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1
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,845
Look what I bought!
2
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,247
Cool.
3
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,383
Tonight I'll be the doctor,
4
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:20,152
And you'll be the
Vegas showgirl.
5
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,954
They're for you, silly.
6
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:32,097
I'm the showgirl!
7
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:38,837
Berg: I've been a
Very bad showgirl!
8
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,681
We have to go back
To the apartment.
9
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,725
Pete!
10
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,694
Peter!
11
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,130
It's cool. No one's here.
12
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,867
Thank you. Thanks
For walking me out.
13
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,202
Listen, irene...
14
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,049
Don't you think all
This sneakin' around
15
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,716
Is makin' us look
A little silly?
16
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:17,342
No, you underneath my
Robe... That would look silly.
17
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,478
Right? Right?
18
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:22,514
But, irene, I'm just sayin'
That would it be so terrible
19
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:25,750
If or two people
Found out about us?
20
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,520
I'm sure it must be very
Tempting to run down the hall
21
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,922
Yelling, "I made sweet
Love with irene! Ahh!"
22
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,728
But I cannot run the risk
Of pete ever finding out.
23
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,675
Still with the
"Pete thing," huh?
24
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:39,965
Wow!
25
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,534
I thought after spending
This much time with me,
26
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,870
You might have
Forgotten about him.
27
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,877
Oh, you!
28
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,914
I don't know if it's
The sex or the laughs,
29
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,217
But we do have fun.
30
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:02,287
Pete! Not now, irene.
31
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,656
I know you're wondering
What I was doing with berg.
32
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:05,890
Not really.
33
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,460
Okay, obviously you
Have some questions...
34
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,028
Ohh!
35
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,435
Al michaels: and so at the half
36
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,470
new england leads
By a touchdown.
37
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,272
and when we come back,
38
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:24,309
we'll be joined by red sox
Superstar nomar garciaparra.
39
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,358
Did you hear that? My
Man nomar's comin' on.
40
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,481
Nomar's not your man.
41
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,251
He was never your
Man. He was my man.
42
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,685
So, you, my friend,
43
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,121
Are gonna have to find
Yourself another man.
44
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,692
Hey! We need to talk.
45
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,761
I know exactly what
You're talkin' about.
46
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:46,165
Marti's not wearing a bra!
47
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,900
We need to talk
About you and irene
48
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,636
Having sex in my house.
49
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,371
Oh! You know what?
50
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:55,307
You're gonna have to
Talk to irene about that.
51
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,075
She books all our gigs.
52
00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,979
Cut it out, berg. I saw you.
53
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:01,980
Oh!
54
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,215
Yeah.
55
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,950
I still see you every
Time I close my eyes.
56
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,086
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold on!
57
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,421
You can't tell anybody.
58
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:10,989
I have to tell sharon.
59
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,591
You can't tell sharon.
60
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,026
She's my wife! Big deal!
61
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,696
Where's it written that you
Have to tell her everything?
62
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,499
In the prenup.
63
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,770
I'm just saying just the
Fact that you're married
64
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:28,006
Doesn't change the
Fact that you're a guy!
65
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,610
Guys need to tell each
Other things... guy things.
66
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,278
No, you don't understand.
67
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,514
This is sharon
We're talkin' about.
68
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,027
She's got a death
Grip on my "Guy things."
69
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,184
Johnny...
70
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:42,020
Johnny, come on!
Please? Please, johnny?
71
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,167
What are you two talking about?
72
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:48,527
Johnny was just tellin' me
How nice he thought I looked.
73
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:53,565
I mean, I... I brought it up,
74
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:57,603
But... But then
Johnny was like, "Yeah!"
75
00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,439
Really?
76
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,608
That doesn't sound
Like you, johnny.
77
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,810
Oh, th... I tell guys they
Look good all the time.
78
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,546
Hey, buddy!
79
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,381
Cute slacks.
80
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:15,654
Hey, nomar's on!
81
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,089
Oh, what's he wearing?
82
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,861
nomar, there's a lot of
Speculation right now
83
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,364
concerning whether
You'll stay with the red sox.
84
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,831
what can you tell us?
85
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,234
well, I'm considering
All my options right now.
86
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,835
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
87
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,705
Man, did you hear that?
Nomar might leave boston.
88
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,241
aside from the obvious heartache
89
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:37,909
involved for red sox fans,
90
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,379
I understand there was
Some heartache involved
91
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,880
for you personally.
92
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,916
ashley.
93
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,723
uh, so, uh...
94
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,459
so, nomar... Big year...
The batting title...
95
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,628
I have her picture right here.
96
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,904
uh, nomar, we're
Going to take a break.
97
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,439
we'll be right back.
98
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,308
Who is this ashley chick?!
99
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,943
Let's find where she
Lives and do stuff!
100
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,812
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
101
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:16,247
Ashley, this is awful. You
Better get out of here.
102
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,283
Why? Nobody knows who I am.
103
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,519
Hey!
104
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,154
Aren't you ashley from the tv?!
105
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,757
Boo! Boo! Boo!
106
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,196
No, no, no, johnny!
You stay strong!
107
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,764
Okay, look, I got to go.
108
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,800
Berg!
109
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:34,899
Berg!
110
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,780
No, she cannot
See into your soul!
111
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,003
Well, then look the other way.
112
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,917
Berg! Berg! Look! Look! Look!
113
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,875
Okay! Daddy told
You not to bother him
114
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,711
When he's on the phone.
115
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,157
Check out the morning
Paper. Ashley's all over 'em.
116
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,682
"All the witches
Aren't in salem."
117
00:05:55,489 --> 00:06:00,158
"No garciaparra... Let's
Lynch her tomorra."
118
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,673
And the funny guy
On "Sports center"
119
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,196
Called her "Trash-ley."
120
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:09,568
Man, just think about it.
121
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,436
Ashley's upstairs asleep.
122
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:14,339
She has no idea the
World hates her.
123
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,975
She is gonna be devastated
When she sees this.
124
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,076
You're right.
125
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,077
Yeah.
126
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,813
I should go wake her up.
127
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,482
Hey! Hey, sharon!
128
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,584
I can't talk. I gotta
Go torture ashley.
129
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:26,951
So what's that about?
130
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,898
Ashley's 15 minutes of
Shame. Check this out.
131
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:32,557
So, yesterday at the bar...
132
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:35,460
What were you and johnny
really talking about?
133
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:38,463
Was johnny at the bar yesterday?
134
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:41,299
Ohhhhh! Okay!
135
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,535
I see you got a little secret!
136
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,836
Okay!
137
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,071
That's fine. I'm not
Gonna tell you.
138
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,040
Whatever. No
Matter what you say.
139
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,020
I know... Because
It's about ashley.
140
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,277
No.
141
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,645
Irene?
142
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,448
Why would I have a secret
That has to do with irene?
143
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,761
Okay, secret about irene!
144
00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,551
Pftt!
145
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,554
That is ridiculous.
146
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,789
Oh! Ha ha!
147
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,558
Secret about berg and irene.
148
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,394
Okay, stop!
149
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:12,096
How do you go from
"That's ridiculous"
150
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,465
To "Berg and irene,"
151
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,667
Knowing full well
She is the last person
152
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,869
I would ever have
Anything to do with?
153
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,738
You're not sleepin'
With her, are you?
154
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:20,939
Johnny told you!
155
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:24,309
Oh, my god! You're
Sleeping with her?!
156
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,244
He didn't tell you!
157
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,480
Ohh!
158
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,882
It was... It was
Just a wild guess!
159
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:35,219
I mean... You're
Having sex with irene?!
160
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:42,226
It's not bad.
161
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:45,029
How did it start?
162
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,032
Well, how does it
Ever start, you know?
163
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:52,136
I snuck a hand on her breast,
And she let it stay there.
164
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,308
But she's... Irene!
165
00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:02,146
I mean... You know,
Little... Irene!
166
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,350
I know, and that's
Why I didn't tell anyone.
167
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:06,818
No, you told johnny!
168
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:10,021
No, I didn't. He walked in
On us in your new house.
169
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,624
W-w-w-wait!
170
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,759
You had sex in my new house!
171
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:18,697
I haven't even had
Sex in my new house!
172
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,634
It's great.
173
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:26,972
How could johnny keep
Something this big from me?
174
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,073
Well, now I have
To make him tell me.
175
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,876
H-h-h-h-hold on!
176
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,011
Sharon, you already know!
177
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,913
Yes, but a husband
Needs to learn
178
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,148
That he can't keep
Secrets from his wife.
179
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,449
You know what?
180
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,996
Lady, I'm bettin' on johnny.
181
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,087
Because when a man has a
Secret and he doesn't want to tell,
182
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,283
He ain't gonna let
No woman make him.
183
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,894
You're probably right.
184
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,540
You're damn straight I'm right!
185
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:51,897
Oh! Oh!
186
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,465
Does irene have a
Pet name for you?
187
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,800
Banana pants... Damn it!
188
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,076
Crowd: down with ashley!
189
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:08,146
Down with ashley!
Down with ashley!
190
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:12,984
Down with ashley!
Down with ashley!
191
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:16,087
Ashley's angry mob.
192
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,722
My people.
193
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:20,992
Oh, thanks!
194
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,928
You got it, man.
195
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,262
Oh, hey!
196
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,432
Don't forget your eggs!
197
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:31,502
I can't believe you're letting
Strangers use your bathroom.
198
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:34,439
Strangers? Marti,
He's not a stranger.
199
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:38,076
We are all brothers in
The fight against ashley.
200
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,145
Come on, pete! Leave
The poor woman alone.
201
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,915
She just broke up
With her boyfriend
202
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:46,451
'cause he was
Acting like an idiot.
203
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,486
That could happen to anyone.
204
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:51,122
All right. All right.
Maybe you're right.
205
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,959
Maybe I'm taking this
Thing a little too far.
206
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,460
I'll stop.
207
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,864
Man: hey, everybody,
Here she comes!
208
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,199
It's showtime!
209
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,170
Man: here she comes!
210
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,382
Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!
211
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,172
Hey, nomar, dump ashley!
212
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,141
Okay, out of my way!
213
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,977
Ashley out of boston!
214
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:15,513
Crowd: ashley out of
Boston! Ashley out of boston!
215
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,882
Hey, would you
People get a life!
216
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:21,552
What, is there no "Star trek"
Convention this weekend?
217
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,489
Do you have any idea
How pathetic you look
218
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,726
Doing your lame chants
And waving foam fingers?
219
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:32,463
My personal life is
Not your business!
220
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,432
So stop worrying about me,
221
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,869
And start worrying about how
To explain your cousin's baby!
222
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,704
I'm sorry!
223
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,040
Excuse me! What's the password?
224
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,908
Man: ashley still sucks!
225
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:44,909
Good one!
226
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,144
Crowd: you still suck!
227
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,857
You still suck! You still suck!
228
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,981
You still suck! Okay!
229
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:53,051
But I didn't just
Break up with nomar.
230
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,486
Another man stole my heart,
231
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:58,489
And that man happens
To be a huge yankees fan.
232
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:01,726
My boyfriend... Peter dunville!
233
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,494
Crowd: you both suck!
234
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,663
You both suck!
235
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:05,930
No! No! No!
236
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,198
She's lying!
237
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,711
You both suck! You both suck!
238
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:09,968
Let me in!
239
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,203
Let me in!
240
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:15,140
Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!
241
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,995
Anything about me in the paper?
242
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,953
Just a tiny little picture
Of you and ashley kissing.
243
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,521
You can't even tell it's you.
244
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,256
Thank god.
245
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,336
It's fine. Wait... See sports.
246
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,327
Whoa!
247
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,798
Oh, my god!
248
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:43,802
This is bigger than
Your actual face.
249
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,704
You! I know. I know.
250
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,672
It is so unfair of me.
251
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,441
I'm gonna put an
End to it right now.
252
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,610
Hey!
253
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,713
You leave pete dunville,
254
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:57,849
Who lives in this
Apartment, alone!
255
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,652
Hey! Hey! You know what?!
256
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,521
I'm not scared of you!
257
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:10,261
Good thinking there.
Yell at the angry mob.
258
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,005
All right! That's it!
259
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,841
You've entered the building!
260
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,744
You're trespassing,
And I'm calling the police!
261
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:29,180
Go ahead, pete. Hit me.
262
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:33,417
It'll be the second blow
You struck me today.
263
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:36,420
Irene, I won't be in need
Of your services today.
264
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,889
I'm already annoyed.
265
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,590
Ohh!
266
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,727
Did you see this picture
Of pete in the arms of...
267
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,763
Oh, that!
268
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:48,199
Well, you know what's
It's like to kiss pete, irene.
269
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,868
Oh, wait. You don't.
270
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:53,171
Okay, this is very upsetting.
271
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,040
You have to... Have to relax!
272
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,609
I'm gonna go home,
Give the cats a bath...
273
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,845
Although, I could
Use some help...
274
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:04,715
Scrubbing their
Soft... Naked backs.
275
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,987
Ew!
276
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,321
All right.
277
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,325
Wow!
278
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,829
How long have berg and
Irene been sleeping together?
279
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,135
Man! You really have no clue
280
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:28,173
When it comes to
Relationships, do you?
281
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,409
Now would you please just
Focus? We have a problem out there.
282
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,311
I can't make nomar
Stay in boston.
283
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:36,547
He finds it too painful to
Be in the same city with me.
284
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,627
Well, then I
Guess it's up to me.
285
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,251
I have to make him realize
286
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,687
What a horrible,
Horrible, horrible...
287
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:46,090
Horrible... Horrible
Person you are.
288
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:49,160
Fine. If you think
Nomar's gonna believe
289
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,495
The babblings of a
Pony-kicked child,
290
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,497
Then go right ahead.
291
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,000
All right, you know what?
Now you're being rude.
292
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:03,674
Ugh!
293
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,978
Say my name.
294
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:10,414
I don't really wanna... Say it!
295
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,716
Tiger.
296
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,784
Now do the noise. Aarrgh!
297
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:14,919
Ah, come here!
298
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,590
Oh-ho!
299
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,561
Great! Now the image is back!
300
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,530
Oh, god! Johnny! This
Isn't what it looks like.
301
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,799
It's just that... Oh!
I won the lottery!
302
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:33,104
Back off there, princess.
He already knows about us.
303
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:34,139
What?!
304
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:37,141
Apparently he was staring.
305
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,409
This is awful!
306
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,678
When pete finds out
How I've been soiled,
307
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,546
He'll never touch me.
308
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:46,684
Okay, for that comment you're
Gonna have to buy me something.
309
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,053
Okay, who else have you told?
310
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,288
No one!
311
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,990
God bless you, johnny,
312
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:55,960
And all the children lucky
Enough to be born unto you.
313
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,162
But I have to tell sharon.
314
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:01,065
May you rot in hell with
Your dead grandparents!
315
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:05,003
You don't understand what
Sharon's been like lately.
316
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,838
I mean, I can't
Take the pressure.
317
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,507
I'm just a handyman.
318
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,542
I wasn't trained for this.
319
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,944
He's right, irene.
320
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,914
Sharon can be a real
Hag when she wants to.
321
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,784
Now, listen, buddy.
322
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,663
You've been gettin'
The milk for free,
323
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,933
But I can make you lactose
Intolerant pretty quick
324
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,290
If word gets out.
325
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,727
Come on, johnny!
Help me out here, man!
326
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,063
Baby needs his bottle!
327
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,099
Hello! Hey!
328
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:39,603
So, what were the three
Of you just talkin' about?
329
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,105
Oh, nothing!
330
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,107
Johnny's grandparents...
The price of milk.
331
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,044
Oh! Oh!
332
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,479
I guess this is about your's
And berg's secret, huh?
333
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,248
Johnny doesn't have a secret.
334
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,116
Johnny can talk for himself.
335
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,351
Maybe he shouldn't.
336
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,420
Maybe you should butt out!
337
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,734
I got $10 on the little one!
338
00:15:58,758 --> 00:15:59,790
Stop it!
339
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,125
Sharon, yes,
340
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:04,662
I have a secret that I
Promised not to tell,
341
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:05,997
And that's that.
342
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,499
Okay, fine.
343
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:09,600
Okay.
344
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:10,969
I can respect that.
345
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,370
Thank you.
346
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,406
From now on...
There'll be no dinner...
347
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,641
There'll be no poker night,
348
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:21,112
And the only kind of
Sex you'll be having
349
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,181
Is the kind without me.
350
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,450
And that's that!
351
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,088
Yes!
352
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,223
Johnny, that was heroic.
353
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:35,693
You gave up nooky so
That others might get some.
354
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,095
Oh!
355
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,268
In a way...
356
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,338
I think this is
Sort of my fault.
357
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:51,442
"In a way"?! Berg,
This is all your fault!
358
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:52,943
More than you know.
359
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,823
I already told
Sharon the secret.
360
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,247
What?! Yeah.
361
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,983
She was actually just
Being mean to break you,
362
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,464
But you know what?
You held your ground.
363
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,588
You... You are heroic.
364
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:12,330
Why did we have to meet here?
365
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,564
You'll see.
366
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,266
Nomar's gonna be
On the 6:00 news.
367
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,068
I convinced him
To stay in boston.
368
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,436
How did you manage that?
369
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,970
I found him at the batting...
370
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:22,606
Actually, marti found
Him at the batting cages.
371
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,707
Tell her.
372
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,421
Well, I was practicing my swing
373
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,685
And nomar came up and
Was giving me some tips...
374
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,514
Yeah, anyway...
375
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:33,751
I started off by telling him you
Have two basic personalities...
376
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,586
Nasty and asleep.
377
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,188
He was onboard instantly.
378
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,391
I'm very convincing,
Aren't I, marti?
379
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:41,692
Are you ever.
380
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,727
Oh, I thought you
Said irritating.
381
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,498
Oh, here it is!
382
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:50,768
If you'll turn your
Attention to the television
383
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,870
And hear what nomar has to say,
384
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,139
Afterwards I'll be
Accepting your apologies
385
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,108
In the form of
Your lips on my butt.
386
00:17:57,143 --> 00:18:01,845
Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!
387
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:04,648
Well, it could be worse.
This could be a pie shop.
388
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:11,089
well, the nightmare
Is over, red sox fans,
389
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,591
but let's let the
Man tell you himself.
390
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,194
that's right, mike.
I'm not leavin' boston.
391
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,663
why the sudden turnaround?
392
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:23,501
let's just say someone
Special with an incredible smile
393
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,236
convinced me to stay,
394
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,939
and I'm really lookin' forward
To seein' that smile a lot.
395
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,374
Wow!
396
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,710
I mean, I knew he liked me,
397
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,779
But I had no idea
He noticed my smile.
398
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,519
Oh, hungry, honey?
Oops! No dinner!
399
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:45,623
I've changed my mind. I'm
Going to tell you my secret.
400
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,791
Ooh! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!
401
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,094
Now I never
Wanted to lie to you.
402
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,630
I never had very
Much in my life,
403
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,543
But I've always had my word.
404
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,601
Yeah, yeah.
405
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:00,804
I just... I want you to know
How much I'm giving you.
406
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,707
Johnny, we can't have
Secrets between us.
407
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:07,145
Our marriage has to be
Based on absolute honesty.
408
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:10,281
Oh, I see that now.
409
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,929
All right. The secret is...
410
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,754
Two of our friends
Living in this building
411
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,489
Are sleeping together.
412
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,761
Those two people
Are pete and ashley!
413
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,796
Oh, my g...
414
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:34,639
Pete and ashley?
that's not the secret.
415
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,707
Well, that's what I heard.
416
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:39,243
Did you hear
Something different?
417
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:46,850
No, I just thought...
You thought what?
418
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,220
Nothin'!
419
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:50,988
Wow!
420
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:54,091
Yeah, shocking, isn't it?
421
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:59,530
Man, one minute you
Think you know everything,
422
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,200
And the next minute
You don't know nothin'!
423
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,505
And I'm just glad
424
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,575
That we can be honest
With each other, sweetie.
425
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,975
Now, uh...
426
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,190
Was there something
You wanted to tell me?
427
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,914
Uh... No.
428
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,117
You're sure?
429
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,486
Mm-hmm.
430
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:25,323
Okay, so here's
What I was thinking.
431
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,024
You make dinner,
432
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,893
And then we'll have a
Little "Slap and tickle,"
433
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:32,896
And the boys will come
Over to play some cards,
434
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:33,964
And that's that.
435
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:36,100
Okay.
436
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,203
Okay.
437
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:47,823
You both suck! You both suck!
438
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,913
She's lying!
439
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,684
No, no, no! She's lying!
440
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:08,832
Soylent green is people!
30611
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