Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,672
Where's Dad? It's almost time.
2
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,792
Well, the shoe store closed
about five minutes ago.
3
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,718
He's gotta count the day's receipts...
4
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,150
...so he should be walking in
any second now.
5
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,555
The day has finally come.
6
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,593
Perhaps the proudest day
in the history of the Bundy household.
7
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,711
I want the whole family
to share in this.
8
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,394
Buck, you ready, boy?
9
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,751
Calm down, Buck.
10
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,472
- Where's Mom?
- She's out shopping.
11
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,989
Good. Then the whole family is here.
12
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,433
Man, what a day.
13
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,437
After all the praying, the dreaming...
14
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,473
...the saving of every penny,
the Bundys have finally arrived.
15
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,159
Today...
16
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,952
...we get cable TV.
17
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,991
Yes. Yes.
18
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,112
- Can I get a "whoa cable"?
- Oh, yeah.
19
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,914
Whoa, cable!
20
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,958
All right. Now, kids,
the cable should come on any minute.
21
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,232
But to make every day our birthdays,
I have a very special gift.
22
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:18,433
May I present the Cadillac
of television controls:
23
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:22,076
The Channelmaster 2000.
24
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,672
Hey, don't touch it, you swine.
It's mine.
25
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,358
Man, this baby can do anything.
26
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,755
Changes channels backwards,
changes them forward.
27
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,996
It's like having a wife
crouching by the TV...
28
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,191
...except I wouldn't mind
sleeping with this.
29
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,793
And it's got a half-a-mile radius.
30
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,676
Why, I could control Marcie's TV
sitting right here by my command post.
31
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,757
Matter of fact...
32
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,714
- Oh, Dad, you shouldn't do that.
- Oh, Dad.
33
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:57,918
All right, enough frivolity.
Kids, man the cable book.
34
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:01,590
I am turning on the TV.
35
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,272
What's this?
36
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,040
It's the Japanese Channel, Dad.
37
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,751
- What's this?
- It's the Polka Channel.
38
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,794
- What's this?
- That's the Stained Glass Network.
39
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,910
There doesn't seem to be much
on cable either.
40
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,394
Kids, fear not.
41
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:25,718
We still have
78 more channels to go.
42
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,548
Well, what's wrong, Dad?
43
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,548
I just never thought I could be
so happy sitting next to you two.
44
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,550
All right, guys, get ready.
45
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,513
In front of us lies
all the entertainment...
46
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,996
...that the great minds
of show business can provide.
47
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,152
Well, Dad...
48
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,555
...you've been sitting there
for 36 hours straight now.
49
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:03,559
I will not give up.
50
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,069
I am paying $60 a month
to be entertained...
51
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:10,319
...and I will be entertained
if I never enjoy another day in my life.
52
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,118
Oh, now, this is better.
53
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,756
Yeah, here's the
Sally Struthers Whining Channel.
54
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,079
Oh, look at the starving children.
55
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:23,113
Boy, man, now we're having fun.
56
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:27,310
And stay tuned for Cagney & Lacey.
57
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,948
Oh, Daddy, I have been so wronged.
58
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,434
You have been so wronged?
59
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,393
Look what I'm spending
60 bucks a month for.
60
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,353
Well, at least l... At least I got this.
61
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,956
Now I feel lucky.
62
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:51,756
Today on the Medical Channel,
Doctor Bob removes an ovary.
63
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,475
Well, you may as well bore me
with your problems.
64
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,908
Okay.
65
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,635
Well, my whole modelling class went
down to be on public-access television.
66
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,434
You know,
for our poise-and-personality tests.
67
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,995
So, what'd you do?
Spin diaphragms on your fingers...
68
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,475
...while singing
"Somewhere in the Night"?
69
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,519
Anyway...
70
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,517
...every girl was supposed
to be on TV.
71
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,712
But did I get a turn?
Ask me if I got a turn.
72
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,036
Ask me. Just go ahead and ask me.
73
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,599
No, I did not.
And you know why?
74
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,473
Because my teacher, Mrs. Jones,
doesn't like me.
75
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,753
Because one day she wore
a pair of jeans that said "Guess"...
76
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,428
...and I guessed size 42.
77
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,950
Instead of giving me a prize,
she cops an attitude.
78
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,878
Anyway...
79
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,512
So every girl got to be on TV...
80
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,870
...but then they ran out of time
before my turn.
81
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,277
Now I don't even have a tape
for when it comes time for my grade.
82
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:57,879
Now, come on, Kel.
83
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,516
There's gotta be plenty of
videotapes of you lying around.
84
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,628
Now, what's wrong with...
85
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:09,594
...the " I can make my dress go this
high" classic from the third grade?
86
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:11,599
Gee, Bud, it's Friday night.
87
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:15,588
Shouldn't you be taking a shower,
getting dressed up and going to bed?
88
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,077
Oh, Daddy, my life is over.
89
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:25,236
I wish I was dead.
What should I do?
90
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,432
Well, honey,
I'm glad you've come to me.
91
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,315
- Because I have plenty...
- Look, Dad. Look. Hooters!
92
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,273
- Where? Where?
- Right there.
93
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,555
That's an elbow, son.
94
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,879
Well, look whose word
you were taking.
95
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,678
Hi, Al.
96
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,158
You know, the weirdest thing's
been happening over at my house.
97
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,796
The channels on the TV
began changing all by themselves.
98
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,479
Would you do me a favour?
99
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,116
Could you turn on the Public Access
Channel? Marcie's gonna be on.
100
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,630
Oh, great, even the old and boring
get on before me.
101
00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,875
Welcome back to
Short-Haired Women in Banking.
102
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:22,232
And now for the question our financial
experts have been dying to ask.
103
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:27,116
How does a short-haired woman
juggle a career, carry a baby...
104
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,915
...and still manage
to sexually satisfy her man?
105
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,836
Well, it's not easy.
106
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,793
Actually my husband has
been feeling a little left out...
107
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,513
...because the baby's coming.
108
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,349
So we've been playing out
my role as Mommy in bed.
109
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:47,553
Sometimes he's a bad boy
and needs a good spanking.
110
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,076
Well, I guess I was wrong.
Marcie's not gonna be on.
111
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,553
As a matter of fact,
he used to have a little problem...
112
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,752
...with, shall we say, hang time.
113
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,272
But I told him not to worry,
it's not him.
114
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,754
"I just have some banking problems
on my mind."
115
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,797
Hey, how'd she get on TV anyway?
116
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,433
It's public access.
117
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:26,235
Anyone with $35 and a pack of lies
to tell about her husband can get on.
118
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,194
- Here we go.
- Can I have $35 to be on TV, please?
119
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,516
Honey, we're not millionaires.
120
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,875
Now, honey,
I know you're disappointed.
121
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,231
But if this counts for anything,
you'll always be my little girl...
122
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,670
...and I'll always have time for you.
123
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,279
Oh, Daddy.
124
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,313
Now that's a hooter.
You see what I mean?
125
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,994
Oh, my gosh.
126
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:03,710
And stay tuned for
The All White Guys Slam Dunk Contest.
127
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,233
Dad, you haven't left the house
in three days now.
128
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,590
Not that it would matter
if you lost your job...
129
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,713
...but it's embarrassing having your
old Dodge parked out front all day.
130
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,274
I mean, what if people
start thinking it's mine?
131
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,112
I am not getting off the couch
until I find something to watch.
132
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,710
Well, there you go,
Roger Ebert's Dance Party.
133
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,518
It's almost time for Kelly's debut
on the Public Access Channel.
134
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,429
Oh, good. That won't bring
any more shame to the family.
135
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,873
What do you think she'll do?
136
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,197
A scholarly discussion
of Ezra Pound's poetry?
137
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,197
Or getting her hair stuck
in her mouth...
138
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,868
...and chasing it around
the way a dog chases its tail?
139
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,752
Like a dog.
140
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,234
Am I on yet? Am I on yet?
141
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,876
- Is that me?
- It's a cartoon, honey.
142
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,591
Oh, it's coming on. It's coming on.
143
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:04,316
Everyone expected a piece of fluff, but
we wanted to do something important...
144
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,875
...something the youth of America
could relate to.
145
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,753
You know, issue stuff.
146
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,672
Today's topic: Cute butts
and the men they're attached to.
147
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,354
Hi, welcome to my show. I'm Kelly.
148
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,551
Now, as you all know,
it costs $35 to put on a show...
149
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:38,072
...so I asked my Dad for the money,
but he's a shoe salesman.
150
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:43,272
So I had to turn to my unemployed
teenage friends for the money.
151
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,238
I just plugged you, Daddy.
152
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,079
Yes, you did, pumpkin.
153
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,149
And now I would like
to introduce my guests.
154
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:55,114
Cyndy, she gave $10. As did Roberta.
155
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:59,996
And Samantha, who's rich because her
dad knocks off convenience stores...
156
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,353
...gave $14.50.
157
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:06,236
And my very special guest,
who gave an eye-popping 50 cents...
158
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,829
...Mr. Vinnie Verducci.
159
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,276
So, what would you like
to talk about, Vinnie?
160
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,235
Well, I'd like to take
the pro or con side...
161
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,112
...whichever is against...
162
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,915
...the enforcement of
motorcycle helmet laws.
163
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,793
I mean, say I pull up to some chick.
164
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:36,915
Now, I'm doing a conservative 75
in a 30-mile-an-hour zone...
165
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:41,557
...so of course I only have seconds
to seduce her with my eyes.
166
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,911
You see this look?
167
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:51,038
How are they supposed to see it
with Tupperware strapped to my head?
168
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:55,035
I'd look like that dork the Rocketeer
for God's sakes...
169
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:59,153
...which, by the way,
was death at the box office.
170
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:03,069
Now, I've fallen on my head
100 times...
171
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:07,558
...and you don't hear me crying,
"I can't think. I can't think."
172
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,715
What were we talking about?
173
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,388
Men's butts.
174
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,829
I'd like to see them try
and get a helmet on my butt.
175
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,312
Thank you, Vinnie.
Your 50 cents is up. Get out.
176
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,475
And now I would like
to introduce our band:
177
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,989
Joanie and the Slashettes!
178
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,078
One, two, three, four.
179
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,157
Soda!
180
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,993
Do you believe that they wrote that
in the elevator coming up here.
181
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,953
The mind wobbles, doesn't it?
182
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:06,433
Okay. Now, as I recall, we were right
in the middle of men's butts.
183
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,477
Cyndy...
184
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,192
...who do you think
has the cutest butt?
185
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,356
I do.
186
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,996
No, we're talking about men's butts.
187
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,758
Mel Gibson.
188
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,474
Lethal Weapon...
189
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,714
Okay. Okay, girls. Let's get serious.
190
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,956
Two, three, four.
191
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,793
Serious!
192
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,875
Which brings us to a tragic story.
193
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,833
A girl... We'll call her Jeannie.
194
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,235
- got a bad perm.
195
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,235
I know that this must be
very hard for you, Jeannie.
196
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,716
Thank you for being here today.
Now...
197
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:54,632
...what went through your mind
when you first saw your perm?
198
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,034
I screamed.
199
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,709
I cried. I ran the gamut.
200
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,673
You poor thing.
201
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,394
Remember, folks,
it's up to you to help.
202
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,990
You can make a difference.
Phone your pledges in now.
203
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,714
Call 555-PERM.
204
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,631
Ladies and gentlemen...
205
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,559
...this could happen to you!
206
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,670
And now another number
from our band.
207
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,636
Two, three, four.
208
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:30,719
Spit!
209
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,634
Makes you think, doesn't it?
210
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,397
Okay, now it's time
for my favourite part of the show.
211
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,797
We're gonna talk about girls
that we don't like.
212
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:50,477
The Vital Social Issues 'N Stuff
with Kelly slut of the week is:
213
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:53,069
Two, three, four.
214
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,157
Slut!
215
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,268
Thank you.
216
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,755
Is Vicki.
217
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:17,115
Now, not only is Vicki too cheap
to give $1.50 to be on the show...
218
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,993
...but she also borrows clothes
and doesn't give them back.
219
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,952
And if she does...
220
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,594
...she doesn't give them back
with the hanger.
221
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,995
- She's trash.
- She's dirt.
222
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,599
She gave me this perm.
223
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,998
So for all these things...
224
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:40,876
...we all give you, Vicki,
a big get-a-yeast-infection salute.
225
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,230
And now on to career talk.
226
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,274
- What?
- Ask me the question.
227
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,675
Oh, right. Say, Kelly...
228
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,792
...we understand that you go
to modelling school.
229
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,958
Well, I'm glad that you
brought that up, Roberta.
230
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,634
My classmates
are a bunch of skanks.
231
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,719
And my teacher stinks.
232
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,071
They wouldn't let me be on TV.
It's because they're jealous.
233
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,589
But I'm on now, aren't I?
234
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,714
Well, I can see by the clock
on the wall that it's...
235
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,349
Five, 10, 15, 20...
236
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,632
But before we go...
237
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,196
...I would like to do a number
with the band that I wrote myself.
238
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,277
Ladies.
239
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,474
Two, three, four.
240
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,232
I'm on TV and you are not
Drop dead, Mrs. Jones
241
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:54,234
Die!
242
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,079
Size 42
243
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,431
Two, three, four.
244
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:14,992
So, what'd you think?
245
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,989
I mean, it was great, right?
246
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,037
Well, honey...
247
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,879
...we're gonna have
a little meeting over here.
248
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,273
Kelly, you go over there.
249
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,148
Now, she tried really hard.
250
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,918
- We can't hurt her feelings.
- Yeah.
251
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,350
We gotta think of something nice
to say to her.
252
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,879
How about, "At least they didn't...
253
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,674
...send the Energizer Bunny
through the show"?
254
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,235
Let's be nice to her this one time.
255
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,793
Now... I know.
256
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,675
Let's go over and say
that we didn't see it.
257
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,431
Honey, we have something to tell you.
258
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,875
Well, I have something to tell you too.
259
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,594
They love me.
I'm gonna be on every week.
260
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,950
So, what were you gonna say?
261
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,636
Dad's dramatic reading in a pathetic
attempt to get on Kelly's show.
262
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,637
Take six.
263
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,476
Thank you, Daddy. Thank you.
264
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,875
Honey, now to help you choose...
265
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,640
...do you think I should do
"The Girl from lpanema" again?
266
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,717
No. Please, no, Daddy.
267
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:24,955
Now, listen, I appreciate
whatever it was that you were doing...
268
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,550
...but the station wants a show with me
and the girls. And I'm really having fun.
269
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,478
Why can't you
just be proud of me?
270
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,719
Well, I am proud of you, pumpkin.
271
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,798
I hope the show does even better
so that I can be more proud of you.
272
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,955
Little untalented and ungrateful
flash in the pan.
273
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,151
Out of the way!
274
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,428
Oh, boy, that was painful.
275
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,835
I'm glad I don't have
to go through that again.
276
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,152
Kel...
277
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:37,030
...you gotta picture the whole
thing in a pair of Speedos.
278
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,074
That's what we think.
279
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,909
Tell us what you think on the subject.
Briefs or boxers?
280
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,953
Don't let it be his decision.
281
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,553
Dad, it's been three weeks
and Kelly's show is still on.
282
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,239
I think it's taken off.
283
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,433
Can it be that we were wrong?
Can this be a success?
284
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,154
Well, son, I don't know anything
about TV...
285
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,430
...don't know anything
about the world...
286
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,837
...don't know anything
about Siegfried & Roy's home life.
287
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,675
But I do know that Kelly is a Bundy.
288
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,714
And there's no way in the world
a Bundy will succeed at anything.
289
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,912
Does that make you feel better, son?
290
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,915
Oh yeah, Dad. I'm high as a kite now.
291
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:30,116
Good. Because any time now, she's
gonna come through that door crying:
292
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,791
"Daddy, Daddy, it's all over.
People realize my show stinks.
293
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,150
I should have had you on.
294
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:42,595
Only you, the mighty duke of Earl,
could have saved my show.
295
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,674
But now it's too late and I failed."
296
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,069
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
297
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,633
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
298
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,116
Well, pumpkin,
what could have happened?
299
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,069
They contacted me
down at the station.
300
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,432
And?
301
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,070
A real network wants
to put my show on prime time.
302
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,077
- I'm going to Hollywood!
- What?
303
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,350
- Yes! Yes!
- Hollywood?
304
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,679
Get on out of here!
23863
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof