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1
00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:05,081
Honey, coming back
to the old neighborhood
2
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,516
brings back a lot of memories.
3
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,318
I remember when I
was about 9 years old,
4
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,119
this big bully, Tommy
O'Shaughnessy,
5
00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:11,520
would pick on me everyday.
6
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:13,190
Oh, honey.
7
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,925
I told my father and he said,
8
00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,660
"Son, a bully's
nothing but a coward.
9
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,163
"You go up to him tomorrow
and you tell him he's a coward.
10
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,032
I guarantee he'll never
pick on you again."
11
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,700
Good for him.
12
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,502
Next day, I went up to
Tommy, I said, "Look,
13
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,504
"my father explained
to me. You're a coward.
14
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,139
"If you don't bother me anymore,
15
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:33,577
I won't tell anybody
you're a coward."
16
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:36,847
You know what he
did? No, what did he do?
17
00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:39,182
Got on his bike, rode
away, went to my house,
18
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,305
and beat up my father.
19
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:51,528
♪ Welcome back ♪
20
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,198
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
21
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,400
♪ Welcome back ♪
22
00:00:57,424 --> 00:01:02,305
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
23
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,340
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
24
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:06,543
♪ Since you hung around ♪
25
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,812
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
26
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:11,280
♪ And they've turned around ♪
27
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:13,383
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
28
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,351
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
29
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:17,187
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
30
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,088
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
31
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:21,424
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
32
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,493
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
33
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,862
♪ Welcome back ♪
34
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,763
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
35
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:30,166
♪ Welcome back ♪
36
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,435
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
37
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:35,360
♪ Welcome back ♪
38
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,072
Gabe, are you awake?
39
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:50,408
No, I'm asleep.
40
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,930
Come on, it's time
to get up for school.
41
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:04,156
There's a test today. I don't
wanna go to school today.
42
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,174
Honey, you're a teacher now.
43
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:15,512
You don't have to take
tests anymore. You give 'em.
44
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,069
Oh, yeah.
45
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:30,060
You're sore from playing ball
yesterday, aren't you, honey?
46
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:31,427
No, I'm not.
47
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:34,030
Well, then what was
that noise you just made?
48
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,721
What noise?
49
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,471
That noise.
50
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,674
I have never heard you
make that noise before.
51
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,209
I don't believe it.
52
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:49,979
That noise. That's
my father's noise.
53
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:53,182
That's the noise my father makes
when he gets up in the morning.
54
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:56,353
But he didn't start to make
that noise until he was 40.
55
00:02:56,377 --> 00:03:00,223
I'm too young to be
making my father's noise.
56
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,892
Go on and take a hot bath,
honey, you'll feel better.
57
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,594
I always hated that noise.
58
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,896
I couldn't stand it when he
started to make that noise.
59
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:10,266
But he was 40
before... Oh, my God.
60
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:13,858
What's wrong? This
is my father's walk.
61
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,523
Hey, Vinnie, have
you seen my... Shh.
62
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,158
Horshack, the man
is studying for the test.
63
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:39,428
Ready. Hey, Washington.
64
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,497
Whoo. Fall back, baby,
65
00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:44,400
have no fear,
Mr. Wonderful is here.
66
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:46,436
You made the team!
67
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,971
Hey, man, from now on,
it's the easy life for me.
68
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:52,463
I'm gonna be a star. And
stars ain't got to do nothing but...
69
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,946
shoot baskets. All right.
70
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,782
Hey, Freddie, you're gonna
need a manager, right?
71
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,584
Hey, I'm way ahead of you, baby.
72
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,086
All right, all
right. Now, first,
73
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,687
negotiate the
college scholarship.
74
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:06,923
Right. Right. And
then, after college,
75
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,091
we sign a fat contract
with the New York Knicks.
76
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,627
Ah, whoo.
77
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:14,730
You're going to cities,
fringe benefits, commercials.
78
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,299
Hey, you ready for that?
79
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:19,101
Yeah, I'm ready for
that. All right, let's do one.
80
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,526
A commercial.
81
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,597
Okay, Freddie, you're on.
82
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,382
Hi there.
83
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:36,352
I'm just sitting here in my
palatial 5th Avenue mansion.
84
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,121
About to have another
generous helping
85
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:43,392
of my famous Fast Freddie's
French Fried Chicken Fingers.
86
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:46,551
They're finger chicken good.
87
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,568
Stick with me you'll be
up to your fro in dough.
88
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:54,303
Oh, and groupies to
be crawling all over you.
89
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:55,971
Yeah, I never thought
about groupies.
90
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,874
Huh. Maybe I should
try out for the team?
91
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,043
Hey, Epstein, you're
too short. Oh, yeah?
92
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:03,167
I'll lie about my
height, eh, monsieur?
93
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,551
What is this, The
Flying Wallendas?
94
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,675
Hey.
95
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:17,827
Okay, as you know, we
are having an exam today,
96
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:21,598
which explains this green
bucket over here in my right hand.
97
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,933
Epstein and Barbarino,
please roll up your sleeves.
98
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,101
What for?
99
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,069
Hey, come on, it's
against the constitution.
100
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:30,239
What do you think,
this is democracy here?
101
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,075
Hey, good boy, Epstein.
102
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:34,377
Look, there's nothing, nothing.
103
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,845
How about this one? What?
104
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,046
This one? Where?
105
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,981
Under there, roll it up.
106
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,973
What, this? Let's
see it, come on.
107
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,856
First constitutional
congress in Philadelphia.
108
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,359
Declaration of
Independence, 1776.
109
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:52,128
Benjamin Franklin, electricity.
110
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,931
Evelyn, 434-1590.
111
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,988
Ooh.
112
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:06,030
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Leave Evelyn's phone number.
113
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,446
Okay, now the
information is in our heads
114
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,980
and only in our heads.
115
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,182
Arnold, please
distribute the exam.
116
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,952
Oh, sure, Mr. Kotter.
117
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,408
Arnold.
118
00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:20,623
Where you going?
119
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:23,192
I'm going to
distribute the test.
120
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,695
Distribute them in here, Arnold.
121
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:26,719
Oh...
122
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:32,635
Well, Mr. Kotter,
you did not say that.
123
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:37,173
You see, I feel that
the English language
124
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:42,211
is a very precise tool.
125
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,636
And you really ought
to learn how to use it.
126
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,227
Distribute the papers. Okay.
127
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,691
Okay, now, keep them turned over
128
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,093
until I tell you to begin.
129
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,629
Hey, Freddie's got some
great news. Go ahead, tell him.
130
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,498
Oh, yeah, Mr. Kotter.
131
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:05,223
I made the basketball
team, first screening.
132
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:11,206
Congratulations. Where
are you gonna play, forward?
133
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,665
No, star.
134
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,981
You are looking
at Mr. Versatility.
135
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,583
I mean, I got the
moves of Walt Frazier
136
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:24,820
and the finesse of
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
137
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,989
All right.
138
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,947
You also got the
modesty of Muhammad Ali.
139
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:34,196
Let me tell you
something, Mr. Star.
140
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,965
You may not be as
good as you think you are.
141
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,833
So if you are the best,
you ain't gonna play
142
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,924
unless you pass the test.
143
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:51,848
Ali, if you got it, flaunt it.
144
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,705
And if you ain't got
it, you're Horshack.
145
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,276
Hot soup.
146
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:07,763
You know, uh, I was a
pretty fair basketball player
147
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:08,997
when I went to school here.
148
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,700
You?
149
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:14,826
You?
150
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,931
Why is that so hard to
believe? It's your body.
151
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,079
My body? What's
wrong with my body?
152
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,315
I am in perfect
physical condition.
153
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:27,516
I-it's just not a
basketball body.
154
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,319
Now, look, hey,
Freddie, stand up.
155
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,555
Now, this... This is
a basketball body.
156
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:36,025
This is a body for
running and for jumping.
157
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,493
And this...
158
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:41,152
This is a body for
sitting and spreading.
159
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:43,933
Well, it's simple.
160
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:46,491
Basketball, basket case.
161
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,976
Okay, let's quit the stalling.
We got a test to take today.
162
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,977
And I really hope
you've all prepared.
163
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:58,915
Mr. Kotter, I got
a medical note.
164
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,150
Epstein has got another note.
165
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:04,609
Surprise, surprise. Okay,
Epstein, let's see this one.
166
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,893
Epstein, is there something
wrong with your arm?
167
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,296
Yeah, could you
get the note for me?
168
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,386
Certainly.
169
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:23,572
"Dear Mr. Kotter, Juan will not
be able to write today's exam
170
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,631
"because of his bursitis.
171
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:31,202
Signed: Epstein's mother."
172
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:39,389
Epstein, did you
write this note?
173
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:43,059
Oh, no, no, no. Yeah.
174
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,794
I had to write it for my mother
175
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:48,965
'cause her bursitis is
a lot worse than mine.
176
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,255
Sit down.
177
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,772
Okay, anymore notes?
178
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,274
Excuses?
179
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,942
Diseases?
180
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:03,112
Religious conflicts?
181
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,181
Okay, now turn your papers over.
182
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,348
You have 30 minutes.
183
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:07,984
If you get stuck
on one question,
184
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,885
forget about it, go
on to the next one.
185
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:11,509
All right, begin.
186
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,733
Barbarino. What? What?
187
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:27,002
Pull up your trousers.
188
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:29,772
What? Your
trouser leg, roll it up.
189
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,296
What did you have in mind?
190
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:37,268
Roll up your trouser leg.
191
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,783
What is this?
192
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,974
It's a skin condition.
193
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:46,189
Skin condition?
194
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,558
Oh, yes.
195
00:10:48,582 --> 00:10:52,861
Looks to me like
mogo on the go-go.
196
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:56,932
A very serious disease for
which there are no symptoms.
197
00:10:56,956 --> 00:11:00,736
Fortunately, medical science
has come up with a cure.
198
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,872
Lucky I caught it
in its early stages.
199
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:06,564
Mogo on the go-go.
200
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,602
Hey, got a minute left, come on.
201
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,138
Washington, what are you doing?
202
00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:38,073
Why are you drawing
pictures on your paper?
203
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:40,042
Who is this? Hey.
204
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,911
That's Superstill, man.
205
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,779
Faster than a speeding forward,
206
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:47,182
more powerful
than a double lay-up.
207
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,185
You're taking the wrong exam.
208
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,220
Do I look like Miss
Fishbeck, the art teacher?
209
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,611
Only around the mustache.
210
00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:01,597
I need the tests on my desk.
Washington, I wanna see you.
211
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,300
Oh, man.
212
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,969
Mr. Kotter, what are
you harassing him for?
213
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,238
He don't have to
write that exam.
214
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,440
He's on the team,
it means he passes.
215
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:14,309
It's a fact of life. Fish
gotta swim, birds gotta fly.
216
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,678
The varsity athletes gotta pass.
217
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,114
It's a Buchanan tradition.
218
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,416
Well, you know that I just
love to break traditions?
219
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,219
Look, athletes gotta
pass or they don't play.
220
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,021
There was a
quarterback, Moose Nolan,
221
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,690
he had to write an essay on
his favorite fictional character.
222
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,859
Handed in seven blank pages.
223
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:33,195
Maybe his favorite fictional
character was the Invisible Man.
224
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,731
But he passed. 'Cause
he was on the team.
225
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,833
That's the way
it is, Mr. Kotter.
226
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:40,736
That's the way it
was, Mr. Barbarino.
227
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,205
Nobody passes in my
class unless they earned it.
228
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:46,008
Come back after your last
class, you'll take a make-up test.
229
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:48,199
No, no deal. Let's go.
230
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,448
You're not gonna
come back, Freddie?
231
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,283
No, I'm not coming back.
232
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,051
You used to play
basketball, didn't you?
233
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:57,653
That's right.
234
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,144
Boy, have you changed.
235
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,893
I haven't changed.
236
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,595
And I can still play basketball.
237
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,397
Here's Kotter,
dribbling down the court,
238
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,265
see his famous
behind-the-back hook shot.
239
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,934
There it goes.
240
00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:24,346
Uh, Kotter.
241
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,748
You know, we're surprised
that you would give
242
00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:28,517
an unfair test.
243
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:32,154
And a bright boy like
Washington couldn't pass.
244
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,856
What are you
talking about, unfair?
245
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,025
Well, let's look at the test.
246
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,794
Here, number three.
247
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:42,320
When was the Declaration
of Independence signed?
248
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:46,902
That's a trick question.
249
00:13:46,926 --> 00:13:49,772
What are you talking
about? The answer's 1776.
250
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,207
Kotter.
251
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,208
I don't know if you've noticed,
252
00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:57,435
but, uh, I'm not a happy person.
253
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,184
Now, uh, a winning team
might make me happier.
254
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:05,320
Not happy, but happier.
255
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,990
Come on, ace, where's
your school spirit?
256
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,426
We can't win this season
without Washington.
257
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,161
Look, Freddie Washington
is more important to me
258
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,264
than a winning
basketball season.
259
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,233
And I'm not gonna do him any
good by giving him a free ride.
260
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:20,669
You're right, he's a bright
kid, and he could've passed.
261
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,337
The thing is he didn't even try.
262
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,274
Somewhere from someone
263
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,343
he got the idea that
being on the team
264
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,933
is an automatic pass.
265
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:35,139
Well, uh, now, uh...
266
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:39,755
You said yourself, Kotter,
you said he could've passed.
267
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:40,922
That's right.
268
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,691
Why not give him the
benefit of the doubt?
269
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,882
For the team, chicky baby.
270
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,520
For Buchanan. For my job.
271
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,737
I have finished
grading your exams.
272
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:58,663
And as usual, it was
an amazing experience.
273
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,778
How did Washington do?
274
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,913
I'm afraid he didn't pass.
275
00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:07,304
But he did make
the bulletin board.
276
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:13,789
Okay, you did right on, Maurice.
277
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:15,524
Ralph.
278
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,059
Vinnie.
279
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,162
Epstein, you got 65.
280
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,564
You actually got 63,
but I gave you two points
281
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,323
for working under the
influence of bursitis.
282
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:34,609
You passed, Juan. Hey, come
on. Let's hear it for Epstein.
283
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:37,813
Hey, what is this? All quiet
on the homeroom front?
284
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,515
A very pleasant change
285
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:43,552
from the usual mouth-to-mouth
combat we have here.
286
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:45,288
Hey, you know what's buggin' us?
287
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,456
You want conversation,
we'll talk your ear off.
288
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,524
Just pass Freddie.
289
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,659
Yeah. No.
290
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,060
Why not?
291
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,463
First, it wouldn't be
fair to the rest of you.
292
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,365
Why should Freddie
get special treatment?
293
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,733
Because he is special,
294
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,102
he's gonna be the school's
ace basketball player.
295
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,937
No more special
than you, Epstein.
296
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,829
You're the school's
ace menace to society.
297
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:09,111
Look, I don't wanna
talk about this anymore.
298
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:13,082
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I got something to say. Now...
299
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,717
I didn't wanna resort
to this, Mr. Kotter.
300
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:17,953
You leave me no choice.
301
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,311
Let's talk money.
302
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:27,663
Barbarino, are you
offering me a bribe?
303
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,765
No.
304
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,634
I'm offering you a
percentage of my percentage.
305
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,937
Look, my client here is gonna
be a million dollar property.
306
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:39,841
You are offering me
a bribe. No. What...
307
00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:43,012
I'm trying... I'm just
saying it's like incentive.
308
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:45,213
Creative motivation.
309
00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:48,617
It's bribery, Barbarino.
So it's bribery.
310
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,819
Look, what I'm
trying to say is...
311
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,444
you scratch my
back, I scratch yours.
312
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,891
I can't do that. You see,
313
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:59,016
my wife has an exclusive
on my entire body.
314
00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:02,397
She'd be disturbed if
I came home tonight
315
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:05,034
with a pre-scratched back.
316
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,872
Is that your final
answer? Sorry.
317
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:13,163
You're a crummy businessman,
Mr. Kotter, crummy.
318
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:18,676
If you didn't get
your test, pick it up.
319
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,351
Hey, what's your
angle, Mr. Kotter?
320
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,853
I don't have an angle.
321
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:27,289
I think that your education is
more important than basketball.
322
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,191
Look, man. My whole
future is riding on this
323
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,093
and you're blowing
everything for me.
324
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,795
A chance at a scholarship,
the pros, rookie of the year,
325
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,565
I mean, hey, look. I don't
need no education for that, man.
326
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,267
What makes you so sure
you're gonna make the pros?
327
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:41,403
You know, you remind
me a lot of Joe Franklin.
328
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,372
Wow, man, I don't know
no Joe Franklin dude.
329
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,175
You never heard of Joe
Franklin? He was a Sweathog.
330
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,277
Sat right over
here 10 years ago.
331
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,734
Another big basketball player.
332
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:59,688
My name is Joe Franklin, baby.
333
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,924
I got me a college scholarship.
334
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,126
Picks me up a lot
of easy classes.
335
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,684
Hair Combing 101.
336
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,620
Advanced Toenail Clipping.
337
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,468
But he never
graduated from college,
338
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:15,070
and he didn't make
the pros either.
339
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,306
So he wound up with
no basketball career,
340
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:20,509
no education, no nothing.
341
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,893
So, what happened to him?
342
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,838
His father died and left
him a chain of Laundromats.
343
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,809
Today, he's worth
about 6 million dollars.
344
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,593
But he's still stupid.
345
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,229
Look, I don't care
346
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,898
about no Joe Franklin,
do you understand me?
347
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,299
I just know me,
and this is one cat
348
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:46,234
ain't gonna stop
haggling, can you dig it?
349
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:48,570
'Cause... 'Cause I'm
good, you know, I'm good.
350
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:51,606
Face it, Washington,
you're not that good.
351
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,775
There are guys right
here in Buchanan
352
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:54,777
who are better than you.
353
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,044
Yeah, like who? Who?
354
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,380
Who? Who? Who? Me.
355
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,349
You?
356
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,418
You better stay away
from that blackboard.
357
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,420
I think you must've sniffed
too much of that chalk dust.
358
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:08,824
Hey, I'm serious, Freddie,
basketball's my game.
359
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,026
And I'm challenging
you, one on one.
360
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,928
Just you, me and the basketball.
361
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,296
Hey, Mr. Kotter, I mean,
362
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,231
you're out of shape,
man. Dig yourself, man.
363
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:20,424
If you was a building,
you'd be condemned.
364
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:25,440
3:15 today, 20-point game.
365
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:28,910
Okay, Mr. Kamikaze.
366
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:31,280
Why don't you put your
money where your mouth is?
367
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,015
Twenty bucks say I win.
368
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:35,618
Hey, you know I'm not
gonna play you for money.
369
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:39,577
Hey, I tell you
what I'm gonna do.
370
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:44,059
If I win, you take
the make-up test.
371
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:46,450
And if I win, you pass me.
372
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:48,664
I can't do that.
373
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,128
Hey. You can do anything.
You're the teacher.
374
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:55,938
You got a bet.
375
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:56,972
You'll pass me?
376
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,440
If you win.
377
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:01,632
Would you mind
putting that in writing?
378
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,047
What for? My word is good.
379
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:06,548
I know that, but you see,
380
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:09,284
it's your heart
I'm worried about.
381
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:11,453
I mean, who's gonna pass me
382
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,717
if you don't live
through the game?
383
00:20:19,184 --> 00:20:22,398
Okay, take it easy, tiger.
384
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:25,200
Put some wind back and
you'll be all right in a minute.
385
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,972
What's that noise, Kotter?
386
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:32,507
You mean, uh:
387
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:34,910
That's the one.
388
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:38,747
That's my father's noise.
389
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:41,083
Your father's noise?
390
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,373
That's his father's noise.
391
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,923
I think he's delirious.
392
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,959
I hope the school's
insurance covers this.
393
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:54,129
Chicky baby, as the
physical education teacher,
394
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:56,932
can I give you my
professional advice?
395
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,236
You don't look so hot.
396
00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:02,504
What are you trying to
prove out there, Kotter?
397
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,072
Nothing, nothing.
398
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,341
Freddie and I were just having
399
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,676
a little friendly
basketball game
400
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:10,379
to the death.
401
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:11,980
Anyway...
402
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,515
he's on the team,
I'm passing him.
403
00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:14,916
You are. You what?
404
00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:20,055
Hey, coach, Mr. Kotter here?
405
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:23,125
Yes, he's on the
couch lying in state.
406
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:28,296
Hey, you mind if I talk
to him alone for a minute?
407
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,031
Not at all, but
you better hurry.
408
00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:32,589
I don't think he has
much more time.
409
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,429
Hi there.
410
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,833
The least you could do is sweat.
411
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,082
I did.
412
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,917
Hey, I'm ready to
take that make-up test
413
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:50,418
if you still want me to.
414
00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:52,854
Hey, I'm the welsher.
415
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:56,024
You win. You beat
me 20 to 16, you pass.
416
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,426
No, there was no beatin', man.
417
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,561
You scored 16 points
off of me. I mean, you!
418
00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:03,164
I mean, you're almost
twice my age, man.
419
00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:04,700
I mean, you're old
enough to be my...
420
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:06,756
Older cousin.
421
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:11,306
Look, I've been thinking.
422
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:14,709
Maybe I don't have that contract
all sewn up with the Knicks yet.
423
00:22:14,733 --> 00:22:17,012
I just think I better be
covering all my bases.
424
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,036
I think that's a
smart move, Freddie.
425
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,684
You know, man,
you're something else.
426
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:23,785
I mean, you really surprised
me down there today.
427
00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:25,154
Yeah?
428
00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:29,124
Yeah, you still played
pretty good, you still got it.
429
00:22:29,148 --> 00:22:30,981
Yeah, I got it.
430
00:22:32,884 --> 00:22:35,319
But I can't get
it off the couch.
431
00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:39,122
Give me a hand. Sure.
432
00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:46,909
What is that sound, man? My
father makes that sound too.
433
00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:48,243
You mean, uh:
434
00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:54,182
Your father walk like
this in the morning?
435
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:57,173
No, my father walks
like this in the morning.
436
00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:01,389
♪ Welcome back ♪
437
00:23:01,413 --> 00:23:03,413
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
438
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:09,331
How do you like my new hat?
439
00:23:09,355 --> 00:23:12,000
I like it. I like you in hats.
440
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:13,457
Thanks.
441
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,871
Honey.
442
00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:19,241
How come you never wear hats?
443
00:23:19,265 --> 00:23:22,700
When I was young, I always
thought my head was too big.
444
00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:25,613
Too big for what?
445
00:23:25,637 --> 00:23:28,650
For the rest of my body.
446
00:23:28,674 --> 00:23:30,708
All the kids in school
called me Big Head.
447
00:23:31,811 --> 00:23:33,188
That's terrible.
448
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:35,791
One day I came home
crying. I told my mother:
449
00:23:35,815 --> 00:23:38,760
"Everybody in school is calling
me Big Head. What should I do?"
450
00:23:38,784 --> 00:23:41,229
She said, "Don't pay attention
to those mean children."
451
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,465
And to get my mind off it,
she sent me to the store.
452
00:23:43,489 --> 00:23:44,632
Well, that was a good idea.
453
00:23:44,656 --> 00:23:46,902
Yeah, she said get a
watermelon, dozen eggs,
454
00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:48,937
loaf of bread,
container of milk.
455
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:51,073
I said, "What am I
gonna carry that in?"
456
00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:53,097
She said, "Why don't
you use your hat?"
457
00:23:56,335 --> 00:23:59,013
♪ Welcome back ♪
458
00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:01,872
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
459
00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:13,628
♪ Welcome back ♪
460
00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:17,899
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
461
00:24:17,923 --> 00:24:20,302
♪ Welcome back ♪
462
00:24:20,326 --> 00:24:25,106
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
463
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:26,975
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
464
00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:29,444
♪ Since you hung around ♪
465
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,680
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
466
00:24:31,704 --> 00:24:33,749
♪ And they've turned around ♪
467
00:24:33,773 --> 00:24:36,151
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
468
00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:38,286
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
469
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:42,658
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
470
00:24:42,682 --> 00:24:44,192
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
471
00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:46,495
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
472
00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:48,796
♪ Welcome back ♪
473
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,499
Welcome Back, Kotter
was recorded live on tape
474
00:24:51,523 --> 00:24:53,802
before a studio audience.
475
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,170
♪ Welcome back ♪
476
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:57,172
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
477
00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:59,475
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
478
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:01,610
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
479
00:25:01,634 --> 00:25:03,945
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
480
00:25:03,969 --> 00:25:06,081
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
481
00:25:06,105 --> 00:25:08,083
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
482
00:25:08,107 --> 00:25:09,107
♪ Welcome back ♪
33603
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