All language subtitles for Rabid Grannies (1988).EN

(birds chirp) (church bell tolls)

(footsteps clack)

(stamp thuds)

Come in.

Sit down.

I've been informed of your wish

to take leave of our holy community.

Just for the weekend, Reverend Father.

[Reverend Father] Of course,
but if I'm not mistaken,

it's for a family party.

Yes, that's right.

You see, I must go home, Reverend Father.

It's a Remington family tradition.

My aunts, Victoria and Elizabeth,

are going to have their
birthday this Friday.

There's the occasion for a family reunion.

Otherwise, a very rare event.

May I add, Reverend Father,

my two aunts are very pious women.

I'm quite aware of their reputation.

Why, that reputation has even penetrated

the walls of the Vatican.

But... there is a "but."

Remember, Brother Percival,

that this annual escapade of yours.

Is completely against our rules.

If such an irregularity were
not turned in our favor...

I...

I'm afraid I don't follow you.

It's quite simple, actually.

Your aunts are

extremely rich

and quite old.

It seems that the rest of the clan.

Is financially well off.

However, their moral character

is not free of certain weaknesses.

Quite difficult for us to forgive.

Would you like us to go into detail?

Reverend Father!

There's your cousin, Harvey.

He's general director of
the Gold Gun Arms factories.

His activities hardly advance world peace!

And there's your Uncle Frederick.

He's in industrial pharmaceuticals.

Condoms and other birth control devices

make up the largest part
of their production.

This, in spite of the extremely
firm position of the Pope,

and Erika with her modeling
agency and fashion magazine.

She makes the best of
her positions to satisfy

her lesbian taste for young models,

who are all too willing and
ready to do anything to succeed.

Shall I continue?

No. I think not.

I don't think I could!

Apart from your aunts, who
are admittedly saintly women,

the rest of the clan reminds
me of Sodom and Gomorrah!

I ask you, Brother Percival,

not as a Remington, but as a priest,

would God want such a
considerable sum of money

winding up in the hands of
that flock of black sheep?

You can easily convince
them that our brotherhood

and its work with the
young are most deserving.

You'll have the distinct
advantage of reminding them

how we can intercede, on their behalf,

to assure an equally
rich reward in Heaven.

I'm sure it's possible, Reverend Father.

I was hoping that I might
find chance to persuade.

Go right ahead and do
so, Brother Percival.

I'm happy to see

that you are aware of your duty,

and that of your aunts,

towards our holy community.

Go in peace.

(footsteps clack)

(cheerful orchestral music)

(birds squawk)

Here we are, roadies.

After having lived here

for 92 years,

don't you think we can't
recognize our own village?

Of course, m'lady.

Excuse me, m'lady.

Go refresh yourself at
the pub, my trusted friend.

We shall be at least one hour.

But don't drink too much!

Yes, m'lady.

(cheerful music cont.)

(coins clink)

(cheerful orchestral music)

(indistinct chatter)

Well?

Get a move on!

Or we shall be late for tea!

Alice!

Alice!

Never around when I want her!

Alice!

Saints preserve us, where
have you been this time?

I'm doing me best, ma'am.

Then sit down and do your best

helping me pluck these pheasants!

Yes, ma'am.

Mrs. Barnstable?
- What now, girl?

[Alice] Is it true what
they say in the village?

What do they say in the village?

Well, that the family is only
after our mistress's money.

- And who said that?
- Well, the owner of the pub.

He heard it from Father Henry.
- That's rich, that is!

We can thank that old
goat, Father Henry, again.

He's crazy and...

Mad.

Keep plucking, girl!

At least in this mansion,
we're down to earth.

At least in my kitchen!
Just look at the time.

Still have to prepare the salmon souffles,

steam the lobsters,

stuff the pheasants and set the table.

So keep your questions
until later, please!

All right, girl.

I suppose we can talk and
work at the same time.

The whole bloody family
Is after the money!

The darling old girls are blind as a bat.

And worst of all, there's not one worth it.

Do you hear me, Alice? Not one.

All of them!

Parasites.

Hypocrites!

Be very careful of those people, Alice.

They look good, sound good and
they're respected everywhere,

but that family is like a stillborn calf.

Soft and smooth on the surface,

but underneath,

nothing but maggot-infested rotting flesh!

(car whooshes)

You know, with these engine problems,

I hope we don't get there last.

Why? It's not a race.

But that's just it. It is a race!

(scoffs) Really?

Yes, really! Damn it!

Do you think I'd go to this
geriatric birthday party

just to hold their wrinkled,
trembling old hands?

Do you have any idea
how many bloody problems

I'm having at my factories?

That fire last week.

Two tons of rubbers gone up in smoke.

Do you know how much that cost me?

And the pollution.

When plastic burns, it pollutes! It stinks.

Those mad ecologists have been on my ass

for three weeks now!

And it's just begun!

Where's the connection with your aunts?

Ah! You can't see the connection.

I'll tell you the connection.

If those two old crows would finally die

and leave me just one
third of their fortune,

nobody could touch me.

I'd build up the company
and corner the market.

I'd crush the Germans and the Americans

with their silly French ticklers.

As for the ecologists? Up theirs!

But in this race, I've got
10 others from the family

after the same trophy!

It's so touching to hear
how much you love your family.

Wait 'til you meet 'em. You'll understand.

But darling, I understand.

I'm sure I'll love your aunties.

By the way.

Does the family know you've remarried?

Did you think I was gonna show up

with a girl 30 years younger

and simply say to those human hemorrhoids,

"She's number two, a nightclub singer.

A would-be opera star.

Let good old Fred have his final fling"?

Well, just what did you say?

Hah! I told 'em a story, all right.

You're to sing next year at Lascala.

(chuckles) From nightclubs
to Lascala. What a conceit.

If I told them where you really worked,

holy hell, we'd be disowned,
disinherited, disemboweled.

If they could get their
precious Percival to do it.

So understanding.

Your dear, dear aunties.

I know, but try and be
nice and act distinguished,

because I'm telling
you, I haven't won yet!

Damn. Twenty past four already.

Watch out! (Tires screech)

Roadhog!

(traffic humming)

It's not yours! Give it to me!

All right, you two. That's enough!

Well, that's done!

Otherwise, we'd have to walk there.

(Suzie screams)

Now what?

- He took my cookie!
- I took just one!

But darling, such a fuss for a cookie.

You must learn to share with others.

[Suzie] Why don't Aunt Victoria

and Elizabeth share with us?

Oh, it's not the same thing, my dear.

They'll share what they
have when they die!

Okay, Mommy.

I'll share my cookies with
him only when I'm dead.

That's enough! (Playful music)

Quiet, you two!

Give me those cookies, now!

Children, unbelievable.

(engine revs)

[Advertiser] Islam needs you!

Down with American imperialism!

Revenge your dead! Take up
arms, but not just any gun.

Our J32 was inspired by Allah,

so it's easier to use and effective.

One blast can wipe out 20
infidels, or your money back.

Can you find better?

The J32 from Gold Gun Industries,
at the service of Allah!

[Harvey] Not bad.

At the moment, I only
have the Islamic version.

Next week, I'll have the Russian
and the Chinese versions.

Right.

I'm expected at a family
party this evening.

And I'm already running late.

What's my schedule for Monday?

You have an appointment with
our Central American friends

at 11 a.m.

They want to see the 127 in action.

Damn. I won't have
time to get back here.

I thought about that.

I put a 127 in the trunk of your car,

with a few rounds of ammunition.

Good weekend, my friend.

If it is good, in about a year or two,

we can start building tanks,
heavy cannons, maybe jets.

And then a nice third World War.

Stop dreaming, Michael.

Let's not ask for too
much. That could backfire.

Give the video author a
raise for being unscrupulous.

[Mother] Bertha, I forbid you to go.

- Mommy, I must.
- No, you mustn't go.

You must stay here, near your mother!

I don't feel well, I'm going to die.

[Bertha] Oh, for 20 years
you've been saying that

every time I leave the house for two days.

You're all right. I'm
sorry, I'm expected soon!

[Mother] All right, go! Leave me.

Let me die like an animal!

(car whooshes)

(upbeat synth music)

[Bertha] I may not get there first,

but they'll appreciate the effort I made

with this old thing.

Ah.

There she is. Bertha.

The family virgin.

Now, we'll have a laugh.

If she arrives.

(bicycle clunks)

Yee-hah!

(birds chirp)

Get a move on, girl!
They'll be here soon!

I'm doing me best, ma'am.

[Erika] These woods
we've been passing through

for the past 10 minutes are
part of my aunts' estates.

Their mansion house
isn't even in sight yet.

[Rachel] Do you think they
could leave you everything?

All that?

[Erika] If I didn't think
so, I wouldn't be here.

[Rachel] Where would you be?

Home.

In bed.

With you.

That's nice, but how are you going

to explain me to your aunts?

You're my new collaborator.

You write for my magazine.

Don't worry, it'll be all right.

Victoria and Elizabeth are
very old and very naive.

For the rest, they know my taste in sex,

and they'll try to upset you.

Let it go in one ear and out the other.

Oh, easy.

Hey, listen!

We're not here to enjoy ourselves.

Okay?

Don't forget it.

Mm-hm.

Hey!

There's my dear cousin Fred's new wife.

Not bad.

She must have caused
that old toad a bundle.

Interested in her?

If you feel like buying
her, wait for the heritage.

Don't be bitchy.

You know I'm only here for business.

Besides, you'll have all you
need to enjoy yourself, angel.

(birds chirp)

(fire crackles)

(clock chimes)

Is everything ready, Radu?

Certainly, m'lady.

Good.

It's so important

the family be received
in the finest manner.

They're so nice.

If m'lady says so.

Hm.

Hell! He's all we need.

- What's wrong?
- That imbecile.

(engine roars) (upbeat rock music)

(tires screech)

Stuck up little prick! Just wait!

(horn honks)

(engine roars) (upbeat rock music)

(horn honks) (Fred groans)

The bastard! (Engine roars)

The little shit!

What's going on?

Same as every other year.

It's my young cousin, Roger.

A conceited, useless idiot

who's gone through his mother's
fortune in just 10 years.

He's here to hopefully
fill up his bank account.

Mrs. Barnstable! They're here!

I know it, girl!

(car door slams)

Just wait and see when
I kill that jet-set jerk!

Good day.

Hey, you little idiot! You
driving for gangsters these days?

Why, it was you, Uncle
Fred. I didn't recognize you.

You've grown old.

However, your newest wife?

Very nice, indeed.

Cousin Erika. I'm so
pleased to see you again.

Uh-huh. You lie as
poorly as you make love.

About the lying, I know.
I've been told often.

For the rest, what would you know?

You're not going to introduce me?

Rachel, this is Roger Harris.

A Remington, only by his mother.

I'm enchanted, Rachel.

Are you cousin Erika's,
uh... new collaborator?

Yes, that's right.

And it works, this, um, collaboration?

Yes. Well, we've only just begun.

Yes, I see.

Well, you know, this kind
of collaboration is always

the hardest in the beginning.

Afterwards, you'll get used to it.

Jesus Christ!

It's about time your mistresses installed

some electricity in the halls.

After all, it's not the Middle Ages.

(sighs) The bedrooms have sun, sir.

At least we won't break
our necks getting into bed.

Here.

Your room, Sir.

(bike squeaks)

Well, well.

Cousin Bertha.

Exercising?

(engine roars)

- Not too disappointed?
- With what?

Well, not having a
connecting room with Erika.

It'll be quite difficult to...

collaborate tonight.

I was warned about this family

and the sarcasm I'd have to suffer.

You're getting very boring.

Hang on, old girl.

I promise I'll find
something new quite soon.

We'll see.

Here's your room, miss.

If you require anything,

there is a bell cord by your bed.

For you, sir, it's the room
at the end of the corridor.

As usual.

Permit me to inform you

that drinks will be served in
the small saloon in one hour.

Okay, Radu. Thanks.

"Okay, Radu. Thanks."

What an age.

(lively harpsichord music)

[Fred] Will you be ready soon?

Yes.

Soon.

Are you changing?

[Fred] God damn it!

It's been 20 years since I refused

to put on a fucking monkey suit

and I'm not gonna start now!

You're not going to act stupid tonight.

[Fred] Listen, you!

Did I comment when you
burned your nagging face

with your overpriced hair curler?

They should all be here by now.

It's that parasite of a priest.

Aren't you ready?

(knocks on door)

Oh, it's you.

Can I come in?

If you insist.

Does it amuse you, watching me do that?

1 find you very beautiful.

Oh, very original.

I see banality is quite normal for you.

You know what I'm thinking about?

No, but I've got a terrible feeling

that you're going to tell me.

Well, if I did manage to
get hold of that inheritance,

I'd like to buy you from
Erika for a good price.

(hand slaps)

You don't like hearing the truth?

I don't like hearing it from total strangers.

Total strangers?

It all depends on you if we remain so.

It all depends on me?

Yes.

Well, there's no danger
of our relationship

taking off for a long time.

You really hate men?

I don't see any men here.

I can only see a poor excuse for a man

who thinks he's Robert Redford.

All right.

Now, it's my turn.

So you're trying to survive,
but I think you want a man.

You can't admit it.

You're no spinster.

Stop being so aggressive.

Come on, now.

Relax a little.

In these secular times, my dear aunt,

our holy community finds it
difficult just to survive.

How we continue to educate our boys!

I was a teacher, too, Percival,

and I know how much you love children,

so I thought I'd sit you by them.

They all at the table.

Mrs. Barnstable.

Not a bit too soon, either.

Alice! Help Radu with the lobsters.

Yes, ma'am.

(lively orchestral music)

(John giggles)

The one about the husband!

Who's impotent! (Giggles)

He goes... he goes to
his doctor... (giggles)

And he... he... (giggles)

Did I tell you that one?

How about the one about the young lady

who just wanted to eat
her lobster in peace?

Did I tell you that one?

All the same, Harvey.

I'll never understand how
you can do the job you do.

Selling all those arms, which
will kill so many innocents.

That's immoral.

Honestly, Auntie. Am I wrong?

Dear, gentle Helen, I do agree.

Harvey, my boy.

Yours is a horrible business!

Yes, Harvey.

Helen has a strong point.

Profiting from such an enterprise.

(Harvey chuckles)

Why, Aunt Elizabeth.

On the contrary.

My very strong sense of moral duty

compelled me to be a part of Gold Gun.

I certainly can't follow that.

It's quite simple.

Our products help in the struggle

against communist expansion in the world.

In that way, I'm certainly pleasing God.

I never looked at it that way before.

What do you say, Percival?

(Percival gasps)

Since it is to kill communists...

Like I always say, it's all in the mind.

I think the old proverb says it best.

"With a pure heart,"

"all is pure."

I feel so reassured!

I was beginning to doubt you, my boy.

Oh, Auntie Victoria.

Only senility could explain
that degree of gullibility.

We're leaving first thing in the morning.

Be ready.

Or I swear I'll leave without you.

[Rachel] What's with you?

I thought we were staying the weekend.

I didn't bring you here to get all excited

over that horny, tight-pants stud.

So now all that's over, we leave tomorrow.

(chuckles) Well, well, cousin.

Conjugal problems? (Laughs)

Boring bastard.

Stop that.

If you please.

I'm warning you, I'm going to get angry!

All right! You've asked for it!

What's happening, Percival?

Nothing, Aunt Victoria.

I'm just showing the child
how to use a fork properly.

He's a dear little fellow. (Chuckles)

How's it going out there?

If I dare to say,

painfully.

(bell rings)

What now? Who can
that be at such an hour?

Alice, go and see!

Me?

Why me?

And why not you?

I dunno.

It's pitch black out there!

And it's far to the gate.

And I'd have to go through
those creepy bushes!

You silly little twit!

And just who do you think you're
going to meet at the gate?

The devil?

(Barnstable scoffs)

Get a move on, girl!

You're too old to be talking that way.

Besides, I need Radu
to serve the pheasant.

Move it!

Yes, ma'am.

Youngsters!

Damnation.

(eerie music) (owls hoot)

This is private property, madam.

What can we do for you?

Open this gate.

I can't, madam.

Open

this gate.

(wind howls)

(eerie music cont.)

(chain clinks)

(gate squeaks)

Ah.

That's better.

I don't like talking through bars.

But would you be so kind
as to give them this,

and to wish them the best
birthday of their lives?

They're all so little.

They shall be given
this very evening, madam.

I'm counting on that.

Good evening.

Good evening.

(gate squeaks)

(eerie music cont.)

(owl hoots)

So you opened up for her

without knowing what she wanted first?

That's great.

This place is really safe.

A pity NATO doesn't put you
on guard at the Berlin wall.

Defecting would be so much easier.

But she only stayed a minute.

She left this for our mistresses.

What is it? A time bomb?

I don't know!

It's a very successful evening.

I don't regret having married Fred.

(family murmurs)

What's wrong?

Why are you looking at me like that?

I know you were merely
joking, my darling,

but it might not be evident to the others.

We were a bit confused, old boy.

Roguish tricks are sisters
to beauty, they say.

I understand perfectly
well the roguish antics

of your beautiful, young wife.

And anyway, black humor is so...

British.

Just the right word!

And Jessica practices ice cold humor!

(Jessica chuckles)

Aww.

I dunno what you're up to,

but if all it is to get her in your bed,

I'll warn you now.

She hasn't had enough to drink yet.

You little whore.

My children!

Isn't it exciting?

A stranger has brought this package

and a letter, just for us.

Neither of us has a
clue as to who sent it.

It's quite unexpected.

Most likely, it's another
one after the profits.

It's sickening!

(scoffs) Sickening is the word.

- Yes.
- Now, tell us the truth!

It's one of you who's behind all this.

In any case, it's deplorable that he or she

hasn't made themselves known.

Aunt Elizabeth.

Does this person suffer from
the light of day? I ask you.

That's right, Auntie.

When you really love someone,

you come to see them, like we have.

There's also an envelope.

Open it and let's get this over with.

Well, perhaps it is time
to open up our presents!

That's right! Bring on
the presents! (Laughs)

And we can keep the
package 'til the end.

It'll add to the surprise!

Good idea, Bertha.

Radu?

Would you bring the
presents, if you please?

Yes, m'lady.

(cheerful orchestral music)

(Elizabeth giggles)

My dear children.

You are so generous.

For us,

it's...

Such happiness.

Yes.

Such happiness.

Here's to another 20 years!

God help us.

With God's will and...

we love you all so much.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Don't overdo it.

Do you think this is too much?

And the anonymous package?

We'll never know what's in it.

Now, I'm going to read it.

"Dear Aunties."

I am aware my presence is
not desired this evening.

However, in my absence, let my
humble gift congratulate you.

It's very old and full of surprises

I wish I could be there to witness.

I accept I have been
written out of your will.

I only ask forgiveness

and a little refound friendship.

I send my deep affection.

"Love, Christopher."

Oh, Elizabeth.

How he's changed.

Changed?

Christopher?

Oh, please!

You may as well expect a
vulture to become a vegetarian.

Frankly, Aunt Victoria,
Christopher may be our relative,

but he deserves only one thing.

Condemnation!

Percival was right
about that horrible man.

Just think what he's done!

We should have a...

Shut up, Bertha!

That evil boy doesn't deserve our pity!

Such sacrileges he committed.

To put him back in the will
would be a big mistake!

I'm sorry, but we must
be firm and unmoving,

or we sacrifice our own moral values!

All our values, in short.

We must all remember our
blessed Lord's example.

All his life, he practiced forgiveness!

What's Christopher done
that you all hate him so?

You'd better ask what he hasn't done.

He once belonged to a satanic sect.

Actually became the head priest of it.

He was really the black
sheep of the family.

One foul night, he and his ghoulish group

broke into a cemetery in a London suburb.

They were celebrating a black mass.

Until the police arrived.

He got 10 months.

Well, we could at
least open the package!

Oh.

It's lovely!

[Victoria] If this IS his peace offering,

he must be sincere.

You're right, my dear.

We should be thankful for such a change.

Oh, no. Don't even think about it.

The birthday cake!

We forgot the cake!

Oh, here it is!

I Happy birthday to you I

I Happy birthday, happy birthday I

2 Happy birthday ».

Blow and make a wish! I To you I.

[Family] A wish! A wish!

A wish! A wish!

A wish! A wish!

A wish!

(thunder rumbling)

(children applaud)

And now, Jessica is going
to sing your favorite song.

(thunder rumbling)

(Jessica vocalizes melodically)

(ominous tones)
(Jessica continues vocalizing)

(family applauds)

(Jessica chuckles)

I propose a toast, for the
hundredth time this night.

With all our hearts,

a happy, happy birthday to our dear aunts,

who we always have in mind.

(ominous music)

(Victoria gulps)

(Victoria gulps)

(Victoria growls)

(thunder rumbling)

Well, now, what a storm!

Our weekend is complete.

Radu, could you go to the stables

and check if the animals
are not too nervous?

A wise precaution.

Alice!

Close the windows in all the
rooms and bring in the wash!

Yes, ma'am.

(horse neighing)

Maybe we could eat the ice cream now.

Oh, good idea. We'll need a knife.

Radu!

[Family] Radu! A knife for the cake!

Radu, Radu!

I've got to go to the toilet.

Well, go on, then, but hurry!
We're going to eat dessert.

[Family] A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

(ominous tones) (Victoria snarls)

Radu! A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

But where is he?

We'll never get the cake cut. (Chuckles)

(Victoria roars)

(Victoria chuckles)

Here, girl.

Take this knife up to them,

then hopefully they'll stop all that noise.

Saints preserve us. What a family!

I wonder if any other surprises
are in store for this night.

(Elizabeth retches)

(Elizabeth roars)

(flesh cracks)

(Erika screams)

(Victoria snarls)

(Erika screams)

(flesh squelches)

That's smashing!

(Elizabeth belches)

(Elizabeth chuckles)

Holy shit!

(Helen screams)

(cheerful orchestral music)
(family screams)

(Victoria growls)

(Alice screams)

(glass shatters)

(distant screams)

(Alice groans)

Just listen to that uproar.

At least they're enjoying
themselves this year.

(muffled screams)

(Percival grunts)

Blasted thing!

(wind howling)

That doesn't sound good.

(Alice shrieks)

(soup trickles)

My God, Radu!

The lobster must have been fresh!

Milady has terrible indigestion!

(Jessica grunts)

No way out here. We'd break our necks.

Anyway.

They won't get in here.

That thing weighs a ton.

I hope so.

Did you see the strength they possess?

Listen, lesbian! Shut the hell up!

Don't try to scare us
more than we are already!

You listen.

Who pushed that enormous
thing in front of the door,

while you looked out of the window?

Me, the lesbian.

So you can shove it.

Let's all try to stay calm.

If we want to get through the night alive,

we must help each other.

John.

Please.

Excuse me, Rachel.

I got carried away.

I'm really sorry for your...

I mean, what happened to Erika.

That's all right.

It was too quick for her
to have suffered much.

(knocking on door)

- Do you think it's them?
- I don't know!

- Who's there?
- It's me!

Father Percival!

For pity's sake, open the door!

Wait! (Knocking on door)

Are they after you?

[Percival] I don't know!
Open, for God's sake!

Are you sure you're alone out there?

Make sure, damn it!

[Percival] You damn fool!

Do you think I could answer your questions

if they were here?

Open up!

All right, John!

You've asked him enough!
He's our flesh and blood!

Let him in!

Come in! (Percival pants)

(door slams)
- Thank you, Helen!

(Percival yelps)

As for you.

I'll never absolve you for such behavior!

If you try to confess this,

you can stick all that
penance cattle up your bum!

I say!

There's a child present.

I'm sorry.

(Bertha whimpers hysterically)

Can't you shut up for five minutes?

You're getting on everyone's nerves.

(Bertha sobs)

It can't be.

It's not possible!
- What's not possible?

All of this mess.

Those transformations, the possessions.

It's absurd! We're victims
of collective hallucination.

That's it! A collective hallucination.

Those things just don't exist.

Do you hear me? It's just our imagination.

They are not real and I'm
going out to prove it. Now.

They don't exist.

(Bertha whimpers)

(muffled screeching)

They exist.

I wonder if Fred is still alive.

In any case, it's no big loss.

That's my husband you're talking about,

you insensitive little bastard.

Shh! Listen. (Muffled howls)

What is it?

It's probably the old hags'
dog. He must have seen them.

It seems far away.

At least we've got
something to be glad for.

(suspenseful music)

Why is it so calm all of a sudden?

I don't know.

All I do know is that we've
got to get out of here.

My God.

I've just remembered.

Before dinner, I asked
Fred for the car keys.

I'd forgotten my face powder.

I've still got them.

Well, that changes everything.

Now, we'll get out of here
as quickly as possible

in Fred's car.

Yes, but what about the others?

Christ, what can we do?

They'll just have to be careful.

At the first village, we'll
stop and alert the police.

But isn't that just like abandoning them?

Of course not. We shall alert the police.

Oh, shit.

A dead end.

(ominous music)

Shh.

Listen.

Hey, what now?

I don't know.

Like breathing.

(muffled wind howling)

(Victoria growls) (Jessica screams)

(tense music)

(Victoria roars)

(Victoria screams)

(Victoria growls)

(Victoria screams)

Run!

(distant wind howling)

I think we've lost her.

Are you sure you know your
way through these cellars?

Do I just.

When I was a boy, I used to
bring the village girls here

to play doctor.

Come on.

There's a way out to the north.

(water sloshes) (distant wind howling)

(muffled shrieks)

(Jessica screams)

Oh, God.

Move.

(Victoria cackles) (tense music)

Quick! The keys!

(Victoria cackles)

Get a move on!

Oh, shut up, will you?

(tense music cont.)

Stupid bitch! What's happening?

Start it!

(engine roars)

God, we've done it!

It's got hold of it!

(Roger yells)

(Jessica grunts)

(Victoria snarls)

(tires screech) (bones crack)

(Jessica screams)

(Jessica screams)

(Jessica screams)

[Victoria] Oh, nasty little girl.

We cut off Aunt Victoria's hands.

We also cave her head in!

What way is that to act?

No!

[Victoria] I'll have to punish you.

No!

No!

Unless...

Unless you sing for my birthday.

Right away.

I Happy birthday to you I (eerie music)

I Happy birthday to you I (Jessica sobs)

Sing, bitch!

I Happy birthday to you I

I Happy birthday to you I

2 Happy birthday ».

J Dear Auntie 7

2 Happy birthday »

I To you I.

All right.

Go on.

You can go.

I can go?

Hurry up.

I like to change my mind.

(Jessica pants)

(ominous music)

Get on with it, my lovely [Indistinct].

[Voice] Kill her.

(indistinct demonic mumbling)

(Jessica screams)

(bones crack)

(indistinct demonic mumbling)

And you! Can't you do something?

Me?

Yes! You are a priest, aren't you?

I don't know.

Exorcise them.

Do... do... do what?

But bloody hell, what are you good for?

But I... (sighs)

For centuries, you have burned innocents

at your godforsaken stakes!

And now we've got two monsters after us,

and what are you doing about it?

You are just like a worm
who's crying and squirming

in front of the crucifix!

Pathetic bastards!

John, please.

After all, the Inquisition was not my fault.

Oh, hell. Forget it.

Oh my God.

What?

What's the matter?

Suzie.

She asked me 20 minutes ago
if she could leave the table

to go to the toilet.

She would have finished by now.

She wouldn't know what's happened since.

Oh my God.

How could we forget Suzie?

But this can't be happening!

Why did you have to let
her go to the toilet?

Oh, that's really the limit!

What the hell was I to do?

Say, "My dear Suzie, hold
on for just a moment,

because your great aunties are
going to turn into demons"?

Is that really what I should have said?

[Suzie] Where is everybody?

Mommy?

(eerie tones)
- Suzie.

Yes, I'm here.

Where are you?
- At the end of the corridor.

I'm coming!

I can't make it!

[Elizabeth] Continue,
my dear. You'll make it.

(hurried footsteps clack)

(Suzie gasps)

You see, my angel. (Wood creaks)

You're here.

(chair creaks rhythmically)
(eerie music cont.)

This is the bedroom I had
when I was a little girl,

just like you.

Nearly a century ago.

Can I play here?

[Elizabeth] Of course, my little lamb.

If you give me a kiss first.

[Suzie] Where are Mommy and Daddy?

In the house somewhere.

[Suzie] What are they doing?

They're playing hide
and seek with the others.

Auntie Victoria and myself

look for them

and we'll find them.

[Suzie] Can I play with you?

But my lamb, you're already playing!

If you had listened to me,

we wouldn't be here this weekend.

We'd be safe at home.

Of course.

Of course, our master is
content with his job as a clerk

and driving his own delivery van.

But I am a Remington!

An aristocrat who made
the mistake of marrying

a pen pusher who has no ambition!

Did you believe I could accept
that for the rest of my life,

when those millions could
change all our lives?

To hell with those millions
and your fucking family,

and its phony nobleness!

Yes, we commoners may well be dull,

but we leave our parties happy and alive!

Your sick family can burn in bloody hell!

- What did you say?
- Oh, please stop it!

You two should be looking
for your daughter.

Of course.

I don't know what's happening to us.

We're all going crazy.

Okay.

What shall we do?

You go.

I'll stay here and keep watch.

All right.

Keep watch.

Wait!

You can't open that door!

Those monsters could be behind it!

I know you want to save your daughter,

but to risk our lives?

I can't accept that!

I have a right to live also.

I simply won't allow a hysterical woman y

and her over-maternal instincts
to take that right from me!

We'll just wait here
and pray for the child.

That's all. (Sighs)

Selfish, phony bastard!

(Percival whimpers)

Listen well, priest.

I'm going out of this room
to look for my daughter,

who's only eight years old.

If you try and stop me,

I swear,

I'll knife those two holy orbs

you have so little use for.

Now, get out of my way.

I'm coming with you, Helen.

I'm warning you, I'm
putting the furniture back

and I won't open the door anymore!

(Percival whimpers)

Come on, dear.

I'd rather keep you

next to me.

I'm quite sure your
mother was proud of you

on the day of your ordination, right?

Yes, of course.

Why?

Because it wasn't the first time

she made a stupid mistake.

[Percival] Huh?

(muffled wind howling)

(chandelier rattling)

It could be the others.

No matter who it is, let's stay together.

Come on.

Let's continue.

(muffled wind howling)

Oh, I'm freezing.

They can't be far away.

[Gilbert] Mommy, I'm tired.

It'll be all right, my dear.

You'll see.

[Gilbert] Why are we here?

We're looking for your sister, darling.

(distant clicking)

It could be her.

Please.

Let it be her.

It seems to be coming from upstairs.

It's Suzie.

I knew we would find her.

(eerie music)

(Helen screams)

(Helen pants)

Suzie.

(Helen pants) (distant screams)

(Helen gasps)

(Elizabeth chuckles) (flesh squelches)

(Elizabeth giggles)

[Victoria] Suzie, come play on the swing!

Suzie, come play on the swing!

On the swing! (Laughs)

(Victoria cackles)
(eerie music intensifies)

(Victoria cackles)

(Helen screams)

[Rachel] Quickly! Gilbert's
ran away to find his father!

(Victoria roars)

(door slams) (Helen whimpers)

[Gilbert] Mommy?

Oh!

Gilbert!

Oh, my darling boy!

Oh!

Mommy?

Bitch, is it nice to have
[indistinct] in your arms?

Vicky's hungry!

(Helen screams)

(flesh tears) (Helen screams)

(Victoria snarls) (tense music)

(Victoria snarls)

(door slams)

(Helen screams)

(Elizabeth snarls)

(door handle rattles)

(aunties shriek)

Come on!

Come on!

Be a good boy. Wait in there.

Won't be long.

Good God, come on.

(Helen moans)

Come on!

(hand slaps) (Helen groans)

(aunties snarl)

(Victoria shrieks)

(door rattles)

(Helen hums melodically)

Don't worry. We'll be all right!

Have they gone?

I don't know, dear.

(door rattles)

[Victoria] So, you
damn bitch of a lesbian.

Fed up with women, are we?

Going out with our little boys?

And in the parish as well.

Aren't you ashamed, you whore?

Tell me! (Chuckles)

Get the hell out of here.

Go to hell!

[Victoria] Baby!

We have John with us!

Have a little guess what we're going to do

to Gilbert's daddy.

Time's up!

We're going to cut him up alive,

just like that stupid cow of a daughter.

The difference will be that this time,

you'll hear the agonizing
screams and so will Gilbert!

Is that what you want?

I don't believe you!

John is not with you!

So move it!

(Helen chuckles)

[John] Rachel! It's true!

They've killed the priest and taken me!

If you don't open, they're going to kill me!

No.

Not that.

(John sobs)

[John] Please!

Open the door!

I beg of you!

I don't want them to hurt my daddy!

It's not your father, it's just a trick.

How do you know?

I hope so.

[Victoria] If that's the way
you want it. Listen, child!

Listen to what we do to your
father because of that bitch!

(John screams)

(John screams)

(John screams)

God, if you exist, help us.

(John screams)

(John screams)

I There's no John to save the boy I.

J There's no John -

Bloody liars!

(Victoria roars)

(Rachel yelps)

(Victoria barks)

(Rachel grunts)

Holy water only works in the
movies, little horse's ass!

(crucifix thuds) (Victoria groans)

(muffled wind howling)

Do you know what I'm going to do?

No.

I am going out to see what's happening.

You are crazy!

It's been more than an
hour since your wife left!

I can't see her coming back anymore.

She must be dead!

Do you want the same
thing to happen to you?

Is that what you want?

Yes.

If she is dead, it's because my cowardice

runs right through to my backbone.

I have just enough courage
to admit what I am.

And you.

You pathetic excuse for a man.

You hide behind your clerical collar!

You've never been the
man you pretend to be.

(John chuckles)

So I'm going out to find my family.

Excuse me.

(door slams)

(Percival pants)

(Percival grunts)

(Percival pants)

(bell chimes)

All right.

What's going on?

Hm?

Stop drinking.

You are disgusting!

You old gus. Shake the
cobwebs off your arse.

And piss off.

Bastard!

She's right, old man.

Getting drunk won't change anything.

Excuse me.

Getting drunk, as you say,

permits me to suffer
less from my situation,

and if I had more bottles,

which I unfortunately don',

I'd propose

the same remedy for you.

Cheers!

(bottle clunks)

(Fred belches)

(knocking on door)

- Who's there?
- It's John!

Open the door!

(sighs) I'm so glad to see you.

My arse!

Have you seen my wife and son?

No, we've been locked up here for ages,

and I must admit, I thought
only we were left alive.

[Bertha] You didn't find anyone?

No.

No, except the priest. I was
with him and my wife left.

[Bertha] Left? Where?!

I don't know. Somewhere in
the house, looking for Suzie.

To Suzie's health.

You sick bastard!

Heartless bastard!

Keep cool! Can't you
see he's been drinking?

Let him kill him! I beg you!

If you mention my wife
or children once more,

I'll kill you, do you hear, bastard?

I was only joking.

Can I let you go?

Yes.

I'll be all right.

Right.

Let's take stock.

Unless I'm wrong, it's
just the four of us alive.

If there's anybody else,
we've got to find them

and get the hell out of here.

[Fred] But that will be very dangerous.

Listen, we are just
three men and Bertha.

If John found us, it's
because he took a risk.

That's all we can do.

We can't wait here until the end of time.

The end of the time?

(Fred scoffs)

This is the end.

(lock clunks)

(door creaks)

(distant demonic moaning)

This is what we're going to do.

You and Bertha go take
a look in the kitchens.

Fred and I will go to the cellars

to see if anybody's hiding there.

We meet here in 10 minutes.

Okay.

What the hell do you mean, "Okay"?

I don't think it's okay. I
think it's stupid to separate!

Listen. If you've got a
better plan, tell us or shut up.

You want me to go down with Bertha?

I'll leave the kitchens for you and John.

If he feels like strangling you,

I won't be there to interrupt.

Just might be better.
- Okay, okay.

Don't get upset. I was only just saying.

Go on.

And good luck.

(muffled wind howling)

(mouse squeaking)

(candelabra rattling)

What the hell was I doing,
coming to this parish house?

The same as all of us.
Chasing the heritage.

(sighs) I can't see anything.

Can't you put on a light?
- I don't know!

Keep going!

Oh, it smells terrible!

Like a burnt pig.

There is a strange noise here.

[John] Here! The switch!

(switch clicks)

(Bertha screams)

(John screams)

(Bertha screams)

I couldn't do anything.

It came out and I ran away.

I couldn't do anything.

Nothing at all.

Come on, Radu. You can't stay here.

- I couldn't do anything!
- There, there, old man.

We're all in the same boat, you know.

(Radu whimpers)

[Fred] Right. You can
see there's nobody here.

Come on! Let's go upstairs.

[Harvey] Wait a second.

We haven't checked the coal cellars yet.

[Fred] Aren't we the extra eager beaver.

Piss off! We've bloody well looked enough.

I don't think we'll find anybody here.

Just like I was saying!

Oh.

Oh.

Look.

So what? It's just a spider's web.

Oh, nothing.

I just thought the fly defines
our situation perfectly.

Look at it.

The more it struggles,

the more entangled he gets.

Fascinating.

No!

Don't help it.

Its nature.

The fly's destiny.

You mustn't go against it.

Yeah, you'd better forget it.

Come and look here.

If the frame is rusted shut,

we should be able to take the
gate off and get out of here.

[Fred] I don't follow!

It was so easy to get
out by a door or a window

on the ground floor!

You've got a short memory.

When everybody was trying
to save themselves,

Roger tried the front door
and it slammed in his face.

Those monsters have powers
which we don't understand,

but we have to deal with it!

Okay, but why then should it
be different with this place?

Because this is here
and now! We have to try!

If the frame is rotten, it's rotten.

We can always try!

- I'm going out first!
- Wait!

We've got to tell the others first.

What?

You don't like the idea
of me saving my ass first?

That's it.

Well, you're not the bloody boss anymore!

Out I go, with or
without your bloody okay!

As for the others, I don't give a damn!

You are so stupid. You're
too fat to get through there.

Oh, yeah? Wait and see!

Enjoy yourself.

I'm going upstairs.

(Fred grunts)

Harvey!

I'm stuck!

Come back!

Harvey!

Harvey!

(aunties snarl)

I wanna get out!

I wanna get out!

Keep your shirt on, I'm coming.

[Fred] Holy shit!

Get me outta here!
- Okay, but stop screaming!

You want them to hear where we are?

I'd like to see you! Do
you know I'm claustrophobic?

If you think this is funny...

An elephant doesn't try to
go through mouse holes, right?

Just pull! Instead of
meditating on the size of my arse.

It's no use.

Wait!

Don't tell me you're gonna leave me here!

Of course not.

Grab the bars. When I pull, you push.

(both grunt)

[Fred] Shit. Me bloody belly's stuck!

(quirky music) (both grunting)

Come on, you like to see flies trapped,

and now you're in your own web.

[Fred] Fuck you and your
sick attempts at humor!

Help me!

(eerie music)

(aunties snarl)

What's that noise? Did you hear it?

Don't move.

I'll have a look.

(aunties breathing heavily)

That's all we need.

Fred, I have some bad news.

[Fred] What?

Well, Fred, the spider just arrived.

The spider? What the
hell are you talking about?

Harvey?

Harvey!

(aunties breathing heavily)

Holy shit! Will you say something?

Harvey?

Huh?

(fabric tears)

(Victoria snarls)

(Fred screaming)

(Harvey retches) (Fred screaming)

(Fred screaming.

(Fred screaming)

(Fred screaming)

(Harvey splutters)

(Fred screaming)

(flesh cracks and squelches)

(Fred screaming)

(Harvey vomits)

(blood squelches)

(chain clinks) (muffled wind howling)

(Harvey screams)

(aunties snarl)

It's too goddamn much!

You hear me?

You old gargoyles!

I'm going to kill you!

Do you understand?

Kill you!

(aunties breathing heavily)

Yes!

That's right!

Let's sort this out!

Come on!

Come on!

(tense music)

Patience, girls.

The time has come for
Harvey to take care of you.

You're gonna get a test
of your own vile medicine!

Your sick little game is over!

(tense music cont.)

Come on, show yourselves!

You can't escape me now!

(gun firing) (porcelain smashes)

You lousy Frenchman!

[Victoria] You've only
married into the family

and your wife is rotting in the cemetery!

(Victoria laughs)

(Victoria mimics gunfire)

You dare to mock me?

You leprous whore!

(Victoria snarls)

(Harvey screams) (gun fires)

(Victoria cackles) (gun fires)

(Victoria cackles) (gun fires)

(Victoria cackles) (tense music)

(gun thuds)

(Victoria cackles)

(distant metal clanking)

(tense music)

(gun fires) (Harvey grunts)

(Victoria cackles)

(gun fires)

(Elizabeth growls)

(Harvey screams) (gun fires)

(Victoria cackles)

(Harvey screams) (gun fires)

I will win!

(Harvey screaming)

(Harvey screaming)

(ax thuds) (Harvey screaming)

(Victoria cackles)

(Harvey screaming)

(Harvey screaming)

(Harvey screaming)

(Victoria laughs)

I've got to go.

I must go.

I've got to go.

I can't!

No!

(Harvey groans)

(Bertha sobs)

(Harvey groans)

That's it.

That damn box started all this.

And now, we're all going to die.

I've done nothing.

You're the guilty ones.

You.

The Remingtons and the search for money.

For 20 years, you've
been wishing dead them

and yourselves richer.

It's Heaven that sent
that box as a punishment!

Do you hear me?

It's your punishment!

You bloodsucking leeches!

Your punishment!

Punishment, that's it.
Punishment, that's it.

(Victoria cackles)

I have done nothing.

But I must die

with the like of you.

It's unjust.

No.

I'm going to try

to get out of here.

And

when I do,

I'm going to tell everybody that tonight,

all of the Remingtons died!

And were damned!

Do you hear me?

Damned!

Damned!

Damned!

Damned!

(Radu groans)

(glass shatters) (Victoria laughs)

(Victoria laughing)

Come on.

Let's not stay here.

And go where?

They're always there before us.

Look at her.

She doesn't even take notice of us.

She's enjoying herself.

The two of them enjoy a good laugh.

They throw guts around,

like so many slapstick cream pies.

We're just like flies
with our wings torn off.

Little creatures

which can twist and
turn in every direction,

but can't escape their destiny.

I might have an idea.

Come on.

Come with me.

(Victoria snarls)

(Percival breathes heavily)

(Percival gasps)

Peekaboo, Father!

(Percival gasps)

(Percival screams)

You know that we respect you, Percival.

Yes! A man of God isn't just anyone.

Elizabeth wants to torture
you before we kill you.

But I insisted that it be really painless,

because we like you very much, Percival!

Every time you smash a
student's fingers with a ruler,

I say to myself,

"He's a vicious man.

A bad priest."

And we like bad priests.

So...

Pull the trigger.

Why suffer?

Otherwise, it's her way.

And I promise you, your
vocal cords will split!

What do you think of that, Percival?

Don't listen to her.

If you commit suicide, you
know what's waiting for you.

A priest who kills himself!

(Elizabeth laughs)

You want to be damned?

For just a few minutes of
suffering, you save your soul.

No, Percival! Let me look after you.

Be strong, just once in your boring life!

Just once!

But what's she been
telling you, Percival?

It's not her who's going to
have her eyes pulled out,

or her knees broken,

or her stomach eaten out.

It's all right for her.

Horrid sister!

Think about Percival.

I hope you see it all clearly.

She's just waiting for you to play martyr

so she can make a human
hamburger out of you.

Don't let her do it, Percival!

Kill yourself!

After all, you never were a good priest!

No!

Yes!

(gun fires rapidly)

(flesh squelches)

I won! I won! (Laughs)

This is the cause of everything.

Christopher has never forgiven us.

So he sent that,

knowing damn well what would happen.

Because of our greed, we'd all be here

and then we'd all pay.

And if we destroy it?

Yes, I don't know
enough about the occults,

but if a cause is destroyed,
so should be its power!

Let's try.

But I think it would be better if...

What?

If we destroy it in a consecrated place.

I don't know.

It's possible.

Let's try the chapel.

- Yes.
- Come on.

(wind howling)

Oh, no.

Even him!

There's only us left.

You damned monsters.

You even killed a priest!

Damn you!

Do you hear me? Damn you!

Stop it!

We'll be heard!
- I don't give a damn!

You two think you're the strongest!

Well, we will destroy you!

Just like the box you came out of!

(Victoria snarls)

Do you hear me?

(Bertha yelps)

(Bertha sobs)

(Victoria shrieks) (building rumbles)

(door rattles)

What's going to happen now?

You upset them!

That's what!

(Victoria roars)

Here, take it and run to the chapel!

I'll try to slow them down!

(Bertha pants)

John the Coward is not a coward anymore!

Well done, John!

(Victoria grunts wildly)

(bones crack)

(demonic moans)

(pounding on door)

Who's there?

It's Bertha!

Open the door!

Open, please!

No. Enough is enough.

I know who you are and I won't open.

Do you hear me?

Get the hell out of here!

For the love of God, I swear it's me!

Open!

No!

(aunties breathe heavily)

I don't want to die. (Sobs)

Please.

[Gilbert] No! Don't open the door!

No!
- Don't worry, dear.

I'll just open it to check.

No!

Oh, quick! Destroy it now!

(door slams)

(Bertha pants)

- I'm not dead?
- No.

If only to upset them, we're gonna live.

(heavy knocking on door)
(Elizabeth shrieks)

We've got to act quickly!

The door's gonna give in!

What are you going to do?

(Elizabeth grunts wildly)

I'm going destroy this damn thing.

(Elizabeth screams wildly)

Give me a crucifix.

(wood snaps)

(Elizabeth roars)

(door clunks)

It's got... it's got to!

What're you gonna do, you damn
box? What're you gonna do?

(Elizabeth screams)

(crucifix thuds) (Bertha grunts)

(Elizabeth screams)

Quick!

Give me the strength, now!

(Elizabeth screams)

(crucifix clatters)

(Elizabeth groans)

(heartbeat thuds)

(Elizabeth groans)

(Elizabeth shrieks)

Enough!

(muffled wind howling)

Help me.

Please.

(Elizabeth breathes heavily)

(serene music)

I don't understand!

I don't understand!

Oh, goodness gracious! (Sobs)

[Victoria] Inspector, I
find your attitude terrible.

I'm warning you, I have
friends in high places.

Heads will roll.

(serene music cont.)

(Helen screams hysterically)

[Gilbert] Now I know
that God doesn't exist.

Why?

[Gilbert] Because if he did,
he could've stopped all this.

If he had stopped it,

you couldn't have proven
how brave you are.

Nobody could ever prove anything.

The solutions were simply
handed down from above.

See what I mean?

Yes, I think so.

My Mommy, will she be all right?

Yes.

We'll look after her.

(Helen breathes heavily)

(Helen yelps)

(Helen chuckles)

(Helen yelps)

(Helen sighs)

If you want to, you can
stay with me for a while.

If your father and the police agree.

Wow! That's smashing!

(serene music)

(engine humming)

Everything all right, miss?

Of course.

Hurry up!

[Officer] Okay.

We serve pretty good
foods around these parts.

Had a chance to try any yet, miss?

(Bertha snarls)

(Bertha groans)

(Bertha shrieks)

(officer screams) (tires screech)

(thunder claps)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music cont.)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music cont.)

(Bertha cackling)