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1
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Where are we gonna
go on our next vacation?
2
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,953
How about Miami?
3
00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:12,255
Did I ever tell you what
happened to my uncle in Miami?
4
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:13,556
No.
5
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:14,991
He went there. Big convention.
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,460
He had his secretary with
him. And he got to the hotel late.
7
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,063
"Mr. Kotter, you were supposed
to be here this afternoon.
8
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:22,832
"Now we gave your rooms
away. We only have one room left.
9
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,701
"If you want us to, we
can install twin beds
10
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:25,936
for you and your secretary."
11
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,470
What did he say?
12
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,840
What could they do? They
had to take the twin beds.
13
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:32,108
In the middle of the night,
the secretary gets up,
14
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,143
she goes, "Psst.
15
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,745
"Mr. Kotter, Mr. Kotter,
16
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,314
could you get up and shut
the window? I'm a little chilly."
17
00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:39,883
He says, "Well,
if you're chilly,
18
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:42,686
would you like to pretend
that you're Mrs. Kotter tonight?"
19
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,656
She goes, "Oh,
Mr. Kotter, I'd love to."
20
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,714
He said, "Good, get up and
shut the window yourself."
21
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:01,671
♪ Welcome back ♪
22
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:05,342
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
23
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,644
♪ Welcome back ♪
24
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:12,549
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
25
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,817
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
26
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,786
♪ Since you hung around ♪
27
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,055
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
28
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,525
♪ And they've turned around ♪
29
00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:23,627
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
30
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,195
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
31
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,430
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
32
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,532
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
33
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,667
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
34
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,836
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
35
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:36,039
♪ Welcome back ♪
36
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,008
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
37
00:01:38,032 --> 00:01:40,410
♪ Welcome back ♪
38
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,678
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
39
00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:45,604
♪ Welcome back ♪
40
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,190
So, what do you think?
41
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,259
I think it has a sort of a...
42
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,661
A quiet intensity.
What do you think?
43
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:02,499
Oh, yeah? I thought it had
more of a noisy, relaxed quality.
44
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,866
Ah, quite.
45
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:06,325
Hey, Horshack, what
do you think it's sayin'?
46
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:12,408
It's saying, "Hello.
47
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:14,944
"How are ya?
48
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:19,115
I'm a wall filled with paint."
49
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,074
He's coming, he's coming.
50
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,001
Good morning, people.
51
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:40,670
Good morning, Mr. Kotter.
52
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,072
We're all in our places
53
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:45,464
with bright shiny faces.
54
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,436
Excuse me, I was
looking for my class.
55
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:57,253
This is my class.
56
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:58,888
All right, what's the big idea?
57
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,757
It's a present for
you, Mr. Kotter.
58
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,825
Thanks a lot.
59
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:07,030
What do you call this anyway?
Moonlight Over Garbage?
60
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,898
Hey, man. Just be cool, man.
61
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,034
It's only water paint,
it'll come off easy.
62
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,769
Look, you know what it's like?
63
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,637
It's like... It's
like those murals
64
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:17,073
at the U.N. that
tells a story. Well,
65
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,641
this is our story.
66
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:21,211
The greatest story ever told.
67
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,412
The history of the Sweathogs.
68
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,351
Oh, yes, I can see it.
69
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,820
This must be the first
group of Sweathogs.
70
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,490
And there's me on
opening day of school.
71
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:34,891
Wadding up some paper
72
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,993
and getting ready to
throw out the first spitball.
73
00:03:38,017 --> 00:03:40,864
Oh, and there's Vice
Principal Woodman catching it.
74
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,621
In his ear.
75
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,337
Oh, and this must be
me on my first date.
76
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:51,207
With good ol' "Ya-ha" Feldman.
77
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,877
Here we are on the
beach at Coney Island.
78
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,446
And here's me and Ya-ha
spreading our blanket
79
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,114
on the beach at Coney Island.
80
00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,549
Ooh.
81
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,952
And there we, uh...
Well, moving right along.
82
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:07,056
Here I am, I guess, coming
back to my old school.
83
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,359
To teach a brand-new
group of Sweathogs.
84
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:13,562
And here's that group,
painting this mural on the wall.
85
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:16,199
And this is the
part I like best.
86
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:19,101
That same group
going into the closet,
87
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,971
getting mops, sponges,
soap and water,
88
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,363
and cleaning all
this junk off the wall.
89
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:35,251
All right. I can dig it.
90
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,354
I'm the new teacher, everybody
tries to get the new teacher.
91
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,990
You're trying to live
up to your reputation.
92
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,559
I want you to promise
me something.
93
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,060
Clean this off the wall
94
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,862
and tell me you're never
gonna do anything like this again.
95
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:49,532
Hey, hey, man, whatever
you want, all right? You got it.
96
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:53,503
Hey, um, dig, while we're at it,
you want us to do your jacket?
97
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,637
My jacket?
98
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,039
Yeah, see we had a
little paint left over...
99
00:04:57,063 --> 00:05:00,042
So we repainted
the top of the desk.
100
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,712
Oh, boy.
101
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:05,237
Oh, boy.
102
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,226
Hello, Alex.
103
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,527
Wait a minute.
104
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:22,398
Wait a minute,
now, say that again.
105
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,800
Alex, I am not one of
your drama students.
106
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:28,371
"Hello, Alex," come on, say it
again. Just the way you said it.
107
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,406
Hello, Alex.
108
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,942
Lovely. Lovely delivery.
109
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,177
It's simple. It's convincing.
110
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:38,715
Gutsy. Utterly to the point.
111
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,451
"Hello, Alex."
112
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:46,255
I don't know what it
is, guy, but you got it.
113
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,724
If you liked that,
you're gonna love this:
114
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:52,027
Go away, Alex.
115
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:55,098
Cute. You know, I bet
if you did your laundry
116
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:58,534
before you came to school,
you wouldn't be so depressed.
117
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,269
I am not depressed.
118
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,637
But I don't know how much longer
119
00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:03,172
I can hold out with
you in the room.
120
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,541
Whoa, now there
is a snappy retort.
121
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:07,076
"I don't know how much longer
122
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,911
I can hold out with
you in the room"
123
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:11,080
I'll have to borrow that
line for my new play.
124
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,882
What for? It's probably
gonna be no better
125
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,851
than your other two
un-produced plays.
126
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,220
A Streetcar Named Shirley.
127
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:22,225
And then there was your
biggie, Fiddler On My Sister.
128
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,894
Okay, big guy...
129
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,997
I don't think there's any reason
to take it out on old Alex here,
130
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,665
just because your Sweathogs
131
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:32,668
can't express themselves
in a socially acceptable way.
132
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:35,238
Like my debating
class, for example.
133
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:37,640
You know, I really wish you
wouldn't call 'em Sweathogs.
134
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,842
I mean, it's okay if they
call themselves Sweathogs
135
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,210
or if I call them Sweathogs,
136
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,179
but outside of that class,
137
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,616
no enlightened educator
would call a child a Sweathog.
138
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,050
Kotter,
139
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,909
do you know what your
Sweathogs have done now?
140
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:56,815
They have switched the
signs on the restroom doors.
141
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,631
The men's room is
now the ladies' room,
142
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,834
the ladies' room is
now the men's room.
143
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:08,904
I mean, I just walked
in to wash my hands.
144
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,697
Poor Miss Fishbeck
will never be the same.
145
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,780
Mr. Woodman, try
to be understanding,
146
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,515
Gabe can't help
it if his students
147
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,317
are still pre-civilized.
148
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:22,852
All right, look, Welles,
149
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,520
they may be underachievers,
150
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,122
but they're
basically bright kids.
151
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,991
I'd put 'em against your
class any day of the week.
152
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,382
Oh, like in a formal
debate? Heh, heh.
153
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:35,665
Yeah. Why not?
154
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:40,837
Welles, are you wearing
your ascot too tight?
155
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,672
I mean, I can't allow this.
156
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,374
Listen, I will assume
full responsibility
157
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:46,776
for the safety of my charges.
158
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,645
Don't worry, Mr. Woodman.
159
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,581
Wait a minute. Say that again.
160
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,883
What? "Don't worry,
Mr. Woodman."
161
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,952
Just the way you said it.
162
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,021
Don't worry, Mr. Woodman.
163
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:01,691
Beautiful. Terrific.
164
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,526
But you did it
better the first time.
165
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:05,695
Now say it again, "Don't
worry, Mr. Woodman."
166
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,330
Don't worry... No,
no, no, no, no, no.
167
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,731
More gutsy. Right.
168
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:12,869
Right. Think about what you're
saying. Pear-shaped tones.
169
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:18,107
Don't worry, Mr. Woodman.
170
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,610
Now say it right to him.
Get down to his level.
171
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,145
Put your arm out. Okay,
now think about this man.
172
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,849
This man is you in
20 years. Now say it.
173
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:29,708
Don't worry, Mr. Woodman.
174
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:40,363
Okay, man, that's good
enough. He should like that.
175
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,965
Um, sir, as you see,
176
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,901
I told you it'd come right off.
177
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,669
All right, good.
178
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,093
Now that the history of
the Sweathogs is history,
179
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,141
I wonder if you people are aware
180
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,243
that there's other ways
to express yourselves.
181
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,646
Like, uh, with
words, for instance.
182
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,147
Hey, words are
great, Mr. Kotter.
183
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,416
You know, I use
'em all the time.
184
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:04,320
As a matter of fact, I just used
words to tell you I use words.
185
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,990
Very good, Epstein.
186
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,857
And in the interest
of teaching you people
187
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,883
a bit more about words, I have
decided to form a debate team.
188
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,932
♪ Yes, my friends
A debate team ♪
189
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,800
♪ That's a team
That uses words ♪
190
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,636
♪ Words with bite
Words with snap ♪
191
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,970
♪ Words that put us on the map ♪
192
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,072
♪ Not the basketball team
Not the baseball team ♪
193
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,741
♪ Not the football team
But the debate team ♪
194
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,643
♪ We're the capital D
And that rhymes with... ♪
195
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:40,189
D also stands for ding-a-ling.
196
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,725
Just think of a
debate as sort of a,
197
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,593
uh, rumble with words.
198
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:45,595
Do you mean like,
199
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:49,420
"Up your nose with
a garden hose"?
200
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:54,403
Not insults,
Barbarino. Facts. Logic.
201
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,940
With each side arguing
an opposite point of view.
202
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,307
Hey, Kotter.
203
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:04,681
All right, it was
just a thought.
204
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,382
Take out your workbooks.
205
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,986
You're too chicken to mix it up
with Mr. Welles' debating class.
206
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,587
You mean the turkeys?
207
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,089
Us afraid of the turkeys?
208
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,291
You mean those
weirdoes wanna debate us?
209
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:20,051
Hey, man, I'll beat the
words out them birds.
210
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,532
We'll stuff 'em. Fricassee 'em.
211
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:28,104
We... We...
212
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,340
Okay, Horshack,
good. That's the spirit.
213
00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:32,008
Get up here, you
take the affirmative,
214
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,699
- or the yes argument.
- Okay.
215
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:40,382
Yes! I give you a definite yes.
216
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,718
Yes. Yes.
217
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:45,554
Yes. Yes.
218
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,045
Horshack? Yes!
219
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,161
I haven't given you a topic yet.
220
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,230
Ah, who needs a topic?
221
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,198
We'll debate 'em
without a topic.
222
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,034
Yeah, we'll pluck the turkeys.
223
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,502
That's it. That's our topic.
224
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:03,105
Plucking turkeys?
225
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:06,475
No, resolve. Humans
are naturally aggressive.
226
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,611
Aggression. That
sounds like fun.
227
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:11,380
Okay, Horshack, go.
228
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,982
Ahem.
229
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:17,019
Speaking for the
affirmative side,
230
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:21,156
I would like to ask you
all to support aggression.
231
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:25,094
Why do I ask you to
support aggression?
232
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:30,332
I ask you to support aggression
because it is everywhere.
233
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:36,004
Especially there.
And there. And there.
234
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,206
Thank you.
235
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:41,044
All right, that
was fine, Arnold.
236
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:43,712
Epstein, now you get
up and take the rebuttal
237
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:45,569
- or the no argument.
- Sure.
238
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,141
No argument.
239
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,923
Epstein, you have
to prove to Horshack
240
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,858
that people don't
have to be aggressive.
241
00:11:55,882 --> 00:12:00,129
Uh, proof, you want pr...
Okay, I'll give you proof.
242
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:03,299
Hey, Arnold,
243
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:06,424
people don't gotta be
aggressive, do they?
244
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,577
No. No, they don't.
245
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,246
I lied, I lied. I swear, I lied.
246
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,582
People don't gotta
be aggressive.
247
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,283
Hey, Mr. Kotter, I'm really good
248
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,753
at this rebuttin'
stuff, you know.
249
00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:26,255
Okay, do we have a debate team?
- Yeah.
250
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,357
♪ Yes, my friends We
got a debate team ♪
251
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:31,127
♪ Right here at James
Buchanan With a capital B ♪
252
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,496
And that rhymes with D!
And that stands for debate.
253
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:47,276
Ah, good morning, Mr. Woodman.
Ready for the great debate?
254
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,644
I am ready, Kotter,
255
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:51,636
to see you make a complete
and utter fool of yourself.
256
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,578
How's that, Mr. Woodman?
257
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:05,627
That's exactly what
I might expect...
258
00:13:05,651 --> 00:13:08,297
from a man who
expects his Sweathogs
259
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,732
to outdebate the debate class.
260
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:14,269
Well, now, uh, I'll run
down and get the turkeys.
261
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,605
I mean, the debate class.
262
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,109
And mind you,
Kotter... No trouble.
263
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,944
Mr. Woodman, you
won't recognize my kids.
264
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,446
I told them to make
sure they behave
265
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,604
like ladies and gentlemen, and
to dress in a dignified manner.
266
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,744
They're not people, Kotter.
267
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:39,083
Come on, come on, come on.
268
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,666
Is this what you call
a dignified manner?
269
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:47,036
Hey, man. Don't sweat it,
man. This is part of our...
270
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:50,372
intricate plan to psyche
out the opposition.
271
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,508
This is a debate!
272
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,976
You're supposed
to psyche 'em out
273
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,911
with words, not with clothes.
274
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:59,281
Look, you want me to
remove the suspenders?
275
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:01,149
I'll remove the suspenders.
276
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,552
But there ain't much dignity
277
00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:06,188
in a pair of pants
dropping to the floor.
278
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,594
And what about my
top hat, Mr. Kotter?
279
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:15,531
Top hats is real dignified.
280
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,768
Where'd you get it,
Arnold? Murray lent it to me.
281
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,403
Murray? Who's Murray?
282
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:22,760
Who's Murray? Murray the Horse.
283
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,343
Murray the Horse
loaned you his top hat?
284
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,844
Yeah.
285
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,113
And you.
286
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:34,205
You look like you
come with a $95 funeral.
287
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,220
This coat... This coat was worn
288
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:42,224
at the famous
Lincoln-Douglas debate.
289
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:45,861
This coat was worn at the
famous Lincoln-Douglas debate?
290
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,931
I wore this coat when
my father, Lincoln,
291
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:52,090
was beating the daylights
out of my brother, Douglas.
292
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:56,961
Get up, Epstein.
293
00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:02,244
You're supposed to come
here prepared for a debate.
294
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:05,314
Not a pirate attack.
295
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,749
Hey, I'm representing my people.
296
00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:09,751
As a matter of fact, honey,
297
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:12,788
this outfit was worn by
my great-great grandmother
298
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,757
when she fought on San Juan Hill
299
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:17,080
for the Puerto Rican Jews.
300
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:20,862
Hey, not only that,
301
00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:23,265
she was a dead ringer
for Teddy Roosevelt.
302
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,902
Yeah, my great-great
grandfather kept on telling her:
303
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:30,038
"Ruth, trim the sideburns,
shave the moustache."
304
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:35,144
Epstein, close your
mouth, sit on your sword.
305
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,568
Ooh.
306
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,918
All right, and you.
307
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,287
What are you supposed to
be? Our very own cheerleader?
308
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,456
You got it, Mr. Kotter.
309
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,558
Give me an S, give me a W,
310
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,727
give me an E-A-T.
311
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,151
Rosalie, give it
to me later, okay?
312
00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:01,558
The turkeys are comin',
the turkeys are comin'.
313
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:11,079
Good morning, Sweathogs.
And welcome to your Waterloo.
314
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:14,205
Thanks for not taking
sides, Mr. Woodman.
315
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,087
What do you got here, guy,
a costume party? Heh, heh.
316
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:20,410
Tacky, tacky, tacky.
317
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:24,726
Is that what you
think, Mr. Welles?
318
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,463
They're the costumes
from your last play.
319
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:40,342
The subject agreed
upon is resolved.
320
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:44,080
Humans are naturally aggressive.
321
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:47,483
Ah, speaking for the
negative, Mr. Welles' team.
322
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,853
Speaking for the
affirmative, Kotter's bunch.
323
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,189
Give me an S, give me a W,
324
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,356
give me an E-A... Rosalie.
325
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,948
What? Give it to me later.
326
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,304
Will you check your
reference material please?
327
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:12,808
New York Times article, 1972.
328
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:16,478
"Is There a Human
Instinct for Peace?"
329
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:17,780
Check.
330
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:20,015
"Study of the Arctic Eskimos.
331
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,785
They've Never Known a War."
332
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,420
Check.
333
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:27,289
"Anthropological Report
on the Tassidy Tribe:
334
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:30,559
A People Without Aggression."
335
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,328
Check.
336
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:35,063
Your turn, bubby.
337
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:36,465
You call that research?
338
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,400
We're gonna show
you what research is.
339
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,157
What?
340
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,962
The research that you
prepared for this debate.
341
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:55,851
Research material. The
last words of Jack the Ripper:
342
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:59,254
"I never met a person
I didn't wanna kill."
343
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,812
Check.
344
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,500
Attila the Hun's
speech to his troops:
345
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,335
"Trample everyone in sight."
346
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:17,572
Check.
347
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,040
My father to my mother:
348
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:22,233
"Now you hit him,
Margie, my arm is tired."
349
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,186
Oh, we need a timekeeper.
350
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:32,988
Ooh, ooh, me, me.
351
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:37,593
Oh, could I be the
timekeeper? Please?
352
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,517
Can he tell time, Kotter?
353
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:45,434
You've heard of, uh, Big Ben?
354
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,736
That's Small Arnold.
355
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,306
All right, here. Here's this.
356
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:56,011
Now, uh, constructive speeches
will be limited to four minutes.
357
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,847
Uh, rebuttals to two minutes.
358
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,248
Let's begin.
359
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,584
Okay, um, Washington.
360
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,408
You lead the troops.
361
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,456
I never did this before, man.
362
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,958
You don't have
anything prepared?
363
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,359
I never talked in public before.
364
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,027
You never talked
anywhere in public?
365
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,862
Only in church.
366
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,986
Well, do what you
have to do. Get up there.
367
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,433
Brothers and sisters,
368
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,815
we are gathered here today
369
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,450
because I intend to prove
370
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:39,788
that people are born
naturally aggressive.
371
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,324
It's as old as...
372
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:45,327
- a-as mankind itself.
- Oh, yeah!
373
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,063
I... I seen it in
the history book.
374
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,933
And I seen it on the streets!
375
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:53,869
Now the question,
which is a lot easier
376
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,970
and a lot better, is hard.
377
00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:59,475
But the sooner you learn,
I said the sooner you learn,
378
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,609
the easier your life gonna be.
379
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:02,967
Hallelujah!
380
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,653
Mr. Woodman, Mr. Woodman,
381
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:13,956
Washington isn't
following the rules.
382
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,525
He isn't following
the rules. Ah, Judy,
383
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,126
let us just begin our side's
384
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,462
extraordinarily dramatic
rebuttal, shall we?
385
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:22,531
Todd, if you please. Thank you.
386
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,933
But he isn't
following the rules.
387
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:28,592
Judy, heh, give it
to me later, okay?
388
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:34,298
Hi, Todd.
389
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:41,016
Friends and
esteemed adversaries...
390
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,639
Time's up.
391
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:52,260
- Friends and incompetents.
- Ooh.
392
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,229
It can be said, categorically,
393
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:58,155
that aggression is not
intrinsic to human nature.
394
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,769
Save for our opponents,
395
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,837
who have yet to prove
that they're human.
396
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:07,276
Hey, off my case, potato face.
397
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,144
Time out, time out.
398
00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:11,346
Time out, here.
399
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:12,781
What? What? Come here.
400
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,683
Just what do you all
think you're doing, huh?
401
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,151
Look, this is cool,
402
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:17,752
trust us, you'll
see. No, it's not...
403
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,955
I don't mind their
interruptions, Mr. Kotter,
404
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,224
they're just proving
what they are.
405
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:24,660
Oh, yeah? You know
what you are, Todd?
406
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,350
You're white bread.
407
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,199
Um, for example,
408
00:21:30,223 --> 00:21:32,500
if every time you
take a Sweathog
409
00:21:32,524 --> 00:21:35,904
and you punch him in the face,
410
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:38,406
you repeatedly
tell him to shut up.
411
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:41,776
How can we shut up?
You said we weren't human.
412
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,613
Yeah, we're
animals. Just shut up!
413
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,082
Time's up. Next.
Ha, ha. Shut up!
414
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,283
Come on, you're blowing it.
415
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,619
Come on.
416
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:53,711
He ain't blowing
it, man. He blew it.
417
00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:58,626
That's, uh, heh...
418
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:02,464
That's quite an aggressive
boy you've got there, Alex.
419
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:05,000
This debate is called
on account of dumbness.
420
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:08,269
That's right. Kotter, the young
man was obviously provoked.
421
00:22:08,293 --> 00:22:10,806
No, Alex, I think he did
some provoking himself.
422
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,607
And I think we proved our point.
423
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:15,811
Even the finest student
is capable of aggression.
424
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:19,135
But notice, some people
were able to control it.
425
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:25,721
Ah, Mr. Kotter, I just have
one thing to say to you.
426
00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:27,089
Go ahead.
427
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:29,513
In your socks with
a pound of locks.
428
00:22:34,386 --> 00:22:36,965
Our plan worked, man.
429
00:22:36,989 --> 00:22:39,267
It was a terrible
plan, Washington.
430
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:42,805
But it was a plan. And
I'm proud of you for trying.
431
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:44,573
And you look
great in the outfits.
432
00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:48,143
But we got a very
long way to go.
433
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:51,068
Rosalie, give it to me now.
434
00:22:52,638 --> 00:22:54,716
Give me an S, give me a W,
435
00:22:54,740 --> 00:22:56,351
give me an E-A-T.
436
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,152
Give me an H, give me an O,
437
00:22:58,176 --> 00:22:59,787
give me a G-G-G.
438
00:22:59,811 --> 00:23:01,423
Sweathogs.
439
00:23:01,447 --> 00:23:02,546
Whoo!
440
00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:10,499
Did I tell you I saw
Larry Simon yesterday?
441
00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:11,633
No.
442
00:23:11,657 --> 00:23:14,036
He was walking down
the street like this:
443
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,804
What did he have in his hands?
444
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:16,972
That's what I said.
445
00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:18,940
"Hey, Larry, what do
you have in your hands?"
446
00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:21,376
He said, "A toad."
447
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,946
A toad? That's
what I said, "A toad?"
448
00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:27,615
Well, where was he
going with the toad?
449
00:23:27,639 --> 00:23:29,150
That's what I said.
450
00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:31,820
"Hey, Larry, where are
you going with a toad?"
451
00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:34,156
He said he was taking
the toad to the zoo.
452
00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:36,191
Oh, well, that makes sense.
453
00:23:36,215 --> 00:23:37,993
Yeah. Except I saw him today,
454
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:41,129
and he was still walking
down the street like this:
455
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,632
I thought you said he
took the toad to the zoo?
456
00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,701
That's what I said.
457
00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:48,103
I said, "Larry, didn't you
take the toad to the zoo?"
458
00:23:48,127 --> 00:23:51,095
He said, "Yeah, but today
I'm taking him to the movies."
459
00:23:53,199 --> 00:23:56,500
♪ Welcome back... ♪
460
00:24:01,307 --> 00:24:04,153
Welcome Back, Kotter
was recorded live on tape
461
00:24:04,177 --> 00:24:06,621
before a studio audience.
462
00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:09,024
♪ Welcome back ♪
463
00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:13,195
♪ Your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
464
00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:15,363
♪ Welcome back ♪
465
00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:20,101
♪ To that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
466
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,871
♪ Well, the names
Have all changed ♪
467
00:24:22,895 --> 00:24:24,806
♪ Since you hung around ♪
468
00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,875
♪ But those dreams
Have remained ♪
469
00:24:26,899 --> 00:24:29,144
♪ And they've turned around ♪
470
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:31,446
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
471
00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,282
♪ Who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
472
00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:35,651
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
473
00:24:35,675 --> 00:24:38,053
♪ Back here Where we need ya? ♪
474
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:39,587
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
475
00:24:39,611 --> 00:24:41,723
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
476
00:24:41,747 --> 00:24:43,692
♪ Welcome back ♪
477
00:24:43,716 --> 00:24:46,194
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
478
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:48,030
♪ Welcome back ♪
479
00:24:48,054 --> 00:24:50,499
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
480
00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:52,500
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
481
00:24:52,524 --> 00:24:54,869
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
482
00:24:54,893 --> 00:24:56,337
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
483
00:24:56,361 --> 00:24:59,374
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
484
00:24:59,398 --> 00:25:01,343
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
485
00:25:01,367 --> 00:25:03,478
♪ 'Cause we've got
him On the spot ♪
486
00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:05,580
♪ Welcome back ♪
487
00:25:05,604 --> 00:25:07,916
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
488
00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:09,906
♪ Welcome back ♪
34158
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