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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,158
How long are we gonna
be gone, Mom?
2
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,590
Oh, until this thing
blows over, honey.
3
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,633
Your father's wrath
is gonna be just terrible.
4
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,558
Come on, Buck, what's keeping you?
5
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,958
I misplaced my dead bird,
if you don't mind.
6
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,393
Look, we can get
another dog on the road.
7
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,071
I just do not wanna be here when
Daddy finds out the awful truth:
8
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,999
That we can no longer
afford a TV Guide.
9
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,752
He just might run amok again.
10
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:57,556
I think we all remember the great
toilet paper scare of '86.
11
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,553
Where was I?
12
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,035
Well, let's see, '86.
13
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,754
All your friends were
discovering girls, so I believe...
14
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,155
...you were up in your room,
trying to decide...
15
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,112
...which shirt goes
with nothing to do.
16
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,235
You are lucky you weren't here.
17
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:18,831
The market ran out of Aurora white,
and I had to buy the house brand.
18
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,838
I even put it in
the old Aurora wrapping...
19
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,155
...but he knew at first touch.
20
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,231
God, it was terrible.
Him running around...
21
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,715
...with his pants down
around his ankles...
22
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,956
...screaming to the heavens.
23
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,755
That was the last bridge party
I ever had.
24
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,510
They still talk about
his great doodie strike...
25
00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,836
...wherever fine toilet paper is sold.
26
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,078
I hear the sound of a muffler
scraping ground. Dad's home.
27
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,996
What do we do? What do we do?
28
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,509
Just act calm.
29
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,314
I know. We'll put out
an old TV Guide.
30
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,476
Maybe it'll buy us some time.
31
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,238
Maybe we're worried about nothing.
32
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,318
I mean, maybe he'll come home
in a good mood.
33
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,193
Why doesn't the world die?
34
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,476
So far so good.
35
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,959
There was a fire in the mall today.
36
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:25,312
Twenty stores went up, but guess
where they were able to stop the fire?
37
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,149
Yes, the shoe store.
38
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,352
So I don't get any days off,
but I should be raking it in...
39
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,109
...because it's well known women love
to tromp through burned-out malls...
40
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:41,438
...just to buy shoes that used to be cats
from a guy that used to be a man.
41
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,357
All I wanna do is curl up on
the couch with a nice TV Guide.
42
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,753
Oh, man, they put
Starsky and Hutch back on the air.
43
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,797
Finally, my letters mean something.
44
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,994
The little dark-haired one got fat.
45
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,038
Oh, man, that's Roseanne.
46
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,233
What madness is this?
47
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,471
Honey, we have
a confession to make.
48
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:16,593
They raised the cost of heating, and we
can't afford to buy a new TV Guide.
49
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,749
See, he can deal with it.
50
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:33,476
Honey, it'll be okay. We could steal
a newspaper and use their TV section.
51
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,280
Are you insane? It's not the same.
52
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,630
Does a newspaper fit snugly
in your hands?
53
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:41,400
Does it jeer? Does it cheer?
54
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,596
Are there articles about
William Conrad...
55
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,997
...and what he'll be doing on
Circus of the Stars? I think not.
56
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,952
Now, look, for years the only
reason we had heat was for the kids.
57
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,388
Now they're both over 18.
58
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,955
I say, let them freeze.
I want my TV Guide.
59
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:06,036
Al, be reasonable.
It's 79 cents a week.
60
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,629
I'm sorry, honey,
here I thought it was a quarter.
61
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,991
Are you gonna
throw a fit now, sweetie?
62
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,997
Yes, I am.
63
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,630
Well, kick some booty, honey.
64
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:26,070
How long have we got?
65
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:30,068
I'd say five, four...
Come on, kids.
66
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:35,229
Three, two, one.
67
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,796
Oh, mighty one who created
the heavens and the earth...
68
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,718
...and you who
created my wife and kids...
69
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,955
...why doth thou
torment me with a TV...
70
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:58,357
...but not a TV Guide
to enjoy it with?
71
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:02,908
I have nothing.
72
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,156
Nothing, nothing.
73
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,999
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
74
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,998
Excuse me, Mr. Woodpecker...
75
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,269
...but have you seen a middle-aged
shoe salesman...
76
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,755
...with no reason to live?
77
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,393
Jefferson, do you have 79 cents?
78
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,359
Why, you paying off the house?
79
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:29,679
This is for a necessity. Now what do
you say? Do you have 79 cents?
80
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,714
Nope. Nope, nothing
but large-denomination bills.
81
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,229
I did have some quarters
a few hours back...
82
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,954
...but I used them to feed the ducks.
83
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,318
If they eat enough
of them, they sink.
84
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:47,999
Sometimes I name them first.
85
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,553
- It's good you have a hobby.
- Yeah, well, I have no job.
86
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,955
- You gotta fill the hours, you know.
- Yeah.
87
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,675
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's why I do the shoe thing.
88
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,272
Jefferson, let me ask you something,
how come you always have money?
89
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,914
And I just have a 1972 TV Guide...
90
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:11,318
...which, if CBS hadn't brought back
All in the Family, wouldn't be any use.
91
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,551
Well, there's no trick to it, Al.
92
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,513
Did you ever see the ad,
"Madam Zelda can make you rich...
93
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,631
...with your personal
lucky numbers"?
94
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,757
Madam Zelda sends
you lucky numbers?
95
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,072
No. I'm Madam Zelda.
96
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,713
I sell the numbers.
97
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,559
- You?
- Yeah.
98
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,955
How can you take money
from unsuspecting people?
99
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,750
I'm a thief. Love me for what I am.
100
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,111
But this is just between us, right?
101
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,557
I'm a squealer.
102
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,429
Love me for what I am.
103
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,478
Or cut me in.
104
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:58,633
"Mr. Brown, your lucky day
is Wednesday.
105
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,714
Signed, Madam Zelda."
106
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,874
Well, here's this morning's take.
107
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,877
How you doing, Al?
108
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:13,710
How am I doing?
I got two TV Guides, baby.
109
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,477
Yeah. Got one on the table
and one in the bathroom.
110
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:23,231
I'm rich. Oh, God, I've arrived.
You know, I just love the feeling...
111
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,795
...of suddenly being able
to provide for my family.
112
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,434
- So you told them?
- Hell, no.
113
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,995
It's just good knowing
I can provide for them.
114
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,351
- What if they find out?
- How? They're morons.
115
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,798
They might suspect something,
but how are they gonna catch me?
116
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,718
Bark, boy.
117
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,315
- AI.
- You know, I may as well admit it...
118
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,159
...l'm the only smart one
in the family.
119
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,112
I mean, we got a woman so lame...
120
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,709
...that she actually thinks
when I groan during sex...
121
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,990
...it has anything to do with her.
122
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,395
And Bud wouldn't know
the house was on fire...
123
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,716
...if it wasn't on Nick at Nite.
124
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:15,198
And the only reason that Kelly got
a head is to keep rain out of her neck.
125
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,991
Hey.
126
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:29,158
But they are my family,
and I really should tell them...
127
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,193
...because I do love them...
If only they were home.
128
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,795
All right, Al, can it.
129
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,150
We just have
three simple words for you.
130
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,316
We want in.
131
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,750
What's the third word, Mom?
132
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,435
Take Buck for a walk, honey.
133
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,393
Come on, boy, we're going
for a walkie-walkie.
134
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,879
Now, look here, Al.
135
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,196
When I married you
it was for richer or poorer.
136
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,995
Now I thought we would try one,
then the other, and then choose.
137
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,272
Well, I believe we've gone just about
as far as we can with poor.
138
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,756
So if you think that you are
moving on to rich without me...
139
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,030
Without us.
140
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,636
Without me.
141
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:16,078
- then you are cheaper and
stupider than the shoes you sell.
142
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,400
Let me confab with my partner.
143
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,472
No, no, no.
144
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,437
Then they might go tell the cops,
and we could both get in trouble.
145
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,397
Well, you owe me one, honey.
I talked Jefferson into it.
146
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,030
You're in. Actually,
it's a pretty good idea...
147
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,630
...because I'm thinking of expansion.
- What kind of expansion?
148
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,400
The kind of expansion
I'm thinking about will allow me...
149
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,639
...to dress my woman in ermines
and pearls, like she deserves.
150
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,398
And I won't forget you either, Peg.
151
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,512
- Hello.
- Hello.
152
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,913
Madam Zelda Incorporated.
How may the stars help you?
153
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,038
Hello. Lucky days, $2.
154
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,357
Lucky numbers, $5.
155
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:23,314
Or you can get lucky with me for 50.
156
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,557
Well, let me consult my crystal ball.
157
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,989
It seems that your lucky day
is Thursday.
158
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,430
Your husband died on Thursday?
159
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,870
Gee, I'm better than I thought.
160
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,590
The spirits are about to speak.
161
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,031
Your lucky number is C.
162
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,478
This is better than women, D'Arcy.
163
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,989
I mean, we are bigger
than U.S. Steel.
164
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,519
We are not.
165
00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,632
Well, the way the economy's
going we just might be.
166
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,516
I don't like it. We should have kept
it simple. You get in, you get out.
167
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,392
Like sex.
168
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,948
- Yeah.
- You're just mad...
169
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,355
...because my father took
over the operation.
170
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,989
We're making more in a week
than we made in a month.
171
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,395
I'm worried about the attention
we're attracting.
172
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,512
And most of all, I'm worried
about your father. He's changed.
173
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,871
I can't put my finger on it,
but he's different somehow.
174
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:37,231
Let it be noted the stars say
I'm handsomer than yesterday.
175
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,559
Let's get those phones going.
176
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,991
I want to see lines lit.
I want to see people fleeced.
177
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,875
Come on, my little fortune cookies,
Daddy needs a new pair of everything.
178
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,677
- How we doing?
- Everything's fine, but the West Side.
179
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,188
That's okay.
180
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,551
The West Side is Madam Inga's turf.
And you don't wanna mess with her.
181
00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:00,514
Damn Madam Inga and her army
of psychic Swedes.
182
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,790
I want the West Side,
I'll have the West Side.
183
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,754
I'll have all sides.
Inside, outside, East Side, West Side.
184
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,270
Matter of fact, I'll have a hamburger
with a side of onion rings...
185
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,391
...paid for by
the pensions of old ladies.
186
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:16,076
Can I get a "whoa, stealing
old ladies' pensions"?
187
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,952
- Whoa, stealing old ladies' pensions.
- Whoa, stealing old ladies' pensions.
188
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,870
I can't believe your father
has called together...
189
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,435
...the heads of Chicago's five
psychic families.
190
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:38,312
I think the greed has finally
sent him into insanity.
191
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:43,239
You don't talk about family business
in front of strangers.
192
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,072
My father knows what he's doing.
193
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,391
Silence.
194
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,997
Put your hands together
for the sultan of psychics...
195
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:58,670
...the king of clairvoyance,
the Pharaoh of fraud.
196
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,189
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's give him a big welcome.
197
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,836
He's my daddy,
Al "Madam Zelda" Bundy.
198
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,389
You are my people.
199
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,670
I'd like to introduce now...
200
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,599
...the king of the Ouija boards
on the South Side:
201
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,358
Big Bob Barruth.
202
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,108
My friends call me Huggie.
203
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:37,713
And the man who controls the palms on
our North Shore, Zelmo the Toad.
204
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,832
I can kill with my tongue.
205
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,035
And the man who controls
the crystals in the Loop:
206
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:48,028
- Mad Thursday Markowitz.
- Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
207
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,558
And king of the tarots...
208
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,115
...who came all
the way from southern Wisconsin:
209
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:59,189
- Hakbar the Beast.
- I'll paint any car for $19.95.
210
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,390
And last, but not least...
211
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,876
...although by far
the ugliest and hairiest...
212
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,152
...the virtuoso of the crystal ball:
213
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,873
Madam Inga.
214
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:16,272
The spirits tell me you
have not bathed today...
215
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,950
...or yesterday.
216
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,794
Please, you could have heard
that anywhere.
217
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,474
Friends and charlatans...
218
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:31,590
...our city is divided like a pizza
with five different toppings.
219
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:36,271
The only thing holding it together
in a cohesive unit is the cheese.
220
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,472
- Daddy, the crust too.
- Leave Daddy alone, sweetheart...
221
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,591
...he's kingpinning.
222
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,400
So, what I'm trying to tell you is...
223
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,989
...we shouldn't be fighting
each other like jackals...
224
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:53,796
...but instead come together
under a benevolent cheese.
225
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,514
I am that cheese.
226
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,834
Oh, Al, the cutest thing
just happened.
227
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:03,316
And here comes the anchovy
no one wants to touch.
228
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,793
- What is it, Peg?
- Honey, I got the sweetest letter.
229
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:12,198
This lady that I picked a lucky number
for just won $12 at bingo.
230
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,072
Do you know what this means?
231
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:18,313
That in a room full of loons
you still manage to stand out?
232
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,792
No. It means I really do have a gift.
233
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,309
Oh, Al, I've been touched.
234
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,676
Certainly not by me.
235
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,677
Now, I am serious, Al.
236
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,758
Give me your palm.
I'll read your future.
237
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,198
Better give me the other one.
That one says nothing.
238
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:42,514
So what I'd like to do is form a lean,
mean psychic machine...
239
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,399
...with me as your leader
for a mere 50 percent.
240
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,512
- Are you with me?
- This is ridiculous.
241
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,998
I share nothing with you,
you psychic-less shoe salesman.
242
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,158
My gift is real, and so is my curse.
243
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,548
Oh, help me.
244
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,513
Save me, Peg, before the hairs
on her very lip reach out...
245
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,439
...and strangle me like
the mighty octopus.
246
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,469
I'll ask my spirits what to do.
247
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,591
You do that, baby.
248
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,393
In the meantime, Inga,
baby, doll, crone...
249
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,152
...now, this is not an order,
but a mere suggestion.
250
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:22,239
If you don't want in,
then you're free to leave.
251
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,677
Inga...
252
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,636
...you forgot something.
253
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:36,910
It slipped.
254
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,911
You will pay for busting my ball.
255
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,635
May you...
256
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,717
It's too late.
257
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,791
May your wife...
258
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,311
No sense in that.
259
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,838
May your children...
260
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:09,394
Oh, well, I'll think of something.
But cursed you shall be. This I vow.
261
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,475
Anyone else want out?
262
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,510
Good, then it's settled.
263
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,472
Kelly.
264
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,398
It's rolling in.
265
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,511
Curse, my heinie.
266
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:42,478
Can you imagine people in this day and
age still believe that mumbo jumbo.
267
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,191
You know, after I milk Chicago dry,
I'm thinking about heading west.
268
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,472
Yeah, where all a guy needs is guts
and a bad Hungarian accent...
269
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,796
...to fleece the beautiful people.
270
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,958
Al, I'm scared.
271
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,232
You are meddling with powers
which, much like a woman's body...
272
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,749
...you don't understand.
273
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,912
Madam Inga is real.
274
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,270
Didn't you feel her power
when she walked by?
275
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,318
Peg, the only power I sensed...
276
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,990
...was that of the mighty forces
unleashed by beans.
277
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:31,392
But, Daddy, what if her powers are real?
What if she turns one of us into a frog?
278
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,796
You're laughing now.
Let's see how you feel...
279
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,595
...when you've been turned
into a thick-thighed waitress.
280
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,751
And that's just the curse of time.
281
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,758
Wait till Madam Inga's
through with you.
282
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,709
They're magically delicious.
They're magically delicious.
283
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,073
Al.
284
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,232
Al, word's out on the street.
285
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,035
Madam Inga has called together all the
dark forces of Sweden against you.
286
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,595
What's gonna happen? I wake up
one morning owning a Volvo?
287
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,788
Spend the rest of my life as a skier?
288
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,433
Or worse, wake up one morning...
289
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,200
...next to a long-legged Nordic
beauty with big honkers?
290
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,118
Oh, no.
291
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:25,157
Yeah, well, I'm pulling out because
anyone around you is gonna get it.
292
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,029
We're all gonna walk the Earth
forever as undead masseuses.
293
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:30,753
Thank your father, kids.
294
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,996
- Thanks, Dad.
- Thanks, Dad.
295
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,269
Now, what's wrong with you people?
296
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,277
How many times do you
come whining to me:
297
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,391
"Why can't we have a summer home?
298
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,912
Why can't we have a boat?
Why can't we have heat like cavemen?"
299
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,393
Well, now that you're up to your
little heinies in TV Guides...
300
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,875
...and I'm bringing home the bacon,
what do I hear?
301
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,755
"Somebody put a curse on us.
Let's blame Daddy."
302
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,315
Well, there's no
such thing as curses.
303
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,193
This is the 20th century, people.
304
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,868
There's no such thing as curses.
305
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,756
Well, Al, once again
you've enriched our lives.
306
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,393
Thank your father, kids.
307
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,075
- Thanks, Dad.
- Thanks, Dad.
308
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:39,956
Hey, we sent Inga all our money,
against my wishes, by the way.
309
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,752
And the curse should be lifted soon.
310
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,952
lf, in fact, there is
such a thing as a curse.
311
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,994
Dad, what if she never got the money?
312
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,198
Buck has never let us down before.
He won't let us down now.
313
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,392
Here he comes now.
314
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,589
How you doing, Buck?
315
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,438
Did you send the money, boy?
316
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,036
Well, I had to use it for bail.
No one bothered to tell me...
317
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:12,677
...that when humans meet a girl, it's
considered impolite to sniff her butt.
318
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,631
Damn dog.
319
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,552
Well, I guess we're monkeys.
320
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,876
Yeah, big difference.
25687
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