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1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:03,568
Berg, have you
Seen my red towel?
2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:04,569
What?
3
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:07,272
My red towel. I got to wash it.
4
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,441
Mrs. Himmelfarb's
Cat took a leak on it.
5
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,545
What?
6
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,049
Never mind.
7
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,509
Pete, I want to meet
Your new girlfriend.
8
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,312
Go away.
9
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:50,115
It is my right to meet
The women you date.
10
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,484
After all, I raised you.
11
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,931
Leavin' you out, that
Really upsets you, doesn't it?
12
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,955
Well, yeah, it does.
13
00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,926
I can't tell you how
Happy this makes me.
14
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,829
Please. I introduce
You to the girls I date.
15
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:06,231
I introduced you to ashley.
16
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:09,401
We don't date,
And we won't date.
17
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,537
Aw, look what you've done.
18
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,506
Now you've upset my girlfriend.
19
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:17,075
Aw, when did you
Two start going out?
20
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,311
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I remember. Never.
21
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:22,347
Come on. Don't let
Her fool ya, huh?
22
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,392
Why do you think she's here?
23
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,416
She loves me.
24
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,162
Oh, I see. And all these people,
25
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:27,464
They're here because
They love you, too?
26
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,387
On some level.
27
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,755
Hey, sharon.
28
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:31,990
I hate my gym.
29
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,170
I forgot to ask you.
Do you like your gym?
30
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:36,273
It's nothing but a
Disgusting meet market.
31
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:38,007
They lure men into joining
32
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,209
By putting all the silicone
Sallies by the window
33
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:41,411
So they can ogle them.
34
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,545
You didn't make the
Window again, huh?
35
00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,869
No. Third row.
36
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:48,540
That is what sickens me
About health clubs today.
37
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,809
Fitness should be
About gettin' into shape,
38
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,778
Not forcing women
To be in some peep show.
39
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,813
There's your check, poodles.
40
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,485
Like they don't wash your
Faceprint off that window
41
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,087
On a daily basis.
42
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,900
'cause I'm tryin' to find you...
43
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,124
All the way in the third row.
44
00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:10,829
Hey, if you want to
Avoid people like him,
45
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,298
You should try my
Gym. Women only.
46
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,967
Here is the address.
47
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:18,303
Oh, thanks, ashley.
That's really nice of you.
48
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:21,840
Yeah. Mention my name
So I get a free month.
49
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:26,778
Excuse me. What do you
Mean by "People like him"?
50
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,658
Oh, you're right. I'm sorry.
51
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,115
I shouldn't stereotype.
52
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,452
I was being unfair to
Perverts everywhere.
53
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,754
Apology accepted.
54
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:38,290
She really likes you.
55
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,957
Really? No.
56
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,795
I know somebody who
Works out at this gym,
57
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,896
So it must be great.
58
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,199
Yes, somebody. Somebody?
59
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,834
Oh, right. The girl you
Met at the, uh... The, uh...
60
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:51,447
Yeah, the girl at the, uh...
61
00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:52,837
Come on, guys, stop.
62
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:55,407
I haven't been to
"The, uh" in years.
63
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:59,011
Berg, I think he's
Just makin' up this girl
64
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,223
So we don't feel sorry for him.
65
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,113
Sharon, that is so sad.
66
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,182
So sad. Mmm, so sad.
67
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:06,251
Yes, it's sad. This from
The woman in the third row
68
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:08,786
And the man with the
Girlfriend that hates him.
69
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:11,556
Come on, pete. We
Want to meet her.
70
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:13,669
Come on. I'll tell you a
Secret of sharon's. Ow!
71
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:17,796
Guys, please. For
Once, I need my own life.
72
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,135
He can't have his own life,
73
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,637
Especially when we
Got nothin' goin' on.
74
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,645
Hi. Reservations for dunville.
75
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,581
Yes. 2 of your
Party's already here.
76
00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:37,616
What?
77
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,121
What are you guys doin' here?
78
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:44,122
Waitin' for you.
79
00:03:44,158 --> 00:03:46,002
Your appointment book said 7:30.
80
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,859
We're busy people, you know.
81
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,595
So, where is she?
82
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,830
Uh, she's meeting me after work.
83
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,176
Oh, right. She's
Works at the, uh...
84
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,500
At the, uh... The,
Uh... Go away.
85
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:57,435
Look, why can't we meet her?
86
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,638
You want to know
Why? I'll tell you why.
87
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,283
Because you'll screw
It up like you always do.
88
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:03,208
What are you talking about?
89
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,845
Berg, look, every time I introduce
You guys to somebody I'm seeing,
90
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,381
You point out some flaw of
Hers, which I then obsess on,
91
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,483
And inevitably, it
Ruins the relationship.
92
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,619
We do not.
93
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,621
Denise? Remember denise?
94
00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:17,801
Dumbo ears.
95
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:21,226
Oh, yeah. I thought
She was a nice girl.
96
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,861
She was a nice girl.
97
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:26,631
But because of you guys, I
Couldn't stop looking at her ears.
98
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:30,368
She ordered peanuts at a
Red sox game, and that was it.
99
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,737
Well, don't blame us.
100
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,517
If you wanted a
Real relationship,
101
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,952
You would've worked
It out with dumbo ears.
102
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,208
Or she-male.
103
00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:44,515
Do you see? You guys
Just can't help yourselves.
104
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,262
Ok. We promise to be good.
105
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,252
Yeah.
106
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,252
Oh, is that her?
107
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,723
Oh, pete, way to go.
108
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:54,826
A little angela lansbury action.
109
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,862
Hey, just because she's older
110
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,173
Doesn't make her flawed.
111
00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:00,109
Whoa, look at the
Size of those feet.
112
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,335
Ok, you know what?
You guys need a hobby.
113
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,702
We have one. You.
114
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:07,839
You're... Nontoxic,
Fun for all ages,
115
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,041
And come completely assembled.
116
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:13,912
Look, I like this girl,
Ok? I care about this girl.
117
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,147
We talk on the phone for hours.
118
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:19,217
We take long, long
Walks. We play scrabble.
119
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:21,164
Nnn. Things you do when you're
Not sleeping with someone.
120
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,420
Ding ding ding.
121
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:29,428
Ok, look. My romantic
Life is not a game show, ok?
122
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:31,941
So if you guys start picking this
Girl apart and I break up with her,
123
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,632
I am never, ever, ever
Gonna forgive you.
124
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,369
Fine. Just wish you
Would've said something
125
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,637
Before we drove
All the way over here.
126
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,775
Bobby, hey. Berg.
127
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,021
This is sharon, and,
Sharon, this is bobby.
128
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:47,156
I know him from the gym.
129
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,914
You don't belong to a gym.
130
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:53,484
No, no. We stand outside
The window of your gym.
131
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,487
Oh, you go there? How
Come I never seen you?
132
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,056
Third row.
133
00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,791
Ohh...
134
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,362
I hate my gym.
135
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:08,366
Pete... There she is.
136
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:11,870
Whoa, she's cute. Way
To go, pete. Come on, berg.
137
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,539
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
She... She looks familiar.
138
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,841
Where do I know her from?
139
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:21,846
Oh, god... I think
I found a flaw.
140
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,114
What flaw?
141
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:27,185
Me. Me, ok? We had a
Thing a few years ago.
142
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,252
What kind of thing?
143
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:30,499
Meet at a party,
Then have wild sex
144
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:34,425
In the middle of the
Night on a junglegym.
145
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:37,228
Wow. And I find
Carpets uncomfortable.
146
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:42,100
What is her name? It's an
"N" name. Starts with an "N."
147
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,401
No. Nancy?
148
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:44,402
Nadine? No.
149
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,503
Nantucket?
150
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,438
No.
151
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:50,541
Come on, berg. If you don't remember
Her, maybe she won't remember you.
152
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,179
Look, it was one
Night a long time ago.
153
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,481
Pete doesn't have to know.
154
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,129
It might be kind of
Hard to keep from him.
155
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:00,318
What do you mean?
156
00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:04,723
How about my name is
Tattooed on her ass?
157
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:12,263
Pete's right. I do ruin
All of his relationships,
158
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:16,368
And this one I ruined
3 years in advance.
159
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,114
Which is actually pretty good
160
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,848
For such a procrastinator.
161
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:21,773
This sucks.
162
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,041
Look on the positive side...
163
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,844
When people are telling
Small world stories,
164
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,380
You're gonna have the best one.
165
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:31,382
You... Are not helping.
166
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:32,850
Not trying to.
167
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,588
This isn't fair, you know?
168
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,190
I mean, it wasn't even my idea.
169
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:41,026
We're stumbling
By a tattoo parlor,
170
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,527
I needed to use the bathroom,
171
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,495
Rest room sign says
"Customers only,"
172
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,164
She volunteered.
173
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,435
You kids really had
Something special going.
174
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:54,539
You know what? I'm
Panicking. I'm panicking.
175
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,185
I mean, let's give pete
A little credit here.
176
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,553
Maybe it won't even matter
177
00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,355
That I slept with
His girlfriend first.
178
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:02,147
Ha ha ha ha ha.
179
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,582
Are you kidding?
180
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:08,086
He has a conniption when you
Read the newspaper before he does.
181
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,588
Oh, good god. What
If tonight's the night
182
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,290
He finally sleeps with...
183
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,360
Dena... Nanook... Chuck?
184
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:18,062
What the hell is her name?
185
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:21,499
See? This is why
Tattoos come in handy.
186
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,470
What is wrong with you?
187
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,373
Look, I'm sorry.
That's how we play.
188
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:31,409
When one of us is
Down, you kick 'em!
189
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,777
Hey, guys.
190
00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:34,779
Hey, pete. Everything ok?
191
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:35,880
Yeah. Great.
192
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:36,959
What did you guys end up doin'?
193
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,494
Oh, we went to the movies.
194
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,951
What did you see?
195
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:42,197
What does it matter? She
Talked through the whole thing.
196
00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:45,690
Oh, I hate that.
Don't you hate that?
197
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,425
That must've driven you crazy.
198
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,371
Yeah. Oh, you know
What else she does?
199
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:51,496
She laughs at her own jokes.
200
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:55,166
Holy incompatibility, batman.
201
00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:00,571
Pete, it's a good thing
You found out now.
202
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,607
Oh, oh, you know
What I noticed tonight?
203
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,575
She's got a chipped tooth.
204
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,810
Whoa! What is she, from england?
205
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,783
Yeah, yeah. But you
Know what? I don't care.
206
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,050
Huh?
207
00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,419
I mean, I must
Really like nicole...
208
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,888
Nicole!
209
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,926
Yes, nicole. I know
All of her flaws,
210
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,829
And somehow...
They don't bother me.
211
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,412
Oh, berg, will you cover
For me tomorrow night?
212
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:30,468
Sure.
213
00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:32,181
Nicole and I are
Spending the night
214
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:33,916
At a bed and breakfast
Up in concord.
215
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,441
Oh, tomorrow. Tomorrow night.
216
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:37,920
No, no, I can't do that.
217
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:41,413
Oh, you... Thanks, man.
218
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:44,248
It is a great day to be me.
219
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:48,452
And just the
Worst day to be you.
220
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:51,890
Sharon, the second
He sees that tattoo,
221
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,125
He is never letting
Me near anyone
222
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,427
He cares about again.
223
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:59,497
I wanted to be the
Best man at his wedding.
224
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:03,334
I wanted to be uncle
Berg to his kids.
225
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:05,236
He'd say, "No soda,"
226
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,138
And I'd give 'em soda.
227
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:11,175
But now no one gets soda.
228
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:13,845
Ooh, when you think about it,
229
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,914
It was one night 3 years ago.
230
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,215
Maybe she's had
The tattoo removed.
231
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,486
You're right. Maybe she did.
232
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:25,823
But our friendship is too
Important to rely on maybes.
233
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,391
I love that guy,
234
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:30,995
So I gotta get a good
Look at his girlfriend's ass.
235
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,202
Whoo! This place is amazing.
236
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:40,115
You don't have to get
Dressed up or wear makeup.
237
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,118
People are actually
Here to work out.
238
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,042
Let's not forget why you're
Here. Did you see nicole?
239
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,590
She signed in, but she's
Not in the workout room.
240
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,614
All right, hit the showers, kid.
241
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,655
Berg.
242
00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:01,659
Ash-ashley. What...
What are you doing here?
243
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:02,660
Well, it's a women's gym,
244
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,829
So obviously I was in the back
245
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,232
Having a pillow
Fight in my panties.
246
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:10,535
Well, I'm at a women's gym
247
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:11,947
Because I'm waiting for a woman.
248
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,572
Sharon, my friend sharon.
249
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,941
She's also a woman.
250
00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:20,878
You know, it's funny. I
Was just thinkin' about you.
251
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,847
Yeah. Really.
252
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,416
Well, I was in the locker
Room getting dressed,
253
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,019
And as I bent down
To tie my shoe,
254
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,854
You just popped into my head.
255
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:31,889
Really?
256
00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:33,157
Ha ha ha ha ha.
257
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,760
Yeah. Well...
258
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:39,296
Your name was tattooed
On some woman's butt.
259
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,467
Really.
260
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,837
That would be nicole,
261
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,240
And she's also just a friend.
262
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,742
What, do you brand
Them to keep track?
263
00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:55,146
No. No, it's not like that.
264
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:58,783
No, no, no. There's nothing you
Could possibly say. You're hopeless.
265
00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:00,618
Call me.
266
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:06,190
Sheesh. You will not believe the
Humiliation I just suffered for you.
267
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,070
I had to peek in
Every shower stall.
268
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,838
I got 3 screams, 2 dirty looks,
269
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,607
And an invitation to play golf.
270
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,776
But I found her. She's
Got this thing on her...
271
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,201
I know, I know.
It's still there.
272
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,602
Ashley told me, and
She is not happy with me.
273
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:21,105
Well, tell her to get in line.
274
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,475
That's her.
275
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,745
Listen, uh...
276
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,458
I don't know what kind
Of place you're used to,
277
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,782
But this gym isn't
A meet market, ok?
278
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:36,954
Women don't come
Here to get ogled.
279
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,422
I wasn't ogling.
280
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,069
I was looking for a friend.
281
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,126
Oh, try the personals.
282
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:47,898
Hey, hey, chin up.
You'll find someone.
283
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,773
Nicole.
284
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:58,877
Hi. Do I know you?
285
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,512
3 years ago, steve
Bessen's party.
286
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:05,416
Junglegym. Tattoo parlor.
287
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,253
Oh, my god.
288
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,255
It's you.
289
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,423
Berg.
290
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,292
Trust me, I can
Remember the name.
291
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:16,372
So how you been?
292
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,761
I've been good.
293
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:18,763
Good. Good.
294
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,098
Well, nice catching up.
295
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:25,403
So here is an
Incredible coincidence.
296
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,171
Did pete ever
Mention his roommate?
297
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:28,839
Yeah. Pete?
298
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:31,909
Oh, tell me you do not
Work at a pizza place.
299
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,345
No. I'm a med student.
300
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:37,281
Who works at a pizza place.
301
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,317
Great. Does pete know?
302
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,453
No, no, and pete
Doesn't need to know.
303
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:48,459
So I say we hop in a cab and we
Go dutch on some laser surgery.
304
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,229
Forget it! I'm not
Gonna have it removed.
305
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,630
Ok. All right. So keep berg,
306
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,767
But how about writing
The word "Ice" in front of it?
307
00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:57,935
No!
308
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,002
Hinden?
309
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,115
I'm not touching it.
310
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:02,040
Whoopi gold.
311
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,909
That tattoo stays
Right where it is.
312
00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:07,744
Wow! I meant that
Much to you, huh?
313
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:13,918
Yes. When we had
Our... Whatever it was,
314
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,887
I had dropped out of school.
315
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,823
I... I was partying a lot.
316
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,458
And I was out of control.
317
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:24,595
And then that night with
You was rock-bottom.
318
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:28,766
After that, I realized I
Had to change my life.
319
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,801
That tattoo is a reminder to me
320
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,970
To never sink that low again.
321
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:39,710
Well, glad I could help.
322
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,479
But what about pete?
323
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:45,783
Pete's great. He's the sweetest
Guy I've met in a long time.
324
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,318
I care a lot about pete.
325
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:48,397
So do I, nicole.
326
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,999
When he sees that tattoo...
327
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,523
If this ruins our relationship,
328
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,459
Then there wasn't much
Of one to begin with.
329
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,264
Hey!
330
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:07,371
What do you
Bench-press, like, 350?
331
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,176
Hey, where's pete?
332
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:13,544
He's in back.
333
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,746
Why are you hiding
Behind a menu?
334
00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:18,115
Over there.
335
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:21,430
I think some women from
That gym just walked in.
336
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:25,089
Maybe if they were naked
And wet, you could be sure.
337
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,157
Ow.
338
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,308
So did you talk with nicole?
339
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,265
Yeah. She won't get
Rid of the tattoo.
340
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:37,168
Wants to be completely
Honest with pete about her past.
341
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:40,038
Like that's healthy.
342
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,084
Berg, you're just
Gonna have to tell him.
343
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,608
You give me one good
Reason why I should,
344
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:46,210
Besides he's my best friend
345
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:48,713
And it's the right thing to do.
346
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,548
Ok, that is it.
347
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,016
Berg, thank you so much
For covering my shift.
348
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,019
This is a friend. Is
This not a friend?
349
00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,554
Oh, and you know what?
350
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,590
Uh, when we get back,
We'll all go out to dinner.
351
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,657
You guys, me, nicole.
352
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,727
Yeah. Yeah.
353
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,639
You'll love her. She's
Really fun to get to know.
354
00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:06,497
Apparently.
355
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:09,500
Ahem.
356
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:10,868
Pete, there's just one thing.
357
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:15,472
Uh, listen, man. This is...
This is really hard for me,
358
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:21,679
But... A few years
Ago, I went out...
359
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,817
Without sunblock,
360
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,986
And I regret it to this day.
361
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,056
That's tough, man.
362
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,357
Yeah.
363
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:35,226
See ya!
364
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,462
Pete, it's about you
And nicole. Ahem.
365
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,009
What about me and nicole?
366
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:42,500
I think that you two could be
Perfect for each other, but...
367
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,580
I don't need your
Stamp of approval.
368
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,136
Too late.
369
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,608
Well, look, just
One teeny-tiny thing
370
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:53,110
That I feel could be a stumbling
Block between you guys.
371
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,923
What are you saying?
You don't even know her.
372
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,480
Last night, as I
Was leaving the bar,
373
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,115
I accidentally caught
A glimpse of her.
374
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,617
This is something that
Would bother a jerk like me,
375
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:03,354
But not a well-adjusted,
Secure man like yourself.
376
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,756
If you're gonna start
Picking her apart,
377
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:07,236
It's not gonna make
A bit of a difference,
378
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,226
So don't even bother.
379
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,928
What kind of teeny-tiny thing
380
00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:13,030
Would bother a jerk like you?
381
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:15,199
Well, I'll tell you.
A few years ago,
382
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,268
I kinda met nicole at a party.
383
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,439
Don't... Don't tell me
You slept with her.
384
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:27,578
Well, that kind of ruins
The end of my story.
385
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,180
This isn't happening.
386
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,993
You can't blame me for this. No?
387
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:32,150
What am I supposed to do,
388
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,662
Walk up to every
Girl I meet at a party
389
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,231
And go, "Excuse me. Are
You planning on dating
390
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,321
Pete dunville in 3 years"?
391
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,923
This is unbelievable.
392
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,202
Somehow, you've
Actually gone back in time
393
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,726
And ruined my life.
394
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:45,796
It's not like she hasn't
Slept with other guys, too.
395
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,698
There's a silver lining.
396
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:51,102
Pete, it was one night.
397
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:52,937
He meant nothing to her.
398
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,138
Less than nothing.
399
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:57,508
In fact, I think
She kinda hates me.
400
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:01,779
Ok. All right, fine. You
And nicole had a date.
401
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:04,181
It wasn't even a date.
Dates are romantic.
402
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,516
I just picked her up at a party.
403
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:08,352
Shh shh shh shh
Shh shh shh shh shh.
404
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:11,455
It's in the past, ok?
405
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:14,991
I'm erasing the mental image.
406
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,327
Gone. No more flaw.
407
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:19,763
Hey, hey, you are
One hell of a guy.
408
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,132
I really am.
409
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:24,268
Another teeny-tiny
Thing could come up.
410
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:25,714
Don't want to know.
Don't need to know.
411
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,750
Why? Because it's in the
Past, and there it will stay
412
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:31,675
As long as I never, ever
Have to be reminded of it again.
413
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:42,486
Pete, before we go any further,
414
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,432
There's something
I need to tell you.
415
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,568
It's about your roommate and me.
416
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,759
Look, babe, he already told me.
417
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:53,697
I just want you to know that
It was just a stupid, dumb thing.
418
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,100
Look, we don't even
Have to talk about it, ok?
419
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,769
I am so... So past it.
420
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,472
It won't bother you?
421
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,307
Watch it not bother me.
422
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,377
Oh, pete.
423
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,878
Nicole.
424
00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:10,314
Oh... Pete.
425
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:11,315
Nicole.
426
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,217
Pete.
427
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,218
Nicole.
428
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:15,886
Pete.
429
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:17,555
Berg?!
430
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:23,560
Perfect.
431
00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:25,862
Pete? Is he back yet?
432
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:26,898
No.
433
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:28,332
Ahh. What happened to your hand?
434
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:29,933
I was so upset
435
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:31,446
About the whole thing
With nicole and the tattoo
436
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,437
That I punched a mailbox,
437
00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:36,974
Causing me physical pain
And a possible federal crime.
438
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:39,110
That's the best you
Could come up with?
439
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,589
Well, I think it sounds better
440
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:43,693
Than I was so upset, I wrapped
My hand in this bandage.
441
00:19:45,118 --> 00:19:47,384
Look, if he was still upset,
442
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:49,031
You would've
Gotten a call by now.
443
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,966
It's not the kind of
Thing you keep bottled up.
444
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:53,391
You.
445
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:56,327
See what I mean?
446
00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:01,798
It wasn't me. Ok, it was me,
447
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:05,068
But it wasn't my fault.
Ok, it was my fault.
448
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:07,004
Look, I'm hurt.
449
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,976
Take the bandage off, berg.
450
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,677
You should've told me.
451
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,979
I was afraid that
You'd disown me.
452
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,027
I should've disowned
You when you set me up
453
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:20,091
With that psycho
From the personals.
454
00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,396
I should've disowned you
455
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:22,998
When you submitted me for
That transvestite segment
456
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,355
On sally jessy.
457
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:28,125
That would've been a
Free trip to new york.
458
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:33,630
I should've disowned
You, but... I didn't.
459
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,033
It's the price I pay
For being your friend.
460
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,469
You gotta forgive a lot.
461
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,404
So what happened with nicole?
462
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:44,608
Well, after she pried me
Off the ceiling and we talked,
463
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:47,711
I realized it didn't matter.
464
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:51,515
I mean, this girl had
The mother of all flaws,
465
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,362
And I still wanted
To be with her.
466
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:56,020
Oh. When you think about it,
467
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,495
I... I really brought you and
Nicole a little closer together.
468
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,528
I'm not gonna thank you.
469
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,698
Your happiness is thanks enough.
470
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:12,102
I love that you were the
Last person in this room
471
00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:14,471
To see your girlfriend naked.
472
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:17,507
Back off, sister!
473
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,310
I can't help it.
474
00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:20,710
Well, try.
475
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:27,217
You arm-wrestle like a girl.
476
00:21:29,555 --> 00:21:31,521
You see that?
477
00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:34,091
That the best you got?
478
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:36,660
Come on.
479
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,030
Come on.
480
00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:48,205
So, ahem...
481
00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:51,975
What are you doin' later?
34046
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