Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,490 --> 00:00:03,490
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:18,950 --> 00:00:23,990
NARRATOR: In late 1986, a 55
gallon drum of highly toxic
3
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:27,090
experimental chemical
warfare nuclear waste
4
00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:29,400
was rumored to be missing
from a high security
5
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:33,320
warehouse facility at Fort
Henry Dicker, Maryland.
6
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,570
After many denials,
it was finally
7
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:37,790
admitted by top
Pentagon officials
8
00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:42,170
that indeed one drum of the
biohazard was unaccounted for.
9
00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:44,710
Fort Dicker spokesperson
Brigadier General John
10
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,350
Gillis maintains
that this barrel
11
00:00:47,350 --> 00:00:49,920
poses no human health threat.
12
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,260
Retired Fort Dicker
scientist Dr. Roger Soriano
13
00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:56,460
when asked to comment,
replied that this one
14
00:00:56,460 --> 00:01:00,120
particular barrel could
mean the end of life
15
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,120
as we know it on this planet.
16
00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:06,310
[MUSIC PLAYING]
17
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,000
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
18
00:01:39,450 --> 00:01:41,440
[LAUGHTER ECHOING]
19
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,690
Ooh!
ORDERLY: Son of a bitch.
20
00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:08,390
[SLAPPING]
21
00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:10,390
ORDERLY: Get him
down the hall, quick.
22
00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:14,880
[LAUGHTER ECHOING]
23
00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:49,710
[DOOR OPENS]
24
00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,210
DR KILDARE: So that's her, huh?
25
00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:51,930
Yes.
26
00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:54,190
Quite a disturbing case.
27
00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:56,070
And what's the prognosis?
28
00:02:56,070 --> 00:02:58,220
Our patient seems
to be suffering
29
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,510
from an acute effective
paranoid psychosis
30
00:03:01,510 --> 00:03:05,260
with complications of
schizophrenic melanomic edema.
31
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:07,880
At least that's the
preliminary indication.
32
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,350
Well, there must be some
way to break through it.
33
00:03:10,350 --> 00:03:12,350
What the hell happened up there?
34
00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:15,220
No one knows, but
whatever it was,
35
00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:19,070
it must have been the
epitome of horror.
36
00:03:19,070 --> 00:03:22,150
Well, do we have time for
nine holes before surgery?
37
00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:23,430
Oh, yes.
38
00:03:23,430 --> 00:03:25,100
Let's play at your club.
39
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,710
Mine doesn't allow Jews.
40
00:03:27,710 --> 00:03:30,430
Well, what's your hitting
average these days, Sven?
41
00:03:30,430 --> 00:03:32,470
I'll go back to 16.
42
00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:33,940
16?
43
00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:35,880
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
44
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:03,970
[VOICE ECHOING]
45
00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:14,860
[INAUDIBLE ECHOING]
46
00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:43,620
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
47
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:09,870
[MUSIC ON RADIO]
48
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,250
It's messing with my
head driving this shit
49
00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:14,260
from one dump to another.
50
00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:16,950
Just don't make no sense.
51
00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:18,470
Can't keep it in
Cumberlink because it's
52
00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:20,530
too close to the
river, so it's got
53
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:23,890
to go to [INAUDIBLE] where
it'll be too close to the ocean.
54
00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:26,140
Can you believe that, Hoss?
55
00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:28,270
So now here I am in
the middle of redneck
56
00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:32,200
nowhere with a few stripes
and a short straw playing
57
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,520
nursemaid to a god damn tin can
full of chemical toxic warfare
58
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,190
waste.
[STATIC]
59
00:06:37,190 --> 00:06:38,640
Oh, shit.
60
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,580
PREACHER (ON RADIO): And
the Lord, I said the Lord
61
00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:43,490
has made men equal in his eyes.
62
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:47,220
We are all brothers, and that
is why we must be rid, I say,
63
00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:50,920
must be rid of those who
would disgrace brotherhood.
64
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,560
We must smite the niggers
and chase the [INAUDIBLE]
65
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:56,210
Bastards from off...
Fuck you.
66
00:06:59,830 --> 00:07:03,200
Now, let's see, I'm sure
this splotch right here
67
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,550
is that tree right over there.
68
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,550
I think that splotch
is a tobacco stain.
69
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:09,550
That old man dribbled like
a Harlem globetrotter.
70
00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:11,680
BOB: Hell, he was missing so
many teeth it looked like Mr
71
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,140
T did a workout on his face.
72
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:15,600
Well I pity the fool who
don't cut the bullshit
73
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,670
and find a trail
before we die out here.
74
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:20,130
Unless you can't
find it, Wilbur.
75
00:07:20,130 --> 00:07:22,540
I'll find it, don't you
worry none little lady.
76
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:27,090
I'm sure that this splotch
is that tree, dickhead.
77
00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:29,410
Which means this scraw
is probably that fence.
78
00:07:36,140 --> 00:07:38,200
Which means the trail
is right over here.
79
00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:43,330
Hot damn!
80
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,890
Hallelujah.
81
00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:47,220
Hey, don't be singing no
spirituals now, Theresa.
82
00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:50,170
I'll tell you what, I'll just
sing about redneck white boys
83
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:53,540
who a pain in they own ass.
84
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,390
Are we going to stand
here and slap gums,
85
00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:57,120
or are we going to get into
some serious wilderness?
86
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,630
Well how about we stay?
87
00:07:58,630 --> 00:07:59,790
Eat me, Bob.
88
00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:02,560
- No, baby, I don't do that shit.
- I know.
89
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,460
Come on, let's
get a move on so we
90
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:06,530
can have camp set before dark.
91
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,700
All this and brains, too.
92
00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:21,230
WILBUR: How are you
feeling, Andrew?
93
00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:23,070
Finer than frog's hair, Wilbur.
94
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,580
Well, come on, Mr. Clean.
95
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:27,550
I don't know why you're always
knocking my personal hygiene.
96
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:29,330
The odor emanating from
your upper pubic hairs
97
00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:31,870
could knock The Terminator
off a shit wagon.
98
00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:33,040
Maybe you should try some.
99
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,450
I mean, what's it going to do,
make you dissolve or something?
100
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:36,750
- Think I should?
- Yeah, sure.
101
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:39,520
Keep it.
Don't worry, I've got plenty.
102
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,080
Listen, you were just kidding
about my pubes, weren't you?
103
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:42,780
Yeah, sure.
104
00:08:42,780 --> 00:08:46,760
Don't worry, anyway,
that'll take care of it.
105
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,720
Oh, man, I been
talking your ears off
106
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,620
and I haven't even
offered you a huff.
107
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:51,470
How about it?
108
00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:54,240
You want to hit a joint?
109
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,610
[BURP]
110
00:08:55,610 --> 00:08:58,000
Just what I thought you'd said.
111
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,160
Here you go.
112
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,640
[RADIO STATIC]
113
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,050
TYRONE: [INAUDIBLE]
114
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,540
[DOG BARKING]
115
00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:24,820
Shit on a toadstool.
116
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:25,800
Watch it.
117
00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:50,530
Phew, no leaks.
118
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:57,610
Get off my land!
119
00:09:57,610 --> 00:10:00,910
Get off my soil.
120
00:10:00,910 --> 00:10:01,810
Uh, whoa.
121
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:02,570
Be cool, yo.
122
00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:04,840
I just lost some shit here.
123
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,360
And I don't need no revenuers
poking around in my business.
124
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,360
Now, get!
125
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:13,970
Look here, slim, I
just need my barrel.
126
00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:19,710
Now what we have here is
a failure to communicate.
127
00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:21,710
Bitch!
128
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:23,200
[GUNSHOT]
129
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:54,400
Do not open till Christmas.
130
00:11:05,110 --> 00:11:06,100
[GUN COCKS]
131
00:11:08,610 --> 00:11:11,700
Jed, Junior, Jethro, Billy Bob.
132
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:14,910
Elly May to you, coon shit.
133
00:11:14,910 --> 00:11:15,870
Right.
134
00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:17,670
What did you do to our still?
135
00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:19,300
Still?
136
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:21,960
Uh, I didn't shoot your still.
137
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,640
Anyways, it was an accident.
138
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,480
You see, I was walking up the
road and I dropped my gun,
139
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,920
and it went off
three or four times.
140
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,580
You know we promised all the
swill they could drink down
141
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:35,230
in the valley before
you got into town,
142
00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:37,450
and you shot up our still.
143
00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:40,480
So now I think we're going
to have to use your still
144
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,070
to deliver.
145
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:44,140
My still?
146
00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:45,900
You want to use my still?
147
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,910
My still ain't no good.
148
00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:49,300
You said so a thousand
times yourself.
149
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:52,950
Ferd Mertz, your
still ain't no good.
150
00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:55,880
Tell you what, look
what I got for you here.
151
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,800
Brand new still.
152
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,440
One of them European jobs.
153
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:01,150
Slick.
154
00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:02,170
Look at that.
155
00:12:02,170 --> 00:12:03,770
Sturdy, kick them rims.
156
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:07,140
Yeah, this still
work good for you.
157
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,820
And look at that paint job.
158
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:10,450
Young, fast.
159
00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,260
Does have a nice paint job.
160
00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:15,170
And all this can be yours,
seeing you need it so bad,
161
00:12:15,170 --> 00:12:17,470
cuz I'm your friend, Ferd.
162
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,730
Let's buy it, daddy.
163
00:12:21,630 --> 00:12:24,460
Well, OK, but if you ever
mess around our still again,
164
00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:27,010
Ferd Mertz, you're going
to be picking buckshot
165
00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:29,270
from where the sun don't shine.
166
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,430
You mean Antarctica?
167
00:12:30,430 --> 00:12:31,940
JED: Get!
168
00:12:31,940 --> 00:12:34,120
Well the sun don't
shine in Antarctica.
169
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,650
All they got down there are
them funny little penguins
170
00:12:36,650 --> 00:12:38,980
and those big polar bears.
Grr!
171
00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:39,980
Ahh!
172
00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:40,840
Scared myself.
173
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,910
Gee, daddy, why didn't
we shoot that vermin?
174
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:51,400
Yeah, we should've
filled him full of holes.
175
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,830
Yeah, we should've
plugerized him.
176
00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:54,530
Oh now, come on, boys.
177
00:12:54,530 --> 00:12:56,600
I taught you all
better than that.
178
00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:00,280
Just because old Ferd's
got polecat shit for brains
179
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,220
don't mean he'd be all bad.
180
00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:04,810
Oh sure, I do get my
dander up once in a while.
181
00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:09,070
And maybe I do feel like
blowing a hole in his ass.
182
00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:11,510
But he did give us
this nice barrel here.
183
00:13:11,510 --> 00:13:15,290
And well, sometimes you
just gotta do what's right.
184
00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:18,780
Doesn't mean you
have to like it.
185
00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:19,590
Huh?
186
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:20,960
Shut up!
187
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:21,950
You're right, daddy.
188
00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:26,450
Dang.
189
00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:29,080
That thing's heavier
than a cement yule.
190
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,430
Go get our new truck, Billy Bob.
191
00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:34,070
How many times do I
have to tell you, daddy?
192
00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:36,120
Call me Elly May.
193
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:37,570
All right, dag nabit!
194
00:13:37,570 --> 00:13:42,220
Go get the new truck, Elly
May, before I tan your hide.
195
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:46,030
Gee, daddy, why does Billy Bob
want us to call him Elly May?
196
00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:47,460
Well, Junior...
197
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,990
I'm Jethro, Pa.
198
00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:51,150
I'm Junior.
199
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:58,790
Well, Jethro, your brother's
kinda funny and oh, never mind.
200
00:13:58,790 --> 00:14:01,550
I never should've bought that
dang satellite TV anyhow.
201
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,800
I like that satellite TV.
202
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,500
Me, too.
203
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:04,380
I like it.
204
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:06,080
I like Jeckyl and Jeckyl.
205
00:14:11,510 --> 00:14:13,130
[ARGUING]
206
00:14:19,950 --> 00:14:20,650
You bitch!
207
00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:27,620
You boys hurry up
with that thing.
208
00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:30,880
We got work ahead of us if
we're going to get that mash
209
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,510
delivered in town by tonight.
210
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:40,970
Oh, you've been a good
old girl to us, Florey.
211
00:14:40,970 --> 00:14:45,070
But I guess I
gotta put you down.
212
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:46,910
I hate to do it, you know?
213
00:14:46,910 --> 00:14:50,540
But it... it's like my daddy
used to say to me before he
214
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:53,250
got run over by that tractor.
215
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:56,450
Sometimes life sucks.
216
00:14:56,450 --> 00:14:58,140
Well you boys hurry up?
217
00:14:58,140 --> 00:14:59,310
Now get a move on.
218
00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:00,080
We ain't got all night.
219
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,800
- Jethro, come on.
- Ow!
220
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:03,500
Oh!
221
00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:08,290
Ow!
222
00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:09,670
Oh, my foot.
223
00:15:09,670 --> 00:15:12,220
Quit your whining, Junior.
224
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:13,640
I'm Jethro, Pa.
225
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,350
Oh, quit your whining anyhow.
226
00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:17,300
Now get the dang
thing opened up.
227
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,200
What do you suppose
is inside, Pa, huh?
228
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,330
Well, my guess is
that it's either
229
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:24,850
bleach, iodine, or fertilizer.
230
00:15:24,850 --> 00:15:25,910
Ooh, I hope it's fertilizer.
231
00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:26,840
I like fertilizer.
232
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,360
Me, too, Pa.
233
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,090
Ow!
234
00:15:30,090 --> 00:15:31,060
What'd I do?
235
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,220
Oh, never mind.
236
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:35,180
Now just get the dang
thing opened up, Billy Bob.
237
00:15:35,180 --> 00:15:37,080
Elly May, daddy.
238
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,590
I asked you nice.
239
00:15:41,830 --> 00:15:43,900
You sure weird, boy.
240
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:47,310
Must take after your
Ma's side of the family.
241
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:48,600
Now get to work, Elly May.
242
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,060
[DOG BARKING]
243
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:21,990
Wait a minute.
244
00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:27,050
OK.
245
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:35,680
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
246
00:17:08,350 --> 00:17:09,340
What is it, Daddy?
247
00:17:09,340 --> 00:17:11,090
Yeah, Pa, what is it?
248
00:17:17,810 --> 00:17:24,120
Well, uh, it looks
like fertilizer.
249
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:30,850
Smells like iodine with
a piss of bleach in it.
250
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,250
Hmm.
251
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,580
Maybe it's all of them, Daddy.
252
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:37,430
Well, whatever it
is, it better taste
253
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:40,570
good because you splattered it
all over the corn squeezings,
254
00:17:40,570 --> 00:17:42,730
you otter ass.
255
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:44,720
I'm sorry, Daddy.
256
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,220
[BELL DINGS]
257
00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:48,110
Daddy, Daddy, it's
the tobacco man!
258
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,640
Give us some money, Daddy!
259
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:54,100
Hurry, Daddy, before he leaves.
260
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:56,730
Hold your pants on, boys.
261
00:17:56,730 --> 00:17:58,290
He ain't going nowhere.
262
00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:05,700
Here's your money.
263
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:10,900
And I want you to go ahead
get some tobacco for my pipe.
264
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:11,600
Yeah!
265
00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:17,090
[BELL DINGING]
266
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:31,840
Hi, Mr tobacco man.
How are you...
267
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:32,680
Hi, Mr tobacco man!
268
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:33,730
Hi, Mr tobacco man!
269
00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:40,420
I've been waiting
for you, boys.
270
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,480
I've been waiting.
271
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,730
What'll it be today, boys?
272
00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:50,080
[LAUGHING]
273
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:54,660
I got dip for the gum,
snuff for the nose.
274
00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:59,350
I got roll your own smokes
and a new fangled machine
275
00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:02,080
that rolls them for you.
276
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:05,980
I even got pellets that
taste like licorice.
277
00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:07,990
Don't have to spit them out.
278
00:19:07,990 --> 00:19:10,400
Just let it dissolve.
279
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,360
Oh, they good.
280
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,860
They good for young
ones just like you.
281
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:16,700
What'll it be, boys?
282
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:17,620
Dip, dip!
283
00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:21,830
We want dip and flake
for Daddy's pipe!
284
00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:23,820
All right, boys.
285
00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:31,670
Here's your dip.
286
00:19:37,650 --> 00:19:42,500
And here's the flake
for your daddy's pipe.
287
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:43,990
[CHUCKLING]
288
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:06,450
Thank you!
We love our dip!
289
00:20:06,450 --> 00:20:07,950
We love our dip.
290
00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:08,940
Yeah, we do!
291
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:11,950
Run along now, boys.
292
00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:18,430
I know you like my dip,
but dark times are coming.
293
00:20:18,430 --> 00:20:21,910
You'll like my dip
for a long time.
294
00:20:21,910 --> 00:20:26,890
You'll be loving it just
for the rest of your lives.
295
00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:32,500
Someday you'll want to stop,
but you won't be able to.
296
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:37,750
Your gums'll start
hurting, start bleeding.
297
00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:41,880
They'll wear down and show
the bottoms of your teeth.
298
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,890
Then your teeth will fall out.
299
00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:46,740
You'll cry.
300
00:20:46,740 --> 00:20:50,960
[CHUCKLES] But you won't stop.
301
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,730
You'll just keep on
dipping, and packing,
302
00:20:54,730 --> 00:20:56,940
and packing, and dipping.
303
00:20:56,940 --> 00:21:00,950
Your mouth will start
hurting, start burning.
304
00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:02,040
It'll grow.
305
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,300
It'll get out of shape.
306
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:07,710
And you'll go to one of
them big city doctors
307
00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:11,630
and he'll cut half
your face off.
308
00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:13,260
Now it'll happen.
309
00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:16,200
It'll kill you, sorry as shit.
310
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,000
[LAUGHING]
311
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:27,080
But in your death, it'll
still be in your mouths.
312
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,500
[LAUGHING]
313
00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:40,790
For your sake, I
hope it happens fast.
314
00:21:40,790 --> 00:21:45,120
It's dark times a coming.
315
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:48,010
No long wait.
316
00:21:48,010 --> 00:21:50,720
Just around the corner.
317
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,000
You'll see.
318
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,640
You'll see.
319
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,230
Look, studies prove it.
320
00:21:57,230 --> 00:21:58,300
No.
321
00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:00,410
Listen, one ounce
has more protein
322
00:22:00,410 --> 00:22:01,780
than a five ounce t-bone.
323
00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:02,920
Sure.
324
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,410
It's good for your skin.
325
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:07,370
It's a natural
amphetamine and, uh, I
326
00:22:07,370 --> 00:22:10,190
have it on good authority
that it tastes exactly
327
00:22:10,190 --> 00:22:11,870
like a pineapple daiquiri.
328
00:22:11,870 --> 00:22:13,940
OK, I'll try it tonight.
329
00:22:13,940 --> 00:22:15,810
But if I don't like it,
it'll be the last time.
330
00:22:15,810 --> 00:22:17,280
Yeah!
331
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,630
Come on, let's take a break.
332
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:22,520
I thought you were in a
hurry to get to the campsite?
333
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,410
Come on, Wilbur.
We're not marching for town.
334
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:25,720
Give us a fucking break.
335
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,740
Yeah, we don't want
to get too tired.
336
00:22:27,740 --> 00:22:29,510
Well, what do you say
we take a little nap?
337
00:22:29,510 --> 00:22:32,300
Ooh, what do you say
we take a big nap, baby?
338
00:22:32,300 --> 00:22:34,590
You know, I understand
you have to exercise
339
00:22:34,590 --> 00:22:35,840
your manly hydraulics.
340
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,340
But, uh, if you ever want
to get to the campsite,
341
00:22:38,340 --> 00:22:40,080
you better come
on down the trail.
342
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,350
What's the matter with
this place, since it's here?
343
00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:45,800
Yeah, it's a lot closer
than anywhere else.
344
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,700
WILBUR: This place
is beaver shit, man!
345
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,500
Besides, the place
I'm taking you to
346
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:53,690
is nicer than a debutante's
ass shining in the moonlight.
347
00:22:53,690 --> 00:22:55,160
Yeah, if it's still there.
348
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,690
I'm sure it's still there.
349
00:22:56,690 --> 00:23:00,040
My dad used to camp there when
he was knee high to a piss ant.
350
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,040
Besides, that's, uh, where
my dad first nailed my mom.
351
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,880
Wilbur, who told you that?
352
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:05,710
My grandpa.
353
00:23:05,710 --> 00:23:08,580
Ah, yes, sweet
redneck memories.
354
00:23:08,580 --> 00:23:09,970
Anyway, you're gonna
love this place.
355
00:23:09,970 --> 00:23:13,850
It's a dynamite camping spot,
and it's got a pond to piss in.
356
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:15,200
Oh, sounds wonderful.
357
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,820
Yeah, when you see
it you'll wonder why
358
00:23:16,820 --> 00:23:18,810
you ever went anywhere else.
359
00:23:18,810 --> 00:23:21,220
Huh, I'm beginning to wonder
why I ever wanted to go here.
360
00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:24,300
Oh, blow it out your ass.
361
00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:25,200
[FARTS]
362
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,240
- Damn, [INAUDIBLE].
- Come on.
363
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,080
We better get going, you know,
before the trees start dying.
364
00:23:37,460 --> 00:23:40,910
Soldier, front and center, now!
365
00:23:40,910 --> 00:23:42,800
You lost the barrel.
366
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,040
Have you lost your mind?
367
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,430
Uh...
368
00:23:45,430 --> 00:23:47,110
Do you know what's
in that barrel?
369
00:23:47,110 --> 00:23:48,980
Uh, but...
370
00:23:48,980 --> 00:23:50,320
Do you know where you lost it?
371
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:51,750
Uh, yes, sir.
372
00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:55,100
Well, Robinson, why
don't you go pick it up?
373
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:57,500
Well, sir, there's this fat
redneck elephant with a gun.
374
00:23:57,500 --> 00:23:59,800
I mean, this fat redneck
with an elephant gun.
375
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,540
Run, son!
376
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:04,750
Unless you want your ass
hanging in the stockade,
377
00:24:04,750 --> 00:24:07,710
you better get your ass back out
there and get me that barrel.
378
00:24:07,710 --> 00:24:08,500
Uh, yes, sir.
379
00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:09,930
Can I take [INAUDIBLE], sir?
380
00:24:09,930 --> 00:24:12,960
Robinson, for what's
in that barrel,
381
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,240
you can take the whole
motherfucking army.
382
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,120
Robinson, where's your blouse?
383
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,720
In the jeep, sir.
384
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:28,110
You're a disgrace to
the uniform, Robinson.
385
00:24:28,110 --> 00:24:29,660
Dismissed!
386
00:24:29,660 --> 00:24:32,170
Yes, sir.
387
00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:34,160
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
388
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:47,180
Well I'll be damned.
389
00:25:47,180 --> 00:25:48,070
You said it.
390
00:25:48,070 --> 00:25:50,850
Here it is.
391
00:25:50,850 --> 00:25:53,770
LISA: (SARCASTICALLY)
Well this is really nice.
392
00:25:53,770 --> 00:25:56,120
THERESA: Ground
looks comfortable.
393
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:57,930
ANDY: There's nice shade.
394
00:25:57,930 --> 00:25:59,500
WILBUR: Yeah, and
a pond to piss in.
395
00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:02,270
LISA: It looks like a
clay based sinkhole.
396
00:26:02,270 --> 00:26:03,770
Come on, let's set up.
397
00:26:08,420 --> 00:26:11,240
Well, all done, boys.
398
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,550
Well, gotta go.
399
00:26:14,550 --> 00:26:16,570
Where are you going?
400
00:26:16,570 --> 00:26:18,420
I'm going fishing.
401
00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:19,590
Got worms?
402
00:26:19,590 --> 00:26:21,230
Yeah, but I'm going anyway.
403
00:26:21,230 --> 00:26:22,470
Now wait a minute, boys.
404
00:26:22,470 --> 00:26:24,760
As I seem to
recollect, Elly May,
405
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,990
it's your turn to
do the delivering.
406
00:26:26,990 --> 00:26:27,750
But, Pa!
407
00:26:27,750 --> 00:26:29,200
Shut up, hog bowl.
408
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,530
Yeah, opossum nut.
409
00:26:30,530 --> 00:26:34,130
Yeah, turtle, uh...
410
00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:35,290
But, Pa, that's
going to take me
411
00:26:35,290 --> 00:26:36,680
all night to deliver all this.
412
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,180
Quit your belly aching,
Elly May, or else
413
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:41,550
I ain't going to save
any mash for you.
414
00:26:41,550 --> 00:26:44,380
I'm just going to save it for
myself, and for your brothers,
415
00:26:44,380 --> 00:26:45,710
and for Ma.
416
00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:47,790
Maybe even some for Porky.
417
00:26:47,790 --> 00:26:49,660
Shouldn't give any to Ma.
418
00:26:49,660 --> 00:26:51,610
You know that stuff
makes her crazy.
419
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,770
You quit your sassing, boy.
420
00:26:53,770 --> 00:26:55,380
I pulled you out of
your mother and I'll
421
00:26:55,380 --> 00:26:56,860
shove you right back in.
422
00:26:56,860 --> 00:26:59,920
Now you get in that
truck and you skedaddle.
423
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:01,810
Yes, Pa.
424
00:27:01,810 --> 00:27:04,070
And no drinking and driving!
425
00:27:04,070 --> 00:27:04,920
Yes, Pa.
426
00:27:08,350 --> 00:27:09,780
[LAUGHING]
427
00:27:16,130 --> 00:27:16,830
Woo!
428
00:27:21,540 --> 00:27:23,610
Shit the bed, this
is great, Wilbur!
429
00:27:23,610 --> 00:27:26,100
See?
I told you.
430
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:28,110
But this water sure is cold.
431
00:27:28,110 --> 00:27:29,820
Woo.
432
00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:32,150
And it's deep, too.
433
00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:34,650
Boy, I'd sure like to knock
the bottom out of that.
434
00:27:34,650 --> 00:27:37,290
Yeah, bottom, front, sides.
435
00:27:37,290 --> 00:27:39,760
You never know, she might
turn out to be a nympho.
436
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:43,120
One who gets turned
on by big campfires.
437
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,260
Well I got a log
she can start with.
438
00:27:55,460 --> 00:27:57,130
Ah.
439
00:27:57,130 --> 00:27:58,920
Where's a good place
to take a shit?
440
00:28:08,850 --> 00:28:10,890
Hi.
441
00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:13,560
Yo.
442
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,990
Going far?
443
00:28:15,990 --> 00:28:18,740
Barbershop.
444
00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:20,560
Barbershop, eh?
445
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:21,690
You work in that place?
446
00:28:21,690 --> 00:28:23,090
Yeah.
Yeah, I work there.
447
00:28:23,090 --> 00:28:23,880
I'm the shaver.
448
00:28:28,030 --> 00:28:30,620
You give people shaves?
449
00:28:30,620 --> 00:28:32,190
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
450
00:28:32,190 --> 00:28:34,170
Look, look.
451
00:28:34,170 --> 00:28:36,800
See?
452
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,230
Hey, that-that's pretty good.
453
00:28:39,230 --> 00:28:41,870
That's good.
454
00:28:41,870 --> 00:28:45,220
You know, I heard about them,
uh, them new electric shavers.
455
00:28:45,220 --> 00:28:47,650
No!
No, no, they're no good.
456
00:28:47,650 --> 00:28:49,770
They're no good.
Safety reasons.
457
00:28:49,770 --> 00:28:51,490
We're the best.
458
00:28:51,490 --> 00:28:54,730
Get a real good close shave.
459
00:28:54,730 --> 00:28:57,170
Hey, you need a shave?
460
00:28:57,170 --> 00:28:58,700
My brother, he gives hair cuts.
461
00:28:58,700 --> 00:29:01,390
He gives them real good.
462
00:29:01,390 --> 00:29:05,220
We'll give you shave
and a haircut, for free.
463
00:29:05,220 --> 00:29:08,190
Uh, I don't need no shave
or haircut, but I tell you,
464
00:29:08,190 --> 00:29:10,750
if I need one, I'll
come right to you.
465
00:29:10,750 --> 00:29:12,530
[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]
466
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,240
I got this razor.
467
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,240
Put that thing away, boy.
468
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,760
It's a good razor.
469
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,860
BILLY BOB: Hey what...
What you doing?
470
00:29:27,860 --> 00:29:29,490
Hey, cut that... hey.
471
00:29:29,490 --> 00:29:30,950
Hey, don't do that in my truck!
472
00:29:30,950 --> 00:29:33,440
Holy shit, man!
Oh!
473
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:34,930
Oh, god!
474
00:29:40,420 --> 00:29:43,290
You grubby god
damn son of a bitch!
475
00:29:43,290 --> 00:29:46,070
You'll never get a free
shave out of me, you asshole!
476
00:29:57,030 --> 00:29:59,210
That's the last hitch
hiker I ever pick up.
477
00:30:16,740 --> 00:30:19,050
It's party time.
LISA: Woo.
478
00:30:19,050 --> 00:30:21,620
THERESA: Hey.
479
00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:22,430
LISA: Colombian?
480
00:30:22,430 --> 00:30:24,380
ANDY: Jamaican?
481
00:30:24,380 --> 00:30:26,480
Only the best.
482
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:27,940
New Jersey.
483
00:30:27,940 --> 00:30:29,440
THERESA: New Jersey?
BOB: What exit?
484
00:30:33,410 --> 00:30:37,930
11 cases of swill
gone to market, boys.
485
00:30:37,930 --> 00:30:41,970
This still's sure better.
486
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:43,350
Now's our turn.
487
00:30:46,060 --> 00:30:47,780
Give me the first drink, Pa.
488
00:30:47,780 --> 00:30:50,280
Yeah, Pa, let's get loose.
489
00:30:53,530 --> 00:30:56,940
I'm rolling you a
Tennessee torpedo.
490
00:30:56,940 --> 00:30:58,620
Man, that shit
looks like cut grass.
491
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:07,810
Boys, I got a deep down feeling
this batch is going to be awful
492
00:31:07,810 --> 00:31:08,750
special.
493
00:31:08,750 --> 00:31:10,010
To our new still!
494
00:31:13,220 --> 00:31:14,190
[GAGGING]
495
00:31:16,620 --> 00:31:18,070
It tastes like fire, Pa!
496
00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:23,000
Hey, that's bigger
than Lisa's dildo.
497
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,330
LISA: Yeah and five times
the size of your dick.
498
00:31:25,330 --> 00:31:26,720
ANDY: Come on, fire it up, man.
499
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,260
Yeah, let's get
naked and smoke.
500
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:34,130
THERESA: Woo hoo!
501
00:31:47,290 --> 00:31:49,740
I like knockers.
502
00:31:49,740 --> 00:31:51,670
Yeah, I like knockers, too.
503
00:31:57,140 --> 00:31:58,760
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
504
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,320
Somebody's knocking.
505
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,350
Yeah, I like knockers, too.
506
00:32:04,350 --> 00:32:06,070
No, shit weed.
507
00:32:06,070 --> 00:32:08,270
There's someone
knocking at the door!
508
00:32:08,270 --> 00:32:08,970
Oh.
509
00:32:14,810 --> 00:32:15,790
Hey, Elly.
510
00:32:15,790 --> 00:32:17,210
Hey, Smerd.
511
00:32:17,210 --> 00:32:18,010
How you doing?
512
00:32:18,010 --> 00:32:19,110
Got some shine for you.
513
00:32:19,110 --> 00:32:19,840
Great!
514
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,370
You want to come in and
watch some knockers?
515
00:32:22,370 --> 00:32:24,720
Uh, oh no thanks.
516
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,460
I got a couple of my own.
517
00:32:26,460 --> 00:32:28,140
But I'll see you later.
OK.
518
00:32:31,140 --> 00:32:32,140
Here, Berd.
519
00:32:32,140 --> 00:32:34,000
Ah, thanks, Smerd.
520
00:32:39,420 --> 00:32:40,370
[COUGHING]
521
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:50,060
I-I feel funny, Pa.
522
00:32:50,060 --> 00:32:52,230
I feel a bit strange myself.
523
00:32:52,230 --> 00:32:54,700
[LAUGHING]
524
00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:55,690
[LAUGHING]
525
00:32:57,660 --> 00:32:58,650
[COUGHING]
526
00:32:58,650 --> 00:33:00,130
[LAUGHING]
527
00:33:05,570 --> 00:33:07,050
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
528
00:33:14,950 --> 00:33:16,930
Oh, shit.
529
00:33:16,930 --> 00:33:18,900
Did you treat this weed?
530
00:33:18,900 --> 00:33:20,610
Only with respect, baby.
531
00:33:20,610 --> 00:33:22,100
[GROUP LAUGHING]
532
00:33:25,350 --> 00:33:28,280
[LAUGHING]
533
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,280
WILBUR: Yeah!
Yeah!
534
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:31,270
Aliens!
535
00:33:31,270 --> 00:33:32,270
Yeah!
536
00:33:32,270 --> 00:33:34,260
[LAUGHING]
537
00:33:34,260 --> 00:33:37,250
Aliens!
538
00:33:37,250 --> 00:33:40,730
Aliens!
[INAUDIBLE]
539
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,210
She says, three inches?
540
00:33:47,210 --> 00:33:50,650
And I said, yeah,
from the floor.
541
00:33:50,650 --> 00:33:52,630
[HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER]
542
00:33:52,630 --> 00:33:54,610
[LAUGHING]
543
00:34:12,970 --> 00:34:17,930
I think... I think it's...
Thinking liquor sipping dogs,
544
00:34:17,930 --> 00:34:18,920
bro.
545
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,900
[LAUGHTER]
546
00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:28,340
[GASPING]
547
00:34:28,340 --> 00:34:30,860
ANDY: And I just about
took a shit myself,
548
00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:34,430
when up walks Timothy Berry.
549
00:34:34,430 --> 00:34:38,150
[LAUGHING]
550
00:34:38,150 --> 00:34:41,150
[GROWLING]
551
00:34:41,150 --> 00:34:43,150
[ECHOING LAUGHTER]
552
00:34:58,620 --> 00:35:03,610
ANDY: Hey, Wilbur, couldn't you
get something better than that?
553
00:35:03,610 --> 00:35:05,100
[HEAVY BREATHING]
554
00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:06,600
[HEARTBEAT]
555
00:35:10,090 --> 00:35:16,080
[GROWLING]
556
00:35:33,550 --> 00:35:35,040
[HEARTBEAT]
557
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,040
[ECHOING VOICES]
558
00:35:40,030 --> 00:35:41,530
[LAUGHTER]
559
00:35:41,530 --> 00:35:43,530
[GROWLING]
560
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,390
[ECHOING VOICES ON TV]
561
00:36:35,390 --> 00:36:36,380
[KNOCKING]
562
00:36:40,370 --> 00:36:41,070
Hi, Miss Ashley.
563
00:36:41,070 --> 00:36:43,000
Lamb's sakes, Elly
May, I expected
564
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,950
you to be here last night.
565
00:36:44,950 --> 00:36:48,030
Well, uh, we're a little
bit behind and, um,
566
00:36:48,030 --> 00:36:48,830
and we got a new recipe.
567
00:36:48,830 --> 00:36:51,710
And, uh, and it's green.
568
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:54,360
I guess that means
I get a discount.
569
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,250
Oh, I don't know about
no discount, cuz uh,
570
00:36:57,250 --> 00:36:59,780
uh, cuz we built a new still.
571
00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:01,550
Oh.
572
00:37:01,550 --> 00:37:03,130
Well, all right this time.
573
00:37:03,130 --> 00:37:05,110
But I'll tell you
Elly May, if you're
574
00:37:05,110 --> 00:37:06,880
going to be late
like this next time,
575
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,610
I'm going to do my
buying from Ferd Mertz.
576
00:37:09,610 --> 00:37:11,570
Oh you don't want
to buy it from him.
577
00:37:11,570 --> 00:37:13,390
Besides, you'll
really like this.
578
00:37:13,390 --> 00:37:14,900
OK, here you are Elly May.
579
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:15,800
Thank you.
580
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:17,390
Bye, bye.
Fester.
581
00:37:17,390 --> 00:37:19,660
Fester, honey, look,
your bath can wait.
582
00:37:19,660 --> 00:37:20,840
Look what's here.
583
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:22,270
Look.
584
00:37:22,270 --> 00:37:25,090
Look what we got.
585
00:37:25,090 --> 00:37:26,240
Here.
586
00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:27,940
Here you are, honey.
587
00:37:27,940 --> 00:37:29,130
Look, look, look.
588
00:37:29,130 --> 00:37:30,310
Here you are.
589
00:37:30,310 --> 00:37:31,070
Drink up.
590
00:37:31,070 --> 00:37:32,540
Down the hatch.
591
00:37:37,820 --> 00:37:39,310
[CRYING]
592
00:39:05,090 --> 00:39:05,790
Ahh!
593
00:39:20,330 --> 00:39:22,330
[MUFFLED CRIES]
594
00:39:52,700 --> 00:39:54,200
Sally!
595
00:39:54,200 --> 00:40:02,810
[GROWLING] [GRUNTING]
596
00:40:02,810 --> 00:40:05,260
Sally!
Sally!
597
00:40:11,140 --> 00:40:19,340
- [GROWLING] [SNORTING]
- Sally!
598
00:40:24,230 --> 00:40:30,590
[HEAVY BREATHING]
599
00:40:30,590 --> 00:40:32,050
Sally!
600
00:40:32,050 --> 00:41:05,060
[GROWLING] [SLURPING]
601
00:41:05,060 --> 00:41:07,200
Oh, now what do we have here?
602
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:08,360
Uh... uh...
603
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,890
Now, now, what's a little
fillie like you doing
604
00:41:10,890 --> 00:41:15,550
in a place like this alone
in the wilderness all
605
00:41:15,550 --> 00:41:18,060
by yourself in the morning...
He-
606
00:41:18,060 --> 00:41:18,760
Alone?
607
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,500
He... he killed my friend.
608
00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:23,810
Now, now, now, now, a little
critter probably scared you.
609
00:41:23,810 --> 00:41:25,220
[GROWLING]
610
00:41:25,220 --> 00:41:27,410
Or maybe you were in shock.
That's it.
611
00:41:27,410 --> 00:41:29,060
Now the first aid
book says about shock,
612
00:41:29,060 --> 00:41:31,090
says the first thing we have to
do is loosen up your clothes.
613
00:41:31,090 --> 00:41:33,050
So here, let me... let me help
you loosen up your clothes.
614
00:41:33,050 --> 00:41:35,110
Now you just lay down here
and let old Ferd protect you.
615
00:41:35,110 --> 00:41:35,800
Ahh!
616
00:41:39,050 --> 00:41:40,750
Jethro, old boy!
617
00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:41,690
How you doing?
618
00:41:45,470 --> 00:41:48,760
Looking, uh, might
green around the gills.
619
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,260
[GROWLING]
620
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:55,270
Is this yours?
621
00:41:55,270 --> 00:42:05,550
[GROWLING]
622
00:42:05,550 --> 00:42:06,690
Here.
623
00:42:06,690 --> 00:42:19,330
[WHISTLING]
Ahh!
624
00:42:35,450 --> 00:43:09,880
[SLURPING] [BELCH]
625
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,180
Phew.
626
00:43:11,180 --> 00:43:13,720
Ooh, nelly, just what
I could use, a drink.
627
00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:19,140
Too bad it's this Clemsen jizz.
628
00:43:19,140 --> 00:43:21,110
Oh, mama said not to swear.
629
00:43:25,050 --> 00:43:27,510
Oh, sweet mama, take a bath.
630
00:43:27,510 --> 00:43:29,980
Ooh.
Ehh.
631
00:43:34,290 --> 00:43:38,220
Well I'll be dipped in hog
snot and perish the thought.
632
00:43:38,220 --> 00:43:40,670
That's their secret ingredient.
633
00:43:40,670 --> 00:43:43,050
Those nasty boys.
634
00:43:43,050 --> 00:43:44,820
Well at least I don't have
to put a bag over her head
635
00:43:44,820 --> 00:43:46,740
this time.
636
00:43:46,740 --> 00:43:50,370
Don't even think about that.
637
00:43:50,370 --> 00:43:52,030
I really need
myself a drink now.
638
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,880
Oh well, hope I don't go blind.
639
00:44:25,270 --> 00:44:28,440
Land sakes!
640
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:32,390
They got their nerve
lollygagging around all hours
641
00:44:32,390 --> 00:44:33,550
of the morning.
642
00:44:33,550 --> 00:44:35,080
They got a drunk on.
643
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,970
Boy they got that mash to town.
644
00:44:37,970 --> 00:44:41,190
I'll brown them!
645
00:44:41,190 --> 00:44:42,710
Sorry, Porky.
646
00:44:42,710 --> 00:44:45,420
Didn't mean to scare you none.
647
00:44:45,420 --> 00:44:48,130
You know you don't have
to worry about your bacon
648
00:44:48,130 --> 00:44:49,570
ending up in here.
649
00:44:49,570 --> 00:44:51,720
Not you.
650
00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:55,500
Let's mosey on down to the
still and give them men folk
651
00:44:55,500 --> 00:44:56,360
what for!
652
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,910
Hey, Andy, where's
Sally and Theresa?
653
00:45:10,910 --> 00:45:11,610
I don't know.
654
00:45:11,610 --> 00:45:14,340
I've been up a half hour
and I haven't seen them.
655
00:45:14,340 --> 00:45:15,430
What?
656
00:45:15,430 --> 00:45:16,580
What's going on?
657
00:45:16,580 --> 00:45:19,080
Theresa and Sally are missing.
658
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:20,080
Missing?
659
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:21,780
WILBUR: Oh, they're not missing.
660
00:45:21,780 --> 00:45:23,510
They just wandered
off somewhere.
661
00:45:23,510 --> 00:45:25,190
Well maybe somebody
should go look for them.
662
00:45:25,190 --> 00:45:27,980
I mean, they could
have gotten lost.
663
00:45:27,980 --> 00:45:29,250
They're not lost.
664
00:45:29,250 --> 00:45:30,350
Don't know what
they'd want to go
665
00:45:30,350 --> 00:45:32,050
off by themselves for anyway.
666
00:45:32,050 --> 00:45:35,050
Well maybe they're exploring.
667
00:45:35,050 --> 00:45:36,620
Maybe they're a
couple of damn dykes.
668
00:45:36,620 --> 00:45:38,540
Oh.
669
00:45:38,540 --> 00:45:40,570
Sure wish I were a Dutch boy.
670
00:45:40,570 --> 00:45:42,070
[WHISTLING]
671
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,120
Hey look, Ben, there's
Dad's moonshine.
672
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,150
Let's drink some.
673
00:45:57,150 --> 00:45:58,490
We'll get in trouble.
674
00:45:58,490 --> 00:45:59,190
It doesn't matter.
675
00:45:59,190 --> 00:46:00,740
No one's home and
he'll never know.
676
00:46:00,740 --> 00:46:02,460
All right, so you
could drink it first.
677
00:46:02,460 --> 00:46:03,690
No, I'm not going
to drink it first.
678
00:46:03,690 --> 00:46:05,670
You drink it first.
Are you chicken?
679
00:46:26,730 --> 00:46:28,220
[PIG SQUEALING]
680
00:46:28,220 --> 00:46:29,720
Jed?
681
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:31,210
Jethro!
682
00:46:31,210 --> 00:46:33,190
Junior!
Elly!
683
00:46:36,670 --> 00:46:39,160
Where'd them boys go, Porky?
684
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:43,500
They've been gone
since yesterday morn.
685
00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:47,120
Looks to me like they
finished a new batch.
686
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:50,770
And if'n I'm right, they built
themselves a new still, too.
687
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:10,720
I'll be dipped.
688
00:47:10,720 --> 00:47:13,820
This sure is some
powerful shine.
689
00:47:13,820 --> 00:47:15,800
And it's green.
690
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,410
Jed must've changed the recipe.
691
00:47:18,410 --> 00:47:22,810
If this stuff works like
it smells, Jed and the boys
692
00:47:22,810 --> 00:47:25,560
must be wandering on
a bender, they must.
693
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:29,710
Well, Porky, I think we
just better take his jar
694
00:47:29,710 --> 00:47:31,630
home before we sample it.
695
00:47:31,630 --> 00:47:32,760
Come on, let's go.
696
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,810
I'm hungry.
697
00:47:41,810 --> 00:47:44,780
And the first thing I'm going to
do when we find these girls is
698
00:47:44,780 --> 00:47:48,660
give Theresa a real good
ass chewing for not fixing
699
00:47:48,660 --> 00:47:50,150
breakfast the way she promised.
700
00:47:50,150 --> 00:47:53,390
Oh this is a fine time to
be thinking about breakfast.
701
00:47:53,390 --> 00:47:55,110
They must be
pretty far away not
702
00:47:55,110 --> 00:47:56,420
to hear us yelling for them.
703
00:47:56,420 --> 00:47:58,710
They must really be lost.
You know what weird?
704
00:47:58,710 --> 00:48:01,420
It's like everything looks
like it's dying around here.
705
00:48:01,420 --> 00:48:04,060
Well if they're playing
opossum to try to scare us,
706
00:48:04,060 --> 00:48:07,090
I... oh, Lisa, don't look.
Don't look.
707
00:48:07,090 --> 00:48:08,030
- What?
- Don't look.
708
00:48:08,030 --> 00:48:08,950
What?
709
00:48:08,950 --> 00:48:09,860
What?
710
00:48:09,860 --> 00:48:10,780
What is it?
711
00:48:10,780 --> 00:48:12,160
What is it?
712
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:13,420
Oh, god, is that a person?
713
00:48:13,420 --> 00:48:14,910
BOB: It's... it's...
714
00:48:14,910 --> 00:48:15,910
Let me go!
715
00:48:15,910 --> 00:48:17,400
BOB: Theresa!
716
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,390
What happened to her?
LISA: Ahh!
717
00:48:19,390 --> 00:48:20,390
She's dead, man.
718
00:48:20,390 --> 00:48:24,370
She's fucking dead.
719
00:48:24,370 --> 00:48:27,360
ANDY: What happened
to her own head?
720
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:29,350
What was she fucking doing?
721
00:48:29,350 --> 00:48:30,350
Ahh!
722
00:48:30,350 --> 00:48:31,840
Look, man!
723
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,330
Maybe that... maybe
that's not Theresa.
724
00:48:34,330 --> 00:48:36,820
She's wearing fucking
designer jeans.
725
00:48:36,820 --> 00:48:37,820
ANDY: And that's my t-shirt.
726
00:48:37,820 --> 00:48:40,310
Well what happened to her!
727
00:48:40,310 --> 00:48:41,300
WILBUR: Maybe it was a bear.
728
00:48:41,300 --> 00:48:42,800
What is that!
729
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:44,790
What kind of bear
would do this, man?
730
00:48:44,790 --> 00:48:46,780
ANDY: Holy shit.
731
00:48:46,780 --> 00:48:50,270
She's nothing but
a fucking stain.
732
00:48:50,270 --> 00:48:52,750
Oh, god, where's Sally?
733
00:48:52,750 --> 00:48:53,750
ANDY: Oh, Sally, that's right.
734
00:48:53,750 --> 00:48:54,750
We've got to find her!
735
00:48:54,750 --> 00:48:56,240
We've got to find Sally.
736
00:48:56,240 --> 00:48:58,730
(CRYING) We've got
to bury Theresa.
737
00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:04,380
WILBUR: Theresa's gone
now, but that... that
738
00:49:04,380 --> 00:49:06,200
doesn't mean that Sally's dead.
739
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:07,760
You know?
740
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,220
If it was a bear, it might
return to it's kill area.
741
00:49:10,220 --> 00:49:13,430
But either way, I don't
think we should split up.
742
00:49:13,430 --> 00:49:15,870
If you want to stay,
you stay alone.
743
00:49:15,870 --> 00:49:18,470
So what's it going to be?
744
00:49:18,470 --> 00:49:21,510
Fuck you, Wilbur,
we're going to bury her.
745
00:49:21,510 --> 00:49:23,010
[CRYING]
746
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:49,950
[WOMAN CRYING]
747
00:49:53,940 --> 00:49:54,940
[KNOCKING]
748
00:49:54,940 --> 00:49:56,440
JAKE: Come in.
749
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,430
[MUFFLED CRIES]
750
00:50:11,410 --> 00:50:12,910
Hi, Elly.
751
00:50:12,910 --> 00:50:14,400
Where you been?
752
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,010
What took you so long?
753
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,550
Sorry, but, uh, we were
running a little late tonight.
754
00:50:21,550 --> 00:50:26,520
And, uh, tell you what, we got
some special stuff this time.
755
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,020
You stay right there.
756
00:50:29,020 --> 00:50:33,750
I'll have to get some money
and I'll be right back.
757
00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:35,750
[WOMAN CRYING]
758
00:51:30,530 --> 00:51:34,040
Here's your money.
759
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:36,710
Thanks, Jake.
760
00:51:36,710 --> 00:51:38,310
Here you go.
761
00:51:38,310 --> 00:51:40,750
Have a nice day.
762
00:51:40,750 --> 00:51:45,080
[LAUGHING]
763
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:48,900
[MUFFLED CRIES]
764
00:51:48,900 --> 00:51:49,870
WILBUR: Sally!
765
00:51:49,870 --> 00:51:52,310
LISA: Sal!
766
00:51:52,310 --> 00:51:53,790
Sally?
767
00:51:53,790 --> 00:51:54,490
Sally!
768
00:51:54,490 --> 00:51:56,580
Hey guys, check this out.
769
00:51:56,580 --> 00:51:57,980
Is that a still?
Huh.
770
00:51:57,980 --> 00:51:59,030
Sure is, man.
771
00:51:59,030 --> 00:52:01,900
They been making mash out
here since time began.
772
00:52:01,900 --> 00:52:04,850
Oh, man, this is too weird.
773
00:52:04,850 --> 00:52:06,670
You guys do what you want to do.
774
00:52:06,670 --> 00:52:08,990
I'm going over here and
I'm going to freak out.
775
00:52:08,990 --> 00:52:11,200
LISA: Bob, get
your shit together.
776
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:12,580
Look, to hell with this thing.
777
00:52:12,580 --> 00:52:16,380
We have to find Sally.
778
00:52:16,380 --> 00:52:18,300
Oh, shit.
Shit.
779
00:52:18,300 --> 00:52:20,100
- What is it now?
- Shit.
780
00:52:20,100 --> 00:52:21,300
Shit.
Shit.
781
00:52:21,300 --> 00:52:22,790
Shit.
Shit.
782
00:52:22,790 --> 00:52:24,790
What?
What is it?
783
00:52:24,790 --> 00:52:26,790
Oh, shit.
784
00:52:26,790 --> 00:52:28,320
It's Sally.
785
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:30,680
I'm drinking this shit.
786
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:31,570
Are you nuts?
787
00:52:31,570 --> 00:52:33,740
That stuff could kill you.
788
00:52:33,740 --> 00:52:35,540
WILBUR: Man, this bear
is getting around, man.
789
00:52:35,540 --> 00:52:36,820
We gotta get out of here.
790
00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:37,750
LISA: Wilbur's right.
791
00:52:37,750 --> 00:52:39,300
If there is a wild
bear around here,
792
00:52:39,300 --> 00:52:41,020
we've got to get a move on.
793
00:52:41,020 --> 00:52:42,470
Let's beat feet.
794
00:52:42,470 --> 00:52:43,560
I don't think it's a bear.
795
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:44,450
What?
796
00:52:44,450 --> 00:52:45,630
I don't think it's a bear.
797
00:52:45,630 --> 00:52:46,410
Look, geek...
798
00:52:46,410 --> 00:52:48,430
Look, blow me, moron.
799
00:52:48,430 --> 00:52:50,770
Listen, this barrel
is still warm
800
00:52:50,770 --> 00:52:52,660
and these tracks around
here are still fresh.
801
00:52:52,660 --> 00:52:54,530
If there was a bear
around here, why didn't it
802
00:52:54,530 --> 00:52:55,950
get the owner of this still?
803
00:52:55,950 --> 00:52:58,170
Why aren't there
any bear tracks?
804
00:52:58,170 --> 00:53:00,640
You mean people did this?
805
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,290
Wilbur, you're the
damn mountain man.
806
00:53:03,290 --> 00:53:05,080
Why didn't you figure
any of this out?
807
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:08,410
What are you doing, feeding us
to your cousins or something?
808
00:53:08,410 --> 00:53:09,850
You're setting us up.
809
00:53:09,850 --> 00:53:11,380
That's what you're doing.
You're setting us up.
810
00:53:11,380 --> 00:53:12,100
Hey, fuck you, Bob.
811
00:53:12,100 --> 00:53:13,880
I haven't been here in 10 years.
812
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:15,330
You're setting us up, man.
813
00:53:15,330 --> 00:53:17,500
You killed Theresa
and you killed Sally.
814
00:53:17,500 --> 00:53:18,380
Get off!
815
00:53:18,380 --> 00:53:19,260
LISA: Stop it!
816
00:53:19,260 --> 00:53:21,080
Stop it!
ANDY: Shut up!
817
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:21,900
Shut the fuck up!
818
00:53:21,900 --> 00:53:22,670
Look what it says here.
819
00:53:22,670 --> 00:53:27,520
It says, Caution, US military
chemical warfare nuclear waste.
820
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:28,750
Use no hooks.
821
00:53:28,750 --> 00:53:31,630
You mean these rednecks
are drinking that shit?
822
00:53:31,630 --> 00:53:33,630
No, I don't think anyone
could be that stupid,
823
00:53:33,630 --> 00:53:35,460
but I think the residue
from this barrel
824
00:53:35,460 --> 00:53:37,180
was enough to set
things in motion.
825
00:53:37,180 --> 00:53:39,700
Little dab will do here,
if you know what I mean.
826
00:53:39,700 --> 00:53:40,500
Better than you think.
827
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:42,540
WILBUR: (ECHOING) What are
you talking about, Andy?
828
00:53:42,540 --> 00:53:45,140
ANDY: (ECHOING) Oh,
you guys are thick.
829
00:53:45,140 --> 00:53:48,050
Look, there were
chemicals in this barrel.
830
00:53:48,050 --> 00:53:50,820
The chemicals got
in to the moonshine.
831
00:53:50,820 --> 00:53:52,320
You'd think that
it would kill them,
832
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:53,710
but my guess is
that it just turned
833
00:53:53,710 --> 00:53:55,280
them into horrible maniacs.
834
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:57,900
Y-You mean that
th-this moonshine...
835
00:53:57,900 --> 00:54:03,290
That's right... monster mash.
836
00:54:03,290 --> 00:54:05,250
Ooh.
837
00:54:05,250 --> 00:54:06,310
[COUNTRY MUSIC]
838
00:54:48,090 --> 00:54:50,580
Tyrone, I can't believe
you lost that barrel.
839
00:54:50,580 --> 00:54:52,520
I was supposed to go to
the Pink Hippo tonight,
840
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,850
but now my day's ruined
because of your stupidity.
841
00:54:55,850 --> 00:54:57,270
Fuck you.
842
00:54:57,270 --> 00:55:00,230
Hey, Ty, we going to
get to shoot anybody?
843
00:55:00,230 --> 00:55:01,650
There's a distinct possibility.
844
00:55:01,650 --> 00:55:03,910
You mean there's
going to be fighting?
845
00:55:03,910 --> 00:55:05,240
Ty, how could you?
846
00:55:05,240 --> 00:55:07,270
What if I break a nail?
847
00:55:07,270 --> 00:55:08,230
Fuck you.
848
00:55:11,090 --> 00:55:13,900
Well, what should we do now?
849
00:55:13,900 --> 00:55:14,730
Well that's up to you.
850
00:55:14,730 --> 00:55:16,230
We've got to get the
hell out of here.
851
00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:17,540
Fuck that, man.
852
00:55:17,540 --> 00:55:19,610
I'm not following this
son of a bitch anywhere.
853
00:55:19,610 --> 00:55:20,380
Stop it, Bob.
854
00:55:20,380 --> 00:55:21,510
I ain't taking no
more of this shit.
855
00:55:21,510 --> 00:55:22,760
Why don't you deal with
your own fucking problems?
856
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:23,930
You're my problem, bastard!
857
00:55:40,850 --> 00:55:41,680
Stop it.
858
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:42,710
Stop it!
859
00:55:42,710 --> 00:55:43,750
Stop it!
860
00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:45,810
Stop it!
Stop it!
861
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,510
I don't believe you two.
862
00:55:56,510 --> 00:55:58,040
What the hell is your problem?
863
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:01,130
We have to stick together, not
try and pull each other apart.
864
00:56:01,130 --> 00:56:02,390
I don't believe this!
865
00:56:02,390 --> 00:56:04,990
We're in the middle of
a crisis situation here
866
00:56:04,990 --> 00:56:07,600
and I'm watching the
battle of the macho jerks!
867
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:09,240
Well let me tell you something.
868
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:12,460
I don't care how macho
or how strong you are,
869
00:56:12,460 --> 00:56:16,400
it's not going to do one
think to protect us from this.
870
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:20,780
Now Bob, I don't know what the
hell your problem is, but you
871
00:56:20,780 --> 00:56:22,330
better pull it
together if you don't
872
00:56:22,330 --> 00:56:24,870
want to end up as tomorrow's
blue plate special.
873
00:56:24,870 --> 00:56:26,360
And you.
874
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:28,310
You better come
to the realization
875
00:56:28,310 --> 00:56:29,850
that you have been
away from home way
876
00:56:29,850 --> 00:56:33,710
too long to know what the
hell's going on around here.
877
00:56:33,710 --> 00:56:36,540
Now I think we ought to just
turn everything over to Andy,
878
00:56:36,540 --> 00:56:39,370
since he seems to be the
only one of you assholes
879
00:56:39,370 --> 00:56:42,130
who's still thinking clearly.
880
00:56:42,130 --> 00:56:46,740
I am right on the edge of
clawing my eyes out and-and
881
00:56:46,740 --> 00:56:50,500
and slitting my wrists.
882
00:56:50,500 --> 00:56:56,380
Now Andy, tell me, what
are we going to do?
883
00:57:01,780 --> 00:57:02,760
[GROWLING]
884
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:06,230
- Oh, no!
- Aah!
885
00:57:06,230 --> 00:57:13,310
[GROWLING]
886
00:57:13,310 --> 00:57:17,260
[SCREAMING]
887
00:57:17,260 --> 00:57:19,230
[SCREAMS ECHOING]
888
00:57:44,190 --> 00:57:49,140
[CRYING]
889
00:57:49,140 --> 00:57:54,090
[GAGGING]
890
00:57:54,090 --> 00:58:02,510
[WHIMPERING]
891
00:58:02,510 --> 00:58:05,480
Any more fucking bright ideas?
892
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:07,240
BOB: Well, we got
to do something.
893
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,640
Oh, god, I wish I was home.
894
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:11,240
(HIGH PITCHED VOICE)
There's no place like home.
895
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:12,550
Toto, Toto!
896
00:58:12,550 --> 00:58:14,410
And your little dog, too!
897
00:58:14,410 --> 00:58:19,110
[CACKLES] [BARKS] [PANTING]
898
00:58:19,110 --> 00:58:20,840
WILBUR: Chill out, Bob.
899
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:23,350
We sure as shit
can't stay here, man.
900
00:58:23,350 --> 00:58:25,600
Besides, there might be
more of these things.
901
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:29,090
Look, there's a mineshaft
over that clearing over there.
902
00:58:29,090 --> 00:58:30,190
We could be safe there.
903
00:58:30,190 --> 00:58:32,150
Underground?
904
00:58:32,150 --> 00:58:35,090
Underground.
905
00:58:35,090 --> 00:58:38,090
Come on, let's go.
906
00:58:38,090 --> 00:58:39,140
Get your shit together.
907
00:58:39,140 --> 00:58:40,150
Give me a hand here.
908
00:58:40,150 --> 00:58:41,940
What are we taking him for?
909
00:58:41,940 --> 00:58:43,910
Look, just grab a leg
and I'll tell you later.
910
00:58:43,910 --> 00:58:46,160
Come on.
Come on.
911
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:46,980
Pull.
912
00:58:46,980 --> 00:58:47,680
That's it.
913
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,240
This isn't so bad.
914
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:52,790
Come on, Toto.
915
00:58:52,790 --> 00:58:53,490
Atta boy.
916
00:58:53,490 --> 00:58:54,300
Come on.
917
00:58:54,300 --> 00:58:55,480
Atta boy.
Heel, heel!
918
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:56,180
Walkies.
919
00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:01,140
WILBUR: Shit.
920
00:59:05,060 --> 00:59:06,560
Shit!
921
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,560
(WHIMPERING) I got it!
922
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:09,560
I got it!
923
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:10,910
Ow!
924
00:59:10,910 --> 00:59:11,640
WILBUR: What was that?
925
00:59:16,540 --> 00:59:18,990
It's a hurricane lamp.
926
00:59:18,990 --> 00:59:20,330
WILBUR: Well, go
ahead and light it.
927
00:59:24,990 --> 00:59:27,250
Ew, this thing's filthy.
928
00:59:30,130 --> 00:59:32,740
Ah, shiny.
929
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:39,010
Well, we've got light.
930
00:59:39,010 --> 00:59:39,830
Very good, Bob.
931
00:59:43,550 --> 00:59:46,420
OK, now what?
932
00:59:46,420 --> 00:59:51,690
Bob, do an autopsy
on this thing.
933
00:59:51,690 --> 00:59:53,690
What?
934
00:59:53,690 --> 00:59:54,760
No way!
935
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:56,290
WILBUR: Hey come on, man.
You're pre med.
936
00:59:56,290 --> 00:59:57,400
I'm pre vet!
937
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:58,170
What's the difference?
938
00:59:58,170 --> 00:59:59,980
I do autopsies on cats, man!
939
00:59:59,980 --> 01:00:03,950
Well think of it as a big cat.
940
01:00:03,950 --> 01:00:05,450
All right.
941
01:00:05,450 --> 01:00:06,150
All right.
942
01:00:06,150 --> 01:00:08,290
Out with it.
943
01:00:08,290 --> 01:00:11,260
I'll tell you.
944
01:00:11,260 --> 01:00:15,340
Remember that little bitty bitty
piece of acid I was saving?
945
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:18,890
Yeah.
946
01:00:18,890 --> 01:00:19,840
What about it?
947
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:29,320
Well, I woke up and
I said to myself, Bob.
948
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:32,330
Bob, I said to myself,
Bob... that's-that's me.
949
01:00:32,330 --> 01:00:38,690
Bob, oh, what a
beautiful morning.
950
01:00:38,690 --> 01:00:44,950
And you may not have
noticed this, but I took it.
951
01:00:44,950 --> 01:00:46,940
Christ!
952
01:00:46,940 --> 01:00:49,430
I was only going to
trip a little bit.
953
01:00:49,430 --> 01:00:51,410
Not a lot, just a little.
954
01:00:51,410 --> 01:00:54,600
I was going to trip over all
the bears, and the trees,
955
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:57,060
and the flowers, and the
insects, and the sky,
956
01:00:57,060 --> 01:01:01,000
and the universe all
wrapped up into one little...
957
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:02,470
Are you out of your mind?
958
01:01:02,470 --> 01:01:03,950
This is no time to trip!
959
01:01:03,950 --> 01:01:05,960
I didn't know this
shit would happen.
960
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:07,900
I mean, who could?
961
01:01:07,900 --> 01:01:08,870
Hm?
962
01:01:08,870 --> 01:01:11,850
[LAUGHING] Who's laughing?
963
01:01:11,850 --> 01:01:12,770
Stop laughing at me.
964
01:01:12,770 --> 01:01:15,510
Bob!
965
01:01:15,510 --> 01:01:17,750
I did it this morning.
966
01:01:17,750 --> 01:01:20,560
I thought it'd be over by now.
967
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:25,270
I thought I was at my
highest an hour ago.
968
01:01:25,270 --> 01:01:29,260
(ECHOING) But I'm
still tripping.
969
01:01:29,260 --> 01:01:30,660
(ECHOING) You know what man?
970
01:01:30,660 --> 01:01:32,270
(ECHOING) Talk
about bad timing.
971
01:01:32,270 --> 01:01:33,660
(ECHOING) Acid.
972
01:01:33,660 --> 01:01:35,090
How can you take
that kind of crap?
973
01:01:35,090 --> 01:01:36,000
Damn fool.
974
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,360
(ECHOING) This is just great.
975
01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:39,850
You know, we're not going
to know where to be.
976
01:01:39,850 --> 01:01:41,340
We ought to just leave you here!
977
01:01:41,340 --> 01:01:43,080
(ECHOING) You want
to be drugged out
978
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:44,320
and talking about me, you jerk?
979
01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:46,230
What the hell is going
on in your mind, man?
980
01:01:46,230 --> 01:01:47,830
(ECHOING) But you are
going to do this autopsy,
981
01:01:47,830 --> 01:01:49,970
Bob, because we're in an
emergency situation, here.
982
01:01:49,970 --> 01:01:52,310
You can't just close
your eyes for this.
983
01:01:52,310 --> 01:01:53,350
BOB: (ECHOING) You want to bet?
984
01:01:55,850 --> 01:01:57,790
[VOICES ECHOING]
985
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,660
WILBUR: Wake up!
986
01:02:12,660 --> 01:02:16,040
(ECHOING) Now slice him open.
987
01:02:21,340 --> 01:02:24,130
But I don't have
any instruments.
988
01:02:24,130 --> 01:02:24,900
WILBUR: (ECHOING) Here.
989
01:02:46,500 --> 01:02:48,200
WILBUR: Stop fucking around.
990
01:02:51,420 --> 01:02:52,150
LISA: (ECHOING) Hurry!
991
01:03:07,460 --> 01:03:08,450
Oh, man.
992
01:03:08,450 --> 01:03:13,920
Uh, god, this zombie
skin is the toughest.
993
01:03:19,180 --> 01:03:19,880
Ew.
994
01:03:22,860 --> 01:03:25,870
Ew, what is in here?
995
01:03:25,870 --> 01:03:27,210
Oh, god.
996
01:03:27,210 --> 01:03:32,040
Oh, my god, what...
Oh, this... ew.
997
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:33,520
Yuck.
998
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:34,510
Ew, yuck.
999
01:03:34,510 --> 01:03:36,980
Ew, yucky, yucky.
1000
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:39,940
Yuck.
What?
1001
01:03:42,910 --> 01:03:44,470
(ECHOING) What's this?
1002
01:03:44,470 --> 01:03:45,860
I-I don't believe it.
1003
01:03:45,860 --> 01:03:49,840
I don't believe... what in the
wor... will you look at this?
1004
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:52,140
I mean, OK, all right.
1005
01:03:52,140 --> 01:03:53,090
So what?
1006
01:03:53,090 --> 01:03:56,000
It's light, it's less
filling, but hey, it
1007
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:57,120
could have been recycled.
1008
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,810
I don't believe it.
1009
01:03:59,810 --> 01:04:01,280
What else is in here?
1010
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:02,250
Ah.
1011
01:04:02,250 --> 01:04:04,930
Where did this come from?
1012
01:04:04,930 --> 01:04:07,650
Where do you suppo... yeah.
1013
01:04:07,650 --> 01:04:09,690
Some poor Appalachian
man, I think,
1014
01:04:09,690 --> 01:04:11,630
is going around,
wandering around
1015
01:04:11,630 --> 01:04:14,080
the mountains without a shoe.
1016
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,890
Can you believe that he's
going around without a shoe?
1017
01:04:16,890 --> 01:04:17,890
What?
1018
01:04:17,890 --> 01:04:18,890
Now what's this?
1019
01:04:18,890 --> 01:04:20,370
What's this?
1020
01:04:20,370 --> 01:04:21,540
Help.
1021
01:04:21,540 --> 01:04:22,980
Ew.
1022
01:04:22,980 --> 01:04:24,420
Huh.
1023
01:04:24,420 --> 01:04:28,050
Now how do you suppose
this got in the colon?
1024
01:04:28,050 --> 01:04:30,210
I don't... I can't imagine.
1025
01:04:30,210 --> 01:04:32,840
Well, you know, I do
think it might... nah.
1026
01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:39,530
But... ah, hey, hey,
now this, I like this.
1027
01:04:39,530 --> 01:04:41,020
Oh, yeah.
1028
01:04:41,020 --> 01:04:42,380
Oh, ho, ho.
1029
01:04:42,380 --> 01:04:46,350
Oh now this, this I'm
going to keep for myself.
1030
01:04:46,350 --> 01:04:48,200
I like that.
1031
01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:49,170
What else do we have in here?
1032
01:04:49,170 --> 01:04:50,540
Yeah, I think I'm
going to climb in here.
1033
01:04:50,540 --> 01:04:52,400
Well, no, no, I won't
climb in just yet,
1034
01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:55,940
but well... look, it's...
Believe me, it's big in here.
1035
01:04:55,940 --> 01:04:58,120
I mean, it's as big as an
amusement park in here.
1036
01:04:58,120 --> 01:04:59,600
I love it.
I love it.
1037
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:00,880
Hey, look!
1038
01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:02,570
There's the roller coaster.
1039
01:05:02,570 --> 01:05:03,540
That's a roller coaster.
1040
01:05:03,540 --> 01:05:06,460
Hey, hey, hey, and
there's the Ferris wheel.
1041
01:05:06,460 --> 01:05:07,430
I love it in here.
1042
01:05:07,430 --> 01:05:08,400
You guys should look in here.
1043
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:09,220
This is amazing.
1044
01:05:09,220 --> 01:05:10,350
I'm telling you, it's amazing.
1045
01:05:20,350 --> 01:05:22,340
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
1046
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:52,270
All right, here we have
two zombie hands, which we
1047
01:05:52,270 --> 01:05:54,180
will call numbers one and two.
1048
01:05:56,940 --> 01:05:59,650
And we have two types of
deodorant, which we will
1049
01:05:59,650 --> 01:06:04,320
designate types A
and B. Now what I'm
1050
01:06:04,320 --> 01:06:11,760
going to do is spray zombie
hand one with deodorant A.
1051
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:17,470
As you can see, the skin
becomes wet and sticky.
1052
01:06:17,470 --> 01:06:24,780
Now I'm going to spray zombie
hand two with deodorant B.
1053
01:06:24,780 --> 01:06:26,230
Ah, my, my, my.
1054
01:06:26,230 --> 01:06:27,810
Look at that, huh?
1055
01:06:27,810 --> 01:06:35,640
You might notice that the tissue
becomes dehydrated and decayed,
1056
01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:37,630
and, uh, and yucky.
1057
01:06:42,010 --> 01:06:45,320
Therefore, it's safe to
conclude that the only effective
1058
01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:49,700
deodorant against zombies
is one which contains
1059
01:06:49,700 --> 01:06:52,500
aluminum chlorohydrate.
1060
01:06:52,500 --> 01:06:58,460
It's dries them fast
and keeps them dry.
1061
01:06:58,460 --> 01:07:01,400
Why only aluminum
chlorohydrate?
1062
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:04,050
How the hell am I
suppose the know?
1063
01:07:04,050 --> 01:07:07,580
I'm pre vet, not a chemist.
1064
01:07:07,580 --> 01:07:08,390
This is essential.
1065
01:07:08,390 --> 01:07:10,280
We've got Andy's pack.
1066
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:11,630
Arm yourselves.
1067
01:07:11,630 --> 01:07:14,120
[GROWLING]
1068
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:15,610
What the hell was that?
1069
01:07:15,610 --> 01:07:18,100
I don't know, but
it's coming this way.
1070
01:07:18,100 --> 01:07:20,050
[GROWLING]
1071
01:07:36,080 --> 01:07:39,060
Ma?
1072
01:07:39,060 --> 01:07:42,010
You're going to kill
me, but [COUGHING].
1073
01:07:51,260 --> 01:07:54,200
Ma, what happened to Porky?
1074
01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:07,140
Shit.
1075
01:08:07,140 --> 01:08:09,150
I'm not going to
change this tire.
1076
01:08:09,150 --> 01:08:10,190
Fuck you.
1077
01:08:10,190 --> 01:08:12,300
Man, I just changed
these motherfuckers.
1078
01:08:12,300 --> 01:08:14,020
We ran over some bullshit.
1079
01:08:14,020 --> 01:08:14,940
What?
1080
01:08:14,940 --> 01:08:16,640
Fuck you.
1081
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:17,910
Give me a hand, Sherman.
1082
01:08:17,910 --> 01:08:19,200
Here, hold this, asshole.
1083
01:08:26,980 --> 01:08:31,310
Looks like a ball jar
and a safety razor.
1084
01:08:31,310 --> 01:08:33,760
Whoa, Ty, check it out.
1085
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:34,750
It's a native.
1086
01:08:34,750 --> 01:08:36,160
Oh, hello!
1087
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:37,270
TYRONE: Hey, you.
1088
01:08:37,270 --> 01:08:38,260
Get over here!
1089
01:08:42,950 --> 01:08:44,220
Oh, man.
1090
01:08:44,220 --> 01:08:47,430
That boy don't look right, Ty.
1091
01:08:47,430 --> 01:08:49,920
Halt. Stop.
1092
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:51,510
Freeze!
1093
01:08:51,510 --> 01:08:52,450
Fini, motherfucker.
1094
01:08:56,390 --> 01:08:57,310
That's french.
1095
01:08:57,310 --> 01:09:01,170
[GROWLING]
1096
01:09:01,170 --> 01:09:02,230
Oh, he's sick.
1097
01:09:02,230 --> 01:09:03,610
Let's take him with us.
1098
01:09:03,610 --> 01:09:04,590
Fuck you.
1099
01:09:04,590 --> 01:09:05,890
Shoot him, Sherman.
1100
01:09:05,890 --> 01:09:08,140
Which one?
1101
01:09:08,140 --> 01:09:09,100
Him first.
1102
01:09:09,100 --> 01:09:11,530
Ah, I think I'll
just kick his ass.
1103
01:09:11,530 --> 01:09:14,190
I haven't tasted
redneck in a long time.
1104
01:09:14,190 --> 01:09:15,410
Suppose he got rabies?
1105
01:09:15,410 --> 01:09:18,910
Well, I ain't going to
let the dick bite me.
1106
01:09:18,910 --> 01:09:20,850
Be nice, Sherman.
1107
01:09:20,850 --> 01:09:23,670
SHERMAN: Fuck you.
1108
01:09:23,670 --> 01:09:26,720
All right, asshole.
Oh, Jesus!
1109
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:50,320
Hess.
1110
01:09:50,320 --> 01:09:52,290
He probably said
something nasty.
1111
01:09:52,290 --> 01:09:54,440
Boss?
1112
01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:56,020
[GROWLING]
1113
01:10:01,230 --> 01:10:04,700
Oh, Ty, this could be fun.
1114
01:10:04,700 --> 01:10:06,690
Did you see the
movie "Deliverance"?
1115
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:11,650
Oh, hello!
1116
01:10:11,650 --> 01:10:13,630
Hi.
1117
01:10:13,630 --> 01:10:15,620
Water sports, anyone?
1118
01:10:15,620 --> 01:10:17,100
Oh, my!
1119
01:10:17,100 --> 01:10:18,100
No!
1120
01:10:18,100 --> 01:10:20,580
Stop!
1121
01:10:20,580 --> 01:10:24,540
Oh, no, stop!
1122
01:10:24,540 --> 01:10:25,540
[RIPPING]
1123
01:10:26,530 --> 01:10:28,020
[GROWLING]
1124
01:10:44,940 --> 01:10:45,750
Fuck you, still!
1125
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:07,730
Man, we have got
to make a plan.
1126
01:11:07,730 --> 01:11:09,720
Yeah, how we're getting
the fuck out of here.
1127
01:11:09,720 --> 01:11:10,420
Look!
1128
01:11:13,630 --> 01:11:15,870
TYRONE: Hey, you kids, run!
1129
01:11:15,870 --> 01:11:16,810
Who the hell is that?
1130
01:11:16,810 --> 01:11:18,210
Get out of here!
1131
01:11:23,750 --> 01:11:25,960
Oh, shoot!
1132
01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,280
Where'd he go?
1133
01:11:27,280 --> 01:11:29,830
I don't know, but I think...
I think we're on our own.
1134
01:11:29,830 --> 01:11:32,020
No.
1135
01:11:32,020 --> 01:11:33,630
Hey, look, there's
no hard feelings,
1136
01:11:33,630 --> 01:11:35,080
but we got to get out of here.
1137
01:11:35,080 --> 01:11:39,420
[GROWLING]
1138
01:11:39,420 --> 01:11:41,210
Oops, too late for you.
1139
01:11:41,210 --> 01:11:42,200
[GUNSHOT]
1140
01:11:42,200 --> 01:11:43,190
Oh, ahh!
1141
01:12:20,890 --> 01:12:22,380
[GROWLING]
1142
01:12:28,330 --> 01:12:29,320
Right here.
1143
01:12:29,320 --> 01:12:32,790
Look over... right there.
1144
01:12:32,790 --> 01:12:34,280
[GROWLING]
1145
01:12:48,670 --> 01:12:51,080
I'm gonna kick
your fucking ass.
1146
01:12:51,080 --> 01:12:51,780
Are you crazy?
1147
01:12:51,780 --> 01:12:53,090
You can go kick
them by yourself.
1148
01:13:10,950 --> 01:13:12,430
This is it!
1149
01:13:23,350 --> 01:13:24,850
[SCREAMING]
1150
01:13:33,050 --> 01:13:36,440
Come on, I'll kick your
fucking ass, motherfucker.
1151
01:13:36,440 --> 01:14:16,690
[WHIMPERING]
1152
01:14:16,690 --> 01:14:32,990
[WHIMPERING]
1153
01:14:32,990 --> 01:14:35,870
Die, you bastards!
Ahh!
1154
01:15:13,460 --> 01:15:15,450
[WILBUR SCREAMING]
1155
01:15:42,280 --> 01:16:02,770
[SCREAMING]
1156
01:16:02,770 --> 01:16:14,820
[CRYING]
1157
01:16:14,820 --> 01:16:24,240
- [WHIMPERING]
- No!
1158
01:16:45,920 --> 01:16:57,880
[SCREAMING]
1159
01:16:57,880 --> 01:16:58,870
[RIPPING]
1160
01:17:12,540 --> 01:17:13,240
Ahh!
1161
01:17:51,090 --> 01:18:19,480
[SCREAMING]
1162
01:18:19,480 --> 01:18:21,470
[GROWLING]
1163
01:18:46,060 --> 01:18:47,180
[MOTOR RUNNING]
1164
01:18:54,960 --> 01:18:55,660
Help!
1165
01:19:01,150 --> 01:19:02,650
[LISA SCREAMING]
1166
01:20:09,020 --> 01:20:10,510
[GROWLING]
1167
01:20:44,440 --> 01:22:10,490
[SCREAMING]
1168
01:22:10,490 --> 01:22:11,990
[FOOTSTEPS]
1169
01:24:16,740 --> 01:25:30,590
[CRYING]
1170
01:25:30,590 --> 01:25:33,570
- [GROWLING]
- Ahh!
1171
01:25:39,520 --> 01:25:41,010
No!
No!
1172
01:26:41,030 --> 01:26:42,740
Come on, Missy.
1173
01:26:42,740 --> 01:26:45,700
Dark times is here.
1174
01:26:45,700 --> 01:26:48,620
We best be going, yes we do.
1175
01:26:48,620 --> 01:26:51,050
We best leave now.
1176
01:26:51,050 --> 01:26:53,160
Don't you worry none.
1177
01:26:53,160 --> 01:26:55,820
The tobacco man won't hurt you.
1178
01:26:55,820 --> 01:26:57,810
[VOICES ECHOING]
1179
01:27:21,720 --> 01:27:24,960
[BABY CRYING]
78766
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.