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1
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:24,656
Stop it, berg, my
Milk's coming in.
2
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,536
What? I have to welcome
All the newborns
3
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,526
When they're fresh
Out of the oven.
4
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,062
Babies love me.
5
00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:31,997
Well, why wouldn't
They? You're a boob.
6
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:37,202
Hey there, little fella.
7
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:39,471
Hello. Hello. Hey, there.
8
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:40,984
Cut it out. You're scaring them.
9
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:44,109
Oh, please. They're
Probably just hungry.
10
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:48,147
Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure
That's what it is.
11
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,293
This is ridiculous!
12
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,894
Newborns can't
Even see that far.
13
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,598
No, no, no, but
They can sense evil.
14
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,133
Children, relax...
15
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:10,409
She'll be dead by the
Time you're dating age.
16
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,055
Johnny!
17
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:31,390
Sorry, baby.
18
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,824
What are you doing?
19
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:36,428
Drinking beer... Watching
My two good pals
20
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:39,264
Shaggy and scooby.
21
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,635
It's funnier with beer.
22
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,305
Sweetie, it is 8:00
In the morning.
23
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,874
Yeah, and it's my birthday,
And I'm not gonna shave,
24
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,643
And I'm not gonna shower.
25
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:54,779
I'm just gonna sit around
In my underwear all day
26
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,582
And celebrate life.
27
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,118
Come on, sweetie, you
Can do that any day.
28
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,553
Not true! Last time
I tried this, you said,
29
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,955
"What do you think
It is, your birthday?"
30
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:07,025
I bet you're gonna change your
Mind when you see your present.
31
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,728
You got me the circular saw?
32
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,430
Happy birthday.
33
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,199
You got the extended warranty.
34
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,901
"Johnny donnelly
Is hereby declared
35
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:19,271
An honorary fireman for a day."
36
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,939
Isn't it great?
37
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:26,645
Pete was selling these to
Raise money for the fire station,
38
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,724
And I just figured, you know,
39
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,593
Every boy dreams
Of being a fireman.
40
00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:31,916
I always dreamed
Of driving that truck
41
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,353
That sucks the stuff
Out of outhouses.
42
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,954
Okay. Forget it.
43
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,190
No. Honey, no. Come on.
44
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:39,891
No, it was a stupid gift.
45
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:42,494
I gotta tell you, you're
Not the easiest to buy for.
46
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,741
What do you get the
Man who has nothing?
47
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,398
Where do you start?
48
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,766
Don't be upset.
49
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,435
I would love to be
A fireman for a day.
50
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:53,738
This is something that I would
Never have gotten for myself...
51
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,207
Never ever.
52
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,781
All right. Relax.
Take a deep breath.
53
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,384
Make the camera your lover.
54
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:10,222
It's just an I.D. Photo, germ.
Will you take it already?
55
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,658
Come on, dr. Walker, move me.
56
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,760
Make me feel
Something. Make me cry.
57
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,596
It's too bad you're not a baby,
58
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,798
Or you'd be bawling
Your eyes out.
59
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:23,335
Berg, will you just be... Next!
60
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,939
Germ!
61
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:30,642
Germ, that was a
Terrible picture.
62
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:32,477
Take another one.
63
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:33,478
Next.
64
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:34,479
Germ!
65
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,515
Next!
66
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,349
Germ! G... Next!!
67
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,685
All right.
68
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,587
I'm up.
69
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:47,358
Finally, they send me a face.
70
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,561
This is the last
Shot of the morning.
71
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,863
For those of you
Wanting fake I.D.S,
72
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,332
Meet me in the parking
Lot in 15 minutes.
73
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,535
Ever heard the
Expression "Ladies first"?
74
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,690
Learned that after
"Wait your turn."
75
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:03,775
I was really hoping
To get this done today.
76
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:09,080
Yeah, so was I. You
Think this just happens?
77
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:12,517
Well, I guess chivalry is dead.
78
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,852
What?
79
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,054
Excuse me.
80
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,989
Why would she say that?
81
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,236
I'm all about chivalry.
Who does she think...
82
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,292
Smile.
83
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,794
She is?!
84
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,295
Good work, man.
85
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,732
Come back next week,
I'll bring the wind machine.
86
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,906
This is gonna be so fun.
87
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,542
I told you, I'll tape
The hockey game.
88
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,410
Don't tell me how it ends.
89
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,913
And don't tape
Over "Scooby doo."
90
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,816
Just go be a fireman.
It's gonna be great.
91
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:48,553
You get to hang out with the
Guys and scratch and curse.
92
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:49,988
Okay, stop!
93
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,389
Hey. Okay.
94
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:54,392
Okay, that's a lethal weapon.
95
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,628
Don't do that!
96
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:57,896
Hey, put those back.
97
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,909
Take that off, that's not a toy.
98
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,078
Do you know where
That boot has been?
99
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,502
Well, I do, so take
It off your head.
100
00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:06,938
I didn't know it was
Gonna be like this.
101
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,473
You don't have to stay.
102
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:11,175
No. You went through
A lot of trouble.
103
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:14,012
At least this way I know
I won't get picked on.
104
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,616
Okay, finally, look...
Firefighter johnny is here.
105
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:21,285
Do you know what happens
When firefighters are late?
106
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,421
People die, johnny!
107
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:27,626
Hey, why does his
Mommy get to stay?
108
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,194
Because his mommy loves him.
109
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,597
Sharon, you can take off.
110
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:33,999
Bye.
111
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,567
Ewww! Ewww! Ewww!
112
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,837
Now we can start.
113
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:42,240
Listen, the first thing we do
When we hear the fire alarm
114
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,509
Is we slide down the pole.
115
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:47,378
Who wants to
Slide down the pole?
116
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,614
I do! I do! Me!
117
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:52,517
How 'bout you, birthday boy?
118
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,558
They're so cute
When they're big.
119
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,131
I didn't do anything wrong.
120
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,565
I was there before her.
121
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,468
I know because she held
The door open for me.
122
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,778
Chivalry isn't about
Doing the right thing.
123
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,147
It's about a man doing the
Extra thing for the lady.
124
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,883
Like the extra things
This man does for his lady?
125
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,320
That isn't chivalry.
126
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:32,791
It's medieval, but
It ain't chivalry.
127
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:36,494
The codpiece was for you.
128
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,963
Let me tell you a little
Story about chivalry.
129
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,531
Remember last winter...
130
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,101
We had that big storm and
The streets were flooded?
131
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,203
I slipped and fell in
The mud out front.
132
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,072
People just walked
By and laughed.
133
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,540
But then a tall, handsome
Knight in shining armor
134
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,710
Came out of this
Building, helped me up,
135
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,845
Took me inside, and
Made me some cocoa.
136
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,747
I don't remember doing that.
137
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,381
'cause it was johnny!
138
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:02,453
You think johnny's handsome?
139
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,955
Not the point!
140
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,157
Look, he was being chivalrous.
141
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:09,894
Why even care what
That nurse thinks, anyway?
142
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,363
Because! I consider
Myself to be a good person.
143
00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,543
I hate to think that
There's somebody out there
144
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,245
Who doesn't feel the same way.
145
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,737
So everyone in the
World should love you?
146
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,672
I don't think that's
Too much to ask.
147
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,779
That...
148
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:31,783
Was the best birthday
Present I ever got!
149
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,151
No way?!
150
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,788
So I should cancel the
Hot fudge and make-up sex?
151
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,957
The "Sticky icky"?
152
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:44,829
This is the best birthday ever.
153
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,430
So you really had a good time?
154
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,166
I loved it!
155
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,046
After the kids went home,
Pete invited me on the truck.
156
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,402
He took you to a fire?
157
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:53,371
No, no, for yogurt.
158
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,974
You know what I found out?
159
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:59,010
Fireman get yogurt for
Free! Can you believe that?
160
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,846
After that we went
For coffee. Guess what?
161
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:04,649
Coffee was free, too? Yeah!
162
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:07,852
You know, sharon, you will
Never meet a group of nicer guys.
163
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,855
They let you turn on
The siren, didn't they?
164
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:12,635
Yeah! You know what?
165
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,526
I think I would make
A very good fireman.
166
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:18,163
Yes, honey, I think
That you would.
167
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,243
Because I signed up for
The training program.
168
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,866
I'm gonna fight fires. What?!
169
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,701
First I volunteer
At the fire station,
170
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:25,303
Then I go to boot camp,
171
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,238
And in 6 months
I'll be a firefighter.
172
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:30,741
What about the other
Children? Are they doing that?
173
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:32,944
Honey, I'm serious.
I'm gonna fight fires.
174
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:36,047
No, no, no, that's dangerous.
You could get hurt!
175
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,748
Not if I stay alert.
176
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,590
If that was on fire,
I would have seen it.
177
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,330
Hey.
178
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,965
Hey.
179
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,067
So, johnny had a fun day.
180
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,871
I know, and very
Well-behaved during nap time.
181
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:02,707
Yeah. Now he wants
To become a fireman.
182
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,242
I know. He told me.
183
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,643
That is just crazy.
184
00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:08,713
Why is that crazy?
Sharon, I'm a fireman.
185
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,559
Pete, you're good at it.
You've got what it takes.
186
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,250
Johnny burned himself shaving.
187
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,154
Come on, sharon, look...
188
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,656
All spouses get
Worried at first.
189
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:20,925
Eventually they get over it,
190
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:24,162
And if not, they meet
Somebody in rehab.
191
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,147
There's nothing to worry about.
192
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:36,507
Pete, your fundraiser was
For widows and orphans.
193
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:38,454
No, see... That's
Just marketing.
194
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,978
Who would contribute
195
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,580
If they knew they were
Sending us to atlantic city?
196
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:45,416
You're not taking this
Seriously and neither is he.
197
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:46,951
What does that mean?
198
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:50,021
He thinks being a fireman is
Easier than being a janitor.
199
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,423
He s... He said that?
200
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:54,458
Actually, his exact words were,
201
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:57,195
"If pete can fight
Fires, any bozo can."
202
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,030
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
203
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:03,902
I'd like to see bozo entertain
A group of children all day.
204
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,603
And you know what?
205
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:08,039
He also said all
You guys seem to do
206
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,708
Is take the truck
Out for free yogurt.
207
00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:12,176
Free yogurt?
208
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,345
He told you about
The free yogurt?
209
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,781
See, civilians, they're not
Supposed to know that.
210
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:18,349
That's just betrayal!
211
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:21,319
You know, I hate to say
This about my own husband,
212
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,788
But someone needs
To teach him a lesson.
213
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,356
Yeah. Yeah.
214
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:28,326
And I know just
The man to do it.
215
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,827
You.
216
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:31,862
No, pete.
217
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,732
Okay, you big wussy, I'll do it.
218
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,641
And then, johnny starts
Shootin' his mouth off.
219
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,044
Yeah, we'll see how cocky he is
220
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:49,513
When he has to carry the
Tires to the police station.
221
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,315
We never had to do that.
222
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,819
How's the police chief supposed
To inspect the tires if he...
223
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:01,358
I knew that.
224
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,660
Hey, guys.
225
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:05,063
Volunteer donnelly
Reporting for duty.
226
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,765
All right, rookie, we got a
Lot of work for you to do.
227
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,901
We got boots to shine.
We got floors to mop.
228
00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:13,304
And then you gotta
Shave chuck's back.
229
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,840
It's true... We
All had to do it.
230
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:20,211
Okay, you know what?
231
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,080
You guys are just jerks.
232
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,952
Okay, seriously, what's
First? What's first?
233
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:31,155
First, we want you to take
Each of these 60-pound hoses
234
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:34,458
Up to the second floor,
But here's the thing...
235
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:37,095
We just painted the stairs,
So you can't use those.
236
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,863
You have to use the pole.
237
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,431
Oho-ho!
238
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:43,635
This is one of those
Hazing things, isn't it?
239
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,230
You're not supposed
To know that!
240
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:50,474
Nice work, dunville.
241
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:53,611
Oh, and when you finish
That, clean the oven.
242
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,913
Very nice.
243
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:59,083
It's filthy, and I have
To bake in the morning.
244
00:12:01,587 --> 00:12:03,921
All right, who's next?
245
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,589
Oh, no... No do-overs.
246
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:08,526
Germ, I demand you
Retake this picture.
247
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,194
Look at it!
248
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,829
Oh, boy, you're right.
249
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,132
No wonder you
Make the babies cry!
250
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,935
Can you help me?
251
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,171
No, it's a camera,
Not the hand of god.
252
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:21,505
Next!
253
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,610
Hey...
254
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,080
I was thinking about what
Happened between us earlier...
255
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,348
Yeah, that was my lunch break,
256
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,529
And now I'm missing
My kid's soccer game.
257
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,820
Okay, see, I didn't know that.
258
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,890
Look, um, I talked it
Over with my girlfriend,
259
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,558
And... And I realize
260
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,928
That maybe I could have
Given up my place in line.
261
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:47,264
So I'm here to make it
Up to you... Come with me.
262
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,200
What are you doing?
263
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:52,203
I'm being chivalrous.
Hey, hairdo, beat it!
264
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:53,905
You are amazing.
265
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,841
You cut in front of a bunch
Of hardworking nurses
266
00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,844
Just to somehow prove to
Me what a good guy you are.
267
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,479
You have no idea how
To treat a woman, do you?
268
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:06,117
Well, you haven't seen me
In my codpiece, have you?
269
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,825
Dude, you're a pig!
270
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,364
Good yogurt!
271
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:22,100
Mm-hmm.
272
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,102
Johnny!
273
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,104
Johnny!
274
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,304
Yeah?
275
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,207
Where are all the hoses?
276
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,776
Uh, top of the pole,
Where you wanted 'em,
277
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,979
And oven is clean, too, but
Whoever is makin' soufflés
278
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,581
Should really just
Lay some foil down.
279
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,617
This guy's good.
280
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,486
I'm gonna go lather up my back.
281
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,591
All right, hotshot, let's get
Those hoses back down here.
282
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:50,895
Wait a second... I
Just put 'em up there.
283
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:52,730
I missed yogurt!
284
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:55,867
Are you sassin' me?!
285
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:58,435
What is this, pete? The
Other day I was here,
286
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,515
You were treatin'
Me like a king,
287
00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:02,517
And today you're doggin' me!
288
00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:04,876
You know what? Why shouldn't I?
289
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:08,712
Apparently you think it's
Real easy bein' a fireman.
290
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,081
I never said that.
291
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,883
Sharon also told me you figured,
292
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,118
"If pete can do
It, any bozo can!"
293
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:16,420
Whoa, no... I never said that!
294
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:19,891
As a matter of fact, I
Defend you when I hear that.
295
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,898
Look, babies, it's raggedy andy,
296
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,000
And he's not crying.
297
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,269
What's that, raggedy andy?
298
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,004
You love me?
299
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,371
Oh!
300
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,908
Mwah, mwah, mwah!
Mwah, mwah, mwah!
301
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:38,876
Think about what
They're seeing...
302
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,145
The mean woman eating
The little, redheaded kid.
303
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,649
Why is it so important
That all the babies like you?
304
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,820
It's not just babies
Who are afraid of me.
305
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:51,889
It's also small
Animals and the blind.
306
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,725
Okay, so maybe it's
Not the way you look,
307
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,694
But the way you smell.
308
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,429
Hello, dr. Walker.
309
00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,864
Ladies.
310
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,265
Dr. Pig.
311
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:06,603
All the nurses have
Been treating me like that.
312
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,540
I was just trying to do
The extra thing for a lady.
313
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,420
Yeah, but, berg,
You can't force it.
314
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:13,978
Think about that when
You force innocent babies
315
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:15,980
To watch your
Creepy puppet shows.
316
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,449
Hey! Look, can I talk
To you for a second?
317
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,018
Sure... It's a perfect time
318
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:23,054
While I'm standing here
Holding a heavy box.
319
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,521
Okay, look...
320
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:27,124
I know we got off to
A bad first impression,
321
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,027
And I made a terrible
Second impression,
322
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,930
But seriously, if you
Give me enough chances,
323
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:35,299
Eventually I come off adorable.
324
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:41,538
Well, I guess I could
Give you a second chance.
325
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,374
All right, lay it on.
326
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:44,842
Here.
327
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:46,677
Ow! Ow!
328
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,249
Something went.
329
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,918
My back... It's, uh...
330
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:57,688
It's an old flag-corps injury.
331
00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:00,324
Good! You deserve it.
332
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,994
You know, maybe
Chivalry isn't dead.
333
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:06,097
Maybe it's just avoiding
You because you're nasty.
334
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:09,233
This guy is a good guy.
335
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,834
All week long,
336
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,982
I've been really
Down about something
337
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:15,251
That's been going on
In the maternity ward.
338
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,641
The babies are
Afraid of her face.
339
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:21,979
And his caring has
Helped me through it.
340
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:25,983
So why don't you just back
Off and take your box with you!
341
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:28,052
Yeah, before we get mad.
342
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,590
Thanks, ashley.
343
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,859
I did not want to
Carry that box.
344
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,402
Hey, baby. Hey.
345
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,138
Guess who I brought
Home for dinner.
346
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:50,174
Ooh, someone to make it?
347
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:52,176
Yeah, yeah, I'd be happy to.
348
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:55,212
I mean, if I can make
Dinner, any bozo can.
349
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,350
All right, all right, I lied!
350
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:02,153
Jeez, you guys act
Like it's the first time!
351
00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:06,623
You better have a good reason.
352
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:10,561
I do! You being a fireman
Scares the hell out of me, johnny.
353
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:13,297
What if you got burned
To death or... Or worse?!
354
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:14,932
What's worse?
355
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:17,634
I guess if you're burned
Right up to the edge of death,
356
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:18,936
You know...
357
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:26,077
A-and then you just
Kind of lingered.
358
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:29,913
Johnny, I'm serious...
I'm worried about you.
359
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:33,517
Sharon, I told you I'm
Gonna be there to help him.
360
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,530
Aahhhh! Aahhh! Aahhh!
361
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,188
Ow!
362
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,656
T-that toaster is on!
363
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,863
Look, honey, I know being
A fireman is dangerous,
364
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,699
But I don't plan
On getting hurt.
365
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,812
Johnny, you cannot control that!
366
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,404
I don't want to be like
My mom... Waiting up,
367
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:56,073
Wondering whether or not
Her husband makes it home.
368
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,942
Your father
Wasn't a firefighter.
369
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:01,445
He had a whole other family.
370
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,581
Baby, I don't want to lose you.
371
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,450
Sweetie, why didn't
You just say that,
372
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,552
Instead of putting
Us through all this?
373
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,954
Because you just
Seemed so excited
374
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,856
And it was your birthday,
375
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:16,060
So I just figured, why
Not make pete the bad guy?
376
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,229
Baby, you are not gonna lose me.
377
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,864
Then don't do it! But I have to!
378
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,099
No, sweet...
379
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,335
When people ask me
What I do for a living,
380
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,570
I don't feel good
Telling them I'm a janitor.
381
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:28,705
You tell them you're a janitor?!
382
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,375
No wonder we don't
Get invited to parties!
383
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,277
See?
384
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,446
Now, you took that
Job at the law office
385
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,548
So that you could
Make a difference.
386
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:40,584
You come home every day,
Proud of all you've done.
387
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,186
I want that!
388
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,555
Johnny, live through me!
389
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,825
Sharon, this is what I want...
390
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,827
I want to save people's lives.
391
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:54,932
You are so selfish!
392
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:04,208
Hey, what are
You doin' out here?
393
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:07,244
I'm mad at johnny, and
We only have one room.
394
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,591
He wants to become a fireman!
395
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,182
Oh, that's great!
396
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:14,785
That's great... I think johnny
Would make a great fireman.
397
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,420
Not that I'd know...
398
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,723
He's married to you,
Though, so he must be brave.
399
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,636
That's what I'm worried
About... He's brave.
400
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,605
N-now, with him being a janitor,
401
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,507
At least I don't have to worry
402
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,476
About him dying
From fixing a leak.
403
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,033
Oh, y-you can die
From fixing a leak.
404
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:31,835
You're standing in water...
405
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:35,372
You cross a couple of
Live wires together, and...
406
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:36,773
Deep-fried johnny.
407
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,809
Thank you, berg.
408
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,611
Look... Okay, you're right...
409
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,746
Being a fireman is dangerous,
410
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:45,382
But johnny's got a good
Head on his shoulders.
411
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:48,419
Besides, if there's anything
That's gonna keep him safe,
412
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:50,887
It's knowing that he
Has you to come home to.
413
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,057
That was sweet. Thank you.
414
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,893
Yeah, well, I guess
Chivalry still has a pulse.
415
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,629
You're freezing.
416
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,564
I know... God, I'm so cold!
417
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,501
I know! You ought
To have a jacket.
418
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,403
It's, like, 20 degrees out here!
419
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,739
Don't bring that cold my way!
420
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,246
Oh! Hide the baby...
Boogeywoman!
421
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:17,782
Don't be silly.
422
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,650
Here, come meet my little niece.
423
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,752
Well, if you really
Want to scare the baby,
424
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:24,288
Why don't you stick a
Balloon in her crib and pop it?
425
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:25,723
He's right, irene.
426
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,892
Babies are terrified of me.
427
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,561
Come on, babies are
Easy to get along with.
428
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,730
Just... Okay, let out
The inner ashley.
429
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:35,700
No, the problem is it's
Wrapped in the outer ashley.
430
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,169
Come on, just relax.
Take a deep breath.
431
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,905
Think happy thoughts
And take one step forward.
432
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,411
Wow!
433
00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:49,024
She likes you. Come closer.
434
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,748
Wow.
435
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:53,417
Closer, closer.
436
00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:54,852
I can't believe this!
437
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,521
Can I hold her?
438
00:20:57,556 --> 00:20:59,857
Okay, let's not push our luck.
439
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,693
You're right. But
Thanks a lot, irene.
440
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:05,295
Gosh, maybe babies
Don't hate me.
441
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:10,735
No, babies hate her...
442
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,270
But our salami sure doesn't.
443
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:16,540
That was very nice of you... I
Might even say "Chivalrous."
444
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:20,111
Hey, is it wrong if I
Raise it as my own?
445
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:25,182
Do you know how much
It costs to raise a salami?
446
00:21:25,218 --> 00:21:27,017
Let's just eat it.
32160
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