Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:05,582
What's the matter,
Julie? Who was that?
2
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,983
It was a crank call.
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,785
I don't know why kids
have to make crank calls.
4
00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:11,420
Did you ever do that?
5
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:12,822
Just once.
6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,391
I was about 11.
7
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,026
I called up a butcher.
8
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,361
I said, "Hello, is
this the butcher?"
9
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:19,796
He said, "Yes, it is."
10
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,740
I said, "Do you
have pig's feet?"
11
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,667
He said, "We certainly do."
12
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,811
I said, "Well, where do
you buy your shoes?"
13
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,807
Welcome Back,
Kotter is recorded live
14
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,742
before a studio audience.
15
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,886
♪ Welcome back ♪
16
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:46,556
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
17
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,758
♪ Welcome back ♪
18
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:53,663
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
19
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,699
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
20
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,034
♪ Since you hung around ♪
21
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,236
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
22
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,772
♪ And they've turned around ♪
23
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,841
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
24
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,643
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
25
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,712
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
26
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,746
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
27
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,849
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
28
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,951
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
29
00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:17,220
♪ Welcome back ♪
30
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,389
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
31
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,280
♪ Welcome back ♪
32
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,970
Hey, Epstein.
33
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:36,434
What are you doin'?
Hey, I wanna talk to you.
34
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:46,349
Mr. Woodman, uh,
mixing these two classes...
35
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,617
Do you really think that
that's the right thing to do?
36
00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:50,920
This flu epidemic
has hit us hard, Kotter.
37
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,723
Ms. Fishbeck kept my
other teachers out sick.
38
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,024
I've gotta combine what's left
39
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,382
of her academically
enriched class...
40
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,919
with your, uh, Sweathogs.
41
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:03,900
I don't know, Mr. Woodman,
42
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,937
mixing, uh, Ms. Fishbeck's
class with the Sweathogs
43
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:10,707
is like mixing
strawberries and mustard.
44
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,875
What's the matter with
strawberries and mustard?
45
00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:13,899
I eat it everyday.
46
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:18,970
♪ Boom boom boom
boom boom boom ♪
47
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,351
What is he doing?
48
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,954
He was just pretending
to play the bass.
49
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,390
Isn't there some other
way, Mr. Woodman?
50
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,092
They were just
pretending... They, uh...
51
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:31,883
They do a lot of
pretending in that class.
52
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,388
They pretend to be students.
He pretends to be a teacher.
53
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:42,038
Epstein. Epstein, where are
you going? What's the matter?
54
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,509
You're going flying?
55
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,745
No, you're not?
You're sick of flying?
56
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,680
Your stomach is fly... Flew.
57
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:54,773
You just flew in from Vegas,
and, boy, is your stomach tired.
58
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,020
No. Oh, you're
sick. You got the flu.
59
00:02:58,044 --> 00:03:00,056
Yeah, yeah.
60
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,120
Flu.
61
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,815
Sick. Unh.
62
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,218
Gonna die.
63
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:17,474
This, uh... This flu
epidemic is a crisis, Kotter.
64
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,942
You remember what
General Patton used to say?
65
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:20,944
Sure I do.
66
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,801
He said, "School is hell."
67
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,049
No, he didn't say that.
68
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:28,718
He said, "When
the going gets tough,
69
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,342
the tough get going."
70
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,023
What's the matter, Mr. Woodman?
71
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,226
You flew? You got the flu?
72
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,094
Huh? You're sick?
73
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,685
If you fly into
Epstein, let me know.
74
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,233
All right, good morning.
75
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:46,097
Good morning, Mr. Kotter.
76
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,739
As you see, uh, Ms.
Fishbeck is out with the flu,
77
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,707
so some of her students
will be joining us.
78
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,399
Let's give 'em a nice,
warm Sweathog welcome.
79
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,705
Hey, yo, Mr. Kotter,
80
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:03,720
if they're the
academically enriched,
81
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,455
then, uh, what is we?
82
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:06,489
Unenriched?
83
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:09,693
No, you're dumb.
84
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,652
Hey, Howdy Doody.
85
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:22,439
Why don't you take
one end of a rubber hose
86
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,240
and put it in your mouth,
87
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,477
and then you take the other
and you put it up your nose,
88
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,035
and then you blow
till your brains fall out.
89
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,615
Ha, ha, ha.
90
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,050
Hey, Vinnie.
91
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:37,353
Vinnie, when are you gonna
change the oil in your hair?
92
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,490
Hey, hey, hey, Judy.
93
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:44,060
You know how you can lose
10 ugly pounds in a hurry?
94
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,461
Have your head removed.
95
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,333
All right. Come on,
come on, enough of this.
96
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,090
Come on, let's settle down.
97
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,004
Boy, we have a
lot more casualt...
98
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,806
Arnold is absent.
99
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,674
Yeah, I don't think
Arnold's been absent
100
00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,242
the whole time I've known him.
101
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:01,911
Yeah, you know,
he never gets sick.
102
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,280
I guess, it's probably because
no germ would wanna live
103
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,304
in his body.
104
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,720
Here. Here.
105
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,293
Arnold, would you
take that mask off
106
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,495
so we can understand
what you're saying?
107
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:22,954
All I said was...
108
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,268
You know, it's nice to be safe,
109
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:28,371
but you can carry flu
prevention a little bit too far.
110
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:31,541
You know, Mr. Kotter, you're
not looking so hot yourself.
111
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,232
How would you
like some vitamins?
112
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,937
These are to make
your complexion pretty.
113
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:44,242
These are to strengthen
your teeth and your nails.
114
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,312
And these are to make
you friskier with the missis.
115
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:57,867
Oh, which one of those pills
do I take to make you sit down?
116
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,926
Oh, Mr. Kotter. Go
ahead, go ahead.
117
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,478
Yesterday, we were talking
about world economics.
118
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,580
Now, the economics of
the world greatly change
119
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,815
with the discovery
of the New World.
120
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,383
Now, who was the first explorer
121
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,567
to chart the North
American coastline?
122
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,381
Todd.
123
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,850
Amerigo Vespucci.
124
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,153
You made that up.
125
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:34,237
Amerigo Vespucci.
126
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:38,663
You mean, you don't know
who Amerigo Vespucci was?
127
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,945
Of course, I know who he was.
128
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:45,136
That was... That was Chef
Boyardee's maiden name.
129
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:50,119
Okay.
130
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,922
Now, one of the most important
trade routes of the New World...
131
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,424
Maybe the most important.
- -was the Mississippi River.
132
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,768
Now, who discovered
the Mississippi River?
133
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,432
Judy.
134
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,134
De Soto.
135
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,468
De Soto!
136
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:09,138
That was the name of
my father's first taxicab.
137
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,728
De Soto.
138
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,445
All right, I'm gonna ask
you a very simple question.
139
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,746
Something we all know,
140
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,570
because we all learned
it in the third grade.
141
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,788
What were the names
of Columbus' three ships?
142
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:27,991
Oh, that's so cheesy.
143
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,282
Oh, I used to know that.
144
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,730
Me? Me? I know...
145
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,097
Freddie, come on, what is it?
146
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,199
All right. Okay.
147
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,467
You wanna know the three names
148
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,269
of Columbus' three
ships, right? Right.
149
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:40,636
Okay, I'm gonna give it to you.
150
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:41,740
Um.
151
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:44,941
Nina?
152
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:45,975
Nina, right.
153
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,570
Okay, baby, there's
a Nina and a Pinto.
154
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,752
Pinto!
155
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:58,376
That was the name of
my father's second taxicab.
156
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,689
That's Pinta.
157
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:01,724
Right.
158
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,226
Yeah, right, right,
the Pinta. Okay.
159
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,596
Now, we got the Nina,
the Pinta and the...
160
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,698
Go, Freddie, go,
Freddie, go, Freddie go.
161
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,533
We got the Nina,
the Pinta and the...
162
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:11,901
Santa. FREDDIE: The Santa...
163
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,504
Santa... Santa Anita.
164
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,363
Santa Anita?
165
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,243
Yeah, that's the boat
166
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,711
that all the horses sailed in.
167
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:27,951
Mr. Kotter!
168
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:30,019
Mr. Kotter, since
we're on the subject
169
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,321
of great explorers,
170
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,289
I have some very
interesting information
171
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,425
that I would like to
share with the class.
172
00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:37,693
It's about Lewis and Clark.
173
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,730
Al Lewis and Willy Clark.
174
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:44,867
The Sunshine Boys. I've
seen that movie many times.
175
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,736
Oh, Mr. Kotter, please?
176
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,959
Do your George Burns.
177
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,164
All right.
178
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,980
- I - remember the
week I was working
179
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,416
at the Devily Theatre in
Poughkeepsie, New York.
180
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,784
I was on a split bill,
181
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:05,287
and the other act was a
young lady named Trixie Hicks.
182
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:06,288
A terrific act.
183
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:07,623
She used to, uh, have the map
184
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:10,426
of England tattooed on her body.
185
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,562
Big finish was, she
would show the audience
186
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,219
the white cliffs of Dover.
187
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,834
Mr. Kotter, we're here to learn.
188
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:21,204
Ms. Fishbeck doesn't
do impressions.
189
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:25,041
Yeah, all she ever
does is tug at her girdle.
190
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:35,051
As I was saying: In 1804,
191
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,486
Lewis and Clark were
the first ones to explore
192
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:41,524
the newly acquired territory
known as the Louisiana Purchase.
193
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:45,161
They also had an Indian woman
with them who acted as a guide.
194
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:48,697
Her name was Sacajawea,
and she was fascinating.
195
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,098
I could talk about
her for hours,
196
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:51,334
'cause she was the first...
197
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:54,225
Judy. Judy. Judy. Give
it to me later, all right?
198
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,206
All right. Homework!
199
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,207
Homework, Mr. Kotter.
200
00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,608
You forgot to give us homework.
201
00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:01,077
Right. Right. Homework.
202
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,078
Answer the questions
at the back of Chapter 6.
203
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,280
For tomorrow. Mañana.
204
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:07,249
Hey, Todd. Yeah?
205
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,784
Can I talk to you for a minute?
206
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,048
Yeah.
207
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,422
Todd. Yeah.
208
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,291
You don't understand.
209
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,659
You see,
210
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:19,295
when he forgets to
give us homework
211
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,732
you're not supposed
to remind him.
212
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:23,732
See?
213
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,589
Comprendo, dumb-o?
214
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,927
See? Freddie, if I may?
215
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:36,179
Todd, on behalf of all
the Sweathogs present
216
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:40,215
I would like to welcome
you to our class.
217
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:41,784
Aw, thanks, Arnold. Thanks.
218
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:42,985
What are you doing?
219
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,521
Oh, b... by the way, Todd. Yeah.
220
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:49,792
You know that... That...
That gook that they scrape
221
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,495
from the bottom
of the barrel? Yeah.
222
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,630
That's you, Todd.
223
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,831
Come on. Oh, oh.
224
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,905
All right, all right, all right.
225
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,606
Come on, let's cut
this out, all right?
226
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:06,008
We'll be together
for a few days.
227
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:08,043
We're all here for the
same thing: to learn.
228
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,046
You know what I
learned today, Mr. Kotter?
229
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,547
I'll tell you what
I learned today:
230
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,715
I learned that I
don't know nothing.
231
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,252
No, Vinnie, you
don't know anything.
232
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,608
See?
233
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,657
All right. Look, learning
is like anything else.
234
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,927
People just don't all
do it at the same pace.
235
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:26,684
It's like the stomach flu.
236
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,654
Some people get it.
237
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,091
Some people don't get it.
238
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,495
I think I got it.
239
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,654
Julie.
240
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,845
What's the matter?
241
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:56,881
I have a zero temperature.
242
00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:01,464
I think you're probably
just reading it wrong.
243
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,665
Oh.
244
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,990
According to this, you
died three days ago.
245
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,504
How do you feel, honey?
246
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,873
You know that
gook that they scrape
247
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,330
from the bottom of the barrel?
248
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,646
Why don't you just come
on and get back in bed?
249
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:18,747
I can't. I gotta go to school.
250
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:21,617
I cannot leave my kids alone
with Ms. Fishbeck's class.
251
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,920
I mean, they're starting
to feel inadequate already.
252
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,888
If I don't show up,
they'll probably just stop
253
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,456
trying to learn.
254
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,991
Besides, uh,
255
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,993
they'll put 'em with
Mr. Millman's Metal Shop
256
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,995
if I'm not there. So?
257
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:36,532
Those kids alone in
the Metal Shop class?
258
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,189
They'll build a tank.
259
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,260
Honey, you are crazy.
260
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,329
I know.
261
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,111
That's what makes
this marriage work.
262
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:52,347
All right. What do you want
me to make you for breakfast?
263
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:54,783
Egh! Don't talk about that.
Don't mention that word.
264
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:56,452
Well, do you want me
to pack you a lunch?
265
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:59,721
Oogh. Do not talk about
food. Please, no food.
266
00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:02,558
Honey, you cannot go an
entire day without eating.
267
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:03,859
I know that.
268
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:06,128
That's why I'm gonna make
myself a nice sandwich.
269
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,764
I got a nice sandwich
that I'm gonna make.
270
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,433
Couple pieces of bread,
271
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,224
then you put on some Anacin...
272
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,094
some Pepto-Bismol,
273
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,375
and then you get
some milk of magnesia,
274
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,944
and you got a nice
medicine sandwich,
275
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,546
and then for dessert... What?
276
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,890
You can get some
nasal spray. Oh, good.
277
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,517
I don't feel good, Julie.
278
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:28,806
Oh.
279
00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:40,563
Well, good morning.
280
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:44,022
Nice to see the bright,
smiling backs of your heads.
281
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,403
You are looking
very chipper yourself
282
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,071
this morning, Mr. Kotter.
283
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,173
Hey, Horshack.
284
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,543
Look, Kotter, you
don't need us no more.
285
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,644
You finally got some
smart kids you can teach.
286
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,988
So why don't you just
pretend we ain't here, all right?
287
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,116
Oh.
288
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,906
Little babies got
their feelings hurt.
289
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,020
So, they're gonna do the old
290
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,423
we're-not-gonna-face-Mr.
Kotter routine.
291
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,512
Right?
292
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,129
Oh, they're gonna pull the old
293
00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:15,797
we'll
stick-our-heads-in-the-sand
294
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:18,823
and-be-Sweat-ostriches routine.
295
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:25,107
It's gonna be the old...
296
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:27,651
That's enough. Come on,
turn those chairs around.
297
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,234
Now!
298
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,914
Facing the front.
299
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,167
Okay. I mean, the way
you guys are acting,
300
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,301
we're right back to
the first day of school.
301
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:55,304
It's like we haven't
learned anything.
302
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,328
No.
303
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,300
Now we back to the
first day of school.
304
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,481
This is nice, huh?
305
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:08,116
This is the way for high
school students to act.
306
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,307
Throwing paper
airplanes at their teacher.
307
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,344
Well, I won't stand for it.
308
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:24,055
Hey. Don't fool around
with an ex-Sweathog.
309
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:31,006
Mr. Kotter, I got a note
explaining my absenteeism.
310
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:34,409
"Dear Mr. Kotter, please
excuse Juan's abs..."
311
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,079
Aren't you gonna read along?
312
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,514
"Please excuse Juan's absence,
313
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,516
"he was home sick
with the stomach flu.
314
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,185
Sincerely, Mrs. Epstein."
315
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:44,854
Fine.
316
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,489
It's okay, Juan. Your
excuse is perfectly legitimate.
317
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:48,991
I know.
318
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:50,526
That's the problem.
319
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:54,763
It's the first legit excuse
I've turned in in 11 years.
320
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:59,301
Me, Juan Epstein, the flim-flam
man of Buchanan High School.
321
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:00,535
A legit excuse.
322
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:01,537
Ptss!
323
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,606
What's the world coming to?
324
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,365
How're you feeling, Juan?
325
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,047
Eh... better, Horshack.
326
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:13,982
Good.
327
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:16,885
Hey, Juan, I didn't
finish my lunch yesterday
328
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,555
you want half a
liverwurst sandwich?
329
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,278
Mmm.
330
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:26,216
Mr. Kotter, can I
have my note back?
331
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,690
Put that thing away, Arnold,
before you empty the school out.
332
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:35,637
All right, yesterday,
333
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,439
you were supposed
to answer the questions
334
00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:39,074
in the back of Chapter 6.
335
00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:42,533
Will everyone please take
out their homework. Now.
336
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:49,117
Mr. Vincent Barbarino, I
don't see any homework.
337
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:52,387
All right, so I didn't
do my homework.
338
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:54,879
So excuse me for living.
339
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,394
How about Arnold? Did
you do your homework?
340
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,763
Weh-heh-heh-heh-ell...
341
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:06,701
Mr. Kotter, if Vinnie
did not do his homework,
342
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:08,804
then the chances is very great
343
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:12,708
that I didn't do my
homework either.
344
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,012
How about you, Freddie?
345
00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:19,337
Well, you see, uh,
ahem... Hi there.
346
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,718
Hi there. Homework.
Oh, homework.
347
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:25,287
You see, well, I
don't happen to have
348
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:27,045
my homework right here, handy.
349
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:29,880
Did you do your homework?
350
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,583
No.
351
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,598
Did anybody in this
class do their homework?
352
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:39,034
I did mine, Mr. Kotter.
353
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,202
Thank you, Todd.
354
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,237
My homework's right
here too, Mr. Kotter.
355
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,672
It's typed.
356
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,074
In triplicate.
357
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,178
Naturally.
358
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:51,513
Hey, yo, Mr. Kotter,
359
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:54,283
why do you need
our homework for?
360
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:57,452
They got all the answers.
361
00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:58,987
Yeah.
362
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,412
All we got is a
lot of questions.
363
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,728
I don't want you to
stop asking questions.
364
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:09,098
Asking questions is how
you learn. You can't just quit.
365
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,866
What would happen if
George Washington quit, huh?
366
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:13,702
If Abraham Lincoln quit?
367
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,071
What would happen if
Murray Cornfeld quit?
368
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,208
I ain't never heard
of no Murray Cornfeld.
369
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,709
You know why you
never heard of him?
370
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:21,832
'Cause he quit.
371
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,948
Now, you wanna know
why Ms. Fishbeck's class
372
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:28,450
knows all the answers?
373
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:29,840
No.
374
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:34,790
Well, I'll tell you anyway.
375
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,825
They know all the
answers because they learn.
376
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,161
They study, because
school is important to them.
377
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:40,662
You could know
all the answers too.
378
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:41,930
All you have to do is study.
379
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,700
I gotta disagree
with that, Mr. Kotter.
380
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,158
I tried it. It don't work.
381
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,827
I once opened up a book.
382
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,843
And I studied it.
383
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,780
I mean, studied.
No fooling around.
384
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,004
Fifteen solid minutes.
385
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:04,219
And nothing happened.
386
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,355
Look, you can learn
anything you want.
387
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,991
But that's the key word.
You have to want to.
388
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:11,560
Now, you people know
things that they don't know.
389
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,561
Sure, like what?
390
00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:16,332
Like what? Okay,
I'll prove it to you.
391
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,701
You've heard of
the college bowl?
392
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,924
Well, it's time to
play the Kotter bowl.
393
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:25,541
Okay, first question:
394
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:29,712
Judy, who's the all-time
leading rebounder in the NBA?
395
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,380
The what?
396
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,719
Wrong. Can you take it,
Washington, Sweathog?
397
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:39,288
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The all-time
leading rebounder in the NBA
398
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:42,979
is Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain.
399
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:48,019
Who cares? I hate baseball.
400
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,133
Next question.
401
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,702
You have a date
with a girl at 8:30.
402
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:56,204
You have a date with
another girl at 9:00.
403
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,139
One is a blonde.
One is a brunette.
404
00:19:58,163 --> 00:19:59,441
Now, how can you keep both dates
405
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,410
without letting either
know about the other?
406
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,078
Can you take that,
Todd? Fishbecks.
407
00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,147
Well, who would wanna
go out with two girls
408
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,381
in the same night anyway?
409
00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:10,741
Barbarino. Sweathogs.
410
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,510
Simple.
411
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:17,192
All right, you got
the blonde, right?
412
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,460
You tell her to meet you
413
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,529
at Coney Island on
the boardwalk, right?
414
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,198
Then you tell the brunette
to meet you at Coney Island
415
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,867
under the boardwalk, right?
416
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,403
And then you spend the
whole night going up and down.
417
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:30,594
Up and down, up and
down, up and down.
418
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:33,597
Correct.
419
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,979
Excuse me, Mr. Kotter,
420
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:39,603
but don't I know nothing?
421
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:46,989
Or am I the proverbial
village schmendrick?
422
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:49,692
Next question is
a 25-point tossup.
423
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:50,993
First one to answer it.
424
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,628
Okay.
425
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:57,299
Who were the stars of the
musical movie, Footlight Parade?
426
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:58,901
Oh! Oh, aw!
427
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,837
Oh, me. Oh, please, me, oh!
428
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,139
Horshack. Sweathogs.
429
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:07,843
James Cagney, Dick
Powell, Joan Blondell
430
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:10,634
and the ever-popular
Ruby Keeler.
431
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:17,019
♪ By a waterfall I'm
calling you-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
432
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,076
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
433
00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:29,252
And who can forget Cagney?
434
00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:34,637
I've searched here,
and I've searched there.
435
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:38,107
♪ I'm searching for
My Shanghai Lil ♪
436
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:41,810
♪ He's searching
for his Shanghai Lil ♪
437
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:45,469
♪ Boys, make way
For Shanghai Lil ♪
438
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:02,420
Well, Mr. Woodman, at least
you and I are back on our feet.
439
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:05,534
You know, Kotter,
440
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:08,703
I was pretty sick last week.
441
00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:13,275
And as I lay in my bed, I,
uh, had a lot of time to think...
442
00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:18,146
about my life, and,
uh, mistakes I made.
443
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,616
And Kotter,
444
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,284
there's something
I wanna tell you.
445
00:22:22,308 --> 00:22:24,052
Yes, Mr. Woodman?
446
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,943
I still don't like you.
447
00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:30,214
You dirty rat. You...
448
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:44,039
Awfully glad you could
make it, Mr. Kotter.
449
00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:47,208
Well, Arnold, I guess
it's just you and me, huh?
450
00:22:47,232 --> 00:22:50,167
Oh, yes, isn't it grand?
451
00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:53,815
Well, since I am a teacher
and you are a student,
452
00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:55,517
there is no reason
to waste the day.
453
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,319
I don't think we should
start anything new
454
00:22:57,343 --> 00:22:58,520
with everybody absent.
455
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,288
Let's just review
some of the old stuff.
456
00:23:00,312 --> 00:23:02,479
So, sure. Go ahead, go ahead.
457
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:06,127
Okay, on the Lewis
and Clark expedition,
458
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:07,896
who was the Indian guide?
459
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,532
Oh! Oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh!
460
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:13,702
Oh, please, me. Call
on me. Oh, oh, oh!
461
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,003
Call me, oh!
462
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,577
Julie, did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Morris?
463
00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:24,813
No. Why don't you?
464
00:23:24,837 --> 00:23:26,381
All right, I
certainly will. Okay.
465
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,383
Uncle Morris was in
this country for five years
466
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,852
and wanted to be a citizen
more than anything in the world.
467
00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:33,155
So he went to the judge
to take his citizenship test.
468
00:23:33,179 --> 00:23:35,524
He said, "Judge, I know
everything about this country.
469
00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:37,792
"I know from George
Washington, Abraham Lincoln,
470
00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:39,427
"the Declaration
of Independence.
471
00:23:39,451 --> 00:23:41,196
"I know the Emancipation
Proclamation,
472
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:43,665
"but I don't think you're
gonna let me be a citizen,
473
00:23:43,689 --> 00:23:45,734
because I don't
speak good English."
474
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:49,704
Well, what did the judge
say? The judge said:
475
00:23:49,728 --> 00:23:52,206
"Don't you worry.
You'll pass the test.
476
00:23:52,230 --> 00:23:55,243
You'll be all right. What
are you worrying about?"
477
00:24:11,416 --> 00:24:14,096
♪ Welcome back ♪
478
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,766
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
479
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,302
♪ Welcome back ♪
480
00:24:20,326 --> 00:24:24,873
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
481
00:24:24,897 --> 00:24:26,908
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
482
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:29,110
♪ Since you hung around ♪
483
00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:31,480
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
484
00:24:31,504 --> 00:24:34,215
♪ And they've turned around ♪
485
00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:35,950
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
486
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,086
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
487
00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:39,921
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
488
00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:42,224
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
489
00:24:42,248 --> 00:24:44,159
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
490
00:24:44,183 --> 00:24:46,228
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
491
00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:48,429
♪ Welcome back ♪
492
00:24:48,453 --> 00:24:50,331
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
493
00:24:50,355 --> 00:24:52,734
♪ Welcome back ♪
494
00:24:52,758 --> 00:24:55,136
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
495
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,972
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
496
00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:59,374
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
497
00:24:59,398 --> 00:25:01,409
♪ Cause we got him On the spot ♪
498
00:25:01,433 --> 00:25:03,611
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
499
00:25:03,635 --> 00:25:06,014
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
500
00:25:06,038 --> 00:25:07,916
♪ Cause we got him On the spot ♪
501
00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:10,519
♪ Welcome back ♪
502
00:25:10,543 --> 00:25:12,387
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
503
00:25:12,411 --> 00:25:14,489
♪ Welcome back ♪
504
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,791
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
505
00:25:16,815 --> 00:25:19,116
♪ Welcome back ♪
34512
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof