All language subtitles for The Great Rupert -ZWEI - DVD Engl.

This is it, Rupert. Our big chance.

Maybe next week,
your name will go up in lights.

Rupert, the talk of the town.

You won't let me down, will you, Rupert?

You'll do everything just like I taught you?

Now, how about a dress rehearsal? Here.

The curtain is up. You're on the stage.

Stay right there when I tell you.

Now get ready for our song and dance.

Are you all set?

One, two...

Now we've got to do the dance in unison.

And it's got to be perfect,
for everything depends on how we do it.

You all set? Here we go.

- Phil, I'm so glad to see you.
- Joe, how have you been?

Not too good,
but everything's gonna change now.

Sit down. How are you, miss?

This is Joe Mahoney.
He used to work out of my father's office.

And the best lion-tamer in the business.
Weren't you?

- Go on with you.
- Delighted, I'm sure.

Thank you.

What's this new act that you wired me about?

Here it is. Now greet the man, Rupert.

You mean, that's it?

That's it.

- A squirrel?
- Sure.

- You wouldn't fool me, would you?
- He's a great performer.

Something like Rupert
only happens once in a million years.

I'm sorry, Joe, but I'm not interested.

- He's not box office.
- Come on, honey, we're late.

- Phil, you haven't seen what he can do.
- I've seen enough already.

Joe, look...

a lion is a big, savage beast.

He's vicious, ruthless.

A bloodthirsty killer
from the faraway jungles of darkest Africa.

So he's box office.

But a little pipsqueak thing like a squirrel...

that anybody can see anyplace,
in any park, anytime...

Besides, he's so small,
they'd never see him in the balcony.

But I tell you, Rupert's almost human.

- Come on, honey, we're late.
- Just a minute.

Look, Joe...

I'd love to give you a break.
I know things have been tough.

- But he just ain't...
- Box office.

Goodbye, Mr. Dingle.
I'll pay you every cent that I owe you.

You should, Mahoney.

Pete. Get a broom and pail,
and help me clean this place out.

It's nice and peaceful here, ain't it?
You can breathe.

Take a good look around
at some of your new pals.

I want you to go on
and get acquainted with them. Come on.

That's it.

Don't be stubborn about this. Go on.

To be sure, it's a silly outfit.

There you are.
They would have laughed at you.

Now, go on. Yes, I know you don't want to.

L know you'll be happy here.

I know they'll love you.
You'll be the life of the party...

doing the somersaults
and all the cute little tricks that I taught you.

Go on, I tell you.

Beat it, I tell you.

Beat it, I tell you.

What shall I do?

You just ain't box office.

Papa, do you think we might have
some money in that Chicago account?

I heard from that bank last week.
I think I got the letter with me.

Here it is.

It says, "Dear Mr. Amendola, this is
the last monthly statement we will mail you.

"We feel it is hardly worth three cents
to tell you you have two cents."

Let's get going.

Look at all those lucky people,
hurrying home with arms full of packages.

They'll have turkey for Christmas,
packages under the tree.

Don't envy them, Rosalinda.

I bet every one of them faced a Christmas
like us at some time or another.

Besides, it ain't Christmas yet.
Saint Nick may have a bundle for us, too.

But the trouble is, we ain't got no address
he can deliver them to.

Amendola! The Amendola Trio!

- Joe Mahoney!
- Joe, darling!

Now, don't tell me this is little Rosie.

She's certainly growing fast. A little too fast.

It seems like only yesterday
I bought her them shoes...

and already she's complaining
they're too small.

And with you? How's the act been going?

Us? Great. Sensational.

If I made any more money,
I'd have to buy myself a wallet.

And you know something?

We've played the circuit so many times,
just for a change...

we booked a European tour.

- Europe?
- London, Paris, Budapest.

And in India, we gave a performance
the audience will never forget.

- Why?
- Because they were elephants.

Please, a little respect for that joke.
It's older than you.

Sorry, Joe.

I see you haven't been doing so good.

- To tell you the truth, it has been a little...
- You don't have to tell me.

It's the same with us. We haven't worked
since Rosie cut her second teeth.

- Joe, do you live around here?
- I do. I did.

L just moved out less than a half-hour ago.

- Ls the place rented yet?
- I don't think so.

- How much rent did you pay?
- I didn't.

But if you've got $32, you can move right in.

How long did you live there
without paying any rent?

Six months.

Just what we're looking for.
Something out of the high-rent district.

- It's been good seeing you.
- You must drop in and see us soon.

Yes, thank you.

Wait for me!

- Hadn't you better ask him where it is?
- We ain't got no time.

Joe!

- Where is it?
- 322-and-a-half Maple Street. Over there.

Come on back. It's this way.

Wait for me!

Merry Christmas.

Come here. Here, boy.

Hello.

Pardon this unseemly protrusion...

but after reading this sign,
I took the liberty of removing it.

- I don't think you'll need it anymore.
- You wanna rent this place?

We might work something out,
if you don't drag lawyers into this.

You'd better speak to my father
about it. He's right next door.

On second thought, I can handle this myself.

Come in.

Be back in a minute.

Gosh, it's good to be home.

- My name is Amendola.
- My name is Pete Dingle.

Rosalinda.

Joe Mahoney sent us.

That's okay with me,
but don't mention it to my father.

The rent will be $32 a month.

I don't mind electric bulbs that are unfrosted.

I don't mind beds with springs
that fight back...

or window shades that curl up
like anchovies.

But there's one thing I can't stand.
Leaky faucets.

- Do you mind?
- Not at all.

Perfect.

Mama, you might as well start unpacking.

This ain't exactly the bridal suite
at the Waldorf.

But who knows?
If we give this place a good cleaning...

- we might find an extra room.
- "Good cleaning" is right.

Look at all those cobwebs.

Don't touch those cobwebs. They're
probably holding the building together.

Now that all the business
has been taken care of...

But you see, my father, unfortunately,
wants his money in advance.

And a lucky man he is, too, your father,
having a son so gifted in the art of music.

I just fool around...

I know. I, too, am a musician.

Modesty compels me to admit
that I play a pretty piano...

and if necessary,
I can even play an ugly one.

Don't forget. Feel free to drop in at any time.

Thanks very much.

About the rent...

- I think I'm gonna like it here.
- I hope so.

Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to change.

No, not at all. I mean...

I'll see you later.

- Well, Mama, I did it.
- Look, Pa, he forgot his tuba.

He'll be back. But if he don't, you can
blow on it every night and announce dinner.

You realize what I've done?

No rent in advance,
and a roof over our heads.

There's an awful big hole in the skylight.

So what? If it snows, we'll be the only ones
in town to have a white Christmas...

inside the house and out.

- Hello, Pete.
- Hi.

I think I got a letter for you.

- No, it's for your old man.
- I'll give it to him.

If I don't see you tomorrow, merry Christmas.

Same to you.

- Did you clean the place?
- Clean it? I rented it.

Good, you can work
if you make up your mind.

- Who'd you rent it to?
- Their name is Amendola.

Their?

- How many are there?
- Just three.

They're awfully nice people.

That's good for a change. I'll take the money.

There's a mother and a father...

- and a daughter.
- Okay, give me the $32.

They didn't even ask for any redecorations
or repairing anything.

That saves us a lot of money, Pa.

Don't tell me you let them stay
without paying.

You're gonna get it.
They're awfully nice people.

A mother, and a father and a daughter.

You said that before.
Look, son, I want that $32 right now.

If you don't get it, I'll go and get it myself.

And if I don't get it, out they go!

But I gave my word of honor
we'd wait a couple of days.

You don't wanna
break your own son's word, do you?

honor, charity,
love thy neighbor. Everything but money.

Tell me, son, what did money ever do to you
that you hate it so much?

I'll get it.

Oh, hello.

Hello. You forgot to give me the key.

The key? Yes, the key.

- Here it is.
- Thank you.

Wait a minute.

- You'll stay, won't you?
- If my father...

Who is it, Pete?

Don't go away. I'll be right back.

- Who was it?
- The postman. It's for you.

National Security Bank.
What do those chiselers want?

What is it?

Just an advertisement.

Katie, come here.

What is it?

That worthless gold mine
I invested in 10 years ago is paying off.

Here's a check for $1,500.

And they say we're gonna get
the same amount each week from now on.

Mercy! It's the day before Christmas, too.
It's money from heaven.

- We should go to church and pray.
- Sure.

But first I'll go down to the bank
and cash the check.

I know that apartment
isn't what you folks have been used to.

- But with a little paint and fixing it up...
- You mean, you'll redecorate it?

I'll speak to my father about it.

Mother's been having a little trouble
with the stove. It's awfully old.

We'll see what we can do about that, too.

- Maybe get you another one.
- A new stove!

- Is there somebody asleep in there?
- My father.

My father's a little reluctant
about investing money.

He has to be handled with kid gloves.

- Say, how about going for a walk?
- Not in these shoes, I wouldn't.

- They pinch my feet.
- Go get some others. I'll wait for you.

It'll be a long wait. I haven't any others.

What size do you wear?

Dreaming of a size 4. Why?

Stay right where you are.

Not a word of this to a soul, Katie.

Not anybody,
especially that lazy son of yours.

If he finds out, he'll blow
that blasted tuba the rest of his life.

- Mom, what size shoe do you wear?
- 6, why?

Never mind.

Don't you buy shoes for me for Christmas.
I've got two pairs already.

Isn't that nice? Not a nickel in his pocket,
and he wants to buy me shoes.

Just for that, Frank,
I want you to buy a nice necktie for him...

and put it under the Christmas tree.
He likes those hand-painted ones.

I saw some perfectly lovely ones for only $5.

$5, eh?

I'll get some paint out of the attic
and paint one myself.

They called us the Amendola Trio,
the Human Pyramid.

Papa balanced Mama on his shoulders...

and then I stood on top of Mama,
all done up like a little angel.

Sounds exciting.

Papa juggled, Mama sang,
and I played the harp.

Used to go over big.

Only I started growing, Mama got heavier...

and one day, Papa's legs gave out.

You mean he dropped you?

Four times in one week.
The fourth time, Mama broke her leg.

You gotta hand it to Papa, though.

He never broke a plate. He's a great juggler.

Look, there's my father,
coming out of the bank.

- Wonder what he was doing in the bank.
- I've never been in a bank.

Just to think of all that money in one place.

A week ago, this tree was $7.
Yesterday, $4. Now, what are my bids?

- 40 cents.
- Make it $1.

One dollar.

I wish we were gonna have a tree.

Of course, with the moving and all...

We've talked enough about me.
Tell me, where do you work?

I don't. That is, I write music.

- Does it pay?
- No.

Then you don't work.

- I don't have a job.
- Can't you find one?

- I've never looked for one.
- What about money?

I don't need money.

Suppose you were walking with a girl,
and she wanted a malted milk.

What would you do?

Well, that would be pretty embarrassing.

I'm sorry I said that, Pete.

Come on, let's go home.

Folks, just two more left.
What am I bid for this one?

- 40 cents.
- $1.50.

$1.50. Do I hear $2?

$1.50, once, twice.
Sold to this gentleman for $1.50!

Now for the last tree. It's your last chance.
What're my bids for this one?

- 40 cents.
- 75 cents.

Do I hear $1? Will someone make it $1?

- 75 cents, once, twice...
- $1.

$1, I've got. Once, twice,
sold to this gentleman for $1.

Here you are, buddy.

Say, mister, would it be all right
if I pay you 40 cents now...

and the balance later?

Sure! Just take the elevator to the 18th floor.
That's our credit department.

This is a cash sale, buddy.
Do you want the tree or don't you?

Hey, wait!

Look, you can have the tree.
Give me the 40 cents.

Thanks!

I'll pay you the rest as soon as I can.

I'll give you a week.
If you don't pay by then...

I'll find out where you live
and take the tree back.

...11, 12...

13, 14, 15.

- Why didn't you leave it at the bank?
- At the bank?

Katie, you're not serious.

After all that happened
to our little savings in 1929?

No, sirree, they're never gonna
get any of my money again.

I'm going to hide it right in this house.

You better run over to the church
and say that little prayer now.

You're sending me away...

because you want to keep the hiding place
a secret from me.

No, it isn't you, Katie. It's Pete.

You're too soft-hearted with that boy.

- I'm afraid that...
- What's the use of money if you hide it?

Money's for buying things...

to enjoy life, to have some pleasure.

That's a lot of hooey. Money's for security...

not to worry about the future, to enjoy sleep.

All right, Frank, I'm going.

I don't care if you stick
that money up the chimney...

and let it smoke till it smells like a ham butt.

How long is it going to be?

Moving from one place to another.

Always moving...

never having a place to call our home.

Believe me, Lord, we've tried so hard.

We've tried everything. Everything.

But it's so difficult to find a job
for a human pyramid.

You're our only hope.

So it's up to you.

Please.

Tomorrow is Christmas.

We haven't even got a tree.

No money to buy some little gifts.

Not even a pair of shoes for Rosalinda.

She must have those shoes, Lord.

She needs them real bad.

Thank you!

Tell me, Rosalinda...

- do you still play the harp?
- Sure, why?

I think I'll compose something
just for the harp and tuba.

And I'm gonna call it
The Melody Of Two Orphaned Instruments.

That's a cute title.

- You think they'll go together?
- I don't know.

But I'm hoping.

Papa! Wait!

But I don't understand.

A tree! Presents!

And look at it, Papa, a turkey!

And cranberry sauce, plum pudding,
candy, and nuts.

And, look, brand-new shoes.

But how? I don't understand.

You couldn't have won it on a quiz program.

- We haven't got any phone.
- No, Papa, I didn't win anything.

Mama! Your wedding ring!
You didn't hock your...

- No, I didn't hock anything. All I did...
- I know.

You wired that drummer in Boston
who had a crush on you.

That sheik with the patent leather shoes
and tuxedo.

I remember what he said
when we announced our engagement.

"If ever you needed anything- ♪

Papa, that was 22 years ago.

I don't care if it was 100 years ago!

I never trusted a guy with a tuxedo...

especially a rented one.

Let Mama explain, Papa.

No, the money didn't come from him.

It came from...

Here, Papa, you'd better sit down.

- Better loosen your collar, Papa.
- Rosalinda, bring Papa a glass of water.

Papa, you love me, don't you?

- Of course I love you.
- And you trust me?

You'd believe me if I told you something,
wouldn't you?

Even if nobody else in the world
would believe me...

you would believe me, wouldn't you, Papa?

Sure, I would, Mama.

I was sitting right here in this chair...

and I was praying.

This money...

$1,500..

Come floating right down
through the hole in the skylight.

$1.500?

- From heaven?
- You do believe me, don't you, Papa?

If you said it, I gotta believe you.

Merry Christmas, Papa.

Merry Christmas, Papa.

You see, Rosie?
I told you old Saint Nick wouldn't forget us.

All we needed was an address.

Frank, this perfume is lovely. "Dangerous."

Such a big bottle.
It must have cost at least $10.

It's not that dangerous.

This is a terrific tie, Dad.
Thanks again.

Did you see the watermelons, Mama?
They're hand-painted.

Now, who's that?

Merry Christmas, young man.
May we come in?

Why, of course.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you.

Why, Mr. Amendola,
we have the exact same ties on.

It could be a lot worse
if we were girls wearing the same dresses.

Mom, Dad, this is Mr. and Mrs. Amendola...

- and their daughter, Rosalinda.
- How do you do?

We're your new tenants,
and the Yuletide season being upon us...

we thought we'd drop in and pay you a visit.

- To pay what?
- A visit, Frank.

Make yourselves comfortable.

- Do sit down.
- Thanks.

- I'm glad you brought your harp.
- Can we put it right over here?

That's a nice tree you got there, Mr. Dingle.

Where did you get it? Molineri's?

Maybe we ought to go down there
next week and make our payments together.

Payments? Speaking of payments...

just what do you do for a living?

Doesn't the name of Amendola
suggest nothing to you?

You surely must have seen us
perform someplace.

Florida in the racing season,
Lake Placid in the winter season...

or perhaps Africa in the malaria season.

Yes, sir, someday you'll be able to say
the Amendolas were your tenants.

If I don't get my rent money,
I'll be able to say that tomorrow.

I'm glad you brought that up, Mr. Dingle.

Now, if you'll just
hang your sock on the mantle...

I'll drop in three months' rent.

Keep the $4 change.

Three months' rent in advance.

Mr. Amendola,
we're so glad you folks dropped in on us.

Katie, get Mr. Amendola a chair...

and some coffee and cake.

Where's the Christmas spirit?

That's right, where is the Christmas spirit?

I love the excitement of Christmas.

I'll never forget one Christmas Eve
when I was a kid.

I hung my stocking up on the mantle
and went to bed.

When I woke up the next morning,
what do you think I found in the stocking?

My father's foot!

Soft.

Soft.

Wait a minute!

Another outburst like that, Mr. Dingle...

and I'll hide your electric trains.

Soft.

Soft!

How do you like that?
There's a guy going in business for himself.

Wait a minute. All together!

This is wonderful.

Mr. Dingle, this is gonna develop
into a long and beautiful friendship...

even closer than Damon and Phythenias.

You'll notice Rosalinda
brought her harp along.

She didn't bring it to slice hard-boiled eggs.

All right, Rosalinda.

- Here you are, Rosalinda.
- Thank you.

I finished The Melody
for Two Orphaned Instruments.

- Wanna try it?
- Sure. Set the music right over here, Pete.

- Here you are.
- Thanks.

- Ready?
- Yes.

I don't want my wife to hear this.

The stage has always fascinated me.

Don't you think
I've got a very fine singing voice?

Why, the bathtubs of the world
are full of singers, Mr. Dingle.

But did you ever hear of anyone
doing a backflip in the bathtub? No.

And you know the reason why?

Because only a few of us are acrobats.

Acrobats. I'd just love to learn a few tricks.

I'm always so dull when company comes.
I can't do a thing.

Can you teach me a few things?

I'd be glad to teach you.

You got anything around here
that we could rig up like a teeterboard?

- A seesaw?
- Yeah.

I think so. Let me see, now.

- How about a table leaf?
- You got one? Go get it.

Great, now get me a glass of water.

Thanks.

This is so simple, I taught it to Rosalinda
when she was only 3 years old.

Now you get up on that chair.

I'll stand down at this end,
place the glass of water on my head...

and when I say go,
you jump down on that end.

I will then do a back somersault,
light a cigarette in midair...

and land in that chair
without spilling one drop of water.

- Ready?
- Ready.

Go.

Termites.

That's so pretty, Pete.
And he wrote it himself.

How well he plays the tuba!

- It's lovely, Pete.
- So are you.

Gosh, Rosalinda, your hair, your dress...

- Gosh, you're beautiful.
- Thank you, Pete.

- May I have this, Pete?
- Sure.

I wrote it for you.

Look, somebody's coming to see us,
in a beautiful car.

Rosalinda, go down and see who it is.
It might be somebody important.

- Yes?
- Hello. Ls Joe Mahoney home?

- He's moved away.
- He has?

- You know where he went?
- I'm afraid I don't.

That's great. What do I do
with this Christmas present I brought him?

Here, it's yours.

- Go ahead.
- I really don't...

It's just fruit and things.

- You live here?
- Yes.

- Alone?
- With my parents.

That's nice.

- Anything I can do for you?
- My name is Phil Davis.

- I'm a friend of Joe Mahoney's...
- Phil Davis, the agent?

- Yes, that's me.
- Believe me, this is a pleasure.

My name is Amendola. You've heard
of the Amendola Trio, haven't you?

You know, the Human Pyramid? Come in.

Now, don't pay any attention
to this apartment, Mr. Davis.

We just moved in yesterday.
Not much of a place...

but for certain reasons it fascinates me.

Mr. Davis, take a look at this poster.

You're gazing at one of the greatest
vaudeville acts of its time.

And the only reason we disbanded...

was because of my little daughter's
rapid maturity.

- Yes, I can see what you mean.
- Mr. Davis, I was just thinking...

I can work alone. Why, I can out-juggle
anyone in the business.

You know something?
I can juggle 25 plates with one hand.

And with the other hand,
I pick up the broken ones.

Just a little joke I use in the act.

Now if you give me
your undivided attention...

Say, that's good. That's great.
How did you do it?

How did you do it?

What? That's a trade secret.

- Do it again.
- Yes, do it again, Papa.

Rosalinda, you know
the great Amendola never repeats twice.

That's very clever.
I'll try and book you, Mr. Amendola.

Sure.

- How about you?
- About me?

I'm sorry to butt in, but the coffee's ready.

A girl with your looks and figure
should be in the limelight.

And I'm just the man that can put you there.

Said he as he twirled his black mustache
and eyed the proud beauty.

- Who's he?
- Please.

You were saying, Mr. Davis?

A girl like you
should have a decent place to live.

Not a dump like this.

What's good enough for my parents...

Is hardly good enough
for a raving beauty like you.

- And Mr. Davis here is just...
- Please.

The coffee's ready.
It's getting cold, and so is the cake.

I'm sorry, but Mr. Davis
is a very important Broadway agent.

- Broadway chiseler.
- I beg your pardon. What was that?

I know the type.

Promises young girls expensive clothes,
diamonds, furs.

- Anything to make an impression.
- He didn't say that. You did.

He was going to.

What right has he got to call me a chiseler?
He doesn't even know me.

I think he's jealous.

Maybe he's got a case.

Say, it's Christmas, and I'm all alone.

How about me taking you out
to a Chinese dinner tonight?

I'm sorry, but I was...

I'd love to.

Father, may I go out with Mr. Davis?

- You better ask your mother.
- Thanks a lot.

I threw five nuts up,
and only four came down.

This defies the laws of gravity.

It's midnight. She isn't home yet.

Mama, stop worrying.
Nothing can happen to her.

She's not alone. She's with a man.

Another miracle happened this afternoon.

- A miracle?
- I tried to juggle a few walnuts.

- One didn't come down. It just disappeared.
- Mercy me.

This is a strange house.
Money comes down and walnuts go up.

But I guess that's better than
money going up and walnuts coming down.

I don't know what to make of it.

Katie, Katie!

What is it, Frank?

I've been thinking about
that Amendola family.

Why should people who can afford
three months' rent in advance...

wanna live in a dump like that?

Frank, last night you couldn't sleep
because they didn't pay their rent.

Tonight you can't sleep because they did.

For goodness' sake,
stop worrying and go to sleep.

Why don't you check out of this town?
Come to New York.

- Things can happen to you there, Rosie.
- Let's not start that again, Phil.

I'm crazy about you, Rosie.
I'll do anything for you.

Do you know any music publishers, Phil?

Sure, dozens of them. Why?

I wrote some music. I think it's beautiful.
If you could take it...

I didn't know you were a composer.

"Melody for Two Orphaned Instruments
by Peter Dingle."

Who's Peter Dingle?

You see, I put a man's name on it...

because I knew no one would even look at it
if they knew a girl wrote it.

I'll see what I can do. If it's any good,
I'll try and get it published.

- Thanks a lot, Phil. Good night.
- Wait a minute.

See you tomorrow.

- I'm sorry to wake you up, Mr. Haggerty.
- What's the matter, Pete? Somebody sick?

Yeah, me. I want that job.

Do you want to start right now,
or can you wait till tomorrow morning?

I'm sorry, I was afraid
somebody else might get it.

You see, Mr. Haggerty, I need money.

Hey, Pete.

Yeah?

Bend closer, laddie boy.
This is for your ears alone.

I got a sure thing in the sixth
at California today.

Cut me in on 40 percent,
and I'll give it to you.

This one can't lose. It'll win in a walk.

And while our horse is walking,
the others will be running.

If you have another hot tip, Mulligan,
leave it under the plate.

- Yes, sir?
- What's your best cigar?

- Good ones are a quarter apiece.
- Quarter apiece?

How much does a whole one cost?

- It's just a little joke.
- As little as I've heard.

Pete.

- Hello.
- Hi.

What will it be?

- I didn't know you worked here, Pete.
- That's strange. It was in the papers.

But remember, once you told me
you were opposed to work.

Sure.

I even remember I couldn't buy a certain girl
a cool drink in a drugstore.

Now, not only can I buy it, but serve it, too.
What will it be?

You took this job on account of me.

The girl I'm referring to
only wanted a malted milk.

Can we go now?

- It's you. Let's go, honey.
- I'd like a malted milk, Phil.

- Not in this dump, please.
- Goodbye.

So long.

Pete, you're missing a great bid.
That filly's sure to wind up in the money.

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

How's that for a bargain? Only $49.50.

But, Papa, what do we want
with a polar bear rug?

This isn't an ordinary polar bear. Just watch.

All you got to do is twist the tooth and...

Music! It's also a radio.

The other tooth is for shortwave.

- But we don't need it.
- Sure we do.

It lends an air of quality to the place.

Mama, what's a real home
without a polar bear?

But we must stop buying things.

That $500 you have left has got to last.

I'm glad you brought that up.

You know that Mr. Byfield, who we
bought these few pieces of furniture off?

I stopped by there today to look at
that little piano we were talking about.

And you know something?

- He isn't doing so well.
- Papa, I hope you didn't...

It's not his fault that business is bad.

Naturally, with the banks
leaning on the place...

- and no one to...
- Our last $500.

Papa, all our lives, you've been doing this.

Whenever we get a little ahead,
you meet someone who's in trouble...

and you just melt
like chocolate in a baby's hand.

I couldn't help it. He needed it.

But, Mama, we got nothing to worry about.
We still got that $100 I gave you yesterday.

No, I mailed that money away
for the unpaid bills we left in Chicago.

That puts us right back
where we were a week ago.

That's right. All you gotta do
is do what you did a week ago.

Pray.

Lam praying every hour of the day.

But if it's more money
you want me to pray for...

Why not, Mother? It's worth a try.

L just wouldn't have the nerve to ask again.

Besides, it's selfish.

But Papa just told us
he helped somebody with it.

That wasn't selfish.

And besides, all you gotta do is ask,
and let heaven make up its own mind.

- Even if I could remember the prayer...
- You must remember, Mother.

- The same thing you said before.
- I don't know.

All I recall saying
is that Rosalinda needs shoes.

But now she doesn't need shoes.
She has four pairs already.

But, Mama, when you say
she needs shoes...

that doesn't mean she really needs them.

It's like stagehands in the theater
playing dice. A guy says:

"Baby needs a new pair of shoes."

That doesn't mean she needs them.
It's just a disfigurement of speech.

- All right, bring me the little old rocker.
- I'll get it.

I was sitting in it when it happened.

Say it, Mama.

Please, help us. Rosalinda needs shoes.
She needs them real bad.

It's no use, Mama.
The prayer won't be answered.

Maybe it has been answered,
and the answer is no.

We're grateful, anyhow.

I guess I'd better take this rug
back to the shop.

Please forgive me for telling a lie.

Rosalinda doesn't need shoes.

Come back! It's coming down!

It happened exactly a week ago
at about the same time.

- Exactly $1,500 again.
- Bless me!

All you gotta do is sit in that old rocker
every Thursday at 3:30 and say:

"Rosalinda needs shoes," and collect $1,500.

It's funny how simple life can be.

It's coming down.

- Hello, Petrushka.
- Here's your pies and cake, Mr. Amendola.

- Thanks.
- And here's a check.

Your share of our profits for this month.

You cast your dough upon the waters,
it circulates...

and it comes back strawberry shortcake.

- Thanks, partner.
- Thank you, Mr. Amendola.

- Who was it, Papa?
- Petrushka, our baker.

Oh, mama.

Look.

This is our share of the month's profit.

How much did we decide to contribute
to buy shoes for European children?

$600.Why?

Deposit this,
and we can make it $1,000.

That's fine.

It's all over town. This Amendola character
gave $1,025 for kids' shoes.

He lives in a stable and sleeps on straw.

He doesn't work. It don't add up.
Where does he get the money?

He gave $2,500 for European children.

- What line of business is he in?
- Nobody knows.

Read all about it!
Local man gives thousands to charity!

Read all about it!

When they moved in,
they didn't have a nickel to their name.

Two months later, he buys
a shipload of shoes for foreign kids.

Now, how do you figure that?

I'd like a Super-Duper
Triple-Decker Banana Delight.

Coming UP-

You know what I think?

He's printing his own money, right there
in that shack of yours, Mr. Dingle.

I hate gossip.
But I just heard from a friend of mine...

whose wife told him,
and she swears it's true...

that Amendola is a big gangster in hiding.

And if I was you, Mr. Dingle,
I'd notify the police right away.

Notify the FBI. I saw it in a movie.

Someone should write them
an anonymous letter.

Sure, write anonymous letters.
Report him to the police. Put him in jail.

The guy has to be punished
because he has a big heart.

Pipe down, Pete. I told you
never to argue with the customers.

Sorry.

I think it's all a lot of hooey.
You know what I heard?

A man comes to see the pretty
Amendola girl every day in a big car.

- We can't hear you.
- Louder.

A man comes to see their daughter
every day in a big car.

True. He's a Broadway agent.
What about him?

- Like a little strawberry?
- Sure.

He's the individual that floods Amendola
with money, on account of that girl.

- Some whipped cream?
- Love that.

That's what I say about actors.

People like the Amendolas
can contaminate a whole community.

Just like one rotten apple in a barrel.

Pete!

Oh, my goodness!

I forgot the cherry.

- What will it be?
- Bourbon and water.

- Hi, Pete.
- Hi.

Say, I had dinner
at the drugstore...

and I heard you pushed a chocolate sundae
into a perfectly good customer's kisser.

- Is it true?
- No, it was a Banana Delight.

You're hurt, Pete.
Who hurt you, boy?

Nobody. I just counted my money...

and I discovered
I was 16 cents short of my first million.

That makes me sad.

Listen, Pete,
if you're open to a proposition...

I know how to make some real dough.

Get this. A friend of mine...

Look, Eddie, why don't you
make like a ballerina and dance away?

Here, stick this in the jukebox
and play something loud.

This friend of mine
is drilling for oil in California.

He's down 9,000 feet. Got 500 more to go.

So now it's oil stocks.
Don't you ever give up, Mulligan?

But, Pete, for only $2,000,
you can grab yourself 20 percent interest...

and become a millionaire in no time.

Are you out of your mind?
Where would I get $2,000?

How about asking your old man?

Don't be ridiculous.
My father gets a small pension.

- He's happy if he can make ends meet.
- That's what you think, Junior.

My brother-in-law, who happens to be
a policeman at the bank...

says that old man of yours has been
cashing pretty large checks for weeks now.

Wait a minute.
I did see him coming out of the bank once.

- He gets a letter from them every week.
- You see?

All you have to do
is ask him to back you.

What father could refuse such a proposition?

Tell me, Mulligan, is this really on the level?

Tell you what I'll do.

I'll introduce you to my friend.
He'll show you the papers.

And besides,
he'll give you all the security you want.

I'll see you tomorrow.

There must be a screw loose in your head.
Who's got $2,000? What $2,000?

I know you have it. You've been seen
in the bank cashing large checks.

That's a lie. Now get out.
I don't want to hear any more.

I'll pay you back. I'll repay you 10 times over.

But I haven't got it, I tell you!

Pa, you must give it to me. You simply must.

Get out, you crazy fool. Get out before
I break that blasted tuba over your head.

Get out!

- Goodbye.
- I'll walk you there.

No, that's all right.

- Sure you can get in all right?
- Sure.

Good night.

Oh, Pete.

Hello, Rosalinda.

It's a beautiful night, isn't it?

- Mind if I join you?
- No.

Not at all.

I wanna talk to you.

What is it, Pete?

That is, I have no right to say this, but...

Say it anyhow, Pete.
It might be something I'd like to hear.

It's the money your father's spending.
They think it's coming from Davis.

- From Phil?
- Yeah.

They say he's in love with you.

You don't believe that, do you, Pete?

I can see how anyone
might get a wrong impression...

about Phil and me, I mean.

But there isn't anything between us, Pete.

I can't explain about the money,
because there isn't any explanation, but...

There's no need for one...

not about Davis, or the money...

or anything.

Then, what is it, Pete?

Why are we sitting here like this,
when all you have to say is...

What's the use, Rosalinda?

All right, suppose I am in love with you.

That's not enough.

$2,000, plus more luck than I dare hope for...

and we might be able
to do something about it.

A marriage license only costs $2.

Yeah, but how could we live?

- We could manage.
- How?

By putting windows in my tuba
and converting it into a Quonset hut?

My mother and father didn't have a penny
when they were married.

And Papa says that
was the happiest time in their whole lives.

Very true.

That's great. But I can't even juggle.

We'll have to take that up
the first thing in the morning.

But why must we have $2,000?

It's an oil deal, and it might come in.

Then again, it might not. But if it did...

What's the use
trying to dream my way out of it?

Pete, maybe Papa
can lend you the money.

- Maybe.
- But $2,000?

- You can ask him.
- I'm sorry, Rosalinda.

I'm superstitious about borrowing money
that comes from heaven.

Oh, Pete.

Mr. Amendola.

I couldn't help overhearing
you and Rosalinda talking out here.

It's not that I was eavesdrooping,
or that I meant to listen.

L just had to get up
and fill the cold water bottle.

You see, my feet get very hot at night.

I hope we didn't disturb you.

What disturbs me is this idea you got
about Rosalinda and this guy Davis.

Believe me, there's nothing to it.

Why, if you'd look with your heart
instead of your eyes...

you could see where her best intentions are.

Look, Mr. Amendola, it isn't Rosalinda.
It's me.

Sure it's you.
I heard what you says about being broke.

And if you ask me, I think
your get-up-and-go has got up and went.

What you need is confidence.

And listen. About that $2,000,
I'd be very glad to...

I couldn't take your money, Mr. Amendola.

Of course, the oil might come in...

but right now,
it's just a hole in the ground in California.

So what? Uncle Sam put money
in a hole in the ground...

and it turned out to be Fort Knox.

And I can take a risk, too.

But let's talk about it in the morning.

- Mama, where's Rosalinda?
- Went for a walk with the boy next door.

You know, Papa,
I think that's getting serious.

Serious? They might get married
and have a couple of kids.

- But that's as far as it would go.
- Oh, Papa.

Mama, remember this?

Vaguely-

Some boy who was courting me
used to sing it to me 22 years ago.

Who was that, now?

Was it the wealthy cattleman from Montana,
or that drummer from Boston?

Mama, that was me.

Of course it was, Papa. And I've been
singing myself to sleep with it ever since.

Sing it, Papa.

I remember.

- Yes, gentlemen?
- We're not together.

I'm Lieutenant Saunders, Police. I'm looking
for a man named Louis Amendola.

That's me.

I'm Inspector Tainey,
Bureau of Internal Revenue.

- May I come in?
- Sure.

- What did you do, Papa?
- I don't know.

Unless I've been
burning the incinerator after-hours.

Gentlemen, this is my wife.

Now all we need is the FBI.

Pardon me.

Callahan, FBI. Are you Mr. Amendola?

- Yes, sir. Won't you come in?
- Thanks.

Me and my big, fat mouth.

Mr. Amendola,
I'd like to ask you a few questions...

Do you mind? I was here first.

Mr. Amendola,
the Department of Internal Revenue...

would like some information
regarding your source of income.

- Income?
- A report...

Please. May I?

We have a report showing you've been
spending large sums of money...

the source of which is not indicated
in your previous income-tax reports.

We're a little curious, Mr. Amendola,
to know where the money is coming from.

We saved a lot
when we were the Human Pyramid.

And I took that money
and I invested it wisely.

I'll have you know that I've majored
in Economics at Cranfus College.

Cranfus? Never heard of that college.

That's like saying
you never heard of Joe Tupis.

- Who's he?
- He's the President of Cranfus!

Mr. Amendola,
we're not interested in your education.

We just want to know
where you're getting the money.

All right, gentlemen. I'll tell you the truth.

I'm the long lost son
of a very wealthy typhoon.

When I was only two days old, a nurse
turned her back while changing me...

and I was stolen from the cradle
by a band of starving gypsies.

A few months ago, the king of the gypsies
came and told me who my father was.

L see you don't believe me.

All right, I'll tell you the truth.

I was down at the beach,
digging with my pail and shovel...

when suddenly my shovel struck
the top of an ironbound chest.

- Pirates' treasure?
- That's right.

That does it. Look here, Amendola,
you've been reported for everything...

from swiping tires off baby carriages
to operating your own mint.

- What's your racket?
- Leave him alone.

Why can't we tell them the truth, darling?
It's so simple.

- All right, lady, what is the truth?
- Where does the money come from?

From heaven.

That explains everything.

But it's the truth.
It comes straight from heaven.

- $1,500 every week.
- On the dot.

I like the one about the pirates' chest better.

Come on, Amendola,
let's go and tell it to the boys at the station.

But I can prove it. I can prove every word...

- Now, how can you prove it?
- It's easy.

I put this old rocking chair
in the middle of the room...

sit down there, and say a little prayer.

And when I say, "Rosalinda needs shoes..."

The money comes down like rain.

- All right, Mrs. Amendola, show us.
- Pull up the chair and say the prayer.

Wait a minute. She can't do it today.

The miracle happens on Thursday
between 3:00 and 3:30.

- We'll be here Thursday at 3:00.
- Thursday at 3:00.

I should doubt my veracity.

Look.

And I hear they're both doing
tremendous business.

They are? All right, come on, let's go.

Look.

How's business, Mr. Molinari?

Couldn't be better.
More orders than we can take care of.

Come on, Katie, let's go.

Clever man, that Amendola.
Soon he'll own the whole town.

You could've done the same, if you'd
invested your money instead of hiding it.

Marx and Amendola Garage.

- Look at that.
- No, I won't look!

And don't stop every second.
I'm getting tired of this.

You know what I'm gonna do?
Lam gonna raise Amendola's rent again.

As of today! Come on.

Due to the increased cost of living,
I must raise the rent of this place.

Again?

This is the eighth time
you've raised the rent since we moved in.

You're forcing me
to join Landlords Anonymous.

You can move out if you want to.

Let's not be too hasty, Mr. Dingle.

You might be right.
Maybe the cost of living has increased.

I wouldn't know,
I haven't done today's shopping yet.

How much more do you want?

- $30.
- $30? $125 a month? Why, it's robbery!

If you think that,
you can start packing right now.

He didn't mean that, Mr. Dingle.
Did you, Papa?

Of course not.

I apologize, Mr. Dingle.

Why, for only $125 a month,
where else could you find a place...

where the sunshine comes
streaming through the keyhole all day?

You're right.
You can't take advantage of me...

- like those bankrupt shop owners.
- Now, look here.

L only helped them out
because no one else would.

And besides, I'm not making money
on all those investments.

For instance, your son's oil venture.

I'll surely lose the $2,000 I invested in that.

You deserve to.
He couldn't take me for a sucker.

- I wouldn't give him a nickel.
- If you did...

you'd probably shortchange him,
you tight old buzzard.

That's done it. Another word out of you,
and I'll punch you in the nose!

- Why, I'll...
- Papa! Mr. Dingle!

Why, you two should be friends,
if only for our children's sake.

They love one another.

Who knows?
They might get married someday.

No son of mine will ever marry
a girl with your daughter's reputation.

Get out!

Papa, the chair.

- It's broken.
- Get me some nails and glue.

I'll fix it. Hurry! It's almost time to pray.

"We are sorry to inform you that..."

Katie!

Yes, Frank?

Our gold mine is exhausted.

There'll be no more checks.

- Let's get going. It's almost 3:30.
- Okay.

All right, Mama.

Say it.

Rosalinda needs shoes.

- Look...
- Gentlemen, a little patience.

$1, 500 is a lot of money.
Sometimes we gotta ask twice.

Try it again, Mama.

Rosalinda needs shoes.

Once again.

Rosalinda needs shoes.

I guess you're right, Mama.

It seems the miracle is over.

I threw away $1,500 a week
when I threw this chair.

It's not the chair.

It's that we have no excuse
to ask for any more.

You're right.
But we're doing all right, now.

There's a lot of poor people praying
in this world.

Now ifs their tum for miracles.

I'm moving out of here
the first thing tomorrow morning.

Now even my cigarettes don't come down.

I'm afraid you won't have to wait till then.

You'll have to move now,
down to the station.

Not so fast, Lieutenant. This is a tax matter.
He goes with me.

Wait a minute, you two.
I don't know what kind of a matter this is...

but he's going with me for questioning.

- Question him at the station.
- I don't want to.

I want to question him at my field office.

I don't care where you question him.
He's going with me now.

Over my broken
and splintered body.

I have no objection to taking him
over your broken and splintered body.

Gentlemen, let's have cooperation.
Let him go with me.

Good night, Pete.

Good night, Rosalinda.

Mama, Papa, what's the matter?

These people don't understand
where we're getting our money from.

So I'm going downtown and explaining it.
You stay here with Mother.

ls there anything I can do?

Pardon us a moment, will you?

Look, I don't know how long
I'm gonna be gone.

Kinda keep an eye on things
till I get back, will you?

Sure. But there's trouble. Ls it serious?

There's nothing to it.

With time off for good behavior,
I may only get life.

- All right, gentlemen, whose car do I go in?
- Mine.

I smell smoke.

So do I.

But, Dad, Mr. Amendola's in serious trouble.
Maybe the $2,000 would help him.

- You've got to give it to him.
- I think you should.

- He helped Pete.
- Helped him how?

To make an idiot out of himself
by giving him $2,000".

For that crook Mulligan. I won't do it!

I won't give Amendola one penny.

Let him fry in his own fat. He belongs in jail.

But, Dad, this is important.

Frank, you're a hard-hearted,
money-hoarding...

I'm going upstairs, where I don't have to
listen to either one of you.

Help! I'm choking!

Don't worry, Dad.

Come on, Dad.

- I gotta get my money!
- Forget your money.

It's in a hole behind the bed.

Mom, I've got him.

The money!
I want to get the money!

Let me go!

The polar bear rug with the
radio! I'll miss The Jimmy Durante Show.

Here it is, Papa!

- Thousands of dollars. It's all gone.
- Heaven knows you deserve it.

Are we insured, Pa?

Heck, no. Those chiselers
don't get any of my money, no sir.

Good heavens, I'm not insured!

You have a very smart father. He trusts
nobody but the hole behind the bed.

Pete, I'm so glad you're all right.

Thousands of dollars burning right now.
Brand-new, crisp $100 bills.

He put them in a hole behind his bed.

Every Thursday, $1,500.
Now it's all gone.

"Rosalinda needs shoes"?

Pull yourself together,
Mr. Dingle.

HI rebuild the house. It'll be better than new.

- You will?
- I don't know what to say.

It's perfectly all right,
Mrs. Dingle.

Why, anything to help a good neighbor.

The way I see it,
now this is very definitely only a tax matter.

- This makes things much simpler.
- What do you mean?

Who owes the tax?
Amendola, or this other guy?

Naturally, the...

I guess Amendola. I don't know.
They both had incomes.

- Maybe they both owe us.
- How? It was this other fellow's income.

Sure. Amendola was only innocently using
the other guy's money.

It was like a gift.

In that case, this man not only owes
income tax, he'll have to pay us gift tax, too.

As far as I'm concerned,
the local law is no longer interested.

Looks like it's out of my jurisdiction, too.

It's too involved for me.
I'm gonna forget all about till March 15.

- What did you find?
- Nothing but a dead squirrel.

He isn't dead. He's just overcome by smoke.
All he needs is a little fresh air.

Wonder what he was doing in the house.

That's the place for a little squirrel to be.

- Thanks for the lift.
- Okay.

Rupert.

Rupert.

My good old Rupert.

You haven't changed a bit.

You smell a little smoky, though.
Now, tell me, how was it?

How did the other squirrels treat you?
Were they good?

I've got good news for you.

I got a job with a circus,
and we start in two weeks in Hoboken.

Me and two seals.

- Greetings, Mr. and Mrs. Dingle.
- Mr. Amendola.

- For your new home, Mrs. Dingle.
- Thank you.

- Go ahead, Papa.
- Make your speech.

Mr. Dingle...

like a caterpillar has its cocoon...

like a bird has its nest...

like the worm has its...

apple, believe me...

it's a pleasure to present you
with the key to your new home.

Mr. Amendola...

you're the finest, the noblest,
the most generous...

I wouldn't say that, Mr. Dingle.

But I'm glad he did.

I'm overwhelmed. I can't find words enough...

Words. What are words?

If it'll make you any happier,
I'll even carry you across the threshold.

Thank you, Mr. Amendola.

Our old home, Frank.

- And it's nicer than before.
- I'm glad you like it.

My little wife crocheted the doilies,
but I'll have to take credit for the curtains.

I would have done a much better job,
only my pinking shears were dull.

- Pete.
- Mulligan.

- Why, you dirty, double-crossing...
- No, wait a minute.

Let me go.

We're rich, Pete!
The oil is coming like a geyser.

What? The well came in?

Rosie, come down here, quick!

Phil.

You don't mean it, Phil?

Hey, look here, Davis!

Pete, listen. It's your music.
Phil just told me.

- What is it?
- Be quiet and listen to the radio.

...The Melody for Two
Orphaned Instruments by Peter Dingle.

You did this, Rosalinda.

You see what! Mean about taking a risk?

Speaking of risks, Pete,
when are you gonna ask me to marry you?

Right now.

They're gonna get married.

Rosalinda.

Pete!

- Amendola, my friend.
- Dingle, old pal.