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00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:04,214
Julie. What?
2
00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:05,915
Did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Jerry
3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,183
and my Aunt Jewel?
4
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:10,720
Uncle Jerry and Aunt
Jewel, isn't that cute?
5
00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,789
See, they were
married for 40 years.
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00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,691
And they decided to go
on a second honeymoon.
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00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,193
And Uncle Jerry said,
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00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:18,528
"Let's go back to the place
we had our first honeymoon.
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00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,030
Wouldn't that be romantic?"
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00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,965
So they go back to the
same hotel they went to
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00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:24,001
on their first honeymoon
40 years before,
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00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:25,969
and they take the same
room. Isn't that great?
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00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,103
Adorable.
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00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:29,138
And when they get into
the room Aunt Jewel says,
15
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:32,309
"Yeah, you remember what you
did 40 years ago, the first thing?
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00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,277
"Gave me a little
kiss on the forehead,
17
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,378
go ahead do it again."
18
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:37,613
So he kisses her
on the forehead.
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00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,215
Then she said,
"Yeah, you remember
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00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:40,450
the second thing you did?
21
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,318
You held my hand. Do it again."
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00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:44,154
So he holds her
hand. Then she said,
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00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,155
"Yeah, you remember
that third thing you did?
24
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:49,292
Yeah, you gave me a little
bite on the neck. Do it again."
25
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,784
He said, "Wait a
second, I'll get my teeth."
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00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,033
Welcome Back,
Kotter is recorded live
27
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,424
before a studio audience.
28
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:09,512
♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:13,182
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
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00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:15,385
♪ Welcome back ♪
31
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:20,290
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
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00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,325
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
33
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:24,527
♪ Since you hung around ♪
34
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,796
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
35
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,265
♪ And they've turned around ♪
36
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:31,368
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
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00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:32,935
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
38
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♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
39
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,273
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
40
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:39,409
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
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00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,577
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
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00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,847
♪ Welcome back ♪
43
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,748
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
44
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♪ Welcome back ♪
45
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And so, with the
fall of Czar Nicholas
46
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and the rise of the
socialist proletariat.
47
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:19,215
The Russian revolution
had come to a close.
48
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:20,417
The end.
49
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:28,747
Oh, a truly inspiring
lesson, Mr. Kotter.
50
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,796
Where did you
learn all that stuff?
51
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,164
Simple Arnold,
52
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:37,967
I saw Doctor Zhivago four times.
53
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:40,792
That's so funny.
54
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,045
I'm sorry I'm late.
55
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,749
Vinnie, that's the bell. You
just crossed over the line
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00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:55,819
from late to absent.
57
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:59,789
It's lunchtime, hey. I hope
you got a good excuse.
58
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,024
Hey, Vinnie.
59
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:04,728
Hey, Vinnie, come
on. Don't worry about it.
60
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,163
I can say a note
for any occasion.
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00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,732
You see, I got me this
new gimmick, Vinnie.
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00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,167
All my notes are in verse.
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00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,302
Hey, listen to this.
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00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,005
Roses are red, Violets are blue.
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00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,541
I been home two
days With the Asian flu.
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00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,076
Huh?
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00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,077
Terrific?
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00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:23,179
I got me a future in poetry.
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00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,949
Epstein, I don't think
Rod McKuen is worried.
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00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,351
Hey. Hey, Freddie. Yeah.
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00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,020
You got that note I sold you,
uh, for your science class?
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00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,122
Oh, yeah.
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00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:33,845
Listen to this.
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00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,929
"To my dearest science teacher.
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00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:44,567
Please, forgive me for
missing Your lecture on mold.
76
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:49,461
But I was home sick
With a bad head cold."
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00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:57,147
You guys got any notes
for sick grandmothers?
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00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:58,948
I just got back
from the hospital.
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00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,251
My grandmother,
she's really sick.
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00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,519
Oh, Vinnie.
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00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:06,656
I'm so sorry.
82
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,657
How old is she?
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00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,959
Eighty-seven.
84
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,728
Eighty-seven.
85
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,485
Tsk, tsk. Still a young woman.
86
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,102
Hey, man, what she got?
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00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,859
I think she's just
got a bad case of old.
88
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:25,941
Hey, Vinnie, who's
to say what's old?
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00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:27,877
I mean, your grandma
might pull through.
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00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,546
I read about a guy
from South America
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00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,981
who's a 130 years old.
92
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:35,473
He lives in a hut he built
out of his own kidney stones.
93
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,756
But, I think she's gonna die.
94
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,624
I mean... I mean,
nobody has ever died
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00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:42,992
on me before, Mr. Kotter.
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00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,818
I mean, they can't do
that. I'm Vinnie Barbarino.
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00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,200
Vinnie, look, I mean, I
know it's hard for you,
98
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,702
but it's hard for everybody.
99
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,704
Death is just a part of life.
100
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:57,673
And we've all gotta
learn to accept it.
101
00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:58,908
All right, look,
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00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,411
maybe you'll feel better
if we talked about it.
103
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:05,470
Hey, Vinnie,
Mr. Kotter is right.
104
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,484
It's something that you...
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00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:10,920
That you just gotta accept.
106
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,089
You've learned to
accept that, Freddie?
107
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,057
Oh, yeah.
108
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:17,616
As long as it's somebody else's.
109
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,364
Thank you, Albert Schweitzer.
110
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,733
What do you think
about the subject, Arnold?
111
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:28,059
Personally, I'm against it.
112
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,776
Yeah, well, I don't
worry about death.
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00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,499
I got a note for wherever I go.
114
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,982
Here's an interesting question.
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00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,685
What do you guys think happens
to somebody after they die?
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00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:47,156
Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh!
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00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,348
Oh, oh. I think...
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00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:54,719
that death is kind of like
Miss Fishbeck's English class.
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00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,570
Very, very boring.
120
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,872
But, I figure we're all
coming back anyway.
121
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,374
And when I come back,
122
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,976
this time I'm
coming back taller.
123
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,613
Do you believe in, uh,
reincarnation, Arnold?
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00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,938
No, I just believe
in being taller.
125
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,720
With my luck, if I
got reincarnated,
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00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,423
I'd come back as Mr. Woodman.
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00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,825
How can you guys talk about
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00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:24,494
that kooky stuff
at a time like this?
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00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,195
I mean, this is serious.
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00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,620
A Catholic is dying.
131
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,368
I'm sorry, Vinnie. We're
just kidding around.
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00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:36,272
Hey, Mr. Kotter, why do you
suppose people gotta die?
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00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,140
Well, Arnold,
throughout history,
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00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,009
the great
philosophers, thinkers,
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00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,844
they've all pondered
that question.
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00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:44,547
Did they ever come
up with an answer?
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00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,971
Probably. They're all dead.
138
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,786
Horshack, people gotta die
139
00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,456
'cause that's the
way God likes things.
140
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,192
I mean, he works
in mysterious ways.
141
00:06:56,216 --> 00:07:01,319
Oh, you mysterious guy, you.
142
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:10,005
Yet if we all live forever, you
know what that would mean?
143
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,275
Yeah, it would mean you
guys will spend 200 years
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00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:13,998
in the 11th grade.
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00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,781
You know what they say,
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00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:21,473
"Once you're dead,
life ain't worth living."
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00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:26,288
Mr. Kotter, I wa... I wanna
ask you something. All right?
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00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,181
I mean, have you
ever lost anybody?
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00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,494
Yeah.
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00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,530
I lost my uncle Manny.
Somebody I really love.
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00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,666
He used to come over to
my house every Saturday.
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00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,968
He'd always have something
for me. A toy, a present.
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00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,536
Always have a
pocket full of change.
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00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,571
"Come here, Gabey.
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00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,339
What do you need? A
quarter, here you go."
156
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,841
And always yell at my mother,
she would baby me a little bit.
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00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,810
"What are you doing,
Esther? Leave him alone.
158
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,712
"He doesn't need his
earmuffs. It's August.
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00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,213
Let him go outside."
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00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:53,982
Then he'd spend the afternoon
losing to my father at pinochle.
161
00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:57,086
He always lost to
my father at pinochle.
162
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,221
Then one Saturday,
he didn't show up.
163
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,757
I asked my mother, I
said, where's Uncle Manny?
164
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,893
She said that he was
sick in the hospital.
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00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:07,029
Did he have any
last words to you?
166
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,299
Yeah. He said,
"Gabey, come here.
167
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,667
"I got something to tell you.
168
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:13,736
"I didn't say this for 40 years.
169
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,294
Your father cheats at pinochle."
170
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:23,379
I'll never forget my
grandfather's last words.
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00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,914
Beautiful.
172
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:30,608
He said, "Nurse. Ooh. Ooh, ooh"
173
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,320
Oh!
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00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,703
Mr. Kotter, if your uncle,
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00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,838
when he was like that,
when he was sick like that.
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00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,941
If he had wanted you
to do something special,
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00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,043
would you have done it?
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00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,247
Sure, I mean, if I could've.
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00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:59,482
Oh, no. That's
what I was afraid of.
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00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:00,783
Now, I guess I gotta do it.
181
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,084
Do what?
182
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,719
You see, the whole time
183
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,488
my mother was
pregnant with me, right,
184
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,223
well, my grandmother
gave up totally
185
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,180
on her ever becoming a nun.
186
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:15,097
I think that that
was realistic, Vinnie.
187
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,966
And my grandmother,
she would always say...
188
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,834
She'd say, "Vincenzo,
189
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:24,474
I would have die a happy woman
if you would become a priest."
190
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:27,276
That's a rough one.
191
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,945
My grandmother
said she'd die happy
192
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,813
if I just keep outta jail
193
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:33,683
and never get tattooed.
194
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,484
Vinnie, you gotta
be fair to yourself.
195
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:38,053
You got a right to be
whatever you wanna be.
196
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:44,327
I'm sorry. I don't
mean to laugh.
197
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,817
But you, a priest?
198
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,732
You, a priest?
199
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,233
Horshack.
200
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,325
Sorry, Father Vinnie.
201
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:01,544
Hey, hey, hey. Come on, Vinnie.
202
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,412
All right, all right.
All right, all right.
203
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,780
Let's look at this situation
204
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:09,252
with a little bit
of cool and logic.
205
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,387
You got as much
chance being a priest
206
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,855
as I do getting a lead
207
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,599
in the school production
of Snow White.
208
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,994
Yeah, and Freddie
was the best one
209
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:21,230
who read for the part.
210
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:24,934
But me and Horshack,
see, we're still up for dwarfs.
211
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:28,059
Yeah, guess who's
gonna play Dopey?
212
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,883
If I was casting, I would
have a rough time choosing.
213
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,847
Now, wait a minute.
Just wait one minute.
214
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,783
You guys, you think
that, uh, I ain't holy enough
215
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,050
to become a priest.
216
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:44,420
Right.
217
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:47,256
Vinnie, not everybody
is cut out to be a priest.
218
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,893
Oh, yeah? Well, I wanna
tell you all something.
219
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:54,530
Up all your noses
with rubber ho...
220
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:57,722
Oh, no. No, no.
221
00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:01,092
Frederick.
222
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,807
Arnold.
223
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:05,908
Juan.
224
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,010
My sons.
225
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,068
I forgive you.
226
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,975
Even though you're all punks.
227
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,866
Kotter.
228
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,088
I, uh...
229
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,072
I guess you've heard the latest,
230
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:40,175
Barbarino has decided
to become a priest.
231
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:45,169
He, uh, just went downstairs
to bless Epstein's gym locker.
232
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,272
Is that a scream?
233
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,723
You're not laughing,
Kotter, what's the matter?
234
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,458
I was just thinking
about my uncle Manny.
235
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:59,728
Why? Does he owe you money?
236
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,364
No, no. He died when I was 15.
237
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,599
Well, listen to this,
Kotter, this'll cheer you up.
238
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:06,769
Today, Barbarino came up to
me, and he told me he loved me.
239
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:07,770
Me.
240
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:10,261
Old man Woodface.
241
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:12,863
Ah, the kid's a scream.
242
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,847
You're still not
laughing, Kotter.
243
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,882
Vinnie's had a rough
time lately, Mr. Woodman.
244
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,117
His grandma died last week,
245
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,352
and she always wanted
him to be a priest.
246
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,721
Well, of course I'm, uh,
247
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,145
sorry to hear about
his grandmother.
248
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:30,548
Are you sure she's dead?
249
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,531
What kind of question is
that? Of course she's dead.
250
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:36,932
I'm sorry, Kotter, I had to ask.
251
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,301
I haven't forgotten
last semester.
252
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,805
Epstein's grandmother
died three times.
253
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,976
I, uh...
254
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,546
I still remember the
note that he turned in.
255
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:54,984
Violets are blue, Roses are red.
256
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,408
I'm sorry to announce
My grandmother's dead.
257
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:02,747
Epstein.
258
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:08,430
Mr. Woodman, do you
ever think about death?
259
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,022
Sure, every time I walk
into your classroom.
260
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,837
Serious, Mr. Woodman,
like, I don't know what I'd do
261
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,972
if something
happened to my wife.
262
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:19,875
How do you feel when you lose
somebody that's close to you?
263
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,577
I don't know.
264
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,701
Nobody's close to me.
265
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:31,053
But, uh, you know,
Kotter, most people...
266
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,588
hope they go fast.
267
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,957
Not me.
268
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,781
I wanna linger.
269
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:42,687
I wanna be a burden to
others as long as I can.
270
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,277
I love you, Mr. Woodman.
271
00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:57,621
I tell you, he's a
scream, this kid.
272
00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:01,250
Hiya, Vinnie, how you doing?
273
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,141
Oh, hello, Mr. Kotter.
274
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,191
I didn't see you at this
morning's prayer meeting
275
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:10,548
in Home Economics.
276
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:19,334
You know, Mr. Kotter,
prayer is good for you.
277
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,470
Oh, I know that, Vinnie. I know.
278
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:22,772
I prayed all morning.
279
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:26,142
The whole time I was on
the subway, coming to work.
280
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,876
I prayed that we get to my stop
281
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,435
before the two guys who were
kicking the conductor notice me.
282
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:35,073
That's funny.
283
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,688
Mr. Kotter,
284
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,188
the reason I'm
here is to talk about
285
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,124
yesterday's quiz
you flunked me in.
286
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,247
I forgive you.
287
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,451
Don't forgive me,
Vinnie, okay? Just study.
288
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:52,334
Mr. Kotter, the
Lord is my shepherd.
289
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:53,825
Do sheeps study?
290
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,437
You look confused.
291
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,087
Mr. Kotter,
292
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:14,023
have you had any
religious training?
293
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,457
Oh, sure, Vinnie.
294
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:19,395
I'm a member of the church
of the Seventh-day Opportunist.
295
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,530
We believe that after
you die, you return to Earth
296
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,154
as an aluminum-siding salesman.
297
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,036
Look, Vinnie, you're
going overboard
298
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,370
with this whole thing.
299
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:29,838
Mr. Kotter, I've
got a great idea.
300
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:30,940
Why don't you just read
301
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,875
some of these
pamphlets I have here?
302
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:36,478
You never know when he
is going to ask questions.
303
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,781
Vinnie, why don't you study
your social studies book?
304
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:41,238
You never know when
I'm gonna ask questions.
305
00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:47,156
"Heaven on $5 a Day."
306
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,847
"Judgment Day and What to Wear."
307
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,185
"Sermons for the Shower."
308
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,068
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
309
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:02,860
Get ready for steady Freddie.
310
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,143
Just... Yeah, where did I...
311
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,845
It's the kid's turn.
The kid is up here.
312
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:13,103
Arnold, I love you.
313
00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:17,987
Arnold.
314
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:20,021
Hi, Vinnie. Come on, Arnold.
315
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:21,824
I said I love you.
316
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:24,292
Bring home the bacon.
317
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:27,295
Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh!
318
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:31,133
Horshack, I'm talking
to you. I said I love you.
319
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,190
I love you.
320
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:42,500
Oh?
321
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:45,870
You do?
322
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:50,352
Well, I guess, that's nice.
323
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:51,519
As you know, Vinnie,
324
00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:55,557
I've always held you
in the highest regard.
325
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:58,427
Boy, it's like
murder around here
326
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:01,419
to try to give someone
a religious experience.
327
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,200
Oh, Frederick, Juan.
328
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,869
You shouldn't be
wasting your money
329
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:09,004
on idle games of chance.
330
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,928
You should give it to the poor.
331
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:14,643
Give our money to the poor?
332
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,012
Yes.
333
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,770
I don't know if you've
heard it, my man.
334
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,440
But we am the poor.
335
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,726
Frederick,
336
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:35,331
there are people a lot
less fortunate than you.
337
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:36,698
Yeah, like you.
338
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:40,936
You're nuts, baby. You're crazy.
339
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,628
It's for-for, da-da
time, Vin-Vin.
340
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,143
Ah, Mr. Kotter, Mr. Kotter.
341
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:51,580
Listen, may I use your
classroom to give a little talk today?
342
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,882
It's entitled, "Fear Not When
You Walk With the Lord."
343
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:58,153
Or, "Stay Off Flatbush
Avenue After 11:00."
344
00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:00,122
Vinnie, I'm gonna give
a little talk of my own.
345
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,424
It's entitled: "Yea, Though
I Walk Through the Valley
346
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:06,495
of the Shadow of Social
Studies, I Learn Nothing."
347
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,196
All right, all right, all right.
348
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,866
Then how about just letting me
get up in front of the classroom
349
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,856
and try to heal Horshack?
350
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,272
Heal Horshack? Yes.
351
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:19,230
Where would you start?
352
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,411
Now, boys...
353
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,803
Are we still on for after
school, huh, Vinnie Pooh?
354
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:31,853
Love and peace, love
and peace, love and peace.
355
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:35,090
Now, listen, love...
The usual place,
356
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,960
behind the billboard
on 84th Street.
357
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:42,787
Perhaps, you have not
heard, you brazen young hussy.
358
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:53,509
But you are speaking
to Father Vinnie Pooh.
359
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,066
All right, will you guys
just get outta here?
360
00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:00,382
I mean, my sons.
361
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,651
My sons, what I'm
trying to do here is just...
362
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:07,356
Spread a little goodwill on
a new member of my flock.
363
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,813
♪ Crock of ages... ♪
364
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:17,766
♪ Let me hide myself In thee ♪
365
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,668
Listen, Bambi, I mean...
366
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:24,539
I mean, this sort of behavior
is entirely out of the question.
367
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,632
I can't go with you
this afternoon. I can't.
368
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,112
You're breaking our date
369
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:33,181
so you can go out
with Dolores again.
370
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:36,640
How could you dump
me for a... A Leo?
371
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:42,191
Hey, I don't go out
with nobody called Leo.
372
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:46,328
And bless you.
373
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,751
May you walk in peace.
374
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,300
I can't take it.
375
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,536
I just can't take it.
376
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,972
I can't take it.
377
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,273
Vinnie, how about you come in
378
00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:00,008
and take 40 minutes
of social studies?
379
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,877
Come on, let's go.
380
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,379
I try, Mr. Kotter, I really do.
381
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:04,546
I mean, in the morning,
382
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:07,116
when I'm eating my
oatmeal, I give thanks.
383
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:11,053
Even though this
morning, it was too lumpy.
384
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,787
Obviously, the
work of the devil.
385
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:14,211
Yes.
386
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,659
When I come to school
387
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:20,261
and I see somebody
like Bambi, right?
388
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:21,964
Or Kiki Cornberg.
389
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,998
With those tight jeans
390
00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:25,934
and that little patch
on the back that says,
391
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,336
"Have a nice day."
392
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:31,740
I fall apart. I just fall apart.
393
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,342
Vinnie,
394
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:36,545
you weren't cut
out to be a priest.
395
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,547
Come on, my son,
let's go to class.
396
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,014
All right.
397
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:48,156
Brother Vinnie.
398
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:51,960
Brother Horshack,
Brother Epstein and I
399
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,229
have decided to join you.
400
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,853
Yes, Vinnie. We all believe.
401
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,001
And we're gonna testify.
402
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:02,526
I said, we're gonna testify.
403
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,674
Yes.
404
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:09,678
Brother Horshack, you got
any... Any... Any testimony?
405
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:10,879
Oh, I got testimonies.
406
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:11,913
Yes.
407
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,483
I see this. I said, I see this.
408
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:15,617
What do you see?
409
00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:17,786
I see it with my own
two eyes. I've seen.
410
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:21,823
I've seen Brother
Vinnie and Betty Prevetty
411
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:24,793
behind the stairwell
at Buchanan. I seen it.
412
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:27,363
Sinner, sinner, sinner.
413
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:30,165
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
414
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:32,934
I get your point. All right?
415
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,771
So I ain't so good
at being holy.
416
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,272
Wrong, Vinnie.
417
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,308
You're trying too
hard to be holy.
418
00:21:40,332 --> 00:21:42,277
Look, everybody here
knows you're upset.
419
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,746
And what your friends, I think,
420
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,180
are trying to show you, is that
421
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:47,282
you can't go on living
someone else's conception
422
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,384
of what your life should be.
423
00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:51,220
Hey, look, I love
my uncle Manny.
424
00:21:51,244 --> 00:21:53,088
But just because he
died, that didn't mean
425
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:56,925
I wanted to become
a bad pinochle player.
426
00:21:56,949 --> 00:22:00,495
But what about my grandmother?
May she rest in peace.
427
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:03,465
Vinnie, it's hard to lose
somebody you love.
428
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:06,001
But you just gotta go
on and live your own life.
429
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,670
You really think
that it would be okay
430
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:09,704
for me not to become a priest?
431
00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:12,841
Mm-hm.
432
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:16,144
Bambi, I'm coming, Bambi.
433
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,881
Oh, no. Oh, no.
434
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:20,281
My mother's gonna be so upset.
435
00:22:20,305 --> 00:22:21,585
Hey, Vinnie.
436
00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:26,221
I got a note for her.
437
00:22:26,245 --> 00:22:27,722
All right.
438
00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:30,959
Hey, Mr. Kotter, I think
you better sign it, you know.
439
00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:32,861
I mean, like, I would've
signed your own name
440
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:35,330
but, uh, I need a
little more experience
441
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,853
forging your signature.
442
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,725
Sit down. Okay,
yeah, I'm... Sit down!
443
00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,042
"Dear Mrs. Barbarino.
444
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:48,910
They were shocked
When you had a son
445
00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:52,614
Because that meant
You could not be a nun.
446
00:22:52,638 --> 00:22:54,349
I hope you won't
mind this In the least,
447
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:57,285
but your son, Vinnie,
Will not be a priest."
448
00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:58,554
All right.
449
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:01,857
"Signed, Epstein's teacher."
450
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,992
All right, man.
451
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:14,068
Did I ever tell you about,
uh, my uncle Morris,
452
00:23:14,092 --> 00:23:16,538
who was kind of,
you know, thrifty?
453
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:17,940
Uncle Thrifty Morris.
454
00:23:17,964 --> 00:23:19,240
Right. Good. Okay.
455
00:23:19,264 --> 00:23:20,976
Now, one time,
Uncle Thrifty Morris
456
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,844
and two of his friends
were sitting around,
457
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:24,646
discussing how much
money they'd give
458
00:23:24,670 --> 00:23:26,714
to various religions,
charities, you know.
459
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,984
And the first guy says, "Well,
when I get all my money,
460
00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:30,885
"I draw a line down
the center of the floor,
461
00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:32,954
"I throw my money up in the air.
462
00:23:32,978 --> 00:23:34,555
"What comes down
on the right side
463
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:35,857
"I give to the Lord.
464
00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:38,092
On the left side, that's
what I keep for myself."
465
00:23:38,116 --> 00:23:39,961
Good. Second guy says,
466
00:23:39,985 --> 00:23:41,997
"I take all my money,
I throw it up in the air.
467
00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:43,832
"What comes down
heads, I give to the Lord,
468
00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:46,067
tails, I keep for myself."
469
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,202
Another good one.
470
00:23:47,226 --> 00:23:49,605
That was good. Now,
Uncle Morris says,
471
00:23:49,629 --> 00:23:52,607
"I take my money, I
throw it up in the air.
472
00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:56,444
What stays in the
air, I give to the Lord."
473
00:23:56,468 --> 00:24:01,271
That's what I give...
474
00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:15,097
♪ Welcome back ♪
475
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:18,633
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
476
00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:20,836
♪ Welcome back ♪
477
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:25,740
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
478
00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:27,776
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
479
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,978
♪ Since you hung around ♪
480
00:24:30,002 --> 00:24:32,247
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
481
00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,716
♪ And they've turned around ♪
482
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:36,819
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
483
00:24:36,843 --> 00:24:38,386
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
484
00:24:38,410 --> 00:24:40,622
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
485
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,724
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
486
00:24:42,748 --> 00:24:44,860
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
487
00:24:44,884 --> 00:24:47,028
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
488
00:24:47,052 --> 00:24:49,297
♪ Welcome back ♪
489
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:51,199
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
490
00:24:51,223 --> 00:24:53,601
♪ Welcome back ♪
491
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,871
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
492
00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:57,972
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
493
00:24:57,996 --> 00:25:00,442
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
494
00:25:00,466 --> 00:25:02,410
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
495
00:25:02,434 --> 00:25:04,713
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
496
00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:06,514
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
497
00:25:06,538 --> 00:25:08,538
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
34137
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