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1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:03,546
Sure you don't mind
Watching him at your place?
2
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:05,904
Nah, nah, nah. It's
Gonna be great.
3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,484
Honey, you're cool
Coming here after school?
4
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,707
Sure. Pete's a hoot.
5
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:12,011
Check me out. I'm a hoot.
6
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,479
It'll just be this week.
7
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,847
The station is short
On traffic reporters.
8
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:16,926
He's gonna be fine.
9
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,428
Oh, sometimes he
Gets a little anxious
10
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,929
When he doesn't have his things.
11
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,920
Relax. He's gonna be fine.
12
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,716
It's just that, you know,
Boys need their toys.
13
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,472
Michael...
14
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:32,464
Come to the dark
Side of the force.
15
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:35,568
He'll be fine.
16
00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:05,097
Hey!
17
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:06,564
There she is.
18
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,640
I need a large pizza, double
Pepperoni, extra sausage.
19
00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:12,070
Oh, I see you're ordering
Our big fat girl's special.
20
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:14,484
I'm sharing it with johnny.
21
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,740
Yeah? Where is he?
22
00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,087
Oh, he's out apartment hunting.
23
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,943
Still no luck?
24
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:20,645
No. In fact...
25
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,081
I'm thinking of asking
Him to move in with me
26
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,716
Until he finds a place.
27
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,863
But I don't know. I'm... I'm
Really nervous about it.
28
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,320
You should be.
29
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:29,595
It's a big mistake.
30
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,991
No, a big mistake is
Your last haircut.
31
00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:35,227
You and johnny
Are great together.
32
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,628
Then why spoil it?
33
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,108
What happens if
They're incompatible?
34
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:39,942
We've been going
Out for 2 months.
35
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,311
We known each other pretty well.
36
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,601
Does he know you're a slob?
37
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,803
I am not a slob.
38
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,817
Really? Where did you find
Your shoes this morning?
39
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:48,806
In the closet.
40
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:49,807
And the other one?
41
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,610
In the planter.
42
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,979
So I tidy up a bit before
Johnny comes over.
43
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,482
Yeah, yeah, and shoo
Away the sea gulls
44
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,816
That hover over your kitchen.
45
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,586
You're right. Bad idea.
46
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:02,798
No, no, no. Don't listen to him.
47
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,489
Johnny really loves you.
48
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,591
He'll learn to
Live in a landfill.
49
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,327
You're right.
50
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,640
I mean, he's going to
Find out eventually.
51
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,797
Yeah. But if he
Finds out too soon,
52
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:14,132
It could wreck everything.
53
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,034
Well, that's a chance
I'm willing to take.
54
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,669
Well, I'm not.
55
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:18,970
Tough.
56
00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,750
Oh, oh, yeah. Like this
Is all your decision?
57
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:21,673
My opinion doesn't count?
58
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:22,674
Guys, could you just...
59
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,110
No, no, no. Not now. Not now.
60
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,412
Obviously you don't feel
The same about johnny as I do.
61
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:28,558
Hey, I love johnny.
62
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:31,283
Well, I love johnny, too.
63
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:35,554
Guys, I don't know how
To break this to you,
64
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,229
But I'm already
In a relationship.
65
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:41,593
Hey, honey.
66
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,395
Hey, baby.
67
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,596
Did you find anything?
68
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,299
No. You know, it's
Brutal out there.
69
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:52,270
You know, johnny, if
You need to... What?
70
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,139
Nothing.
71
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,852
Well, anyway, I'm just
Gonna crash at my sister's
72
00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:57,842
Until I find a place.
73
00:02:57,877 --> 00:03:01,480
You know, you
Could always... What?
74
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,648
Nothing.
75
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,927
It's not going to be that bad.
76
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:05,850
You know, it's
Only an hour away.
77
00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,085
Ok, look.
78
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:10,722
Why don't you just... What?
79
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:11,823
Sea gulls.
80
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,092
Nothing.
81
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:16,495
Well, listen, I just
Came by to tell you
82
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,829
I can't stay for lunch.
83
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,175
I've got to load up the truck
84
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,443
And then get to my
Sister's before rush hour.
85
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:21,433
See ya.
86
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:22,434
Bye.
87
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:23,469
Uh, john, johnny, wait.
88
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:24,469
What?
89
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,571
Nothing.
90
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,449
Now, look. If there's
9 people in a room
91
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,184
And there's 3 apples,
92
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,487
What is the ratio
Of people to apples?
93
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:43,721
I don't know.
94
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,990
The answers are usually
In the back of the book.
95
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,071
We don't need to look
In the back of the book,
96
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:51,630
Because you can get
This. You can get this.
97
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:56,000
You have 9 players on this side
98
00:03:56,036 --> 00:04:01,306
And 3 players on this side,
99
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:04,242
So the ratio is... 9 to 3.
100
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:08,213
Right! Which is... Um...
101
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,768
Stop looking at me. It's 9 to 3.
102
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,151
3 to 1.
103
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,558
That's very good,
Berg. That's very good.
104
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,593
Tonight you get
An extra hour of tv.
105
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,708
Could you take the test for me?
106
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,632
Sure. If you could explain to me
107
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:31,002
The relationship between
The cecum, colon, and rectum.
108
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,138
Berg said rectum.
109
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,741
Yes, he does that.
110
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:41,846
Look, berg's not gonna take
Your test for you, so just focus.
111
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:47,118
Hello. Hey, mom. Yeah, I'm fine.
112
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,798
No, no, no, no, no.
Michael, sit down.
113
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,199
You've got 10 more
Problems. Come on.
114
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,923
What?
115
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,692
No, no, I can't help aunt
Emily move her couch.
116
00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:57,628
Well, how did she get
Pinned up against the wall?
117
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,698
What? No, I have caitlin's son.
118
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:02,467
I... I can watch him.
119
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,370
Yeah, I'll have
Sharon watch him.
120
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:06,371
Yeah, all right.
121
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:08,139
All right. Bye.
122
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,807
All right, ask her.
123
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:13,644
But now you run the risk of
Finding michael stuffed in the planter.
124
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:19,128
All right. All right. But
He's a kid, he's not a dog,
125
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,686
So if you don't feed
Him, he can tell me.
126
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:23,154
Fine. Ok, go. Go.
127
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,589
All right. But listen.
128
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,769
He has to finish his ratios.
It's really important.
129
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,526
Yes. All right.
130
00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,306
And caitlin's cell phone
Number's on the refrigerator.
131
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,108
And if you have an
Emergency, it's 911.
132
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,132
And, uh... Poison control...
133
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:38,003
Pete, all those numbers are
Busy because aunt emily's dying.
134
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:44,075
All right. All right. Michael?
135
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:49,247
I can't believe
I'm gonna say this.
136
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:50,781
Obey berg.
137
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,855
All right. Where were we?
138
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,426
Yep.
139
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,028
Let's get out of here.
140
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,507
But I'm supposed to study.
141
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,898
Sometimes the best
Way to learn something
142
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:10,001
Is to walk away from it.
143
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,869
Take a break.
144
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,439
So... So you can look
At it from a fresh angle.
145
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:17,442
I don't know. This test
Is pretty important.
146
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:19,511
Pretty important?
What grade are you in?
147
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,346
Fifth.
148
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,082
Fifth... Fifth... Fifth...
Fifth grade doesn't count!
149
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:27,585
8, 9, 10, those are the
Important ones. Let's go.
150
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,198
Oh.
151
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,739
Aah!
152
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:50,986
Johnny: sharon? You in there?
153
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,510
Yeah, just a second, honey.
154
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,947
Come on, come on.
155
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,121
Hi.
156
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,156
Hey. Come on in.
157
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,224
What are you doing?
158
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,303
Oh, I was just reading.
159
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,726
But you're sweating.
160
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,162
Danielle steel. Whoo!
161
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,531
Uh, can I get you
Something to drink?
162
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,866
Yeah, I'd love something.
163
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,735
Oh, you know what?
164
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,938
It is so nice to come here after looking
At the dumps people call apartments.
165
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,141
Do you know that "Artist's
Retreat" actually means
166
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,510
No indoor plumbing?
167
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:28,746
And "Prime location" means across
The street from a crack house.
168
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,195
So you like being here?
169
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,718
Oh, definitely.
170
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:37,355
I'm really happy you
Said that, because...
171
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:40,725
What?
172
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,495
Nothing.
173
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:46,764
Honey, why don't you finish
Your sentences anymore?
174
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,449
Well, I just think that...
175
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,672
That I should move in
Here until I find a place?
176
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:55,947
Yes, thank you!
177
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,544
You sure about that?
178
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,190
Yes, yes, yes,
Yes. It'll be fun.
179
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,426
It'll be just like playing
House when we were kids.
180
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,017
But instead of
Making imaginary pies,
181
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,385
We'll have sex.
182
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,166
And instead of
Dressing up dolls,
183
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,890
We'll have more sex.
184
00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:15,493
Oh, great. You know, I'll
Bring my stuff in tomorrow.
185
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,340
So we're really gonna do this?
186
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,929
Well, why shouldn't we?
187
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,632
You know, perfect apartment.
188
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,200
Perfect girl.
189
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:25,436
There's one little
Thing I need to tell you
190
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:26,437
Before you move in.
191
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:27,738
Ok.
192
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:30,286
You know how I keep
This place really clean...
193
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,277
Oh, you don't have
To tell me to be tidy.
194
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,979
No, that's the way I was raised.
195
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,316
Really?
196
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,786
Oh, my mom always made sure
That the place was spotless.
197
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:44,755
Yeah, the way you keep your
Apartment makes me feel right at home.
198
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,192
Oh.
199
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:52,930
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's me, mrs. Clean.
200
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:02,640
Where have you been?
201
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,375
We went on a... Field trip.
202
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:07,212
Well, well, I was worried sick.
203
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,524
Why didn't you leave a note?
204
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,426
We were exploring the
Fascinating world of ratios.
205
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,749
Hit it, michael.
206
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,852
Did you know that 5 to
2 is actually 2 1/2 to one?
207
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:18,089
Wow! Wow, that's
Really good, mike.
208
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,602
And usually it's the favorite.
209
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:22,238
But if you box your
Bet with a long shot,
210
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,096
You can really make some cash.
211
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,034
Where did you take him?
212
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,502
The dog track.
213
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,504
You took him to the dog track?!
214
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:37,842
Yeah. The off-track
Betting's no place for kids.
215
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:40,478
Michael.
216
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,091
Go get ready for
Hockey practice.
217
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,448
I need to talk to berg.
218
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:47,652
Boy. That's never
Good news in my house.
219
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,654
Me, neither.
220
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,057
You took him to the dog track?
221
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,503
Berg, why don't you
Just take him to the bar
222
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,261
And teach him how
To mix martinis?
223
00:09:56,296 --> 00:10:00,298
You know, you know, 4 parts
Gin to one part vermouth.
224
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:03,501
Oh, sure, if you want
A really wet martini.
225
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,236
I'm not kidding.
226
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:08,973
He's never going to learn
Staring at that book all day.
227
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,308
I used to be like that.
228
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,042
He needed a more
Creative approach.
229
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:12,977
You're saying I'm not creative?
230
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:14,379
No, I'm not saying that.
231
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,158
I'm just saying that the
Kid, he uses his left brain.
232
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,448
You know, like me.
233
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:20,385
He's not like you. He
Uses his full brain.
234
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,764
You're jealous.
You're just jealous
235
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,522
Because michael had
A little fun with me.
236
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,901
That's you. Fun, fun, fun.
237
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,069
You're going to be
Everybody's favorite
238
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:29,126
Uncle "Let's run with scissors."
239
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:36,066
And you are going to be everyone's
Favorite uncle "Hey, grab your abacus.
240
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:37,302
We're going to the math fair."
241
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,182
Maybe I won't be a fun uncle,
242
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,550
But I'll be a good father.
243
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:42,540
What the hell's that
Supposed to mean, huh?
244
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:43,775
I don't know.
245
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:44,709
Why don't you tap into
The left side of your brain
246
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,411
And figure it out.
247
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:49,847
Yeah? You know, I'd
Rather be a lousy father
248
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,416
Than a whiny, uptight one
249
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:54,519
With a golf club
Lodged up his butt!
250
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,892
Pete?
251
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,828
Berg?
252
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:06,263
Who's taking me
To hockey practice?
253
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,449
Hey.
254
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:26,984
Hello. Hello.
255
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:29,932
What's wrong, shar?
You look stressed.
256
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,267
It's not working out
With johnny or did...
257
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,524
Pete try to teach you math?
258
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,205
You know, shar, you should
Loosen up. Abduct a kid.
259
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,329
It worked for berg.
260
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,510
I don't know how much
More of this I can take.
261
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,500
Washing every
Dish, doing laundry,
262
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,803
Cleaning up
Constantly after myself.
263
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,039
I mean, who lives like that?
264
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,876
What's with all the linens?
265
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:55,947
Ah ah ah. Johnny's used to fresh
Sheets and towels every day.
266
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,882
Why? Did he grow up in a hyatt?
267
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,762
When's he going to
Find an apartment?
268
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,631
That's the thing.
He stopped looking.
269
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,288
He likes my place.
270
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,858
It reminds him of his
Stupid clean mother.
271
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,993
Stop living a lie.
272
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,995
He has to love you
For who you are.
273
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:11,996
Yeah, but then I might...
274
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,598
No, no, no, sharon.
275
00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:18,336
It's time to come out
Of the sloppy closet.
276
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:21,939
Then you can march in
The sloppy pride parade.
277
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,614
Beacon street pizza.
278
00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:35,119
Yeah, this is pete dunville.
279
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:38,055
Well, I'm more like michael's
After-school baby-sitter.
280
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:40,892
Of course. I'll be right down.
281
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:41,893
All right. Bye.
282
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,027
What is it?
283
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,028
It's michael's principal.
284
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,540
He got caught
Cheating on a math test.
285
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:47,198
Probably 'cause he didn't study.
286
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,844
Oh, man, look, I'm
Comin' with you.
287
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,579
No, berg, look. You've
Done enough, all right.
288
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,037
So just stay here and
Watch the pizza place.
289
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,639
And try not to
Take it to the track.
290
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,254
Hello?
291
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,822
Hi, sis, how are you?
292
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:14,025
Well, you know
How you always said
293
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:15,204
I'd wind up with a
Girl just like mom?
294
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,861
I did.
295
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,298
Oh, it's terrible.
296
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,765
Oh, she's a neat freak.
297
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,545
You remember how we
Can't stand on the carpets
298
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:24,880
Because mom needs them fluffy?
299
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:26,537
Same thing.
300
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:29,373
Uh, just do what
Dad does, I guess.
301
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,121
You know, pretend to be clean,
Go bowling 6 nights a week.
302
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,914
Sharon: lady, if you don't move
That walker out of the way,
303
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,316
I'll move it for you!
304
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:41,112
Sharon's home early. I
Gotta go. Call you back.
305
00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,870
Recycle!
306
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,556
Hey, honey. You're home early.
307
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:20,624
What are you doing?
308
00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:21,993
Reading.
309
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,828
That danielle steel.
310
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,829
How was work?
311
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:26,830
Uh, never ends.
312
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:27,943
Ah, you know what?
313
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,811
You're just a little tense.
314
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:30,901
No, it's just that...
315
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:34,505
Ok. Ok. Maybe a little tense.
316
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,207
Ohh, is that a beer?
317
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:39,643
Oh, man! No coaster.
318
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:41,578
Oh, yes, right. No coaster.
319
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:42,579
We wouldn't want
To leave a ring.
320
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:43,547
No, we wouldn't.
321
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:44,515
Here. Let me help you with that.
322
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,560
I can handle it. Oh!
323
00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:46,683
Damn it!
324
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:47,618
Don't worry. It'll clean.
325
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,053
Get a towel.
326
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:50,966
You don't want to use a
Dirty towel on the carpet.
327
00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,756
I have a new one.
328
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:53,690
Oh, don't use those.
You'll ruin them.
329
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,769
You're rubbing in the stain.
330
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:55,626
Well, you're
Flattening the carpet.
331
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:56,627
The stain!
332
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:57,761
The fluff.
333
00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:59,641
You know, I can't
Do this anymore!
334
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:00,564
You're driving me crazy!
335
00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:01,565
Me?
336
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:02,900
Try living with you.
337
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:05,469
I am sorry. There are
Only so many hours in a day
338
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,338
I can sanitize for
Your protection.
339
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:08,872
You know what?
340
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,420
I think you have a problem,
And I think you need some help.
341
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:15,146
Well, I am sorry if I can't keep this
Place as clean as your mother does.
342
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,893
No one in their right mind
Could keep their place as clean...
343
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,316
What?
344
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,584
I can't stand this.
345
00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:21,796
This place is more sterile
Than a hospital room.
346
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,754
I need... I need filth!
347
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,492
What?
348
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:32,163
I thought you were a neat freak.
349
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,798
You are the one who wanted
This place like your mom's.
350
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:38,536
Sharon, I hated
Living at my mom's.
351
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,037
The smell of lysol...
352
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,939
It gives me flashbacks.
353
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:47,445
Look at my shirt. I-I'm a slob.
354
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,246
You're a slob?
355
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,981
Uh, a big slob.
356
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,749
I'm a pig!
357
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,085
You're a pig?
358
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,853
Pig, pig, pig.
359
00:15:56,889 --> 00:16:00,257
You're a beautiful pig.
360
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:03,827
Oh, god. I thought I was
Going to have to start bowling.
361
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,264
So we don't have
To live like this?
362
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,566
What?
363
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,033
So we don't have
To live like this?
364
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,803
No more coasters.
365
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:18,342
Ok, ok. You know what's
Really been bugging me?
366
00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:21,445
That is just wrong.
367
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,092
We don't have to worry about
Keeping the carpets fluffy.
368
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,348
Hell, no!
369
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:25,760
Shoes are ok on the sofa?
370
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,624
Hey, baby, you're going
To ruin the upholstery.
371
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:39,796
Michael: hi, berg.
372
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,132
Hey, hi, michael.
373
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,478
Michael, go get
Your hockey stuff.
374
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,900
Ok.
375
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:47,338
Hey, hey, is he ok?
376
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:48,639
Did he get suspended?
377
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,051
I talked to his principal.
They let him off.
378
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,775
Thank god, uh...
379
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:54,411
Look, I'm really...
Really sorry.
380
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,514
You should be.
381
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:57,726
Come on, michael,
We're gonna be late!
382
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,417
Michael: ok.
383
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,197
Hold on. Michael, come here for
A second. I want to talk to you.
384
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,565
Oh, berg, you don't have to.
385
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:04,555
No, I want to.
386
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,990
Look, michael.
387
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:11,061
It was... It was my fault that...
That... That you cheated on that test.
388
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,429
I didn't cheat.
389
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,764
What?
390
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,559
Come on, michael, here we go!
391
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,902
Just a second.
392
00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:20,015
No, they thought I was cheating
393
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,950
Because I got all
The answers right.
394
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,340
You did?!
395
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:27,678
Hey, off we go.
396
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,691
Thanks to you and
The daily double,
397
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,115
I finally understand ratios.
398
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,663
They made me take a new
Test in front of the principal,
399
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,054
And he had to apologize to me.
400
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,955
How cool is that?
401
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:44,928
Peter, peter,
Peter, peter, peter.
402
00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:47,364
You weren't going
To tell me, were you?
403
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,378
Look, it doesn't
Matter, all right?
404
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,181
Just because it worked out
Doesn't mean you were right.
405
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,239
Funny, I feel right.
406
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:59,354
Maybe you should take my
Whole class to the track.
407
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:02,346
Check it out.
408
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:03,792
They're not your sneakers.
Where'd you get those?
409
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:04,826
I won them.
410
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:06,483
Well, how?
411
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:10,588
Well, let's say jimmy
Peterson picked the slow end.
412
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:12,889
You were betting!
413
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:13,890
You're not old enough to bet.
414
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,337
But you're the one who...
415
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:16,393
No, no, no, no, no, no.
416
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,095
No, tomorrow
Morning, first thing,
417
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:21,198
You're taking those shoes and
Giving them back to jimmy peterson.
418
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,100
Do I have to?
419
00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:24,368
Oh, you bet your ass.
420
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:25,836
Berg.
421
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,037
Rectum.
422
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,243
Not funny.
423
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,944
Not funny.
424
00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:38,048
Look, what you did
Was wrong, michael.
425
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:40,851
Now take those shoes off
Before they shape to your feet.
426
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:43,554
Giddyup.
427
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:47,358
Go ahead.
428
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,059
Go ahead, say it.
429
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:52,296
You're like that
Father from shine.
430
00:18:58,036 --> 00:18:59,615
You know, you're right.
431
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,149
You're right. I was wrong.
432
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:02,517
I'm going to make
A lousy father.
433
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:03,885
I had the kid for 2 hours
434
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:06,744
And I turn him into pete rose.
435
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,078
Don't be so hard on yourself.
436
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:11,181
Look, being a father
Is tough. Trust me.
437
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:13,584
Look, I've been doing it every
Afternoon for almost a week.
438
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,254
Oh, man.
439
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,555
What?
440
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,911
What happens when
He starts dating?
441
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,171
I don't even want
To think about it.
442
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,328
Me, neither.
443
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:27,564
Wow. Imagine. People
Do this every day.
444
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:31,101
I know. I'm exhausted.
445
00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:33,136
I tell you what.
I'll buy you a beer,
446
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,212
Uncle "Run with scissors."
447
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,139
Yep.
448
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,352
You know, between the two of us,
449
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,816
We're gonna make
One pretty good dad.
450
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:39,844
Very good.
451
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,485
Pete?
452
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:49,787
Berg?
453
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:53,457
Both: sorry, sorry,
Sorry, sorry.
454
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,665
Sharon: oh, yeah.
455
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:05,302
Oh. Oh. Yeah, I like that.
456
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,338
Uh-huh.
457
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:09,940
Ah!
458
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,912
Oh, I love you.
459
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,590
Hey!
460
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:27,825
So how'd it go?
461
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:29,793
Oh, the day really dragged.
462
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,128
No overturned
Trucks, not even a stall.
463
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:35,098
Cheer up. Tomorrow I'll go out and
Ram into a livestock truck for you.
464
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,035
You say the sweetest things.
465
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,915
So, listen, here
Are michael's books.
466
00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:44,140
And... Here is his hockey stuff.
467
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:46,377
Oh, great.
468
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,378
You got a kid that
Goes with these?
469
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,579
Oh, yeah.
470
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:50,124
Michael is across
The street right now
471
00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:51,515
In a park with berg.
472
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:54,651
He's completing
His jedi training.
473
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:57,421
The force is strong with him.
474
00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:58,456
So how was your day?
475
00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,735
Oh, it was great. It was great.
476
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,703
You want something to drink?
477
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:03,527
Has he been giving
You any trouble?
478
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:05,696
No. No, no, not at all.
479
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,308
I mean, the day went
Off without a hitch.
480
00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:08,866
You know, his school called.
481
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:11,101
Listen, I'm sorry...
482
00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:13,437
They say he got an
"A" on his ratio tests.
483
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:16,217
I'm sorry I didn't get a chance
To tell you before they did.
484
00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:18,876
It's amazing. He's never
Been good at math.
485
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:21,978
Well, I guess it's all
In how you teach them.
486
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,947
Well, I gotta go grab him.
487
00:21:23,982 --> 00:21:25,616
Michael wants to
Stop by the pet store.
488
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:29,052
He's got his heart set
On getting a greyhound.
489
00:21:29,087 --> 00:21:31,221
He seems to think it would
Make a smart investment.
490
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,259
Kids.
491
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:42,799
Come on, number 7.
Come on, number 7.
492
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:44,101
Come on, go, go go.
493
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,181
Come on. Get the
Bunny. Get the bunny.
494
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:48,606
Come on, sadie mae.
Come on, sadie mae.
495
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:49,607
Yay!
496
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:52,309
Yeah.
497
00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:54,478
New computers
For the math class.
498
00:21:54,513 --> 00:21:57,180
And remember, this is very bad.
34317
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