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1
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Did I tell you my aunt
took driving lessons?
2
00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:08,384
No. But I have a feeling
I'm gonna hear all about it.
3
00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:11,188
Yes, 'cause I know that you
really want to, deep inside.
4
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,622
She's taking driving lessons,
5
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,291
the instructor is
sitting on her side.
6
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:16,760
First of all, she puts her
hand out the window like this:
7
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,528
Then she goes like this:
8
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,497
And then she goes like this:
9
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,232
Well, why did she do that?
10
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:24,567
That's just what
the instructor said.
11
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,769
"Lucille, why did you do that?"
12
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:29,072
She said, "Well, first I
was gonna make a left turn.
13
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:30,974
"Then I decided
to make a right turn.
14
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,675
"Then I decided
not to make any turn,
15
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:35,067
so I erased the whole thing."
16
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,584
Welcome Back, Kotter has
been recorded live on tape
17
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,152
before a studio audience.
18
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:53,496
♪ Welcome back ♪
19
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,167
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
20
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,569
♪ Welcome back ♪
21
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:04,274
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
22
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,443
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
23
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,645
♪ Since you hung around ♪
24
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,647
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
25
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:13,249
♪ And they've turned around ♪
26
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,351
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
27
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:16,919
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
28
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:19,155
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
29
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,458
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
30
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,560
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
31
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,562
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
32
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,897
♪ Welcome back ♪
33
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,032
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
34
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:32,201
♪ Welcome back ♪
35
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,571
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
36
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,061
♪ Welcome back ♪
37
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,010
Okay. Yeah...
38
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,645
I'll tell him as soon
as he comes out.
39
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:46,149
Uh-huh. Yeah...
Six will be fine.
40
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:50,086
I am looking forward to meeting
you and Mary Frances too.
41
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,111
Okay. Yeah, I'll see
you later. Bye-bye.
42
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,633
Honey, you will never
guess who just called.
43
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,602
I'm sorry, I don't have
time. I'm late, Julie.
44
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,146
Come on. Guess
who's coming to dinner.
45
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,740
Okay. What are you cooking?
46
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,176
My world famous tuna casserole.
47
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,301
It's nobody that we
ever want to see again.
48
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,116
That's very cute.
49
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,784
I'll give you a hint.
50
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:25,444
"I can't wait to see old
Gabby Gabe again."
51
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,157
Say that again.
52
00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:31,227
"I can't wait to see old
Gabby Gabe again."
53
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:32,362
Come on.
54
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:35,498
Lyle Flannigan is coming
here? You guessed.
55
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:38,301
Boy, did he sound nice.
56
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,136
Of course he sounded nice.
57
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,706
Lyle Flannigan was the nicest
boy who ever went to Buchanan.
58
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:47,132
He's so nice he would help
old ladies cross their legs.
59
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:53,015
Gabe. You should be happy.
60
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:56,252
You haven't seen Lyle
Flannigan in 10 years.
61
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,788
Julie, did it ever occur to you
62
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,924
that if you haven't seen
someone for 10 years,
63
00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:05,583
chances are it's because
you don't want to?
64
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,700
Now, I find out that when
I'm in the bathroom shaving,
65
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,569
my wife... that's you
66
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:15,593
invites a Lyle
Flannigan to dinner.
67
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,564
You're mad at me.
68
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,511
Julie, I'm not mad at you.
69
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,282
I just don't wanna have Lyle
Flannigan over for dinner.
70
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,484
Well, what's wrong
with Lyle Flannigan?
71
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,587
You wanna know what's
wrong with Lyle Flannigan?
72
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,756
I'll tell you what's wrong
with Lyle Flannigan.
73
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,857
There's nothing wrong
with Lyle Flannigan.
74
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,760
That's what's wrong
with Lyle Flannigan.
75
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,863
Lyle Flannigan is perfect.
76
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,566
Did you ever know a kid who went
through school without a pimple,
77
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,602
a blemish?
78
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,692
I would've even
settled for a wart.
79
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,541
We were on the
basketball team together.
80
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,609
Lyle Flannigan used to
score 30 points a game,
81
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:56,412
and he would never sweat.
82
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:59,571
I was second-string. I used
to sit on the bench and sweat.
83
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:04,020
The only person that was
as bad as Lyle Flannigan
84
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,189
was that Miss
Personality cheerleader
85
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,390
he used to go out with. Uh...
86
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,358
If her name is Mary Frances,
87
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:12,628
it's gonna be old-home
week around here tonight.
88
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:13,929
That figures.
89
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:16,232
I knew that those two
were gonna get married.
90
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,724
They look so nice, they probably
stood on their own wedding cake.
91
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:24,607
Well, maybe they're
not so nice anymore.
92
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:27,910
Julie, Lyle Flannigan
is not a bad guy.
93
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,380
He's not mean, he's not hostile.
94
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:33,082
Throughout school, he
always acted superior.
95
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,484
And you want to know something?
96
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:35,518
What?
97
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:36,619
He was.
98
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,721
Well, what are you gonna do?
99
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:41,858
While I'm at school today,
working with my students,
100
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,782
move.
101
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,239
All right, Arnold, get out here.
102
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,911
Pretty clever, eh, Mr. Kotter?
103
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:18,495
I thought this up all
by myself this morning.
104
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,896
Not today, all right, Arnold?
105
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,399
Someday, we'll discuss the
history of the whoopee cushion
106
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:25,523
and the dribble
glass, but... not today.
107
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:31,074
All right, Sweathogs.
Another day, another dollar.
108
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:32,842
Let's get right to work.
109
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,143
Book reports.
110
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,612
Mr. Kotter.
111
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:39,148
What does that mean,
"Another day, another dollar"?
112
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,351
Well, Vinnie, in the
case of teachers,
113
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:44,776
it comes very close to
being a financial statement.
114
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,857
Book reports.
115
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,492
Hey, Mr. Kotter.
116
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,826
Mr. Epstein.
117
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,551
Couldn't you get
rich being a teacher?
118
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,465
Epstein, I have enough money
119
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,433
to last me for
the rest of my life.
120
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:58,467
Uh-huh.
121
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:00,558
Unless I wanna buy something.
122
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,040
Why? Huh?
123
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,609
Oh, well, you know, I was
thinking about being a teacher.
124
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,511
But, like, if there's
not enough bucks in it,
125
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,679
why be a sap, huh?
126
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,950
No, I think I'm gonna
be a street sweeper.
127
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,351
It says here, you know, uh,
128
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,355
you can make 18,000
bucks a year. Where?
129
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:20,323
Right here. 18,000
bucks... All right, look.
130
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,787
Don't bring papers into class.
131
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:29,898
That's in San Francisco.
132
00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:32,001
That's where they have
all those earthquakes.
133
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,636
They should get
paid that much money.
134
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:37,039
They got to sweep
buildings up off the street.
135
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,241
All right, quit the
stalling. Book reports.
136
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,711
One last question.
137
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:46,015
Okay, Freddie. But make
it simple and make it quick.
138
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,472
Mr. Kotter.
139
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:53,011
What is... the meaning of life?
140
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,984
Ah, Sweathopper.
141
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,966
You ask the meaning of life.
142
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:07,492
You must go to
Epstein's gym locker.
143
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,207
Open it up.
144
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,598
Take one deep breath.
145
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:17,547
If you will survive that,
146
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:20,772
you will survive anything.
147
00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:33,128
All right, let's
go. Book reports.
148
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:35,753
I got one, master.
149
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:40,491
"Book report.
150
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,373
"The Arabian Nights.
151
00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:46,943
"Adventure. 1942.
Black and white.
152
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,314
"Two brothers, Jon
Hall and Leif Erickson,
153
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,450
"fight over a throne.
154
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,321
"Maria Montez, Sabu, Turhan Bey.
155
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,923
Ninety minutes. Repeat."
156
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,897
How was the movie?
157
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,131
Oh, it was wonderful.
158
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,835
Uh, Sabu and the elephant
lived happily ever after.
159
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:15,071
Mr. Kotter, I got
my book report.
160
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,615
Oh, another surprise.
161
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,776
"Trailer Park Cutie...
162
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:36,281
"by Miss M.
163
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:40,284
"An original nightstand classic.
164
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:45,790
"Monica knew that
one man was too much.
165
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,604
Yet 10 were not enough."
166
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,106
Whoo!
167
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,475
That's enough, Vinnie.
168
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,410
"She awoke in the
morning glistening..."
169
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:55,411
All right.
170
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:56,613
"Her desire..."
171
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,848
I don't care about
her glistening.
172
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,415
Next time, you
bring a book report in
173
00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:02,839
in a plain brown wrapper.
174
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,590
That's enough.
175
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:09,958
Enough.
176
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:12,829
You know, sometimes I wonder
why I bother with you people at all.
177
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:16,199
Don't you like
teaching us, Mr. Kotter?
178
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,368
I love teaching, Arnold.
179
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,770
Teaching is my
chosen profession.
180
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,138
But there are days like today
181
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:25,441
when all I am is a straight
man for Sweathogs.
182
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:28,211
I might as well have become
a door-to-door salesman.
183
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,013
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
184
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:33,049
Ooh! Ooh!
185
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,551
Did you want to, uh,
say something, Arnold?
186
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,955
My Uncle Murray was a
door-to-door salesman.
187
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:42,113
It finally drove him crazy.
188
00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:50,299
Okay, Arnold.
189
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,735
How come it drove him crazy?
190
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,926
He sold doors.
191
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,643
Every day he would go to
a house and knock on one.
192
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,981
But he knew he wasn't
gonna make a sale.
193
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,693
Hey, Mr. Kotter.
What's bugging you?
194
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,629
What's bugging you? Wanna know?
195
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:22,231
Okay, I'm gonna tell
you what's bugging me.
196
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,390
I have a bad case
of Lyle Flannigan.
197
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,505
Uh, when did you first notice
198
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,840
that something was
wrong with your Flannigan?
199
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,413
Lyle Flannigan is
person, Freddie.
200
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,648
We went to school here together.
201
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:43,686
Well, come on, Mr. Kotter.
Why don't you tell us about him?
202
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:45,187
Nothing to tell.
We went to school.
203
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,688
We were on the basketball team.
204
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,490
Now I heard he's
making a million dollars.
205
00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:50,760
He's in a big office
building with 18 secretaries,
206
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,929
and I'm back here
where I started.
207
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:55,831
Don't you find teaching
a rewarding experience,
208
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:57,933
Mr. Kotter?
209
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,435
Aren't you happy with us?
210
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:02,738
Yeah, you know, you didn't
have to be a teacher, Mr. Kotter.
211
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:05,307
Mr. Kotter, you could've made
yourself a whole lot of money.
212
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,909
That's right,
Freddie, I could have.
213
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,644
I mean, I had plenty
of opportunities.
214
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,312
Heather Weintraub's
father wanted me
215
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,816
to go into the "funeral biz,"
as Heather used to call it.
216
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,951
Hey, well, why didn't you do it?
217
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:17,754
Because Heather looked like
218
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,110
she modeled for the caskets.
219
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,726
You know, Mr. Kotter...
220
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:27,251
I get the distinctive impression
that you are not happy.
221
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,600
Why shouldn't I
be happy, Arnold?
222
00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:32,134
So far, it's been
a terrific day.
223
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,669
First of all, I wake up late.
224
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,839
Second of all, my wife cooks
me orange juice for breakfast.
225
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,141
Then she invites somebody
I haven't seen in 10 years,
226
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:40,943
who I don't want to
see, to dinner tonight.
227
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,344
Then I come to school,
228
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:45,970
and Arnold Horshack has me
chasing a wallet down the hall.
229
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,925
Then after that, nobody's
done their book report.
230
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,826
Epstein was up till
2:00 in the morning with,
231
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:00,818
"Sabu, Maria Montez, repeat."
232
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:03,899
Barbarino did a book report too.
233
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,335
"Trailer Park Cutie by Miss M.
234
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,604
Monica knew that 10
men were not enough...
235
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,107
but a hundred was too many.
236
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,877
And Freddie wants
to know why Mr. Kotter
237
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,246
ain't making, uh,
$18,000 a year,
238
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,514
like some street
sweeper in San Francisco.
239
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:22,285
Now, I got seven more
classes I got to go through today.
240
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:25,387
Then I gotta go home
and have tuna casserole...
241
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,955
Bleh!
242
00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:28,991
With Captain
No-Pimple and his wife,
243
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,581
Sister Mary Pompom.
244
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,329
♪ Welcome back ♪
245
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,193
♪ Your dreams Were your... ♪
246
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,701
Gabe.
247
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,602
I'm not here.
248
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:43,372
Aren't you gonna change?
They'll be here any minute.
249
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,940
Hey, look, I got a great idea.
250
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,509
They're here.
251
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,812
This is my idea. Make
a very thin sandwich
252
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,515
and slide it under the door.
253
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,916
You can't do that.
254
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,052
Can we?
255
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,920
No.
256
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,555
That wouldn't be nice.
257
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:02,124
And we gotta be nice. Lyle
and Mary Frances are coming,
258
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,515
so we're gonna be nice,
nice, nice, nice, nice.
259
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,120
♪ I'm a nice guy ♪
260
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,701
Gabe Kotter?
261
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:17,339
Mary Frances.
262
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,408
I didn't recognize you
without your pompoms.
263
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:20,443
Chh.
264
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,713
Mary Frances, I'd love
you to meet my wife.
265
00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:25,514
This is Julie. Mary Frances.
266
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,316
So nice to meet you.
267
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,252
Gabe has told me so
much about you and Lyle.
268
00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,788
Lyle is still parking his car.
269
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,391
He is so fussy
about that car of his.
270
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:38,160
I'd hate to tell you
how much it cost.
271
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,728
Well, was there
a lot of traffic?
272
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:43,732
Fourteen thousand,
five hundred dollars.
273
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,000
That's a lot of traffic.
274
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:47,035
Let me take your
coat, Mary Frances.
275
00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:48,459
Thank you.
276
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,540
"Closet."
277
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:57,647
Isn't that cute?
278
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:02,852
Hello. Oh.
279
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,420
I'm Lyle. And you must be Julie.
280
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:08,891
You're just as pretty as
you sounded on the phone.
281
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:10,726
What a nice thing to say.
282
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:11,927
Thank you.
283
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:12,961
That's my Lyle.
284
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:15,431
Gabe, you old son of a gun.
285
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,235
How you doing, Lyle?
286
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,404
Well, Gabe, I don't mind telling
you that I'm making a bundle.
287
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,640
A bundle. Heh-heh.
288
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:27,276
You hear that, Julie? Old Lyle
here's in the bundle business.
289
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,646
Let me make you a drink. Great.
290
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:33,649
Ly-Ly, isn't it sweet
291
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:36,619
that Gabe still lives in
the old neighborhood?
292
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,920
Oh, I remember what
this neighborhood is like.
293
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:41,891
That's why I'm glad I found
a spot in front of the building.
294
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,659
Gabe, that car of mine
eats gas like a bus.
295
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:46,996
And I'd hate to tell
you what I paid for it.
296
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:50,332
Fourteen thousand, five hundred.
297
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,401
You got one too?
298
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,069
No.
299
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:55,605
The city takes care of my bus.
300
00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:58,106
They lock it up at night so
they can paint over the graffiti.
301
00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,274
Heh.
302
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:00,743
It's a joke.
303
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:04,179
He means the "bus"
bus, Mary Frances.
304
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:05,347
Mary Frances?
305
00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:07,215
Heh-heh.
306
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,585
Oh, Gabe was always
funny, remember?
307
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,754
I mean, Gabe always
had something to say.
308
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,622
That's why we called
him Gabby Gabe.
309
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,124
Didn't we, Gabby Gabe?
310
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:17,493
I have nothing to say.
311
00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:21,597
Dinner will be ready
in a few minutes.
312
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:25,101
Julie, do you know
what I would love?
313
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,135
No.
314
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:29,126
A tour of the
house. Do you mind?
315
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,165
Whose house?
316
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,279
Oh. Our house.
317
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,016
This is it.
318
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,452
Mary Frances, I
would be delighted
319
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,853
to take you on a
tour of the house.
320
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,188
Oh, thank you.
321
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:47,590
Let us start over here
322
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,134
in our spacious dinning room.
323
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,294
This is where
visiting heads of state
324
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,962
have been known not to show up.
325
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,000
Two steps to the right,
and we're in our kitchen,
326
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:02,093
which... as you see, is
decorated in early Munchkin.
327
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,608
Now over here, this
is our spacious foyer.
328
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,592
Try to keep up with
the tour, Mary Frances.
329
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:11,580
That's my den out there,
330
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:14,538
which is decorated
in early Fire Escape.
331
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,186
Now, the third
one to the right...
332
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,988
You see the one over there with
racing stripes and the chrome?
333
00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:22,780
That's our garbage can.
334
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,095
Which brings us
back to our bedroom,
335
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,097
which your husband
Lyle is sitting on.
336
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:33,535
Why, it's the most quaint
and charming little apartment
337
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,404
I've ever seen, isn't it, Ly-Ly?
338
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:40,676
I can't imagine what we're
doing with five bedrooms.
339
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,967
I can't imagine what you guys
are doing with one bedroom.
340
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:52,821
I mean, you're so busy,
341
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,090
I wouldn't think you had any time to sleep.
- Oh.
342
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,493
Do you have any children?
343
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,029
No.
344
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,030
Mary Frances was
always more willing to die
345
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,066
than do anything to
mess up her hair. Ha!
346
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:07,691
Lyle Flannigan.
347
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,396
Here come some people.
348
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,032
Whoo-whoo.
349
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:22,718
Honey, did you send
out for Sweathog delight?
350
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,353
No.
351
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,656
We heard about your
famous tuna casserole.
352
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,657
Yeah, we didn't want
353
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,459
your dinner guests going hungry.
354
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:33,562
So we decided to bring
some real food, you know?
355
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,452
A taste of the good life.
356
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,890
Fine food in a gracious setting.
357
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,205
That your car parked out there?
358
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,373
Yes. The black one? Yeah.
359
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,674
Yeah.
360
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,843
Well, you better get it out
of there in a hurry, man.
361
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,545
There's a Puerto Rican
family moving in it there. What?
362
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:59,888
Uh... they're
great kidders, Lyle.
363
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,257
Mr. Kotter...
364
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,625
we may kid around
a lot in class.
365
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:06,095
We only do it 'cause
we like you. Really.
366
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,997
Yeah. And we don't want
to lose you, Mr. Kotter.
367
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:12,767
Yeah, we want you to see
that you ain't got to be rich
368
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:15,738
to live big.
369
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,506
Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.
370
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,742
Where'd you guys
get all this stuff?
371
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,112
Yeah, I mean, it looks
like the UN cafeteria.
372
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,379
Well, you see...
373
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:27,582
we told our folks that
you finally got tired of us...
374
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,784
and wanted to quit teaching.
375
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,786
So they sent this
stuff over, you know?
376
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,821
As a sort of gratitude,
so that you'll know
377
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,257
how much you meant
to 'em... and us too.
378
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,526
Yeah. My mom
says to tell Mr. Kotter:
379
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,929
"Anybody who can
keep my Juan in school
380
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,496
deserves my specialty."
381
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,933
You see, it's a Puerto
Rican/ Jewish dish.
382
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:48,058
It's called, uh,
gefilte... mofongo.
383
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,429
She has the dumbest
laugh I ever heard.
384
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:30,712
Are you really a rich person?
385
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:33,181
Well. Yeah, I... I
guess I'm well off.
386
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,645
We're rich, Lyle.
387
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,286
Hi.
388
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:40,689
I'm Vinnie Barbarino.
389
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,225
Head Sweathog here.
390
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,194
You probably want to
know more about me.
391
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,483
No.
392
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:51,900
Mary Franc... Mary Frances,
these are the new Sweathogs.
393
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,769
Yeah, we're the new
Sweathogs, what of it?
394
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,236
Lyle, to these kids,
395
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,405
being a Sweathog
is a badge of honor.
396
00:19:57,429 --> 00:20:00,075
You know, not everybody
can be a Sweathog.
397
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,244
Hey, man. That's true,
man. You take my main man,
398
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,979
Mr. Kotter, here, for example.
399
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,214
Ain't that right, brother?
400
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:07,917
Man, he was a Sweathog once.
401
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:10,218
Now, he don't want to
be no more Sweathog.
402
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:11,887
No more. Hey. Hey,
Freddie, come on.
403
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,989
Now, that's not true.
404
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,291
Lyle, I was uncomfortable
about you coming here,
405
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,592
and I told them about it,
406
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:19,561
and I think that's what
they're doing here.
407
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:22,197
They're my students,
but they're also my friends.
408
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,732
I'm a Sweathog, and I guess
I'm always gonna be one.
409
00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:26,302
I mean, you don't
make a lot of money,
410
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,004
but you meet an interesting
class of people. Heh.
411
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,239
So you and Mary Frances
are welcome to stay,
412
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:33,208
but if you don't wanna
be around Sweathogs...
413
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,843
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, Gabe.
414
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,778
Uh, let me tell you something.
415
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:39,881
I... I know that you've never
really liked me very much and...
416
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,549
Well, that's not
true. No, it is true.
417
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,752
I-I-I knew it all along.
418
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,622
But you let me hang around,
and for that I was grateful.
419
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,825
Yeah, why did you want
to hang around with me?
420
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:52,328
Envy. Uh, that's it.
421
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,596
I'm still envious of you.
422
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:55,898
Oh, Ly-Ly.
423
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:02,270
You're riding around
in a $14,000 car,
424
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:04,239
and you envy me? That's right.
425
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,974
Why?
426
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,909
Gabe, you don't know how much
427
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,744
you've got with your students.
428
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,747
I mean, what do I have?
429
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,584
What I'm saying is, it's
not so nice being nice.
430
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,187
It's boring being nice.
431
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:22,024
Gabe, all through school, I
wanted to be a Sweathog.
432
00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:25,961
But dirt never stuck to me.
433
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:28,062
I was... too perfect.
434
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:30,065
It's lovely being perfect.
435
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:32,234
It's boring being perfect.
436
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:37,005
It's boring being rich. I
have five boring bedrooms.
437
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:40,576
Am I included in those
five boring bedrooms?
438
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,246
Mary Frances, no one has
a headache for seven years.
439
00:21:52,277 --> 00:21:55,390
Lyle, what are you saying?
440
00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:57,959
Well, I think that sounds
like Sweathog talk to me.
441
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,028
Yeah? You really think so?
442
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:02,286
Well, don't take my word
for it. Ask the experts.
443
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:06,183
Well, that was sort of
like a rank, you know.
444
00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:08,937
I think I give
him a A for effort
445
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:11,072
and a C for the execution.
446
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:13,308
Okay.
447
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,809
Yeah. Well, he's
real white bread,
448
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:18,480
you know, but, uh... okay.
449
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:21,138
Congratulations, Mr. Flannigan.
450
00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:26,254
Well, I guess that's it.
You're an honorary Sweathog.
451
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:27,522
Great.
452
00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:29,758
And thank you. You made
me feel as rich as you are.
453
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:31,026
Gabe, you are.
454
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:33,328
You're richer. And
you're not in trouble
455
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,862
with the Internal Revenue.
456
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,203
That was a good
one, Mary Frances.
457
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,609
What? What was?
458
00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:50,412
The rank. You just ranked Lyle.
459
00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:53,603
Congratulations, Mrs. Flannigan.
460
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:02,891
How do you feel, Mary Frances?
Now you're a Sweathog too.
461
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:07,284
Lyle... Up your nose
with a rubber hose.
462
00:23:11,424 --> 00:23:12,756
Oh!
463
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,104
I just lost my headache.
464
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:17,772
Ha!
465
00:23:17,796 --> 00:23:19,141
Hey, all right, we're all even.
466
00:23:19,165 --> 00:23:20,943
Come on, everybody,
there's a lot of food.
467
00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:22,311
Let's eat. All right? Okay.
468
00:23:24,637 --> 00:23:27,716
♪ Welcome back ♪
469
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:31,219
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
470
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,243
♪ Welcome back ♪
471
00:23:34,347 --> 00:23:36,291
Little Italian
man, right? Right.
472
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:38,459
Wants a barbecue his
whole life. A barbecue.
473
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:41,396
He likes the cookout, right?
So he finally buys a barbecue.
474
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,365
He's so happy, he's
out in the backyard,
475
00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:45,534
he's cooking a couple of
steaks, and he's singing:
476
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:50,005
♪ O, solo mio La, la, la, la ♪
477
00:23:50,029 --> 00:23:51,806
Drunk walks by. He goes:
478
00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:55,310
"Hey, mister, you
got a terrific voice.
479
00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:58,146
But your monkey's on fire."
480
00:23:58,170 --> 00:24:00,716
♪ Welcome back ♪
481
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:03,774
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
482
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:16,331
♪ Welcome back ♪
483
00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:19,801
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
484
00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:22,004
♪ Welcome back ♪
485
00:24:22,028 --> 00:24:26,908
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
486
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:29,077
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
487
00:24:29,101 --> 00:24:31,146
♪ Since you hung around ♪
488
00:24:31,170 --> 00:24:33,415
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
489
00:24:33,439 --> 00:24:35,884
♪ And they've turned around ♪
490
00:24:35,908 --> 00:24:37,986
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
491
00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,554
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
492
00:24:39,578 --> 00:24:41,790
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
493
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,892
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
494
00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:46,027
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
495
00:24:46,051 --> 00:24:48,196
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
496
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,398
♪ Welcome back ♪
497
00:24:50,422 --> 00:24:52,533
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
498
00:24:52,557 --> 00:24:54,669
♪ Welcome back ♪
499
00:24:54,693 --> 00:24:57,039
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
500
00:24:57,063 --> 00:24:58,974
♪ Yeah, we tease him A lot ♪
501
00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:01,276
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
502
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:03,277
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
503
00:25:03,301 --> 00:25:05,580
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
504
00:25:05,604 --> 00:25:07,437
♪ Yeah, we tease him A lot ♪
34966
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