Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:06,549
Julie, I ever tell you
about the time I visited
2
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:08,585
my uncle Moe
Kotter in the hospital?
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:11,121
No, why don't you
tell me about the time
4
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,856
you went to visit
your Uncle Moe Kotter
5
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,958
in the hospital?
6
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:16,893
I would be delighted to.
7
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,361
Good.
8
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:19,963
See, he was in an oxygen tent.
9
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:22,232
And I went to see him and
he looked up at me and said:
10
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,441
What did that mean?
11
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,876
That's what I asked my aunt.
12
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,978
I said, What is
he trying to say?
13
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:36,780
She said, "He's saying
'Air hose, dummy,
14
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:40,083
'you're stepping
on the air hose.'"
15
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,552
Welcome Back,
Kotter is recorded live
16
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,053
before a studio audience.
17
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:54,697
♪ Welcome back ♪
18
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:58,434
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
19
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,670
♪ Welcome back ♪
20
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:05,508
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
21
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,677
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
22
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,813
♪ Since you hung around ♪
23
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:12,048
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
24
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,251
♪ And they've turned around ♪
25
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,519
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
26
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,355
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
27
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,523
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
28
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,592
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
29
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,627
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
30
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,830
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
31
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:29,065
♪ Welcome back ♪
32
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,168
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
33
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:33,658
♪ Welcome back ♪
34
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,323
All right, all right.
35
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:57,427
Test time, test time.
36
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,728
All right, everybody,
37
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,664
get your red-hot test.
38
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,900
What's that you say,
you're not satisfied?
39
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,035
You say you want
more for your money.
40
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,738
All right, I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
41
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,873
With each and every
test comes a coupon
42
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,509
entitling the bearer
to a 5-pound wedge
43
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:16,645
of mozzarella cheese.
44
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:19,248
This is the cheese that
you hold up to the light
45
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,651
and you see what
Little Willie saw
46
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,019
behind the barn door.
47
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:26,723
Take a test then pass the rest.
48
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,558
Take a test then pass the rest.
49
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,293
Hey, Mr. Kotter, mine's blank.
50
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,350
Me too.
51
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,967
Oh, yeah, this is one
test I think I can pass.
52
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,769
Hey, they're all blank.
53
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,760
Mine has a little note attached.
54
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,809
"Dear Mr. Kotter,
55
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:50,313
"As usual, by the
time I got around
56
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:53,516
"to mimeoing the
test for your class,
57
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:57,342
the mimeo machine
broke down." Oh!
58
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,083
"Sincerely, Mrs. Bazoodi.
59
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,797
"P.S.
60
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,666
I think I love you."
61
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,250
Oh, oh, oh!
62
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,871
Mr. Kotter, you
devil. Mr. Kotter.
63
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:18,808
Hey, hey, I hardly
know Mrs. Bazoodi.
64
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,710
She's the one
with the bazoodies.
65
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:28,217
All right, all right. I got
bad news for everybody:
66
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,019
no test today.
67
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,079
You promised.
68
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,995
All right. Look, come on,
let's get to work, okay?
69
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,696
I wanna show you
about the coastline
70
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,864
of southern United States.
71
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,488
We have a point...
72
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,705
I don't believe this.
73
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,908
Two months ago, I asked
Mr. Woodman for a new map.
74
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,275
You know what he told me?
75
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:56,546
He said I should pick
one up at the gas station.
76
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,515
Mr. Kotter, it's time that you
and me did a little business.
77
00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:02,885
You need supplies, and you need
money. Well, we can raise money.
78
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,188
There's plenty of ways to
raise money. For instance...
79
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:07,990
Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh!
80
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,859
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
81
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,250
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
82
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,387
Ooh!
83
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,770
I got it. I got it.
84
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,262
Hey, kids, let's put on a show.
85
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:29,112
How 'bout a car wash?
86
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,837
I think we could raise
extra money on the hubcaps.
87
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:37,454
Come on, we... We need
an idea with a little class.
88
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:40,946
Class. Hey, I could sell kisses.
89
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,830
And that's just for openers.
90
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,699
All right, that's enough.
91
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:50,966
That's enough, Vinnie.
92
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:55,738
I got it. Hey, kids,
let's put on a show.
93
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,362
Hey, I got an
idea. Listen to this.
94
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,611
I.S.B.
95
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,513
I.S.B.?
96
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,548
In-school betting. Yeah.
97
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:07,584
It's about time we get
betting off the streets,
98
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,286
into the school here
where it belongs.
99
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,357
You kidding? I'll bet you
5 to 2 that won't happen.
100
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,615
I'll take that bet.
101
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,185
Mr. Kotter.
102
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,533
Mr. Kotter.
103
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,535
Hey, kids!
104
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:28,493
Let's put on a show!
105
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,000
A show!
106
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,546
Arnold.
107
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:40,116
Arnold, don't be shy.
108
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,584
If you have something to say,
109
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:44,287
just come right out and say it.
110
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:45,877
Well, Mr. Kotter.
111
00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,824
When charities
wanna raise money,
112
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,127
they always go on TV.
113
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:54,497
And how, pray tell, are
we supposed to do that?
114
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,500
Well, Mr. Kotter.
115
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,436
I happen to be a
frequent watcher
116
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:04,006
of Channel 52.4.
117
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,808
It's right here in Brooklyn.
118
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,209
Yeah, I know the channel.
119
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,311
The only time I can get it
120
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,775
is if I hook my antenna
up to my toaster.
121
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,983
That's the one.
122
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,686
Well, Mr. Kotter, I feel
that they would just leap
123
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,377
at the chance for a
Sweathog telly-thon.
124
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:24,015
Arnold, why don't you
leap back to your seat?
125
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:31,700
Look, nobody can possibly
convince the television station
126
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,569
to do a Sweathog telethon.
127
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,772
Nobody in their right
mind would even try.
128
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:37,896
Sure, but we could try.
129
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,277
Uh, Kotter.
130
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,713
Uh, Kotter, I, uh,
wanna apologize
131
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,649
for the way you and your... Your
Sweathogs have been treated
132
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,617
in regard to supplies.
133
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:51,654
And I promise you it
will never happen again.
134
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:54,980
Ask me why it will
never happen again.
135
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:59,862
Why will it never happen again?
136
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,898
Well, it's funny you
should ask that, Kotter.
137
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,734
Uh, I've been making
some budget cuts,
138
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,236
and unless the, uh, money fairy
139
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,706
comes up with 700 big ones,
140
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,775
I'm dropping the remedial
academics program
141
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:14,443
for this semester.
142
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,312
Hey, wait. You can't do that.
143
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,680
Mr. Woodman, you can't do that.
144
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,149
These kids need this program.
145
00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:22,518
They have, uh...
special problems.
146
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:23,519
Yeah.
147
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:26,511
I know I got special problems.
148
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,024
You can't break us up.
149
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:30,627
I mean, we go together.
150
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:33,518
Like... Like "submarine"
and "sandwich."
151
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:38,400
You Sweathogs will be absorbed
in the mainstream of the school,
152
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:39,903
where you will never be seen
153
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,471
or heard from again.
154
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,640
Mr. Woodman.
155
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:46,375
Mr. Woodman!
156
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,910
Hey, hey, he can't do that.
157
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,344
Hey, he can't do that.
158
00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:50,413
Can he do that?
159
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,203
He can do that.
160
00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:56,352
Hey, that's just not fair, man.
161
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,521
Well, I am not
gonna let it happen.
162
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:01,991
I am gonna call
up Channel 52.4...
163
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,426
If they have a phone.
164
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:08,186
And I am gonna convince them
into doing a Sweathog telethon.
165
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:11,401
Hey, kids, let's put on a show.
166
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:19,976
You Kotter?
167
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,699
Me Kotter, who you?
168
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,082
Me Oliver Miles. So,
what's this revolutionary idea
169
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,550
you called my TV station about?
170
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,218
Oh, Oliver, thanks
for coming over.
171
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,720
I don't know how
revolutionary...
172
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,356
Don't worry about
it, kid. I'm a genius.
173
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,191
Whatever you got,
I can make it work.
174
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,528
I got a telethon.
175
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,529
I can't make it work.
176
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:41,797
No, no. Oliver, look,
177
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,032
it would be a direct remote
178
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,337
right from this classroom.
179
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:47,803
I've got an idea.
180
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:52,530
I see... I see a direct
remote from the classroom.
181
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,612
Students working
on their own behalf.
182
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,637
I see students working
on their own behalf.
183
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,921
Oliver, you're a genius.
184
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:07,712
Oliver, you're a genius.
185
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:10,893
Who we got for talent?
186
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,261
Well, my wife sings.
187
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,929
And I've been known
to tell a few jokes.
188
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:15,331
Really?
189
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,433
You don't look funny.
190
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,734
Thank you.
191
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,637
Um... My Sweathogs can perform.
192
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:24,562
Performing Sweathogs?
193
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,644
Is that an animal act?
194
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,679
No, no, no, those
are my students,
195
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:30,746
the Sweathogs. Oh.
196
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,082
They've got all sorts of talent.
197
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,717
I'm sure you'd love them
198
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:38,510
if you got a chance to see them.
199
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:43,915
♪ Me ♪
200
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:49,254
♪ And my shadow ♪
201
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:55,938
♪ Strolling down The avenue ♪
202
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,073
♪ And while We're
on the subject ♪
203
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,042
♪ Me ♪
204
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:03,768
♪ And my shadow ♪
205
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:10,108
♪ Not a soul To
tell our troubles to ♪
206
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:17,627
♪ And when it's 12:00 ♪
207
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:21,197
♪ We climb the stairs ♪
208
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,721
♪ We never knock ♪
209
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,803
♪ 'Cause nobody's there ♪
210
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:28,838
♪ Just ♪
211
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,540
♪ Me ♪
212
00:10:30,564 --> 00:10:35,778
♪ And my shadow ♪
213
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:39,882
♪ All alone And feeling blue ♪
214
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:43,041
♪ Yeah, we're all
alone And feeling blue ♪
215
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,646
♪ All alone and feeling... ♪
216
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,862
All right.
217
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,531
Everybody needs
chairs, all right?
218
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,500
Hey, move it all over here.
219
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:58,589
All right.
220
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:04,106
Honey, I'm so nervous,
I've never been on TV before.
221
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:05,808
Don't you worry, baby.
222
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,776
I'm gonna handle everything.
223
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,213
I'm Mr. Cool.
224
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,014
All you have to
do, you sweet thing,
225
00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:13,983
is answer the phone.
226
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,685
The phone?
227
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:19,255
You're doing a telethon
with one phone?
228
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,758
Uh, sorry, Mrs. Kotter,
but this is all we could, uh,
229
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:23,860
appropriate.
230
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,152
Hello, London?
231
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:29,820
Oh, Kotter.
232
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,202
Waiter, waiter, waiter.
233
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:36,127
Look, could I have a
table for two over there?
234
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:40,343
Come on, cut it out, Kotter.
235
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,111
As long as you're
going through with this
236
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,212
I'll join your show.
237
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,581
Not many people
know this, but I sing.
238
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,917
No.
239
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,586
All right, all right, 30
seconds to airtime.
240
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:53,010
Thirty seconds to airtime.
241
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,291
Clear the camera area.
242
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,915
Clear the camera area here.
243
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:01,163
Get away.
244
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,620
Get away.
245
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:07,069
Hello, is this the
Acapulco operator?
246
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,004
All right, 10 seconds
everyone, break a leg.
247
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:11,941
Hey, which leg do
you want broke, huh?
248
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,776
Hello, Mexico?
249
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,378
I wanna talk to Mr. Big.
250
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,580
Here you go, Kotter.
251
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,982
You know, Oliver, I think I
shoulda been in show business
252
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,083
my whole life.
253
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,618
I mean, I'm just...
254
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:25,520
There's ice water running
through these veins.
255
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,356
Three, two, one.
256
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,880
You're on the air.
257
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,101
Hello, Brooklyn.
258
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,536
Hello, Brooklyn.
259
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:44,974
And welcome to the
Sweathog Telethon.
260
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:46,876
We're here to raise money
261
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,334
for underprivileged children...
262
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,615
Hello.
263
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,484
Which is what my
husband's trying to say.
264
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,252
My husband, me, I'm husband.
265
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,889
Kotter. Me.
266
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,024
Kotter. Uh... Ha-ha!
267
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:05,817
Which reminds me of a song.
268
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,521
Hit it.
269
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:17,572
♪ Let me entertain you ♪
270
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:20,209
♪ Let me make you smile ♪
271
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,278
You told me I
could sing, Kotter.
272
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,547
He told me that I could
sing I'm doing my number.
273
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:27,049
- Mrs. Kotter.
- Mr. Woodman.
274
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:28,917
Pull yourself together.
275
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,786
The show must go on.
276
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,255
Those kids are depending
on you, Kotter. Yes.
277
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:35,558
Kotter, remember, you're
going out there a nobody,
278
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,526
but you're coming back a star.
279
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:41,097
Now, get out there.
280
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:44,200
Mr. Woodman, Mr. Woodman,
give it to me later.
281
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:45,233
Just wait over here.
282
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:48,337
♪ Let me do A
few tricks of old ♪
283
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,439
♪ And then some new tricks ♪
284
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:54,776
♪ I'm very versatile ♪
285
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,180
Yes, uh, that was my wife
singing about some of the old
286
00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,749
and some of the new tricks.
287
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:04,486
She's very versatile. Ha-ha-ha!
288
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,156
Well, my name
is Mr., uh, Kotter.
289
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,757
And we'd like to welcome you
290
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:11,760
to the, uh, Sweathog Telethon.
291
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,528
Hello? KOTTER: 700 dollars...
292
00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,431
Oh, yeah, the little
guy with the short hair?
293
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,533
Oh, the curly hair?
294
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,570
- Oh, that's Juan Epstein, yeah.
- People out there...
295
00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:23,706
Hey, Juan, somebody wants
to pay money to see your face.
296
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:24,974
Get out in front of the camera.
297
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:28,076
We're counting on all
you people from Brooklyn
298
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:31,980
to come in and raise
the $700 which we
299
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,482
so desperately need.
300
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:36,185
Thank you very much.
This is one of the students.
301
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,819
Hey, Juan, you're in the clear.
302
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:40,678
The lady says you ain't the
one that snatched her purse.
303
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,695
We'll be back with the rest
of our telethon so stay with us.
304
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,597
We have a word from
station identification
305
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,465
and we'll see you in a minute.
306
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:53,669
Uh, Kotter, Kotter, now
that you are yourself again,
307
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,804
uh, uh, introduce me.
This is important, Kotter.
308
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,206
I'm not using my
first name Michael.
309
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,042
You just say, "Ladies
and gentlemen,
310
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,665
Woodman."
311
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,881
Later, Mr. Woodman. Later, okay?
312
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,583
Not yet. Wait. Not
yet. Later. Later.
313
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,050
Oh, hi, I see we're back.
314
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,986
Well, just follow
us right over here,
315
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,255
and we're gonna walk
over to see our tote girl
316
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:15,391
Vernajean Williams
and our toteboard.
317
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,694
Vernajean, would you tell
us what our total is so far?
318
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,195
Oh, yeah, oh, sure, sure, sure.
319
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,731
Let's see. So...
320
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,723
Man, so far we ain't
made a plug nickel.
321
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,606
Well, I'm sure you people
out there are just waiting
322
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,441
for our entertainment to start,
323
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:35,477
and you're gonna send in
your money soon, right? Okay.
324
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,112
Well, we'd like to
start off right now
325
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:40,082
with the boy you just met, the
Puerto Rican-Jewish madcap.
326
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,718
Here he is, Juan Epstein.
Come on, let's hear it.
327
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,294
♪ Day-O ♪
328
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,951
Woo! Woo!
329
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:56,799
♪ Day-O ♪
330
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,726
♪ Daylight come And
me wanna go home ♪
331
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:04,873
Hey, Murray.
332
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,443
It's me, Murray.
I'm on the tube.
333
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,944
That's 5 bucks, sucker.
334
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,247
You owe me 5 bucks.
335
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,447
I'm on the tube, man.
336
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,616
I'm right here.
Here's Kotter, man.
337
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,251
Here's Kotter,
we're on the tube.
338
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:17,320
Hello, Murray.
339
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,654
Here's Kotter, man.
340
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,122
Murray. Hello, Murray.
341
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,386
What do you say, Murray?
342
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,286
♪ Oooh-oooh ♪
343
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,791
♪ Baby ♪
344
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,277
Hi there.
345
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,214
From high atop the
fabulously appointed
346
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,616
Sweathog room of
Buchanan High School,
347
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:52,643
this is Freddie "Boom
Boom" Washington.
348
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:58,327
Appealing for
anything you can spare.
349
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,662
Five dollars?
350
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:04,033
Two dollars, one
dollar, a quarter.
351
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,300
Anything at all.
352
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,193
A dime?
353
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:12,964
A dime, you say?
354
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,677
A dime?!
355
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,111
What happened to the big money?
356
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,247
We can't live on no
dime! We'll take a dime.
357
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,282
That's all right.
We'll take the dime.
358
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:23,140
We'll take a dime. Give
us some money, people!
359
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,835
Hello, dummy.
360
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:42,593
Hello, Mr. Kotter.
361
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,511
Well, so far the telethon
362
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,179
is just going great.
363
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:51,447
And there's a lady out there
364
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,816
that says she'll send in $25
365
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,818
if while I drink
a glass of water,
366
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,720
you can sing.
367
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:02,357
Can we do that, Mr. Kotter?
368
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:04,793
We should give the
old high school try.
369
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,930
I'm gonna drink the water
and you're gonna sing.
370
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:15,938
Oh, that's terrific.
371
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:18,162
Now, you sit down and relax.
372
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,053
Thank you. That was the
wonderful Arnold Horshack
373
00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,255
as the dummy.
374
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,057
And now for our final
act of the evening,
375
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,025
I'd like to...
376
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,494
No, n-not yet,
Mr. Woodman. Soon.
377
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,095
But you just said
it's the final act.
378
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,263
Not yet. Final act.
379
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,033
Not yet. Not yet.
Ladies and gentlemen,
380
00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:45,934
here is that Sicilian songbird,
381
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:50,138
the wonderful
Mr. Vinnie Barbarino.
382
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:03,852
♪ I said, a-Bar, Bar, Bar ♪
383
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,021
♪ Bar, Barbarino ♪
384
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,589
♪ Bar, Bar, Bar ♪
385
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:09,391
♪ Bar, Barbarino ♪
386
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:10,959
♪ Bar, Bar, Bar ♪
387
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,394
♪ Bar, Barbarino ♪
388
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,496
♪ You got me
rocking And a-rolling ♪
389
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,864
♪ Barbarino ♪
390
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,733
♪ Barbarino ♪
391
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,902
♪ You got me
rocking And a-reelin' ♪
392
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,638
♪ And a-boppin' and
a-feelin' Oh, Barbarino ♪
393
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:23,972
♪ You got me rocking Woo! ♪
394
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,774
♪ You got me reeling Ooh! ♪
395
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,509
♪ You got me, ooh ♪
396
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,611
♪ Barbarino, yeah, yeah ♪
397
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,883
Thank you very much,
thank you, thank you.
398
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,786
That was the wonderful
Vinnie Barbarino
399
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,755
with "The Barbarino Song."
400
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,624
Thank you. We
enjoyed that very much.
401
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:44,526
We have, uh, some additional
pledges here I'd like to read.
402
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:47,029
We have a $5 pledge
from the Elite Pool Room.
403
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:49,298
"A nice place to bring
the whole family."
404
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,267
Thank you very
much, Elite Pool Room.
405
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,534
After seeing our show
406
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:54,203
and particularly
the ventriloquist,
407
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:58,440
the drunks at Harry's Bar
have pledged to quit drinking.
408
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:00,676
Thank you, drunks
at Harry's Bar.
409
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,044
We have a $15 pledge
410
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,146
from Our Lady of
Spain Accordion School.
411
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,547
Keep squeezing that accordion.
412
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:07,549
Thank you, Our Lady of
Spain Accordion School.
413
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,151
Let's see what time it is.
414
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,019
Well, we're almost out of time.
415
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,822
Vernajean, will you tell
us what our grand total is?
416
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,090
Certainly.
417
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:19,861
Right now, our
grand total is $678.
418
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,798
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
419
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,066
Wait a minute.
420
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,300
That's not enough.
421
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:27,502
We're $22 short.
422
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:29,304
I think we've had
some fun here tonight.
423
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,740
You've seen some good
entertainment, a good time.
424
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:32,941
But we're $22 short.
425
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,010
And I would like to
make a personal plea
426
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:37,146
right now to the
teachers out there,
427
00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:39,803
teachers that have
normal students.
428
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,385
Epstein, come in here a minute.
429
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,453
Come on in here, Epstein.
430
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:47,255
How'd you like to walk
into your classroom
431
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:50,247
every morning and
have to look at this, huh?
432
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,963
We need $22.
Thank you very much.
433
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,507
Washington, come in here.
434
00:20:58,191 --> 00:21:00,502
Hi there. Heh-heh!
435
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:04,539
Washington, how many times
have you said "hi there" this month?
436
00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:07,076
Hi there. Goodbye
there, Washington.
437
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,410
Can I say something? No.
438
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,513
What's happening,
Leroy? I'm on TV, baby.
439
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:13,214
Horshack, come on in here.
440
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:15,216
This is Arnold Horshack.
441
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,786
Horshack, suppose I
say something in class
442
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:18,787
and you know the answer,
443
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,189
how do you raise your hand?
444
00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:22,924
Ooh! Ooh, ooh!
Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
445
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,026
And if something was
funny, how would you laugh?
446
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,331
Thank you very
much. We need $22.
447
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:32,155
Barbarino, please come in here.
448
00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:36,204
Barbarino, what did
we learn yesterday?
449
00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:37,494
What?
450
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:41,643
What did we learn the
day before yesterday?
451
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:43,311
What?
452
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,247
What have you learned all year?
453
00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:46,482
What?
454
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,050
Thank you very much.
455
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:50,252
That's $22. Let's
get it in for me, okay?
456
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:52,654
Yes, yes, he will.
457
00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:55,023
Gabe, there's some
nutty lady on the phone
458
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,658
who says that
she'll send in the $22
459
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:58,059
if you will sing
like you used to
460
00:21:58,083 --> 00:21:59,627
when you were a little boy. Heh!
461
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:02,219
She says you know the song.
462
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,300
Ma.
463
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,203
How could you do this to me, Ma?
464
00:22:08,227 --> 00:22:10,506
Gabe, your mother is waiting.
465
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:13,141
I'm not gonna do it.
I'm not gonna do it.
466
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,843
We need the money, man.
467
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:17,387
Shh-shh-shh.
468
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:21,149
No. Oh, no.
469
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:23,952
No.
470
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:25,853
Come on, man. The floor's yours.
471
00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:27,489
Ma, I'm gonna make
a fool out of myself
472
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,713
in front of a whole burrough.
473
00:22:30,416 --> 00:22:32,060
♪ Shoo fly pie ♪
474
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:33,561
♪ And apple pan dowdy ♪
475
00:22:33,585 --> 00:22:36,064
♪ Make your eyes light up ♪
476
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:39,167
♪ Your tummy says howdy ♪
477
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:40,636
I'm gonna send it, great.
478
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,504
She's sending the $22.
479
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,006
Twenty-two dollars.
480
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:49,578
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Brooklyn.
481
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:51,146
That wraps it up.
You're beautiful.
482
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:52,247
Good night.
483
00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:56,284
♪ I did it my way ♪
484
00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:59,087
♪ For what is a man ♪
485
00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:01,189
♪ What has he got? ♪
Give it to me later.
486
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,624
♪ If by himself ♪
Thank you.
487
00:23:02,648 --> 00:23:03,992
♪ That he has naught ♪
488
00:23:04,016 --> 00:23:06,261
♪ To say the things
He really feels ♪
489
00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:08,097
♪ And not the words ♪
490
00:23:08,121 --> 00:23:09,865
♪ Of one who kneels ♪
491
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,233
♪ The records show ♪
492
00:23:11,257 --> 00:23:12,567
♪ I took the blows ♪
493
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:14,524
♪ And did it my way... ♪
494
00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:25,780
Julie, baby, did I ever tell
you about my uncle Ben?
495
00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:27,871
No, did he make rice?
496
00:23:36,048 --> 00:23:38,860
No, he didn't make rice.
497
00:23:38,884 --> 00:23:40,561
He was a little
cuckoo, you know.
498
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:42,964
So he went to a psychiatrist.
So the psychiatrist said:
499
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:44,699
"Mr. Kotter, I'm
sorry to tell you this,
500
00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:46,134
but you're schizophrenic."
501
00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:48,470
Uh-oh. What did Uncle Ben say?
502
00:23:48,494 --> 00:23:51,173
Uncle Ben said, "Thank you very
much. How much do I owe you?"
503
00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:52,841
Psychiatrist says,
"You owe me $100."
504
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:54,442
Uncle Ben gives him $50.
505
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:56,445
Psychiatrist says,
"Where's the other $50?"
506
00:23:56,469 --> 00:23:58,936
Uncle Ben says, "Get
it from the other guy."
507
00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:17,566
♪ Welcome back ♪
508
00:24:17,590 --> 00:24:20,235
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
509
00:24:20,259 --> 00:24:23,238
♪ Welcome back ♪
510
00:24:23,262 --> 00:24:28,076
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
511
00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:30,345
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
512
00:24:30,369 --> 00:24:32,381
♪ Since you hung around ♪
513
00:24:32,405 --> 00:24:34,716
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
514
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:36,918
♪ And they've turned around ♪
515
00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:39,120
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
516
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:40,922
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya? ♪
517
00:24:40,946 --> 00:24:43,058
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
518
00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:45,127
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
519
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,229
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
520
00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:49,430
♪ 'Cause we got
him On the spot ♪
521
00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:51,566
♪ Welcome back ♪
522
00:24:51,590 --> 00:24:53,768
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
523
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:55,871
♪ Welcome back ♪
524
00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:58,273
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
525
00:24:58,297 --> 00:25:00,275
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
526
00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:02,443
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
527
00:25:02,467 --> 00:25:04,646
♪ 'Cause we got
him On the spot ♪
528
00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:06,981
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
529
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,939
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
35081
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof