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ANNOUNCER:
In the last episode of Soap,
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00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,573
Eunice was cheating on Dutch,which could shorten her life.
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00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,074
Chester is going to therapy
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00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:11,577
for his lifelong problemof playing around.
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00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,580
Life is better for Dannynow that he's dating Polly.
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00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:16,081
Mary is bringing lifeinto the world
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00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:17,583
in that she's pregnant.
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00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,085
And poor Burt found outhe has a fatal disease,
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which will cuthis life short shortly.
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00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,589
Confused?
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00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,593
You won't beafter this episode of... Soap.
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This is the storyof two sisters,
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Jessica Tate...
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and Mary Campbell.
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These are the Tates...
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and these are the Campbells...
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and this is... Soap.
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Burt! Burt!
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We begin this episode
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shortly after Burt has found out
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he's going to die.
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Burt.
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Hey, Mare.
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He told you.
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00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:32,658
The doctor told you?
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I wanted to tell you myself.
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00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,663
You know?
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00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,164
He called me
just a little while ago
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00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,165
and told me.
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00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,668
Isn't it wonderful?
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00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:47,673
Wonderful?
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00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,174
This is... This...
This is wonderful?
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You don't want the baby?
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Ah! No, the baby.
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00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:53,679
Oh, Mare, I love the baby.
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00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,680
I love it.
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00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,682
I want your baby.
I love that baby.
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00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:57,683
It's so great.
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00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:58,684
Baby. I know.
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00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,185
But he didn't tell you
anything else?
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What else is there?
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00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:02,187
Oh, who knows?
I don't know.
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00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,188
Maybe he told you.
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00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,190
I got so crazy happy
when I found out.
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00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,692
Oh, Burt, I'm so relieved
that you're happy.
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00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,694
I didn't know
how you'd take the news.
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I mean, this isn't anything
we've ever discussed.
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This is not the best time
for us to be having a baby.
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You're telling me.
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It'll be wonderful, Burt.
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It will.
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A baby.
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With a baby, we'll stay young.
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Forget "young".
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I'll settle for "stay".
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Our first baby together.
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What is it?
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What?
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You're staring.
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Your face.
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I was looking at that face.
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I love it, Mare.
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You've got a great face, toots.
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I don't ever want
to stop seeing you.
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Are you crying?
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What? No. Yes.
Could be!
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Who knows? Joy.
Tears of joy here.
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Go pack a bag.
Pack?
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00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,252
Come on, Mare, pack.
We're going to go.
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We're going to travel.
We're going to see the world.
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We'll go to Africa, Mare.
Come on.
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Let's go to Africa
before it's too late.
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Too late for what?
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For the... For the rhinos, Mare.
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The rhinos are dying.
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The rhinos and all the elephants
are dying,
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not to mention others,
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00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,771
so let's get there
before they're all dead.
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Mare, please,
let's get to Africa
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00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,775
before Colonel Sanders does.
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Burt, this is perhaps
not the best time
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00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,780
for me to go to Africa,
you know?
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00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,782
Being pregnant and all.
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00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:37,783
I know!
Yes, you're pregnant!
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00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:38,784
No, don't do this.
Come over...
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00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:39,785
You don't go to Af...
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00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:41,286
The elephants...
Sit down, there.
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00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:42,788
Easy. That's it.
You sit down.
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00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,289
Mary, you should stay home.
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00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,291
Burt, I'd like to stay home.
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00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:47,793
I'm going to stay home
with you too, Mare.
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00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,295
For the next five...
God willing, six... months,
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00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:51,797
I'm not going to work.
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00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,298
Burt, you can't leave work.
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00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:54,800
I don't have to go there.
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00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,802
Danny can run everything.
I'm going to stay home with you.
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00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,303
And smoke.
You got a cigarette?
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00:03:58,304 --> 00:03:59,805
Burt, you don't smoke.
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00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,307
It's time to start.
I'm going to learn how.
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00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,810
What in the world
do you want to smoke for?
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00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,311
Because you're having
a baby, Mare.
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00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,312
That's traditional.
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00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,814
You... You...
You pass out cigarettes.
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00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,315
Cigars.
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00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:11,817
Cigars! Who cares?
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00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:12,818
I'll smoke anything.
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00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,821
I want to smoke and drink
and eat fatty foods.
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00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:16,822
Come on, Mare.
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00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,825
Let's go get us
a fatty pastrami.
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00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,827
Burt, I'm the one
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00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,829
that should want
the funny foods.
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00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:24,830
I'm the pregnant one.
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00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:26,832
Ah, that's right.
That's true.
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00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,333
This is... All right.
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00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,835
Go put on your best dress.
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00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:30,836
We're going to go out,
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00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:31,837
and we're going to celebrate.
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00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,338
Where?
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00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,840
What kind of funny food
you want?
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00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,341
French.
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00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:37,342
Good. Go get dressed.
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00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:38,343
We're going to Paris.
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00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:39,845
Come on! Mary, go! Go!
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00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:42,348
Not so fast.
Easy. Walking.
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00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,353
Phew.
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00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,859
Oh.
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00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,865
When they said, "You giveth
and you taketh away,"
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00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:03,368
they knew
what they were talking about.
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00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:06,371
But all in one day?
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00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:09,875
Ah, I'm sure
you've got your reasons.
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00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,878
I got a request, though.
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00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,881
Take care of them.
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00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,883
You take good care of them.
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00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,885
You, uh... do that.
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00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,887
Just do that one thing.
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00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,389
And if you get
a little time on your hands,
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00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,891
you got nothing to do,
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00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,392
don't wait for a telethon,
would you?
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00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,395
Just find a cure.
140
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:42,407
Oh, hurry. Hurry.
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00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,910
Oh, look at us.
We're soaked.
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00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:45,911
Oh...
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00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,412
I don't believe it.
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00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,413
Well, so much for the zoo.
145
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,915
Those poor animals,
having to stand
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00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,417
out in weather like this.
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00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:53,919
I never realized how rotten
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00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,922
an elephant could smell
when he's wet.
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00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,424
I love you.
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00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,426
Uh, sorry.
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00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,928
It, uh, just slipped out.
152
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:03,929
It's the rain.
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00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:04,930
Rain.
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00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:05,931
Do you think
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00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:06,932
it's going to rain tomorrow?
156
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,433
I heard that if the sky is red,
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00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:09,935
it usually means that...
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00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:14,940
Means that the rain...
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00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,441
Did you just kiss me like that
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00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:17,943
because you love me too,
or what?
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00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,444
I love you
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00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:20,946
and I never want to let you go.
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00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,957
I guess this means
that we'll be seeing
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00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,458
a lot more of each other, huh?
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00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,963
Oh, Danny.
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00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:42,968
They're staring.
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00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:43,969
Who?
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00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:44,970
Everybody. Look.
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00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,472
They're blatantly staring at us.
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00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:48,974
Well, we're kissing.
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00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:49,975
No, no. No, no.
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00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,476
That's not why they're staring.
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00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:54,480
They're staring because
we're a bisexual couple.
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00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,487
We are?
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00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,990
Yeah, you're black
and I'm white,
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00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:06,992
and they're staring.
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00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:08,994
We're also dripping wet
and hugging.
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00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,495
I'd stare at that.
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00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:11,997
Well, I tell you,
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00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:15,500
some people just have
nothing better to do.
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00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,002
Danny, it's so cold.
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00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,503
Oh, here, here, wrap up in this.
183
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:20,005
Oh, thank you.
184
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:23,508
Listen, as long as we're here,
why don't we dry off?
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00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:24,509
How?
186
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,011
There's no sun out there.
187
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,012
It's raining.
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00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,513
Dryers.
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00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,015
Oh, yeah.
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00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:31,516
Good idea.
191
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:39,024
Hey, how are we
going to do this?
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00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,526
You take off your shirt,
193
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:42,527
give me the jacket,
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00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,529
I'll take off my shirt,
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00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,531
put on the jacket
till the shirt is dry.
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00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:47,532
Okay.
Uh...
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00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,533
Here.
198
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,535
Wait a minute.
Uh...
199
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,037
I got it. I got. I got it.
200
00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,040
Ah, good. Good.
201
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,041
Yeah.
202
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,042
And then, uh...
203
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,543
And then I'll take off my pants,
204
00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:00,045
and you can
give me back the jacket,
205
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,546
and I'll tie the jacket
around my waist
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00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:03,048
until my pants are dry,
207
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,549
and then you can wear my pants
208
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,551
while your pants are drying.
209
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:11,056
How about you dry your shirt,
I wear it till mine dries,
210
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:14,059
then when mine dries,
I give yours back to you,
211
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,561
and you wear yours
and I wear mine?
212
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:18,563
Do I have to wear your pants?
213
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,565
Well, not unless you want to.
214
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:24,069
Good, because I don't do that.
215
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:27,072
Okay.
216
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,573
How about
we hop in the dryer ourselves
217
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,075
and save time?
218
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,076
Are you kidding?
219
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,577
You get hit with a hot zipper,
220
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:33,579
it's all over.
221
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,582
Hey, are you hungry?
222
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,084
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
223
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,085
How about you?
224
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,086
Yeah. What we got?
225
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:43,588
Let's see. We got...
226
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:50,595
We got wet egg salad
and wet ham and cheese.
227
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:51,596
Yuck.
228
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,598
Anything dry?
229
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:55,601
Just the coffee.
230
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:00,605
What's the matter?
231
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:03,608
Their staring at us again.
232
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:05,610
Danny, I don't wonder.
233
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:06,611
I mean, look at us.
234
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:07,612
I'm telling you,
235
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:12,117
some people just have
nothing better to do.
236
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,118
Danny...
237
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,119
Well, it's not right.
238
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,120
Danny...
239
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,122
right or wrong,
people are going to stare.
240
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,623
I mean, we're different,
241
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,126
and they may or may not approve,
242
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,127
but the fact of it is
243
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,629
that we're just going to
have to get used to that.
244
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,131
I know.
245
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,133
You're right.
246
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,136
Hey, let's get out of here.
247
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,138
Well, I don't think
our clothes are dry yet.
248
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,140
Hey, sure they are.
249
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,641
How about that?
250
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,143
Dry as a bone.
251
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:41,147
Oh, good.
252
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:43,648
I love you.
253
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:45,150
I heard.
254
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,160
What are you staring at, clown?
255
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,161
Danny...
256
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:58,163
No, wait a minute.
What are you staring at?
257
00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,664
Because we're different colors?
258
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:00,665
Because, uh...
259
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,167
Because maybe you don't approve?
260
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,170
Huh? Is that it,
bug eyes?
261
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,673
We happen to be in love.
262
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:11,676
I'm very happy
for the both of you.
263
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:12,677
So what's your problem?
264
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,681
You've got on my shirt.
265
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,185
Oh...
266
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:31,696
Hi.
267
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:32,697
Hi.
268
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:33,698
What time is it?
269
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,200
Nine.
270
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,201
Nine? Nine in the morning?
271
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:38,203
Yes.
Why didn't you wake me?
272
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,204
Because if I woke you,
273
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:43,208
we wouldn't have gotten
any sleep at all.
274
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,209
Sleep?
275
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,710
Who cares about sleep?
276
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:48,213
A person spends
a third of his life sleeping.
277
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,714
Why don't we go back to bed?
278
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,217
Let me get a little nourishment
first, okay?
279
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,718
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
280
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:54,719
I'm just so excited.
281
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:55,720
I mean, it's like
discovering America
282
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:58,223
or a third arm or something.
283
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,228
I know.
284
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,230
This is the greatest thing
that ever happened to me.
285
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:08,733
I should have started this
10 years ago.
286
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,736
I mean, to hell with television.
287
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:13,238
Why don't we have
some breakfast together.
288
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,739
Who could eat?
289
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,241
I feel like running
up on the roof
290
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,242
and telling
the whole neighborhood
291
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,743
what happened last night.
292
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:22,247
Well, I'm sure that most of them
already know.
293
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,750
I was a little loud, wasn't I?
294
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,755
I understand how you feel.
295
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,257
Like Christopher Columbus.
296
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:35,260
But this wears off in time.
297
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,262
I can't imagine why.
298
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,764
You know, Billy,
sex isn't everything.
299
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:43,268
You're wrong.
300
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,769
No, it isn't.
301
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,771
It didn't keep
my marriage together.
302
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:49,274
There's got to be
much more than sex.
303
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,276
I know that.
Don't you think I know that?
304
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,278
It just can't be
all that we have.
305
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,280
Look, this could stop tomorrow
and I'd still be with you.
306
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:57,782
It's just icing on the cake.
307
00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:59,284
Oh, Billy.
308
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,788
Now, how about some breakfast?
309
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:06,291
We'll eat later.
310
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,308
Oh.
311
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,811
I don't believe this.
312
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,814
Hi.
313
00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:31,316
Hi.
314
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,317
How's my favorite mother?
315
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,319
Fat.
Your favorite mother is fat.
316
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,820
Ma, you're not fat.
317
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:38,323
It's okay, really.
318
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,325
It's the most wonderful thing
about being pregnant.
319
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,826
You can eat all you want,
320
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:44,329
because eventually you'll have
no figure to worry about anyhow.
321
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:46,331
Mallomar?
322
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:47,332
Uh, no thanks.
323
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,833
You're terrific.
324
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,335
What's that for?
325
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:51,836
What's that for?
326
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,838
You're going to be a new mother,
and that's wonderful.
327
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:56,341
Life is wonderful.
328
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:57,842
Could we talk?
329
00:12:57,843 --> 00:12:58,843
I thought we were.
330
00:12:58,844 --> 00:12:59,844
About me.
331
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:01,346
Of course.
332
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,347
I'm in love.
333
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:05,351
I know.
334
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,854
You know?
335
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,856
You think
I don't know my own boy?
336
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:13,358
You're finally happy again.
337
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,360
I can see it in your eyes.
338
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,362
I'm so happy I can't believe it.
339
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,864
Who is she?
Black.
340
00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,866
Black?
341
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:22,867
Right.
342
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:25,370
Martha Black
from down the block?
343
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,871
No.
344
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:28,873
Good, because she's married.
345
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:30,375
This one's a widow.
346
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,377
Who?
The one I love.
347
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:35,880
She's a widow, and black.
348
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,383
Black?
349
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:42,387
You mean in terms of color?
350
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:44,889
I'm nuts about her.
351
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,891
Oh, boy.
352
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,393
Oh, boy.
353
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,395
Ma...
354
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,897
I don't believe
you feel this way.
355
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,899
Danny, I don't feel that way,
356
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,901
but there are idiots out there
who do feel that way,
357
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,903
and they tend to make life
very hard
358
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:00,906
for those of you
who feel the way you do.
359
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:05,410
I'm scared, that's all.
360
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,911
We love each other.
361
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:09,914
How do her parents
feel about this?
362
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:13,418
They hate it.
363
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,419
Oh, good.
364
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:16,921
So far, it's a piece of cake.
365
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,923
Come on, Bob, try it.
366
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:22,427
No way! No way!
367
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,431
No way.
I'm scared stiff.
368
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,432
No way, no way.
369
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,433
Aah!
370
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,434
Look out, Jodie!
371
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:32,437
Aah!
Whoa!
372
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:33,938
Look, if God had wanted me
373
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,440
to have little wheels
on my feet,
374
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:38,943
I would have been a skateboard.
375
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:40,445
Bob, it's fun.
Look, let me show...
376
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:41,946
No, no, no, no, don't show me.
377
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:44,449
I don't want you to show me.
378
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,451
Bob, there's a lot of girls
379
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,952
at the roller rink.
380
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:48,953
Well, yeah,
381
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,956
there's a lot of girls
at the beach too.
382
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,462
Uh, Chuck and I thought
we'd go roller-skating.
383
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,464
I see.
384
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,465
You want to come?
385
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:01,967
Uh...
386
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:06,471
No, actually.
387
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,974
Uh, Chuck...
388
00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:14,979
Yeah?
389
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,481
How about a whip
with Bob at the end?
390
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:17,982
Hey, yeah.
391
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:19,023
Come on, here you go, Bob!
392
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,488
Bob! Bob!
393
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:32,997
What's the problem?
394
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:36,000
Well, uh, remember that girl?
395
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:37,502
The one we were looking for?
396
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:38,503
Yeah.
397
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:39,504
Polly.
Yeah.
398
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:40,505
Black?
Yeah.
399
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:41,506
You met her
in the...? Yeah.
400
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:42,507
You're in love
with her? Yeah.
401
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:43,508
I'm not surprised.
402
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,009
I am.
403
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,010
So what's
the problem? I'm white.
404
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,011
So?
405
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,012
She's not.
So forget her.
406
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:49,014
I can't.
Then don't.
407
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,017
We're right back
where we started.
408
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:56,521
Yeah, but for a while,
it was going very nicely.
409
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,523
Look, it's just not that simple.
410
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:02,527
I-I don't know
what I'm going to do.
411
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,028
What are you worried about?
412
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,531
Other people.
413
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,033
Danny, all my life,
I've had to worry
414
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,035
about what other people
thought about me,
415
00:16:11,036 --> 00:16:12,537
and I was alone for a long time,
416
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,539
but all I can tell you is this...
417
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,542
if you really love her,
don't let her go,
418
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:20,044
because you may never
find her again,
419
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:21,045
and that would be worse
420
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:24,048
than anything
anybody could ever do to you.
421
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,551
That was beautiful.
422
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:29,554
Thanks, Jodie.
423
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,556
No problem, Dan.
424
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:33,057
Just follow your heart.
425
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:36,060
Hey, are we
going skating or not?
426
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:37,061
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
427
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:39,063
See you later.
428
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,566
Well, I got to get going too.
429
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,068
I got to go meet Polly.
430
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,571
How do you really feel
about this?
431
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:51,075
Well, I feel life
is sometimes hard,
432
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:54,579
and it is less than perfect,
433
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,080
but it's your life,
434
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:57,582
and the choices you make
435
00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:00,084
will be the best choices
for you,
436
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:02,087
and that's okay with me.
437
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,593
Thanks, Ma.
438
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:14,599
Oh...
439
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:26,110
Hi.
440
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,612
Oh, hi, Mary.
441
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,113
So, tell me,
442
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,616
what is the big news?
443
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,618
I've been waiting all morning.
444
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,119
You won't believe it.
445
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,622
You won't believe
what I have to tell you.
446
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,123
Oh, let me guess.
447
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,124
You'll never guess.
448
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:41,125
Never.
449
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:42,627
Not in a million years.
450
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,128
It would be the last thing
in the world
451
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,630
that would cross your mind.
452
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:50,635
We could sit here for days
and you would never think of it.
453
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,639
What are you going to tell me,
that you're pregnant?
454
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,648
Well, you have even managed
to ruin this one.
455
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,149
Oh, Mary.
456
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:06,651
How wonderful.
457
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,152
You're pregnant?
458
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:10,154
Oh, that's wonderful.
459
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,157
I'm so happy for you.
460
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,161
Always, whenever
I have had a surprise,
461
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:18,663
you have managed to ruin it.
462
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:19,664
When we were little,
463
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,165
you knew what was
in my birthday presents
464
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,667
before I opened them.
465
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:25,169
You knew I was going
to be engaged before I did.
466
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,671
You probably know
when I'm going to die.
467
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:29,174
No. When?
468
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,678
Oh, Mary, this is so exciting.
469
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:37,181
It is the best news
in the world.
470
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:38,182
Oh...
471
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:39,684
How do you feel?
472
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:40,685
Nauseous.
473
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,186
I remember that.
474
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,188
But I'm eating like a pig.
475
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,189
I know.
476
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,190
When I was pregnant,
477
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,192
I sat down
in front of the refrigerator
478
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:49,193
for nine months
479
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:50,194
and never moved.
480
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:52,196
Jessica...
481
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,198
Do you think
I'll be able to do it?
482
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:56,200
I think you already have.
483
00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:58,202
No, what I mean is,
484
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:01,706
do you think I'll have
the energy and patience?
485
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:05,209
It's been a long time
since I've had a baby.
486
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,711
Oh, Mary, don't worry.
487
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,713
It'll be wonderful.
488
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:09,714
And I'll help.
489
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,215
And if it's a little boy,
490
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:13,718
it can have Timmy's
hand-me-downs.
491
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:15,219
Of course,
if it's a little girl,
492
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:16,721
it can have them too.
493
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,223
I mean, we're not talking
about three-piece suits here.
494
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:20,725
Don't worry, Mary.
495
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,226
It'll be wonderful,
496
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:23,728
and I'm going to help you...
497
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,229
wherever I can.
498
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:27,231
It'll be a piece of cake.
499
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:29,734
Oh. You have some?
500
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,235
What?
501
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:32,236
Cake.
502
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:33,237
Well, I have some cookies.
503
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,740
Anything.
504
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,742
So, how are things with Chester?
505
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:40,244
Oh, he is working so hard.
506
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,747
He's going to the minister's
counseling sessions
507
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:46,250
morning, noon, and night.
508
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,252
It is so wonderful to see.
509
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:50,254
Which ones do you want?
510
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,257
All.
511
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:57,261
Mary, how does Burt
feel about the baby?
512
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,263
Oh, Burt is thrilled.
513
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,766
We've never had a baby before.
514
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,267
I know.
515
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:05,770
This will be...
516
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,773
the first...
517
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:09,774
Oh!
518
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,776
Are you going to throw up?
519
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:13,277
Jessica!
520
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:16,781
A bowl.
I'll get you a bowl.
521
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,783
A calendar.
I need a calendar.
522
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,284
Yes, yes, okay.
523
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:21,786
I really don't think
that's exactly the right thing.
524
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,287
I mean, Mary,
525
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,290
it's going to go right through.
526
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:32,797
Not a colander. A calendar.
527
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,298
A calendar.
528
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,299
With dates.
529
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,300
Oh. Oh, yes.
530
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:37,802
A calendar...
531
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,303
Here. Here, Mary.
532
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:40,304
Here's a calendar.
533
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:41,305
Oh, this is awful.
534
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:42,807
This is just so awful.
535
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:45,811
See, I found saltines helped.
536
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,314
Jessica...
537
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,817
this baby may not be Burt's.
538
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:53,819
Oh...
539
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,826
Well, it was when Burt
went up to the spaceship
540
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:04,829
and Alien Burt came down,
541
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,330
and...
542
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:09,333
I made love with both of them.
543
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,836
It could be either one.
544
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,338
I see.
545
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:19,343
Well, Mary, did Alien Burt
look like Real Burt?
546
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:20,344
Exactly.
547
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:21,846
Well, then
you don't have a problem,
548
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,347
because, you see,
549
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,850
the baby will look like a Burt,
and Burt will never know.
550
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:32,357
Jessica, Alien Burt
was really a little silver man.
551
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,360
Well, Mary,
if it's a little silver baby,
552
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:38,363
then we'll know
who the father is.
553
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:43,367
You know, the Kents
had the same problem.
554
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:45,369
Fred and Lillian Kent?
555
00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:48,873
No, Mr. and Mrs. Clark Kent.
556
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:52,877
I don't believe I know them.
557
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,379
Superman and Lois Lane.
558
00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:59,884
If they had a baby,
it might fly.
559
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:03,387
You see, Mary,
this isn't unusual at all.
560
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:06,390
I mean, with a baby,
you never know what will happen.
561
00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:08,392
I mean, will it have blue eyes?
562
00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:10,394
Will it be left-handed?
563
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:11,395
Will it be silver?
564
00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:14,398
Will it fly?
565
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:18,903
But, whatever you have,
you'll love it just the same.
566
00:22:33,418 --> 00:22:35,419
ANNOUNCER:
Now that Billy has found a new pastime,
567
00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:37,421
will he ever doanything else again?
568
00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:39,423
What kind of babywill Mary have?
569
00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:42,426
Will she have to buy baby foodor a dry cell battery?
570
00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:44,929
What will Danny and Polly donow that they're in love?
571
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,931
These questions and many others
572
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:49,935
will be answeredon the next episode of... Soap.
573
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:57,943
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
37423
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