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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,156 This picture is From my senior year. 2 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,747 You can tell because my cats Are wearing graduation caps. 3 00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:21,420 High school must have been Really tough for you, huh? 4 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,666 Not really. I was home-schooled. 5 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,124 Class president... Ha. 6 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,492 What about you, huh? 7 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,827 You were probably Mr. Hottie-body, 8 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,695 Captain of the football team. 9 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:33,465 Hey, what do I look Like, a dumb jock? 10 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:36,101 No, I was captain Of the flag corps. 11 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:38,670 You were on drill team? 12 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,806 flag corps. Drill Team's for geeks. 13 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,308 Listen, um, 14 00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,478 Irene, I hope this Doesn't sound too hokey, 15 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,713 But I like being with you... 16 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,650 Even when one Of us isn't on top. 17 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:56,488 Yeah. I love this "In Between" time too. 18 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,290 Irene, have you ever thought 19 00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,625 About taking what We have in here 20 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,828 And seeing if it works in Front of other people? 21 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:06,598 I'm not having a second Count of public indecency 22 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:07,933 On my record. 23 00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:10,269 I-I mean like a date. 24 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,237 Let me take you to Carlo's tomorrow night... 25 00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:15,374 You and me... For Dinner... Like a real couple. 26 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,544 Well, I never thought of Myself as the kind of girl 27 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,080 Who'd be coupled with A handsome doctor. 28 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,748 Oh, it's bringing up a Lot of esteem issues. 29 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,192 Hey. 30 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,094 What are you doin'? 31 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,963 Workin' on my résumé. 32 00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,211 Hey, shar, where Did you go to school? 33 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,235 Oh, tufts. Go jumbos! 34 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:50,042 Oh, yeah, that's right. 35 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,809 M.I.T. 36 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,545 Okay. 37 00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:54,879 All done. 38 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,582 I am gonna go to the Copy store in the morning, 39 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,117 So meet me at 9:00 a.M., 40 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,364 And we'll start Pounding the pavement. 41 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:03,533 You're letting ashley Help you find a job? 42 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,957 Yeah, we're just Helping each other out... 43 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:08,026 I need work, she needs a friend. 44 00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:10,895 You really need a job that bad? 45 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,697 Oh. 46 00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,066 While you're out tomorrow, 47 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,945 I can take your Car into the shop. 48 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,736 You don't need to. Ashley Took it to her mechanic. 49 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:21,473 Oh, great... Two Women and a mechanic? 50 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:23,108 What's that gonna cost me? 51 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,876 Nothing. He did it for free. 52 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:27,446 In exchange, ashley Checked a mole on his back. 53 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,648 I was gonna handle that. 54 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,951 Johnny... 55 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:36,321 I don't think you know A lot about moles. 56 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:40,092 Hey. 57 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:42,927 What are you all dressed Up for? You got a hot date? 58 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:47,031 Maybe. It just so happens That the ex is coming over 59 00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:51,069 To get a sweater that she Conveniently forgot here. 60 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,507 And I think you know What that means. 61 00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,775 Absolutely. 62 00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,612 It means I was justified In giving it to her. 63 00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:03,281 What? 64 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,428 What do you mean, You gave it to her? 65 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,119 Well, she asked for it. 66 00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,654 I picked it up And went like this 67 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,256 And handed it to her. 68 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:14,326 It was a fairly simple Exchange, really. 69 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,761 That's it? D-did She say anything? 70 00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,896 Yeah. She said to Tell pete thanks. 71 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,332 She said that? 72 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:24,902 Yeah, well... Not The "Tell pete" part. 73 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,108 I can't believe I missed her! 74 00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:32,043 And by only, like, five seconds. 75 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:34,512 Marti! 76 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,081 Oh, sorry, irene. 77 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,383 Oh, uh-oh... Hunk stampede! 78 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,584 Marti. 79 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:42,054 Oh, pete... Slow and strong! 80 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,822 Marti! 81 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:55,634 She didn't see me. 82 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:58,603 Peter dunville, when are You going to find a woman 83 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:01,773 Who appreciates you for the Remarkable man that you are? 84 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:05,644 Stop it. 85 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,912 No. I'm serious. 86 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:10,481 A woman needs to make a Man like you feel special. 87 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:11,983 It's been so long, 88 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:15,186 I think I've forgotten How special I am. 89 00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:20,025 Oh, chin up, my godlike friend. 90 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,093 Thanks, irene. 91 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:25,897 Uh, pete... I'm usually Not this forward, 92 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,833 But since you're so Down and vulnerable, 93 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:32,136 I've got a reservation For two tonight at carlo's. 94 00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:33,872 Would you care to join me? 95 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,507 Why do you have a Reservation for two? 96 00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:39,678 Oh well... 97 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,282 I-I find when I make it for one, 98 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,951 It sounds too pathetic, 99 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,485 So I make it for two, 100 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:51,155 And then when I get there, I pretend I was stood up. 101 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,125 Wait, pete! 102 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,194 Look, irene, it's just 103 00:04:56,229 --> 00:05:00,098 I don't think I'd make Good company tonight. 104 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,234 You could be bound and gagged And you'd be good company. 105 00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:08,239 You're picturing That, aren't you? 106 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,578 Come on, peter, Peter, pasta eater. 107 00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:14,946 Please? 108 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,960 All right. You know What? What the hell? 109 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,661 I have nothing Else better to do. 110 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,251 You say all the right things. 111 00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:21,385 All right. 112 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,654 Catch her? 113 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:23,989 Uh, no. 114 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:28,727 Strangely enough, I have A date with irene tonight. 115 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,128 What?! 116 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,430 I mean... What? 117 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,179 Yeah. I just bumped into her. 118 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:38,803 You can't go out with her. 119 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,750 She thinks I'm the Greatest guy in the world. 120 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,540 I could use that now. 121 00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:44,509 Hey, don't go! Don't... Come on. 122 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,845 This is only gonna End in disaster. 123 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,247 For you, it's just Another night out. 124 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:52,350 For irene, this is everything She's ever hoped for. 125 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:55,887 You're her malibu Barbie camper, pete. 126 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,958 Nah, I think I'm gonna go. 127 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:12,737 Hi. I'm glad you're here. I'm Not gonna make our date. 128 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,550 Because you're Going out with pete?! 129 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:18,209 Is he telling everyone, too?! 130 00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:21,212 Irene, you and I had a date To see if we were a couple. 131 00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:25,550 Yeah, sure, but I need to see If pete and I are a couple first, 132 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:27,351 So hang in there, buddy. 133 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,960 Hello. 134 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,929 Hey, baby. What Are you doing here? 135 00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:41,066 Well, I came home Early to see you. 136 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,568 And ashley... 137 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:48,472 Our apartment mascot. 138 00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:49,540 Surprise. 139 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,742 Yeah. 140 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:52,410 If you'll excuse us, ashley, 141 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:55,546 I just came home early To take my wife to dinner. 142 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,049 I'm sorry. I thought you Were gonna be working, 143 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,617 So I made plans with ashley. 144 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,224 Well, I'll just get changed, And I'll come with you. 145 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,792 Ooh, gosh, sorry. 146 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,906 It's an impossible Restaurant to get into. 147 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,241 I could barely get Reservations for two. 148 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,998 Well, let me guess... 149 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,735 It's one of those restaurants Where the waiters are rude, 150 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,136 The portions are small, 151 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,238 And they make you Wear long pants. 152 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:24,408 And you use the forks For eatin', not scratchin'. 153 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,579 Okay! 154 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,248 Okay, okay, okay. 155 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:34,986 Why don't we go to a place Where we can all eat together? 156 00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,487 Huh? Huh? Please? 157 00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,056 Ow.Ow. 158 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:40,424 Fine. All right. 159 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,560 So, where do you want to go? 160 00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:44,006 Oh, I don't care. You decide. 161 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,998 How about morty's? Pick again. 162 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,367 I thought you said You didn't care. 163 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,936 I don't. Just Choose a place I like. 164 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,206 Ooh... Pasta Village. Pick again. 165 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,075 Where are you going? 166 00:07:57,110 --> 00:08:00,178 Well, this could take a while. 167 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,091 Oh, hey, ashley. What's up? 168 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:05,549 I am about to embark on the Most boring evening of my life. 169 00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:06,951 Oh, not me. 170 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:11,089 I'm going to carlo's On a date with pete! 171 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:14,859 And just like that, my Night got more interesting. 172 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:22,200 Hey, bachelor number one. 173 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,205 Now, I know it's Bad luck to see me 174 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,174 Before our evening out, 175 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:32,243 But I couldn't wait To give you this. 176 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:33,611 What is it? 177 00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:38,082 It's a plaque commemorating Our date tonight. 178 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,652 Great. Great. 179 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:45,523 I-I'll have to put this On my date-plaque... Wall. 180 00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,725 Oh. 181 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,929 Great. Okay. I'm off To get a corn removed. 182 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,697 Uh... 183 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,969 I'm wearing open-toed sandals. 184 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,444 What you got there? 185 00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,646 Huh? Oh. Oh, well... 186 00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:12,383 At first glance It's a date plaque, 187 00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:15,419 But since there's no such thing, 188 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:19,590 It's a piece of wood Screaming, "Danger! Danger!" 189 00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,103 Calm down. Calm down. 190 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,561 All right, I'm gonna Cancel for you. 191 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,741 And, listen, I might Need to comfort her, 192 00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,199 So it could take Up to seven minutes. 193 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,672 No, berg, you can't Cancel. She'll flip out. 194 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:37,075 It's the second Thing they teach you 195 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,376 In lunatic school! 196 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,378 What's the first? 197 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,281 Plaques! 198 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:47,252 Berg, I-I don't want To be alone with her. 199 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,452 I'm afraid. 200 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,121 All right, listen... 201 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:53,925 You need somebody to Watch your back, so I'll go. 202 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,437 I don't know. I don't know. 203 00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:58,997 Pete, I don't... I don't Think this is wood. 204 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,831 I think this is bone. 205 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,618 We leave in an hour. Dress nice. 206 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:10,909 Fine. 207 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:28,727 So... This is cozy. 208 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,429 Yes. Who knew Someone with no butt 209 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,498 Could take up so much room? 210 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,235 Irene, berg has a butt. 211 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,938 He just wears really Tight underwear. 212 00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:47,311 What the... Hey, guys. 213 00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,681 What are you doing here? 214 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:53,718 Irene and pete are on a Date... And berg's with them. 215 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,153 How interesting. 216 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,921 Why don't you guys join us? 217 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,690 There's lots of room. Irene, scooch over. 218 00:10:58,725 --> 00:10:59,958 Excuse me. 219 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,627 Can I have a powwow With the girls? 220 00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,062 I need some advice. 221 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,798 What can we do for you? Clear out, slut coven. 222 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,900 Excuse me? 223 00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,168 You heard me. 224 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:13,171 This is my party. You're not on the list! 225 00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:18,509 Okay, well, uh, Enjoy your dinner. 226 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:24,082 Okay. If you guys take Ashley, I'll pay for your salads. 227 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:31,756 So... Where were We, petey linguini? 228 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:36,194 Hey, she just called You a limp noodle. 229 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,930 Are you gonna take that? 230 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,601 Oh, I know... Let Me read your palm. 231 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:44,769 What? 232 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,515 Do you know what this says? 233 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,074 That I'm uncomfortable, Because I'm uncomfortable. 234 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,374 I don't want to do this. 235 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,210 He doesn't want to do this. 236 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,979 We should just go. 237 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,625 You just got your heart broken 238 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,494 By someone you Cared for very much. 239 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:01,452 But the good news is You have a willing heart. 240 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:03,632 That means you could Fall in love again. 241 00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:07,959 I see lots of happiness For you, pete dunville. 242 00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:11,662 Thanks, irene. 243 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,132 I hope you find a Lot of happiness, too. 244 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:27,545 Excuse me. 245 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:31,682 It's breadstick. 246 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,662 You see that line right there? 247 00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:34,919 It's your tickle line. 248 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,333 No, there's no such Thing as a tickle line. 249 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,790 Hee hee hee hee hee hee! 250 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,970 Berg, can you get Me a chardonnay? 251 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,260 Make that two, buddy. 252 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,195 Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! 253 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,075 You guys, I'm gonna Wash my hands. 254 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,177 Will you order Something for me to drink? 255 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,801 Sure. What would you like? 256 00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:51,948 Uh, I don't care... Whatever You guys are having. 257 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,872 A round of beers... 258 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:58,143 Since we're being fancy, We'll have them in a glass. 259 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,618 Johnny, I think sharon Would like a vodka stinger. 260 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,180 Okay! 261 00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,949 I am the husband. I know What's best for my wife. 262 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,063 Just because you're the husband 263 00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,398 Doesn't mean you Can decide for her. 264 00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:10,621 She's a grown-up. 265 00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,491 Other people can Make her decisions, too. 266 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:14,625 Okay. 267 00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,161 So what did I decide? 268 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,797 Well, anything But a vodka stinger. 269 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,199 Ooh! Vodka stinger! Mmm! Yummy! 270 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,637 I blame you! 271 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,680 Have you ever even Heard of a tickle line? 272 00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,960 I haven't. I'm a doctor. 273 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,418 How could you stand Being around ashley? 274 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:43,387 She let me sleep with her. 275 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:47,292 Can I get a beer, please? 276 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,626 What's with pete? 277 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:52,063 Did you tell him about you And irene sleeping together? 278 00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:54,799 Mmm, no. I didn't want To ruin their date. 279 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:58,136 I always thought you and Irene made a better match. 280 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,138 Really? Yeah. 281 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,207 I mean, no matter How weird you act 282 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,542 Or how big an ass You make of yourself, 283 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,077 It doesn't seem to bother her. 284 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:10,148 You know, I never Thought of it that way. 285 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,951 Then again, what do I know? 286 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:16,988 My wife's on a date With another woman. 287 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,857 Sweet. 288 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:25,029 Marti always said My eyes were blue. 289 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,597 No, they're hazel. 290 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,901 Well, sometimes they're green, Depending on what I'm wearing. 291 00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,170 I was thinking That you and marti 292 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,372 Made a really good Couple together. 293 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:37,342 Give her a call... See if You can work things out. 294 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,644 Berg, take your third-wheel Self and roll on home. 295 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,815 Hey, pete invited me, so You're the third wheel. 296 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:47,451 Berg, it's cool. I got It covered. You can go. 297 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,953 A-are you sure? 298 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:53,224 I thought you didn't want To be alone with the, uh... 299 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,293 Unatic-lay. 300 00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:00,831 What? What are you saying? 301 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:04,102 He doesn't understand Ig-pay atin-lay. 302 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,972 Seriously, guys, what are You guys talking about? 303 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:11,075 Don't make me say It in front of irene. 304 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,510 Say what? 305 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,390 He's frightened of You. He dragged me here 306 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,514 Because he was scared To sit alone with you. 307 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,649 When you're done Stroking his ego, 308 00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:19,951 He's gonna throw you away 309 00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,764 Just like he threw away That plaque you gave him. 310 00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,654 Is that true? 311 00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:27,158 Am I the unatic-lay? 312 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:30,995 I think so, but again, I'm not really clear on... 313 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,167 Why the hell would you do that?! 314 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,375 Well, ashley... 315 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:45,944 I'm no more happy to see you, 316 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,812 But at least I'm A little buzzed. 317 00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:50,748 Ashley was just telling Me about a nonprofit 318 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,917 That's looking for a director. 319 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,420 After we meet them, Sign up for my yoga class. 320 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,732 It's a great way To relieve stress. 321 00:15:56,756 --> 00:16:01,059 Or we could eliminate The cause of stress. 322 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,595 What are you talking about? 323 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,730 This doesn't concern you, honey. 324 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:10,034 I am the husband, and I will Take care of everything. 325 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:13,171 What do you know about Corporate headhunting? 326 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,905 You're talking about me. 327 00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:17,608 Fine. You can take Care of the job. 328 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,677 I will take care of stress... 329 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:22,546 Stress, diet, and Anything in the home. 330 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,626 What does that leave for me? 331 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:28,719 Well, girlie things like Manicures, dancing... 332 00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:31,522 Fine, but then... Guys, guys, guys! 333 00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:33,735 Come on. It's not like I'm helpless or anything. 334 00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:35,471 Yes, you are. Yes, you are. 335 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,895 Come on! I can take Care of myself! 336 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,563 Of course you can, honey. 337 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,532 You just don't. 338 00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,567 What... What are You talking about? 339 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,736 I have been looking For a job all week. 340 00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:47,583 I've been looking for your job. 341 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,307 I've only been letting you help me 342 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,309 Because you have Nothing better to do. 343 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,378 What? 344 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,257 You think I need to Fix your problems 345 00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,681 In order to avoid Thinking about my life 346 00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,351 And how empty and awful And pathetic it's become? 347 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,667 I'm gonna get drunk. 348 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,890 Good riddance. 349 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,493 Don't you worry, honey. 350 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,229 I will drive you To yoga tomorrow. 351 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,275 From now on I'm Making my own decisions 352 00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,632 And finding my own jobs. 353 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,167 I'm taking control of my life! 354 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,569 Does this mean you're Gonna pay for dinner? 355 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:21,039 Yes. How does that Work? Do they bill us? 356 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:25,243 Irene, I'm sorry! 357 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,611 Irene, would you Please come out?! 358 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:41,959 Was it storytime In the ladies' room? 359 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,594 I had to bounce Some ideas off them. 360 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:47,298 Irene, irene, stop. 361 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,167 Listen... 362 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:52,170 I know you've been Nothing but sweet to me, 363 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,173 And I took advantage Of that, and I'm sorry. 364 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,075 Well, no. 365 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,944 I mean, I have to take Some of the blame 366 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,579 For our failed romance. 367 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,449 I went about it all wrong, 368 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,595 What with the constant Calling, the serenades, 369 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,253 Those nights I slept Under your bed. 370 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,592 What? 371 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,494 See, we're all on A journey, pete, 372 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,529 And because mine Brought me to you, 373 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,331 I thought you were my destiny. 374 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:23,134 You slept under my bed? 375 00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:25,470 See? It's always about pete. 376 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:26,870 That's our problem. 377 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:30,074 You realize you haven't once Asked me tonight how I am? 378 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,976 Oh. 379 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:39,617 How are you, irene? 380 00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,685 I'm good. 381 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,322 In fact, I'm better than ever. 382 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:47,391 My pete buzz has Finally worn off. 383 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,628 I finally see you're not the Answer to all my prayers. 384 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:53,364 I can't believe I'm gonna say this, 385 00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:59,103 But, pete dunville, I'm Breaking up with you. 386 00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:05,075 I can honestly say I Didn't see this coming. 387 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:08,812 All right. Now's not The time for anger. 388 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:14,718 Let's... Let's just say One sweet goodbye 389 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,621 And continue on our journeys. 390 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,334 How about a handshake And I get a beer? 391 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,918 Godspeed. All right. 392 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:26,063 Hey. How you doin'? 393 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,809 Can you take me home, please? 394 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,734 Yeah. Can you sit down Just for a second, though? 395 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:35,005 Look, irene, I'm, uh... I'm Sorry for the way I acted. 396 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:38,442 When I saw you with Pete, I got jealous. 397 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:39,544 Can we go? 398 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,678 I'm not finished yet. 399 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,480 You remember that Secret I told you? 400 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:47,117 You mean the "Squeeze" technique? 401 00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:55,025 No. 402 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:57,728 Flag corps. 403 00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,164 Well, I never told Anyone that before, 404 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,000 And I think I told you Because you're different. 405 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:07,938 If I had a dime... No. Irene... 406 00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:10,241 It's just that I'm so Comfortable around you. 407 00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:12,876 I feel like I can let my Guard down, be myself. 408 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,879 And I know that you won't Judge or hurt me for it, 409 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:20,251 And it's 'cause... You're kind, irene. 410 00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:23,787 You're kind and giving, And that means something. 411 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:26,790 I think that means... 412 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:30,194 That maybe there's more to Our relationship than just sex. 413 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,962 So what do you say? Huh? 414 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,198 You want to try being a couple? 415 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:37,468 Berg, please don't pressure Me. I just broke up with pete! 416 00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:47,344 Can I get a beer? 417 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:48,678 Hey. 418 00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:49,914 Where's your date? 419 00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:51,281 She dumped me... 420 00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:54,418 And after all those nights She slept under my bed. 421 00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:59,023 I'd make a comment, 422 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:01,992 But I just got blown Off by a married couple. 423 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:03,293 Maybe it's your destiny. 424 00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:04,561 What? 425 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:07,164 It was something irene Was blathering about... 426 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:10,501 How we're all on this journey To find that special someone... 427 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,636 Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. 428 00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:13,803 Exactly. 429 00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,377 What? 430 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:23,179 Nothing. I just think you two Make a nice-looking couple. 431 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:28,252 Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. 30822

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