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ANNOUNCER:
In the last episode of Soap,
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00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:05,571
Real Burt was beamed home,
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00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:07,072
but Alien Burtanswered the door,
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much to both Burts'astonishment,
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00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,075
so real Burt ran away,
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00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:13,078
figuring two Burtswould be too much for Mary.
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00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:16,081
Danny brought Millie home,much to Mary's surprise.
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Chester,much the same as before,
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has planned a rendezvouswith another woman.
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00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,588
And because Tim hasn'tbeen much in the bedroom,
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Corinnehasn't been getting much.
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00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,091
And Billy,although much younger,
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00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:27,593
is very much takenwith his teacher.
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Too much?
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It won't beafter this episode of... Soap.
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This is the storyof two sisters,
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00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,607
Jessica Tate...
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00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,609
and Mary Campbell.
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00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:47,112
These are the Tates...
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and these are the Campbells...
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00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:54,620
and this is... Soap.
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Mary?
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Oh, Mary, Mar...
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00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:32,658
Thank God it's you, Mare.
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00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,159
Listen, you got to come
right down here.
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00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,661
I got to tell you something.
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00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,663
It's unbelievable
what I'm going to tell you.
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00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,665
You won't believe
what I'm I going to tell you,
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00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:42,668
it's so unbelievable
what I'm going to tell you.
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I can't tell you.
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No, no, no, no, no.
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Mare, Mare,
you got to come here.
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I can't come home.
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00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:50,676
Just come down here.
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I just got to talk to you,
please, now.
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00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:55,180
No, no, I'm not in any trouble.
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00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:56,181
Nothing like that.
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00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:57,683
Yeah, I'm in a little trouble.
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I'm in a lot of trouble here,
Mary.
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Get down here right away.
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Why? Now, Mary, listen, come...
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00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:04,189
Mary, come on, now.
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00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,191
Get a hold of yourself
and calm down.
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00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,693
All right, now.
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Listen, if you see me
between here and home,
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don't pay any attention to me.
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Mary, Mary, what's the m...
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Take it... Mary.
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Come on, now.
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00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:21,206
Take... Take it easy, Mary.
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Just take it easy.
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All right.
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00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:28,714
So, how you been?
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What?
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00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:30,716
No. All right, Mary. Just...
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Down here.
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I'm at Mr. Kline's.
Kline's Drugstore.
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Just... All right, hurry.
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All right,
I'll be waiting for you.
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Come here, Danny.
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00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:04,750
Hey, Millie.
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00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,251
Danny, I don't know
how to say this.
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00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,253
What? What is it?
What's the matter?
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Your father is a nymphomaniac.
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You mean he lights fires?
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No.
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A nymphomaniac.
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He's sex-crazy.
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Oh, come on, Millie.
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Danny, last night,
when I was taking a shower,
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he got in the shower with me.
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When I screamed, he apologized,
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and said he hadn't
seen me in there.
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Yeah, well, that could happen,
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because that bathroom
gets really fogged up.
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Well, I thought of that too,
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except later, I woke up
in the middle of the night
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and found him in my bed.
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00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,289
What was he doing in your bed?
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00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,793
Well, let's just say
it's good I woke up when I did.
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He said he was
walking in his sleep.
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No. No, Millie.
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Burt's not like that.
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I like you a lot, Danny,
I really do, but...
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I got to tell you,
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this is really a weird place.
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Danny, would you mind
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setting the table for dinner?
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00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,810
I have to run out
for a while and meet Burt.
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00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:05,811
Sure, Ma.
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00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:06,812
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
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00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:07,813
So then I said,
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00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,314
"What do you think I am,
warped?"
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00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,322
Burt, what are you doing here?
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I think I live here.
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00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:23,328
Burt, you just phoned me
and said I should go right over
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00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,831
to meet you
at Kline's Drugstore.
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00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:26,832
Oh, pfft, come on...
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00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,334
Mary, come on now, be serious.
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I mean, why would I
pick Kline's?
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00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:33,338
I'd rather meet you in bed.
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See that? Bed.
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00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:36,842
Then who called me?
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00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,343
Oh, I don't know, uh...
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you know,
maybe it was Mr. Kline.
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00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:41,847
He's no dope.
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00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,849
But Burt, it was your voice.
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I was with him the entire time.
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He never made a call.
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That's good.
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The dummy verifies
the sex maniac's story.
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00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:53,859
Burt, you also said
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that if I should
see you on the way,
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I should ignore you.
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00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:58,363
Mary, have you been drinking?
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Burt!
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I think the lady's ready
for the cookie jar.
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I am not.
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00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,370
I mean, uh, next thing
you'll be saying
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00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,372
is that you've seen two of us.
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00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:08,874
You didn't call me?
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00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,376
Yeah, Ma, it was
probably a crank call.
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00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,878
But it was Burt's voice.
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It was his voice.
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I know his voice.
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00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,381
Take it easy, Mary.
Take it easy.
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00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,883
That's the voice.
That voice.
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00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,885
I don't know anything
about nervous breakdowns,
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00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,386
but I think your mother's
having one.
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00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:22,387
I am not!
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Maybe I am.
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00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,390
Mary, listen, now,
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I think it's fatigue here.
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00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,393
You've been acting
a little strange lately,
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and I think what this is
is fatigue.
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He never lets her shut her eyes.
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00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,398
BURT: So come on,
go upstairs,
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00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,900
and, you know,
get a little rest.
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00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,401
Come on. Just...
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00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,403
Come on, Mare.
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00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,905
You didn't call?
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00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:40,906
You really didn't call?
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00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,908
No, Mary, come on.
Let's go. Come on.
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00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:43,909
You're going to lie down.
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00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,410
I may even lie down with you.
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00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:46,912
That's the voice.
That's the voice.
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00:05:58,925 --> 00:05:59,925
Don't bother.
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00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,086
I'm just going to mess it up.
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00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:03,929
Something wrong?
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00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:04,930
I think so.
What?
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00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,431
Chester, I need
to know something.
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00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,433
Are you having an affair?
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00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:10,435
Jessica.
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00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:11,436
Jessica.
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00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:13,438
Oh, Jessica.
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00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:15,941
Jessica, Jessica, Jessica.
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00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,443
Am I having an affair?
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00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,948
Chester, you didn't
answer the question.
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00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,449
Well, I can't answer it,
Jessica,
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00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,952
dignify that question
with an answer.
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00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,954
Is that a yes or a no?
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That is a no.
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00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:31,957
And I am surprised
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that you could even entertain
such a thought.
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00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,461
Well, it's a whole bunch
of things.
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A whole bunch of little things
that separately don't mean much,
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00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,465
but, added up,
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00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:43,969
they begin to look
very familiar and suspicious.
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00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:44,970
Like what?
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00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,471
Name one thing.
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Well...
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00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:48,974
for one thing,
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00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:52,978
you've been acting very nice
and caring and cheerful lately.
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00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,980
Oh, nice and caring
and cheerful? Yes.
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00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,481
Would you like it
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00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,482
if I came home and ignored you?
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00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:59,484
If I spat on you and moved out,
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then you'd really feel secure?
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00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:02,487
Oh, Chester,
that's not what I mean.
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00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,989
That is what you said, Jess.
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00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,490
You were suspicious
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00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,993
because I am nice and caring
and cheerful.
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00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:10,495
And you also
went back to the gym.
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00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:11,997
The gym?
Yes.
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00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:15,000
Do you think I'm carrying on
with one of the guys at the gym?
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00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,002
It's just that, you know,
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00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:20,005
when you were... fooling around,
you went to the gym.
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00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,507
Jess, I've always
gone to the gym.
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00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:25,010
I know.
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00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:27,512
This is very good so far.
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00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,514
A nice, caring, cheerful man
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00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,016
who does push-ups
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00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,518
is probably having an affair.
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00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:36,021
And you didn't come home
last night.
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00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:39,024
I told you why, Jess,
when I called.
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00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,526
The meeting
with Ralph Hirschberg
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00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:44,029
went on for so long
that I missed the last train.
198
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,531
I stayed at a hotel.
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00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:50,035
When you did come home,
you were reeking of perfume.
200
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,038
Ralph's.
201
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,041
Ralph's perfume?
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00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,542
This will probably come
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00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,544
as an enormous shock to you,
Jess.
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00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:01,046
It did to me.
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00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,048
Ralph Hirschberg is gay.
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00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:07,052
Ralph Hirschberg?
207
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:10,555
A queen, Jess.
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00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:13,058
Oh, but he and Maureen
are so happy,
209
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:16,061
and they have those
two lovely children.
210
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,562
Uh-huh, well, that's what
I kept telling myself,
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00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:20,566
but when he tried to kiss me
on the mouth...
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00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,570
I had to believe that.
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00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:28,073
Ralph Hirschberg?
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00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:32,577
I heard he's practically engaged
to Maureen's hairdresser.
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00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,079
Oh.
216
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,581
Poor Maureen.
217
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:38,583
I should call her.
218
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:41,086
Don't tell her, Jess.
219
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,087
Why not?
220
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,088
Why not?
221
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,589
Yes.
222
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,590
Her heart.
223
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:46,591
It's weak enough already.
224
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:49,594
Maureen Hirschberg
has a weak heart?
225
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:51,096
Of course.
226
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,097
Is it any wonder,
227
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,099
with her daughter dating
a member of the PLO?
228
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,102
Son sitting
in the closet all day
229
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:58,603
with his head in a bag of glue?
230
00:08:58,604 --> 00:08:59,604
Oh, no.
231
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,106
Don't you see, Jess?
232
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,607
Maureen has the problems,
233
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,109
not you.
234
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,110
Well, it's just that, you know,
235
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,111
when it happened before,
Chester,
236
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,612
it hurt me so much
237
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:10,615
that now the littlest thing
makes me wonder.
238
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:13,118
Jess, that's because
you have time on your hands.
239
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,120
If we were farmers,
you wouldn't worry.
240
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:18,124
Because if we were farmers,
you wouldn't have time.
241
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,627
Oh, Jessica.
242
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:25,130
I'm sorry.
243
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:28,134
Okay,
I'll forgive you this time.
244
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,637
Come to bed.
245
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,142
In a moment, Chester.
246
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,651
Thank you.
247
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,153
Thank you.
248
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,654
So what's the problem?
249
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:50,655
Oh, I feel terrible, Corinne.
250
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:53,658
Dutch has laid his whole life
on the line for me
251
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,160
and now I'm having
second thoughts.
252
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,161
What do you mean?
253
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:58,163
I am sick of him.
254
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,665
Good.
255
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,167
Everything he does bothers me.
256
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,668
I mean, I hate the way looks.
257
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:04,669
I hate the way he walks.
258
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,171
I hate the way he talks.
259
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,672
I hate the way
he chews his food,
260
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:08,673
when he bothers to chew it.
261
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,175
I hate everything about him.
262
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,176
Have you told him?
263
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,177
Not yet.
264
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,179
Well, I wouldn't get him
too angry, Eunice.
265
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,181
The man killed once.
266
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,183
I am disturbed, Corinne.
267
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:19,684
I'm a disturbed person.
268
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:22,187
I mean, when he was in jail,
when we were on the run,
269
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,188
I adored him.
270
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,190
Now I've got him and I don't.
271
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,691
I fell in love with the event,
Corinne,
272
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,193
not the man.
273
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:31,696
I never see enough of Tim
to get sick of him.
274
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:35,200
Dutch does things
that drive me up the walls.
275
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,203
Like, do you know what he does?
276
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:39,704
Never mind.
277
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:40,705
Oh, what?
278
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:42,207
I can't. It's too disgusting.
279
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,708
Oh, come on, tell me.
280
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,210
You'll throw up.
Eunice.
281
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,711
I can't.
282
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,213
Well, what does it
have to do with?
283
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,714
It's about... About...
284
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:51,216
Never mind.
285
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,717
Oh, Eunice.
286
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,220
I'm too embarrassed.
287
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,721
Well, tell me quickly.
What's it about?
288
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:59,224
Boogers!
289
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,734
My God.
290
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,740
Oh, quick. Hide.
291
00:11:16,661 --> 00:11:17,742
Why are we hiding, Corinne?
292
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:19,244
Look.
293
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,751
Put your menu down, Eunice.
294
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,254
Who is that?
295
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,755
It's your father.
296
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,757
It is not.
297
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,760
Take another look.
298
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:40,265
So it looks a little like Daddy.
299
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,266
Eunice.
300
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,268
What are we going to do?
301
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,270
I'm going to have
the artichoke vinaigrette
302
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,772
and the cold salmon
with dill sauce.
303
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:49,274
No, I mean about Daddy.
304
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,276
Oh, Corinne,
how do we even know it's him?
305
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,278
Not every gray-haired man
is Daddy.
306
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,279
It's Daddy.
307
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,780
No, it's not.
308
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,282
The ears
are completely different.
309
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,283
It is Daddy.
310
00:11:58,284 --> 00:11:59,284
That man is Daddy.
311
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,286
I would know Daddy anywhere.
312
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,287
And I wouldn't?
313
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,288
It is not Daddy.
314
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:04,289
Daddy.
315
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,290
Not Daddy.
It is not Daddy.
316
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,791
It is absolutely not Daddy,
317
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,293
and I'll tell you why
it's not Daddy.
318
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,294
Because if that was Daddy,
319
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,297
the woman he's with
would be Mother.
320
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:26,811
It's nice here.
321
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,313
Very, very nice.
322
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,814
It... I like it a lot.
Good.
323
00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:31,816
Why are we here?
324
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:32,817
What do you mean?
325
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,319
It's 35 miles
from the nearest town
326
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,321
on an unpaved back road.
327
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,822
It's not listed
in the phone book.
328
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,324
There's not even
a name on the door,
329
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,326
and yet it's packed.
330
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:45,330
I know, and I'm
ashamed of myself.
331
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:46,831
What do you mean?
332
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,833
Well, It's for people
who are sneaking around,
333
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,335
like we are,
334
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:51,336
who don't want to be seen,
335
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,338
and it's not right, Billy.
336
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,340
I get the feeling
I'm being dumped.
337
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:56,841
Listen, Billy.
338
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:58,843
I'm not just an older woman,
I'm a teacher.
339
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:01,346
I don't see any good
coming from this.
340
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,847
Terrific.
341
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:05,850
I'm being dumped an hour away
from the nearest phone.
342
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:06,851
You should be out with...
343
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:08,853
Teenage girls?
Cheerleaders?
344
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:10,355
Roller-skating on Jones Beach?
345
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,357
Pepsi and french fries
at Pop's after school?
346
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:14,359
Look, I'd love
to be with someone
347
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,860
nice and young and full of life,
348
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,862
who likes the same things
that I do.
349
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,364
Well, there.
350
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:20,365
You see?
351
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,867
And I am.
352
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,869
You are?
353
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,871
Yes.
354
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:28,373
Oh.
355
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,376
I could learn to skate.
356
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,380
I hate skating.
357
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,382
Me too.
358
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:38,383
Good evening.
359
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:39,884
Would you, uh, care for a drink?
360
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:41,386
Ah, yes. Leslie?
361
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,388
I'll have a vodka tonic.
362
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:44,389
And I'll have...
363
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,890
Uh, may I see your I.D.,
please?
364
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:48,393
My I.D.?
You want my I.D.?
365
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,894
You flatter me, sir.
366
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:52,397
I haven't been asked
for an I.D. in years.
367
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:55,900
Sometime tonight would be nice.
368
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:56,901
Well, it just so happens
369
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,904
that I left my I.D.
on my... plane.
370
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,407
Do I have to
call over the manager?
371
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:03,908
I mean,
must I really embarrass you
372
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,910
by calling over the manager
and telling him
373
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:08,913
that Billy Sinatra
is being checked for I.D.?
374
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:10,915
What would you like to drink,
sir?
375
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,417
I'll have a 7-Up.
376
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:13,919
Very good.
377
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,923
Oh, you were wonderful.
378
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:20,925
Thanks.
379
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,431
Want to dance?
380
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,933
Sure.
381
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:34,940
Clean this up.
382
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:41,946
Oh, quick. Dip me.
383
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:42,947
What?
384
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:43,948
Dip me, dip me.
385
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:44,950
In what?
386
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:49,955
Sorry.
387
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:52,957
Oh, that was close.
388
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:53,958
What's wrong?
389
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:56,961
Oh, that was Mr. Morris.
Biology 101.
390
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:57,962
You think he'll say anything?
391
00:14:57,963 --> 00:14:59,464
No, I don't believe so.
392
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,465
Why not?
393
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,967
Because that wasn't Mrs. Morris.
394
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:05,470
Do want to go
somewhere else? Do you?
395
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:09,474
Nah. I don't care who sees us,
because if they see us,
396
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:10,975
they have no business here
either.
397
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,478
Amen.
398
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:17,482
Don't look.
399
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,483
What?
400
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,484
I don't believe it.
What?
401
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,486
My sister, with another man.
402
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,988
Do you want to go
someplace else? Nah.
403
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:24,989
Listen,
404
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:25,990
two of my teachers are here.
405
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:26,991
My sister's here.
406
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,493
Who else could possibly show up?
407
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:45,510
And Abraham begat Isaac,
408
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:49,013
and Isaac begat Jacob,
and Jacob begat Judas,
409
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:51,015
and Judas begat Elizar,
Elizar...
410
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:54,519
You know,
411
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,521
I used to know these
all by heart. Really?
412
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,022
Begats are great
for falling asleep.
413
00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,023
It's like counting sheep.
414
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:01,526
I know a better way
415
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:04,028
with a little less talking.
416
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:07,031
Begat Solomon,
and Solomon begat Boas,
417
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:09,034
and Boas begat Obit.
418
00:16:11,036 --> 00:16:13,037
You going to be finished soon?
419
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,540
Corrine, this isn't
the Harold Robbins novel.
420
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,042
This is the Bible.
421
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:20,044
One doesn't finish the Bible.
422
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:23,548
Jesse begat David.
423
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:28,052
David begat Solomon,
and Solomon begat Erin,
424
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,554
and Erin begat Ellias,
425
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,055
and Elazar begat...
426
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:32,056
Tim.
427
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,558
Corrine, please.
428
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,059
Look, I don't mind
a little begatting,
429
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,561
but how about
430
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:38,062
begatting around with me
a little bit?
431
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,063
I mean, come on already.
432
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,565
Let's begin the begats.
433
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,568
My religion
is very important to me.
434
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:47,071
You're using your religion
as and excuse to avoid me,
435
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,573
and I find that detestable.
436
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,575
I can't help it
if I'm the way I am.
437
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:51,576
I have certain needs.
438
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:52,577
And I don't?
439
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:54,078
Well, look at you.
440
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:56,080
It looks like you're wearing
a spider's web.
441
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,082
Oh.
442
00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,084
So I'm cheap, is that it?
443
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:05,590
I'm an oversexed tart, right?
444
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:07,091
There doesn't seem to be
445
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:09,093
anything else
on your mind these days.
446
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,095
Are you calling me a nympho?
447
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,597
No, I didn't say that.
448
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:14,098
Well, that's okay.
449
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:15,099
Go ahead, say it.
450
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,100
Say it, Father Flotsky.
451
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:17,602
"Corinne, me darling,
452
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,105
you're a cute lass,
but you're a nympho."
453
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,610
If the shoe fits, Corinne...
454
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,612
So you are calling me a nympho.
455
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,113
You just admitted it.
456
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:30,114
You called me a nympho.
457
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,619
JESSICA: Yoo-hoo!
458
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,120
Come in.
459
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:37,622
Hello.
460
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,624
I heard you two fighting
461
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,126
and I thought
you'd like some cocoa.
462
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,129
No, thanks.
463
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,631
Corinne?
464
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:47,632
No, thanks, Ma.
465
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:49,133
Did you hear that?
466
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:51,135
The priest called me a nympho.
467
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:53,638
Nympho?
468
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:57,141
Is that one
of the Marx Brothers?
469
00:17:57,142 --> 00:18:00,144
I may as well be married
to a eunuch.
470
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:01,646
Did you hear that?
Eunuch.
471
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:04,148
I didn't say you were a eunuch.
472
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:05,650
I said you might as well be one.
473
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,151
I don't see the difference.
474
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:08,152
You called me a nympho.
475
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:09,654
No, I didn't.
You called me a eunuch.
476
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:10,655
No, I didn't.
477
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:11,656
You didn't?
478
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:14,158
No.
479
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:15,159
You want to go to bed now?
480
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,661
I have to finish Leviticus.
481
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:17,662
Eunuch.
482
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:18,663
Nympho.
483
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,164
Aha.
484
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:21,666
Here it is.
485
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,168
"Eunuch."
486
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,182
I don't know
what else to do, Tim.
487
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:40,184
I mean, I've done everything
I know how.
488
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,185
I've been patient.
489
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:42,687
I've been angry.
490
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:43,688
I've been understanding.
491
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,690
I've been obstinate.
492
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,191
So what are you saying, Corinne?
493
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:48,693
That you want other men?
494
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:49,694
No.
495
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:52,196
I don't want other men.
496
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,198
I want you.
497
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,700
Corrine, he's a eunuch.
498
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:01,205
Ma, why don't you go
make some coffee.
499
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:02,206
Okay.
500
00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:03,207
Do you suppose
501
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,710
his father was a eunuch too?
502
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,212
Ma...
503
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,222
So...
504
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:20,225
So...
505
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,729
You want a divorce?
506
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:26,731
Do you?
507
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,733
No.
508
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,234
Oh.
509
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:33,238
Me either.
510
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,741
But I think we should get one.
511
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,249
So do I.
512
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:47,251
Then I guess I should go.
513
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:49,254
Tim...
514
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:54,258
You wanted me, Corinne,
and I was a priest.
515
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:57,762
I wanted you,
but I was a priest,
516
00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:01,766
so I left the church,
now I'm leaving you.
517
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,768
I love the church, Corinne,
518
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,770
and I still do,
519
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,773
and I love you just as much...
520
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,274
but I can't have you.
521
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:11,776
You can have me.
522
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:13,277
I'm still here for you.
523
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:14,278
I can't, Corinne.
524
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:16,280
As much as want to, I can't.
525
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:20,785
As much as I love you,
my past won't let me.
526
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,787
I tried,
527
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:24,790
but I can't undo
all those years.
528
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,293
But I love you.
529
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,797
And I love you...
530
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:35,300
too much to stay.
531
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,307
I'm going to say goodbye
to my son.
532
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,843
Oh, Ma.
533
00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:24,348
Corinne, darling.
534
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:26,851
I've lost him.
535
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:29,353
No, Corinne.
536
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:31,856
No, you haven't lost him.
537
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:33,859
He's leaving me.
538
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:37,361
Darling, you loved him
539
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:40,364
for something he never was,
540
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:42,867
something you'd hoped he'd be,
541
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:47,371
and he loved you the same way.
542
00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:48,873
So you see,
543
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:53,878
you never really
lost each other,
544
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:55,379
because in order to do that,
545
00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:57,882
you've got to
find each other first,
546
00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:00,886
and you never did.
547
00:22:23,689 --> 00:22:26,410
ANNOUNCER: Will Millie and Danny
ever have a meaningful relationship?
548
00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:28,412
What could itpossibly be based on?
549
00:22:28,413 --> 00:22:30,915
What will Corinne donow that Tim has left her?
550
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:31,916
Will it be more fun?
551
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:33,918
What will happenwith Billy and his teacher?
552
00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:35,419
Will he be tested on it?
553
00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:36,921
Now that the real Burtcalled Mary,
554
00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:38,923
and the alien Burttold her he didn't,
555
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:39,924
what will Mary do
556
00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:41,425
if the real Burtcalls her again?
557
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:44,428
What will Corinne and Eunice donow that they've seen Chester
558
00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:45,930
in a restaurantwith another woman?
559
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:46,931
Will they tell Jessica?
560
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:48,432
Will they finish lunch first?
561
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:49,934
These questions and many others
562
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:52,938
will be answeredin the next episode of... Soap.
563
00:22:57,943 --> 00:23:00,946
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
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