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1
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,345
That was fun. What a great idea
2
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,382
To make a snowman
Into my likeness.
3
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,661
I'm surprised it didn't melt.
4
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,153
You're so hot. Ha ha ha.
5
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,355
Hey! Cool. Check it out.
6
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,724
The creator of captain
Karma is going to be
7
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,893
At pee wee's comics.
You want to come?
8
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:32,164
I think I'll skip the
Funny book carnival.
9
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,598
Oh! I'm late.
10
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,235
It's hokey-pokey day at
My roller skating class.
11
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,348
Oh, do you want to come?
12
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,183
No, the last time I
Put my whole self in,
13
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,841
I-I got in a lot of trouble.
14
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,187
You're making fun of me.
15
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,944
No. Oh, my god, no. I'm not.
16
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,913
I love how unique
You are, you know?
17
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:49,415
You're... You're one of a kind.
18
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:50,916
You are like...
19
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,419
You are like my
Own little dodo bird.
20
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,587
Oh.
21
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:59,658
I am so, so happy
That you are in my life.
22
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,761
Oh, well, I am, too, sir.
23
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,097
Irene... Yeah?
24
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:06,532
I, uh...
25
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,935
Be careful when
You shake it all about.
26
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,303
That's sweet.
27
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,504
Irene? Yeah?
28
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:13,872
I love you.
29
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,608
Ha ha ha. That's sweet.
30
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,599
Hey. Hey.
31
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:44,435
Hey, hey, berg, tell me again,
32
00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:48,173
What trimester are you in?
33
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:49,507
Ooh.
34
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,110
I told irene that I loved her.
35
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:54,412
Whoa, really?
36
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,948
Wow, wow. I-I'm shocked.
37
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:58,550
I mean, I'm happy for you...
38
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:02,187
No, not yet. I'm still shocked.
39
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:08,359
Yeah, well, uh, she
Didn't say it back.
40
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,896
Oh, no, no, she
Probably didn't hear you.
41
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,799
That's happened to me before.
42
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,200
Pete,
43
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,769
This is the first time
That I said it first,
44
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:21,306
And the first time I
Meant it, I might add.
45
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,208
Yeah, that's nice.
46
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:24,776
Do I need to tell you
47
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,945
What ice cream does to chenille?
48
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,381
Jeez, I told her I loved her...
49
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:34,619
And she laughed.
50
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:38,523
I didn't even get a "Ditto."
51
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,125
All right, you know what?
52
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,060
The first thing
You need to do is
53
00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:45,663
Stop watching "Ghost."
54
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:50,368
Yeah. I know, but, uh...
55
00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:52,637
Sometimes you just
Need a good cry.
56
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:56,074
All right, no, no.
57
00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:58,777
Look, give irene some
Time. She'll come around.
58
00:02:58,812 --> 00:02:59,845
You think?
59
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,346
Yeah. Yeah, but meanwhile,
60
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:04,015
Look, don't sit here
Wallowing in self-pity.
61
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,417
You know, go...
Go find your smile.
62
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,754
Hey, look, look.
Captain karma's in town.
63
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:12,190
Go see him. You like him.
64
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:16,461
I do love captain karma.
65
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,463
Look,
66
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:21,399
All his superhero
Friends will be there.
67
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:24,936
Huh? So, you know,
Go enjoy yourself
68
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,239
And don't think about irene.
69
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,952
You know what?
You're right, pete.
70
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,743
You are right.
71
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:35,847
Hey... You're a good friend.
72
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,216
Ditto.
73
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:46,258
You're the coolest,
Captain karma.
74
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,459
Thank you.
75
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:56,034
Oh, my god. I know you.
76
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,835
You're mikey bergen.
77
00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:02,741
And you're... S-someone
Who knows me.
78
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,243
I'm katie conner.
79
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,977
We went to high school together.
80
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,412
Uh, no, no, we didn't.
81
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,147
If there were girls
Who looked like you
82
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:10,694
In high school, we
Wouldn't have had to
83
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,951
Turn out the
Lights at the dances.
84
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,997
Well, I do look a
Little different now.
85
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,789
I was 4 inches shorter
And about 50 pounds heavier.
86
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,023
Remember?
87
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,393
Oh, and I had a lazy eye
88
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,962
And I used to weara patch.
89
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,331
Everybody called me "Patches."
90
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:32,638
Right, right, and I
Had scurvy and a hump.
91
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,273
Yeah.
92
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:35,785
Well, I guess you
Wouldn't remember me.
93
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:39,144
I mean, you were a senior
And I was a geeky freshman.
94
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,280
Because of you, I went to see
95
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,482
Every performance of "Oklahoma!"
96
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,583
Oh, well, yeah,
97
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,818
I-I was supposed to be
A rancher, but they...
98
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:52,658
They needed another
Cowgirl for the dance.
99
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,404
I can't believe I ran into you
100
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,994
After all these years.
101
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,996
It's like destiny or something.
102
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,643
Destiny... That's...
That's the name
103
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,132
Of captain karma's
Robotic horse.
104
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,201
Ride, destiny, ride!
105
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,710
What a bunch of geeks.
106
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,158
Here's one perfect
107
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,493
For a couple
Firefighters like us...
108
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,383
"The boys of fire island."
109
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,452
John... Johnny, I-I...
110
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,853
It got two thumbs up.
111
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:25,056
Yeah, um, those aren't thumbs.
112
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,873
Oh, johnny, thank
God you're wearing
113
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,397
Your big boy pants.
114
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,832
Okay, turn around.
115
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,400
What?
116
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,280
Great news. We're going
To a business mixer tonight.
117
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:39,304
I don't want to go
To a business mixer.
118
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:42,207
Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I
Meant "Free booze."
119
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,676
I can't. I'm going to
The movies with pete.
120
00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,623
Oh, that sounds like fun.
What are you going to see?
121
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:49,180
Not gay porn.
122
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,616
No, seriously, sweetie.
I can't go to this thing.
123
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,352
I am going to the
Movies with pete.
124
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,031
I know. Sounds fun.
Tuck in your shirt.
125
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,455
I'm not kidding.
126
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,923
I know, baby. I know
When you're kidding.
127
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,925
Lift up your arms.
128
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,127
Sharon, you can't
Just come in here
129
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,730
And change his plans.
130
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,833
Pete, I wouldn't dream
Of it. Put your arms down.
131
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,746
I think it's great that
You guys are hanging out.
132
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,080
Okay. Good night, pete.
133
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,505
You guys have fun at the movies.
134
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,683
Hi, pete.
135
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,754
Hey!
136
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:32,123
Hey, ashley, I didn't
See you there.
137
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:34,659
So, it's friday night.
Do you have plans,
138
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,629
Or do you want to borrow
My home facial kit again?
139
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,364
I have a date tonight.
140
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,267
Oh. I have a date, too.
141
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:44,235
Oh, well, then, I'll
Let you get ready.
142
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,137
I'm sure you want
To shed your skin.
143
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,774
Well, you have a good time.
144
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,743
Oh, and don't forget
To tip your date.
145
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,111
You know what?
146
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,747
It might interest you to know
147
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,950
That my date is, in
Fact, not a hooker.
148
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:02,854
She happens to be a rhodes
Scholar/nymphomaniac.
149
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,088
Great.
150
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,691
Then she'll be bored
and frustrated.
151
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:18,236
Sweetie, sweetie,
Sweetie, stop fidgeting.
152
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,315
I don't know what
I'm doing here.
153
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,439
Okay, you know what?
154
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,441
If we're going to look
Like a real law firm,
155
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,375
We're going to need
More than one lawyer,
156
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:26,277
So for tonight, you're
The silent partner.
157
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,479
But I'm not a lawyer.
158
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:30,515
Silent!
159
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:33,585
Oh, okay. There's mark.
160
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,465
Hi. I want you to meet
My husband johnny.
161
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,099
It's good to know you.
162
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,089
You, too.
163
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,758
You look nice.
164
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,170
See, I told you this
Wasn't going to be so bad.
165
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,528
I'd rather be on
A fun ship cruise
166
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,997
With my ex-wife and her mother.
167
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:48,500
And I'd rather be working
For a prestigious lawyer.
168
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:49,979
Ha ha. So start mingling.
169
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,014
Okay, here are
Some business cards.
170
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,304
Whoa! Business cards.
171
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,580
I always wanted to
Have business cards.
172
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:58,176
Okay, so I want you to
Give every one of those
173
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,111
To a prospective client tonight.
174
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,981
Here you go, sharon.
175
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,416
Um, I'm going to
Work the buffet line.
176
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:08,687
You cover these tables.
Johnny, you want to come?
177
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,490
With you now, or here at all?
178
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:12,958
Go get 'em, tiger.
179
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,337
Boy, your wife has a way
Of getting what she wants,
180
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,361
Doesn't she?
181
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,828
Yeah, I think so,
182
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,731
But I should really
Check with her.
183
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:20,944
Let me buy you a drink.
184
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,734
My wife said they were free.
185
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:24,689
Why do you think I'm buying?
186
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:38,216
Why did we rent this?
187
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:42,220
We should just buy it.
188
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,322
Hey, pete.
189
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,826
Oh, what is it now?
190
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,861
Does this, uh...
191
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,831
Does this look like a
Four or a nine to you?
192
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:58,069
Looks like a... What?
193
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:02,106
That jughead... He can't
Eat that many burgers.
194
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,011
It's a four, and who's katie?
195
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,147
She's a cute girl I ran into
At the comic book store.
196
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:12,984
Berg... How old is she?
197
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:19,024
We used to go to
High school together,
198
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,660
And, man, has she changed.
199
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:25,730
Best-looking one-eyed
Fat girl I've ever seen.
200
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,966
What about irene?
I know she's a kook,
201
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,234
But she's got to give
The chubby cyclops
202
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,502
A run for her money.
203
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,605
Meeting katie was destiny.
204
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,473
What are you
Doing? Berg, no, no.
205
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,609
It wasn't destiny.
It was a coincidence.
206
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:40,045
You just... You bumped
Into the girl once.
207
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,213
No, no, I bumped into
Her on the same day
208
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,649
My girlfriend, more or
Less, said she hates me.
209
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:47,752
Pete, see, I think everything
In life happens for a reason.
210
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,955
You know, katie was
Put there to show me
211
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,256
That there's someone else
Out there better for me.
212
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,458
I know it.
213
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,637
I know you're hurt, okay?
214
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:55,872
And I know this girl
215
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,740
Probably makes you feel
Better about yourself,
216
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,475
But don't use destiny
As some excuse
217
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,210
To bail on your
Relationship with irene.
218
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:05,169
Oh, you're right.
219
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,171
You're right.
What am I thinking?
220
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,607
There you go.
221
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:09,941
You know what?
222
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,688
I'm going to go talk
This through with irene
223
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,712
Right after my
Shift at the hospital.
224
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,180
Maybe stop by recovery,
Steal some flowers.
225
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:19,317
Berg, come on. That's not nice.
226
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:22,654
Take it from a guy in a
Coma. He'll never know.
227
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:33,163
Okay, before I go... Aw...
228
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,933
Before I go, I want
You to keep him
229
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,504
On an I.V. Drip at
200 c.C.S, and, uh...
230
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,873
Give yourself 50 c.C.S.
231
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,244
You know, this wheelchair
Is really unnecessary.
232
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,647
I just jammed my finger
Playing basketball.
233
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:50,682
Oh, you know,
234
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,617
I played ball when
I was in college.
235
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,152
Could have gone pro,
But I lost my gym bag.
236
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:58,088
Oh, my god. Berg?
237
00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:01,626
Katie, hi! What... Are you okay?
238
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,261
Oh, yeah. I just dove
For a loose ball,
239
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,996
And I jammed my finger.
240
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:07,943
See, that's why I don't golf.
241
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:10,601
I think I can take it
From here. Thank you.
242
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:14,739
Ho-ho. I was
Totally doc blocked.
243
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,575
Let's take a look at that.
244
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,777
Wow. I had no idea
You were a doctor.
245
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,412
You know, I always thought
246
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,815
You'd do something
With your a.V. Skills.
247
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,851
Well, I do actually run
248
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,798
Most of the overhead projectors
249
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:31,388
Here at the hospital.
250
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,602
See, you've... You've
Really jammed this.
251
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:34,904
Are you ready?
252
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:35,938
Huh? Okay.
253
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,072
Yaah!
254
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,429
How's that feel?
255
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:39,931
Oh, it's much better.
256
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:40,932
Thanks.
257
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:44,902
Yeah, well... Now
You pull my finger.
258
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,739
I can't believe this.
259
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:50,708
I haven't seen
You in eight years,
260
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,110
And then I run into
You twice in one day?
261
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:56,313
That... That is quite
A coincidence, yeah.
262
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,726
No, I don't believe
In coincidence.
263
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,584
I believe everything
Happens for a reason.
264
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:04,889
Well, so do I!
265
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,891
So do I.
266
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,861
Yeah, well, um...
267
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,864
Uh, keep ice on that until
The swelling goes down
268
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,431
And that should be fine.
269
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,666
Okay.
270
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,346
Well, it was nice
Bumping into you again.
271
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:20,571
Yeah, yeah.
272
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:27,244
Oh, by the way,
Berg, I stayed cool.
273
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:30,815
Excuse me?
274
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:33,885
In my yearbook, you said
That I should stay cool,
275
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,186
So I did.
276
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:43,628
I, uh, can't believe that
You remembered that.
277
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,129
Are you kidding?
278
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:48,699
I had one eye and a
Pituitary dysfunction.
279
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:51,802
People weren't lining
Up to sign my book.
280
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:56,306
Oh, you're patches!
281
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:05,850
Oh, I thought you were a boy!
282
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:08,686
Yeah, you weren't the only one.
283
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:12,023
The prom queen
Asked me to the dance.
284
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,158
Well, god, I...
285
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:17,494
I wish... I wish I asked
You to the dance.
286
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:24,234
Why... Why are you
Looking at me like that?
287
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,636
I don't know.
288
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:29,473
You know, you're
Just kind of special.
289
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:36,447
Ride, destiny, ride.
290
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,151
Ashley: pete?
291
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:44,221
Pete?
292
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:45,790
Hey!
293
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,491
Hey, what a coincidence.
294
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:49,493
I was just hiding from you.
295
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:52,463
Move, move, move, move, move.
296
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:56,467
It's okay. I'm a doctor.
297
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,013
So what happened
To your big evening?
298
00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:01,038
Same thing that happened
To your imaginary date.
299
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:04,475
I am not that pathetic.
She's parking the car.
300
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:10,014
Wow. You let her drive
The imaginary porsche?
301
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,061
All right, all right.
Let's just admit it.
302
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,183
Fine.
303
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:14,529
I really didn't have a date.
304
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:16,198
All right. My date canceled.
305
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,622
She's underwear shopping
For our date tomorrow night.
306
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,427
So what are you going to see?
307
00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:26,463
Oh, I wanted to see
That ukranian film,
308
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:27,898
But it's sold out.
309
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,567
Man, how small
Can that theater be?
310
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,970
So what are you going to see?
311
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:36,473
Well, the only thing left
Is that romantic comedy,
312
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,809
But I hate romantic comedies.
313
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:41,378
Why? Your whole
Love life's a joke.
314
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:44,949
What?
315
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,951
I can read the marquee backwards
316
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:48,719
In your oily forehead.
317
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,956
Hey, what's that
Romantic comedy about?
318
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,724
It's about two people
319
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,838
Who hate each
Other for two hours.
320
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:57,606
Then they wind up doing it.
321
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:58,595
God.
322
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,564
Who writes this crap?
323
00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:03,167
Both: one, please.
324
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,301
All right, that's it.
325
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:05,814
I handed out all
My business cards.
326
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,016
Yeah, me, too.
327
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,506
You know, if even a
Single person calls,
328
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,375
Then this night was a success.
329
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,576
Ha ha.
330
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:15,245
Johnny, sweetie, what's
That in your pocket?
331
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:17,126
Honey, I don't think that game's
332
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:21,351
Really appropriate right now.
333
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,653
Oh, those. Yeah.
334
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,755
Yeah, mark gave them to me.
335
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:28,092
Yeah, see, whenever I
Save someone from a fire,
336
00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:29,805
I'm going to slip them
One of your cards
337
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,106
While they're still
Strapped to the stretcher
338
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,462
And high on oxygen.
339
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,665
God, mark, I had to
Jump through hoops
340
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,934
To get us invited
To this stupid thing.
341
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:39,670
Sharon, I can't pretend
To be somebody I'm not.
342
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,338
Neither can my clients.
343
00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:43,574
Yeah, I don't even know
What I was thinking,
344
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,775
Inviting you here.
345
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,944
I guess I was just
Trying to convince you
346
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:49,413
That you're a better lawyer
Than you pretend to be,
347
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,226
But, I mean, who am I kidding?
348
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,383
I can't make a difference.
349
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,086
I'm such a failure.
350
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:58,655
No, no, no, no, no, sharon.
You're not a failure.
351
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:02,326
You're a failure's assistant.
352
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,931
All right, all right,
Give me the cards.
353
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,365
I'll do it.
354
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,602
Baby... Yes?
355
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,971
Are you fake crying?
356
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:15,006
Yes.
357
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:17,174
All right!
358
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:20,778
I'm finally starting
To pick up on that.
359
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,147
Man, that movie was bad.
360
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:26,016
Good call on the beer run.
361
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:28,585
Those empties
Make a lot of noise
362
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,087
When they roll
Down to the front.
363
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:36,894
You know, I don't know
Whether it's the beer talking
364
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:42,800
Or the kahlua or
Or the tequila...
365
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,813
But I had a great time.
366
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,871
Yeah, well, whoever it was,
367
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,873
They should brush their teeth.
368
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,379
That's funny.
369
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:56,747
You're funny.
370
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,817
I like it when we say
Mean things to each other.
371
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,219
No, no, wait a minute.
372
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:05,790
I like it when I say
Mean things to you
373
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:09,126
And then you just
Kind of stare at me
374
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:13,864
And go, "Big words make my
Head hurt something fierce."
375
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:18,836
All right, well... Good night.
376
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,037
Good night.
377
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:21,216
Oh. Oh.
378
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,539
Oh, I'm sorry.
379
00:17:22,574 --> 00:17:25,176
All right, I'll see
You later. Goodbye.
380
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:28,045
Hey, let me ask you something...
381
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,615
Do you, uh... Do you
Believe in destiny?
382
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,850
Yeah, I do.
383
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,786
I didn't really think
About it until tonight.
384
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,989
You know, I mean, look...
Look at what happened.
385
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:42,126
I mean, all we try to
Do is avoid one another,
386
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:44,461
Yet tonight,
Despite all the lies
387
00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:47,832
And all the different movie
Theaters to choose from,
388
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,233
We wind up together.
389
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,635
And you know what?
I had a great time.
390
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:54,205
I had a great time
With you tonight.
391
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:58,775
Ha ha.
392
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,578
What... What's so funny?
393
00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:04,114
If you were anyone else,
394
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,951
I'd think you were
Coming on to me.
395
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:11,755
If you were anybody
Else, maybe I would be.
396
00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:17,027
Hey.
397
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:18,462
Guess what.
398
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:20,497
Destiny strikes again.
399
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:23,633
B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b!
400
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:29,606
What you got there?
401
00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:31,075
My old yearbook.
402
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,709
Oh, you're thinking
403
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:36,280
About calling your
Friends from flag corps?
404
00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:40,084
No, we've grown apart.
405
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,264
I'm looking at what that
Girl katie wrote. Who?
406
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,021
The comic book
Girl. Listen to this.
407
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:47,157
"Berg..." I doubt
You'll even read this,
408
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,426
"But if you do, you should know
409
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,962
"The only thing I
Liked about school
410
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:55,266
"Was the chance that I
Might see you at lunch.
411
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,102
"You're going to leave these
Awkward teenage years behind
412
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,104
"And go on to do great things.
413
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,739
"I only wish that I
Could be there to see it.
414
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,342
"See ya. Katie.
415
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:10,080
P.S... School's a bummer.
Have a great summer."
416
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,315
That's it.
417
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,918
I'm calling her.
418
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,819
Hey, berg!
419
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:21,691
You were very
Pretty in "Oklahoma!"
420
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:22,727
Hey, where'd that...
421
00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:24,494
Where is her number?
I threw it in here.
422
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,840
Did you take out the trash?
423
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:28,565
It was its destiny.
424
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,640
Gotcha!
425
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:41,778
What are you doing?
426
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,213
We're out of plastic bags.
427
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,327
Do I bother you when you're
Going through the trash?
428
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,185
Berg, I want to explain
About what happened earlier.
429
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,587
Okay, hold on, look,
Don't worry about it, okay?
430
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:52,134
There's no need to explain.
431
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,324
Well, yes, there is.
432
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,126
Look, you told me you
Loved me, and I froze.
433
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:59,129
I guess when you dream
About something for so long,
434
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,999
And then it finally happens,
435
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,436
It... It takes your breath away.
436
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:09,506
You know, I had to
Catch my breath, berg.
437
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:13,677
Okay.
438
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:19,183
And if I'd been able to,
439
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,485
What I would have said is...
440
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,654
I love you, too.
441
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:31,228
I love you, michael bergen.
442
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:32,863
Ditto.
443
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:39,703
You smell all funky.
444
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:42,339
Why don't you come in?
I'll fix you something fresh.
445
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,874
Oh, I... Ha ha.
446
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,477
Okay, yeah, actually,
Just give me a minute.
447
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:47,711
I'll be right...
448
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,381
I'm just going to grab
The garbage here.
449
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,064
Hey, look, look...
450
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:11,168
Captain karma's
In town. Go see him.
451
00:21:11,204 --> 00:21:13,537
You do... You...
You... You... You...
452
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:16,740
You... You...
You... You... You...
453
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:20,744
I'll just keep stuffing
This up my nose, baby.
454
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:24,014
I didn't sign that
"The bergster," did I?
455
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:29,253
No? Uh...
456
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,755
Dying a slow and
Painful death now.
31736
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