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1
00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:05,870
So, Danuta, you still haven't
said how you and Marco met.
2
00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:07,747
Oh, no. [CHUCKLES] Here we go.
3
00:00:07,782 --> 00:00:11,343
Well, Marco here
is the reigning champion
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,879
on a certain quiz show
on Langley Public Radio.
5
00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,815
Oh, you mean "Oo Oo, I Know That"?
6
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,350
A ding ding dong.
7
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,684
When they asked him
8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,687
who his favorite philosopher was,
he said,
9
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,557
"I Kant remember."
10
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,359
His wit was bone dry,
11
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,762
but I was quite the opposite.
12
00:00:29,764 --> 00:00:31,896
[LAUGHTER]
13
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:36,701
Okay, soup, this time you're mine.
14
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,970
Ow!
15
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:40,572
That sneaky stuff just
falls off the spoon so fast!
16
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:43,241
Babe, remember, flip your spoon over
17
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:44,909
so it's like a little bowl.
18
00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:46,110
Ohhhhh!
19
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,113
Like a little soup bowl
20
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:49,314
- on a stick!
- On a stick.
21
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,249
Yes, Jeff, very good, Jeff.
22
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,985
And how did you two meet?
23
00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:55,387
Oh, it's so hard to recall.
24
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,990
I fell into the touch
tank at the aquarium!
25
00:00:57,992 --> 00:00:59,458
Hayley pulled me out.
26
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,725
Oh, that's right.
27
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,461
We're actually going to a benefit
28
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:04,329
at the aquarium with Johanna this...
29
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:05,998
Johanna Gurney-Schaffner?
30
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,533
The host of "This Way or That"
on Langley Public Radio?
31
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,068
Wha...?! You hang out with her?!
32
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,804
Oh, she's a dear friend.
33
00:01:11,806 --> 00:01:14,406
We actually went to the new
Almódovar film with her
34
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,407
just last night.
35
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,429
Unngh! Have you seen it?
36
00:01:17,464 --> 00:01:20,545
Oh, I really wanted to,
but Jeff kinda likes to watch
37
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,814
the same movie over and over,
38
00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:23,816
so right now most nights we're watching
39
00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:26,618
"The Land Before Time:
The Secret of Saurus Rock."
40
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,887
Hayley has to explain a lot of it to me,
41
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,423
but I'm this close to understanding
42
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,492
that dragons couldn't actually talk.
43
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,893
Dinosaurs.
44
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,095
Dinosnaurs.
45
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,764
♪♪
46
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,234
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
47
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:45,570
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
48
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,507
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
49
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:52,511
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
50
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,649
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
51
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,185
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
52
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,387
Aah!
53
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:05,390
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
54
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,658
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
55
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,261
[MOANING, GIGGLING]
56
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,462
HAYLEY: Ooohhh!
57
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,730
Mmmmmm... Marco!
58
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:12,931
- JEFF: Polo!
- What?
59
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,266
What?
60
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,535
Wait just one minute.
61
00:02:17,586 --> 00:02:18,137
_
62
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,738
[GASPS] You were thinking about
63
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,740
Danuta's smarty-pants boyfriend!
64
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,141
Jeff, I love you.
65
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,477
I just...
I can't even remember the last time
66
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,746
we had an intelligent
conversation about anything.
67
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,348
We talked for hours about "Mad Men"!
68
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,350
Because I had to keep explaining
69
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:33,685
that you didn't have to be scared,
70
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,554
because the men weren't mad at you!
71
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,822
Well, maybe you should
watch it with Narco.
72
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,593
- Marco.
- Polo!
73
00:02:39,628 --> 00:02:41,025
Ohmygod-why-are-you-so-dumb?!
74
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:42,427
[YELPS]
75
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:43,628
Jeff, I'm sorry.
76
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:44,897
I-I just got frustrated.
77
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:46,899
- Where are you going?
- Out!
78
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:48,433
Jeff, those are my pants.
79
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,303
I know. I happen to, um...
80
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:54,206
like the way they make my butt look.
81
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,977
KLAUS: Jeff! Lookin' good!
82
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,313
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS]
83
00:03:02,027 --> 00:03:04,048
Oh, man, what if Hayley leaves me
84
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,984
because I'm too dumb for her?
85
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,052
Who's gonna tie my shoes?!
86
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:10,188
[WHISTLES] 'ey. Jeffy-boy.
87
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,324
What up, man? Little moonlight stroll?
88
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,525
Mr. S?
89
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,859
Why are you out so late?
90
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,394
Collecting critters.
91
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:17,729
Dr. Weitzman needs animals
92
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,864
for a new experiment
he's doing at the CIA.
93
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,333
The agent that brings in the most
94
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,535
gets to go to McDonald's in a limo.
95
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,937
Whoa!
96
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:27,806
Say, Roger was helping me,
but he quit on me.
97
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,742
Got bit trying to nab a copperhead snake
98
00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:31,543
and just went straight
to the emergency room,
99
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,611
like a quitter.
100
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,678
You wanna help me out?
101
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,880
[POSSUM SQUEAKS]
102
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,683
Mr. S, can I talk to you
about something?
103
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:40,085
Not if I turn on the radio!
104
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,553
[SWITCH CLICKS]
105
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,355
- [GASPS] Critter!
- [TIRES SCREECH]
106
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,958
JOHANNA GURNEY-SCHAFFNER:
"This Way or That" is made possible
107
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,807
by the Arthur and Elaine
T. McKennon Foundation.
108
00:03:48,842 --> 00:03:51,163
- [GRUNTING] Get back here, you little...
- Creating a brighter generation
109
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,498
through the power of public radio.
110
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,435
- You're coming with me.
- And SmutPile.com.
111
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,437
Check it out. Stray dog.
112
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,438
[MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
113
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,906
Can you change the station?
114
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:05,243
This is that Jo-hannis
Grundy ShniffShnaff lady
115
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,979
Hayley loves so much.
116
00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:09,247
Ugh, yeah, I hate this nerd shit, too.
117
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,984
That nerd Francine must've
been driving my car.
118
00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:14,052
- Let's listen to some Stern!
- [BEEP]
119
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,054
DANIEL STERN:
A lotta people don't know this,
120
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:19,591
but I was high every day
of shooting "City Slickers."
121
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,726
I'm of course talking
about Daniel Stern's
122
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,662
autobiography on Audible.
123
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:27,566
Also, Jack Palance was soooo strong.
124
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,403
♪♪
125
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,071
Well, Misterrrr...
126
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,139
Pastafocaccia.
127
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,342
You seem to have fully
recovered from your snakebite.
128
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:38,544
So that just leaves
the small matter of...
129
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,279
uh-the bill!
130
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,014
Sweet Child O' Mine!
131
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,816
Why is it so darn much, Doc?
132
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,152
Because antivenom is scarce.
133
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,955
Yeahp, if someone went out right now
134
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,490
and harvested venom
from poisonous snakes,
135
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,359
which is what antivenom is made from,
136
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:56,428
they could make quite the pretty penny.
137
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:57,763
Why are you telling me this?
138
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:58,964
I'm a doctor!
139
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,498
I'm all about that sweet
140
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:04,102
mmmmoneymoneymoneymoneymoney
moneymmmoneymoneymoney!
141
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,370
Hmmm.
142
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,973
"Money, money, money, money," you say?
143
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,107
No, like this...
144
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,976
Mmmoneymoneymoney
moneymoneymoneymoney...
145
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,978
Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah,
moneymoney moneymoneymoney!
146
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:17,916
BOTH: Moneymoneymoneymoneymoney
moneymoneymoneymoneymoney...
147
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,184
Now eskimo kisses!
148
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,186
Moneymoneymoneymoneymoney
moneymoneymoneymoney...
149
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,488
[FLASHERS CLICKING]
150
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:27,396
Wait here while I run these
bad boys on down to Dr. Dubs.
151
00:05:27,431 --> 00:05:30,252
What kind of experiment is
the doctor working on, anyway?
152
00:05:30,287 --> 00:05:31,930
Eh, some kind of experimental surgery
153
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,731
to increase intelligence or some crap.
154
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:35,867
[GASPS] Do you think
he could do it to me?
155
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,135
Dumb guy like you?
156
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,736
I can see why you'd be interested.
157
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,538
But he still hasn't
perfected the operation.
158
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:41,940
Most of these animals'll end up
159
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,942
dimmer than an Amish Christmas tree.
160
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,343
[OWL SCREECHES]
161
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,080
I like that you screeched
at my joke, wise old owl.
162
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,249
You I might just keep for myself.
163
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,953
Sure is spooky here after dark.
164
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,822
[OMINOUS MUSIC, WHOOSHING]
165
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,091
Aah! Babadook!
166
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:00,292
I wish.
167
00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:02,282
It's just stupid old me.
168
00:06:02,317 --> 00:06:04,265
I was making ramen on my hotplate
169
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:05,764
and the dang pot fell on my head.
170
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:06,832
Oh, phew!
171
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,033
What are you doing here?
172
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,767
My girlfriend kicked me out!
173
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:12,304
Aw, that's awful, Mr. Whoever-You-Are.
174
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:15,173
Take it from me, kid,
don't ever be in a relationship
175
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,175
with someone smarter than you.
176
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,911
It won't last.
177
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,313
[DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN]
178
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:22,714
Dr. Wishbone,
179
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,250
I'd like to volunteer
for your a-speriment.
180
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:28,253
Oh, I would love to have
a human test subject,
181
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:31,256
but you should know there's a 99% chance
182
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,724
you'll end up brain-dead.
183
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,793
Uhhh, 99 out of a million?
184
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:39,397
I think I'll take my chances.
185
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,833
[THUD]
186
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,677
♪♪
187
00:06:44,867 --> 00:06:46,872
- _
- Tell you what, Screechy,
188
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:50,208
maybe the move is to track
down this beautiful sicko.
189
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,943
Score ten dogs at once.
190
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,611
[OWL SCREECHES]
191
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:54,946
Dad, have you seen Jeff?
192
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,348
He never came home last night.
193
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,683
Oh, yeah, he volunteered himself
194
00:06:57,685 --> 00:07:00,018
for a deadly experimental
surgery at the CIA.
195
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,620
What?! Why didn't you stop him?!
196
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:04,823
I guess I don't care
whether he lives or dies.
197
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,492
Ughhh!
198
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,559
Hoo.
199
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:08,760
Jeff.
200
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,163
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
201
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,233
Stop this atrocity at once!
202
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,835
Oh, Hayley, I'm glad you're here.
203
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,371
As Jeff's legal guardian,
you need to sign this release
204
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,039
before I can do the operation.
205
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:24,109
You must be suckin'
the glass [BLEEP] if you think
206
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:27,312
I am gonna give Jeff permission
to go through with this...
207
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:29,515
"Intelligence Enhancement"?
208
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,316
Out of curiosity, has this worked
209
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,185
on any of your test animals?
210
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:36,788
There's one goose that's now in Mensa.
211
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:37,856
[GOOSE HONKS]
212
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,192
Did I get it right this time, Doc?
213
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,194
Oh, if it isn't Babe.
214
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:43,729
Hopefully here to stop me
215
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:46,664
from doing this super dangerous thing.
216
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,933
He's all yours, Doc!
217
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,134
Oh.
218
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,069
[SAW WHIRRING]
219
00:07:51,071 --> 00:08:00,612
♪♪
220
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:09,687
♪♪
221
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,289
JEFF: [WEAKLY] Hayley?
222
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,624
Dr. Weitzman?
223
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:13,691
Smart Goose?
224
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:15,894
- Did it work?
- Let's find out.
225
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,763
Which of the little people
226
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,698
is wearing his hospital gown correctly?
227
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,634
- This one.
- [HAYLEY AND DR. WEITZMAN SIGH]
228
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,503
...seems to have had a
bit of a sartorial snafu.
229
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:29,441
- Hm?!
- He's taken his "privates" public, so to speak.
230
00:08:29,443 --> 00:08:31,709
One might even call it an IPO...
231
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,646
an Ignominious Penile Ostentation.
232
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,713
[GOOSE HONKS]
233
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:38,383
You can honk that again, Squawky.
234
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,718
Now, he will need to avoid marijuana,
235
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,921
which could dull the
effects of the procedure.
236
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,723
I can also tell you
that is a fake diploma.
237
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,192
He's not wrong.
238
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,128
♪♪
239
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,664
Ah, Mr. Fischer, welcome back!
240
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:55,533
Shall I bring for you
extra children's menus
241
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,536
so you may attempt the maze
as many times as you like?
242
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,671
Merci, non.
243
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,339
Une bouteille de Châteauneuf-du-Pape
244
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,742
et du pain pour la table,
s'il vous plaît.
245
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,011
You have exposed my secret shame.
246
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:09,080
I am not French,
nor do I speak the language.
247
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,683
Did Jeff take a ten-gallon Gingko enema
248
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,152
this morning or what?
'Cause he seems, like,
249
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,221
a billion times smarter
than he used to be.
250
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,223
I know! Isn't it great?
251
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,959
Per te, amore mio.
252
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,694
Say what you will about Seurat.
253
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,096
No one can accuse his art of being...
254
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,965
pointless.
255
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,835
That is so witty, it's almost funny.
256
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:32,570
You know, Johanna
is hosting a small fundraiser
257
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,507
for the McKennon Foundation at
her lake house this weekend.
258
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:37,309
You guys should come.
259
00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:38,444
[SCREAMS]
260
00:09:38,446 --> 00:09:40,446
As they say in Reykjavík...
261
00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:45,583
[SPEAKING ICELANDIC]
262
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,052
What he said.
263
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,387
[BIRD SCREECHING]
264
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,457
So, by now, Barry's going back
265
00:09:51,459 --> 00:09:53,258
to the Steve Madden a third time...
266
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,592
Shhh, shh, shut up.
267
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,728
Your story sucks, and I hear a rattler.
268
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,263
[RATTLING]
269
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,111
Oingo boingo, we got cornbread!
270
00:10:01,146 --> 00:10:02,300
Here. Take some clackers
271
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,602
- and work that string bean on outta there.
- [TONGS CLACK]
272
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,404
What?! Why would I do that?!
273
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,140
Because I'm Chazz Babylon,
274
00:10:08,142 --> 00:10:10,142
Speculative Venom Harvester.
275
00:10:10,144 --> 00:10:11,477
And you're my bag man.
276
00:10:11,479 --> 00:10:13,611
You told me you were Chico Dungaree,
277
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,080
Former Twisted Sister Roadie,
278
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,415
and that we were just
going on a nature walk!
279
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,763
Chazz Babylon is a pathological liar.
280
00:10:19,798 --> 00:10:21,019
Now get clackin'!
281
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,220
I will not!
282
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,156
The world needs antivenom, Steve.
283
00:10:24,158 --> 00:10:26,024
Think of how many lives we'll save.
284
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,160
[SIGHING] Alright, we can try.
285
00:10:28,162 --> 00:10:30,896
Okay, now first we gotta
clack him outta that bush.
286
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,030
[TONGS CLACKING]
287
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,965
- [SNAKE HISSING]
- Now hold up a second.
288
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,734
I wanna make sure we got a good one.
289
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:37,903
Ow! It's him!
290
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:39,771
- And he nipped me!
- Oh, my God!
291
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,973
I got nipped! Quick, grab his tail!
292
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,241
[SCREAMING]
293
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,177
Ooh, he's mad now!
Oh, he nipped me again!
294
00:10:45,179 --> 00:10:46,578
I got nipped! You get nipped?
295
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:48,246
Ohh! Yow! I got nipped!
296
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,781
- I got nipped!
- I'm gettin' nipped!
297
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:50,982
- Ohh!
- Ow! Oww!
298
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,117
I'm gettin' nipped
a whole bunch right now!
299
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,185
- Ow!
- Let's bag this sucker!
300
00:10:53,187 --> 00:10:55,453
- [SCREAMING]
- Get him in there!
301
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,522
Aah! I'm trying!
302
00:10:56,524 --> 00:10:59,758
[BOTH SCREAMING]
303
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,460
Ah! We did it, Steve.
304
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,930
[SCREAMING]
305
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,464
Oh, my God.
306
00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:08,200
He doesn't have his clackers.
307
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:09,935
He's doomed!
308
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,073
Wife. Noun.
309
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,809
A woman who regrets a decision.
310
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,812
[LAUGHTER, FINGER SNAPPING]
311
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,948
What then of "husband"?
312
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:25,351
The man who begets her derision.
313
00:11:25,353 --> 00:11:26,684
[LAUGHTER]
314
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,753
More snaps!
315
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:30,488
More snaps for you!
316
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,558
Jeff, we simply have to have you
317
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,560
as a contestant on "Oo Oo, I Know That."
318
00:11:34,562 --> 00:11:36,294
Johanna's going to be a guest panelist.
319
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:39,231
- What do you say, Johanna?
- Certainly.
320
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:41,099
So long as he helps me with this devil
321
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,501
of a New Yorker caption contest.
322
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:44,702
Any suggestions?
323
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,438
JEFF: Hmm...
324
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,706
How about, "I've heard of a bull market,
325
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,508
but this is ridiculous"?
326
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,177
[LAUGHTER]
327
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:55,914
Or, "Of course
on the day I wear my red tie."
328
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:59,585
Or, "Everybody has been
saying the new guy is horny."
329
00:11:59,587 --> 00:12:01,853
"Think that belt is real leather?"
330
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,055
"I heard this place had fresh beef,
331
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,258
but this is ridiculous!"
332
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:09,127
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
333
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,896
Now you do one, babe.
334
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:14,399
Uhhhhhhh...
335
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,068
Business...
336
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:17,603
bull.
337
00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:19,404
- Ugh. That's just...
- That doesn't quite connect.
338
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,606
- Nice try, but...
- Very, very bad.
339
00:12:20,608 --> 00:12:22,140
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
340
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,075
[SNORING]
341
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,245
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
342
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,815
[CHOKING]
343
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:32,217
What th... A weed gummy?
344
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,620
You know that could affect my treatment!
345
00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:36,755
Oh, my God, a-are you trying to...
346
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:37,889
sabotage me?!
347
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:40,158
ALEXA: Playing "Rabbitage" by Weird Al.
348
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,428
♪ I'll nab cabbage ♪
349
00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,229
- Alexa, off!
- ♪ And do my da... ♪
350
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,432
You know, Johanna was right about you.
351
00:12:46,434 --> 00:12:49,034
You are pathologically insecure.
352
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,437
Wh... You've been talking
to Johanna about us?
353
00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:54,306
First you risk my life
to make me smarter,
354
00:12:54,308 --> 00:12:57,042
now you nearly kill me
trying to dumb me back down?!
355
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,510
I'm sorry, Jeff!
356
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:01,046
I-I was scared you were
getting too smart for me and...
357
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,780
But I should thank you.
358
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,316
Because now that I am smart,
359
00:13:04,318 --> 00:13:07,986
I finally see what a
selfish person you are.
360
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,788
No, Jeff, please don't see that!
361
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,323
I never cared you weren't
362
00:13:11,325 --> 00:13:13,525
the most erudite person in the world.
363
00:13:13,527 --> 00:13:17,996
But I can't be with someone
who's downright flagitious!
364
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,265
[GASPS]
365
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,467
[DOOR SLAMS]
366
00:13:21,469 --> 00:13:22,800
F-L...
367
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,870
- It means "villainous"!
- I know what it means!
368
00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,171
[DOOR SLAMS]
369
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,238
♪♪
370
00:13:30,239 --> 00:13:32,354
_
371
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,346
Well, Screechy, he did it.
372
00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:37,082
- He won the Tournament of Champions.
- Hoo.
373
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,151
Don't make me say his name, Screech.
374
00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:40,486
Hayley, honey?
375
00:13:40,488 --> 00:13:42,620
The ice cream truck just came by.
376
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:46,358
I got you one of those
[BLEEP]-up Sonic the Hedgehogs.
377
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,160
[SIGHS] Thanks, Mom.
378
00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:49,961
You've just seemed so sad
379
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,430
these last few months since Jeff left.
380
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,366
No, we've both moved on.
381
00:13:54,368 --> 00:13:55,834
He's with Johanna now,
382
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,704
and I'm happy with my new boyfriend...
383
00:13:58,706 --> 00:14:02,307
- Myron.
- Dahhh, 'ey 'ayley, lookit!
384
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:05,177
I knocked it right outta
its nest with a rock
385
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:08,046
from all the way a long ways.
386
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,181
Like, ungh!
387
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:12,450
Myron, you're gonna get West Nile again.
388
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,520
Aw, you got a Sonic bar?
389
00:14:14,522 --> 00:14:16,388
Gimme! [MUNCHING]
390
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:18,524
Let's go ta the old tire factory
391
00:14:18,526 --> 00:14:21,126
'n whip this bird against the big rock!
392
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,794
[CHUCKLES, GRUNTS]
393
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:24,129
[CHUCKLING]
394
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,531
[SIGHS]
395
00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:30,402
I wish Stan would take me places.
396
00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:32,804
- Waaaaah! Rock-throw!
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
397
00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:34,472
Million points!
398
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,474
'ey, 'ayley! You see that?
399
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:37,409
[LAUGHS]
400
00:14:37,411 --> 00:14:40,011
Yes, Myron, very good, Myron.
401
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,880
♪ I'll nab cabbage and... ♪
402
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,416
Gouda Tenuta, what's nuts?
403
00:14:44,418 --> 00:14:46,017
Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.
404
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,853
Marco's been missing for how long?
405
00:14:49,557 --> 00:14:52,090
Listen, I've been doing
a lot of research.
406
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,360
Every male winner of the
Tournament of Champions
407
00:14:54,362 --> 00:14:56,562
has gone missing a few weeks later.
408
00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:59,297
And it has something to do
with the McKennon Foundation.
409
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,633
Oh, Hayley, conspiracy theories
410
00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:04,236
are the refuge of the dispossessed.
411
00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:05,904
Kava root ristretto?
412
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:06,972
Jeff, please.
413
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:09,307
I think you may be in
some kind of danger.
414
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,909
Only of losing my patience!
415
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,978
Clearly, you've transmuted your guilt
416
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,913
over destroying our relationship
417
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,982
into this absurd fairy tale.
418
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:20,486
Well, enough. It is over between us.
419
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,456
[PANTING]
420
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,728
Forget about her, lover.
421
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:34,066
A brighter future awaits us.
422
00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:36,201
Let's play at puns.
423
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:38,937
"Air Hare", ten letters.
424
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,032
Hmm. Kite Rabbit?
425
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:43,875
Close. But the answer is actually...
426
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,677
- Ether bunny!
- [MUFFLED SCREAM]
427
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:47,946
[EVIL CHUCKLE] Come now, Jeff.
428
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,581
Destiny calls.
429
00:15:51,752 --> 00:15:52,818
[DOOR BANGS]
430
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:55,087
Wakey, wakey, milk some snakeys!
431
00:15:55,089 --> 00:15:57,889
Time to get out there again,
right back on the horse.
432
00:15:57,891 --> 00:15:58,957
Clack clack clack!
433
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,159
You must be suckin' the glass [BLEEP]
434
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,228
if you think I'm going
back out with you.
435
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,096
You were never out to save lives.
436
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,564
You just wanted to make money.
437
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,233
It may have started out
being about the money,
438
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:09,635
but not anymore.
439
00:16:09,637 --> 00:16:11,503
Well, maybe a little.
I did sink quite a bit
440
00:16:11,505 --> 00:16:13,505
into having all these T-shirts made.
441
00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:16,775
But otherwise,
now it's all about saving lives.
442
00:16:16,777 --> 00:16:19,777
I won't rest until
every snakebite victim
443
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:22,114
has the antivenom they need.
444
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,149
- [SNAKE HISSES]
- Aah!
445
00:16:25,453 --> 00:16:26,551
Aah!
446
00:16:27,321 --> 00:16:29,387
Aah! Aah!
447
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:30,722
Aah! Aah!
448
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,424
Aah! Aah!
449
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,394
Aah!
450
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:37,863
I'm afraid you've single-handedly
451
00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:40,798
depleted the world's
entire supply of antivenom.
452
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,935
Many have died, and now you will, too.
453
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,603
Clack's all...
454
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:46,804
folks.
455
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,206
[MONITOR FLATLINES]
456
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,142
[GASPS] My Chazz!
457
00:16:50,144 --> 00:16:51,677
Noooooooo!
458
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:53,879
[JEFF GROANS]
459
00:16:53,881 --> 00:16:56,682
[GASPS] The Meisterzucht awakes!
460
00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:57,949
Wh-Where am I?
461
00:16:57,951 --> 00:17:01,487
At the threshold of a new age.
462
00:17:01,489 --> 00:17:02,821
Welcome...
463
00:17:02,823 --> 00:17:06,091
to the McKennon Foundation!
464
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,559
Why are you doing this?!
465
00:17:07,561 --> 00:17:10,295
Why, to create a brighter generation,
466
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:14,432
free of dumdums,
dingdongs, and dingalings.
467
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,768
We use "Oo Oo, I Know That"
468
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:20,706
to identify intellects of
the highest genetic caliber,
469
00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:23,375
then harvest their seed to be...
470
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:26,512
- disseminated...
- [LAUGHTER]
471
00:17:26,514 --> 00:17:29,848
Pun uh-very much intended. [CHUCKLES]
472
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:32,851
...to fertility clinics the world over!
473
00:17:32,853 --> 00:17:37,923
And you, Jeff,
you are the most smartest one of all.
474
00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:40,058
Der Meisterzucht!
475
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,993
The Master Stud!
476
00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:43,896
Commence milking!
477
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:47,999
[MEN SCREAMING]
478
00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:50,468
Yaaaaaaawwww,
you might think this would feel good,
479
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,271
but it's agonyyyyyy!
480
00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:54,540
[SCREAMING]
481
00:17:54,542 --> 00:17:55,774
[SCREAM FADES]
482
00:17:57,945 --> 00:18:00,546
Ready the Meisterzucht for harvest!
483
00:18:00,548 --> 00:18:03,415
Wait, no! No, listen...
My genes are useless to you.
484
00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:05,951
My intelligence stems from
biomedical intervention!
485
00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:08,954
Uh, you don't think we all
already tried that old chestnut...
486
00:18:08,956 --> 00:18:11,156
My balls!
487
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,426
Milk the Meisterzucht!
488
00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:19,498
Yah, Myron! Yah!
489
00:18:22,036 --> 00:18:24,035
Myron! Attack!
490
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:25,771
Rock! Bird! Bird!
491
00:18:25,773 --> 00:18:27,639
- Rock! Rat!
- [GRUNTING]
492
00:18:27,641 --> 00:18:29,575
[ALL SHOUTING]
493
00:18:29,577 --> 00:18:31,509
Let's get outta here.
494
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:36,648
♪♪
495
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,383
[BANGING]
496
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:39,717
You came for me.
497
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,053
Even though it means
now you'll die, too.
498
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:43,388
What can I say?
499
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,723
I think my problem all along has been,
500
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,325
when it comes to you,
501
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,661
I'm just a great big dummy.
502
00:18:49,663 --> 00:18:50,862
[BANGING CONTINUES]
503
00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:52,530
We gotta think of a way out of here.
504
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,532
But those are some of the
most intelligent people
505
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,734
in the world out there.
506
00:18:55,736 --> 00:18:57,669
- We'll never outsmart them.
- No.
507
00:18:57,671 --> 00:19:00,272
But we may be able to outstupid them.
508
00:19:00,274 --> 00:19:03,008
I need to be dumb again,
so I can think up a plan
509
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:05,343
so stupid they could never expect it.
510
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,813
How? We don't have any weed!
511
00:19:07,815 --> 00:19:11,016
The answer's as easy as autolobotomy.
512
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:14,419
[SQUISHING]
513
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,154
[POP]
514
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:19,625
Have you ever wondered what
the colors on maps mean?
515
00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:21,759
They gotta mean something.
516
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,862
Quick, what's your stupid plan?
517
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,099
Since Vaseline is clear,
518
00:19:27,101 --> 00:19:30,235
once we cover ourselves in it...
519
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,170
...we become absolutely,
520
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:35,173
one-million-percent invisible.
521
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,709
Oh, wow, this is stupid.
522
00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:39,645
Seize them!
523
00:19:41,982 --> 00:19:43,048
Ugh!
524
00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:47,886
Uch, they're too damn slippery!
525
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:49,988
Whoo!
526
00:19:49,990 --> 00:19:52,591
[ALARM BLARING, MACHINERY CLANKING]
527
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:56,995
[GASPS]
528
00:19:56,997 --> 00:19:58,796
The Spank Tank!
529
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,399
All our precious seed!
530
00:20:04,538 --> 00:20:07,339
♪♪
531
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,840
_
532
00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:11,943
CARTOON DINOSAUR: C'mon, Snugglesaurus,
533
00:20:11,945 --> 00:20:14,812
we can still make it
to the Great Valley.
534
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:15,881
You know what I'm wondering?
535
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,415
If we maybe should've tried to save
536
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,950
those other men in that basement?
537
00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:20,085
No.
538
00:20:20,087 --> 00:20:22,287
Do you think all the
dinosnaurs stayed friends
539
00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:24,289
when they were done shooting the movie?
540
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:26,892
Babe, don't ever change.
541
00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:29,128
Have a great night!
542
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,631
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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