hey, look, it's all right,
Mr. Kott-aire, I mean, I mean,
172
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,301
A guy, a guy doesn't need
Flowers just because
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00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:50,794
His kidneys got stoned.
174
00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,963
See you later, freddie.
175
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:55,966
Yeah, see ya later.
176
00:08:56,034 --> 00:08:58,435
Oh, you going, huh?
177
00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:01,338
White sheep.
178
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,240
So long, kidder.
179
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:07,344
Well, boy and girl,
Let's go have a baby.
180
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:08,624
All right, be very careful guys,
181
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,191
This is the only
Wife I have, all right?
182
00:09:10,215 --> 00:09:11,682
Don't worry.
183
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:15,819
Don't worry, we haven't
Dropped anyone all day.
184
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,566
- take it easy!
- this your first time?
185
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,055
Yeah it is.
186
00:09:19,124 --> 00:09:22,993
Oh, my god, our first baby.
187
00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:26,763
We're really going
Through with it!
188
00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:28,465
You know something, honey?
189
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,601
I'm a little scared.
190
00:09:30,669 --> 00:09:34,204
Don't worry, julie,
Everything's gonna be fine.
191
00:09:34,272 --> 00:09:37,708
Hey, did I ever tell you
The story about the...
192
00:09:37,776 --> 00:09:40,644
Man who loved
His wife very much?
193
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,746
Yeah, I like that one.
194
00:09:42,814 --> 00:09:46,150
I'm glad to say I know it.
195
00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:49,085
Are you crying?
196
00:09:49,154 --> 00:09:56,693
No, I... I just had
An onion sandwich.
197
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:02,800
Julie, I love you very much.
198
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,268
I'll see you later.
199
00:10:04,336 --> 00:10:09,272
You'll see us later.
200
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,768
Hey nurse, I wanna make a
Complaint about this here
201
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,191
Vending machine!
202
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:29,526
Did you use the correct change?
203
00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:33,997
Yeah, I just lost a good
Dime slug and nickel slug.
204
00:10:34,065 --> 00:10:35,577
Why did I ever
Leave intensive care?
205
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:39,703
It was always so
Nice and quiet there.
206
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:41,538
Bet you liked that, huh?
207
00:10:41,606 --> 00:10:44,474
Anybody gives you any trouble,
You just pull the old plug
208
00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:49,479
On 'em, huh?
209
00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:56,820
Well, there is another
Vending machine in the lobby.
210
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:59,049
Oh, and if that one doesn't
Work, why don't you try
211
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:04,261
Our sister hospital in burma!
212
00:11:04,329 --> 00:11:06,930
Hey, vinnie, how do
We get to burma?
213
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:11,201
Burma?
214
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:14,171
Let's see now, how do you
Get to burma, I know that.
215
00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:17,774
You see, you gotta take
The d train to the bronx
216
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,242
And transfer there.
217
00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:22,279
Or, wait, maybe
It's the a train.
218
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:26,649
I forget, I used to know
That, but I... I forget.
219
00:11:26,718 --> 00:11:31,121
Oh, you guys aren't
You all excited?
220
00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:36,392
Excited, why did you see
A cute nurse, or what?
221
00:11:36,461 --> 00:11:40,664
I love those white stockings
Where you can see the...
222
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,966
Hey, epstein, that
Number with the flowers
223
00:11:43,034 --> 00:11:45,335
That went over pretty big.
224
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:46,881
Hey, why don't you check in
With that dude manny, you know
225
00:11:46,905 --> 00:11:49,039
That cat with them
Stoned kidneys?
226
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:51,086
I think somebody sent him
Some chocolate turtles.
227
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,076
Yeah, yeah, eh
That's a good idea,
228
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,956
I mean he doesn't need
That junk anyway, you know?
229
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,080
The sugar, it rots
You out inside.
230
00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,582
Hey, arnold, let's
Go to the lobby, huh?
231
00:11:59,651 --> 00:12:01,985
♪ lets all go to the lobby ♪
232
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:04,087
♪ lets all go to the lobby ♪
233
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,523
♪ lets all go to the lobby ♪
234
00:12:06,591 --> 00:12:08,091
♪ to have ourselves a treat ♪
235
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,395
Yeah!
236
00:12:11,463 --> 00:12:15,665
Where'd those
Guys go, the lobby?
237
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:17,134
How are ya doing?
238
00:12:17,202 --> 00:12:21,938
Okay, okay, thanks for
Coming, freddie, vinnie.
239
00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:26,944
Hey, what's with
That guy over there?
240
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:32,482
I think he od'd on fatherhood.
241
00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:34,362
Look, I gotta talk to him
In private, like, all right?
242
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:35,897
- oh, no problem.
- all right.
243
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,186
I wanna talk to you.
244
00:12:37,255 --> 00:12:40,524
Um, I'm really glad about
What happens, you know?
245
00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:42,403
Mrs. Kotter and everything,
It's all really turned out
246
00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:43,571
Cool and everything, all right?
247
00:12:43,595 --> 00:12:45,039
- thanks a lot, vinnie.
- that's good.
248
00:12:45,063 --> 00:12:47,764
Uh, but there are more important
Things going on in life too,
249
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:50,066
You know?
250
00:12:50,135 --> 00:12:54,070
Like me getting left back,
I mean that's a big problem.
251
00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:55,683
Vinnie, do you really
Think I can concentrate
252
00:12:55,707 --> 00:12:57,518
On anything else other
Than what's going on
253
00:12:57,542 --> 00:12:59,342
In that delivery room?
254
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:01,289
Well, look man, the chances
Are that mrs. Kotter's
255
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,225
Gonna come outta that
Delivery room, all right?
256
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:04,792
But I'm not so sure
About the chances of me
257
00:13:04,816 --> 00:13:09,419
Getting out outta
The tenth grade.
258
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:11,955
Vinnie, I promise you you'll get
Out of the tenth grade, okay?
259
00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:15,024
Well there he is, a man
Who's about to spend
260
00:13:15,093 --> 00:13:17,694
His entire life in
The tenth grade.
261
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,197
See what I mean, you see that?
262
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,565
Hey, vinnie, vinnie, my
Man, don't worry about it.
263
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:25,468
Let's go down to
The nurse's lounge.
264
00:13:25,537 --> 00:13:27,704
Hey, maybe they'll let
You donate your body.
265
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:29,106
Check it out.
266
00:13:29,174 --> 00:13:31,186
That's a good idea, I'll get
My mind off the situation.
267
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:32,453
- yeah.
- now, don't tell them
268
00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:35,178
I got left back, right?
269
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:37,680
♪ lets all go to the lobby ♪
270
00:13:37,749 --> 00:13:42,052
♪ lets all go to the lobby ♪
271
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,921
They're going to the lobby.
272
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,756
What are you doing
Here, mr. Woodman?
273
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:49,459
I guess I'm sort of sentimental,
Kotter, I like to be around
274
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:53,730
When a new delinquent
Is brought into the world.
275
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,966
Oh, come on,
Mr. Woodman, admit it!
276
00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:58,167
You're here because you care.
277
00:13:58,236 --> 00:14:00,504
You keep this up and I'll leave.
278
00:14:00,572 --> 00:14:03,740
I didn't plan to come
Here, I was passing by.
279
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:07,443
My bus suddenly caught fire.
280
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:12,448
I ran for my life and don't
Ask me how, I found myself here.
281
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:17,287
Thanks for coming, mr., woodman.
282
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:23,059
So, uh... How's
She doing, kotter?
283
00:14:23,128 --> 00:14:27,330
Julie's fine.
284
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:30,466
I'm so-so.
285
00:14:30,535 --> 00:14:32,580
Well, remember gabe, there's
Nothing to worry about.
286
00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:36,106
I've had a little experience
With this sort of thing.
287
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:38,041
You?
288
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:42,912
Yeah, I got as girl
In trouble once.
289
00:14:42,981 --> 00:14:45,948
You got a girl in trouble?
290
00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:48,484
Well, sort of...
291
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:52,689
I was going with a strange
Girl named eunice tishman.
292
00:14:52,757 --> 00:14:55,292
She was convinced
That once of her legs
293
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,829
Was shorter than the other.
294
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:01,531
But she was fun.
295
00:15:01,599 --> 00:15:07,437
Every day after school,
We'd go shopping for shoes.
296
00:15:07,505 --> 00:15:09,150
Mr. Woodman, this sounds
Like it's gonna be worse
297
00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:11,475
Than one of my stories.
298
00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:15,245
No, it's not that bad, kotter.
299
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:17,180
No, it's got a big finish.
300
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:21,485
Now, one day eunice and I
Found this all night shoe store.
301
00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:24,020
There was only one salesman.
302
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:27,023
Now, try to picture
This in your mind.
303
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,271
A lonely guy, nothing to do
Between midnight and 7:00 a.M.
304
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:34,164
But buff wedgies.
305
00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:40,370
Not your average guy.
306
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:43,840
Neither are you mr. Woodman.
307
00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:47,210
Lemme tell you, he knew feet.
308
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:49,424
Right away, he spots eunice
As one of his own people,
309
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,115
He lets her try on
Every shoe in that place.
310
00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:55,051
Pumps, sandals, keds, the works!
311
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,555
And he convinces her
Her legs are the same size!
312
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,658
Where is this story
Going, mr. Woodman?
313
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:06,095
Hang in there, kotter,
I'm bringing it home.
314
00:16:06,164 --> 00:16:09,633
Naturally, eunice falls
Madly in love with this guy.
315
00:16:09,701 --> 00:16:14,638
Even though he's older,
With higher arches.
316
00:16:16,441 --> 00:16:20,810
And now, are you ready for this?
317
00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:25,749
They ran off together to a
Shoe convention in salt lake city.
318
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,354
Yeah?
319
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:36,092
They ran off together to a
Shoe convention in salt lake city.
320
00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:40,430
Well, I don't understand,
How did you get her in trouble?
321
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,043
Kotter, don't you get it,
I'm the one who took her
322
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:46,936
To the shoe store
In the first place!
323
00:16:53,978 --> 00:16:56,046
Mr. Woodman...
324
00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:58,148
Over the years we
Haven't been close,
325
00:16:58,216 --> 00:17:00,650
But I wanna give you
Some advice as a friend,
326
00:17:00,718 --> 00:17:05,588
Never tell that story again.
327
00:17:23,141 --> 00:17:25,174
This is really a fun
Place, mr. Kotter.
328
00:17:25,243 --> 00:17:26,987
Uh, we just took arnold
Up to plastic surgery
329
00:17:27,011 --> 00:17:31,881
For an estimate.
330
00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:37,086
Hey, mr. Woodman, what
Are you doing in the hospital?
331
00:17:37,155 --> 00:17:41,758
I like the food.
332
00:17:41,826 --> 00:17:44,561
I couldn't believe it myself.
333
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,107
I couldn't believe...
Oh, here they are.
334
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,131
Here they are, they're
The ones who left me back.
335
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,033
Go operate on 'em.
336
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:53,936
Hey, vinnie, my man, these are
Student nurses, not surgeons.
337
00:17:54,005 --> 00:17:55,983
I know, it's better that way,
That way when they operate
338
00:17:56,007 --> 00:17:58,941
They don't know
What they're doing.
339
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,276
Cork it, clowns!
340
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:02,813
Show some respect, mrs.
Kotter's having a baby!
341
00:18:02,881 --> 00:18:04,491
Hey look, you show
Respect your way,
342
00:18:04,515 --> 00:18:07,050
We'll show respect
Our way, all right?
343
00:18:07,118 --> 00:18:08,129
All right guys,
Come on, cut it out,
344
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:09,197
Otherwise, we'll
Have mr. Woodman
345
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:14,490
Tell you his shoe story.
346
00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:16,304
Let's go, come on,
Epstein, horshack,
347
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:17,438
Put the wheelchair back.
348
00:18:17,462 --> 00:18:18,695
Yes, sir.
349
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,564
Washington, barbarino,
Put the girls back.
350
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:23,533
Let the girls go
Back to their jobs.
351
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,301
I'll catch you after work, baby.
352
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:28,971
Wear those white
Stockings too, I like that.
353
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,885
Let's not make a
Circus out of this, okay?
354
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:32,809
Hey, relax, mr. Kotter,
There's nothing
355
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,878
To having this baby stuff!
356
00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:37,414
Come on now, my
Mother's had 10 of 'em.
357
00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:39,215
- really?
- that's right.
358
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:42,886
Most of 'em are normal.
359
00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:45,321
Except for my
Brother sanchez, but...
360
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,557
Hey, look these things
Happen, you know?
361
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:51,761
At least they let him
Come home every christmas!
362
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:53,641
Mr. Kotter, there ain't no
Problem here, you know that?
363
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:58,601
I mean if it's ugly,
We just switch babies.
364
00:19:01,339 --> 00:19:03,974
- vinnie...
- look, it's very simple,
365
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:07,743
You tiptoe into the baby room,
Then you take the ugly baby out,
366
00:19:07,812 --> 00:19:09,690
- and then put in...
- all right, that's enough.
367
00:19:09,714 --> 00:19:14,718
All right, sit down, sit down!
368
00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:17,888
Two hours and ten minutes, I
Wanna know what's going on!
369
00:19:17,956 --> 00:19:19,601
I wanna know what's
Going on in there.
370
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:22,526
Two hours and ten minutes,
Why don't they say something?
371
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:24,961
I'm going in there,
I'm tell... Mr. Kotter?
372
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,329
What?
373
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:30,366
Allow me to put
Your fears to rest.
374
00:19:30,435 --> 00:19:36,272
We are all here to
Witness a miracle.
375
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:39,408
The miracle of
Birth and mr. Kotter...
376
00:19:39,477 --> 00:19:41,845
Miracles cannot be rushed.
377
00:19:41,913 --> 00:19:46,783
Look, arnold I am...
378
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:52,155
Arnold, what you just
Said, that was beautiful
379
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:53,523
It made a lot of sense.
380
00:19:53,591 --> 00:19:58,527
Of course, births
Cannot be rushed!
381
00:19:58,596 --> 00:20:03,466
For example, first the
Stork has to be notified.
382
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:07,203
I'm going in there.
383
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:09,172
- oh, no.
- mr. Kotter, relax!
384
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,574
Five minute, five minutes...
385
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:13,043
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
386
00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:15,444
You got five
Minutes, if you don't...
387
00:20:15,513 --> 00:20:17,013
Congratulations.
388
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:18,082
What?
389
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:19,660
You're the father
Of a bouncing...
390
00:20:19,684 --> 00:20:21,584
Excuse me doctor!
391
00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:25,254
- what, what?
- sit tight.
392
00:20:25,323 --> 00:20:28,658
He said it was bouncing.
393
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,137
- wait a minute, wait!
- hey, hey!
394
00:20:30,161 --> 00:20:32,073
- take it easy!
- mr. Kotter would you calm down!
395
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:33,574
They didn't say
What was bouncing!
396
00:20:33,598 --> 00:20:36,633
Why would he come in here
And say something was bouncing?
397
00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:40,436
What's bouncing, am I the
Father of a ball, or what?
398
00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:42,238
Is there a doctor in the house?
399
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:44,607
"Bouncing," that's
All he said, "Bouncing."
400
00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:46,487
Okay, just, just, it's
Gonna be all right,
401
00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:49,345
The doctor's gonna be here
Soon, all right, all right?
402
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:53,049
Why didn't he say
What was bouncing?
403
00:20:53,117 --> 00:20:54,751
Doc, what's bouncing?
404
00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:59,689
Gabe, make that bouncing babies,
405
00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:05,696
Twins?
406
00:21:05,730 --> 00:21:08,898
Girls, girls gabe!
407
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:11,868
Twins, the mother and
Daughters are doing fine.
408
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:17,207
- yes!
- yay!
409
00:21:17,275 --> 00:21:20,176
Have a cigar, have
A cigar, have a cigar.
410
00:21:20,245 --> 00:21:21,755
I've never smoked
On of these before.
411
00:21:21,779 --> 00:21:26,216
♪ I've got bouncing
Baby girls to a bed ♪
412
00:21:26,284 --> 00:21:28,418
♪ bouncing here,
Bouncing there ♪
413
00:21:28,486 --> 00:21:30,220
♪ bouncing everywhere ♪
414
00:21:30,288 --> 00:21:35,124
♪ bouncing babies ♪
415
00:21:44,102 --> 00:21:45,568
You okay?
416
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:48,337
Fine.
417
00:21:48,406 --> 00:21:51,140
Have a cigar.
418
00:21:51,208 --> 00:21:54,811
Thanks.
419
00:21:54,879 --> 00:21:56,546
Twins.
420
00:21:56,614 --> 00:22:00,483
I always was an overachiever.
421
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,096
I don't understand,
Honey, don't they usually
422
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:03,419
Know about things like that?
423
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:08,825
Yeah, they do, one
Of them was hiding.
424
00:22:08,893 --> 00:22:11,494
I love you, honey.
425
00:22:14,465 --> 00:22:17,667
I have a couple of visitors
Who want to see you.
426
00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:22,672
Oh, I don't think right now.
427
00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:29,745
I think these two will be okay.
428
00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:48,598
I'm your daddy.
429
00:22:48,666 --> 00:22:50,900
She's talking to me.
430
00:22:50,969 --> 00:22:54,403
What's she saying?
431
00:22:54,472 --> 00:22:59,408
She's saying "Who
Is this masked man?"
432
00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:05,247
That's no masked man,
That's your father.
433
00:23:05,316 --> 00:23:10,186
Dada kotter, kotter dada.
434
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:16,960
♪
435
00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:26,035
Next, on "Welcome back, kotter"
436
00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:28,171
Okay, here we go, girls.
437
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,383
I know it's not
What you're used to,
438
00:23:29,407 --> 00:23:31,607
But it's gonna
Have to do for now.
439
00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:35,711
And no complains or daddy'll
Make you chip in for the rent.
440
00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:37,925
Vinnie, I'll tell ya what, I
Promise as soon as we get
441
00:23:37,949 --> 00:23:40,416
Settled, I'll talk to
Mr. Woodman and I'll get him
442
00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:42,318
To give you the
Make-up test okay?
443
00:23:42,386 --> 00:23:44,887
But leave us alone
For a while, all right?
444
00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:48,258
Go away, nobody's home!
445
00:23:48,326 --> 00:23:50,360
Nobody's home,
Now that's enough!
446
00:23:50,428 --> 00:23:52,195
Go away!
447
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:54,864
Go... Julie's mother and father!
448
00:23:54,932 --> 00:23:56,499
- what?!
- hey.
449
00:23:56,568 --> 00:23:59,034
We brought you the
Finest everything.
450
00:23:59,103 --> 00:24:02,438
We have baby peas,
Young lima beans,
451
00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:06,342
And tender golden niblets.
452
00:24:06,411 --> 00:24:08,311
I just want them to leave.
453
00:24:08,379 --> 00:24:13,416
Don't worry, it'll
Be taken care of.
454
00:24:17,021 --> 00:24:18,688
I can't take it anymore.
455
00:24:18,757 --> 00:24:21,157
It's driving me cr-crazy.
456
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:29,165
♪
457
00:24:31,035 --> 00:24:33,502
♪ welcome back ♪
458
00:24:33,571 --> 00:24:37,740
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
459
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:39,775
♪ welcome back ♪
460
00:24:39,844 --> 00:24:44,446
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
461
00:24:44,515 --> 00:24:46,716
♪ well the names
Have all changed
462
00:24:46,784 --> 00:24:48,851
Since you hung around ♪
463
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,953
♪ but those dreams have remained
464
00:24:51,022 --> 00:24:53,389
And they've turned around ♪
465
00:24:53,457 --> 00:24:55,591
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
466
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:57,471
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
467
00:24:57,495 --> 00:24:59,361
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
468
00:24:59,430 --> 00:25:01,597
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
469
00:25:01,666 --> 00:25:03,499
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
470
00:25:03,567 --> 00:25:05,801
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
471
00:25:05,870 --> 00:25:07,370
♪ welcome back ♪
34796
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