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1
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,580
Oh, hey, berg.
2
00:00:17,616 --> 00:00:19,746
I'm making your favorite,
3
00:00:19,781 --> 00:00:24,878
Chopped salad with bologna.
4
00:00:24,913 --> 00:00:27,144
And I circled all your
Favorite programs
5
00:00:27,179 --> 00:00:29,110
In the "Tv guide,"
6
00:00:29,145 --> 00:00:31,574
And I put little stars
Next to "The teletubbies."
7
00:00:38,608 --> 00:00:41,071
Come on, man. I'm trying here.
8
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:42,604
Oh, oh, you're trying.
9
00:00:42,639 --> 00:00:44,870
Well, this seems
Like a fair trade.
10
00:00:44,905 --> 00:00:48,168
I get a used "Tv guide,"
And you get my mother.
11
00:00:48,204 --> 00:00:50,468
I said I wasn't going
To see her anymore,
12
00:00:50,503 --> 00:00:52,511
And I told you how sorry I am.
13
00:00:52,535 --> 00:00:54,266
You know, it's way
Too late for that.
14
00:00:54,302 --> 00:00:56,499
What's that supposed to mean?
15
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,509
You know, you can just
Stop apologizing, all right?
16
00:00:58,533 --> 00:01:00,998
Because this is the type of
Thing you can never forgive.
17
00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:02,596
Never forgive? Never...
18
00:01:02,631 --> 00:01:05,129
Okay, okay. Yeah,
Fine. You know what?
19
00:01:05,164 --> 00:01:07,095
If that's the way you feel,
20
00:01:07,130 --> 00:01:09,028
Then it's fine by me.
21
00:01:09,063 --> 00:01:10,027
Great.
22
00:01:10,062 --> 00:01:12,126
But when I think of everything
23
00:01:12,161 --> 00:01:13,536
We've been through together,
24
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,657
And what we mean to each other,
25
00:01:15,693 --> 00:01:18,523
And how you're not exactly
Perfect yourself, mister...
26
00:01:20,791 --> 00:01:23,554
You know, it makes
Me want to... Aah! Aah!
27
00:01:23,590 --> 00:01:25,687
Don't tell me
That mouse is back.
28
00:01:25,722 --> 00:01:28,420
No, berg. I cut my finger.
29
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:30,486
I think it's really bad.
30
00:01:30,521 --> 00:01:32,718
Really? Let me take a look.
31
00:01:32,753 --> 00:01:33,985
Aah.
32
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:36,749
Okay. All right,
Everything's going to be okay.
33
00:01:36,785 --> 00:01:38,383
We're just going to...
34
00:01:38,418 --> 00:01:41,681
I have to get you to
The hospital right away
35
00:01:41,716 --> 00:01:44,147
And get that finger reattached.
36
00:01:44,183 --> 00:01:46,980
What do you mean, reattached?
37
00:01:47,015 --> 00:01:48,845
I don't want you to panic,
38
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,877
But you just cut off
The tip of your finger.
39
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,909
Oh. Oh, god, berg.
I think I see a light.
40
00:01:57,577 --> 00:02:01,274
Grandmama?
41
00:02:01,309 --> 00:02:03,973
No, you don't. Look,
It's going to be fine.
42
00:02:04,008 --> 00:02:06,705
I put the tip on ice.
Let's go. Come on.
43
00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:10,237
Okay.
44
00:02:10,273 --> 00:02:13,602
I just wanted to make
You a chopped salad.
45
00:02:13,637 --> 00:02:15,969
Next time, hold the finger.
46
00:02:30,031 --> 00:02:32,961
You know, if you would have
Cut the tip of your finger off,
47
00:02:32,997 --> 00:02:35,693
I would have taken you to
The hospital in an ambulance.
48
00:02:35,728 --> 00:02:36,927
Look, a cab will be faster.
49
00:02:36,962 --> 00:02:39,359
You know what? You may
Not be able to relate to this,
50
00:02:39,394 --> 00:02:41,925
But you can trust me because
That's the kind of friend I am,
51
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,024
Loyal and trustworthy,
Not like some people!
52
00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:45,190
Are you still on this?
53
00:02:45,225 --> 00:02:46,689
Yes!
54
00:02:46,724 --> 00:02:49,322
What's it going to take? I
Cut my finger off for you!
55
00:02:49,357 --> 00:02:54,387
No, you cut your
Finger off for dinner!
56
00:02:54,421 --> 00:02:56,919
Forget this. Why
Don't I just walk?
57
00:02:56,954 --> 00:02:59,285
'cause you'll bleed out
In around four blocks.
58
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,428
All right, I was just
Posing the question.
59
00:03:01,452 --> 00:03:03,416
Look, pete, listen to me now.
60
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,916
You're going to be fine.
61
00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:09,047
Oh, my god. I felt that.
62
00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:11,413
Relax, all right? You
Have up to six hours
63
00:03:11,448 --> 00:03:13,679
To get your finger
Reattached, okay?
64
00:03:13,714 --> 00:03:15,912
Just don't panic,
Apply pressure... Taxi!
65
00:03:19,879 --> 00:03:21,743
And keep the area dry.
66
00:03:27,509 --> 00:03:29,039
Hey, baby. How'd it go today?
67
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,184
Lousy. There's not
One law firm in boston
68
00:03:31,207 --> 00:03:33,283
That will hire me
As a legal assistant.
69
00:03:33,307 --> 00:03:35,338
I couldn't meet a lawyer
70
00:03:35,373 --> 00:03:39,003
If I was followed by
A tobacco company.
71
00:03:41,604 --> 00:03:43,934
Okay, why don't we
Make that plan b?
72
00:03:45,801 --> 00:03:48,832
I mean, so what if I haven't
Started law school yet?
73
00:03:48,867 --> 00:03:51,431
I miss the old days
When I got what I wanted
74
00:03:51,466 --> 00:03:52,831
'cause I'm cute.
75
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,763
Why don't you take that job
76
00:03:54,798 --> 00:03:56,762
Over at powell,
Brown, and johnson?
77
00:03:56,797 --> 00:03:57,762
What?
78
00:03:57,797 --> 00:03:59,994
They called while you were out.
79
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:02,827
Oh, my god! Why didn't
You tell me right away?
80
00:04:02,862 --> 00:04:04,459
To wait until I'd
Be a bigger hero.
81
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,026
Now go, go, go.
82
00:04:06,061 --> 00:04:08,524
They said be there in
Half an hour. Don't be late.
83
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,301
God, I haven't even started,
84
00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:11,801
And they're already
Busting my hump.
85
00:04:11,825 --> 00:04:12,890
Isn't that great?
86
00:04:12,925 --> 00:04:14,555
Hey, shar. So, you ready?
87
00:04:14,591 --> 00:04:16,232
Oh, ash, I can't help you
With your homework thing.
88
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,153
I got a job interview.
89
00:04:18,189 --> 00:04:19,520
Oh, no, no, no, sharon.
90
00:04:19,555 --> 00:04:21,431
I really need a good
Grade on this psych paper,
91
00:04:21,455 --> 00:04:22,852
And you're the perfect subject.
92
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:24,785
You're so interesting
And colorful.
93
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:26,951
Oh, uh, sorry.
Johnny will do it.
94
00:04:30,517 --> 00:04:34,347
Fine. I'll get a d.
95
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,045
How you holding up?
96
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:46,643
I'm okay. I think
I'm okay. Am I okay?
97
00:04:46,679 --> 00:04:48,276
Tell me I'm okay.
98
00:04:48,311 --> 00:04:50,241
You're going to be fine.
99
00:04:50,277 --> 00:04:51,875
You'll be fine.
100
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:55,040
I've seen a number
Of reattachments.
101
00:04:55,075 --> 00:04:58,272
See? It's a clean
Cut, which is good,
102
00:04:58,307 --> 00:05:01,804
Because that way,
When they reattach it,
103
00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,736
You won't see a scar.
104
00:05:03,772 --> 00:05:05,302
Oh, my god!
105
00:05:05,337 --> 00:05:07,968
Berg, there's two
Fingers in there.
106
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,767
No, no, one's a garbanzo bean.
107
00:05:10,802 --> 00:05:13,766
Hey, listen, I want to
Talk about your mom.
108
00:05:13,801 --> 00:05:15,265
Oh, please, drop it.
109
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,698
No, we have to talk about this.
110
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,642
Fine. Fine. I'm sure you have
111
00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:21,763
A perfectly
Reasonable explanation,
112
00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:24,662
One that will make me feel
Completely comfortable
113
00:05:24,697 --> 00:05:26,739
At using my mother
As your plaything.
114
00:05:26,763 --> 00:05:28,893
In fact, I'm looking
Forward to this.
115
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,026
This is going to be super.
116
00:05:31,061 --> 00:05:32,837
All right, pete,
I'm listening. Go!
117
00:05:32,861 --> 00:05:36,057
Look, I never intended
For this to happen, okay?
118
00:05:36,092 --> 00:05:39,289
She was nervous about
Her date with captain shaw,
119
00:05:39,324 --> 00:05:41,455
And I started to reassure her,
120
00:05:41,490 --> 00:05:43,621
And then she started telling me
121
00:05:43,657 --> 00:05:45,620
What a great guy I was,
122
00:05:45,656 --> 00:05:48,119
And I just finished
Zipping up her dress,
123
00:05:48,155 --> 00:05:49,752
And then we were...
124
00:05:49,787 --> 00:05:51,984
Will you spare me
The details, stumpy?
125
00:05:55,318 --> 00:05:56,482
Where are we?
126
00:05:56,518 --> 00:05:58,582
I don't know. Where are we?
127
00:05:58,617 --> 00:06:00,781
Excuse me. Hey, where are we?
128
00:06:00,816 --> 00:06:02,280
Uh, going hospital.
129
00:06:02,315 --> 00:06:05,379
No, I said the hospital
Was on 5th street.
130
00:06:05,415 --> 00:06:07,478
You've taken us all the way...
131
00:06:07,514 --> 00:06:13,143
God, how many hookers
Does one town need?
132
00:06:13,178 --> 00:06:16,842
You say hospital. You
Not say which hospital.
133
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,052
I did say which hospital.
134
00:06:18,076 --> 00:06:19,552
I said the hospital
On 5th street.
135
00:06:19,576 --> 00:06:21,151
All right, which hospital
Are you taking us to?
136
00:06:21,175 --> 00:06:24,972
Well, I be honest. I'm
New in this country.
137
00:06:25,008 --> 00:06:28,037
I'm not sure.
138
00:06:28,072 --> 00:06:29,904
Oh, my god. All
Right, all right.
139
00:06:29,939 --> 00:06:32,569
Just, look, make a left
At the next street...
140
00:06:32,604 --> 00:06:34,346
Don't make a left.
U-turn, u-turn.
141
00:06:34,370 --> 00:06:36,800
Ignore him. Make a
Left at the next street...
142
00:06:36,836 --> 00:06:38,578
Please, please, one at a time.
143
00:06:38,602 --> 00:06:40,477
The one who did the bonky-bonk
144
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,738
With the other one's
Mother, you first.
145
00:06:48,331 --> 00:06:50,629
Hi. Excuse me.
146
00:06:50,664 --> 00:06:53,528
I'm sharon carter.
I'm here about the job.
147
00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:56,292
Oh, good. Will you be
Able to start tomorrow?
148
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:57,692
Oh. Uh, sure.
149
00:06:57,728 --> 00:07:01,058
Don't you want to
Interview me first?
150
00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:06,222
All right. Can
You ride a bicycle?
151
00:07:06,257 --> 00:07:09,121
Yeah. Why?
152
00:07:09,156 --> 00:07:13,620
We find it a useful skill
For bike messengers.
153
00:07:14,788 --> 00:07:16,952
No, no, I'm not here
To be a bike messenger.
154
00:07:16,988 --> 00:07:19,450
I want to have contact
With the lawyers.
155
00:07:19,486 --> 00:07:22,849
Stab your husband.
That's what I did.
156
00:07:26,416 --> 00:07:30,813
Well, you want the job or not?
157
00:07:30,848 --> 00:07:32,412
No. I want to be
In the trenches,
158
00:07:32,447 --> 00:07:34,845
You know, defending the
Rights of the less fortunate.
159
00:07:34,881 --> 00:07:36,311
That's why I want
To be a lawyer,
160
00:07:36,346 --> 00:07:37,784
And I want to
Learn from the best.
161
00:07:37,813 --> 00:07:40,175
So if I have to come here
Every day and beg for a job,
162
00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:41,709
Then that's what
I'm going to do.
163
00:07:41,744 --> 00:07:44,208
Thank you. I'll notify security.
164
00:07:44,243 --> 00:07:46,807
You'll have to excuse betty.
165
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:50,739
She's been like this ever
Since she passed away.
166
00:07:53,007 --> 00:07:55,137
Mark breslin. I'm an attorney.
167
00:07:55,172 --> 00:07:57,402
Uh, I gather that
You're looking for a job.
168
00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:58,536
Yes.
169
00:07:58,571 --> 00:08:00,535
Well, it sounds as
Though you're serious
170
00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:02,234
In your commitment to the law.
171
00:08:02,269 --> 00:08:03,734
Yes, sir. Absolutely.
172
00:08:03,769 --> 00:08:05,633
Can you work long hours
Without complaining?
173
00:08:05,668 --> 00:08:07,899
Not without complaining.
174
00:08:07,934 --> 00:08:09,398
Well, neither can I,
175
00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:11,498
But you certainly
Got a lot of passion,
176
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,964
And that's what it takes
To make a good lawyer.
177
00:08:13,998 --> 00:08:15,596
I'll tell you what.
178
00:08:15,631 --> 00:08:17,462
Um, I'm looking
For an assistant.
179
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,372
You want me to work for you
180
00:08:19,396 --> 00:08:21,393
At one of the top
Law firms in boston?
181
00:08:21,428 --> 00:08:23,093
Oh, no. I don't work here.
182
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:26,725
Um, I'm representing a
Client in a settlement meeting.
183
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,091
Oh. Well, if you're butting
Heads with the big guys,
184
00:08:29,126 --> 00:08:30,457
Then I am raring to go.
185
00:08:30,493 --> 00:08:32,956
Great. I'd like you
To start right away.
186
00:08:32,991 --> 00:08:35,254
All right. Well, it's
Almost lunchtime,
187
00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:36,621
But okay.
188
00:08:39,022 --> 00:08:41,953
You should consider
Yourself lucky, johnny.
189
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:45,150
Therapy is usually
Reserved for the complicated.
190
00:08:45,186 --> 00:08:47,750
Now, if any of these
Questions are too personal,
191
00:08:47,786 --> 00:08:49,816
You just let me know.
192
00:08:49,852 --> 00:08:51,382
No, no, go ahead.
193
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:54,181
Hit me with your
Mumbo-jumbo, dr. Fraud.
194
00:08:54,216 --> 00:08:55,880
That's very clever.
195
00:08:55,915 --> 00:08:59,946
Have you ever taken a
Psychological test before?
196
00:08:59,981 --> 00:09:01,878
Yes, once at a sleepover
197
00:09:01,913 --> 00:09:04,478
When the ouija board got old.
198
00:09:04,512 --> 00:09:06,909
You know, maybe I'm
Interviewing the wrong subject.
199
00:09:06,945 --> 00:09:09,041
There's a st. Bernard
Around the corner
200
00:09:09,077 --> 00:09:11,240
That can open a door.
201
00:09:11,276 --> 00:09:14,173
I'm okay. Hit me.
Come on. Go ahead.
202
00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:16,673
Okay. Now, I'm going to
Ask you some questions,
203
00:09:16,708 --> 00:09:19,204
And then I'm going to write
204
00:09:19,239 --> 00:09:21,837
A complete profile
Of your personality.
205
00:09:21,872 --> 00:09:23,803
Okay. Tell me what you see.
206
00:09:23,839 --> 00:09:26,301
Ink.
207
00:09:26,337 --> 00:09:28,234
Okay. Look again,
208
00:09:28,270 --> 00:09:32,066
And this time, use
Your imagination.
209
00:09:32,101 --> 00:09:35,865
You know, make
Play-play in the head.
210
00:09:38,632 --> 00:09:40,729
Come on.
211
00:09:40,765 --> 00:09:42,829
You know, this would be
212
00:09:42,864 --> 00:09:45,627
A lot easier on both of us
213
00:09:45,663 --> 00:09:47,661
If I had a few drinks.
214
00:09:47,696 --> 00:09:49,526
Pictures are hard.
215
00:09:49,562 --> 00:09:52,659
Why don't we try
Some multiple choice?
216
00:09:52,694 --> 00:09:53,925
Okay.
217
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,989
Okay. What would you do
In the following situation?
218
00:09:58,024 --> 00:10:00,822
You see a person
Who owes you $100...
219
00:10:00,857 --> 00:10:01,822
Okay.
220
00:10:01,857 --> 00:10:05,554
I would never lend anyone money.
221
00:10:05,589 --> 00:10:07,486
Okay, but say in a universe
222
00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:09,952
Where that might be possible,
223
00:10:09,987 --> 00:10:12,651
What do you think you would do?
224
00:10:12,686 --> 00:10:15,949
I don't know. Why did I
Lend this person money?
225
00:10:15,984 --> 00:10:17,816
It doesn't matter.
226
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,559
Yeah, that's easy
For you to say.
227
00:10:19,583 --> 00:10:21,426
Meanwhile, I'm out 100 bucks.
228
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:24,079
Forget it. Okay, moving on.
229
00:10:24,114 --> 00:10:27,278
Sexual fantasies.
Would you say you have...
230
00:10:27,314 --> 00:10:29,677
Next.
231
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:34,609
Yes, but would you...
232
00:10:36,444 --> 00:10:39,574
Next.
233
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,417
We're in plenty of
Time. Just sit down,
234
00:10:43,441 --> 00:10:45,082
Keep your hand elevated,
I'll get us right in.
235
00:10:45,106 --> 00:10:46,584
All right, tell them
I'm a hand model.
236
00:10:49,905 --> 00:10:51,702
Hi, I'm dr. Michael berg,
237
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,414
And my patient has cut
Off the tip of his finger.
238
00:10:53,437 --> 00:10:54,912
We need to get him
In a pre-op right away.
239
00:10:54,936 --> 00:10:57,900
Pete, hand me the bag.
240
00:10:57,935 --> 00:11:00,665
What?
241
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,498
The bag with your fingertip.
242
00:11:03,533 --> 00:11:05,230
Y-y-you had it.
243
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:11,261
No, you... Oh, my god.
244
00:11:11,297 --> 00:11:13,794
What?
245
00:11:13,829 --> 00:11:17,325
I left it in the cab.
246
00:11:19,527 --> 00:11:21,190
You're kidding me. You're kid...
247
00:11:21,226 --> 00:11:22,624
You did this on purpose!
248
00:11:22,659 --> 00:11:24,489
I did not. Yuh-huh.
249
00:11:24,525 --> 00:11:26,367
Because you're just
Trying to get even with me
250
00:11:26,391 --> 00:11:27,722
For being with your mother,
251
00:11:27,757 --> 00:11:28,899
So you threw my finger away!
252
00:11:28,923 --> 00:11:30,554
Keep it down.
253
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:32,698
All right, look, that
Is ridiculous, okay?
254
00:11:32,722 --> 00:11:35,052
Look, hey, we have
Plenty of time, all right?
255
00:11:35,087 --> 00:11:36,463
I will get it back.
Don't worry about it.
256
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:37,851
Are you sure?
257
00:11:37,887 --> 00:11:40,617
Of course I'm
Sure. Hey, high four.
258
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,410
All right, all right,
259
00:11:56,446 --> 00:11:58,355
One more trip to the
Airport, back to the hotel.
260
00:11:58,378 --> 00:11:59,409
Excuse me.
261
00:11:59,445 --> 00:12:00,609
I'm still here.
262
00:12:00,644 --> 00:12:01,643
Right.
263
00:12:01,678 --> 00:12:04,140
So let me get this straight...
264
00:12:04,176 --> 00:12:07,040
You left your finger
In one of our cabs?
265
00:12:07,075 --> 00:12:09,939
No, not my finger.
266
00:12:09,974 --> 00:12:11,872
My friend's finger, all right?
267
00:12:13,806 --> 00:12:16,136
Come on. Will you help
Me out here or what?
268
00:12:16,172 --> 00:12:18,180
What was the cab's number?
269
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:20,935
I don't know. It was yellow.
270
00:12:20,970 --> 00:12:22,178
You see our problem here?
271
00:12:22,202 --> 00:12:25,700
Okay. Wait, wait,
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
272
00:12:25,735 --> 00:12:26,699
I remember something
About the driver, though.
273
00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:27,911
All right. That might help.
274
00:12:27,935 --> 00:12:30,997
He had an accent. He was
From a foreign country.
275
00:12:32,766 --> 00:12:34,263
Okay, all right.
276
00:12:34,298 --> 00:12:37,394
Um, look, this is my
Best friend's finger,
277
00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:40,561
And, uh, he thinks I
Lost it on purpose.
278
00:12:40,596 --> 00:12:42,360
Can you believe that?
279
00:12:42,394 --> 00:12:43,626
Yes, I'm mad at him,
280
00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:45,391
But who wouldn't
Be after what he did?
281
00:12:45,427 --> 00:12:49,857
Must be pretty serious
If you cut off his finger.
282
00:12:49,892 --> 00:12:51,657
He dated my mother.
283
00:12:51,692 --> 00:12:54,455
And you only cut off his finger?
284
00:12:56,122 --> 00:12:57,454
Dispatch.
285
00:12:57,489 --> 00:12:59,920
What? Actually,
Hold on a second.
286
00:12:59,955 --> 00:13:01,119
Really?
287
00:13:01,154 --> 00:13:02,730
It wasn't a big toe, was it?
288
00:13:02,754 --> 00:13:06,018
No, it was a finger.
289
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:09,182
What kind of place
Are you running here?
290
00:13:09,217 --> 00:13:12,048
No, eddie, I guess
You can keep the toe.
291
00:13:16,016 --> 00:13:19,013
Oh, look at this
Conference room.
292
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,578
It's all to intimidate you.
293
00:13:21,613 --> 00:13:25,976
They want to make you feel
Like you're nobody, shelly.
294
00:13:26,012 --> 00:13:28,308
It's sharon.
295
00:13:28,344 --> 00:13:29,608
Sharon.
296
00:13:29,644 --> 00:13:32,273
Gosh, this is so exciting.
My first settlement meeting.
297
00:13:32,308 --> 00:13:34,273
So what would you
Like me to do, sir?
298
00:13:34,307 --> 00:13:36,505
I want you to pretend
That you're my associate.
299
00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:38,517
You sit up straight,
You look steely-eyed,
300
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:39,949
And you put this
Pen in your pocket.
301
00:13:39,973 --> 00:13:41,037
Okay, why?
302
00:13:41,072 --> 00:13:42,904
It's a nice pen.
303
00:13:42,939 --> 00:13:45,368
Um, okay, so what
Is this case about?
304
00:13:45,404 --> 00:13:47,801
My client, single father of two,
305
00:13:47,837 --> 00:13:50,500
Lost the use of his legs
Due to the negligence
306
00:13:50,536 --> 00:13:53,033
Of the company
Represented by this firm.
307
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:54,765
Oh, that is terrible.
308
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,731
Now, how much do these
Cases usually settle for?
309
00:13:57,766 --> 00:13:59,397
Usually in the millions.
310
00:13:59,432 --> 00:14:00,897
Nice.
311
00:14:00,932 --> 00:14:03,029
I mean... That's bad,
312
00:14:03,064 --> 00:14:06,093
Awful that he lost
The use of his legs,
313
00:14:06,129 --> 00:14:08,093
But it's pretty good.
314
00:14:10,094 --> 00:14:12,625
Mr. Breslin, we have
Reviewed the facts
315
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:15,157
Of your client's case,
And although we feel
316
00:14:15,192 --> 00:14:17,756
This is nothing more
Than a nuisance suit,
317
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:20,422
In the interest of
Resolving this promptly,
318
00:14:20,457 --> 00:14:22,555
We have prepared
A certified check
319
00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:24,086
In the amount of $30,000.
320
00:14:24,122 --> 00:14:27,052
$30,000? Take it or leave it.
321
00:14:27,087 --> 00:14:29,951
Boy, are you guys in
For a surprise. Tell him.
322
00:14:29,987 --> 00:14:32,083
We'll take it.
323
00:14:32,119 --> 00:14:33,083
What?
324
00:14:33,119 --> 00:14:35,349
Thank you.
325
00:14:35,385 --> 00:14:37,848
$30,000? What are you thinking?
326
00:14:37,884 --> 00:14:40,401
I was thinking I was
Going to get $20,000.
327
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,479
Oh, daddy's had a good day.
328
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,044
Okay.
329
00:14:49,079 --> 00:14:51,343
One last test.
330
00:14:51,379 --> 00:14:53,476
I'm going to hold up a card,
331
00:14:53,512 --> 00:14:57,041
And you have 10 seconds
To draw what you see.
332
00:14:57,076 --> 00:14:59,007
It's just your impressions.
333
00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:01,406
Doesn't have to
Be a work of art.
334
00:15:01,441 --> 00:15:05,872
Okay... Time.
335
00:15:05,907 --> 00:15:07,704
Let's see what you got.
336
00:15:16,469 --> 00:15:19,966
It's my fingers.
337
00:15:21,701 --> 00:15:23,397
That's cute. That's very cute.
338
00:15:23,432 --> 00:15:24,397
Yeah.
339
00:15:24,432 --> 00:15:27,696
Sorry to draw them so chubby.
340
00:15:27,731 --> 00:15:31,194
Johnny, why are
You stonewalling me?
341
00:15:31,229 --> 00:15:34,226
Ooh, stonewalling.
342
00:15:34,261 --> 00:15:36,860
Is that one of your
Big doctor words?
343
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:39,692
Well, I'm sorry if I couldn't
Be a little more colorful.
344
00:15:39,727 --> 00:15:42,790
Oh, no, johnny, you are
Surprisingly colorful,
345
00:15:42,825 --> 00:15:45,989
Bordering on psychotic.
346
00:15:46,024 --> 00:15:47,788
Right.
347
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:50,654
I didn't even answer any
Of your stupid questions.
348
00:15:50,689 --> 00:15:51,954
Oh, no.
349
00:15:51,989 --> 00:15:54,919
No, it's not your answers
That tell me about you,
350
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:57,284
It's the way you
Respond to the questions.
351
00:15:57,319 --> 00:16:02,282
You are passive-aggressive,
352
00:16:02,317 --> 00:16:05,482
You have trouble with authority,
353
00:16:05,517 --> 00:16:09,546
And I'm pretty sure you've
Got a drinking problem.
354
00:16:09,582 --> 00:16:12,012
What... What are you doing?
355
00:16:12,047 --> 00:16:13,778
Don't write that down.
356
00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:15,711
Write it down? Are you kidding?
357
00:16:15,746 --> 00:16:17,643
I'm hoping to have it published.
358
00:16:17,679 --> 00:16:19,009
You can't publish that!
359
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:21,842
That kind of stuff will end
Up on my permanent record!
360
00:16:21,877 --> 00:16:23,185
Oh, johnny, don't worry.
361
00:16:23,209 --> 00:16:25,052
The only people who read this
362
00:16:25,076 --> 00:16:26,818
Subscribe to medical journals...
363
00:16:26,842 --> 00:16:28,305
Or have the internet.
364
00:16:28,341 --> 00:16:30,205
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
365
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,871
I saw a butterfly in the ink!
366
00:16:32,906 --> 00:16:36,336
It's a butterfly!
367
00:16:39,236 --> 00:16:42,534
Welcome to your new office.
368
00:16:42,570 --> 00:16:47,965
It isn't much, but...
Well, it isn't much.
369
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,598
How'd it go?
370
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,630
Oh, just like I said.
371
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:54,663
Here's your check,
Minus my half.
372
00:16:54,698 --> 00:16:56,562
Thank you.
373
00:16:56,597 --> 00:16:58,828
And I think you have
Something that belongs to me.
374
00:16:58,863 --> 00:17:00,660
Oh, yeah. Thanks for the chair.
375
00:17:00,695 --> 00:17:02,992
Uh, you know, the
Right wheel sticks a bit.
376
00:17:03,027 --> 00:17:04,125
It pinched my thumb.
377
00:17:04,161 --> 00:17:05,891
So sue me.
378
00:17:08,059 --> 00:17:10,590
Oh, sharon, you
Can use that chair,
379
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:12,689
And I'll get you a desk later.
380
00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:16,488
Mr. Breslin, I'm not quite
Sure how to say this, but, uh,
381
00:17:16,522 --> 00:17:18,753
I don't think
This job is for me.
382
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,564
What are you talking about?
383
00:17:20,588 --> 00:17:22,825
You can get a lot of
Practical experience.
384
00:17:22,854 --> 00:17:24,695
Hell, I'll even let
You do legal work,
385
00:17:24,719 --> 00:17:26,395
Which is technically illegal.
386
00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:28,316
No, sir, I'm quitting
Because I think
387
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:29,849
You're the world's worst lawyer.
388
00:17:29,884 --> 00:17:31,826
Sharon, I do not
Choose my clients.
389
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:34,080
Yes, but you help
Them break the law.
390
00:17:34,115 --> 00:17:36,979
Bend. Bend. That's
What we lawyers do.
391
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,245
Not this lawyer.
392
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,923
Oh, sharon, don't be so naive.
393
00:17:39,947 --> 00:17:42,055
You know, when I
First started practice,
394
00:17:42,079 --> 00:17:43,588
It was to defend the rights
395
00:17:43,612 --> 00:17:45,687
Of those who could
Not defend themselves,
396
00:17:45,711 --> 00:17:46,942
And you know why?
397
00:17:46,977 --> 00:17:48,319
Because they were guilty as sin.
398
00:17:48,343 --> 00:17:49,642
So I decided
399
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,119
That if I'm going
To represent scum,
400
00:17:51,142 --> 00:17:53,406
I might as well represent
Scum who can pay me.
401
00:17:53,442 --> 00:17:55,605
Oh, okay, so you just gave up.
402
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,916
No, I wised up, and
You will, too, someday.
403
00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:00,703
I-I feel sorry for you, sir.
404
00:18:00,739 --> 00:18:02,936
Oh, now you sound
Just like my son.
405
00:18:02,971 --> 00:18:05,001
He's a judge.
406
00:18:08,836 --> 00:18:11,099
You know what?
Okay, I might be naive,
407
00:18:11,135 --> 00:18:13,198
But at least I
Never stop trying.
408
00:18:13,234 --> 00:18:15,276
Well, I knew that the
First time I saw you.
409
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,464
Well, goodbye.
410
00:18:16,499 --> 00:18:18,464
Goodbye.
411
00:18:21,331 --> 00:18:23,795
Okay, you know
What really gets me?
412
00:18:23,830 --> 00:18:25,694
Here I am accusing
You of being a quitter,
413
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,760
And then I go and quit.
414
00:18:26,796 --> 00:18:28,627
Hypocrite.
415
00:18:28,661 --> 00:18:29,893
Well, I am not quitting.
416
00:18:29,928 --> 00:18:31,669
I am sticking around until
You clean up your act.
417
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,190
By the time I am
Finished with you,
418
00:18:33,226 --> 00:18:35,035
You will have a
Respectable law practice.
419
00:18:35,059 --> 00:18:37,156
Yeah? Well, that's
Assuming that I hire you.
420
00:18:37,191 --> 00:18:38,556
Too late. I'm hired,
421
00:18:38,591 --> 00:18:40,366
But I'm expensive, so
Let me see your books.
422
00:18:40,390 --> 00:18:41,354
Okay.
423
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:42,487
I got two sets.
424
00:18:42,523 --> 00:18:45,352
Which one would you like to see?
425
00:18:48,487 --> 00:18:50,851
Pete, I am so sorry.
426
00:18:50,887 --> 00:18:53,050
I couldn't find it.
427
00:18:53,085 --> 00:18:54,783
You're not serious.
428
00:18:54,818 --> 00:18:57,315
I checked the cab company,
The police, everywhere.
429
00:18:57,350 --> 00:19:02,646
I, uh, I don't know
Where your finger is.
430
00:19:03,815 --> 00:19:06,412
I, uh, I don't know what to say.
431
00:19:06,447 --> 00:19:08,611
I-I'm sorry. I lost it.
432
00:19:08,646 --> 00:19:11,510
Isn't that funny? We
Both lost a finger today.
433
00:19:11,545 --> 00:19:13,509
You idiot!
434
00:19:13,544 --> 00:19:17,173
I'm... I can get you a toe.
435
00:19:19,109 --> 00:19:24,438
Can you ever... Ever forgive me?
436
00:19:24,473 --> 00:19:27,737
Wait, you wouldn't forgive
Me for being with your mother?
437
00:19:27,773 --> 00:19:29,770
You see, here's the thing...
438
00:19:29,805 --> 00:19:31,468
You still have your mother.
439
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,234
All I have is a bloody nub.
440
00:19:33,270 --> 00:19:36,066
Okay, look, obviously, pete...
441
00:19:36,102 --> 00:19:37,133
Oh, wait, what,
442
00:19:37,168 --> 00:19:39,099
You're going to
Say something now
443
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:42,098
To make me feel better
About not having a finger?
444
00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:44,097
Oh, well, this should be good.
445
00:19:44,132 --> 00:19:46,497
I can't wait to hear
It. Okay, berg, go.
446
00:19:46,532 --> 00:19:49,429
Okay, I see your point.
447
00:19:49,463 --> 00:19:50,828
And?
448
00:19:50,864 --> 00:19:55,393
And I forgive you
For seeing my mother.
449
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,859
Thank you.
450
00:19:57,894 --> 00:19:58,924
All right.
451
00:19:58,959 --> 00:19:59,924
Okay.
452
00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:01,156
Was that that hard?
453
00:20:01,192 --> 00:20:03,590
Do you forgive me
For losing your finger?
454
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:05,922
No.
455
00:20:05,957 --> 00:20:09,820
See, it just so happens
You didn't lose my finger.
456
00:20:09,856 --> 00:20:12,819
They sewed it on
While you were gone.
457
00:20:12,855 --> 00:20:15,585
And I got a sucker.
458
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:18,184
What? I thought I
Left it in the cab.
459
00:20:18,219 --> 00:20:20,616
You did, but I grabbed
It before you noticed.
460
00:20:20,651 --> 00:20:23,382
See, you should always check
A cab for your belongings
461
00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:24,482
Before you get out.
462
00:20:24,517 --> 00:20:26,014
Hold it.
463
00:20:26,049 --> 00:20:27,091
You made me go through
All this for nothing?
464
00:20:27,115 --> 00:20:28,446
No, no, not for nothing.
465
00:20:28,482 --> 00:20:30,612
You had to be taught
The lesson of forgiveness.
466
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,412
I take it back. You can't.
467
00:20:32,447 --> 00:20:33,756
It's already out there.
I already accepted it.
468
00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:35,244
Oh, yeah?
469
00:20:35,279 --> 00:20:36,655
Well, those stitches
Are still fresh, you know.
470
00:20:36,679 --> 00:20:38,076
One little tug
471
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,188
And that little
Piggy comes right off!
472
00:20:46,175 --> 00:20:47,939
Hey, thanks for the knife, man.
473
00:20:47,974 --> 00:20:49,571
You know, you were right.
474
00:20:49,606 --> 00:20:53,537
All I needed was a hobby to
Take my mind off my finger.
475
00:20:53,572 --> 00:20:56,668
It gets a little
Slippery from the soap.
476
00:20:56,703 --> 00:20:58,479
You know, I think
We both learned
477
00:20:58,503 --> 00:21:00,612
A pretty valuable
Lesson about safety here.
478
00:21:00,636 --> 00:21:04,333
Damn, this stupid
Thing is stuck again.
479
00:21:04,368 --> 00:21:06,232
Berg, don't put
Your fingers in there.
480
00:21:06,267 --> 00:21:07,431
Here... Use my knife.
481
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:09,298
Thanks.
482
00:21:09,333 --> 00:21:10,863
There we go.
483
00:21:10,899 --> 00:21:15,095
Hey, you want to
Make a chopped salad?
484
00:21:15,131 --> 00:21:17,161
Yeah, right. What,
Are we both idiots?
485
00:21:17,196 --> 00:21:19,138
Here's your knife back, buddy.
486
00:21:19,162 --> 00:21:21,393
Thanks.
487
00:21:21,428 --> 00:21:24,325
Aah! Just kidding.
34597
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