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Help everyone explore
new worlds and ideas.
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00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,067
Support your PBS station.
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[SIGHS]
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[SPOON CLINKING IN CUP]
5
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MMM.
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00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:51,367
WELL, IT'S BEEN A LONG
TIME SINCE WE DID THAT.
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I WASN'T SURE IT
WOULD ALL STILL WORK.
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BUT IT DID.
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00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,033
IT'S LIKE RIDING A BIKE.
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00:02:10,467 --> 00:02:14,533
THAT'S BEEN LEFT OUT IN
THE RAIN FOR 20 YEARS.
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00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:18,000
FOR A SECOND THERE, I
THOUGHT I KILLED YOU.
12
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,167
[DOORBELL RINGS]
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VIOLET:
IT'S VIOLET, DARLING!
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NOW, FREDDIE, REMEMBER,
NO MENTIONING
THE INHERITANCE
15
00:02:24,833 --> 00:02:26,200
MY MOTHER LEFT ME.
16
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IT'S THE FIRST TIME WE'VE EVER
HAD ANY SAVINGS AND I WANT US
17
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:33,333
TO BE ABLE TO KEEP
IT FOR OURSELVES.
18
00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:36,067
I'M BROKE, DARLING.
I'VE GOT NOTHING.
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00:02:36,167 --> 00:02:39,167
OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
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00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:40,967
SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
21
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,867
DON'T YOU WANT TO
KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
22
00:02:42,967 --> 00:02:45,200
NOT REALLY.
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00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:47,167
I LOST EVERYTHING
IN THE DIVORCE.
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00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,667
STUART:
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
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00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:50,833
HOW DID YOU LOSE
EVERYTHING IN THE DIVORCE?
26
00:02:50,933 --> 00:02:52,400
YOU WERE ONLY MARRIED
A FEW MONTHS.
27
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WELL, ACTUALLY, HE STOLE IT
ALL BUT THIS WAY SOUNDS
28
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MORE SOPHISTICATED.
29
00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:59,600
YOU'LL PULL THROUGH,
DEAR. YOU ALWAYS DO.
30
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,167
THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS
WE LOVE ABOUT YOU.
31
00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:03,767
ANY SANE PERSON WITH YOUR
LIFE WOULD'VE KILLED
32
00:03:03,867 --> 00:03:06,067
THEMSELVES LONG AGO.
33
00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:08,400
THANK YOU, FREDDIE.
34
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,533
BUT I DON'T THINK I WILL
PULL THROUGH THIS TIME.
35
00:03:10,633 --> 00:03:14,967
I'VE REALLY FOUND MYSELF ON
THE BRINK OF FINANCIAL RUIN.
36
00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:19,733
IF ONLY WE COULD HELP...
BUT WE CAN'T.
37
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,167
OF COURSE NOT,
38
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:24,333
AND I WOULD NEVER ASK
YOU FOR ANYTHING.
39
00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:34,733
VIOLET:
I'M STILL SO SURPRISED,
STUART, THAT YOUR MOTHER LEFT
40
00:03:34,833 --> 00:03:36,400
YOU NOTHING IN HER WILL.
41
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,100
NOPE. NOT A PENNY.
SPENT IT ALL.
42
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,500
WHAT ON EARTH ON?
43
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,900
THE LAST TIME SHE BOUGHT A
DRESS, HITLER WAS IN POWER.
44
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,567
WHO KNOWS?
45
00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:48,833
COCAINE...
46
00:03:48,933 --> 00:03:51,167
RENTBOYS...
47
00:03:51,267 --> 00:03:53,167
SHE ALWAYS HAD A BIT
OF A DARK SIDE.
48
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,900
VIOLET:
YES, I SUPPOSE. ARE THOSE
NEW DRESSING GOWNS YOU'RE
49
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,233
BOTH WEARING?
50
00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:59,400
NO.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
51
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,400
REALLY? ARE YOU
QUITE CERTAIN?
52
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:05,133
FEWER QUESTIONS,
MORE MAKE UP.
53
00:04:07,867 --> 00:04:09,200
HI!
54
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,467
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
LIKE THAT, DEAR?
55
00:04:11,567 --> 00:04:15,333
OH, IT'S FOR ME NEW JOB.
I'M A LOLLIPOP MAN.
56
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:19,167
JESUS CHRIST!
57
00:04:19,267 --> 00:04:22,067
BETWEEN THIS AND MY 3
OTHER JOBS, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO
58
00:04:22,167 --> 00:04:23,500
MAKE APRIL'S RENT.
59
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,000
IT'S MAY.
60
00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:28,300
OH, GOD, IS IT?
61
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,867
DO YOU REMEMBER HOW ATTRACTIVE
WE USED TO THINK HE WAS?
62
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:36,167
IF ONLY YOU AND I COULD
FIND A WAY TO MAKE SOME
EXTRA CASH, DARLING.
63
00:04:36,267 --> 00:04:39,700
YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE HEARD
CAN BE QUITE LUCRATIVE?
64
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,433
A SEX TAPE.
65
00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:44,700
Y-Y-YEAH, I DON'T--
I DON'T THINK--
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00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,000
NO, I HAVE
MY RESERVATIONS, TOO,
67
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:50,133
BUT IT'S SOMETHING
WE SHOULD CONSIDER.
68
00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:52,267
DO YOU THINK WE COULD
MAKE MUCH MONEY?
69
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:55,700
ONLY IF PEOPLE HAD TO
PAY NOT TO SEE IT.
70
00:04:55,800 --> 00:05:00,167
WELL, WE HATE TO GIVE
YOU SHORT SHRIFT, BUT
WE'VE BOOKED MASSAGES
71
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:03,733
TODAY AND THEN LUNCH AT
THE SAVOY, SO GOOD-BYE.
72
00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:05,767
I SHOULD GO ANYWAY.
73
00:05:05,867 --> 00:05:09,233
IF I'M LATE, THE KIDS SING,
* ASH, ASH, HAS A RASH,
74
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:12,433
SHOVE HIS STUPID
HEAD IN MASH *
75
00:05:12,533 --> 00:05:15,100
WONDERFUL!
76
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,433
IT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR
YOU'RE DOING SO WELL.
77
00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:20,933
FREDDIE:
COME ON. YOU, TOO,
GET UP.
78
00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:24,133
MASSAGES AND LUNCH
AT THE SAVOY.
79
00:05:24,233 --> 00:05:26,133
THAT ALL SOUNDS
VERY EXPENSIVE.
80
00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:28,000
IT'S A PRESENT.
FROM WHOM?
81
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,667
ADDYDADDYBADDAWOB.
82
00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:31,000
WHO?
83
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:33,133
I'M SORRY, DEAR, THE PHONE'S
RINGING. I HAVE TO GET IT.
84
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,000
I DON'T HEAR THE--
85
00:05:38,467 --> 00:05:46,133
OH, IT'S SO NICE TO TRY
SOMETHING ON AND
ACTUALLY BUY IT...
86
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:48,733
INSTEAD OF TELLING THE
SALESMAN I'VE LEFT MY WALLET
87
00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:52,467
AT HOME AND THEN CRYING
IN THE TOILET.
88
00:05:52,567 --> 00:05:56,133
ONCE YOU HAVE MONEY,
YOU REALLY NOTICE
HOW REVOLTING EVERYONE
89
00:05:56,233 --> 00:05:58,467
WHO DOESN'T HAVE IT IS.
90
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:01,733
LET'S JUST MAKE SURE WE
DON'T GET TOO OUT OF CONTROL
91
00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:03,167
WITH THE SPENDING.
92
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:04,967
YES, YOU'RE RIGHT.
93
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:07,767
SO... SHALL WE HAVE
SOME TEA AND CAVIAR?
94
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,367
LET'S.
95
00:06:09,467 --> 00:06:13,100
OH, I DO HOPE
BALTHAZAR LIKES
HIS TIFFANY WATER BOWL.
96
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,933
[DOORBELL RINGS]
97
00:06:15,033 --> 00:06:18,200
I'LL GO. IT'S PROBABLY
THE LOBSTERS.
98
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,100
OH. WHAT DO
YOU TWO WANT?
99
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:24,700
OH, YES, I AM FINE AFTER
MY TRIPLE BYPASS. THANK YOU
100
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,133
SO MUCH FOR ASKING.
101
00:06:26,233 --> 00:06:27,667
I THOUGHT THAT WAS
NEXT WEEK.
102
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IT WAS LAST WEEK.
103
00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:31,700
APPARENTLY I DIED FOR
ONE MINUTE ON THE TABLE.
104
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,000
WELL, YOU'RE ALIVE NOW.
105
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,000
IS THIS THE MAN YOU
WERE TELLING ME ABOUT,
106
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,333
THE ONE YOU SAID WAS
A TOTAL FUCKWIT?
107
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:44,533
YES.
108
00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:48,733
I'VE ADDED A LITTLE FOIE
GRAS TO THE--OH, HELLO.
109
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:50,267
PENELOPE: HELLO.
110
00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:53,133
IS THAT THE OTHER FUCKWIT?
YES.
111
00:06:53,233 --> 00:06:55,133
WE WEREN'T EXPECTING COMPANY.
112
00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:58,133
I SUPPOSE THAT'S BECAUSE WE
DIDN'T INVITE ANYBODY OVER.
113
00:06:58,233 --> 00:06:59,567
MASON: WHAT'S ALL THAT?
114
00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,800
OH IT'S JUST SOME TEA
AND STALE BISCUITS.
115
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:03,567
GOOD, I'M STARVING.
SO AM I.
116
00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:06,100
TWO WATERS AND A MENU WHEN
YOU GET A CHANCE, PLEASE.
117
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,667
[DOORBELL RINGS]
118
00:07:07,767 --> 00:07:09,500
HELLO, DARLING.
119
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,433
I WAS JUST POPPING BY TO SEE
IF I COULD BORROW SOMETHING.
120
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,600
WHAT?
121
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,100
A SOFA AND A TELEVISION.
122
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,633
IT SEEMS MINE WEREN'T
COMPLETELY PAID FOR.
123
00:07:18,733 --> 00:07:21,667
MASON:
HELLO, VIOLET, WHY DON'T
YOU JOIN US FOR TEA?
124
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:23,233
THAT SOUNDS LOVELY.
125
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:26,100
YOU KNOW EVERYONE
AT THIS PLACE.
126
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,700
I FEEL THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK
127
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:29,933
YOU, MASON.
128
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:33,533
YOU MEAN HOW AM I AFTER
MY TRIPLE BYPASS?
129
00:07:33,633 --> 00:07:36,267
NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
130
00:07:36,367 --> 00:07:38,833
WHAT ARE ALL THOSE
SHOPPING BAGS, STUART?
131
00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:40,567
IS THAT FROM BURBERRY?
132
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,733
NO. IT SAID SAINSBURY.
133
00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:51,400
YOUR EYES ARE GOING.
134
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,633
[DOORBELL RINGS]
135
00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:56,000
MAYBE NOW IS A GOOD TIME FOR
EVERYONE TO START GATHERING
136
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,067
THEIR THINGS.
137
00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:01,067
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL
HAPPENED TO YOU?
138
00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:03,967
I GOT INTO A BIT OF A SCRAPE.
139
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:07,600
SOME OF THOSE KIDS
ARE REAL WANKERS.
140
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:08,967
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
141
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,667
YEAH.
142
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:12,500
I GOT ONE OF THEM
BACK BIG TIME,
143
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,500
BUT NOW I NEED TO
FIND ANOTHER JOB.
144
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,100
APPARENTLY YOU'RE
NOT ALLOWED TO HIT
7-YEAR-OLDS EVEN IF
145
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,200
THEY HIT YOU FIRST.
146
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,733
DID YOU GET A MENU YET?
147
00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:26,400
WELL, I SHOULD GO UPSTAIRS
AND EAT THAT HALF
A BANANA I WAS SAVING.
148
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:27,533
YES, OFF YOU GO!
149
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:30,900
ASH, DON'T LEAVE. WE'RE
ALL ABOUT TO HAVE TEA.
150
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,100
OH!
151
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,667
NO, NO. SOMETIMES STUART
AND I WOULD LIKE TO BE ALONE.
152
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,567
DID ANY OF YOU EVER
THINK OF THAT?
153
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:40,667
NO.
154
00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:41,967
FREDDIE'S RIGHT.
155
00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:44,533
WE'RE NOT HERE JUST
TO SERVE YOU PEOPLE.
156
00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:47,033
THAT'S AN AWFUL ATTITUDE
TO HAVE IF YOU'RE RUNNING
157
00:08:47,133 --> 00:08:49,133
A RESTAURANT.
158
00:08:49,233 --> 00:08:53,100
VIOLET: IS THAT CAVIAR ON
THOSE BISCUITS, STUART?
159
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,367
SINCE WHEN CAN
YOU AFFORD CAVIAR?
160
00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:58,133
STUART:
NO, THAT'S NOT CAVIAR.
161
00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:01,333
I, UM...I SNEEZED.
162
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,067
IT'S SNOT.
163
00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:06,967
FREDDIE: WELL, WE DON'T
WANT TO KEEP YOU, VI.
164
00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:09,100
YOU PROBABLY WANT TO GET
BACK HOME SO YOU CAN SIT
165
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,933
ON THE FLOOR AND
WATCH THE WALL.
166
00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:13,500
ARE THOSE BOTTLES OF
CHAMPAGNE OVER THERE?
167
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,667
WHY? DO YOU WANT TO USE ONE
TO SMASH OVER THE HEAD
168
00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:18,300
OF A TODDLER?
169
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,067
THERE ARE LOTS OF EXPENSIVE
THINGS HERE LATELY, DARLING.
170
00:09:21,167 --> 00:09:22,400
[DOORBELL RINGS]
171
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:24,500
STUART: I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT BOTH OF YOU ARE SAYING.
172
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:29,267
WE HAVE TOLD YOU ALREADY
WE DO NOT HAVE ANY MONEY.
173
00:09:29,367 --> 00:09:32,567
I'VE GOT TWO DOZEN
LOBSTERS FOR STUART BIXBY.
174
00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:34,100
LOBSTERS?
175
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,667
SHIT, THIS IS GONNA
COST A FORTUNE!
176
00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:42,400
WE'RE GOING THROUGH
THIS MONEY VERY QUICKLY.
177
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,100
BALTHAZAR'S HAIR IMPLANTS
MIGHT HAVE BEEN ONE
178
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,333
EXPENSE TOO MANY.
179
00:09:48,633 --> 00:09:52,133
THE NICE THING ABOUT
PENELOPE THINKING THIS
WAS A RESTAURANT
180
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:55,333
WAS THAT SHE PAID FOR
HER OWN LOBSTER.
181
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:58,667
AND SHE LEFT ME A GOOD TIP.
182
00:09:58,767 --> 00:10:02,133
THAT MAKES ME
RATHER LIKE HER.
183
00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:06,067
FREDDIE, I HAVE A
CONFESSION TO MAKE.
184
00:10:06,167 --> 00:10:08,633
NO, PLEASE, DON'T BE ANGRY.
185
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,733
I'VE PUT MONEY INTO
BOTH VIOLET'S AND ASH'S
186
00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:13,033
BANK ACCOUNTS.
187
00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:14,400
YOU DID WHAT?
188
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,133
WELL, I KNOW WE SAID WE'D
JUST SPEND IT ON OURSELVES,
189
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:19,667
BUT THEY'RE FAMILY.
190
00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:22,300
I ONLY GAVE THEM HALF, THOUGH.
WE STILL HAVE HALF LEFT.
191
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,900
NO, WE DON'T.
192
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,167
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
193
00:10:26,267 --> 00:10:29,367
I DID THE SAME THING.
194
00:10:29,467 --> 00:10:32,167
OH, NO!
195
00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:36,100
SO HOW MUCH DOES
THAT LEAVE US WITH?
196
00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:40,967
MINUS £200.
197
00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:42,167
[SIGHS]
198
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:47,200
SO I SUPPOSE
WE'RE BROKE AGAIN.
199
00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:54,400
YOU KNOW WHAT
DOESN'T COST ANYTHING?
200
00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:05,400
TWICE?
201
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,333
IN ONE WEEK?
202
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:18,333
WELL, WE ARE NEWLYWEDS.
203
00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:32,467
FREDDIE, THE POST HERE!
204
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:35,767
YOU'VE GOT LOTS OF
BIRTHDAY CARDS!
205
00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:37,767
GOD KNOWS WHY.
206
00:11:37,867 --> 00:11:42,167
EVERYBODY ALWAYS
MAKES SUCH A BIG DEAL
OUT OF MY BIRTHDAY.
207
00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:46,500
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I WISH
I WASN'T SO BELOVED...
208
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,167
LIKE YOU.
209
00:11:48,267 --> 00:11:52,100
I THINK YOU'RE REALLY
GOING TO LIKE MY PRESENT
THIS YEAR.
210
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,233
REALLY? AND WHAT DID YOU
BUY ME WITH MY MONEY?
211
00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:58,167
YOU ALWAYS LOVE MY PRESENTS.
212
00:11:58,267 --> 00:12:01,767
I'M ALWAYS GOOD AT BIRTHDAY
PRESENTS JUST AS YOU ARE
213
00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:04,400
ALWAYS GOOD AT
BEING AN ARSEHOLE.
214
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,767
YUCK.
215
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:17,700
YUCK.
216
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,900
WHAT'S THIS? HMM?
217
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,567
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FREDDIE.
218
00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:26,367
"WITH LOVE FROM THE CAST AND
CREW OF 'DOWNTON ABBEY.'"
219
00:12:27,967 --> 00:12:33,133
OH, THAT WAS NICE OF
THEM TO REMEMBER YOU.
220
00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:36,133
WELL, OF COURSE
THEY REMEMBER ME.
221
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,733
I DID APPEAR IN TWO EPISODES.
222
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:41,033
I WAS PRACTICALLY
A SERIES REGULAR.
223
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:43,900
ARE WE REALLY COUNTING
THE SECOND EPISODE?
224
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,333
AND WHY WOULDN'T WE?
225
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:48,167
WELL THEY ONLY SHOWED
ONE OF YOUR ARMS.
226
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,800
YES, BUT I WAS
CARRYING ORANGES,
227
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:53,167
AND IN THE FIRST
EPISODE IT WAS POTATOES.
228
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:56,333
AN OBSERVANT VIEWER COULD
DEDUCE WHO WAS ATTACHED
229
00:12:56,433 --> 00:12:57,567
TO THAT ARM.
230
00:12:57,667 --> 00:13:01,767
"ATTACHED" IS A PRETTY
STRONG WORD CONSIDERING
IT COMES OUT
231
00:13:01,867 --> 00:13:04,600
OF ITS SOCKET ABOUT
6 TIMES A DAY.
232
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,633
WHY DO I EXPECT YOU TO
UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE
233
00:13:07,733 --> 00:13:09,167
BEING ON TELEVISION?
234
00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:14,133
THE MOST EXCITING THING
YOU DO EACH DAY IS
PICK UP DOG CRAP.
235
00:13:14,233 --> 00:13:15,533
[DOORBELL RINGS]
236
00:13:15,633 --> 00:13:17,133
WATCH IT, FREDDIE.
237
00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:20,800
IF IT WASN'T YOUR BIRTHDAY,
I'D KICK YOU SO HARD
238
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:23,333
IN THE BALLS RIGHT NOW.
239
00:13:25,633 --> 00:13:26,967
HELLO, DARLING.
240
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:29,300
I JUST POPPED BY TO WISH
FREDDIE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
241
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,733
OH.
242
00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:32,367
AND TO TELL YOU MY NEWS.
243
00:13:32,467 --> 00:13:34,300
OOOH, WHAT NEWS?
244
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,367
I'M A LESBIAN!
245
00:13:38,533 --> 00:13:41,800
WELL, YOU CAN'T BE ANY
WORSE AT IT THAN BEING
246
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,967
A HETEROSEXUAL.
247
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,067
THAT WAS MY
THINKING, TOO.
248
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:50,233
AND I'VE ALREADY MET THE MOST
FANTASTIC WOMAN ON THE TUBE.
249
00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:53,067
DO YOU MIND IF I BRING
CARLOTTA ROUND TONIGHT
250
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,700
FOR YOUR PARTY, FREDDIE?
251
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:55,967
WELL, WHY NOT?
252
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:57,967
WE DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER
ENTERTAINMENT PLANNED.
253
00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,667
[DOORBELL RINGS]
254
00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:02,733
YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO
KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT
LESBIANS DO, WOULD YOU?
255
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,400
I DON'T.
256
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,200
NOR DO I WANT TO.
257
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:07,967
HI!
258
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:09,533
HELLO, ASH!
259
00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:11,000
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FREDDIE!
260
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,433
THANK YOU, ASH.
261
00:14:12,533 --> 00:14:15,300
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
AS A TOTAL SLUT?
262
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,933
IT'S FOR ME NEW JOB.
I'M A LIFEGUARD.
263
00:14:19,033 --> 00:14:20,500
DO I LOOK OK?
264
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:24,333
I CAN'T TELL ANYMORE, DARLING,
SINCE I'M A LESBIAN NOW.
265
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,467
SEE? NOTHING.
266
00:14:31,733 --> 00:14:34,133
WHEN DID YOU BECOME
A LESBIAN?
267
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:36,133
WHAT TIME IS IT?
268
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:38,133
[DOORBELL RINGS]
269
00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:41,567
IF YOU WANT TO BORROW
ANYTHING, VI,
MOST OF STUART'S
270
00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:45,367
CLOTHES ARE APPROPRIATE
FOR AN AGING LESBIAN.
271
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,400
STUART: HELLO, MASON.
272
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:51,300
VIOLET: HELLO, DARLING.
I'M A LESBIAN.
273
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,300
OH, SPLENDID.
274
00:14:54,533 --> 00:14:57,333
HAVE ANY OF YOU SEEN PENELOPE?
SHE SEEMS TO HAVE DISAPPEARED.
275
00:14:57,433 --> 00:15:00,367
NO, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HER,
BUT WE'LL CALL IF WE DO.
276
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:01,967
AREN'T YOU GOING
TO INVITE ME IN?
277
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,000
YEAH, IT'S REALLY FULL
IN HERE ALREADY.
278
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:08,733
[WHISTLING]
279
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:17,700
LOOKING
PRETTY GOOD, ASH.
280
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,133
THANKS A LOT.
281
00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:20,967
REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.
282
00:15:21,067 --> 00:15:23,433
ALL EYES ARE ON YOU WHEN
YOU STRUT BY THAT POOL.
283
00:15:23,533 --> 00:15:25,567
YOU OWN THAT POOL.
284
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:26,800
YOU'RE RIGHT.
285
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,700
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT
I'M RIGHT!
286
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,833
YOU'RE A STUD!
287
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:32,600
CAN I HAVE A CUP OF TEA?
288
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:34,767
AAAAAAAAH!
289
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,333
PENELOPE!
290
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,233
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
291
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,133
I'M NOT SURE EXACTLY.
292
00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:49,367
I WAS OUT WITH MASON
AND THEN I WAS HERE.
293
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,767
CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?
294
00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:55,133
OK.
295
00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:58,133
SOMETIMES I
FORGET LITTLE THINGS,
296
00:15:58,233 --> 00:16:03,133
BUT I'D BE HORRIFIED IF
ANYBODY EVER NOTICED.
297
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:06,100
YEAH, DON'T WORRY. I
DON'T THINK THEY HAVE.
298
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,700
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE I
USUALLY DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB
299
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,633
OF COVERING IT UP.
300
00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:17,067
SO LISTEN, PENELOPE,
I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF
301
00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:19,433
YOU KEPT WHAT YOU
HEARD JUST BETWEEN US.
302
00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:20,767
OF COURSE, SWEETHEART.
303
00:16:20,867 --> 00:16:22,567
YOU KNOW I THINK
YOU'RE A LOVE.
304
00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:23,667
THANK YOU.
305
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:26,300
BUT THAT BLOKE YOU WERE
TALKING TO SOUNDED LIKE
306
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,600
A REAL TOSSER.
307
00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:32,133
LET'S SEE, WHAT
SHALL WE DO NEXT?
308
00:16:32,233 --> 00:16:36,000
HOW ABOUT A TOAST
TO FREDDIE?
309
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,333
ARE THERE
ANY OTHER CHOICES?
310
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,700
I'D LIKE TO MAKE A TOAST.
311
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,867
WHAT THE HELL IS
THIS GOING TO BE?
312
00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:47,567
TO OUR DEAR FREDDIE.
313
00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:51,733
A WONDERFUL ACTOR AND
EVEN BETTER FRIEND!
314
00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:53,733
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
315
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:56,367
OH. THAT WAS NORMAL.
316
00:16:57,867 --> 00:17:00,800
WAIT TILL YOU SEE
MY PRESENT!
317
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:05,133
STUART ALWAYS GIVES FREDDIE
THE MOST INCREDIBLE GIFTS.
318
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:08,267
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
I LOVE YOU, BABE?
319
00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:09,600
EW.
320
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,100
YOU BETTER TAKE CARE
OF MY GIRL OR YOU'LL
HAVE TO
321
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,867
ANSWER TO ME.
322
00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:18,467
I AM A LIFEGUARD, SO...
323
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:21,133
SO?
324
00:17:21,233 --> 00:17:23,133
WHO IS THIS
LITTLE TWERP?
325
00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:25,333
JUST SOMEONE
I USED TO SHAG.
326
00:17:32,367 --> 00:17:35,300
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE
HOW I FEEL ABOUT SHARING
327
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,133
YOU, VIOLET.
328
00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:39,167
OOH!
329
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,567
YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER!
330
00:17:41,667 --> 00:17:43,167
THANK YOU, DARLING.
331
00:17:43,267 --> 00:17:45,867
HE WAS GETTING
RATHER AGGRESSIVE.
332
00:17:45,967 --> 00:17:50,000
FREDDIE:
ASH, GET UP, STOP DRAWING
ATTENTION TO YOURSELF.
333
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,467
WHERE'S THE HOT
STUD NOW, EH?
334
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:54,567
STRUTTING ROUND THE
POOL ALL EYES ON YOU.
335
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:57,133
YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD HIM
GOING ON BEFORE, YOU'D THINK
336
00:17:57,233 --> 00:18:00,600
THE SUN SHONE
OUT OF HIS ARSE.
337
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:01,867
IT WAS SICKENING.
338
00:18:01,967 --> 00:18:05,633
STUART: I'LL GO
GET YOUR PRESENT NOW.
339
00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:10,633
ASH, WOULD YOU
PASS ME THAT LARGE
CARD OVER THERE?
340
00:18:10,733 --> 00:18:12,300
THAT HURT.
341
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,167
OH, IT'S FROM THE CAST AND
CREW OF "DOWNTON ABBEY"!
342
00:18:18,267 --> 00:18:19,533
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TELL
YOU NOT TO READ IT.
343
00:18:19,633 --> 00:18:23,133
NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS.
I'M COMPLETELY MORTIFIED.
344
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:26,100
THEY SENT YOU A CARD FOR
BEING ON THE SHOW ONCE?
345
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,867
FREDDIE:
I WAS ON THE SHOW TWICE.
346
00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:29,700
I WAS PRACTICALLY
A SERIES REGULAR.
347
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,700
MASON: OH, YES,
THE ORANGES.
348
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,967
HOW COULD I FORGET?
349
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:37,367
DIDN'T YOUR ARM GET
NOMINATED FOR A BAFTA?
350
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,567
DON'T BE SUCH A DICK.
351
00:18:41,667 --> 00:18:43,133
HERE IT IS!
352
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:46,667
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FREDDIE!
353
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,500
OH, IT'S A PHOTO ALBUM.
354
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,900
OH, NOT ANY PHOTO ALBUM.
355
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:02,133
EACH PAGE IS A PHOTO
OF EVERY BIRTHDAY
OF YOURS THAT WE'VE
356
00:19:02,233 --> 00:19:03,633
SPENT TOGETHER.
357
00:19:03,733 --> 00:19:05,067
OH, I SEE.
358
00:19:05,167 --> 00:19:08,100
SO IF I FLIP THROUGH THIS
REALLY FAST, I CAN AGE 50 YEARS
359
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,667
IN 3 SECONDS.
360
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:12,100
HOW CHARMING.
361
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,733
OH, STUART, WHAT A
THOUGHTFUL PRESENT.
362
00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:17,600
WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING
LIKE THAT, BABE.
363
00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:20,100
WELL, WE'VE ONLY KNOWN
EACH OTHER TWO HOURS,
364
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,000
BUT ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
365
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:24,333
THE LAST PAGE IS BLANK.
366
00:19:24,433 --> 00:19:25,800
YEAH, WELL,
THAT'S FOR TODAY.
367
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,167
I WANT TO GET A PICTURE
OF ALL OF US TOGETHER
TO PUT THERE.
368
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:32,033
YOU SWEAR YOU'LL
NEVER LEAVE ME.
369
00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:35,733
SCOUT'S HONOR, DARLING.
370
00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:38,767
WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY
POPPING OUT AND GETTING ME
371
00:19:38,867 --> 00:19:40,100
SOME CIGGIES?
372
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,333
I'M ON IT, BABE.
RIGHT.
373
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:48,533
YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER, OR
I'LL RIP YOUR TINY ARMS OFF!
374
00:19:48,633 --> 00:19:50,333
OK, OK.
375
00:19:54,933 --> 00:20:01,033
[LAUGHING]
LIKE I'M SCARED OF HER.
376
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,967
IS SHE STILL THERE?
377
00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:06,333
NOT SUCH A BIG MAN WITHOUT
YOUR MIRROR, ARE YOU?
378
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:13,100
WELL, I THINK IT'S
FINALLY OVER WITH CARLOTTA.
379
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,933
I TRIED BUT SOMETHING'S
MISSING.
380
00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:17,367
A PENIS?
381
00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:24,767
I THINK SHE HAS
ONE OF THOSE.
382
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:29,167
AT LEAST YOU GAVE
IT A GOOD GO.
383
00:20:29,267 --> 00:20:32,300
COME ON, LET'S ALL
GATHER ROUND FOR A PHOTO.
384
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,800
MASON, WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE THE PICTURE?
385
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,967
BUT IF I TAKE
THE PICTURE, THEN
I WON'T BE IN IT.
386
00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:41,800
THAT'S OK.
387
00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:47,333
YEP, YEP.
388
00:20:47,433 --> 00:20:48,767
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
389
00:20:48,867 --> 00:20:50,800
YOU ALL LOOK LIKE SHIT.
390
00:20:52,233 --> 00:20:54,833
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF MY PRESENT?
391
00:20:54,933 --> 00:20:56,167
IT'S VERY NICE.
392
00:20:56,267 --> 00:20:58,133
ON A SCALE
OF 1 TO 10?
393
00:20:58,233 --> 00:20:59,900
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
394
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,167
IF YOU HAD TO PICK.
BUT I DON'T HAVE TO PICK.
395
00:21:02,267 --> 00:21:03,967
VIOLET: OH, I DON'T LIKE
WHERE THIS IS HEADING.
396
00:21:04,067 --> 00:21:05,900
I DO.
STUART: COME ON, PICK!
397
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,700
3, 4,
SOMEWHERE IN THERE.
398
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,133
OH!
399
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:11,033
ASH, WATCH YOUR DRINK.
400
00:21:11,133 --> 00:21:13,633
IT'S VERY CLOSE TO MY
"DOWNTON ABBEY" BIRTHDAY CARD.
401
00:21:13,733 --> 00:21:18,167
MAGGIE SMITH PICKED THAT
OUT FOR ME... PROBABLY.
402
00:21:18,267 --> 00:21:21,733
I SPENT MONTHS ON THAT
PRESENT. ALL YOU CAN DO IS
403
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:23,567
TALK ABOUT THAT STUPID CARD!
404
00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:26,300
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU ALWAYS LOVE MY PRESENTS.
405
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,133
NO, YOU ALWAYS
LOVE YOUR PRESENTS.
406
00:21:29,233 --> 00:21:32,667
THEN WHY HAVE YOU ALWAYS
ACTED LIKE YOU DID?
407
00:21:32,767 --> 00:21:34,000
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
408
00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:37,167
I SUPPOSE BECAUSE I CAN SEE
HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO YOU.
409
00:21:37,267 --> 00:21:40,333
I THINK THAT COULD BE THE
SWEETEST THING YOU'VE EVER
410
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:42,167
SAID TO ME.
411
00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:47,800
MASON:
UGH! TWO MEN KISSING.
IT'S UNNATURAL.
412
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:49,333
BUT, MASON.
HMM?
413
00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:50,800
AREN'T YOU GAY?
414
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:56,933
YES.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
415
00:21:57,033 --> 00:21:58,900
NOTHING.
416
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,367
SHOULD WE HAVE CAKE NOW?
417
00:22:00,467 --> 00:22:01,767
PENELOPE: OOH!
418
00:22:01,867 --> 00:22:03,167
I HOPE SOMEONE
STARTED LIGHTING
419
00:22:03,267 --> 00:22:05,133
THE CANDLES YESTERDAY.
420
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:12,000
THAT WAS NASTY.
421
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:15,133
SORRY. I'M NOT HAVING
A GREAT DAY.
422
00:22:15,233 --> 00:22:16,767
[DOORBELL RINGS]
423
00:22:16,867 --> 00:22:18,433
NOBODY ANSWER THAT.
424
00:22:18,533 --> 00:22:20,400
[RINGING CONTINUES]
425
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:22,767
CARLOTTA:
I'VE GOT YOUR SMOKES, BABE!
426
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,800
BABE?!
427
00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:30,133
HOW LONG ARE WE GOING
TO STAY LIKE THIS?
428
00:22:30,233 --> 00:22:32,633
AS LONG AS WE HAVE TO.
429
00:22:32,733 --> 00:22:34,367
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
430
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:39,433
WELL, THAT WAS A
WONDERFUL EVENING.
431
00:22:39,533 --> 00:22:43,333
THANK YOU FOR A LOVELY
BIRTHDAY, STUART.
432
00:22:43,433 --> 00:22:45,733
AND VI?
YES?
433
00:22:45,833 --> 00:22:47,367
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
434
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,600
I'M GIVING CARLOTTA
THE EVENING TO MOVE HER
435
00:22:50,700 --> 00:22:51,867
THINGS OUT.
436
00:22:51,967 --> 00:22:53,167
SHE WAS LIVING WITH YOU?!
437
00:22:53,267 --> 00:22:55,867
LESBIANS MOVE
QUICKLY, DARLING.
438
00:22:55,967 --> 00:22:58,033
WELL,
I'M GOING TO TURN IN.
439
00:22:58,133 --> 00:22:59,633
NIGHT, ALL.
440
00:22:59,733 --> 00:23:02,167
GOODNIGHT, BALTHAZAR.
441
00:23:02,267 --> 00:23:06,533
OH, AND STUART, WOULD YOU TAKE
MY CARD TO BE FRAMED TOMORROW?
442
00:23:06,633 --> 00:23:09,300
I WANT TO HANG IT WHERE I
CAN SEE IT EVERY DAY.
443
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,333
OF COURSE.
444
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:15,700
WELL... I GUESS IT TURNS OUT
YOU DON'T GET FREDDIE
445
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,767
THE PERFECT GIFT AFTER ALL.
446
00:23:17,867 --> 00:23:20,567
OH, YES, I DO.
447
00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:22,767
I SENT HIM THAT CARD.
448
00:23:29,667 --> 00:23:32,700
I WAS THINKING OF
GETTING A FACE-LIFT.
449
00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:40,967
WHAT DO YOU
THINK, VI?
450
00:23:41,067 --> 00:23:43,233
THAT'S NOT MY CUP OF TEA.
451
00:23:43,333 --> 00:23:46,633
WELL, EXCUSE ME FOR
WANTING TO IMPROVE MYSELF!
452
00:23:46,733 --> 00:23:49,167
IF ANYBODY'S GOING TO GET
A FACE-LIFT AROUND HERE,
453
00:23:49,267 --> 00:23:51,167
IT SHOULD BE YOU!
454
00:23:51,267 --> 00:23:55,733
I MEANT THAT'S NOT
MY CUP OF TEA. THAT IS.
455
00:23:55,833 --> 00:23:57,367
OH.
456
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:04,367
YOU LOOK GREAT,
BY THE WAY.
457
00:24:05,833 --> 00:24:08,533
OH, I'M WORRIED
ABOUT BALTHAZAR.
458
00:24:08,633 --> 00:24:12,633
HE JUST SNEEZED AND
3 TEETH FELL OUT.
459
00:24:12,733 --> 00:24:14,133
OH, THAT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL.
460
00:24:14,233 --> 00:24:17,100
I DID THE SAME
THING YESTERDAY.
461
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,700
DO YOU KNOW, BOYS, I
WAS CONSIDERING TAKING
462
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,767
A TRIP TO ITALY.
463
00:24:21,867 --> 00:24:23,000
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
464
00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:24,700
OH, NOW'S NOT
A GOOD TIME, VIOLET.
465
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,567
WE'VE GOT SO MUCH
COMING UP.
466
00:24:26,667 --> 00:24:27,733
LIKE WHAT?
467
00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:32,033
WELL, I--I CAN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING AT THE MOMENT,
468
00:24:32,133 --> 00:24:34,500
BUT WE MIGHT NEED YOU
FOR SOMETHING.
469
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:35,600
[DOORBELL RINGS]
470
00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:37,733
WELL, THANKS FOR ASKING,
VI, BUT WE'D PREFER YOU
471
00:24:37,833 --> 00:24:39,233
TO STAY IN TOWN.
472
00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:41,533
WE'LL CHECK OUR DIARY
AND GET BACK TO YOU.
473
00:24:41,633 --> 00:24:43,700
OH, ALRIGHT.
474
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:44,867
HI!
475
00:24:44,967 --> 00:24:46,033
HELLO, ASH.
476
00:24:46,133 --> 00:24:47,300
HELLO, ASH!
477
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,133
I'VE GOT SOME
REALLY BIG NEWS!
478
00:24:49,233 --> 00:24:52,000
OH, COME IN, SIT DOWN.
479
00:24:52,100 --> 00:24:53,833
HERE, CAN I
GET YOU A DRINK?
480
00:24:53,933 --> 00:24:56,833
WE HAVE WATER OR TEA.
481
00:24:56,933 --> 00:25:00,033
ACTUALLY ONLY TEA,
THE TAP'S JUST BROKEN.
482
00:25:00,133 --> 00:25:01,733
FREDDIE: THAT'S EMPTY.
483
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:04,167
WE HAVE NOTHING.
484
00:25:04,267 --> 00:25:05,867
ASH:
I'M GOOD, THANKS.
485
00:25:05,967 --> 00:25:07,633
SO WHAT'S YOUR NEWS,
DARLING?
486
00:25:07,733 --> 00:25:10,167
I'M GOING TO UNIVERSITY!
487
00:25:10,267 --> 00:25:12,700
OH, THAT IS FANTASTIC!
488
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,933
CONGRATULATIONS, ASH!
489
00:25:15,033 --> 00:25:17,400
I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU
WERE GOING TO DO SOMETHING
490
00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:19,700
WITH YOUR LIFE.
491
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,500
I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO END UP LIKE...
492
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,333
[MUMBLING]
493
00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:29,333
PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE
HAVING A STROKE.
494
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,700
I COULD EVEN HELP YOU WITH
YOUR HOMEWORK, DARLING.
495
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,533
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
VERY GOOD AT MATHS.
496
00:25:38,633 --> 00:25:40,800
THAT'S THE ONE WITH ALL
THE NUMBERS, RIGHT?
497
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:43,067
ACTUALLY, I WON'T BE
GOING TO UNI NEARBY.
498
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:44,400
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
499
00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:47,167
WELL, YOU REMEMBER
HOW BOTH MY PARENTS
ARE IN PRISON?
500
00:25:47,267 --> 00:25:49,000
YEAH, WE REMEMBER.
501
00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:52,267
THAT IS SOMETHING THAT
TENDS TO STICK WITH YOU.
502
00:25:52,367 --> 00:25:57,100
WELL, I APPLIED FOR
A GRANT IN THE
STATES AND I GOT IT!
503
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,167
APPARENTLY I QUALIFY AS
A SPECIAL NEEDS CASE
504
00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:01,733
BECAUSE BOTH MY PARENTS
ARE INCARCERATED FOR
VIOLENT CRIMES.
505
00:26:01,833 --> 00:26:02,967
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
506
00:26:03,067 --> 00:26:05,700
FREDDIE: THE STATES?
THE UNITED STATES?
507
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,267
THAT PLACE OVER THERE?
508
00:26:07,367 --> 00:26:08,333
YEAH.
509
00:26:08,433 --> 00:26:12,367
BUT IT'S FILLED
WITH AMERICANS.
510
00:26:14,967 --> 00:26:16,933
I DATED ONE ONCE.
511
00:26:17,033 --> 00:26:19,967
THEY CAN BE QUITE PECULIAR.
512
00:26:20,067 --> 00:26:22,733
THEY ACTUALLY
HAVE SEX SOBER.
513
00:26:27,333 --> 00:26:29,133
I APPLIED AGES AGO.
514
00:26:29,233 --> 00:26:30,667
I DIDN'T EVEN THINK I
WAS GOING TO GET IT,
515
00:26:30,767 --> 00:26:33,133
BUT LUCKILY BOTH MY PARENTS
ARE BOTH SERVING SENTENCES
516
00:26:33,233 --> 00:26:35,233
FOR MANSLAUGHTER, SO
THAT HELPED A LOT.
517
00:26:35,333 --> 00:26:37,500
SO, WHERE'S THE
UNIVERSITY, DARLING?
518
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,033
IT'S IN NEW YORK.
STUART: NEW YORK?
519
00:26:40,133 --> 00:26:41,467
WELL, NOW, I FORGET.
520
00:26:41,567 --> 00:26:44,333
IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HAVE
THE BEST OF THE AMERICANS
521
00:26:44,433 --> 00:26:45,667
OR THE WORST?
522
00:26:45,767 --> 00:26:47,833
I THINK BOTH.
523
00:26:47,933 --> 00:26:50,633
AND THE GRANT IS FOR
ALL 4 YEARS!
524
00:26:50,733 --> 00:26:52,000
4 YEARS?!
525
00:26:52,100 --> 00:26:54,700
OH, I SEE.
526
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,733
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU
WANT TO DO...
527
00:26:57,833 --> 00:27:00,200
STUART: YES,
IT'S YOUR DECISION.
528
00:27:00,300 --> 00:27:02,733
IT'S NOTHING
TO DO WITH US.
529
00:27:02,833 --> 00:27:04,133
I--I MEAN, I'M
530
00:27:04,233 --> 00:27:06,267
NOT DEFINITELY
TAKING IT YET.
531
00:27:06,367 --> 00:27:08,000
OH, SO IT'S NOT
DEFINITE, THEN?
532
00:27:08,100 --> 00:27:10,133
WELL, NO,
I GUESS...
533
00:27:10,233 --> 00:27:12,700
YOU DO WHATEVER YOU
WANT. IT'S REALLY
534
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,100
NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.
535
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,733
WE ACTUALLY ARE PRETTY
BUSY TODAY, SO, UH...
536
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,100
OH, OK, UM...
537
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,400
I SHOULD GO ANYWAY.
538
00:27:28,933 --> 00:27:30,733
CONGRATULATIONS
AGAIN, ASH.
539
00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:32,500
THANKS, VIOLET.
540
00:27:34,733 --> 00:27:36,133
[DOOR CLOSES]
541
00:27:36,233 --> 00:27:39,467
YOU DON'T SUPPOSE HE'S
EVER GIVEN HIS PARENTS
542
00:27:39,567 --> 00:27:41,333
OUR ADDRESS, DO YOU?
543
00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:46,333
IF HE HAS, WE'RE
AS GOOD AS DEAD.
544
00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:50,700
MUM, SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
THERE'S A LOT OF SCREAMING
545
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,400
IN THE BACKGROUND.
546
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:54,633
IS THERE A PRISON
RIOT GOING ON?
547
00:27:56,167 --> 00:28:00,733
OH, SOMEBODY'S BROUGHT IN
SOME FREE CHICKEN FROM KFC?
548
00:28:00,833 --> 00:28:03,300
NO, NO, NO, YOU GO.
549
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:04,833
ENJOY.
550
00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:06,100
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
551
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,300
YEAH, I'LL TALK TO
YOU NEXT MONTH.
552
00:28:09,767 --> 00:28:12,100
AHEM. VIOLET.
553
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:13,500
HELLO, DARLING.
554
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,500
COME IN, SIT.
CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?
555
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:20,000
OH, ONLY IF YOU'RE HAVING ONE,
OTHERWISE NOTHING FOR ME.
556
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:21,367
I'M NOT.
557
00:28:21,467 --> 00:28:24,300
OH, I STILL WANT ONE.
I'LL HAVE ONE, TOO.
558
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:31,000
DARLING, THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
559
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,267
THIS IS ABOUT NEW
YORK, ISN'T IT?
560
00:28:34,367 --> 00:28:36,100
YES.
561
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,033
WHY IS THE BOTTLE ALL
THE WAY OVER THERE?
562
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,167
DON'T WORRY.
563
00:28:45,267 --> 00:28:47,133
I'VE DECIDED
I'M NOT GOING.
564
00:28:47,233 --> 00:28:48,567
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
565
00:28:48,667 --> 00:28:49,900
WELL, I SAW HOW--
566
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,467
BOTH BOTTLES, NO?
567
00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:58,133
I SAW HOW FREDDIE AND STUART
REACTED WHEN THEY FOUND OUT
568
00:28:58,233 --> 00:29:00,733
HOW FAR AWAY I WAS GOING TO
BE AND I REALIZED I COULDN'T
569
00:29:00,833 --> 00:29:02,367
LEAVE THEM.
570
00:29:02,467 --> 00:29:04,233
OH, ASH...
571
00:29:04,333 --> 00:29:06,633
I WANT TO BE
THERE FOR THEM, VIOLET.
572
00:29:06,733 --> 00:29:09,767
BESIDES, IT WAS STUPID
TO THINK THAT I COULD MAKE
573
00:29:09,867 --> 00:29:11,500
A LIFE FOR MESELF
IN NEW YORK.
574
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:12,933
NO, IT WASN'T.
575
00:29:13,033 --> 00:29:16,033
BUT I THOUGHT YOU
WANTED TO TALK TO ME
TO GET ME TO STAY.
576
00:29:16,133 --> 00:29:17,400
QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
577
00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:19,433
I'M HERE TO
MAKE SURE YOU GO.
578
00:29:21,300 --> 00:29:22,533
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
579
00:29:22,633 --> 00:29:27,733
LISTEN, DARLING, DON'T YOU
KNOW HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE?
580
00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:30,733
NO.
581
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,067
NOBODY'S EVER SAID THAT
I WAS SPECIAL BEFORE.
582
00:29:36,167 --> 00:29:38,000
OH, BUT YOU ARE, ASH.
583
00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:41,633
THAT'S WHY WE ALL
LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
584
00:29:41,733 --> 00:29:44,933
THAT'S WHY FREDDIE AND STUART
DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE.
585
00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:47,700
THEY WANT TO KEEP THE
THINGS THEY LOVE THE MOST
586
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:49,867
CLOSEST TO THEM.
587
00:29:49,967 --> 00:29:51,700
THAT'S WHY I'VE NEVER
MOVED FURTHER THAN A FEW
588
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:55,133
STREETS AWAY...
589
00:29:55,233 --> 00:29:58,167
IN OVER 50 YEARS.
590
00:29:58,267 --> 00:30:00,300
AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO
END UP LIKE THAT.
591
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,300
MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO GO.
592
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,133
MAYBE I WANT TO STAY
HERE WITH ALL OF YOU.
593
00:30:05,233 --> 00:30:06,400
NO, YOU CAN'T STAY WITH US.
594
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:10,567
YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE
LIFE WAITING FOR YOU.
595
00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:17,200
OOH, YOU'RE GONNA BE
SOMETHING SO MARVELOUS, ASH.
596
00:30:17,300 --> 00:30:19,367
PROMISE ME YOU'LL GO.
597
00:30:21,033 --> 00:30:24,067
YOU MUST PROMISE ME.
598
00:30:29,833 --> 00:30:31,500
I'M SORRY.
599
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:35,333
GOOD. VERY GOOD.
600
00:30:35,433 --> 00:30:37,533
NOW, SHALL WE GET
BLIND DRUNK?
601
00:30:37,633 --> 00:30:39,367
I'D LIKE THAT.
602
00:30:46,867 --> 00:30:48,167
STUART: LET'S SEE...
603
00:30:48,267 --> 00:30:52,733
I'VE PACKED HIM EXTRA SOCKS,
UM, A THICK JUMPER BECAUSE IT
604
00:30:52,833 --> 00:30:56,167
GETS COLD OVER THERE, AND
I BAKED HIM HIS FAVORITE
605
00:30:56,267 --> 00:30:57,767
BISCUITS FOR THE PLANE.
606
00:30:57,867 --> 00:30:59,400
PERFECT.
607
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:03,667
THIS WAY HE CAN USE THEM AS
WEAPONS IF HE GETS MUGGED.
608
00:31:03,767 --> 00:31:06,700
DID YOU HIDE THE EXTRA CASH
IN THERE FOR HIM, STUART?
609
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:07,933
UH, Y-YES, I DID.
610
00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:09,200
AND THE SCARF I KNITTED?
611
00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:12,333
YOU ONLY GAVE ME
A BALL OF WOOL.
612
00:31:14,333 --> 00:31:17,133
I KEPT MEANING TO
GET ROUND TO IT.
613
00:31:17,233 --> 00:31:18,733
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE
BOTH DITHERING ABOUT LIKE
614
00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:20,133
2 MONKEYS ON CRACK.
615
00:31:20,233 --> 00:31:23,600
ASH IS MOVING. I MEAN,
IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.
616
00:31:23,700 --> 00:31:25,033
OH, FREDDIE...
617
00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:26,533
[DOORBELL RINGS]
618
00:31:26,633 --> 00:31:28,867
THAT'S HIM.
619
00:31:28,967 --> 00:31:30,833
FREDDIE, YOU KNOW
IT'S ALL RIGHT TO--
620
00:31:30,933 --> 00:31:33,333
VI, PLEASE.
621
00:31:33,433 --> 00:31:35,333
HI.
622
00:31:35,433 --> 00:31:37,367
HELLO, ASH.
623
00:31:39,733 --> 00:31:42,367
HI, FREDDIE.
HELLO.
624
00:31:43,700 --> 00:31:45,333
ALL SET, DARLING?
625
00:31:45,433 --> 00:31:46,700
I THINK SO.
626
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:48,567
COME, SIT.
HAVE SOME TEA.
627
00:31:48,667 --> 00:31:50,067
I DON'T THINK I'VE GOT TIME.
628
00:31:50,167 --> 00:31:51,733
MY FLIGHT LEAVES IN
A FEW HOURS.
629
00:31:51,833 --> 00:31:53,167
STUART: OH.
630
00:31:53,267 --> 00:31:56,600
WELL, WE'VE, UH, PACKED
YOU A SMALL BAG WITH SOME
631
00:31:56,700 --> 00:31:58,767
OF THE THINGS WE
THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NEED.
632
00:31:58,867 --> 00:32:00,367
DIDN'T WE, FREDDIE?
633
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:02,967
YOU DIDN'T
HAVE TO DO THAT.
634
00:32:03,067 --> 00:32:05,933
VIOLET:
AND I KNITTED YOU A SCARF.
635
00:32:06,033 --> 00:32:07,700
OOH, LET ME
TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
636
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:09,767
OH, LOOK AT IT
IN NEW YORK.
637
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,333
WELL...
638
00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:18,767
I GUESS
THIS IS GOOD-BYE.
639
00:32:20,233 --> 00:32:21,500
VIOLET,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT--
640
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:25,800
OH, COME NOW. WE'RE GONNA
SEE EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME.
641
00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:27,067
YEAH.
642
00:32:27,167 --> 00:32:30,733
I'LL GO TO AMERICA.
YOU'LL COME VISIT.
643
00:32:30,833 --> 00:32:32,400
IT'LL BE JUST LIKE ALWAYS.
644
00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:33,600
RIGHT.
645
00:32:33,700 --> 00:32:36,067
SO, IT'S NOT REALLY
GOOD-BYE AT ALL, IS IT?
646
00:32:36,167 --> 00:32:38,800
NO, I GUESS NOT.
647
00:32:38,900 --> 00:32:40,367
OF COURSE NOT.
648
00:32:50,100 --> 00:32:51,333
GOOD-BYE.
649
00:32:51,433 --> 00:32:53,533
HAVE YOU GOT
YOUR PASSPORT?
650
00:32:53,633 --> 00:32:56,167
AND YOUR TICKETS?
651
00:32:56,267 --> 00:32:58,733
AND YOUR PAPERS
FOR THE UNIVERSITY?
652
00:32:58,833 --> 00:33:00,000
AND YOUR--AND--
653
00:33:00,100 --> 00:33:03,367
YES, I'VE
GOT EVERYTHING.
654
00:33:06,767 --> 00:33:08,733
THANK YOU, STUART.
655
00:33:13,300 --> 00:33:14,600
FREDDIE?
656
00:33:17,567 --> 00:33:19,233
BEST OF LUCK, ASH.
657
00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:22,867
RIGHT.
658
00:33:22,967 --> 00:33:24,533
THANKS.
659
00:33:26,833 --> 00:33:28,000
[SNIFFS]
OK.
660
00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:30,200
WELL, I GUESS THIS IS IT.
661
00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:32,733
I'LL SEE YOU SOON,
DARLING.
662
00:33:32,833 --> 00:33:35,233
IT'LL BE LIKE
YOU NEVER LEFT.
663
00:33:35,333 --> 00:33:37,033
YEAH.
664
00:33:37,133 --> 00:33:39,033
LIKE I NEVER LEFT.
665
00:33:42,233 --> 00:33:43,367
BYE.
666
00:33:47,267 --> 00:33:48,767
[STUART SNIFFLING]
667
00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:53,400
WHAT NOW?
668
00:33:55,267 --> 00:34:00,900
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
YOU TWO, BUT I'VE DECIDED
TO GO TO ITALY.
669
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,667
OH?
670
00:34:03,767 --> 00:34:05,400
I'M GLAD.
671
00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:08,333
WELL, NOW THAT THAT'S
ALL OVER SHALL WE--
672
00:34:12,033 --> 00:34:13,733
[SOBBING]
673
00:34:39,867 --> 00:34:41,367
WELL...
674
00:34:48,367 --> 00:34:51,600
[STUART IN HIGH
VOICE] FREDDIE, TEA!
675
00:34:51,700 --> 00:34:56,167
HOW IS IT YOUR VOICE IS
GETTING HIGHER PITCHED?
676
00:34:56,267 --> 00:34:58,767
SOON ONLY DOGS WILL BE
ABLE TO HEAR IT.
677
00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:03,167
I SEE YOU TOOK YOUR
FUCKING BITCH PILLS BEFORE
678
00:35:03,267 --> 00:35:04,800
GOING TO SLEEP.
679
00:35:10,367 --> 00:35:11,833
I'M SORRY.
680
00:35:11,933 --> 00:35:17,100
THIS CHRISTMAS RADIO DRAMA
I'M RECORDING TODAY WITH
DAME EILEEN ATKINS
681
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,533
HAS GOT MY NERVES
A BIT FRAYED.
682
00:35:19,633 --> 00:35:24,333
AND SHE HAS DONE SO MANY
EXTRAORDINARY THINGS...
683
00:35:25,633 --> 00:35:28,167
NONE OF WHICH I CAN
THINK OF AT THE MOMENT, UM...
684
00:35:28,267 --> 00:35:30,067
WELL, OF COURSE
YOU'RE NERVOUS.
685
00:35:30,167 --> 00:35:32,800
YOU DID GET THE PART AT
THE VERY LAST MINUTE.
686
00:35:32,900 --> 00:35:36,300
I FOUND OUT FROM MY AGENT THAT
WAS BECAUSE I WASN'T THEIR
687
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:37,867
FIRST CHOICE.
688
00:35:37,967 --> 00:35:40,333
YOU WERE THEIR
SECOND CHOICE?
689
00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:43,767
THIRD?
690
00:35:43,867 --> 00:35:46,133
UH...36th.
691
00:35:46,233 --> 00:35:47,700
[DOORBELL RINGS]
692
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,767
I DIDN'T EVEN THINK
THERE WERE 35 ACTORS OF
YOUR AGE STILL ALIVE.
693
00:35:51,867 --> 00:35:55,367
THERE AREN'T.
MOST OF THEM TURNED IT
DOWN BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.
694
00:35:56,733 --> 00:35:58,133
HELLO, DARLING!
695
00:35:58,233 --> 00:36:01,067
I'VE BEEN OUT CHRISTMAS
SHOPPING ALL DAY.
696
00:36:01,167 --> 00:36:03,633
OH! AND WHO ARE ALL
THE PRESENTS FOR?
697
00:36:03,733 --> 00:36:05,700
ME.
698
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,300
FREDDIE: HELLO, VI.
YOU LOOK...
699
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:12,567
HELLO, VI.
700
00:36:12,667 --> 00:36:16,100
SO, DARLING, A RADIO
DRAMA WITH EILEEN ATKINS
701
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:17,733
FOR CHRISTMAS.
702
00:36:17,833 --> 00:36:19,133
HOW THRILLING.
703
00:36:19,233 --> 00:36:20,600
WHAT'S THE ROLE?
704
00:36:20,700 --> 00:36:25,333
AN OLD MAN WHO HAS NEVER
MADE MUCH OF HIS LIFE.
705
00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:29,400
I DIDN'T HAVE TO
LOOK FAR FOR INSPIRATION.
706
00:36:32,233 --> 00:36:36,333
HE WAS THEIR
36th CHOICE!
707
00:36:36,433 --> 00:36:38,133
[DOORBELL RINGS]
708
00:36:38,233 --> 00:36:40,867
VIOLET: SO WHO'S
EILEEN ATKINS PLAYING?
709
00:36:40,967 --> 00:36:43,633
I DON'T KNOW. I'VE
JUST READ MY PART.
710
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:46,733
HI.
711
00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:48,300
HELLO. CAN I HELP YOU?
712
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,733
I JUST WANTED TO
INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I'M OLIVER.
713
00:36:50,833 --> 00:36:52,133
I'M RENTING
THE FLAT UPSTAIRS.
714
00:36:52,233 --> 00:36:55,133
I'M STUART. THIS IS MY
HUSBAND FREDDIE AND THIS IS
715
00:36:55,233 --> 00:36:56,733
OUR FRIEND VIOLET.
716
00:36:56,833 --> 00:36:58,933
HELLO, DARLING.
717
00:36:59,033 --> 00:37:01,133
WOULD YOU--
718
00:37:01,233 --> 00:37:03,733
OH. WELL, IT WAS A
PLEASURE MEETING YOU.
719
00:37:03,833 --> 00:37:06,300
THANKS FOR DROPPING
BY, OLIVER.
720
00:37:08,767 --> 00:37:10,267
OOH, HE SEEMED NICE.
721
00:37:10,367 --> 00:37:12,267
YES.
722
00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:16,533
I SHOULD BE OFF.
723
00:37:16,633 --> 00:37:19,333
DON'T WANT TO KEEP
THE DAME WAITING.
724
00:37:21,033 --> 00:37:26,667
YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO
TAKE MY "DOWNTON ABBEY"
BIRTHDAY CARD
725
00:37:26,767 --> 00:37:28,433
TO SHOW HER.
726
00:37:28,533 --> 00:37:32,567
LET HER KNOW THAT I'M
SOMEBODY, TOO.
727
00:37:39,867 --> 00:37:42,833
SOMETIMES HE
BREAKS MY HEART.
728
00:37:42,933 --> 00:37:48,700
FREDDIE, AS ALBERT:
MY, YOU CERTAINLY LOVE YOUR
ROCKING CHAIR, ROSEMARY.
729
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:53,833
[ROCKING CHAIR CREAKING]
730
00:37:53,933 --> 00:37:55,200
EILEEN, AS ROSEMARY:
I DO, ALBERT.
731
00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:58,500
ALMOST AS MUCH AS OUR CAT.
732
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,133
[CAT MEOWING]
733
00:38:00,233 --> 00:38:04,133
ALBERT: ROSEMARY,
A CAR IS PULLING UP!
734
00:38:04,233 --> 00:38:06,300
[CAR APPROACHING]
735
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,667
I CAN'T TELL WHO
IT IS, ROSEMARY.
736
00:38:11,767 --> 00:38:13,267
WAIT.
737
00:38:13,367 --> 00:38:15,267
CAN IT BE?
738
00:38:15,367 --> 00:38:16,667
IS IT?
739
00:38:16,767 --> 00:38:17,800
[GLASS BREAKS]
740
00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:22,267
I GOT SO EMOTIONAL I KNOCKED
THE VASE THAT WAS ON THIS
741
00:38:22,367 --> 00:38:24,167
TABLE OVER.
742
00:38:24,267 --> 00:38:26,400
THAT'S WHAT THAT SOUND WAS.
743
00:38:26,500 --> 00:38:29,667
ROSEMARY:
I'M GOING TO OPEN THE
DOOR AND SEE WHO IT IS.
744
00:38:29,767 --> 00:38:30,900
[DOOR CREAKING]
745
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,567
OH, ALBERT!
746
00:38:32,667 --> 00:38:36,533
IT'S LUCAS, OUR SON, WHOM
WE HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS.
747
00:38:36,633 --> 00:38:41,133
ALBERT, SOBBING: LUCAS!
GIVE YOUR MOTHER A KISS!
748
00:38:41,233 --> 00:38:43,133
I'M SO HAPPY, ALBERT.
749
00:38:43,233 --> 00:38:48,833
LISTEN, DO YOU HEAR
THE CHURCH BELLS?
750
00:38:48,933 --> 00:38:50,333
[BELLS CHIMING]
751
00:38:53,667 --> 00:39:00,333
AND THEY'RE PLAYING "OUR SON
COMES HOME FOR CHRISTMAS."
752
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,600
IT WAS ALL RATHER CONVINCING,
753
00:39:06,700 --> 00:39:10,233
AS IF WE WERE THERE IN
THE ROOM WITH YOU...
754
00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:12,733
WHETHER WE WANTED
TO BE OR NOT.
755
00:39:15,767 --> 00:39:18,433
YES, WELL DONE.
756
00:39:18,533 --> 00:39:22,300
NOW I'M ABOUT TO COUGH.
[COUGHS]
757
00:39:24,633 --> 00:39:27,300
THAT WAS THE SOUND
YOU JUST HEARD.
758
00:39:31,867 --> 00:39:37,700
I MUST NEED GLASSES BECAUSE I
COULDN'T SEE A THING, BUT IT...
759
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,100
IT SOUNDED LOVELY.
760
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,600
STUART:
I MUST CHECK ON DINNER.
761
00:39:42,700 --> 00:39:45,533
OH, JUST SO YOU ALL KNOW,
WE HAD LOTS OF YOGURT THAT
762
00:39:45,633 --> 00:39:50,900
EXPIRES TOMORROW SO THAT'S
GOING TO BE FEATURED HEAVILY.
763
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,367
EVERYTHING HERE
IS TERRIBLE.
764
00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:57,700
THERE YOU GO!
765
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:02,200
MERRY CHRISTMAS, BALTHAZAR.
766
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:03,700
NEED ANY HELP, DARLING?
767
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:05,167
OH, THAT
WOULD BE TERRIFIC.
768
00:40:05,267 --> 00:40:06,933
UH, WHAT IS IT
YOU LIKE TO DO?
769
00:40:07,033 --> 00:40:10,267
WATCH?
770
00:40:10,367 --> 00:40:11,933
FINE.
771
00:40:12,033 --> 00:40:15,167
OH, THAT IS ADORABLE.
772
00:40:15,267 --> 00:40:17,567
ARE YOU CERTAIN
HE'S STILL ALIVE?
773
00:40:17,667 --> 00:40:20,400
NOT 100%.
774
00:40:22,233 --> 00:40:24,133
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NEVER TO
LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY BROTHER
775
00:40:24,233 --> 00:40:26,100
AND THAT LOONY.
776
00:40:27,100 --> 00:40:30,400
SORRY YOU'RE DIVORCED AND
HAVE NOBODY THIS
777
00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:31,633
CHRISTMAS, VI.
778
00:40:31,733 --> 00:40:34,167
WELL, I HAVE BOTH OF YOU.
779
00:40:34,267 --> 00:40:36,167
AND IT'S KIND OF LIKE
THE THREE OF US ARE
780
00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:37,700
MARRIED ANYWAY.
781
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,367
NO, IT'S NOT.
782
00:40:40,167 --> 00:40:42,233
MASON?
YES?
783
00:40:42,333 --> 00:40:44,900
IS IT CHRISTMAS?
YES.
784
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,333
I REMEMBER BECAUSE
MY SON CALLED ME.
785
00:40:47,433 --> 00:40:48,367
HOW LOVELY.
786
00:40:48,467 --> 00:40:52,467
YES, HE ALWAYS CALLS ME
ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
787
00:40:52,567 --> 00:40:58,633
MY MEMORY HASN'T
BEEN... WELL, YOU KNOW.
788
00:40:58,733 --> 00:41:00,767
CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?
789
00:41:00,867 --> 00:41:02,067
CERTAINLY YOU CAN.
790
00:41:02,167 --> 00:41:05,500
I'M FRIGHTENED.
791
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:07,333
I'M HERE, MY DEAR.
792
00:41:08,767 --> 00:41:10,333
DON'T WORRY.
793
00:41:22,100 --> 00:41:23,767
THANK YOU.
794
00:41:29,533 --> 00:41:32,567
WELL, STUART HAS ALMOST
FINISHED MURDERING DINNER.
795
00:41:32,667 --> 00:41:35,067
AND WHAT HAVE YOU TWO
BEEN TALKING ABOUT?
796
00:41:35,167 --> 00:41:36,733
ABOUT WHAT A MARVELOUS
TIME WE'VE BEEN HAVING.
797
00:41:36,833 --> 00:41:38,167
MASON: YES.
798
00:41:38,267 --> 00:41:39,433
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, PENELOPE?
799
00:41:39,533 --> 00:41:42,833
I'M WONDERFUL, VIOLET.
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED CHRISTMAS.
800
00:41:42,933 --> 00:41:44,367
SO HAVE I.
801
00:41:44,467 --> 00:41:48,333
MASON, DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN
OUR MOTHER USED TO SING
802
00:41:48,433 --> 00:41:49,700
CAROLS TO US?
803
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,167
OF COURSE.
804
00:41:51,267 --> 00:41:53,600
SHE HAD
A BEAUTIFUL VOICE.
805
00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:55,367
OH, YES.
806
00:42:00,900 --> 00:42:03,067
AND THEN SHE BEAT US.
807
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:07,333
SHE WAS A MONSTER.
808
00:42:10,233 --> 00:42:15,133
I REALLY HOPE
EVERYBODY LIKES YOGURT.
809
00:42:15,233 --> 00:42:16,700
[DOORBELL RINGS]
810
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,133
WHO CAN THAT BE?
811
00:42:18,233 --> 00:42:20,133
WELL, IF IT'S SOMEONE
COLLECTING FOR CHARITY,
812
00:42:20,233 --> 00:42:23,500
POLITELY TELL
THEM TO PISS OFF.
813
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,600
HI.
814
00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:27,067
OH, HELLO, OLIVER.
815
00:42:27,167 --> 00:42:29,133
I JUST STOPPED BY TO WISH
YOU BOTH A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
816
00:42:29,233 --> 00:42:30,567
PLEASE, COME IN.
817
00:42:30,667 --> 00:42:32,800
IF YOU'RE SURE
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
OF COURSE.
818
00:42:32,900 --> 00:42:34,500
UH, YOU KNOW FREDDIE.
819
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,767
AND THIS IS
PENELOPE AND MASON.
820
00:42:36,867 --> 00:42:38,300
HELLO, SWEETHEART.
821
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:39,333
MM, HELLO.
822
00:42:39,433 --> 00:42:41,333
AND YOU REMEMBER
OUR FRIEND VIOLET.
823
00:42:41,433 --> 00:42:42,533
HELLO, DARLING.
824
00:42:42,633 --> 00:42:43,967
HI.
825
00:42:44,067 --> 00:42:45,733
WELL, JOIN US.
826
00:42:45,833 --> 00:42:47,367
YES, SIT.
827
00:43:00,933 --> 00:43:03,333
YOUR HAND IS ON MY THIGH.
828
00:43:03,433 --> 00:43:04,800
IS IT?
829
00:43:06,233 --> 00:43:08,433
CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?
830
00:43:08,533 --> 00:43:10,700
I'M OK, THANKS.
831
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,033
VIOLET!
832
00:43:12,133 --> 00:43:13,667
OH, SORRY.
833
00:43:15,100 --> 00:43:17,567
I DON'T MEAN TO STARE, BUT...
834
00:43:17,667 --> 00:43:21,333
ARE YOU FREDDIE THORNHILL
FROM "DOCTOR WHO"?
835
00:43:34,733 --> 00:43:36,233
GUILTY AS CHARGED,
OLIVER!
836
00:43:38,300 --> 00:43:41,133
HERE I AM JUST SPENDING
A QUIET CHRISTMAS WITH MY
837
00:43:41,233 --> 00:43:45,367
FAMILY, AND WELL I GUESS
I'VE BEEN DISCOVERED.
838
00:43:47,133 --> 00:43:53,167
BY THE ONE PERSON WHO'S
EVER RECOGNIZED HIM.
839
00:43:53,267 --> 00:43:55,733
I AM A MASSIVE FAN.
840
00:43:55,833 --> 00:43:57,367
BUT YOU MUST GET
THAT ALL THE TIME.
841
00:43:57,467 --> 00:43:59,667
I DO.
842
00:43:59,767 --> 00:44:02,167
BUT HOW KIND
OF YOU TO SAY.
843
00:44:02,267 --> 00:44:08,033
SO, YOU MUST TELL US ALL
ABOUT YOURSELF, OLIVER.
844
00:44:08,133 --> 00:44:10,333
WE WANT
TO KNOW EVERYTHING.
845
00:44:19,233 --> 00:44:21,333
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
FREDDIE.
846
00:44:23,767 --> 00:44:25,333
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
847
00:44:30,767 --> 00:44:32,333
MERRY CHRISTMAS, BALTHAZAR.
848
00:44:47,833 --> 00:44:49,367
[SNORING]
849
00:45:03,867 --> 00:45:07,567
STUART, STOP SNORING!
850
00:45:07,667 --> 00:45:10,333
THAT'S NOT ME.
851
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,333
VIOLET:
SORRY, DARLINGS!
852
00:45:21,067 --> 00:45:24,367
GEEZ, I'D FORGOTTEN
SHE WAS HERE.
853
00:45:24,467 --> 00:45:29,900
SEE, IT IS A LITTLE
LIKE WE'RE ALL MARRIED.
854
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:33,767
YOU HAVE TO STOP
SAYING THAT.
855
00:45:39,333 --> 00:45:41,400
STUART?
856
00:45:41,500 --> 00:45:43,133
YES?
857
00:45:43,233 --> 00:45:45,333
WILL YOU HOLD ME?
858
00:46:01,700 --> 00:46:05,733
I'M SO HAPPY.
59362
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