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ANNOUNCER:
In the last episode of Soap,
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00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:06,071
Chester broke the news
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00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:07,573
that he's in lovewith the minister's daughter,
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00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,074
and while it didn'tbreak her spirit,
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00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:11,076
Jessica threw himout of the house.
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00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:13,078
Burt, because he only hasa short time to live,
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00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:14,079
is trying to break a record,
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but might wind upbreaking his neck.
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But he hasn'tbroken the news to Mary
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00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,084
that he's going to die.
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00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:20,586
Eunice has been cheatingon Dutch,
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and might get her head brokenif he finds out.
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And Polly's familymet the Campbells,
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and nobody broke any recordsin getting along.
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Confused?
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You won't beafter this episode of... Soap.
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This is the storyof two sisters,
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Jessica Tate...
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and Mary Campbell.
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These are the Tates...
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and these are the Campbells...
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and this is... Soap.
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Burt! Burt!
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120...
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and one.
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For the record.
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You sure this guy
caught 120 quarters?
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That's what the book says.
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Stand back.
You ready? Yeah.
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Hey!
Oh!
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Burt!
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I don't get it. I don't get it.
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This guy caught 120.
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I caught one.
I got 120 on the floor here.
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00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:46,171
Burt, what are you doing?
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00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,673
Told you, Mare, I'm trying
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00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,675
to get into the Guinness Bookof World Records.
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00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:50,676
Well, what happened
to the balloons?
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00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,177
They kept breaking.
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00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:53,679
Hey, how about this?
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Spitting.
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Hell, I'm leaving.
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00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:57,182
Bob...
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The longest distance spit,
31 feet, one inch.
45
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,689
Well, that guy must've
had some kind of cold.
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00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,192
Hey, hey, wait a minute.
Look at this one here.
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00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,193
Wait.
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This guy dove 40 feet
from the Flatiron Building
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into a child's wading pool
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00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:15,702
filled with 12 and a half
inches of water.
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00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:18,704
Mare, where are my trunks?
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00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:19,705
Burt, are you crazy?
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00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,206
No, Mare.
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00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,708
Come on,
I really want to do this.
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00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:23,709
Why? What for?
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For the baby.
I told you,
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so the baby has a father
really to be proud of, you know?
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00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:29,715
Burt, this is insane.
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00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:31,216
You cannot dive off a building.
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00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:32,718
What if you miss?
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If he misses,
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he doesn't break the record.
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If he misses,
the baby has no father.
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00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,725
Burt, stop this, okay?
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00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:42,227
You don't need to do this.
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00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:44,229
Oh, yeah, Mare, I do.
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00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:45,230
I need to leave my mark.
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00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:46,231
You want to leave your mark?
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00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,233
Then how about diving off
the Flatiron Building
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00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:49,735
into no water?
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00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,239
Boys, would you
excuse us, please?
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00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,741
I'd like to talk to Burt alone.
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00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,243
Hey, Burt, uh...
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00:02:58,244 --> 00:03:00,746
how about the first guy
to survive a decapitation?
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00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:03,248
Okay.
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00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:06,752
Burt...
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00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:07,753
Look, Mare.
I don't believe this.
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00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:08,754
Look at this.
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00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:10,255
This guy ate a bicycle.
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00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:12,758
An entire bicycle, Mare.
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00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,259
This little French guy.
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00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,761
Burt, I want to talk to you.
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00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:18,764
The tires alone
must have taken a month to chew.
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00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:19,765
Burt, put that book away.
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00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,768
Maybe I could eat a moped.
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00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:23,769
Burt...
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00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:24,770
Come on, Mare.
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00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,271
Burt, what's wrong?
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00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,773
You took my book.
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00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,775
No, Burt, not that.
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00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,276
What's going on with you?
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00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:33,779
You have been acting so strange.
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00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,281
How am I acting strange?
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00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,283
You want to dive off a building
and eat a Mercedes.
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00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:40,285
That's not strange?
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00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:44,790
If I ate a car,
it'd have to be an economy car.
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00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,792
Burt, please, talk to me.
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00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,293
What's going on?
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00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:50,796
Mare, I want to do something
that makes me special.
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00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,799
Oh, Burt, you are special.
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00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,300
Yeah, well, to you, Mare,
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00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:56,802
but what about
the rest of the world?
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00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,804
I want to be special
to the whole world.
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00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:01,306
To the whole world?
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00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:02,808
Would be nice.
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00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,811
Listen, I want you to be able
to open a book some day
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00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:06,812
and read about me.
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00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,814
That way, I'll always be here.
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00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:13,318
Burt, I'd much rather
have you here in person, okay?
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00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:15,320
Yeah, well, Mare,
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00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,761
you're not always
going to have that.
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00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,327
I mean, some days,
I could go to work...
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00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:25,831
and then all you have to do
is open a book and be reminded.
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00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:26,832
I don't need that.
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00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,333
I'm reminded all the time.
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00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,835
Yeah, but other people.
What about other people?
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00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,337
Other people might want to read
about me while I'm at work.
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00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:33,338
Burt...
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00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,840
Come on, Mare.
And the baby.
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00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,842
Come on, the baby might
want to read about me
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00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:37,843
in a book someday.
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00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,344
The baby will dribble
all over the book.
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00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:40,846
Burt, listen...
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00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,347
Dribble?
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00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:43,348
They do that.
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00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,850
Dribble. Dribble. That's it.
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00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,351
Mare, I'll dribble.
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00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,353
It's not very becoming, Burt.
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00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,855
No, a basketball dribble.
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00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,857
The longest basketball dribble.
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00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,358
Mare, you're a genius.
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00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,359
Danny, a basketball!
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00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,361
This is the big one here!
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00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:57,362
Burt, stop it.
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00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:58,864
Now, just stop it a minute.
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00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,365
Something is wrong.
137
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:01,366
I can feel it.
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00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,868
There's something
you're not telling me.
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00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:03,869
No.
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00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,871
Burt, I know you.
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00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,373
What's wrong?
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00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:09,875
Nothing, Mare.
143
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,376
Nothing.
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00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,878
Swear to God and hope to die.
145
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:13,879
Oh, terrific.
146
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,380
Mare, nothing's wrong.
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00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:16,381
Nothing.
148
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,883
Nothing?
149
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,384
Nothing.
150
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,385
Okay, Burt.
151
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:21,386
Here's the basketball.
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00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:23,388
What are you going to do,
swallow it?
153
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:25,390
Open the door, Danny, please.
154
00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:26,391
Count.
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00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:27,893
One, two, three, four...
156
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,402
That's a good boy.
157
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,404
Now, you go to sleep, okay?
158
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:40,405
Hey, Corinne.
159
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:41,907
Hi, Dutch.
160
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,408
Is he sleeping?
Ah, not a chance.
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00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:45,410
He needs less sleep than I do.
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00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:46,411
Here. I made these.
163
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:47,412
Animal Crackers.
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00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,914
Oh, Dutch, how sweet.
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00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:51,416
Oh, look at them.
166
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:53,919
Look, a dog.
167
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,921
It's an elephant.
168
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,923
Where's his trunk?
169
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:58,924
Here.
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00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,425
Oh.
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00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:02,427
Oh, and this is a cat.
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00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:04,930
A cow.
173
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,932
It looks like a cat.
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00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:07,933
That's because
it's sitting down.
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00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,935
It's a cow sitting down.
176
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,436
See?
177
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:14,439
Oh, yes, of course.
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00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,441
They're for you
and little Timmy.
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00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:17,943
Oh, good.
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00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,445
Timmy'll have one
and I'll have 30.
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00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:21,446
Thanks, Dutch.
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00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:22,447
Hey, you're welcome.
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00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,449
I had fun making them.
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00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,451
Dutch, is something wrong?
185
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:27,452
No, nothing, nothing.
186
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:28,954
Oh.
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00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:29,955
Yeah.
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00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:30,956
What is it?
189
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:31,957
I don't know
what to do, Corinne.
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00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,959
I've thought
and thought about it,
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00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,460
and I don't know what to do.
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00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,962
What do you think I should do?
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00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,964
Well, it would help
to know about what.
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00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,465
Eunice.
Oh, Eunice.
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00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:41,466
Your sister.
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00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,968
Yes, I know.
197
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:43,969
I caught her with
another guy, Corinne,
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00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,971
and she promised
she'd never do it again,
199
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:46,972
and I should believe her.
200
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:47,973
I'm supposed to believe her,
201
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,474
and there's no reason
not to believe her,
202
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:52,978
but I don't believe her.
203
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:53,979
Would I believe her?
204
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:54,980
Oh, well, let me see.
205
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,481
Would I believe her?
206
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,983
That's a good question.
207
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,985
Boy. Would I believe her?
208
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:00,986
She's never home.
209
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:03,488
Never home, yeah.
210
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:04,489
Wait a minute.
211
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:06,491
I can't ask you that.
212
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:07,993
You can't rat
on your own sister.
213
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,995
Hey, I'm sorry, Corinne.
214
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,497
Just forget I asked that, okay?
215
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:14,499
It's just that...
216
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,002
I guess I needed
somebody to talk to.
217
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,004
You know,
I ain't got nobody to talk to.
218
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:22,007
Oh, Dutch, you can talk to me.
219
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,508
I want you to know that.
220
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:25,510
You can always talk to me.
221
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:28,013
Thanks, Corinne.
222
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:31,516
I just might not be able
to answer.
223
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:34,519
Corinne,
can I ask you a question?
224
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,521
Sure.
225
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:39,024
Do you find me stupid?
226
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:44,029
Dutch, you are
one of the nicest people I know.
227
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,530
Aw, come on.
228
00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:46,531
No, really.
229
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:48,033
I mean it.
230
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:52,037
You're good and kind and loving,
and not at all stupid.
231
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:56,041
In fact, I'm...
I'm proud to know you.
232
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,542
Hey, thanks, Corinne.
233
00:07:57,543 --> 00:08:01,046
You just can't make a cow.
234
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,061
♪ It's gonna happen tonight ♪
235
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:23,068
♪ It's gonna happen ♪
236
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:27,073
♪ And it's gonna be right ♪
237
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:32,077
George, aren't you ever
going to sit down?
238
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:35,080
Just making things
perfect, my pet.
239
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,583
You'll have to hold it
all the time.
240
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,085
I lost the bottom.
241
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,593
Happy anniversary.
242
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,595
Anniversary?
243
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:52,598
Well, we've been married
an hour.
244
00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:58,103
And I can't wait
another moment for you.
245
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,604
Mm. I'll say.
246
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,106
You shot out of that chapel
247
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,607
like a sprinter.
248
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,610
I barely got out my vows.
249
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:11,616
You're so... large.
250
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:13,619
God, you're virile.
251
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:18,123
Sorry about Mexico, my sweet.
252
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,625
We'll go there next year.
253
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:21,626
You'll want to kill that drink
254
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:24,129
so you can put the glass down.
255
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,130
Well, I don't know
256
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,631
why we can't go to Mexico now.
257
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:29,134
I mean, it is our honeymoon.
258
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:31,137
Don't be silly,
my little chrysanthemum.
259
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:38,143
If we went there now,
we wouldn't see anything.
260
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,144
All I'd see is you,
261
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,145
and all you'd see
262
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:43,648
is the ceiling
of the Acapulco Hilton.
263
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,151
George, I hear a knock.
264
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:49,654
Mm, the pounding
of my heart, hummingbird.
265
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,156
No, George.
I think it's the door.
266
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,158
Don't you hear it?
Listen.
267
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:55,660
There.
268
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:59,164
Woodpeckers.
Get back down.
269
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:02,167
It's probably a woman
from your past.
270
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,669
Don't be silly, precious cargo.
271
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:08,173
There's no woman from my past.
272
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,175
Really, George?
273
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,177
Not anymore.
274
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,180
I'll get it.
275
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,681
What?
Dressed like that?
276
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:17,682
It's probably the plumber,
277
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,184
and he's Greek.
278
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,185
One look at you,
279
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,186
he'll attack you in the hall.
280
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,687
No, I'll get it.
281
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:24,189
You slip into something
less comfortable.
282
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,190
Hmph.
283
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:27,192
Another woman indeed.
284
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,693
Why there's only one other woman
285
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,195
I was ever remotely
in love with,
286
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,697
and she's married.
287
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,200
Million miles away.
288
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:38,703
Hi.
289
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:41,206
And here she is.
290
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,707
Jess.
291
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,209
George, how are you?
292
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,210
Oh, Jess, how would...
293
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:47,712
George, George, George.
294
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:49,214
Oh, Jess.
295
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,215
I mean, speak of the devil...
296
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,217
Wait a minute.
297
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,218
Uh, plumber.
298
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:56,222
Retsina, ouzo,
uh, moussaka, olives!
299
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:01,726
George, I have
something to tell you.
300
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,728
I have something
to tell you too.
301
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:05,730
Are you happy to see me?
302
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:06,731
Happy...
303
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,236
Oh. May I come in?
304
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:12,737
In where?
305
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,739
Oh, the apartment.
306
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,241
Why, sure.
307
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,242
Come in.
308
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,743
Come in.
309
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:19,744
Stand right there.
310
00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:22,247
Would you like a potato chip?
311
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:25,250
George, I really must
speak with you.
312
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,251
Jess, uh...
313
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,752
I love you, George.
314
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:28,753
Oh, Jess.
315
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,255
I know. I know.
316
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,257
If I had chosen you
in the first place,
317
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,259
I wouldn't
have to come back here
318
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:37,262
in the second place,
319
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,764
but now I have a second chance
to make the choice
320
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,266
I should have made
in the first place,
321
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,767
and it's not too late
322
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:44,769
for a second chance
to make that choice.
323
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,771
Oh, George, I love you.
324
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:50,275
I really, really love you,
325
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,777
and I never stopped.
326
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,279
Oh, George.
327
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,280
Mm, mm...
328
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,781
I was so foolish
329
00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,783
to ever think that
Chester or any other man
330
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,285
could love me the way you do.
331
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:02,287
I have this...
332
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,788
I hope you still do.
333
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:05,290
Oh, George.
334
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,292
My George.
335
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,793
Oh, Jess. Jess...
336
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:10,295
Oh, no, George, not now.
337
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:15,800
We have plenty
of time for that later.
338
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,302
We have the rest of our lives.
339
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:19,304
I got...
340
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,306
I know, you got rejected,
341
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,308
but darling, he was my husband,
342
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,810
and I had the children
to think about.
343
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:26,811
Okay, but...
344
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,813
Oh, I'm so happy.
345
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,815
There's so much we haven't done,
346
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:34,319
and now nothing can stop us.
347
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,321
Nothing. Nothing.
348
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,322
Oh, George, I...
349
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:41,326
Oh, now, that...
that might stop us right there.
350
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,328
George!
351
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,329
Uh, uh...
352
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,330
Oh, George.
353
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,832
You needn't be so embarrassed.
354
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,834
I mean, you didn't know
you were getting me back.
355
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:51,836
Perhaps I should leave
for an hour.
356
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,338
Come back.
357
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,340
Jess, it's a little more
complicated than that.
358
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:56,341
How do you do?
359
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:57,842
I'm Jessica.
360
00:12:57,843 --> 00:12:59,344
George?
361
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,345
Uh, uh, Jessica,
362
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,348
this is Shirley Slotnik Donohue.
363
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:06,351
Your sister. Of course.
364
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:07,852
I should have guessed.
365
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:11,356
You have the same slippers.
366
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,357
No.
367
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,360
Uh, Jess, Shirley's my wife.
368
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,862
I'm sorry.
369
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:18,863
Not that you're my wife.
370
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,365
I mean,
I'm sorry that she was...
371
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,867
Oh, never mind.
372
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,369
Oh, Mrs. Donohue,
373
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:27,872
please don't be angry
with George.
374
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:30,375
He had no idea that I...
375
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,879
Excuse me, I...
376
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,883
I think I'd just like to go.
377
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:40,885
Uh, Jess, wait.
378
00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:43,388
Pumpkin, could we have
a moment together?
379
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:45,390
George, this is our honeymoon.
380
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:46,891
And this is my friend.
381
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,393
Just five minutes.
382
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,895
No, Shirley,
don't leave the room.
383
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:52,397
It's not necessary.
384
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:53,398
But Jess...
385
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:54,399
No.
386
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,900
No secrets.
387
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:59,904
That's a bad way
to start a new life together.
388
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:01,907
I think I should just go.
389
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,910
Are you okay?
390
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:08,913
Perfect.
391
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:10,415
Jessica, please stay.
392
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:13,418
I'll go for a walk.
393
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,919
Thank you, Shirley.
394
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,922
That's very nice of you.
395
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,424
You're a very lucky woman.
396
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,426
He's a fine man.
397
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,929
Take care of each other.
398
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:28,433
Goodbye, Shirley.
399
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,935
Goodbye, George.
400
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:54,459
She's a lovely girl.
401
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,460
He's a lovely boy.
402
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,461
They're a lovely couple.
403
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:57,462
Lovely.
404
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,963
We should be thrilled.
405
00:14:58,964 --> 00:14:59,964
I know.
406
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:02,467
I'm going to shoot myself.
407
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:04,970
Give me the gun
when you're done.
408
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,979
Jess. Hi.
409
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,985
Jessica, this is Rose Coleman,
410
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,487
Polly's mother.
411
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,988
This is my sister, Jessica Tate.
412
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:24,989
Hello.
413
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,491
Sit down, Jess.
414
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,494
Tea?
415
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,499
So, how are you?
416
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,503
Oh. Jess, what is it?
417
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:45,510
Would you like to be alone
418
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,013
with your sister?
419
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,019
Are you depressed?
420
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:02,527
Oh, Jess, I'm sorry.
421
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,028
It's amazing
422
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,031
how they can learn to read lips
so easily.
423
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:09,534
I was saying,
424
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:13,038
it's amazing
how well you read lips.
425
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,041
She doesn't read lips.
426
00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:19,043
Well, she seems
to understand everything.
427
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:22,046
She hears.
428
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,548
Oh, then she's not deaf.
429
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:25,550
No.
Oh.
430
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:26,552
Oh, I'm sorry.
431
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,557
Then you are mute.
432
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,563
Then you are deaf.
433
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,065
What are you?
434
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,567
She's depressed.
435
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,073
Then she can speak.
436
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:50,074
Yes.
437
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,576
Right, Jess?
438
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,077
She can speak.
439
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:54,579
Say something, Jess.
440
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,084
It's okay.
441
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,586
I believe you.
442
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:02,587
You don't have to.
It's all right.
443
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,088
Say "Hi."
444
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,450
No, it's all right.
It's all right.
445
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,592
Hi.
446
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:11,596
See?
447
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,097
I'm sorry,
448
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:15,600
but when I get depressed,
I-I can't speak.
449
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:18,102
My lips get sealed shut.
450
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,605
Rose and I
are kind of depressed too.
451
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,106
Oh? About what?
452
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:23,608
Polly and Danny.
453
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,110
That's what's depressing you?
454
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,112
Well, yes.
455
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:31,115
And that's
what's depressing you too?
456
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:32,617
Well, sort of.
457
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,620
She does this all the time.
458
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:36,621
Watch.
459
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,122
Her depression will be bigger.
460
00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:41,125
Much bigger.
461
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,628
I just came
from Detective Donohue's.
462
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:47,632
See, my husband had amnesia,
and he got lost,
463
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:50,134
so I hired Detective Donohue
to find him,
464
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:52,637
and what he found
was that Chester had died,
465
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:55,139
so I had an affair
with Detective Donohue,
466
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:56,641
and we fell in love,
467
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,142
and then Chester came back...
468
00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,144
of course, not from the dead,
469
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:02,146
because he never was
really dead...
470
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,648
and then I had to choose,
471
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:06,150
and I chose Chester,
which was the wrong choice,
472
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,652
because Chester
chose to play around,
473
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:09,153
and he left me
for the minister's daughter,
474
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:12,156
so I went to Detective Donohue's
to tell him that I was his,
475
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:15,160
but it was too late...
he's hers.
476
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:21,165
Whose?
477
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,166
His wife's.
478
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:25,169
My husband's gone off
with a young woman.
479
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:28,172
The man I love
is married to someone else.
480
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:31,175
My children are all grown.
481
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:34,679
I've lost everyone.
482
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,182
I'm alone.
483
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:44,189
All, all alone.
484
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,694
She did it again.
485
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,696
She topped me.
486
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,698
She always does that.
487
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,200
She always has one... better.
488
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:20,224
Thanks, Dutch.
No problem.
489
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,729
Did I scare you, sweetums?
490
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:25,730
How dare you, Dutch?
491
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,231
Sneaking up on me like that...
492
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:30,735
You want to talk about sneaking?
Let's talk about sneaking.
493
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:31,736
What are you talking about?
494
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,237
You don't know
what I'm talking about?
495
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:34,739
I have absolutely no idea.
496
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,240
How's the Hong Kong Gardens,
497
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,742
for starters, Eunice?
498
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:38,743
Wasn't me.
499
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,244
You had the sweet and sour pork.
500
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,245
He had the chicken lo mein.
501
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:44,248
I had the moo goo gai pan,
and it wasn't very good.
502
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:46,250
There is a perfectly
good explanation
503
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:47,752
why I was there tonight, Dutch.
504
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,254
I was having dinner
with my girlfriend.
505
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:51,756
That was a guy.
506
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:54,258
That was my girlfriend Barbara.
507
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:55,259
Barbara has a beard?
508
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,261
It's glandular.
509
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,263
Eunice, I followed you
all over town.
510
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:00,765
That guy was no lady.
511
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,266
You scoundrel.
512
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,768
You absolute scoundrel.
513
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,770
You've been spying on me.
514
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,272
That's it. I've put up with
just about everything from you,
515
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:09,273
but that's it.
516
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:10,274
I've had enough.
517
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:11,776
What are you going to do?
518
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:12,778
Do? Do?
519
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:20,785
I'm not going to
do nothing, Eunice.
520
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,286
I mean, we could yell and scream
521
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:23,287
and lose control,
522
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,789
or we can sit and talk
523
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,791
like two intelligent people.
524
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:28,793
You know what I mean, Eunice?
525
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,795
Control.
526
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,797
That's what separates
us homo sapiens
527
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,799
from the lower forms
of animal life.
528
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:39,804
Dignity... and control.
529
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:48,313
Dutch, I know just how you feel.
530
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,817
That door
is always getting stuck.
531
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,318
It makes me so mad.
532
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:55,820
Oh, I'm getting out of here.
533
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,321
I'm not through
with you yet, Eunice.
534
00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:59,824
You stay away from me,
you monster!
535
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:00,825
You two having a fight?
536
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:01,826
No, that's dangerous!
537
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:02,828
Throw this.
538
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,330
I can't stand it!
539
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,331
You always spy on me.
540
00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:08,833
You never take your eyes off me.
541
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:09,834
You are driving me crazy,
542
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,335
and I'm getting out!
543
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:12,837
Not that.
I just had it fixed.
544
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:16,841
What's going on?
545
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:17,842
Nothing, dear.
546
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:19,844
Get out of the line of fire.
547
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:23,347
What happened
to the refrigerator?
548
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:24,348
Isn't that nice?
549
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:27,852
Now you can see inside
from everywhere in the room.
550
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:36,360
Any casualties?
551
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:37,361
No, Daddy.
552
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:38,863
What did they hit us with?
553
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:42,366
Sixteens? Buzz bombs?
554
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:43,367
No, sir.
555
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:44,368
I'm afraid it's my fault.
556
00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:45,369
Who are you?
557
00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:46,370
Dutch.
558
00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:49,373
Prairie crackers.
559
00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:52,376
If you're Dutch,
you'd be on our side.
560
00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:53,377
Uh, no, sir.
561
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,880
You see, I'm not Dutch,
I'm Dutch.
562
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:58,883
I see.
563
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,885
Call the MPs.
564
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,888
The man is a loon.
565
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:06,891
Well, I just came down
to get some formula.
566
00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:09,393
Where did you say
the refrigerator door was?
567
00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:10,895
Out there.
568
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:12,396
Oh, fine.
569
00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:13,397
Good, I'll come with you.
570
00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:15,900
It's a perfect time
to clean the butter bin.
571
00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:22,406
I can't help it.
572
00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:24,909
I'm a little jealous.
573
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:28,913
And I don't know what to do.
574
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,915
Oh, Dutch.
575
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,416
Do you...
576
00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:34,919
Do you love this guy?
577
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,421
No.
578
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:40,424
I just feel trapped, Dutch.
579
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:42,927
I've never been
as close to anybody
580
00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:44,428
as I am to you.
581
00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:45,930
Before,
582
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:47,932
when a guy got too close,
I always got scared.
583
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:49,433
I always ran away.
584
00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:51,435
I've always been afraid
of being hurt.
585
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:54,439
Of being dumped.
586
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,943
Dutch?
587
00:22:58,944 --> 00:22:59,944
Why, Eunice...
588
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:02,446
Oh.
589
00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:04,448
I love you so much, honey.
590
00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:07,451
I wish I could believe
that was true.
591
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:08,953
It's true, darling.
592
00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:11,455
It's true, and I...
593
00:23:11,456 --> 00:23:13,958
I just hope you can forgive me.
594
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:14,959
Oh, hey, hey.
595
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,460
I'm so afraid.
596
00:23:16,461 --> 00:23:18,462
Hey, there, sweetheart,
everything'll be fine.
597
00:23:18,463 --> 00:23:20,464
Hey, it's okay.
598
00:23:20,465 --> 00:23:22,467
It's okay.
599
00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:34,478
ANNOUNCER:
Will Burt tell Mary he's going to die,
600
00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:36,480
or will he waituntil it's too late?
601
00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:37,481
Will Burt be able
602
00:23:37,482 --> 00:23:38,983
to break a recordbefore he dies?
603
00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:40,484
Will Jessicaget over her depression?
604
00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:42,486
Will Rose and Maryget over theirs?
605
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:44,488
Or will they alldepress each other,
606
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:45,990
over and over again?
607
00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:47,491
These questions and many others
608
00:23:47,492 --> 00:23:50,495
will be answeredon the next episode of... Soap.
609
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:58,503
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
39427
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