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1
00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:04,914
Too bad you went to
sleep early last night.
2
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:08,251
Why? What'd you have in mind?
3
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,653
There was a terrific movie
on, the late show. Spy movie.
4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,288
It was all about
this Israeli spy,
5
00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:14,391
has to deliver this
microfilm to this guy
6
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,192
on the Lower East
Side of New York.
7
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:17,994
They give him a code.
He's supposed to say:
8
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,863
"The sky above, the mud below."
9
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:22,732
The other guy's supposed to say:
"Okay, I'm your contact." Right?
10
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,335
So he gets on the Lower
East Side of Delancey Street.
11
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,336
Looks in the directory.
12
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,938
There's two Bernsteins.
13
00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:29,105
What did he do?
14
00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,707
He had this code, so he figured
15
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,241
he'd try the one
on the first floor.
16
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:33,943
So he knocks on the
door. A little old man
17
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:36,413
peeks through the keyhole
and he goes... Ah, he goes:
18
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:37,747
"Mr. Bernstein,
19
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,283
the sky above, the mud below."
20
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:41,718
Old man looks at him and says,
21
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,686
"You don't want me, you
want Bernstein the spy
22
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:44,876
on the second floor."
23
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,793
Welcome Back,
Kotter is recorded live
24
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,362
before a studio audience.
25
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:03,039
♪ Welcome back ♪
26
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:06,777
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
27
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:09,011
♪ Welcome back ♪
28
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:13,850
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
29
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:16,019
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
30
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:18,121
♪ Since you hung around ♪
31
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:20,356
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
32
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,592
♪ And they've turned around ♪
33
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,894
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
34
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,896
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
35
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,832
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
36
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,001
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
37
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:32,936
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
38
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,171
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
39
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,006
♪ Welcome back ♪
40
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,609
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
41
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,711
♪ Welcome back ♪
42
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,980
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
43
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:47,139
♪ Welcome back ♪
44
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,029
♪ Oh, the black magic ♪
45
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,565
♪ Has me in its spell ♪
46
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,401
♪ That old black magic ♪
47
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,736
♪ That I weave so well ♪
48
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,505
Good morning, Charlie.
49
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,206
Good morning, Gabe.
50
00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:13,276
To the patron saint
of science teachers.
51
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:16,235
To Baron Von Frankenstein.
52
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,584
Ohhhhh.
53
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,787
Charlie, when you die, it's
gonna take 'em nine days
54
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,222
to beat your liver to death.
55
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:27,023
Oh.
56
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,892
When you hear my news,
you're gonna wish you were dead.
57
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:32,662
You are being reviewed today.
58
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:35,086
So look like a teacher.
Look miserable.
59
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:40,803
I'm sorry. I can't. I'm happy.
60
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,872
There's no time to be happy.
61
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,675
When Woodman comes
in and looks at your class,
62
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:48,010
tell the Sweathogs
to shut up and study.
63
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:49,546
I'm telling you,
I've been trying
64
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,114
some experimental
things in class.
65
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:52,882
And they're really
starting to pay off.
66
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,517
Instead of them
memorizing dates,
67
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,419
I'm making them
think for themselves.
68
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,922
For the first time, I
feel like a teacher.
69
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,858
I'm not gonna give that up
just 'cause it's review day.
70
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:05,929
Well, let's hope Woodman
is in a good mood.
71
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,430
Where's your class, Kotter?
72
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,032
The bell just rang.
73
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,100
Piper, get to your
classroom. Yes, sir.
74
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,535
If I weren't in
such a good mood,
75
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,439
I'd have both
your jobs for this.
76
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,075
If I weren't in
such a good mood,
77
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,476
I'd have both
your jobs for this.
78
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,711
Piper, in your class.
79
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,648
That's pretty good.
80
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,049
Like that, huh?
81
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:28,240
You're lucky he's
in a good mood.
82
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:48,972
Come on, dance, Mr. Kotter.
83
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,440
Get down. Oh, yeah.
84
00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,317
Okay. Now, all of you.
85
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:01,651
♪ Let's twist again ♪
86
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,453
♪ Like we did Last summer ♪
87
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:04,754
♪ Let's twist again... ♪
88
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:08,046
You're an oldie but
a goody, Mr. Kotter.
89
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,597
Come on, let's get to
work. Okay. Let's move it.
90
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,432
Mr. Kotter, we took
the liberty to assume
91
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,868
that we was gonna rap
like we was doing yesterday,
92
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,136
all right?
93
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,672
You really got into what
we were doing yesterday?
94
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,174
Okay, come on
everybody, get into a circle.
95
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,809
Yeah. Let's go. Circle.
96
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,846
You know that the circle is
the oldest form of education?
97
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,315
It goes back as
far as history itself.
98
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,439
I want you to...
99
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,020
I want you to feel free
100
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,522
to talk about anything
you wanna talk about.
101
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:42,180
Ooh! Ooh, ooh! Ooh!
102
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,995
Arnold, you wanna say something?
103
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:50,288
Last night on television,
I saw The Wizard of Oz.
104
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:54,459
For the 14th time.
105
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:56,906
Okay, all right, all right.
106
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,775
What do you think The
Wizard of Oz was about?
107
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,576
Oh, it was about, uh,
2 hours and 20 minutes
108
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,179
including commercials.
109
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:05,248
Man, no, it was a
lot of made-up junk
110
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:08,985
about a lot of dudes
in animal suits.
111
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,086
Yeah, but they all
represented people, Freddie.
112
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,523
Like, the, uh, Scarecrow
was looking for brains.
113
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:14,824
Like Horshack.
114
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,493
Come on.
115
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,428
Come on.
116
00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:22,798
Yeah, and... And that man in
that old dumb garbage-can suit,
117
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,099
he needed a heart.
118
00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:25,803
Like Epstein. Right.
119
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,841
And the Lion, he needed courage.
120
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,978
All right, put 'em up, put
'em up. Come on, put 'em up.
121
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,715
I'll fight you with both hands
behind my back. Come on.
122
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:42,385
I'll fight you with an eraser in
my hand. Nyah, nyah, nyah.
123
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:47,123
Very impressive, Mr. Kotter.
124
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,692
Okay, the point of
The Wizard of Oz
125
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:53,096
was that they were all going
for something they already had.
126
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,463
They just didn't realize it.
127
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:56,654
Boy, were they dumb.
128
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,602
Hey, look, man,
why are we going on
129
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,137
about an old, stupid kid movie?
130
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,772
Man, that ain't cool.
131
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:05,508
It's really important to you,
Freddie, huh, trying to be cool?
132
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,378
Hey, look, man, I don't
have to try to be cool.
133
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,435
I am cool.
134
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,817
Hey, just turn down the lights.
135
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,385
- He'll heat up. Hee-hee!
- Ooh!
136
00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:19,422
Okay, all right. Now,
it's all right to be cool,
137
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,790
but you gotta be
a cool something.
138
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:23,326
Okay.
139
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,661
I wanna build
the tallest building
140
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,930
in the world.
141
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,264
What are you gonna call
it, Washington Heights?
142
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,224
No.
143
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,172
I think I'm gonna call it
144
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,907
the Boom Boom Building.
145
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,478
All right, Epstein,
what do you wanna do?
146
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,902
I'm gonna be a typhoon.
147
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,473
A restaurant typhoon, huh?
148
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,722
Juan Epstein,
caterer to the stars.
149
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,492
Puerto Rican-Jewish
delicacies a specialty.
150
00:06:56,516 --> 00:07:00,352
Hello, this is Epstein,
the refried matzo ball king.
151
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,466
What are you doing, Kotter?
152
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,889
Groucho.
153
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,474
Mr. Woodman, I'm
trying something new.
154
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,309
Watch, it'll the high
point of your day.
155
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,779
My day has no high points.
156
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,046
What's going on here?
157
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,748
We're, uh, rapping.
158
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,338
"Wrapping"?
Wrapping what, Kotter?
159
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:26,189
I'll just stand back here, uh,
reviewing everything you do.
160
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:29,892
Okay, Barbarino, what kind
of adult do you wanna be?
161
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:34,030
I can tell you the kind of
adult I wanna be in two words:
162
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,099
Marlon Brando.
163
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,102
All right, all right,
all right, hey.
164
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,204
Do you wanna go to
acting school, Vinnie?
165
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:43,339
No, I don't have to.
166
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,708
I'm gonna be
discovered in a drugstore.
167
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,667
Wearing a tight sweater?
168
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,682
Hey, let's do a scene for them
169
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:53,916
from The Godfather.
170
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,052
All right. You
ready? Watch this.
171
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,021
We have to sit through
this? Be right back.
172
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,405
Another magic
moment in the theater.
173
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:27,083
Don Barbarino, I
come to ask you a favor.
174
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,572
What?
175
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:33,178
A favor, Don Barbarino.
176
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,724
What?
177
00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:38,861
Hey, that was pretty good.
178
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:42,320
Hey, that's a cool scene,
man. That's pretty cool.
179
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,004
This is all very
interesting, Kotter,
180
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,073
but don't you think it's
time you started class?
181
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,741
Mr. Woodman, this is class.
182
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,743
Kotter, you're not
using the textbook.
183
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,579
Mr... Ungh!
184
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,147
In case you haven't noticed,
185
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,549
we Sweathogs are
forgotten people.
186
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:03,086
I mean, we don't get good books.
187
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,587
We get this.
188
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:06,756
Are you trying to tell
me that's a bad book?
189
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,613
It's the pits.
190
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,360
Pits? What pits?
191
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,128
I mean, what does he
mean by that, Kotter?
192
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:15,264
He means that it has
no relevance to his life.
193
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,900
That it's outdated.
Look at this.
194
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:21,226
"Soon the railroad will
span the entire country."
195
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:26,330
"Texas is the largest
of our 39 states."
196
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:31,302
Oh, here's a good one.
"They predict television."
197
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,619
You're joking, Kotter.
198
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,755
Okay, I'm joking
about the railroad
199
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:41,591
and, uh, Texas but look, it
says: "They predict television."
200
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:45,094
They were right, weren't they?
That doesn't make it a bad book.
201
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,597
Mr. Woodman, it's the pits.
202
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,565
What...? What...?
What pits, Kotter?
203
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,768
Could I have a word
with you alone in the hall?
204
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,170
Okay. Try to keep
this discussion going.
205
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,338
I'll be right back.
206
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:56,828
Good luck.
207
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,578
Mr. Woodman, look, I know my
methods are a little unorthodox.
208
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,180
Unorthodox, Kotter?
209
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,781
Try crazy, try insane.
210
00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,805
Try nutsy cuckoo.
211
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,552
You didn't like it?
212
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:12,688
Kotter, I used to
teach social studies.
213
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:14,757
Social studies is
memorizing names,
214
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:15,958
places, dates.
215
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,794
♪ In 1492 ♪
216
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,596
♪ Columbus sailed
The ocean blue ♪
217
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,698
That's nutsy cuckoo.
218
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:25,534
Mr. Woodman, that's
reciting, not learning.
219
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:28,904
Learning is a discussion
between people, a dialogue.
220
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,273
The ancient Greeks did it.
221
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,241
Where are your ancient
Greeks today, Kotter?
222
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:36,112
They're all in a
restaurant on 9th Avenue.
223
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,714
Look, Mr. Woodman, you
said yourself it was interesting.
224
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,382
It's not school, Kotter.
225
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,117
You talk, they
listen. That's school.
226
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,286
That's the way I taught.
227
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,787
That's the way
you have to teach.
228
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,656
I'm sorry, Mr. Woodman,
I'm really sorry.
229
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,923
I'm not gonna hurt these kids
230
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,992
by following an
outdated set of rules.
231
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:53,295
Well then, Kotter, this school
isn't big enough for both of us.
232
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,130
I'm bringing you up on charges
233
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,466
before the teachers'
review board.
234
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,969
You're kidding. I
never kid, Kotter.
235
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,326
I have no sense of humor.
236
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,508
I'll take your class.
237
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:06,942
Turn in your chalk.
238
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,733
You're suspended.
239
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:15,918
That's the pits.
240
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,142
♪ Welcome back ♪
241
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:25,327
Miss Riley will act as,
uh, arbiter in this case.
242
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,964
Miss Riley, this is the
accused's friend, Mr. Piper.
243
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:28,964
How do you do?
244
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,566
This is the accused, Mr. Kotter.
245
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:33,135
The accused's wife, Mrs.
Kotter. RILEY: Mrs. Kotter.
246
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:36,505
My husband is a
wonderful teacher.
247
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,474
Wonderful.
248
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:41,077
My wife is here
for moral support.
249
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,012
Yes. Hm.
250
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,214
Michael, will you
read your charges
251
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,582
against Mr. Kotter, please?
252
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,951
With pleasure.
253
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,086
"Gabriel Kotter has
heretofore refused
254
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,355
"to use the assigned textbook,
255
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,691
"failed to follow the
prescribed curriculum
256
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,159
"and is in violation
of Section 3
257
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,095
"of the education code.
258
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,262
In addition to that,
259
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:03,466
he does Groucho
Marx in the classroom."
260
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,735
Ahem. Miss Riley, uh, I'm
here as a character witness
261
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:08,838
for Mr. Kotter. May
I say a few words?
262
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,039
Yes.
263
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:14,877
My colleague Gabe
Kotter is a terrific guy.
264
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,179
I take it you've known
him a long time?
265
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:19,782
Oh, yes. Four, five weeks.
266
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,483
He is a great teacher.
267
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,953
You have observed his class?
268
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:27,122
Uh... You may recall
the incident of a teacher
269
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:30,058
that was arrested in the
balcony of a Times Square movie?
270
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,549
He is not the man.
271
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,198
Thanks a lot, Charlie.
You just won the award
272
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,133
for Best Performance
by a Moral Supporter
273
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,968
in a Nonsupporting Role.
274
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,971
Ah, Mr. Kotter, are
your students planning
275
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,105
to attend this meeting?
276
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,906
No, of course, not.
277
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:47,042
His Sweathogs had
the nerve to ask me
278
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:49,078
for permission to be here.
279
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,413
Permission which
I naturally denied.
280
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,614
That's not fair.
281
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:54,150
I mean, what
we're deciding today
282
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:55,585
is who's gonna teach those kids,
283
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:58,487
and I think they should be
part of that decision, right?
284
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,224
I mean, I'm thinking
that they should be here.
285
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:02,313
I see.
286
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,656
Make a-way for the
paint and paper men.
287
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,070
Just a moment.
288
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,838
There's a meeting going on here.
289
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,841
Hey, mac, when you hire
the Linguini brothers to work,
290
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,643
the Linguini
brothers, we a-work.
291
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,311
Hey, right, Nozzio?
292
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,569
That's a-right,
Guido. All right.
293
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:27,783
This is absurd.
294
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,840
What could be more
ridiculous than this?
295
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,964
Kotter.
296
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,833
I know that face.
297
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,735
What?
298
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,303
That's you, Barbarino.
299
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,760
Where?
300
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,000
Barbarino, are
you in there alone?
301
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:02,307
Mr. Kotter, are
these your students?
302
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:06,722
Yes, these are my Sweathogs.
303
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,124
That's Moe, Larry, Curly.
304
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,814
And that's Raquel.
305
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,062
Why did you guys
come dressed like this?
306
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:16,865
'Cause Mr. Woodman said
no Sweathogs could be here.
307
00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:19,268
So we've been doing like
we've been doing in class.
308
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:22,238
We started asking
ourselves questions.
309
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:26,075
"Selves," we asked,
310
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:29,077
"what can we do to help
Mr. Kotter beat this rap," but...
311
00:14:29,101 --> 00:14:31,847
At first, our selves
didn't answer.
312
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,649
But suddenly, out of nowhere,
313
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:37,486
a voice came into
our heads and said,
314
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:40,589
"Go to the li-bary."
315
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,792
They went to the library?
316
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,629
You went to the library
where they keep the books?
317
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,831
Yeah, and for three whole days
318
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:52,123
we's been looking up what
you call legal "presidents."
319
00:14:55,628 --> 00:15:01,811
"Grant v. Richmond,
"Dempsey v. Tunney,
320
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:05,136
Flippo the Seal v.
Caesar's Palace."
321
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:07,883
Here we are.
322
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,719
"Section 3, Subsection 8,
323
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,622
Paragraph 4 of
the city charter."
324
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,323
Whatever that is.
325
00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,748
"Any teacher...
326
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:22,031
"Any teacher
placed on suspension
327
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:25,467
has the right to
a public hearing."
328
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:28,670
Mr. Kotter, your students
are somewhat offbeat.
329
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:33,798
Quiet!
330
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,714
But they may speak
if they will keep it brief.
331
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,316
Okay, Barbarino.
332
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,839
Take the stand.
333
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:45,754
Where should I take it?
334
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,379
It's a little joke.
335
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:50,948
All right.
336
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,620
Don't look.
337
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,438
All right, now.
338
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:06,208
"I would really
like Mr. Kotter back
339
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,243
"'cause I figure his replacement
340
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:09,633
could be worse."
341
00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:13,148
Thanks a lot, Vinnie.
342
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,818
Hey, I ain't through yet.
343
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:21,223
"Now, I just think
Mr. Kotter's a pretty good guy."
344
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,826
About half the time.
345
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,094
"And... And..."
346
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,862
And a wonderful teacher. Yeah.
347
00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:30,966
And a wonderful teacher.
348
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,802
And don't let this
dress fool you.
349
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,004
I really mean it.
350
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:39,775
Barbarino.
351
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:42,511
Thank you. And,
uh, Goodyear called.
352
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,855
They'd like their blimps back.
353
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:48,793
Pretty good speech, baby.
354
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,048
Hi, there.
355
00:16:59,318 --> 00:17:02,631
Yeah, I'm just your average
student from off the streets
356
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:06,202
and personally, I feel
Mr. Kotter is a bad teacher.
357
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:09,271
You think he's a bad
teacher? No, no, no, no, no.
358
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:13,208
I mean, not bad like
bad, but bad like...
359
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:14,912
bad.
360
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,069
Oh... bad.
361
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,652
See, most teachers
ask you a question,
362
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,654
they expect you to
guess the right answer.
363
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:26,989
Well, my main man Mr. Kotter,
364
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,724
he let's us ask
our own questions.
365
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,226
See, and sometimes, there's
more than one right answer.
366
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,462
Which means, all them
times that I was wrong,
367
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:34,463
I was right.
368
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,398
You see, um, I was right.
369
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,423
I thank you.
370
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,766
Hello.
371
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,815
How are you?
372
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,619
I'm Arnold Horshack.
373
00:17:56,643 --> 00:18:00,122
And up until now,
going to school to me
374
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:03,225
has always been
like being vaccinated.
375
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,095
What do you mean, vaccinated?
376
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,031
Well, see, a subject
is something you take
377
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,933
and once you've had it,
378
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:14,425
you are immune and
need not ever take it again.
379
00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:20,042
But, Mr. Kotter here,
he's not like that.
380
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:23,779
I mean, he really
expects us to learn.
381
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:28,439
And it takes a heap of
learning to make a boy a man.
382
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:33,255
Hey, Arnold, hey.
383
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,179
That's a good speech.
384
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:39,294
You're a wonderful
pupil, Arnold.
385
00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:40,929
Hey, my man.
386
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,520
That's pretty good.
387
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,468
I, uh... I think my colleagues
388
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,402
expressed themselves
pretty good on the...
389
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:49,838
On the matter of Mr. Kotter
getting the ax, you know.
390
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,541
So I got a list of grievances
of my own I'd like to air.
391
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,547
First of all, "The food
in the cafeteria stinks."
392
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,049
Right. Second of all...
393
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:01,316
Completely irrelevant.
394
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,319
Irrelevant? You mean
with the trunk and ears?
395
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,877
Hey, there's a whole lot
of "relevance" in the circus.
396
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,524
Mr. Ravelli. Yeah, boss.
397
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,492
I had an elephant in my pajamas.
398
00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:11,826
How he got in I'll never know.
399
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,628
Hey, that's a-pretty good.
400
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,330
There, that's a
violation of Section 3.
401
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:17,265
He's imitating Groucho Marx.
402
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:21,036
I'm sorry, Miss Riley,
I got carried away.
403
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,672
Epstein, take a chair.
404
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,297
No, no, not that one.
405
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:32,469
No need to get red
and puffy, Michael.
406
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,353
Mr. Kotter, is there
anything you'd like to say
407
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,888
in your own behalf?
408
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:41,111
In your own voice.
409
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:46,644
Certainly. Um... Certainly.
410
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:50,166
Miss Riley, I'm a teacher.
411
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,500
That's why it says on my locker:
412
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,468
"Mr. Kotter, Teacher."
413
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:56,238
And I'm teaching a group
of kids known as Sweathogs.
414
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:58,106
Now, contrary to
popular opinion,
415
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,008
Sweathogs are not dumb.
416
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,943
I mean, a dumb person
does not think of a way
417
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,847
to make it rain in
the gymnasium.
418
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,137
I did that.
419
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:12,154
Unfortunately, normal
teaching methods
420
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,123
don't seem to
work for these kids.
421
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,825
I mean if they did, well, then
they wouldn't be Sweathogs.
422
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,960
Don't you see? They're
gonna have to survive
423
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,695
in the world of the future.
424
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,530
And if they learn how to learn,
425
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,289
well, then they'll be
able to survive anywhere.
426
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:29,671
Copies of this speech
can be obtained
427
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:32,207
by writing Fockle Press...
428
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,377
Great speech, Mr. Kotter.
429
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,881
Very good. All right.
430
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,550
Isn't he a wonderful teacher?
431
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,784
Wonderful.
432
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,486
Michael, would you
care to say anything
433
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,354
before I make my decision?
434
00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:49,191
I think my case speaks
for itself, Miss Riley.
435
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,459
Very well.
436
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:55,130
Uh, Mr. Kotter, I may not
approve of your methods,
437
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:59,034
but I do believe in the
rights of teachers to teach.
438
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:02,404
Now, I... I was impressed
by your Sweathounds'...
439
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,972
Hogs.
440
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:07,910
Sweathogs', uh,
initiative in doing research
441
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,444
to save your job.
442
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:10,745
It seems that there...
443
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:13,415
There is a method
in your madness.
444
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,685
Now, uh, you may think
I'm old-fashioned, Mr. Kotter,
445
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:17,753
but in my youth,
446
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:22,558
I was considered
rather radical myself.
447
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:24,593
I vote to retain you.
448
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,194
I demand a recount!
449
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:27,796
Eh, we won, stupid.
450
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,898
We won. We won.
451
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:31,299
Miss Riley. Miss Riley.
452
00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:33,702
The man's methods,
they're nutsy cuckoo.
453
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:35,103
Well, you taught him, Michael.
454
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,860
You should be proud.
455
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:40,542
Now, there is one condition.
456
00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:42,177
The, uh... The regulations say
457
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:44,434
that you must use the textbook.
458
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:47,849
Okay, I'll use the book.
459
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:51,019
Good. This meeting is adjourned.
460
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,054
This is nutsy.
461
00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:54,311
Nutsy. Nutsy!
462
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:57,025
Oh, Mr. Kotter,
463
00:21:57,049 --> 00:22:00,629
I think I know what
you've been going through.
464
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,832
I was a teacher
myself for 40-odd years.
465
00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:05,834
And there were 40
of the oddest years
466
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:07,792
I've ever known.
467
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,382
Well, I think I'll just leave
my wonderful husband
468
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:24,319
with his wonderful students.
469
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,021
Congratulations, Gabe.
470
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:27,878
I'm glad I could help.
471
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:35,085
We won.
472
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:41,437
You think I copped
out, don't you?
473
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:44,372
Yeah, and after all
them fancy words.
474
00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:47,442
Hey, man, you acted
just like everybody else.
475
00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:50,245
Yeah, we thought the Wizard
was gonna give you some courage.
476
00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:52,881
You promised to use
those dumb, old books.
477
00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:56,651
Aha! But I didn't say how I
was gonna use the books.
478
00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:58,019
Okay.
479
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,677
Everybody take one.
480
00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,958
Now, I'm gonna
teach you all something
481
00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:05,527
you're very badly in need of.
482
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:06,928
What?
483
00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:08,085
Posture.
484
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,499
Walk like this.
485
00:23:11,523 --> 00:23:12,801
Walk straight. Walk proud.
486
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:15,670
Remember, we're Sweathogs.
487
00:23:15,694 --> 00:23:18,540
♪ Welcome back ♪
488
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:21,276
♪ Your dreams were your... ♪
489
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,245
Did I ever tell you what
happened the last time
490
00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:24,913
I went to see my
grandmother in Miami?
491
00:23:24,937 --> 00:23:27,682
No, but you will. Okay,
I'm on the plane, right?
492
00:23:27,706 --> 00:23:29,818
There's this little old
lady sitting next to me.
493
00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:31,686
She's got this big
diamond ring. Yeah.
494
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:34,089
So I said, look, lady, I
must compliment you.
495
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:36,058
That's a beautiful diamond ring.
496
00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:39,694
She says, "You don't know
what this diamond ring is?
497
00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:42,630
This is the famous
Platnick diamond."
498
00:23:42,654 --> 00:23:45,400
The famous Platnick diamond.
499
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,802
I said, Wow, that's terrific.
500
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,236
She said, "Not so terrific.
501
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,006
There's a terrible curse
comes with this diamond."
502
00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:52,307
I said, what's the curse?
503
00:23:52,331 --> 00:23:55,343
She says, "Sam Platnick."
504
00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:57,979
♪ Welcome back ♪
505
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:01,371
♪ Your dreams
were your Ticket out ♪
506
00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:13,528
♪ Welcome back ♪
507
00:24:13,552 --> 00:24:16,197
♪ Your dreams
were your Ticket out ♪
508
00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:19,201
♪ Welcome back ♪
509
00:24:19,225 --> 00:24:24,005
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
510
00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:26,241
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
511
00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:28,477
♪ Since you hung around ♪
512
00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:30,645
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
513
00:24:30,669 --> 00:24:32,914
♪ And they've turned around ♪
514
00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:35,083
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
515
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:36,885
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
516
00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:39,020
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
517
00:24:39,044 --> 00:24:41,056
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
518
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,225
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
519
00:24:43,249 --> 00:24:45,360
♪ 'Cause we got
him On the spot ♪
520
00:24:45,384 --> 00:24:47,462
♪ Welcome back ♪
521
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:49,698
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
522
00:24:49,722 --> 00:24:51,867
♪ Welcome back ♪
523
00:24:51,891 --> 00:24:54,202
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
524
00:24:54,226 --> 00:24:56,205
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
525
00:24:56,229 --> 00:24:58,439
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
526
00:24:58,463 --> 00:25:00,608
♪ 'Cause we got
him On the spot ♪
527
00:25:00,632 --> 00:25:02,844
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
528
00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:04,946
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
529
00:25:04,970 --> 00:25:07,115
♪ 'Cause we got
him On the spot ♪
530
00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:09,206
♪ Welcome back ♪
36134
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