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ANNOUNCER:
In the last episode of Soap,
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00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:06,572
Carol told Jodieshe wants the baby.
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00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:08,574
She's going to court,and she don't mean maybe.
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00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,075
Billy doesn't know what to do.
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00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:13,078
He'd like to tell Lesliethat they are through.
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00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,080
Danny and Pollyhave moved in together,
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00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:17,583
determined there's nothingthey cannot weather.
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00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,585
Mary's not happy.Life is no fun,
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00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:22,588
because Burt for sheriffis going to run,
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00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,590
but Jessica's fineand in the pink,
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00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:27,092
now that Chester's goneand she's dating her shrink.
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00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,595
Confused?You're at the end of your rope?
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00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:32,599
You won't be,after this episode of... Soap.
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00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:39,605
This is the storyof two sisters,
15
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,607
Jessica Tate
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00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:44,109
and Mary Campbell.
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00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:47,613
These are the Tates,
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00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:51,116
and these are the Campbells,
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00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:54,620
and this is... Soap.
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So the drunk says,
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00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:21,146
"Madam, I was speaking
to the duck."
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00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:28,654
More coffee, Burt?
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00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,155
No. No. No, thanks.
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00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,156
How do you like it, Ma?
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00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:32,658
Oh, light, no sugar.
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00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,159
No, I mean the house.
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00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,661
Oh.
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00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,162
It's lovely.
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00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:38,664
We were so lucky to find it.
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00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:42,167
An adorable Cape Cod house
on a pretty block.
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So quiet and peaceful.
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00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,771
Yeah, you meet any
of your neighbors yet?
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00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,677
A few.
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00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,679
They seem very nice.
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00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,680
Fine.
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00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,185
Hello?
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00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:07,694
Oh yeah?
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00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,200
Was that for you?
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00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,202
I hope not.
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00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,705
I smell something burning.
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00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:20,706
Oh, it's the pie!
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00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,707
I forgot to turn off the oven.
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00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,208
I'll get it. I'll get it.
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00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:24,710
I won't be a second.
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00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:25,711
Will you excuse me, please?
46
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,212
More coffee, Mary?
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00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,215
Oh, yes, thank you.
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00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,221
It's nothing.
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00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:46,732
So... uh...
let me ask you.
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00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:49,735
Have you decided what to do
with the spare room yet?
51
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:53,739
Oh, yes, well, see, Danny and I
are sort of at a stalemate.
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00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,741
He wants a pool table,
and I want a family room,
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00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,744
you know, so that the neighbors
can come over and chat,
54
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,245
play bridge.
55
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:06,252
I'd go for the pool table.
56
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,259
Well, it wasn't the pie.
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00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,260
What was it?
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00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:16,261
The spare room.
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00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:17,763
Oh...
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00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:20,265
Well, we couldn't decide
what to do with it anyway.
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00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,267
Listen, we have cantaloupe,
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00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,269
and we have pie for dessert.
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00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:25,270
Who wants some?
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00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,272
Uh-uh.
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00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:28,774
Kids... Come home.
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00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:29,775
Ma...
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00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,777
There's room enough
for both of you. Really.
68
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,779
We can fix up Grandma's
old room in the attic.
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00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:34,780
Come home.
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00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,281
This is our home.
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00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:37,783
This is crazy.
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00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:41,286
Mary, see, if we move out,
then they win,
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00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:44,289
and if they win,
then nothing changes.
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00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,292
Ma, we have to stay.
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00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:50,295
We can't change anything
by running away.
76
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,298
So we can't let them
chase us out.
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00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,302
We'll handle this.
Stay back. Polly?
78
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:58,303
What?
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00:03:58,304 --> 00:03:59,305
Get the door.
80
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,310
All right, what
the hell do you want?
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00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:07,813
Hi, I'm Mr. Pfeiffer.
This is my wife, Helen.
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00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:08,814
Yeah?
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00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,817
Well, we just wanted you to know
that not everyone is like that.
84
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,318
Not in this state,
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00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:15,320
and certainly
not on this street.
86
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,822
The block committee
just wanted us
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00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:17,823
to welcome you
to the neighborhood,
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00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:20,826
and not to judge us by the-
the acts of a few hoodlums.
89
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,828
This is for you, Mrs....
90
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:23,829
Oh, we're not...
91
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,330
Dallas.
92
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,332
Polly and Danny.
93
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,334
Thank you very much.
Will you come in?
94
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:30,836
Oh, no, thank you.
95
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:31,837
We should go back
96
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:35,341
and put out the fire
in our living room.
97
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:41,847
Welcome.
98
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,849
Thank you. Thank you.
99
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:44,850
Good luck.
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00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:45,851
Good night.
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00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:46,853
Thanks.
102
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:55,361
No, here.
103
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,378
It's fine.
104
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,384
Actually, it's great.
105
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,391
Oh, Billy, I feel terrible.
106
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:27,392
This place is so expensive.
107
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:28,894
Oh, hey, it's nothing.
108
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:29,895
How can you afford it?
109
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,897
I saved a little here,
a little there,
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00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:32,898
sold some clothing.
111
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,900
Well, now I know
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00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,401
why we haven't been
out together for so long.
113
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,903
You do?
114
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:38,904
You've been saving up
for tonight.
115
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,405
Yeah.
116
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:41,907
Look, I have something
to tell you,
117
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,408
and I wanted everything
to be nice.
118
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:44,910
Well, I have something
to tell you too.
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00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:45,911
You do?
120
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:48,413
Mm-hm.
I told my parents about us.
121
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,414
What did you tell them?
122
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,916
That we were seeing each other.
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00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:51,917
Oh.
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00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:54,419
And that I love you,
and that you loved me,
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00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,921
and that our age difference
didn't matter,
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00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,924
because I've never been
so happy in my life.
127
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:01,427
Now, what did you want
to tell me?
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00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,430
We...
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00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:06,932
I...
130
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,934
Waiter...
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00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:12,437
There's a very cheesy odor
coming from this veal.
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00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:13,939
Ah, so there is.
133
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:14,940
What is it?
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00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:15,942
Cheese.
135
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,963
Very good.
Now, get away, we're eating.
136
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:24,950
So, what did you want
to tell me?
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00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:27,452
I can't say it.
138
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:28,954
Billy, if you have
something to say,
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00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,956
you just have to come
right out with it.
140
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,457
It's the grown-up thing to do.
141
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:33,959
I'll understand.
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00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,460
You're right. Thanks.
143
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,962
Now, what is it?
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00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,965
We can't see each other anymore.
145
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:53,478
Leslie?
146
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,980
Leslie? Leslie!
147
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:01,487
Could you bring her
a fork, please?
148
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:12,497
She seems to be having a little
trouble with her fettuccini,
149
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:15,000
and bring some more sauce.
150
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,001
Leslie, Leslie...
151
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,502
Oh, I must have passed out.
152
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,504
Leslie, try and understand.
153
00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:22,507
Aah!
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00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:28,014
Leslie. Leslie...
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00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:33,518
She lost a contact.
156
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:34,519
Leslie...
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00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,022
Leslie, you're getting yourself
all messed up.
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00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:38,023
Messed up?
159
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,524
I'm getting messed up?
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00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,526
Do I care if I'm
getting messed up?
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00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:42,527
Les...
162
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,530
This is how much I care
if I'm messed up.
163
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,534
Leslie, it's not
the end of the world.
164
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,036
Oh, not for you.
165
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,538
For you,
it's just the beginning.
166
00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,541
Excuse me, sir,
are you finished with this?
167
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:04,549
You're not taking this
very well.
168
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:08,053
Well, it doesn't matter
how I'm taking this,
169
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,554
and it doesn't matter
how I look,
170
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:13,058
because when I get home tonight,
I'm gonna kill myself.
171
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,559
Leslie, I'm sorry.
172
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,063
Madam, I'm afraid that I'm going
to have to ask you to leave.
173
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,564
Very well.
174
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:22,067
I understand.
175
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,570
Thank you.
176
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:29,074
Goodbye, Billy.
It's been great.
177
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:48,093
BOB:
♪ Lullaby and good night ♪
178
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,595
♪ May your dreams be bright ♪
179
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:53,598
♪ Good night, Wendy-girl ♪
180
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:58,103
♪ Da-da Da-da-da Da Da ♪
181
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,105
Aw, Chuck, I can't stand it.
182
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:01,606
I just can't stand it.
183
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:02,607
I know, Bob.
184
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,109
I mean, I love Wendy
more than anything,
185
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,111
and if they take her
away from us,
186
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:09,114
I...I...
187
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,616
I don't know what I'm gonna do!
188
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:15,620
Easy, Bob, easy.
189
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:18,623
Oh, God.
190
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,125
Look at that little face.
191
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,626
Oh, I feel so bad.
192
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:24,129
I've been so busy, living,
dying, running for sheriff,
193
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,630
I've hardly even
got to know her.
194
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:27,632
Oh, Burt, listen,
don't let them take Wendy.
195
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,634
I mean, I'll just die
if we lose her.
196
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,636
That's the way it is
with babies.
197
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:33,638
No matter what you do,
you lose them anyway.
198
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,140
They grow up.
199
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:37,642
Mr. Philosophy.
200
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,644
Look, look.
Look at her. Look.
201
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:43,148
She's got her foot
in her mouth. I love it.
202
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,149
Oh, Burt...
203
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,651
he can't lose her.
He just can't.
204
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,653
I don't know what I'll
do if he loses her.
205
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:50,155
Hey, Burt, cheer Mary up.
206
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:54,159
Give her the old
"You lose them anyway" story.
207
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,162
You should see the way
she smiles at me
208
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,663
in the morning
when I come in here.
209
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,665
Or the way she pokes
her finger in my eye
210
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:04,169
and says, "Ut ut."
I love that.
211
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:07,672
Or the way she...
Or the way she...
212
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,174
Or... Or the way...
213
00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:20,185
Well, this is good.
214
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,187
Just the strength
and support I'd hoped for.
215
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:24,189
What? No, no, no. What?
We're fine. We're fine.
216
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,690
Bob told us a real sad story
217
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:30,695
about what Charlie McCarthy's
doing these days.
218
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,697
I guess you'd like us
to leave, huh?
219
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,699
Well, Ma, it's a little
hard for her to sleep
220
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,702
with four people
sobbing into her crib.
221
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,204
Good night, Wendy, darling.
222
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,206
Sleep well.
223
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,708
Wendy...
224
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:46,711
Bla-la-la...
225
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,713
Grandpa.
226
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:51,216
Night, Wendy.
227
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,718
Good night,
little... Wendy...
228
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:54,720
Wendy, Wendy!
229
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:33,258
I'm not gonna let you go.
230
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:36,261
No way.
231
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:41,266
You know,
I've never broken a law.
232
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:45,770
This time, forget it.
233
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:52,277
If they take you from me,
they might as well take my life.
234
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:56,281
I love you, little girl.
235
00:11:56,282 --> 00:12:00,286
I'm not gonna let you go.
236
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:11,296
Now, this is the first
meal he's serving,
237
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,298
and I want everybody to be
on their best behavior.
238
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,800
He has worked
in some of the finest houses,
239
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,803
and he's used to good manners.
240
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:21,306
Good morning, Saunders.
241
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:22,307
Good morning, madam.
242
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,809
I believe you have
met my family.
243
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,311
Well, part of my family.
244
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:28,813
Well, actually, what's left
of part of my family.
245
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,315
Yes, madam.
246
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,316
Good morning.
247
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,317
ALL: Good morning.
248
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:35,320
Ooh, my, how pretty.
249
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,321
Green eggs.
250
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:40,325
Is this St. Patrick's Day?
251
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,327
Madam, these are
eggs Florentine.
252
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:44,329
Ooh, and they're lovely.
253
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,331
I have a dress that color.
254
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:47,332
What's the green stuff?
255
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,333
Spinach.
256
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,334
Pass.
257
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,336
I'll take his portion.
258
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,840
Hey, these are kind of
gooey, pal.
259
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:57,342
Let me give you a little tip.
260
00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,344
If you give the pan
a couple of quick shots,
261
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,346
it'll get the goo cooked.
262
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,350
Oh, no, thank you.
263
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:08,353
It's nothing personal,
but I just never eat eggs.
264
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:11,356
You know, I'm always afraid
of getting the slimy part.
265
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,858
You know, the colorless
slimy part
266
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:17,362
that you don't know you've got
until it's in your mouth...
267
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,866
This is absolutely incredible.
268
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:24,369
I know, they are such
picky eaters.
269
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,871
I've never seen
anything like it in my life.
270
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:27,872
Just look at him.
271
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:29,875
He's revolting.
272
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:34,879
Jess!
273
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,381
Jess, I can't stand it.
274
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,382
I'm losing my mind.
275
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:38,883
I can't live without you.
276
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,385
I can't go on, Jess.
277
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,887
I can't, I can't, I can't.
278
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:45,890
Oh, Jess, take me back,
I beg of you, please.
279
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:46,891
Take me back.
280
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,894
Hi, kids.
281
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:53,398
Get up. You are making
a fool of yourself.
282
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,900
I'm sorry.
283
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,402
I lost my head.
284
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:58,403
I... I'm sorry.
285
00:13:58,404 --> 00:13:59,905
Benson!
286
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:04,909
Who are you?
287
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:08,413
Are you the new man in her life?
288
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:12,917
Jess, are you crazy?
You and him?
289
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:16,421
Hey, what the hell, it's 1980,
and I'm a liberal guy.
290
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:19,424
Let me tell you, my man.
291
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,427
You have got one hell
of a fight on your hands.
292
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,431
This time I'm gonna do it.
293
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,932
This time,
I'm really going to do it!
294
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:29,434
Leslie!
295
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,436
Cover your eyes, folks.
This isn't gonna be pretty.
296
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,937
Leslie, that's a spoon.
297
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,439
Oh!
298
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,442
Oh!
299
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:53,458
Hiya, Gramps.
300
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:55,960
Hiya.
301
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:59,464
I'd like some coffee, boy.
302
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,966
Boy?
303
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:06,471
I sincerely hope, madam,
there's a child in this room.
304
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,473
Daddy, this is Saunders.
305
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,475
Saunders, this is my father.
306
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:11,476
Hiya.
307
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:14,479
You have just introduced
a bush as your father, madam.
308
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,483
Who is your mother,
a palm tree on Oahu?
309
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,484
Good day, madam.
I am leaving.
310
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,986
Oh... dear.
311
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:27,992
I think I have termites.
312
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,494
And they didn't mean it.
313
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:30,995
Oh, Saunders, I am so sorry.
314
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,997
They're really not bad.
315
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:34,999
Madam, I have worked
all over the world.
316
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,501
I've worked in embassies
under siege.
317
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:39,003
I once served dinner
for Idi Amin,
318
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,505
who would throw your family out
319
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:41,506
for their bad manners.
320
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,508
You did? Really?
You served Eydie?
321
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:44,509
Yes, and madam,
let me tell you...
322
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,010
Oh, I just love them.
323
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:50,014
Steve and Eydie...
I just love the specials.
324
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:52,016
Madam, you don't seem
to understand...
325
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:54,519
Are they really
all that happy, huh?
326
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,021
Saunders, what are you doing?
327
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,523
I'm leaving, madam.
328
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,525
I need work, but not this badly.
329
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,026
Oh, no, Saunders,
please, don't leave us.
330
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:03,528
We really need you.
331
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,530
Now, I know
we're a strange bunch,
332
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,532
an eccentric bunch,
a crazy bunch,
333
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,534
but we're not a bad bunch.
334
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:12,036
There isn't a one among us
who would harm a soul.
335
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:14,038
Madam, I'm not accusing
your family of being killers.
336
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:15,039
I'm only saying...
337
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,042
There is one.
I cannot tell a lie.
338
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:20,545
There is one killer
in the family.
339
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,046
There were two, one left,
340
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,048
so we just have one,
and he's not a real killer.
341
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:25,550
I mean, he's just...
342
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,051
Madam, I promise you,
it doesn't matter.
343
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:28,052
I cannot stay.
344
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:30,555
Oh, dear.
345
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:33,558
I don't know what to do.
346
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,059
I was praying it would work out.
347
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,561
I like you so much.
348
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:39,564
Madam, please.
I cannot stand crying.
349
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,567
Why?
350
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,069
Because it always makes me
do something stupid.
351
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,572
I can't help it.
352
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,074
I just know if you'd
stay, you'd like us.
353
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,576
I know you would.
354
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:52,577
Madam, please?
355
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:57,082
And you have such a nice voice.
356
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,087
Very well, madam, I'll stay.
357
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,589
If you promise to stop crying,
I'll stay.
358
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,091
Oh, really?
359
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,092
Well, for a day, maybe.
360
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,093
I don't know.
We'll see.
361
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:10,094
Yes, good.
362
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,096
You!
363
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:13,598
Steward, spray me.
364
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:16,101
I'm crawling with caterpillars.
365
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,105
Maybe for an hour.
366
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:30,114
Well, that's that.
367
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,616
Oh, my goodness.
368
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:35,620
I haven't decorated so much
since my Sweet 16 party.
369
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,121
How about you, Saunders?
370
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:40,625
I've never been either sweet
or 16, Mrs. Tate.
371
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:43,127
Hey, Sandy.
372
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,129
"Sandy"?
373
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:47,131
Them Swedish meatballs is burnt.
374
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,133
The meatballs?
My meatballs?
375
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:51,135
I just threw a little
cold water in the oven
376
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,136
to cool them down.
377
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:53,638
I guess that wasn't
such a good idea.
378
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:55,140
I'll go glaze your goose.
379
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:57,642
Mrs. Tate...
380
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,143
Yes.
381
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:01,646
Is there something
the matter, Saunders?
382
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:04,649
Madam, if you don't remove him
from the kitchen immediately,
383
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,150
I'll be forced
to call someone in
384
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:09,153
and have him put to sleep.
385
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,657
I'll have a little chat
with him.
386
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,158
Thank you.
387
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:17,662
Do you have group rates, doctor?
388
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,667
Hi there!
389
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:31,676
Who was that, Saunders?
390
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:34,178
Oh, no one at all.
Just a fellow with a doll.
391
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:35,179
Probably a street entertainer.
392
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,181
Oh, no, that's my cousin.
393
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:38,183
Which one?
394
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:46,691
Very nice.
Very, very nice.
395
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:49,694
That was Saunders,
and he didn't know.
396
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,195
Well, give me
a Scotch neat, then.
397
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,197
Make it a double, huh?
398
00:18:58,704 --> 00:18:59,704
Hi, Corinne.
399
00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:00,705
Hi, Danny.
400
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:01,706
This is Polly Dawson.
Corinne Tate.
401
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,207
Hi.
Hi.
402
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,208
Nice to meet you.
403
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:05,209
Thank you.
Nice to meet you.
404
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,210
This is
Dr. Posner.
405
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:07,712
Hello.
Hello.
406
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:08,713
Hi, doc.
407
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:09,714
Somebody sick?
408
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:12,717
No, Dr. Posner
is a psychiatrist.
409
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:13,718
No kidding?
410
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:16,220
Doc, you're just the guy
I wanted to see.
411
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,723
A lot of people tell me that.
412
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:21,726
I, uh... I'm having trouble
remembering things
413
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,728
with the letter 12 in them.
414
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,731
Is that weird?
415
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,233
12 is not a letter.
416
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:32,236
See, way back there,
I knew that.
417
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,238
Thanks a lot.
418
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:35,740
Can I give you
a couple of bucks?
419
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,241
No, no, no, no.
420
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:39,744
Your breakthrough
is payment enough.
421
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:41,245
What a guy.
422
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:43,748
I was only trying
to help the guy out.
423
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,249
I know, Dutch, I know,
424
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:48,753
but, you see, Saunders has
his own way of doing things,
425
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,755
so you can just
relax now, Dutch,
426
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,757
and be a member of the family.
427
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,259
Okay.
428
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,261
I wish I had that offer.
429
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,764
Okay, pal.
Kitchen's all yours.
430
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:00,765
Carry on.
431
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,768
I'll get it.
432
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:16,280
I know I should just
keep walking. I know it.
433
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,282
"Calm down."
"Calm down."
434
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:19,283
What do you mean, "Calm down"?
435
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:20,785
Do you realize what I just did?
436
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,286
We're the Campbells.
437
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:23,788
I'm not a bit surprised.
438
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:26,290
Do you realize?
439
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:27,792
Do you have any idea?
440
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:30,294
Burt, those voting booths
are a little tricky.
441
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,796
Tricky?
442
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,798
I voted for the other guy.
443
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:34,799
Uh-huh.
444
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,300
I actually pulled down
the wrong lever
445
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:37,301
and voted for my opponent.
446
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:38,302
Tricky...
447
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:40,304
Hi there.
448
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,306
Burt Campbell knows no color,
and thanks for your support.
449
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:43,808
I didn't vote.
450
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:44,809
You didn't vote?
You didn't vote?
451
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,310
There's time.
We got my car, we'll go.
452
00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:47,812
No, no, no.
I'm not registered.
453
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,313
I've only just moved here.
454
00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:51,315
Oh, well, in that case,
I'll have a vodka. Phew!
455
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:52,316
Make it a double.
456
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:53,317
Make it a triple.
457
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:54,819
Make it no ice,
and thank you very much,
458
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,320
and that'll be all,
459
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,322
and I want to thank you again
for your support.
460
00:20:58,323 --> 00:20:59,824
Uncle Burt, I'm so excited.
461
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:01,326
Election eve.
462
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:07,331
There you are,
Mr. Campbell.
463
00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:08,333
Oh, thanks.
464
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:12,838
Would you care for another?
465
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:15,840
What am I, crazy?
466
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,843
Is that a rhetorical
question, sir?
467
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,845
I can't drink.
468
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:21,846
Burt.
469
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,347
What is the matter with you?
470
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:24,348
Mary, what if I get arrested
471
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:25,349
for drunk driving
472
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:26,851
on the night I get elected?
473
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:30,355
Here. Excuse me.
474
00:21:34,278 --> 00:21:35,359
Oh, Jess, I can't stand it.
475
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,361
Please, please!
476
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:39,363
Chester, I told you
never to come near me
477
00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:40,364
or this house anymore!
478
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:45,369
I just want you to know, sir,
479
00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:47,872
we are all honored
by your presence.
480
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:50,875
True.
481
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:52,877
The world will never forget
482
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:57,382
how you showed up Hitler
at the 1936 Olympics.
483
00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:03,888
Good bless you, Jesse Owens!
484
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:09,894
Miss Dawson,
485
00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:11,896
are you considering
joining this family?
486
00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:13,898
Yes, I've thought about it.
487
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:15,900
Why?
488
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:18,402
Because I love Danny.
489
00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:21,406
Well, I love artichokes,
but I don't wish to become one.
490
00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:25,409
Okay, everybody.
It's time.
491
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:26,911
It's time.
Come on, it's time.
492
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:27,912
Gather around
the television set.
493
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:28,913
Hurry.
494
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,421
Danny, could you leave it open
so I can at least hear?
495
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:42,426
Quiet, everybody.
496
00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:43,427
REPORTER:
First results are coming in.
497
00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:44,929
One precinct has reported,
498
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,931
and while it's stilltoo early to tell,
499
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:49,433
Sheriff Prenticeis ahead of Bart Campbell.
500
00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:51,936
"Bart"? "Bart"? What "Bart"?
501
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:52,937
Where's the phone?
502
00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:53,938
Quiet.
503
00:22:53,939 --> 00:22:57,942
The tally so faris Prentice, 57, Campbell, 56.
504
00:22:57,943 --> 00:22:59,944
That's very close.
One vote!
505
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:01,445
Yeah, one vote. I'm gonna
lose by one vote.
506
00:23:01,446 --> 00:23:03,447
My own vote.
This is...
507
00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:04,949
Jessica, take it easy.
It's early yet.
508
00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:05,950
Ma!
509
00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:06,951
Mrs. Tate?
510
00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:07,952
Must've been the excitement.
511
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,453
She fainted.
Get an ambulance.
512
00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:10,454
She just fainted.
513
00:23:10,455 --> 00:23:11,956
POSNER: She
didn't just faint.
514
00:23:11,957 --> 00:23:13,457
What is it?
515
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:15,098
Oh, for God's sake.
Get an ambulance. Now.
516
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:26,971
ANNOUNCER:
Will Burt become sheriff?
517
00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:28,472
Now that the Tateshave a new butler,
518
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:30,474
will their manners improve?
519
00:23:30,475 --> 00:23:32,476
Will Danny and Polly continueto live where they're living?
520
00:23:32,477 --> 00:23:34,478
Will homeowner's insurancebe a problem?
521
00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:36,981
Now that Billy has told hertheir relationship is over,
522
00:23:36,982 --> 00:23:38,482
will Leslie really kill herself,
523
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:40,985
or will she just havehuge laundry bills?
524
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:42,486
Will Jodie lose Wendy?
525
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:44,488
What has happened to Jessica?
526
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:46,490
These questions and many otherswill be answered
527
00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:48,993
on the next episode of... Soap.
528
00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:57,501
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
35744
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