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1
00:00:02,672 --> 00:00:04,507
He's here! Boyle's here!
2
00:00:04,591 --> 00:00:07,510
This is so fun!
I wish you guys got shot more often.
3
00:00:08,846 --> 00:00:11,139
Buh, buh, buh, back in the Nine-Nine!
4
00:00:11,223 --> 00:00:13,433
-[ALL CHEERING]
-Hey!
5
00:00:13,517 --> 00:00:14,809
Welcome back, Detective.
6
00:00:14,893 --> 00:00:16,520
Wow. Is this all for me?
7
00:00:16,604 --> 00:00:18,563
Of course it is.
What are you wearing there, buddy?
8
00:00:18,647 --> 00:00:20,899
Oh.
None of my pants fit over my butt cast.
9
00:00:20,983 --> 00:00:23,276
Lucky for me, my mom
lent me her leg warmers.
10
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,695
That is lucky.
11
00:00:24,779 --> 00:00:26,280
Pretty sweet scooter.
12
00:00:26,364 --> 00:00:28,533
Oh, yeah, I know! Check out these donuts!
13
00:00:28,617 --> 00:00:30,535
Whoo-hoo.
14
00:00:30,619 --> 00:00:33,204
Ah, that went terribly.
Can I help you with something?
15
00:00:33,288 --> 00:00:35,038
No, no. Everything's under control.
16
00:00:35,332 --> 00:00:36,874
I picked up a couple reacher-grabbers.
17
00:00:36,958 --> 00:00:37,959
Yeah.
18
00:00:38,084 --> 00:00:40,384
So I'm able to do
everything that I used to do.
19
00:00:40,796 --> 00:00:44,216
So now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to
go make myself a morning cup of coffee,
20
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:46,052
like I do every day.
21
00:00:47,011 --> 00:00:48,053
Eh.
22
00:00:48,137 --> 00:00:50,640
Okay. Just gotta… No problem.
23
00:00:51,182 --> 00:00:52,475
ALL: Oh!
24
00:00:52,808 --> 00:00:54,810
-The heart is the hardest part.
-ALL: Oh.
25
00:00:55,186 --> 00:00:56,311
Let me get that for you, Boyle.
26
00:00:56,395 --> 00:00:57,397
No need. No need at all.
27
00:00:57,481 --> 00:00:59,031
That's sweet, Rosa. Here we go.
28
00:00:59,441 --> 00:01:02,819
Ah. Hey, Charles, just take my coffee.
It's fresh.
29
00:01:02,986 --> 00:01:05,036
Okay, I guess. I mean, if you don't mind.
30
00:01:05,447 --> 00:01:06,864
All right, you got it? Mmm-hmm.
31
00:01:06,948 --> 00:01:08,241
Ah. All righty.
32
00:01:08,325 --> 00:01:10,660
No problem.
Why wouldn't you just use your other hand?
33
00:01:10,744 --> 00:01:13,831
[SCREAMS] Hot coffee in my cast.
34
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:18,961
[SIGHS] Cold milk. Cold milk.
35
00:01:19,796 --> 00:01:21,171
Now it's coming out the bottom.
36
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,339
-It is coming out the bottom of my cast.
-GINA: Ew.
37
00:01:22,423 --> 00:01:23,424
[ALL GROAN]
38
00:01:23,675 --> 00:01:25,677
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
39
00:01:45,657 --> 00:01:47,908
Hey. What's going on?
40
00:01:47,992 --> 00:01:50,369
Just picked him up on a
dozen counts of identity theft.
41
00:01:50,453 --> 00:01:51,871
His name's Doug Judy.
42
00:01:51,955 --> 00:01:53,539
You ever seen him before? No.
43
00:01:53,623 --> 00:01:59,253
♪ Rosa, Rosa, Rosa Oh, yeah ♪
44
00:01:59,337 --> 00:02:03,300
♪ -Beautiful Rosa ♪
-I think he's into me.
45
00:02:03,426 --> 00:02:04,718
What do you do to these perps?
46
00:02:04,802 --> 00:02:06,554
Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.
47
00:02:06,679 --> 00:02:11,892
Anyway, he said he wants to speak
to "John or Jack Peralta or whatever."
48
00:02:12,351 --> 00:02:13,977
What does he want with me?
49
00:02:14,061 --> 00:02:16,021
And should I change
my name to Jack Peralta?
50
00:02:16,105 --> 00:02:17,690
Sounds badass.
51
00:02:17,774 --> 00:02:20,068
Jack Peralta… Crocodile Hunter.
52
00:02:20,193 --> 00:02:22,487
Yeah. He said he wants a deal.
53
00:02:22,654 --> 00:02:25,198
He has information about
some dude who steals Pontiacs.
54
00:02:25,282 --> 00:02:27,784
Pontiacs?
He knows about the Pontiac Bandit.
55
00:02:28,034 --> 00:02:29,410
Listen to me. He specifically said
56
00:02:29,494 --> 00:02:30,620
he knows a guy who steals Pontiacs?
57
00:02:30,704 --> 00:02:32,080
Yeah. I just said that. Chill, man.
58
00:02:32,164 --> 00:02:35,626
Okay. Okay. Sorry.
59
00:02:36,377 --> 00:02:38,171
Okay. [LAUGHS]
60
00:02:39,964 --> 00:02:42,341
Hey, Diaz, come in here. Talk to me.
61
00:02:42,842 --> 00:02:44,051
This dude is super horny.
62
00:02:44,135 --> 00:02:45,219
Yeah.
63
00:02:47,013 --> 00:02:49,515
Ah. Ah, ow. Whoa.
64
00:02:50,684 --> 00:02:53,020
-[SCOOTER BEEPING]
-[ALL GROANING]
65
00:02:55,856 --> 00:02:58,275
[SCOOTER BEEPING]
66
00:02:58,525 --> 00:02:59,776
BOYLE: Backing up, guys.
67
00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:01,487
Oh, are you? Huh.
68
00:03:01,695 --> 00:03:03,655
AUTOMATED VOICE: Please get out of my way.
I am physically disabled.
69
00:03:03,739 --> 00:03:05,699
One of these buttons. Please get
out of my way. I am physically disabled.
70
00:03:05,783 --> 00:03:06,867
-Sorry. Sorry.
-[BEEPING]
71
00:03:06,951 --> 00:03:08,536
Oh, you don't have to
apologize for anything, Boyle.
72
00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:11,670
You were shot in the line of
duty, defending a fellow officer.
73
00:03:12,081 --> 00:03:13,624
You know, the doctor said
74
00:03:13,708 --> 00:03:14,709
that if the bullet was
75
00:03:14,793 --> 00:03:15,876
2 millimeters to the left
76
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:16,961
and a foot higher,
77
00:03:17,045 --> 00:03:18,379
I might never have walked again.
78
00:03:18,463 --> 00:03:20,757
Everyone here appreciates
your heroism, Boyle.
79
00:03:20,882 --> 00:03:22,217
We all want your first day back to be
80
00:03:22,301 --> 00:03:24,845
as pleasant and as
comfortable as possible.
81
00:03:24,929 --> 00:03:26,179
Right, Detectives?
82
00:03:26,263 --> 00:03:29,015
Absolutely.
Hey, Boyle, you want to choose
83
00:03:29,099 --> 00:03:30,559
where we order lunch from today?
84
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:33,062
Really? You're lifting the lifetime ban?
85
00:03:33,771 --> 00:03:35,480
I thought my lunch choices
were quote, unquote,
86
00:03:35,564 --> 00:03:37,358
horrifying adventures in diarrhea.
87
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,694
Today, Charles, we take
that adventure with you.
88
00:03:39,778 --> 00:03:42,155
All right!
I've been craving Sudanese all day!
89
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,622
I'll print out some menus.
90
00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:47,953
Ouch. You ran over my foot.
91
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,665
I am in incredible pain.
92
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,167
I used to work at a chop shop.
93
00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:59,090
It was chill. Decent hours, good benefits,
you could work while you were high.
94
00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:02,341
Which I never did
'cause that's irresponsible.
95
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:03,677
Anyway, we did a lot of work
96
00:04:03,761 --> 00:04:05,638
for this dude who stole Pontiacs.
97
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,223
The Pontiac Bandit!
98
00:04:07,974 --> 00:04:10,560
Okay. We called him Bill, but whatever.
99
00:04:10,727 --> 00:04:11,728
No, not "whatever."
100
00:04:11,812 --> 00:04:13,855
The Pontiac Bandit is my nemesis.
101
00:04:13,939 --> 00:04:15,231
I've been chasing
this guy for eight years.
102
00:04:15,315 --> 00:04:16,441
He's stolen hundreds of cars.
103
00:04:16,525 --> 00:04:17,734
All of them Pontiacs.
104
00:04:17,818 --> 00:04:18,943
He's never left any evidence
105
00:04:19,027 --> 00:04:20,111
and he's never been caught on camera.
106
00:04:20,195 --> 00:04:21,196
The guy is a ghost.
107
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,948
Super ghost. He's a super ghost.
108
00:04:23,073 --> 00:04:24,532
Before we go any further,
109
00:04:24,616 --> 00:04:25,784
we need to know if you're for real.
110
00:04:25,868 --> 00:04:26,952
Describe the guy.
111
00:04:27,036 --> 00:04:28,663
Asian dude. Maybe 5'8".
112
00:04:28,955 --> 00:04:31,416
Spiky black hair. Rocks in both ears.
113
00:04:31,541 --> 00:04:33,959
Always wears a black suit,
and speaks with a British accent,
114
00:04:34,043 --> 00:04:36,045
like my girl, Dame Judi Dench.
115
00:04:36,546 --> 00:04:37,922
I have impeccable taste.
116
00:04:38,214 --> 00:04:39,256
So would you say he looks
117
00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,300
sort of like this?
118
00:04:41,384 --> 00:04:42,384
That's Bill.
119
00:04:42,468 --> 00:04:44,638
This is a composite sketch
from 10 interviews I've done.
120
00:04:44,722 --> 00:04:46,223
Perfect match.
121
00:04:46,557 --> 00:04:49,518
So all you know is what a bunch of
other mopes have said over the years?
122
00:04:49,602 --> 00:04:52,021
Anything else? Yeah.
123
00:04:52,897 --> 00:04:54,272
I know how to get in touch with him.
124
00:04:54,356 --> 00:04:55,441
Doug Judy!
125
00:04:58,152 --> 00:04:59,652
You wanted to see me, Captain?
126
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:02,907
My husband's dog, Cheddar, had
relations with a neighbor dog, Karate,
127
00:05:02,991 --> 00:05:04,993
and produced these two smaller dogs.
128
00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:08,997
He insisted that I find them a
good home, with someone we trust.
129
00:05:10,498 --> 00:05:14,711
You can trust me!
Dogs are my whole life. Also work.
130
00:05:15,170 --> 00:05:17,256
Doing work and hanging with dogs.
131
00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:18,633
That's my lifestyle!
132
00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:19,842
[SNEEZES]
133
00:05:20,468 --> 00:05:21,510
[SNEEZING]
134
00:05:21,636 --> 00:05:22,637
[COUGHS]
135
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,263
You're allergic to dogs, aren't you?
136
00:05:24,347 --> 00:05:28,351
No. I just need an EpiPen, because my
happiness is making my throat close up.
137
00:05:28,684 --> 00:05:30,353
Hand me the small dog, Santiago.
138
00:05:32,272 --> 00:05:33,273
[SNEEZES]
139
00:05:36,526 --> 00:05:39,112
So the burner phone that
Doug Judy used to contact
140
00:05:39,196 --> 00:05:41,197
the Pontiac Bandit is at his mom's house.
141
00:05:41,281 --> 00:05:44,701
He's agreed to help us catch the
Bandit if we drop all charges against him.
142
00:05:44,785 --> 00:05:47,078
How many cars would you say
this Pontiac Bandit has stolen?
143
00:05:47,162 --> 00:05:48,747
Two hundred and thirty that I know of.
144
00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:51,031
But the real number
could be in the millions.
145
00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:52,825
You're not very good at math. Hmm.
146
00:05:53,211 --> 00:05:54,378
What are the charges against Judy?
147
00:05:54,462 --> 00:05:57,339
Twelve counts of identity theft.
But I've been chasing him for a month.
148
00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:58,632
Oh, a month.
149
00:05:58,716 --> 00:06:01,135
I've been trying to catch the
Pontiac Bandit for eight years!
150
00:06:01,219 --> 00:06:02,720
You know how many months that is?
151
00:06:02,804 --> 00:06:05,557
Ninety-six. Eighty… Forty..
. Six years… Months.
152
00:06:05,724 --> 00:06:08,268
Do you need a math tutor? Because
the department will provide one for you.
153
00:06:08,352 --> 00:06:09,644
I can't tell if you're being serious.
154
00:06:09,728 --> 00:06:11,521
I'm on the fence here.
155
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:14,650
Diaz caught him. It's your call.
156
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:17,653
Look, this guy's for real.
A thousand push-ups.
157
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,822
A thousand push-ups? Really? Yes.
158
00:06:20,949 --> 00:06:22,951
Okay. I'm in.
159
00:06:23,535 --> 00:06:24,535
What's "a thousand push-ups"?
160
00:06:24,619 --> 00:06:27,163
Oh, we were in the academy
together and we hated all the drills.
161
00:06:27,247 --> 00:06:30,333
So now when we're on a case and
one of us says "a thousand push-ups,"
162
00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:33,586
it means, I'm so sure I'm right that if
I'm wrong I'll do a thousand push-ups.
163
00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:36,924
It's a pact we made.
It really just means "trust me." And I do.
164
00:06:37,591 --> 00:06:39,343
Okay. Make the deal.
165
00:06:39,427 --> 00:06:42,096
Yes! I've got you now, Pontiac Bandit!
166
00:06:42,263 --> 00:06:45,057
Whoo! Feels good to finally
say that in front of actual people
167
00:06:45,141 --> 00:06:46,726
instead of just the mirror.
168
00:06:49,186 --> 00:06:53,441
All right. So we grab the burner,
catch the Bandit, become police legends.
169
00:06:53,525 --> 00:06:55,318
My mom's car's here. She's home.
170
00:06:56,445 --> 00:06:58,571
You gotta take these cuffs off. No way.
171
00:06:58,655 --> 00:06:59,948
She doesn't know I'm a criminal.
172
00:07:00,032 --> 00:07:03,132
She thinks I own an architecture
firm with all white employees.
173
00:07:03,243 --> 00:07:06,120
That's racist. Why stop there?
Why not tell her you're an astronaut?
174
00:07:06,204 --> 00:07:09,249
'Cause space is scary.
You saw what it did to Sandy Bullock!
175
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:12,211
Yeah, I'm with him on this one.
I'll stay on Earth, thank you very much.
176
00:07:12,295 --> 00:07:14,838
Yeah. Right. Come on, Rosa.
177
00:07:14,922 --> 00:07:17,822
We can play act with his mom
for two minutes to get a lead.
178
00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:19,052
Fine.
179
00:07:19,802 --> 00:07:23,347
One false move and I Tase
you in front of your mom.
180
00:07:25,809 --> 00:07:28,562
Dougie! Oh, my beautiful boy.
181
00:07:29,688 --> 00:07:31,147
Well, shouldn't you be at work?
182
00:07:31,231 --> 00:07:33,108
Never too busy to see my mama. Oh.
183
00:07:33,192 --> 00:07:36,737
Mama, this is my girlfriend, Rosa.
184
00:07:37,988 --> 00:07:42,368
And this is my personal
assistant, Mangy Carl.
185
00:07:42,494 --> 00:07:45,496
Ah, it's nice to meet you.
You can just call me Carl.
186
00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:47,916
Mangy Carl used to be
a homeless gentleman.
187
00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:50,001
I work with a charity that finds jobs
188
00:07:50,085 --> 00:07:51,293
for down-on-their-luck white people.
189
00:07:51,377 --> 00:07:53,922
Oh. He's just a big old angel.
190
00:07:54,297 --> 00:07:57,468
He's been so good to the whites.
191
00:07:57,593 --> 00:08:00,387
[LAUGHS] Yes, he is. Yeah.
192
00:08:00,471 --> 00:08:01,805
This guy.
193
00:08:01,889 --> 00:08:03,182
Oh.
194
00:08:04,058 --> 00:08:06,393
Hey, speaking of which, we should
probably grab that phone, you know,
195
00:08:06,477 --> 00:08:08,729
so you can get back to architecturals.
196
00:08:08,813 --> 00:08:10,313
Yes. It's in the spare bedroom.
197
00:08:10,397 --> 00:08:12,441
I'll go with you. It's a mess.
198
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:14,694
Actually, we can handle
it on our own, ma'am.
199
00:08:14,778 --> 00:08:15,778
Thank you so much.
200
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:20,075
Why don't you just stay up
here and chap it up with Rosa?
201
00:08:21,284 --> 00:08:22,952
Well, that sounds nice!
202
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,329
We can get to know each other a little.
203
00:08:25,413 --> 00:08:28,041
I love getting to know people.
It's my jam.
204
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:30,878
[SLURPING]
205
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:32,588
Oh, how good is this food?
206
00:08:32,672 --> 00:08:33,672
I'm eating it!
207
00:08:33,756 --> 00:08:35,591
They accidentally put a stone in mine.
208
00:08:35,675 --> 00:08:36,884
Oh. No, no, no, no.
209
00:08:36,968 --> 00:08:38,469
That's the hoof. [GASPS]
210
00:08:38,928 --> 00:08:41,097
That's the best part of the stew.
211
00:08:41,514 --> 00:08:42,514
Oh, man.
212
00:08:42,598 --> 00:08:45,518
Think of it as marrow nugget
wrapped in a thick toenail.
213
00:08:45,602 --> 00:08:46,603
[GAGS]
214
00:08:47,437 --> 00:08:48,564
[SLURPS] Mmm.
215
00:08:48,814 --> 00:08:50,440
Hey, did I tell you guys
what the doctor said?
216
00:08:50,524 --> 00:08:51,983
Mmm-hmm. A couple times.
217
00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:53,943
But we'd love to hear it again.
218
00:08:54,027 --> 00:08:56,529
He said that if the bullet
was a fraction of an inch
219
00:08:56,613 --> 00:09:00,158
to the left and 2 feet up,
it would have hit my brain.
220
00:09:00,242 --> 00:09:01,827
Oh. Yeah.
221
00:09:01,911 --> 00:09:03,246
Yeah. [SLURPING]
222
00:09:04,414 --> 00:09:05,498
Ugh.
223
00:09:05,874 --> 00:09:09,085
Back in the game. When can we meet?
224
00:09:10,336 --> 00:09:12,922
Damn, you're a good assistant.
I could get used to this.
225
00:09:13,006 --> 00:09:14,423
How long till he usually
gets back to you?
226
00:09:14,507 --> 00:09:16,426
Mmm, like 10 minutes. Chill, Mangy.
227
00:09:16,593 --> 00:09:18,804
I can't chill.
I've never been this close before.
228
00:09:18,888 --> 00:09:21,681
I gotta admit, your enthusiasm
makes me want you to catch him.
229
00:09:21,765 --> 00:09:24,601
Thank you. Are these LaserDiscs?
230
00:09:24,685 --> 00:09:26,937
Yeah.
I robbed a Tower Records back in '92.
231
00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:28,772
Kept my faves. Doug Judy.
232
00:09:28,898 --> 00:09:29,898
Ooh.
233
00:09:29,982 --> 00:09:31,691
Blade Runner, Tron…
234
00:09:31,775 --> 00:09:33,443
Oh! Fievel Goes West?
235
00:09:33,527 --> 00:09:37,657
Yes, sir. I love that little mouse.
His journey, the story of America.
236
00:09:37,741 --> 00:09:39,242
I could not agree more.
237
00:09:39,576 --> 00:09:41,035
Fievel? Papa.
238
00:09:41,119 --> 00:09:45,289
Fievel! Papa!
239
00:09:45,373 --> 00:09:47,208
Fievel! You guys having fun?
240
00:09:47,292 --> 00:09:48,376
Hey.
241
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:51,260
'Cause I'm not.
His mom put this stupid braid in my hair!
242
00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:52,381
Oh, it looks beautiful.
243
00:09:52,465 --> 00:09:53,799
Yeah. It's kind of cute.
244
00:09:55,176 --> 00:09:56,594
Please have my children.
245
00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:58,095
[PHONE CHIMES]
246
00:09:59,597 --> 00:10:02,724
It's him. Parking lot on Flatbush
and Vanderbilt in 15 minutes.
247
00:10:02,808 --> 00:10:03,851
Let's go.
248
00:10:03,935 --> 00:10:06,229
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Diaz looks like a dirty criminal,
249
00:10:06,313 --> 00:10:07,438
but you look like a cop, man.
250
00:10:07,522 --> 00:10:10,422
You can't go over there like that.
What'd you have in mind?
251
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,861
Don't call it a comeback
252
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,946
I been here for years Rockin' my peers
253
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:17,824
And putting suckas in fear
Makin' the tears rain down
254
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:21,035
Like a monsoon Listen to the bass go boom
255
00:10:21,119 --> 00:10:23,497
Explosion, overpowerin'
256
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,167
Over the competition I'm towerin'…
257
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,335
I don't look like a cop now!
258
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,619
No, you look like a
Boyz II Men Easter album.
259
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,256
Burn.
260
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,050
It's not a burn. It's cool.
261
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:37,679
Gina, we've been
looking all over for you.
262
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,265
You can't just disappear
and leave a sign on your desk
263
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:41,599
that says "Gone leavin'."
264
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:44,478
I'm hiding from Charles.
I can't take him anymore.
265
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:48,231
It's safe in here because his scooter
can't get up the steps in the hallway.
266
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,941
Gina. Have some compassion.
267
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,776
Boyle got hurt doing something brave.
268
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,697
You didn't have to do
physical therapy with him, Amy.
269
00:10:55,115 --> 00:11:00,078
Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal, push!
Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal, push!
270
00:11:00,370 --> 00:11:02,920
All this cycling makes me
feel like Lance Armstrong.
271
00:11:03,164 --> 00:11:06,334
Like you use performance
enhancing drugs and have one teste?
272
00:11:06,751 --> 00:11:08,002
Wouldn't you like to know?
273
00:11:08,086 --> 00:11:10,088
How long can you possibly hide in here?
274
00:11:10,297 --> 00:11:12,299
I sent all the Captain's calls here.
275
00:11:12,383 --> 00:11:14,384
My phone battery's at 100% charge
276
00:11:14,468 --> 00:11:17,054
and I have 10 loose
diner mints in my purse.
277
00:11:17,138 --> 00:11:18,889
This is my home now.
278
00:11:20,433 --> 00:11:22,435
I gotta say, this suit is growing on me.
279
00:11:22,685 --> 00:11:23,685
Looks good.
280
00:11:23,769 --> 00:11:26,480
Is it triple-breasted somehow?
There's no such thing.
281
00:11:26,564 --> 00:11:28,233
What about the girl in Total Recall?
282
00:11:28,317 --> 00:11:32,154
Mmm. Triple bitties.
Triple bitties. Triple bitties.
283
00:11:33,071 --> 00:11:34,280
There's no sign of anyone.
284
00:11:34,364 --> 00:11:36,115
Ah. You sure about this?
285
00:11:36,199 --> 00:11:38,827
A thousand push-ups. Okay.
286
00:11:39,536 --> 00:11:40,746
Heads up.
287
00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:45,960
Who the hell are you? Where's Bill?
288
00:11:46,044 --> 00:11:47,044
He hadn't heard from you in a while,
289
00:11:47,128 --> 00:11:49,129
so he sent me to make
sure everything was cool.
290
00:11:49,213 --> 00:11:51,257
Apparently, it's not. Who are they?
291
00:11:51,591 --> 00:11:54,718
They're with me.
This is the buyer, Carl Mangerman.
292
00:11:54,802 --> 00:11:57,430
What's up?
I don't know them, I don't trust them.
293
00:11:57,597 --> 00:11:59,767
He meets with you, alone, or it's off.
294
00:12:00,225 --> 00:12:01,643
I'll text the address.
295
00:12:05,189 --> 00:12:07,482
Come on! I promise you this.
296
00:12:07,566 --> 00:12:09,943
They have not heard the
last of Carl Mangerman.
297
00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:16,326
Sergeant, I'd like you to meet
Richard and Dan. They are puppies.
298
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,202
Very cute, sir.
299
00:12:18,286 --> 00:12:20,986
Maybe your twins would
like some little, furry friends?
300
00:12:21,498 --> 00:12:23,416
I'm sorry, sir, but that's impossible.
301
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,378
With the twins learning how to walk,
chaos reigns at the Jeffords household.
302
00:12:27,462 --> 00:12:31,758
I can't let those innocent pups into that
madhouse. Terry won't do you like that!
303
00:12:31,842 --> 00:12:32,843
I understand.
304
00:12:33,135 --> 00:12:38,516
Just know, you have
disappointed all three of us.
305
00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:41,310
That's cold, sir.
306
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:47,232
All right, it's worth the risk.
We send him in alone.
307
00:12:47,316 --> 00:12:49,816
No, we do not.
Something doesn't smell right to me.
308
00:12:49,945 --> 00:12:51,612
Could be my dad's suit. He died in it.
309
00:12:51,696 --> 00:12:53,990
He died in it? Oh, man!
310
00:12:54,282 --> 00:12:55,450
[PHONE CHIMES]
311
00:12:57,828 --> 00:12:59,037
They just sent the location.
312
00:12:59,121 --> 00:13:00,246
DOUG: Man, this dude is cautious.
313
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:03,580
If I show up one minute late, or
I'm not alone, he's done with me.
314
00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:05,377
This is your last shot.
315
00:13:05,461 --> 00:13:07,421
I can't let the Pontiac Bandit get away.
316
00:13:07,505 --> 00:13:09,798
Put a wire on him, get a
tactical team in as back-up.
317
00:13:09,882 --> 00:13:10,883
It's the only way.
318
00:13:10,967 --> 00:13:13,093
Doug Judy and I know this guy.
You have to trust us.
319
00:13:13,177 --> 00:13:14,720
Do I? One of you is a criminal,
320
00:13:14,804 --> 00:13:16,889
and the other one is
dressed like Steve Harvey.
321
00:13:16,973 --> 00:13:18,724
It's over. I'm ending this now.
322
00:13:18,808 --> 00:13:20,602
Sorry, Jake. Seriously?
323
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,229
Yeah. A thousand push-ups.
324
00:13:23,313 --> 00:13:25,613
Well, I raise you.
Two thousand push-ups. What?
325
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,651
That's not how this works! I said a
thousand push-ups. You have to back me up.
326
00:13:28,735 --> 00:13:30,235
That's the pact. End of story.
327
00:13:30,487 --> 00:13:31,947
Well, I break the pact.
328
00:13:32,156 --> 00:13:34,157
I hope you understand
how serious this is to me.
329
00:13:34,241 --> 00:13:35,450
Come on, Rosa.
330
00:13:35,534 --> 00:13:37,453
Can't you read between the lines, man?
331
00:13:37,537 --> 00:13:39,205
Don't quote Die Hard.
332
00:13:39,372 --> 00:13:42,041
Sorry.
But we're still sending him in alone.
333
00:13:45,003 --> 00:13:46,754
We need evidence. So get him talking.
334
00:13:46,838 --> 00:13:49,591
Ask questions about
money, cars, specifics.
335
00:13:50,175 --> 00:13:52,803
I'm gettin' kind of nervous, man.
This dude is for real.
336
00:13:52,887 --> 00:13:54,221
You sure you got everything covered?
337
00:13:54,305 --> 00:13:55,555
Yeah.
338
00:13:55,639 --> 00:13:58,809
There's a body on the back door,
eyes on the side door and two guys
339
00:13:58,893 --> 00:14:00,560
out on the corner. You're gonna be fine.
340
00:14:00,644 --> 00:14:03,772
What about choppers?
You got choppers with snipers and rockets?
341
00:14:04,023 --> 00:14:07,023
No one has rocket choppers,
although that does sound amazing.
342
00:14:09,488 --> 00:14:11,906
So what did I miss?
Tell me all the jokes.
343
00:14:11,990 --> 00:14:13,540
Everything funny that happened.
344
00:14:13,742 --> 00:14:16,286
Uh, Charles, we really
need to get back to…
345
00:14:16,453 --> 00:14:18,329
Hitchcock called himself
Scully by accident.
346
00:14:18,413 --> 00:14:21,082
I did! But it brought me
and Scully closer together.
347
00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:24,001
[LAUGHS] That's great. What else?
348
00:14:24,085 --> 00:14:28,007
Oh. Oh, I laughed too hard
and lost another highlighter.
349
00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:30,050
Does anyone have skinny forearms?
350
00:14:30,134 --> 00:14:32,428
Fine. Great.
351
00:14:36,557 --> 00:14:38,142
Yeah, it's way down there by my butt.
352
00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:39,476
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it.
353
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:40,811
Is that it? Yep, yep.
354
00:14:40,895 --> 00:14:42,772
Oh. Okay. [SIGHS] Right there.
355
00:14:42,856 --> 00:14:45,275
Got it. Oh, my God.
356
00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:47,152
Where's my grandmother's ring?
357
00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:49,154
Oop. Found it.
358
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:50,697
I'll be right back.
359
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,867
AUTOMATED VOICE: Please get out of my way.
I am physically disabled.
360
00:14:53,951 --> 00:14:55,327
Please get out of my way.
361
00:14:56,703 --> 00:14:58,540
Welcome to the Boyle-free zone.
362
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:03,586
Please turn off all cell phones so as
not to attract any unwanted attention.
363
00:15:04,546 --> 00:15:05,922
Can I offer you a mint?
364
00:15:07,465 --> 00:15:09,133
We've got eyes on the Bandit.
He's a block away.
365
00:15:09,217 --> 00:15:10,552
PERALTA: You ready?
366
00:15:10,718 --> 00:15:12,618
You and me, Jakey, we were born ready.
367
00:15:12,887 --> 00:15:14,056
Go, Judy, go.
368
00:15:18,435 --> 00:15:19,436
[SHUTTER CLICKING]
369
00:15:19,562 --> 00:15:21,313
PERALTA: We meet at last, Pontiac Bandit.
370
00:15:21,397 --> 00:15:23,274
For eight years I've tracked you.
371
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,950
And today, I'm taking you down.
372
00:15:27,528 --> 00:15:30,198
Doug Judy, can you hear me?
Say something to test the wire.
373
00:15:30,282 --> 00:15:33,493
Hey, Diaz.
After we put the cuffs on this guy,
374
00:15:33,577 --> 00:15:37,622
I'll be free for dinner.
You like spaghetti and weed?
375
00:15:38,915 --> 00:15:40,125
The mic works.
376
00:15:40,917 --> 00:15:42,460
DOUG: My man. What's up?
377
00:15:42,877 --> 00:15:44,086
MAN: Pleasure to see you again.
378
00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:45,588
DOUG: Let's talk about cars.
379
00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:48,675
I got my shop up and running
again, I can do anything you want.
380
00:15:48,759 --> 00:15:52,387
Blue cars, red cars.
Big cars, small cars.
381
00:15:52,471 --> 00:15:54,473
You know… Cars. Cars…
382
00:15:54,557 --> 00:15:56,976
What's he doing? Talking about cars.
383
00:16:02,357 --> 00:16:04,484
Boyle. Where is everyone?
384
00:16:04,568 --> 00:16:06,194
Hiding from me in the evidence room.
385
00:16:06,278 --> 00:16:08,863
They think I don't know but Gina's
been live tweeting the whole thing.
386
00:16:08,947 --> 00:16:10,297
She live tweets everything.
387
00:16:10,657 --> 00:16:12,367
Ruined Downton Abbey for me.
388
00:16:12,451 --> 00:16:14,244
Maybe it was too soon
for me to come back.
389
00:16:14,328 --> 00:16:16,913
I would've just stayed at home,
but I was getting lonely and bored.
390
00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:20,447
One day I looked out the window
for four hours. I didn't see anything.
391
00:16:22,086 --> 00:16:23,087
Hmm.
392
00:16:23,296 --> 00:16:24,964
DOUG: You know what
else is great about cars?
393
00:16:25,048 --> 00:16:28,300
The way they look.
How they stop, how they start.
394
00:16:28,384 --> 00:16:29,760
That's it. I'm calling it. No!
395
00:16:29,844 --> 00:16:31,494
Move, people. We're going in now.
396
00:16:36,727 --> 00:16:38,395
DIAZ: NYPD! Down! Down! On your knees!
397
00:16:38,479 --> 00:16:39,605
Hands on your head.
398
00:16:40,397 --> 00:16:41,982
Gotcha, Pontiac Bandit.
399
00:16:42,316 --> 00:16:43,567
Where's Doug Judy?
400
00:16:43,651 --> 00:16:46,570
He went to the bathroom.
I'm just here to give him a haircut.
401
00:16:46,654 --> 00:16:47,737
I don't know what's going on!
402
00:16:47,821 --> 00:16:51,534
A likely story, Pontiac… But actually
you do have a lot of hair products.
403
00:16:51,618 --> 00:16:52,994
He's gone. He ran.
404
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:54,245
Why would he do that?
405
00:16:54,329 --> 00:16:55,788
He helped us catch the Pontiac Bandit.
406
00:16:55,872 --> 00:16:57,582
That was the deal.
It doesn't make any sense, unless…
407
00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,266
Doug Judy is the Pontiac Bandit.
408
00:17:00,627 --> 00:17:03,672
Put out an APB.
Seal off everything for a 20-block radius.
409
00:17:04,005 --> 00:17:06,466
Yeah, don't bother looking for me.
I'm in the wind.
410
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:07,634
[IMITATES WIND HOWLING]
411
00:17:07,718 --> 00:17:10,596
If you're close enough for me to hear you,
you're close enough for me to catch you.
412
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,682
Nah. I got a relay set up, brother.
413
00:17:13,224 --> 00:17:15,434
So if you're the Pontiac
Bandit, who's this joker?
414
00:17:15,518 --> 00:17:17,853
DOUG: Couple years ago
you were getting really close,
415
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,647
so I started telling all my
associates if they ever got caught,
416
00:17:20,731 --> 00:17:22,274
they should describe me as…
417
00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:24,736
Asian dude, 5'8", spiky hair…
418
00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:25,945
Wears diamond earrings. And has a…
419
00:17:26,029 --> 00:17:27,072
British accent.
420
00:17:27,197 --> 00:17:29,824
So then you hired a guy who
matched that exact description.
421
00:17:29,908 --> 00:17:33,358
No, no, no, no, no. That's my barber,
Norman Lee. He gave me the idea.
422
00:17:33,745 --> 00:17:35,496
You know if you can't
come in, I do house calls.
423
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:38,830
You just text me a location, and
I could be there in half an hour.
424
00:17:39,419 --> 00:17:40,419
Good to know.
425
00:17:40,503 --> 00:17:42,796
You know, you should
actually use him while he's there.
426
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,131
He'll give you a dope fade.
427
00:17:44,215 --> 00:17:46,634
I get dope enough fades from
my current barber, thank you.
428
00:17:46,718 --> 00:17:48,344
So you dragged us
over here, went in there,
429
00:17:48,428 --> 00:17:51,055
pretended to talk and then
snuck out the basement, am I right?
430
00:17:51,139 --> 00:17:54,725
DOUG: The basement connected to another
basement, which connected to a garage.
431
00:17:54,809 --> 00:17:56,436
Which is where my boy picked me up.
432
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:57,813
Your boy?
433
00:17:58,230 --> 00:18:00,482
Oh, that guy from the
meet-up, he works for you.
434
00:18:00,566 --> 00:18:01,566
Woop. Woop. Woop.
435
00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:03,777
He pretended to be spooked
by me and Diaz in the parking lot,
436
00:18:03,861 --> 00:18:06,404
to make sure that we'd let you
go to the next meeting by yourself.
437
00:18:06,488 --> 00:18:08,031
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
438
00:18:08,115 --> 00:18:09,407
You win a teddy bear!
439
00:18:09,491 --> 00:18:11,744
You lied to me, Doug Judy.
I gotta be honest.
440
00:18:11,828 --> 00:18:13,528
I'm pretty disappointed right now.
441
00:18:13,913 --> 00:18:15,414
I mean, was that even really your mom?
442
00:18:15,498 --> 00:18:16,624
Hell, yeah, that's my real mom.
443
00:18:16,708 --> 00:18:19,502
I wanted to see her one
last time before I disappeared.
444
00:18:20,462 --> 00:18:22,088
I told you I was sensitive, Rosa.
445
00:18:22,172 --> 00:18:25,091
Yeah, you did. Why don't you come
back here and take me out to dinner?
446
00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:28,720
Ah.
[LAUGHS] I know you're trying to trap me,
447
00:18:28,804 --> 00:18:30,848
but crazy thing is, I'm tempted.
448
00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:34,768
That's how hot I find you. Sorry, it
had to go down this way, Peralta.
449
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,937
Maybe we could've been
friends in another world,
450
00:18:37,021 --> 00:18:39,732
if I hadn't just fooled
you like a little bitch!
451
00:18:41,442 --> 00:18:43,027
[LAUGHS] Bitch!
452
00:18:45,030 --> 00:18:46,156
Okay.
453
00:18:51,787 --> 00:18:54,414
Hey, Captain. We thought we'd
get more work done in here because…
454
00:18:54,498 --> 00:18:56,290
You're all hiding from Boyle.
455
00:18:56,374 --> 00:18:58,168
Not me, Captain. I was napping.
456
00:18:58,460 --> 00:18:59,586
That's worse.
457
00:18:59,670 --> 00:19:01,588
Captain, we all think Boyle's a hero,
458
00:19:01,672 --> 00:19:04,091
but it's very difficult to
be around him right now.
459
00:19:04,175 --> 00:19:07,345
I was in the bathroom with him, sir.
It was a nightmare.
460
00:19:07,845 --> 00:19:10,431
Hey, Sarge.
This cast has a special crotch hole.
461
00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:12,315
It's like a doggy door for my penis.
462
00:19:12,892 --> 00:19:13,976
Shake.
463
00:19:16,146 --> 00:19:18,196
That man took a bullet for this precinct!
464
00:19:18,732 --> 00:19:21,359
He's a guy who is always
looking for love and friendship,
465
00:19:21,443 --> 00:19:23,445
and he needs it now more than ever.
466
00:19:23,654 --> 00:19:25,504
But you all turned your backs on him!
467
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:28,408
And you should all be
ashamed of yourselves.
468
00:19:28,992 --> 00:19:30,201
[GIGGLING]
469
00:19:30,285 --> 00:19:32,913
I'm sorry. Those puppies are so cute.
470
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:35,333
They do undercut your tone a bit, sir.
471
00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:39,017
But on the plus side, I think
I know what to do with them.
472
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:45,510
Detective Boyle, I think you might be
able to give these dogs a good home.
473
00:19:47,929 --> 00:19:48,930
[GROANS]
474
00:19:49,014 --> 00:19:50,265
AUTOMATED VOICE: You are off the scooter.
475
00:19:50,349 --> 00:19:52,309
If you have fallen, please call a doctor.
476
00:19:52,393 --> 00:19:56,188
I don't know, Captain, I don't
know if I should… Okay. Oh.
477
00:19:56,272 --> 00:19:57,273
[CHUCKLES]
478
00:19:57,982 --> 00:20:01,485
It tickles. They like me so much.
479
00:20:02,695 --> 00:20:03,904
[SOBS]
480
00:20:04,489 --> 00:20:05,866
Are you crying, Santiago?
481
00:20:06,283 --> 00:20:07,700
I'm so allergic.
482
00:20:07,784 --> 00:20:10,034
Can you tell the scooter
to call an ambulance?
483
00:20:10,412 --> 00:20:11,413
[INHALES DEEPLY]
484
00:20:12,455 --> 00:20:16,417
Hey. So, I went back to the mom's house.
485
00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:18,211
Unsurprisingly, a dead end.
486
00:20:18,295 --> 00:20:19,879
I got a lot of work to do, Peralta.
487
00:20:19,963 --> 00:20:22,424
Wait. I wanna say something.
488
00:20:22,508 --> 00:20:25,427
We've worked together long enough
that I know how much you hate apologies.
489
00:20:25,511 --> 00:20:29,014
I just wanna ask you to join
the Doug Judy case, officially.
490
00:20:29,098 --> 00:20:30,766
As partners. I want to catch this guy
491
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,350
and I can't do it without you.
492
00:20:33,394 --> 00:20:34,896
No. You can't.
493
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:38,024
Now, I believe I owe
you a thousand push-ups.
494
00:20:38,108 --> 00:20:41,277
I don't care about the push-ups, Jake.
I care that you didn't honor our pact.
495
00:20:41,361 --> 00:20:42,737
I've always trusted you,
and when you did that,
496
00:20:42,821 --> 00:20:43,905
it made me feel like you don't trust me.
497
00:20:43,989 --> 00:20:45,782
I know. And I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.
498
00:20:45,866 --> 00:20:48,660
No. It won't. Now get down on the floor.
499
00:20:48,744 --> 00:20:50,495
What? You just said you
didn't care about the push-ups.
500
00:20:50,579 --> 00:20:51,788
I changed my mind.
501
00:20:52,456 --> 00:20:53,625
Fair enough.
502
00:20:55,376 --> 00:20:56,586
A pact's a pact.
503
00:20:57,921 --> 00:20:58,922
[GRUNTS]
504
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:02,800
One, two, three…
505
00:21:03,927 --> 00:21:05,094
Six hundred twelve.
506
00:21:05,178 --> 00:21:06,220
Night, Peralta.
507
00:21:06,304 --> 00:21:07,430
-Night.
-WOMAN: Night.
508
00:21:10,935 --> 00:21:14,271
Six hundred and thirteen. Hey, Ronald.
509
00:21:16,357 --> 00:21:17,358
[GROANS]
510
00:21:19,109 --> 00:21:22,779
One thousand is so many push-ups.
511
00:21:22,863 --> 00:21:25,283
I'm never gonna make it. What am I at?
512
00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,201
Nine hundred and one.
513
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:28,911
Thank you, Captain.
514
00:21:28,995 --> 00:21:31,205
-You said two thousand. Remember?
-[GROANS]
515
00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:33,208
I should've trusted you! [SOBS]
39669
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