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1
00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:14,424
Gabe, what are
you doing out here?
2
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:15,747
It's almost midnight.
3
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,734
Just listening to the wind
4
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,998
whistle through my shorts.
5
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,811
What's bothering you, honey?
6
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,413
There was something
going on all week
7
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,715
with those kids in my class.
8
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,784
I couldn't figure
out what it was.
9
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,119
Well, then how do you know
that something's going on?
10
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,054
They're not acting
like themselves.
11
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:47,011
They're acting like people.
12
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:51,094
They're talking
instead of yelling.
13
00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:53,463
Epstein has showed
up three straight days.
14
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:54,797
And Barbarino hasn't tried to
15
00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:56,661
take over the school all week.
16
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:01,271
Gabe, don't worry so much.
17
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,539
You're the best teacher I know.
18
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,543
I'm the only teacher you know.
19
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,378
I'm a failure.
20
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,846
The kids don't trust me.
21
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:10,946
They had a problem,
22
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:13,416
and they wouldn't
come to me with it.
23
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,752
Maybe I wasn't cut
out to be a teacher.
24
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,710
Maybe I should have gone
off with Jacques Cousteau.
25
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,591
Jacques Cousteau?
26
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:25,183
Our ship was stuck in heavy ice.
27
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,433
It had been a very
difficult crossing.
28
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,335
Some of the crew of Calypso
29
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,426
had gotten friendly
with pelicans.
30
00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:39,409
Welcome Back
Kotter is recorded live
31
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before a studio audience.
32
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♪ Welcome back ♪
33
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:55,558
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
34
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,760
♪ Welcome back ♪
35
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:02,499
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
36
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,668
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
37
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,902
♪ Since you hung around ♪
38
00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:09,071
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
39
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:11,441
♪ And they've turned around ♪
40
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,443
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
41
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,445
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
42
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,614
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
43
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,649
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
44
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,717
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
45
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:23,920
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
46
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:26,022
♪ Welcome back ♪
47
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,258
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
48
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,460
♪ Welcome back ♪
49
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,662
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
50
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:35,553
♪ Welcome back ♪
51
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:38,401
Nobody trusts me.
52
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:41,070
Nobody's ever trusted
me my whole life.
53
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,605
Even my father didn't trust me.
54
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:44,741
That's not true.
55
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,442
Then how come I had
to give him a receipt
56
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,132
for my allowance?
57
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,514
I trust you.
58
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,983
You're supposed
to. We're married.
59
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,286
Comes with the deal.
60
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,453
I know.
61
00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:59,789
I remember the vows
we wrote for our wedding.
62
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,192
To love, honor and trust.
63
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:03,894
Right. And I remember
my father told you
64
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:05,317
to ask for a receipt.
65
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,488
I know. I still have it.
66
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,675
That's my father,
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00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,577
tell him the receipt
for my birthday present
68
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:22,881
is in the mail.
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00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:24,836
Hello.
70
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,049
Oh, ho... Yeah, hold on.
71
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:28,418
Honey, it's Boom Boom.
72
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,722
Boom Boom who?
73
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,089
How many Boom Booms do you know?
74
00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:35,391
Freddie Boom Boom?
75
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,560
Hi, Freddie.
76
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:41,298
It's shaking fine. How's
it shaking with you?
77
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,099
Good.
78
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:44,634
Don't... No, hey, don't worry.
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00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:45,868
Look, you can trust me.
80
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,738
You can trust me. Okay, bye.
81
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,740
Freddie Washington
and Vernajean Williams
82
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,075
are coming right over here.
83
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,010
They got a problem
they wanna talk about.
84
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,112
Put on your robe. They
said they'll be right over.
85
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,413
I wonder what took 'em so long.
86
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,887
Quick, shut the door.
87
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,311
I don't want nobody to see me.
88
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:17,700
Barbarino, are you dressed
for the Late, Late Show?
89
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:20,203
It's midnight, sweetheart.
90
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,027
Did you bring the Falcon?
91
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:23,628
What?
92
00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:27,744
Maltese falcon.
93
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:28,768
Where?
94
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,647
Never mind.
95
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:33,350
Barbarino, what
are you doing here?
96
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,684
Mr. Kotter. I gotta talk to you.
97
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:38,087
But you gotta promise
not to tell anybody.
98
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,323
My lips are sealed.
99
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,692
It's about Freddie
and Vernajean.
100
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,593
They're quitting
school to get married.
101
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,595
What?
102
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,452
And they don't even have to.
103
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:51,634
You gotta do something.
104
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,405
Right now I gotta
answer the door.
105
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,806
I don't want nobody to know
that I'm talking to a teacher.
106
00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:59,775
You gotta hide me.
Quick, into the bathroom.
107
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,839
All right.
108
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,714
Quick. Shut the door.
109
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,019
I don't want anybody to see me.
110
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,785
Mr. Kotter, I gotta talk to you.
111
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,086
Uh, Julie, what do you know?
112
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,287
There's a Late, Late Show
113
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,689
has the double feature tonight.
114
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,057
Yeah, yeah.
115
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:16,458
Listen, Freddie and Vernajean,
they wanna get married.
116
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,594
And you gotta stop it.
117
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,295
I'll hide in the bathroom.
118
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,496
Uh, you better not.
119
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,053
Uh, Vinnie's hiding
in the bathroom.
120
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,522
That's okay.
121
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:32,604
Close the door.
122
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,947
I don't want nobody
to see me here.
123
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,350
I certainly don't blame you.
124
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:42,284
You look ridiculous.
125
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:44,887
Hey. Freddie and
Vernajean wanna get married.
126
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,455
Oh, really? Ha-ha.
127
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:47,857
Hear that, Julie?
128
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,858
And you want
Mr. Kotter to stop them?
129
00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:51,561
No. Hey, look, I don't know.
130
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,562
I mean, like, it ought to
be up to them, you know?
131
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,665
Like, everybody's been
messing with their head.
132
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,433
You gotta get people
to leave them alone.
133
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:58,635
Hey.
134
00:05:58,659 --> 00:05:59,835
I gotta answer the door.
135
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,103
I don't want nobody to see me.
136
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,472
I'm gonna hide. Oh, no, no, no.
137
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:03,862
You hide in the closet.
138
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:15,951
Quick, shut the door.
139
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,820
I don't want nobody to see me.
140
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,216
Arnold, will you please
take off that head?
141
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:32,257
It's hot in there, Mr. Kotter.
142
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,594
I don't know how them
gorillas can stand it.
143
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,177
Mr. Kotter, I gotta talk to you.
144
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,311
Don't tell me.
145
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:44,513
Vernajean Williams and
Freddie wanna get married.
146
00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:46,315
And you want Mr. Kotter
to either stop them
147
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,583
or leave them alone.
148
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:50,442
That is truly amazing.
149
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:54,613
Do you do card tricks too?
150
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,928
Look. Arnold, I
can't stop a wedding.
151
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,830
I don't want you to
stop the wedding.
152
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,465
I think it's very romantic.
153
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:05,034
I want you to stop Vinnie
from stopping the wedding.
154
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,578
Hey!
155
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,239
You got somebody
in the bathroom?
156
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,296
The Ty-D-Bol man.
157
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:18,481
I gotta hide me!
158
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,816
No, you... I'll... I'll...
159
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:20,949
Go on the fire escape,
160
00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:22,852
pretend it's the
Empire State Building.
161
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,720
Right, right. Go ahead,
King Kong, okay?
162
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:26,689
Whoa!
163
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,058
That's Vernajean and
Washington. What are we gonna do?
164
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,127
I think we're gonna look
for a bigger apartment.
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00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:36,521
Hi.
166
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,174
How you doing?
167
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,276
Hey. Okay.
168
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,645
Maybe we came at a bad time.
169
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,246
No, we were just spending
170
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,115
a quiet evening at home.
171
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,282
Please, sit down.
172
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,051
Hey, look, thanks
for letting us fall by,
173
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,219
Mr. and Mrs. Kotter.
174
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,487
Yeah, we really appreciate this.
175
00:07:58,511 --> 00:07:59,791
So...
176
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:02,447
Anything new?
177
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:04,894
Well...
178
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:07,229
Vernajean and me,
um, we getting married.
179
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:08,932
A-and don't try
to talk us out of it.
180
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:11,000
Can I ask you why
you're getting married?
181
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:14,471
Vernajean's family's
moving to Staten Island.
182
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,106
So? It's not like Staten
Island's on another planet.
183
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:20,565
I can see you ain't never
been to Staten Island.
184
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:22,444
Look, man...
185
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,179
Anyway, Vernajean's
daddy and me,
186
00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:25,682
we don't exactly see eye to eye.
187
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,017
Yeah, we're not even
supposed to see each other.
188
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:31,553
Which is kind of hard,
sitting in the same classroom.
189
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:35,158
So, um... we getting married.
190
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,626
You know, marriage
is a very big step.
191
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:40,129
I mean, do you really
think that you're ready?
192
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,599
Yeah, we're ready. I mean...
193
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,433
We're in love, and...
194
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,435
I mean, that's enough.
195
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,071
I don't know if it is, Freddie.
196
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,205
I mean, I am speaking
197
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,240
as an experienced
married person.
198
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,664
And marriage is not
all a bowl of cherries.
199
00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:00,077
Let me give you
an example, okay?
200
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,052
A wife buys a
shirt for a husband.
201
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,154
It's not an attractive shirt.
202
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,623
I mean, he feels like a fool
203
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,491
walking around
in that shirt, right?
204
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,893
But he wears it cause he
doesn't wanna hurt her feelings.
205
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:15,052
Gabe. You told me
you loved that shirt.
206
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,669
Julie, this is a
hypothetical situation.
207
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,759
I am not referring
to this shirt.
208
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:26,676
That is a $25 shirt.
209
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,477
Answer the question.
210
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,934
I hate the shirt.
211
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:33,682
What else have you lied about?
212
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,840
That's it. Nothing else.
213
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,978
Your tuna casserole.
214
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:49,399
You love my tuna casserole.
215
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:53,202
No. You love your
tuna casserole.
216
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:56,227
Nobody puts prunes
in a tuna casserole.
217
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,912
There is no person
in the civilized world...
218
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,680
Mr. Kotter. Mr. Kotter.
219
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,615
Mrs. Kotter. Heh.
220
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,450
We both know what
you all are doing.
221
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:09,719
You do? Mm-hm.
222
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,854
Yeah. You're
fighting in front of us
223
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,411
so we won't get married, right?
224
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,525
We are?
225
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:17,860
Of course.
226
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,195
Well, any fool can see
227
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,763
that you all really
love each other.
228
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,331
And you're only play-acting.
229
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,532
Right.
230
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,916
Right!
231
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,104
What was that?
232
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,293
Mice.
233
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:34,176
Well, anyway, we came over
to ask you to do us a favor.
234
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,545
If you could... give us our
wedding present in advance.
235
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:39,882
Yeah. Um... Could
you tell our parents?
236
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,946
Why don't I give you
a toaster instead?
237
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:46,136
You can write your
announcement on an English muffin.
238
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,793
Hey, look. No problem, baby.
239
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,828
We just won't tell our folks.
240
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:55,064
Conning a judge
ain't no big thing.
241
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,498
Sure, go ahead. Con a judge.
242
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:58,767
There's a lot of stupid
things you could do, Freddie.
243
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,103
You could run off to Maryland,
244
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,838
cause there's no
waiting period...
245
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,706
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait. But that's not...
246
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,141
Maryland. Hey, that's it, baby.
247
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,009
We can go off to
Maryland, lie about our age.
248
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:08,677
We ain't gotta wait
in Maryland. Ohh.
249
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,568
Hey! Thanks a lot, Mr. Kotter!
250
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:13,448
Thank you, man. Ha!
251
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:17,252
Hey, Mr. Kotter...
you are a super dude.
252
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:19,722
Hey, bye, Mr. Kotter.
Bye, Mrs. Kotter.
253
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:20,789
Bye-bye. Bye, mice.
254
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:21,991
Mrs. Kotter.
255
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,125
Bye.
256
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,365
Way to go, super dude.
257
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:32,290
You just talked them
right over two state lines.
258
00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:37,040
Some big help you were.
259
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,808
Now they're getting
married for sure.
260
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,142
Look, I didn't tell them...
261
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:41,377
You're not our friend.
262
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,879
You're nothing but a teacher.
263
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,180
Why can't I be your
teacher and your friend?
264
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,882
It don't work that way, Kotter.
265
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:49,919
You see... in this
vast universe of ours,
266
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:52,121
people are divided
into two groups:
267
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,778
us and them.
268
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:56,847
You're them.
269
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,952
We gotta go. Come on.
270
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:14,910
Did you hear that, Bensonhurst?
271
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,446
My father was right.
272
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,413
I can't be trusted.
273
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:22,085
I trust you, mac. Go to sleep.
274
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,787
♪ Welcome back ♪
275
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,478
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
276
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,026
Good morning.
277
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,128
Good morning, Mr. Kotter.
278
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,662
All right.
279
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,898
Now, yesterday
we had a problem...
280
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,300
because nobody trusted anybody.
281
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:39,802
Well, that's the
way of the world.
282
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,404
Barbarino, trust
is a two-way street.
283
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,828
Do you trust us?
284
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,880
Epstein... Barbarino...
285
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,782
Washington and Horshack.
286
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,846
Come over here with me.
287
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,019
What's happening, man?
288
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,043
What for?
289
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,147
Shazam!
290
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,149
Mr. Kotter!
291
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:07,563
Whoa.
292
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,766
Hey. How'd you know
we was gonna catch you?
293
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,902
It's the point,
Barbarino. I trusted you.
294
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,604
I knew that you guys
weren't gonna let me
295
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:15,860
fall on my face.
296
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,698
Okay. Sit down.
297
00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:25,736
That is very
impressive, Mr. Kotter.
298
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,979
Where did you learn to do that?
299
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,761
From the person I
trust most in the world.
300
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:39,962
From my wife.
301
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,329
You mean, every day you go home,
302
00:13:41,353 --> 00:13:43,132
you and Mrs. Kotter
fall off the furniture
303
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,166
with each other?
304
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:49,571
This is an object
lesson, Epstein.
305
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,173
The trust between a
husband and a wife
306
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,075
is the strongest
kind of trust there is.
307
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,977
You know, we spend a
lot of time in this school
308
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,847
teaching you about math,
about English, about science.
309
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,981
But we don't teach you
about being married.
310
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,551
Something that eventually
most of you are gonna do.
311
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,453
So today I've decided
to have a class...
312
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,589
on how to be married.
313
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,825
Can't learn marriage in
the classroom, Mr. Kotter.
314
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:11,593
You gotta pick it
up on the streets.
315
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:12,928
Yeah.
316
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,897
Okay, well, I am
taking it off the streets
317
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:17,299
and putting it into the
classroom, all right?
318
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:18,767
I'm gonna act out
a whole marriage
319
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,268
in one homeroom period.
320
00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:21,604
That's my kind of course.
321
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:23,906
Not much thinking
and plenty of action.
322
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:26,408
All right.
323
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,143
Okay, now,
Vernajean and Freddie,
324
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,811
you're planning to
run off to Maryland
325
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:30,813
to tie the knot.
326
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,948
So, uh, you can play the leads.
327
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,317
Oh, all right. What
you want us to do?
328
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:36,418
Just improvise.
329
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,321
You say whatever
comes into your head.
330
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,489
React to the moment.
331
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,258
Well, I ain't playing.
332
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,559
I ain't gonna contribute
333
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,095
to the delinquency of a minor.
334
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,296
Me neither.
335
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,064
I mean, you just gave
Vernajean the lead.
336
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:51,500
And even though you are
my dearest, dearest friend,
337
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,891
I do not play supporting roles.
338
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,841
Well, I'll play Mr. Kotter.
339
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,643
Don't you need
somebody to marry them?
340
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,545
Okay, Epstein. You marry them.
341
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,369
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
342
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,218
What about me? What can I do?
343
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,519
Horshack.
344
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:13,288
I've decided you're
against this marriage.
345
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:14,456
I am?
346
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,224
Yes.
347
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,682
Okay.
348
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,564
♪ Da, da-da-da ♪
349
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:24,088
♪ Da, da, da, da Da-da-da... ♪
350
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,326
♪ Da, da, da ♪
351
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,412
Okay, Epstein, will you
please conduct the ceremony.
352
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,458
Whoo! Whoo!
353
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:51,727
Hey man, that's
a pretty good tune.
354
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,929
But, um, what does that mean?
355
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,920
I don't know, but it's
on the charts in Israel.
356
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,568
Anybody got a wine glass on 'em?
357
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:00,603
No.
358
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,304
I got a thermos. Will that help?
359
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:03,961
It'll do in a pinch.
360
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,810
Step on it.
361
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:09,911
Oh!
362
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,459
Hello, hello.
363
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,826
Uh, Mr. Fiddler, would you
mind coming off your roof?
364
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,859
Oh.
365
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:26,828
Finish your ceremony.
366
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:27,963
Now...
367
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,366
By the power invested
in me by Mr. Kotter,
368
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:33,435
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
369
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:34,592
Mazel tov.
370
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,369
Who you calling a mazel tax?
371
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,710
Freddie, he just
wished you good luck.
372
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,294
If he says anything bad,
I'll let you know, okay?
373
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:47,349
Aren't you forgetting something?
374
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:48,373
Oh.
375
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:58,001
Well, I was drinking
too much coffee anyway.
376
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,029
Okay, marriage is over.
377
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,163
Time for the honeymoon.
378
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,865
Oh. Kiss me, baby.
Come here, baby.
379
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,088
Mmm.
380
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,938
Honeymoon is over. Aw...
381
00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:10,205
That's the honeymoon?
382
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:11,907
Well, this is a
10-minute marriage.
383
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:14,309
A five-second honeymoon.
Just about right.
384
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:15,778
Now it's time to have children.
385
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:16,811
Wait, wait. What?
386
00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:19,047
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
387
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:21,851
We wasn't planning to
have no kids right away.
388
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,849
Well, you know...
accidents do happen.
389
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,979
I think I was a accident.
390
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,599
Okay. Arnold, you come up here.
391
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:39,343
You play Vernajean's and
Freddie's accident. Okay.
392
00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:42,726
I'm sorry, Vinnie.
393
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:47,131
But a man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do.
394
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,875
He ain't exactly
what I had in mind.
395
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,856
Okay, now, the three
of you are at home
396
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,457
in your one-room apartment,
397
00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:04,727
when all of a sudden...
you get a visit...
398
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,962
from an unexpected guest.
399
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,930
I play the unexpected guest.
400
00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:11,434
Okay.
401
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,036
Doll, I wonder who that is?
402
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:17,940
It's Mr. Kotter playing
an unexpected guest.
403
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,379
Who is it?
404
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:27,983
My name is Vito Cornfeld.
405
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:31,053
I am from the Strong
Arm Rental Agency.
406
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:36,058
I am here to collect the
rent, because you people
407
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:38,316
have fallen 12 years behind.
408
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,339
Man, I thought
you paid the rent!
409
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:44,666
Don't worry, baby.
410
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,250
I'm gonna handle
the whole thing.
411
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,272
Hi, there.
412
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,273
Oh, hello.
413
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,441
You know, I've...
414
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,744
I've had a few business
setbacks, you know,
415
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,946
couple of bad
investments, and, um...
416
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,719
How about a little
more of that, uh, time?
417
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:06,988
I don't think you understand.
418
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:08,991
When they send
me to your door...
419
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:11,560
you're time is up.
420
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,498
That's the ugliest baby
421
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,188
I ever saw in my life.
422
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,940
Why don't you just go
ahead and pay the man?
423
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,208
He's upsetting my child.
424
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:28,010
Uh, don't bug me...
Don't bug me woman.
425
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,346
No rent is still too much
rent for this fleabag.
426
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,290
You tell him, Pop.
427
00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:34,683
Don't you yell at him.
428
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,386
It ain't his fault you
can't support us.
429
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,121
Okay, then whose fault is it?
430
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:42,057
If we hadn't gotten married, I
wouldn't have to quit school.
431
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,321
Well, look, it ain't my
fault that I got pregnant.
432
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,185
I don't why we got
married in the first place.
433
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:50,733
'Cause I didn't want you
434
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,568
going off meeting
new guys, that's why.
435
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:55,192
And going off with those
Staten Island dudes, that's why.
436
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,088
Yeah, I don't
wanna play anymore.
437
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,607
Hey.
438
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:12,977
Freddie.
439
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,859
Man, I promise
to be true to you.
440
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,127
Don't you trust me?
441
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,296
I don't believe this.
442
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,966
I mean, I'm worried
about you guys trusting me.
443
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,500
You don't even trust each other.
444
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:33,230
I think I just became a orphan.
445
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:37,946
Little Orphan Arnold.
446
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,722
Thanks a lot for the
opportunity, Mr. Kotter.
447
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,112
You know, I'm also available
for bris and bar mitzvahs.
448
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,330
Hey. Nice going.
449
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,698
The way you broke
up that marriage...
450
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,702
was very sneaky.
451
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:00,925
I like that in a person.
452
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,463
Thanks a lot, Vinnie. I
think you're sneaky too.
453
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,879
Freddie. Freddie, wait a second.
454
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,681
I mean, I don't
understand something.
455
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:14,983
Why didn't you tell Vernajean
the way you felt before?
456
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:18,254
Aw... Hey, I couldn't, man.
457
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,788
It's just not cool
to tell someone
458
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,890
you're afraid of losing them.
459
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,380
Hey... Freddie.
460
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,051
Man, you wouldn't lose me.
461
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:30,120
I wouldn't?
462
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,434
Mm-mm.
463
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,737
You mean, we don't
have to get married now?
464
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:37,995
Well... I'll take a rain check.
465
00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:41,176
Come on.
466
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,732
Hey, thanks.
467
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,205
♪ Da, da, da Da, da, da ♪
468
00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:06,134
The, uh, mind snaps
when you least expect,
469
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,457
doesn't it, Kotter?
470
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:10,506
I got through to
them, Mr. Woodman.
471
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,507
I got through to them.
472
00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:15,777
Pure luck, Kotter. It'll
never happen again.
473
00:22:15,801 --> 00:22:18,080
You can't discourage
me, Mr. Woodman.
474
00:22:18,104 --> 00:22:19,848
Nothing you can say
will make me go off
475
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:22,384
with Jacques Cousteau.
476
00:22:22,408 --> 00:22:25,542
I am invincible.
I am... teacher.
477
00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:37,321
You are nuts.
478
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,971
Don't be fooled by a
momentary victory, Kotter.
479
00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:45,307
The world is divided
into two parts:
480
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,930
us and them.
481
00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:49,866
And they're them.
482
00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:54,838
And come to think
of it... you're them too.
483
00:22:56,342 --> 00:22:58,554
Yeah? Well, thank you.
484
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:01,790
That's the nicest
remark I've ever heard.
485
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:04,159
♪ Welcome back ♪
486
00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:07,963
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
487
00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:08,987
♪ Welcome back ♪
488
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,299
Did I ever tell you
489
00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:13,301
that the Kotter family
has been in outer space?
490
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:15,003
No. But you will.
491
00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:17,839
I am serious, Julie.
My uncle, Buzz Kotter.
492
00:23:18,864 --> 00:23:20,142
He was an astronaut.
493
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:22,977
They sent him into outer
space with a monkey.
494
00:23:23,001 --> 00:23:24,012
Very exciting.
495
00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:25,681
I mean, five
minutes after takeoff,
496
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:26,881
a red light flashes on,
497
00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:28,683
tell the monkey to
activate the rockets
498
00:23:28,707 --> 00:23:30,652
and make sure there's
plenty of oxygen.
499
00:23:30,676 --> 00:23:32,153
Well, what did Uncle Buzz do?
500
00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:34,122
I'm getting to him. I'm
getting to him, okay?
501
00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:36,191
An hour later, another
green light flashes,
502
00:23:36,215 --> 00:23:39,294
tells the monkey to check
all temperature gauges.
503
00:23:39,318 --> 00:23:42,764
Then about five minutes later,
Uncle Buzz's red light flashes.
504
00:23:42,788 --> 00:23:45,934
And what did Uncle Buzz's
red light tell him to do?
505
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:47,558
Feed the monkey.
506
00:23:48,393 --> 00:23:50,939
♪ Welcome back ♪
507
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,963
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
508
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:04,152
♪ Welcome back ♪
509
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:07,956
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
510
00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:10,292
♪ Welcome back ♪
511
00:24:10,316 --> 00:24:14,996
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
512
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:17,199
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
513
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:19,368
♪ Since you hung around ♪
514
00:24:19,392 --> 00:24:21,669
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
515
00:24:21,693 --> 00:24:23,872
♪ And they've turned around ♪
516
00:24:23,896 --> 00:24:26,074
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
517
00:24:26,098 --> 00:24:27,976
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
518
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,011
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
519
00:24:30,035 --> 00:24:32,147
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
520
00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,149
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
521
00:24:34,173 --> 00:24:36,451
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
522
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,553
♪ Welcome back ♪
523
00:24:38,577 --> 00:24:40,789
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
524
00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,924
♪ Welcome back ♪
525
00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:45,127
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
526
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,229
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
527
00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:49,464
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
528
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,633
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
529
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,835
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
530
00:24:53,859 --> 00:24:58,240
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot
'Cause we got him on the spot ♪
531
00:24:58,264 --> 00:25:00,275
♪ Welcome back ♪
532
00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:02,510
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
533
00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:04,812
♪ Welcome back ♪
534
00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:06,681
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
535
00:25:06,705 --> 00:25:07,905
♪ Welcome back ♪
35373
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