Original subtitles

["Upstairs Downstairs"]

[clock ticking]

[light footsteps]

[newspaper rustling]

[watch ticking]

[bell ringing]

- That'll be them now.

- Oh, Hudson.

- Yes, sir?

- Get some champagne, will you?

The uh, special reserve.

- Very good, sir.

- Oh!

Mrs. Kirbridge has had a daughter.

- Oh, really, sir, that's very nice, sir.

- Yes, a daughter.

[crashing and thumping]

- Well.

- Well!

- I still wish she hadn't chosen to have it

in that dreadful nursing home.

- Well you know Elizabeth and her

fashionable unfashionable ideas.

- So much more agreeable at home.

What's so wrong with having it at home?

- Because everybody does, my dear.

- Nursing homes are so antiseptic and impersonal.

- Avant garde.

Have you seen a small notebook?

- Thank heavens it was an easy birth.

I shudder to think what a lot of perfect strangers

would have done if there'd been any complications.

- Well the perfect strangers are the people trained

to cope with such exigencies.

A little black notebook.

I've written a draft notice for the Times.

- It's not the same thing at all.

Anyway it's a lovely little baby.

- Yes.

Glad it wasn't a boy.

- Why?

- Different responsibility, oh, very different.

Now, there are complications.

- Perhaps.

- Schools, careers, much more public altogether.

- Girls can be hidden away, forgotten?

- Well, they are easier to handle.

Ah!

Yes.

Girls are better.

- It's a little baby girl.

- And that's all?

- That is the information that was imparted to me, yes.

- Isn't that just like a man?

Doesn't know what the baby's weight is, nor nothing.

- Nor if her mother was all right, just as important.

Didn't you even hear if Miss Elizabeth was all right?

- No, Sarah, Mr. Bellamy simply said "Kindly fetch

"some special reserve, Hudson, it's a little baby girl."

- Oh, men!

- Honestly.

-[Edward] Can't we have some champagne, Mr. Hudson?

I mean we should wet the baby's head as well.

- Quite right, Edward!

- Fetch the special reserve!

- I think a drop of beer might be in order, a drop, Edward.

Oh, and while I remember, you can fetch that perambulator

from the front hall and put it out in the area

before somebody falls over it.

-[Edward] Yes, just right, sir.

- And Edward.

-[Edward] Yes, Mr. Hudson?

- You may bring a quart of beer.

-[Edward] Oh, yes, Mr. Hudson!

- After all, yes, it is a bit of an occasion.

- A bit of an occasion?

- Bet it was more than a bit of an occasion

when you arrived, Mr. Hudson.

- [chuckles]

- We're only born once, you know, Mr. Hudson.

- I don't recall much of it myself, Mrs. Bridges.

I was very young at the time.

[laughing]

- Oh, Mr. Hudson!

You old wag.

- Here we are then, the very best reserve, mild and bitter.

- So we can drink Miss Elizabeth's health, and um ...

- And?

We don't even know her name!

- Lucy Elizabeth, the full name?

I think just Lucy.

-[Lady Marjorie] Well read it out again.

- Kirbridge on the 17th inst., at the Helham Nursing Home,

to Elizabeth, the wife of Lawrence Arthur Kirbridge,

a daughter, Lucy.

- Hmm, I think you're right.

Yes, that is better.

Ah, Hudson, thank you.

- Well now I am not so sure.

A daughter, Lucy Elizabeth?

- Oh, Richard.

- Well it's awfully important to get these things right.

Let's ask Hudson.

Hudson, Lucy Elizabeth or just plain Lucy?

- Oh, they're both very pretty names, sir,

for a little girl.

- Yes, absolutely.

Well I think just plain, unvarnished Lucy

is best for this occasion.

- I trust she'll be neither plain, nor unvarnished

as a young lady, sir.

- That's very good, Hudson.

- Very good, Hudson, yes, that will be all.

- Thank you, sir.

- Oh, Hudson?

-[Hudson] Yes, my lady?

- Nanny Webster will be arriving on Friday.

That doesn't give you much notice, I'm afraid,

but we thought she ought to settle in

before Mrs. Kirbridge comes home with the baby.

You all know each other,

it won't be like a new nanny coming.

She met Sarah, too, down at Southwold, so ...

Is something troubling you, Hudson?

- Oh, no, my lady, it's ...

It's just that I thought perhaps Nanny Webster had retired.

- You mean you hoped she had.

- I beg your pardon, sir?

- Nothing'll keep old Nanny from an addition to the family.

- No, my lady.

- Friday then, perhaps you'd tell the other servants.

- Very good, my lady.

-[Richard] Have a bottle of champagne downstairs.

- Oh, thank you very much, sir.

- To welcome the baby.

- Sir.

- And Nanny Webster.

- Yes, sir.

- I can feel the house beginning to shake already.

- I'm glad it was a little girl.

'Cause the clothes!

It'll really dress a little girl.

- Most women want boys, I can tell you that, my girl.

Most women wouldn't say thank you for a girl, not first go.

- Well in the circumstances it's probably just as well.

- Well I like girls!

Sugar and spice and all things nice, eh, Miss Roberts?

- Well she's hardly chosen the most convenient time.

With Rose away, one has hardly time to turn 'round.

- Well you don't have to worry about turning 'round,

Miss Roberts, there's no one after you!

- I think there ought to have been more babies

born into this household.

I could do with a drop of that every day.

Keep me going. [laughs]

- Wouldn't mind if there's one born every minute.

I'd look after 'em all.

I'll be the best nursery nurse in the whole world.

- Maid, Sarah, nursery maid, that's what you're trained as.

- Not a nurse, Sarah, that's medical!

- And you're a domestic.

- I must write and tell Rose, tell her all about it.

She'll be furious she was away missing everything like that.

Oh, I won't half look after that little baby.

- I'm sure you'll be an excellent nursery maid, Sarah.

- Miss Elizabeth won't half be proud!

- Doubtless you'll be of great help to the nanny.

- There ain't gonna be no nanny!

- No?

- Miss Elizabeth never made no mention of no nanny.

- Are you kept especially informed of every move?

- Well what was all that training for if it wasn't

for looking after babies?

- For helping, Sarah, nurse maids are there

to help the nanny.

- No mention was made.

- Well you obviously know best.

- Yes!

Anyway.

I've got something to do, if you'll excuse me.

- As if a family like this would do without a nanny.

- I wonder who the baby's like.

Like her mother, I'll be bound.

- Like a little monkey.

- Oh, Edward.

- Really, Edward.

- Well it's only a baby!

- And you were never one yourself I suppose.

- [imitates a chicken] You're like a couple of old chickens.

- No doubt he was born like that.

- [imitates a chicken]

- Oh, well, I've got too much work to do.

I can can't keep on all this to'in and fro'in and ...

- To'in and fro'in?

I can see we're gonna have some of your tiddlycakes, Mrs. B.

[laughs]

- That's enough of your cheek!

- [laughs]

- Ooh!

-[Bridges] Whatever did you think?

- Yes!

Well.

What do you think of this then?

-[Edward] Blimey!

- Blimey's right, what's all that, my girl?

- This is my official uniform, that's all that is.

My official nurse maid's uniform.

- My official nurse maid's uniform!

- Oh, shut up.

-[Bridges] Well you won't be needing it yet a while.

- Not be needing it?

My official duties start--

-[Bridges] Go and take it off.

- From the day the baby's born!

-[Bridges] Go and take it off!

- Got to get upstairs and get all the nursery--

- Miss Elizabeth will not be home for at least another week.

- We're short handed as it is so, go and take it off!

-[Sarah] Mrs. Bridges, I would remind you that I am--

- There is work to be done in the linen room.

- I would remind you, Mrs. Bridges, that I'm no longer

employed in the capacity of linen room help, but--

- Airs and graces!

Really, some people.

- As Miss Elizabeth's direct help in the nursery.

- Poppycock.

A nursery maid's just as much of a servant as any of us.

- Well that's not what they said when they trained me.

- Well I haven't got time to sit here arguing with you,

I've got something better to do.

- Miss Elizabeth will not be home for at least another week.

- In my official uniform!

- [screeching] Oh, Ed!

I spent all that time on it!

- Ladies. - Really.

- Just before you return to your prospective duties,

the master has decided--

- To chop off our heads!

- That's quite enough, Edward.

Some strong tea for you, I think.

No, the master has permitted us a bottle of champagne

to wet the new baby's head.

- Oh, that's very nice!

- Furthermore, a new member of the staff

is about to join us.

Fetch some glasses, Edward.

Well, not quite a new member in fact,

someone who is in fact, familiar to most of us.

Nanny.

- I had to ring twice!

I hope this is not a symptom of domestic disorder.

- Certainly not, Nanny, you merely anticipated me.

- I had to ring for you twice!

I see you've taken to wearing spectacles, Hudson.

Of course, you're getting on, now.

- I only need them for close work, Nanny.

- Really.

These small London houses.

I hope everything is in order, Hudson.

For instance, while I was waiting

for you to answer the door,

I had time to notice the baby's perambulator in the area.

Now, that hardly seems the place for it.

It'll rust in wet weather.

Kindly see that it's brought up and kept here

in the front hall in future.

- I shall see to it at once.

- Yes, I see I shall have my work cut out, as usual.

Well?

May we not proceed?

It's disconcerting enough to be

kept waiting interminably outside.

- Her ladyship will receive you in the morning room, Nanny.

Nanny Webster, my lady.

- Oh, thank you, Hudson.

Send Sarah up to me, will you?

- Very good, my lady.

- Fancy leaving a perambulator in the area.

Ah, my lady.

- Edward.

-[Edward] Yes, Mr. Hudson?

- The area is hardly the most suitable place

for the perambulator.

- But Mr. Hudson, you just told me--

- Why don't you bring it up here into the front hall?

- But Mr. Hudson, you t--

- At once, Edward.

- You may find Sarah somewhat high-spirited at first.

Do sit down, Nanny.

- Thank you, my lady.

- You remember her of course, from Southwold.

I'm afraid she was rather, well, unfortunate.

- Unfortunate, yes, m'lady.

Have you got your corsets off?

- Nanny.

Well whatever she was or might have been,

she's very keen on helping to bring up the baby.

I think you'll find her enthusiasm quite touching.

- Well I don't want to concern myself with her feelings.

I merely wished for somebody to help

with the menial tasks around the nursery.

You know it can't be good for you

to be without your corsets.

- No, but it's much more comfortable.

Ah, Sarah, come in.

- You wanted me, m'lady?

-[Lady Marjorie] You remember Nanny Webster of course,

from Southwold.

- Oh, yes m'lady.

- You take your time.

Hmph, absurd.

Quite absurd.

Hmph, absurd.

I suppose this was perpetrated by one of those

fashionable modern decorators.

Quite unsuitable.

- This is the night nursery.

- Well, I know!

What are these?

- They're feeding bottles.

- Feeding bottles?

Well, we shan't be needing those for months.

Put them away.

- Oh yes we will, Miss Elizabeth's bottle feeding the baby.

- Is she indeed?

- Yes, Nanny.

- I shall have words with Madam when she returns.

A baby should always be fed by mother.

I suppose you approve of these fashionable modern notions.

Well?

Go down and fetch up the nursery lunch.

- But the baby's not even home yet!

She'll have her dinner down here with us.

- I tried to tell her that, Mrs. Bridges,

but she won't budge, honest.

- Who does she bloomin' well think she is?

Duchess of Southwold or something?

- She says from now on she's to have

all her meals in the nursery.

- Oh, well she can think again.

- And she said you were to cut all the fat off her meat!

- What?

If she imagines I've got nothing better to do--

- Now, what's all the trouble, Mrs. Bridges?

- Than sit around cutting the blooming fat off her meat ...

- She won't have her meals down here with us.

- Won't she?

- She must be mad.

- She's ever so determined.

Well, I said to her, as it is,

you know we're shorthanded ...

- Lady Muck is too grand to have

her dinner down here with us.

She hasn't changed.

- Perhaps for today, Sarah, just for today,

since Nanny's just arrived.

- Yes, I expect everything'll be alright

when Mrs. Kirbridge gets back.

- Welcome home, Mrs. Kirbridge.

- Thank you, Hudson, I must say, it's nice to be home.

Edward will you take my case up for me?

- Yes, madam.

- Can I have a peep, madam?

Ain't she lovely!

-[Elizabeth] That's what everyone keeps saying.

- She got a lot of hair!

I never realized they had so much hair.

She's ever so like you, madam.

- Rubbish, they all look like the late Queen, babies.

Where's my mother, Hudson?

- Oh, her ladyship is out, madam.

We weren't expecting you 'til tea time.

- Oh, I couldn't stand that place another moment.

There you are, Sarah, there's your charge.

I'm dying for a glass of sherry.

Will you take her up to Nanny for me?

- And how is it?

Isn't you little lambikins, eh?

Isn't she a little lambikins, Mr. Hudson?

- Oh, very nice.

Hello, baby.

Oh, she has got a lot of hair, hasn't she?

I had none at all when I was born, so I believe.

-[Sarah] Come on, now, we go upstairs.

- Give me that child.

- It's all right, Nanny--

- Give me that child.

- I've been waiting, my girl, waiting.

- I was just talking to Miss Elizabeth.

- It's not your place!

A girl the likes of you.

- Mind you a little looser,

you're holding her ever so tight!

- And don't be familiar with Baby.

She is Baby to you at all times.

You're no place to be familiar with Baby.

You ought to have nothing to do with her,

nothing at all, do you understand?

Nothing at all!

- Oh, at last, here they are.

- Priscilla, dear.

And Harriet.

I'm so sorry we've kept you waiting.

- Well, being conscientious godparents,

we were a little early, weren't we, Harriet?

- Morning, Priscilla, Harriet.

- A telegram arrived just as we were leaving.

I'm afraid my father's had another stroke.

- Oh, dear.

- I have to go back to Southwold again tomorrow.

Has the vicar not arrived yet?

- Well, we haven't seen anyone so far.

Should we go in, do you think?

- No, we were to meet outside.

- What do you think of your godchild, Priscilla?

- Delightful.

Does she bite?

Elizabeth looks frightfully well, doesn't she?

[horse hooves clopping]

- Lawrence, there was really no need for you to come.

- Just for the sake of appearances, that's all.

We must do things correctly.

What about afterwards, at Eaton Place?

There'll be champagne.

- I shan't let you down.

Good morning.

- Lady Marjorie.

Forgive my tardy appearance, our parish deacon delayed me.

Are we all gathered?

- Yes, I think we are.

- If we could start, Vicar,

I have to be back at Westminster by noon.

- Ah, yes, of course, affairs of state, what?

Well come on in, everybody,

and we will baptize this child without further delay.

- Oh lord, I do so hope I don't have to hold the infant.

I'm always so terrified it's head's

going to drop off, or something ghastly. [laughs]

[organ playing]

- Godparents?

Baby, splendid.

Need the baby.

And you'll be the father.

- I'll be the father.

No doubt about that.

- No doubt at all.

-[Vicar] Has this child been already baptized, or no?

- No.

- Dearly beloved,

for as much as all men are conceived and born in sin,

and that our savior, Christ, sayeth,

"None can enter into the Kingdom of God,

"Except he be regenerate and born anew,

"Of water and of the Holy Ghost."

I beseech you to call upon God the Father,

through our Lord, Jesus Christ.

That of his bounteous mercy, he will grant to this child,

that thing which by nature she cannot have,

that she may be baptized with water and the Holy Ghost,

and received into Christ's holy church,

and be made a lively member of the same.

- There, there, better you will be.

Oh, yes, oooh.

- Here, Nanny, I'll do that.

You don't want Mrs. Bridges best

gamon and parsley getting cold, do ya?

- What I want and don't want is a matter for myself,

and myself alone.

- Oh, Mrs. Bridges says you was extra partial to ga--

- Mrs. Bridges can hold her tongue about my partialities.

- Yes, Nanny.

- No, hold the corners, girl.

Don't just tumble them under the mattress

as if they was old handkerchiefs!

- No, Nanny.

- There.

There.

[cooing to baby]

Nah uh, be careful with those robes, girl.

They have to go back to Southwold.

Priceless things, those robes.

[sniffing loudly]

That is not a dress for Baby's afternoon walk!

I suppose you want to make everybody in Eaton Place

think we've gone down in the world!

If you think we can tolerate ironing like that

in the nursery you are making a big mistake.

- I spent half an hour on that yesterday!

- And I can only say I am sorry that you

have wasted half an hour!

- I'll iron it again.

- You will wash it again, that's what you'll do!

And you'll starch it, and iron it,

and go for it to nursery standards!

- Yes, Nanny.

- And next time you will remember that it is

silk for the afternoon.

- But Nanny, yesterday--

- Now don't be impertinent!

Giving back answers.

You're very lucky you're even allowed in a nursery.

A girl like you.

I can't eat this, it's cold!

I will not eat cold food.

I suppose I shall have to content meself with the custard,

as usual, we seem to live on nothing

but custard these days.

-[Baby] [crying]

Ah, ah, I will attend to Baby.

We've told you, we do not wish you to

handle Baby at any time.

You're here to assist, not to handle.

- I was only gonna rock her!

- Don't answer back!

-[Baby] [crying furiously]

And what are you doing with that?

You should be airing them!

- I was going to air--

- Things should always be aired before

putting them on the child.

-[Baby] [crying hysterically]

- There, there, come on, come to Nanny.

There we go, that's better.

There's Nanny's girl.

There, that's it. [gasps]

Well pass me that bottle, wherever it is.

There.

You clumsy, stupid girl!

Can't you do anything right?

You're lucky it wasn't broken!

- Nanny, it was you!

- Now listen to me, my girl.

One more instance of your impertinence,

one more instance of your appalling, slovenly ways,

and I'll have you dismissed.

Nursery maid indeed.

It's quite clear to me that you're more suited

to the scullery than to the nursery.

You should be washing dishes and scrubbing floors.

Just don't let me ever see you handling

this baby when my back is turned.

Not ever, do you understand?

-[Sarah] But Lady Marjorie--

- Not ever!

There's a good girl.

[knocking]

-[Elizabeth] What is it?

- Madam?

-[Elizabeth] Yes, Sarah what do you want?

- Well, well madam--

- I haven't much time, Sarah,

I do hope it's nothing important.

- Well it is a bit urgent, madam.

- You haven't chosen the best of moments, have you?

Oh, this wretched hair of mine!

- It's just that I think you ought to know what's going on,

if you see what I mean?

- No, I don't see what you mean.

Oh, I do miss Rose.

- Yes, madam.

Well, you see, it's about Nanny.

Well, that is, me and Nanny, really.

- Oh, dear, the very first evening I'm asked out

and there has to be some little drama.

I don't actually want to be bothered with it now, Sarah.

- I don't want to bother you, madam,

it's not that at all, it's about the baby!

- My measurements have gone back to

precisely what they were!

What do you think of that, Sarah?

Normally takes one months to recover one's figure

after having babies.

- Yes, madam, but um, getting back to Nanny,

it's not just that she's old, I mean,

there's nothing wrong in being just old,

but she don't seem to be able to manage proper.

As you would wish.

- My gloves.

- You see, madam, I don't think she's suitable

to look after a baby, not a little baby, really she isn't.

- And are you suitable to tell me?

Really, Sarah, who could be more suitable

to look after a baby than Nanny?

You're talking nonsense.

- I'm not, madam, I've seen here do things--

- Nanny Webster has been in this family

since my mother was born.

She brought me up, she brought up my brother,

she brought all of us up.

And if that doesn't make her suitable ...

- I'm just afraid she'll do something foolish.

- I hardly think she's the sort of person

to do something foolish.

Now would you get me my wrap?

And if you think that perhaps you are

more suitable than Nanny ...

My wrap.

I should have thought you would have been able to cope.

- I didn't know I'd have to cope with Nanny.

- I need a new dress.

I need lots of new dresses.

- Look, perhaps if you had a word with her, madam.

- Sarah, the very reason for Nanny Webster being here is

so that I do not have to keep going to have a word with her.

- It is your baby!

- My bag.

- You haven't hardly seen her since you come home.

- Pass me my bag.

- Not proper.

- Sarah.

- You don't really care about her, do ya?

- Stupid, impudent girl, get out of here!

- Yes, madam.

- My first evening out and you have to come sneaking here

to me with your wretched servant's tittle tattle.

You may go!

Oh, my wretched hair!

- Mmm, delicious, very good, thank you Mrs. Bridges.

- I don't know how I manage, all this to'in and fro'in.

- Fro'in and to'in.

- Meals in odd places.

Special orders.

Then half of its left!

As if my work wasn't hard enough.

- You manage because you're a saint, Mrs. Bridges.

- Did you see that blackberry and apple last night?

Came back untouched, untouched!

Might just as well have been moldy.

- Oh, it was a very nice pie, Mrs. Bridges,

one of your best!

- Absolutely Mr. Hudson. [burps]

Pardon.

- God's truth!

- Here comes the bearer of good tidings.

- Them stairs, I'll get fat legs!

- What's the damage tonight, then, Sarah?

What's the news from the battle front?

- She don't like gravy with a lot of fat in it,

Mrs. Bridges.

- What?

- And in future, she'd like a separate gravy, made special.

In a little jug.

- Oh.

She would, would she?

We'll soon see about that.

- Where are you going, Mrs. Bridges?

- To see Nanny about her special gravy.

- Now Mrs. Bridges--

- We'll soon see about that.

- Mrs. Bridges I'd much rather you did--

- This has nothing to do with you, Mr. Hudson.

Can't expect you to begin to understand how a

cook feels when she's been insulted!

Fatty gravy indeed!

- No, I'm quite sure I cannot possibly imagine

the pain you are feeling, Mrs. Bridges.

- And she left all the beautiful

gamon and parsley the other day.

- It's just a question of dignity.

- Yes.

And my dignity has been hurt, Mr. Hudson, I can tell you.

Nothing hurts a cook's dignity more than

chance remarks about her gravy.

- Oh, we all know what an excellent cook you are,

Mrs. Bridges and we all appreciate it.

But if Nanny Webster chooses to fiddle about with her

good food, that then is Nanny Webster's loss, not yours.

We don't want her to think that

she's getting the better of you.

- Oh, well, if you put it like that ...

- Let her stew in her own juices,

eh, Mrs. Bridges, not yours.

- That is the general idea, Edward, yes.

- Perhaps you're right.

Yes.

- Good.

- But I'm having no more special orders.

- You lot!

Honestly.

All you lot care about is whether Nanny

wants the fat cut off her meat

or whether she likes your stupid blackberry and apple tart.

- Such eloquence.

- Whether she's a fit and proper person

to look after a little baby ...

- And we thought that was your concern, Sarah,

your private territory.

- For all you lot care she could be standing it on it's

head and feeding it neat gin for all you lot care.

- Of course we all know how much you do, Sarah,

how much you care.

- Yes, you do, Miss Roberts.

- Sarah!

I've just been discussing the matter of one's dignity,

and Mrs. Bridges, being a woman of sufficient experience,

understood what I was talking about.

It does not enhance us as servants to lose our dignity,

and I would remind you, Sarah of that fact.

And I'm surprised I even need

mention it to you, Miss Roberts.

Now I want no more of this time wasting squabbling

between certain persons, no more of it, do you understand?

We've got a house to run.

We must make sure that it is run efficiently.

- That means a little baby's got to

learn to run efficiently.

- Sarah.

- So she can fit into your neat pattern of things,

in your lovely well-run household!

- Oh, Sarah, I've had quite enough of your melodramtics,

you dramatize everything quite out of proportion.

And since you're constantly reminding us of

how you're no longer in the employ of the kitchen floor,

I would be extremely grateful if you confine your dramas

to the floor where they belong, the nursery floor!

- Oh, you don't understand!

I am ...

[sobbing]

- And you can take that stupid look of your face, Edward.

- Now then, little Lucy.

First of all we're gonna soap you all over,

make you a nice, clean girl, eh?

That's right, now then.

We've got to rinse it all off.

Oops, ever so careful.

There you are.

Mind your head.

Ooh, that's nice, isn't it?

Have a little swim.

That's right, rinse it all off.

Don't wanna stay in too long, you'll get cold, won't ya?

Now then, mind your head, that's it.

There's a clever girl, there you are now.

Oh, is that nice, eh?

Now you're a pretty girl isn't ya?

When you grow up you're gonna be the

prettiest girl in all of Eaton Place.

You'll be a princess, marry a prince if there's one going.

Should we sing a little song, now eh?

Warm up.

♪ London Bridge is falling down,

♪ Falling down, falling down,

♪ London Bridge is falling down,

♪ My--

- I expressly told you you were to have

nothing to do with that child.

- It's all right, Nanny!

- It is not all right.

I'll have you dismissed!

- But Nanny it's all right, honestly.

- Give me that baby.

- Honestly, Nanny!

- Give me that ba ... [screams]

You stupid, clumsy girl!

- Yes.

Just as well I was only practicing.

If only her ladyship were home I could tell her.

- I've weighed out them raisins.

- She'd listen.

I could tell her, she'd understand.

- Oh, fuss, fuss.

- No, Mrs. Bridges, you've no idea what it's like up there.

- [derisive noise]

- Honestly, Mrs. Bridges, I'm afraid

to leave that baby alone!

With her.

- [cooing happily]

[clock ticking]

- We won't let any harm come to Baby, will we?

'Course we won't.

'Cause Nanny's looked after you all, hasn't she?

-[Baby] [coos happily]

- For nearly 50 years.

There's Lady Marjorie,

that's Granny!

Granny.

And his young lordship, and Uncle James,

and then Mummy, and now Baby Lucy.

-[Baby] [crying]

- Oh, we want our supper don't we.

Of course we do.

It must be getting late.

Oh dear, this room is so dismal.

We must have some more light on here in the suite,

we shan't be able to see what we're doing.

-[Baby] [crying angrily]

- All right, all right, love.

-[Baby] [crying]

- Don't seem to make much difference.

Gas was much more satisfactory.

Now, what was I gonna do?

Oh, yes.

If only that wretched, stupid girl

would leave everything ready.

If only she knew her job.

That's right.

[gasps]

'Twas only in odd patches at first.

Just odd patches.

-[Baby] [crying angrily]

All right, my love, Nanny's coming.

There, all right my pet, don't you worry.

-[Baby] [crying angrily]

- No.

Nanny's here, oh yes, there there.

Oh, dear, you're going to do your own crying,

that's a good girl.

There.

There, Nanny will look after you, won't she?

Just as she's looked after all the rest.

-[Baby] [cooing]

- Yes, there.

-[Baby] [cooing]

[crying]

- Yes, and you need Nanny, don't you my sweeting?

Yes.

You need Nanny, don't you?

There's a good girl.

-[Baby] [crying loudly]

- [groans sleepily]

-[Baby] [crying softly]

[knocking]

- Yes?

- Madam?

- Ah, Sarah!

Sarah, come in.

I feel just in the mood for a chat.

- Madam--

- Ah, I'm so bored up here!

Now, how is everything.

- Well, that's what I wanna talk to you about.

Everything, that is.

- Good, good, I'm just in the mood to hear

everything talked about.

- Yes, well--

- How's the baby?

- The baby?

The baby's fine.

- Good!

She's still taking her bottle all right?

- Yes, well--

- And you're managing better with Nanny now, I can see--

- Well, not exactly. - Sarah.

- That's what I wanna talk to you about.

- Not again.

No more tales from the nursery floor, please.

- They are not tales from the nursery floor, madam,

they're tales concerning your baby!

- Sometimes, Sarah, I find you most dreadfully sullen.

Particularly when I'm in the middle of such a good book.

- Oh, I'm sorry, madam.

Didn't mean your baby to interfere with your good book.

- Not only sullen, Sarah, but rather impertinent.

Because I agreed you should help look after the baby

doesn't follow that I agreed you should help

look after me as well.

- It's not that at all!

It's just ...

I love that little baby.

Like she was me own.

- You mean you'd like to make her your own.

- No!

- Well you can't because she's mine!

I'm sorry Sarah but I'm just very tired, still.

And I'm tired of people coming in and out of my room

all day long with various stupid theories about babies

and what to do with them and what not to do with them.

I'm just very tired still.

Perhaps you don't fully realize just how tired one feels

after you've had a baby.

- I know how you feel.

And it's because of that that I wanna make sure

that little Lucy's looked after

the way a baby should be looked after.

Because I do know how you feel.

- I'm sorry, Sarah.

That was very thoughtless of me.

I should've remembered.

- There's naught left to remember now.

- Tell me what's the matter.

- Well, ever so early this morning, I heard the baby crying,

so I crept down to the night nursery,

and I seen the baby lying there ...

- Now we got rid of all our nasty windies.

We go back in our cot, shall we?

Yes, of course we will.

What a good baby it is.

What a silly old Nanny we are, aren't we?

There, that's better, isn't it?

Now we'll have a good sleep--

- Nanny?

- [gasps] Oh, Elizabeth, how you startled me.

- Hello, Nanny.

- Nanny likes people to knock on the nursery door

before they come in.

It's essential for the avoidance of accidents.

Well, coming creeping into a room like that

can make something silly occur.

- Sorry, Nanny.

- Nursery discipline is nursery discipline,

and everybody must observe it.

- Yes, Nanny.

- Now, once you give in to one thing,

it's the foot in the door.

And a nursery can go downhill faster than anything.

One moment law and order, the next moment, chaos.

- Of course, Nanny, I understand.

- Mm. Nanny would be very surprised if you do.

Remembering your idea of tidiness,

I should be very surprised if you had a notion

of what I'm talking about.

- I do understand, Nanny, really I do.

- You've never been one for babies, have you, Elizabeth?

Other little girls loved their dollies, but not you.

You'd always be rather playing around with the dogs,

or clambering up trees.

And every Christmas your poor father would bring you

beautiful dolls, pretty as you could wish to see.

But they just sat on the nursery shelf gathering dust.

Complete waste of money.

- Perhaps Lucy might like all my old dolls.

- She might.

She has no daddy to buy them for her.

- Nanny, Nanny I was--

- You know, in my opinion, it was a great pity

about that business, Elizabeth, a nice young man like that

and you couldn't be happy with him.

- Nanny I did not come here to talk about--

- Things aren't always what we expect.

- I want to--

- Now, Nanny doesn't like people standing about

in the nursery gossiping, so I think it'd be just as well

if you were to go, now, Elizabeth.

- Nanny.

- We must allow nothing to interfere with nursery routine.

- I actually came to ask--

- Now run along, dear, and Nanny will bring Baby

down to see you after tea.

- I shall be out.

- Oh, well that's entirely your own affair.

As I said, you were never one for playing with your dollies.

- Nice to see you back, my lady.

Sir.

- You must be bored stiff with saying that, Hudson.

- Sir?

- Up and down to the country like I don't know what.

Jack-in-the-box.

- How's everyone, Hudson, the baby, how's little Lucy?

- Mama?

- Oh hello, darling.

- I must speak to you at once.

- Well, you look so much better,

doesn't she look better, Richard?

- Mmm!

- Not nearly so tired.

Now, how--

- Mama, I have to speak to you,

it's a matter of great urgency, really.

- Don't bother to inquire after your

poor old grandfather, will you?

You might be in danger of seeming concerned.

- I'm sorry, Papa, how is he?

- A little better, but still very ill.

What's the matter, darling?

- Do we have to talk about this in the hall?

Let's go inside.

- Well, what is this matter of great urgency?

- It's Nanny and the baby.

- Nanny and the ...

My dear, I'm sure you'll quite understand

if I retire to the club at this moment.

I'll be back in time for dinner.

- Mama--

- Calm yourself darling and sit down.

- I didn't believe Sarah at first, but I do now.

- Didn't believe Sarah about what?

- About Nanny.

You see, Sarah came to me and

said that Nanny wasn't suitable,

that she was too old to look after a baby,

and naturally at first, I thought--

- That she was jealous.

- Exactly.

- But I believe her now, because I've seen it for myself--

- Darling--

- Mama, she can't even carry the baby properly

without bumping into things.

I can't think why she doesn't wear spectacles.

- She'd never admit to needing them.

- The other night she fell asleep with the baby

in her arms and Sarah found her almost suffocating her!

- Nanny's always been so reliable,

I just can't believe this.

- You'll have to send her back to Southwold.

She's not fit to look after a baby and

she's too old to be told.

- You tried telling her, did you?

- Yes.

- Remembering your relationship with her,

that must have been a somewhat difficult task.

- She won't be told anything.

Least of all by me.

"Now, Elizabeth, you know what you're like,

"and you never did like dolls."

As if that had anything to do with it.

- I'll speak to her.

- Yes, but speak to Sarah as well,

you must hear what she has to say.

- I intend to hear what they both have to say.

- She'll see you now, Nanny.

[clock ticking]

- Ah.

Come in, Nanny, dear.

- Now, Nanny has a host of things

to do in the nursery, m'lady.

- Nevermind about them.

Come and sit down next to me.

Now, you like your coffee nice and sweet, don't you?

- I've very little time for sitting about gossiping.

- I know.

I've hardly had time to talk to you since you arrived.

So I do feel a bit guilty.

Especially as there seem to have been

one or two unforeseen difficulties.

- Difficulties?

- Yes, I hadn't realized there'd be

quite so many complications.

-[Nanny] That young girl, that Sarah,

she's the only complication.

With her head full of fiddle-faddle.

She'd be the bane of any nursery.

- Yes, it must be a great strain for you.

-[Nanny] Great strain indeed.

- Well, for someone like you to have to cope with

all these extra complications.

- I'd be all right if I could be left alone

to get on with my work.

If I could just be left in peace.

- Nanny, dear, you see ...

I was afraid of this,

of it proving too much for you.

[cup and saucer rattling awkwardly]

It was grossly unfair of me to drag you out of retirement,

without explaining properly that I ...

I only wanted you to supervise, as it were--

- Supervise?

- Not to feel you had to run the whole--

- Supervise?

I've been a Nanny all my life,

not a supervisor, whatever that may be.

I nannied you when I was hardly more than a girl.

- Yes.

- You were always beautiful.

The best of all my babies.

[china clinking loudly]

Oh, fiddly little china you have nowadays,

there's nothing substantial in this house.

- It was a wedding present, Nanny, don't you remember it?

From Lord and Lady Salisbury.

-[Nanny] No.

Which reminds me, James sent this from India,

for Lucy's Christening.

A little late, I'm afraid.

- What, ooh!

Ho, there, what is it?

- It's a ...

It's a teething ring, isn't it?

-[Nanny] Teething ring?

- There. You can take it up to her, can't you?

- Very well, m'lady.

- It is going to be too much for you, isn't it, Nanny?

With the stairs and everything.

And you see ...

We do really need someone who's a little stronger.

- But, Lady Marg--

- Now, I know that you'd soldier on without saying a word,

and I blame myself entirely

for not considering all the problems.

Especially the stairs.

- You've been listening to tittle-tattle child.

- It's thoughtless of me to say the least

to expect you to manage those on top of everything else.

- Everything else ...

Yes, the stairs, I'm afraid, are a little much for me.

Of course, nursery maids are the

worst sort of gossip I know.

We had one at Southwold.

- I passed your cottage when I was at Southwold.

It's so pretty.

And so convenient for you to share with Miss Baines.

- That Miss Baines is an extremely untidy old woman.

- And the roses are so lovely at this time of year.

- [sniffs sadly]

- So ...

Thank you, Nanny.

Of course, I'll make all the necessary arrangements.

- Yes. [sniffs]

Yes.

Of course, it is the stairs, more than anything.

But, Baby needs me.

- Oh I'll bring Lucy to see you,

we'll all come and see you.

You were never clumsy.

- No.

- We'll come and see you.

- You've got your corsets off again.

- Oh, Nanny.

- Are you coming upstairs, madam?

- Upstairs, what for?

- To have tea with us.

Me and Lucy.

- Yes, alright.

- Goodbye, my pet.

- Goodbye, Nanny.

- I trust you'll have a pleasant journey back, Nanny.

- Thank you, Hudson.

I'm glad to say I've always been a good traveler.

Hmm, always.

[clock ticking]

["Upstairs Downstairs Closing Theme"]