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In the last episode of Soap,
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Chester found
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00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:07,072
that Jessica's affairwith Detective Donohue
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00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:09,575
was no fly-by-night,frivolous fling,
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and has asked herfor another chance
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to become the fellowshe fell for
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in the first place.
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Corinne found Tim in his cave
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and told him
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that if he wanted to find peacewith himself,
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he'd better come downfrom his mountain
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00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,588
and find a wayto help his possessed son.
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00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,089
Though some of the Campbells
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00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:25,591
find Jodie and Alice'sgay relationship
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00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,092
a little strange,
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00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,595
Alice findsthe Campbells even stranger.
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00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,597
Billy finds that even thoughhis old flame
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00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:34,099
is a followerof a far-out religious group,
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00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,601
he'd follow her anywhere.
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00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:38,103
Burt and Danny went lookingfor Elaine's kidnappers.
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00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:41,607
Danny didn't find them,but Burt found a flying saucer.
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Danny finds Burt's findingscompletely unfounded.
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And Burt is dumbfoundedthat Danny feels that way.
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Confused?
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00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,115
You won't be
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00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,118
after tonight'sepisode of... Soap.
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00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,124
This is the storyof two sisters,
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00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,627
Jessica Tate
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00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,629
and Mary Campbell.
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00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:07,132
These are the Tates,
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00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:11,136
and these are the Campbells.
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And this is Soap.
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I know what I saw.
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Here we are, Burt.
We're home.
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00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:47,673
How did you miss it?
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00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,174
How did you not see it?
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00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:50,175
With the lights?
The noise? Danny...
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00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:51,677
I don't know.
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00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,178
Let's talk about it later, huh?
Come on.
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00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,680
Let's get you
a glass of warm milk
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00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,682
and a hot bath...
you're gonna feel much better.
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00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,686
There, see?
You think I'm crazy.
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00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,187
No, Burt.
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00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,189
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do.
You think I'm nuts.
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00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,191
What, hot milk and a warm bath?
46
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:08,694
Warm milk and a hot bath.
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00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,195
That's for crazy people.
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00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:11,697
You're not crazy, Burt.
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00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:12,698
I don't think you're crazy.
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00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,199
Well, you're driving me crazy.
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00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,201
I've gotta get
some sleep around here.
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00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:17,202
I have an audition tomorrow.
53
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:20,205
I'm gonna have circles
under my eyes.
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00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:23,208
You're home. Thank God.
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00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:24,710
I was so worried.
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00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:26,211
Jodie told me where you went.
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00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,713
What happened?
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00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:30,215
Nothing. It was a false alarm.
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00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:32,218
Danny, I don't
want you to do this...
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00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:36,222
What's the matter?
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00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:40,726
Burt?
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00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:43,729
What?
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00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,731
Is something wrong?
You look strange.
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00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:49,234
Mercy me!
She finally noticed.
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00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:50,235
Tell her.
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00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,237
Just keep quiet, will you?
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00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,239
No, Burt, I think
you should tell her.
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00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,241
What? Tell me what?
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00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:58,744
Nothing.
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00:02:58,745 --> 00:02:59,745
Burt!
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00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,246
Listen, I'm not gonna tell you,
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00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,247
because you won't believe it,
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00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:03,749
and then you're gonna
laugh at me.
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00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,250
I won't laugh at you, Burt.
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You will.
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00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,756
I... I... I won't!
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You promise?
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00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,260
I promise.
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00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:16,261
You?
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00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:17,763
I swear.
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00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,765
You?
82
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:20,766
I'm not gonna laugh.
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00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,769
I might yawn, but
I'm not gonna laugh.
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00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:28,774
Okay. All right,
because this is serious.
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00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,777
A really fantastic thing
happened tonight.
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00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:35,782
I saw a flying saucer.
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00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,289
I knew it. I knew it.
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00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:45,791
I knew I never should have
said it.
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00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:48,294
That's the last time
I tell anybody here anything.
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00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,300
Oh, my sides. I'm dying.
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00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,803
I can't breathe!
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00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:00,306
Chuck...
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00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:02,808
Upstairs, please.
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00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,310
Danny...
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00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:09,815
Oh, that's worth staying up for.
A flying saucer!
96
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,323
You think I'm crazy.
97
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:19,825
You're not crazy.
98
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,326
Then you believe me?
99
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,828
You're not crazy.
100
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,329
You see that?
101
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:25,831
I knew it.
You don't believe me.
102
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:28,834
I'm sure you saw
something, Burt.
103
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,836
Maybe a funny-shaped
cloud
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00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:33,338
or a large bird or...
105
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,339
Mary, no.
There's no bird.
106
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,341
This was not a bird.
107
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,343
I mean I stood there
and I watched it.
108
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,846
I watched it rise up
behind this little hill
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00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,348
and it went up and up
and up and... whoosh!
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00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,850
It was gone.
111
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,853
Well, what did it look like?
112
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,355
Oh, it was shiny
and had a lot of lights
113
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,357
and made a big noise and...
it's no bird.
114
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:53,859
No plane, no dream.
115
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:58,364
This is a flying U.F.O.
from-another-planet saucer.
116
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:02,868
You think I'm crazy. You do.
117
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,369
It's written all over your face.
118
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,371
No, I don't.
I don't think you're crazy.
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00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:07,873
You do. You do.
120
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,875
You're sitting there saying,
"ah, my husband, stable man."
121
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:13,379
Huh? "Last year, invisible.
This year, space cadet."
122
00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:17,382
Burt, you've been
under a strain.
123
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:19,384
No, no, I'm under a strain now.
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00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:22,387
Now is the strain.
Before was a picnic.
125
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,389
Darling, listen, you know, uh...
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00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,391
you haven't taken any time off
127
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:27,893
in a long time.
128
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:28,894
Maybe we could take
a little vacation
129
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:31,897
and go away...
to the beach.
130
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,398
To Nantucket.
131
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,900
Sure, take the nut to Nantucket.
132
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,403
Mary, I don't need
a vacation here.
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00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,405
What I need here
is for you to believe me.
134
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:42,908
That's what I need.
135
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,910
I know that's asking a lot.
Mr. Mental Health here,
136
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,411
asking you to believe
a flying saucer story,
137
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,914
but that's it, that's the truth.
138
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:54,419
Hey, please believe me, honey.
139
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,921
Mare, take it on faith.
140
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:59,424
I'm not lying. I'm not mistaken.
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00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:01,426
The only choices left are
I'm crazy
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00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,928
or I'm telling the truth.
143
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,430
Pick one.
144
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:33,959
Anybody home?
145
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:38,964
Oh, welcome. Welcome, welcome.
146
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:42,467
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
147
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,469
I came here to see...
148
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,972
Although I am white,
and you are black...
149
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:49,474
Please...
150
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:52,978
We are both one in the eyes
of the Reverend Sun-Ray Sung.
151
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:56,481
Too bad he's not
the president of South Africa.
152
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,984
Reverend Sung
is the ruler of the universe.
153
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,485
Big job.
154
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:02,988
Listen, uh...
155
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,991
I came here to see Billy Tate.
156
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,994
I'll look for him.
157
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,495
Crutaya.
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00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:11,497
Mmm.
159
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,000
Very nice.
160
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:20,006
A grown man walking around
with bean dip between his ears.
161
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,008
Benson!
162
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,009
Hi there.
163
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,510
Benson, what are you doing here?
164
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,012
I was about to ask you
the same thing.
165
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,513
Lisa, this is Benson.
166
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:29,514
Benson, Lisa.
167
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,517
Oh... hari bari!
168
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,520
Are you here to shed your fears
169
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:37,522
and rid your body and mind
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00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:38,523
of stress and aggravation?
171
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:42,527
No, in my work, I need
my stress and aggravation.
172
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,029
I came here to see Billy.
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00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,531
Well, perhaps Billy
could show you around.
174
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:47,532
I have to go now
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00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:50,535
to my anti-deprogramming
seminar.
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00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:51,536
Okay. See you later.
177
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:52,538
Crutaya.
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00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:57,542
Isn't she something?
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00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,044
What are you doing here?
180
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,546
What do you mean?
181
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:03,548
I mean, are you going to join
this organization or what?
182
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,550
Oh, no, I'm just here
because of Lisa.
183
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,552
Oh, yeah...
She's the bait they use.
184
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,554
Maybe she likes me.
185
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:12,557
Maybe I finally found someone
who just likes having me around.
186
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:13,558
Look, Billy, I know
187
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,060
that things are rough at home,
188
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,061
but joining up with these people
189
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,062
is not the answer.
190
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,564
She loves me. She told me so.
191
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,066
Sure, she loves you, all right.
192
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,568
She loves you. She loves tulips.
193
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:26,071
She loves cheese danish,
linoleum...
194
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,073
They're trained that way.
195
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,574
But the only one
they really love
196
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:30,575
is their leader.
197
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,577
I don't call that love.
198
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:35,580
Look, I'm crazy about her,
so try to understand, okay?
199
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,082
Okay.
200
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:40,085
If you need me,
you know where to find me.
201
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,587
I guess I better be going.
202
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,089
Hey...
203
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,591
What?
204
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,093
You mad at me?
205
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,596
Oh, hell, no.
206
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,100
Disappointed in me?
207
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,101
No.
208
00:08:56,102 --> 00:09:00,105
Look, I just don't want you
to do nothing dumb.
209
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:01,607
Don't worry.
210
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:05,610
Benson.
211
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:06,612
What?
212
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,616
I love you.
213
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:15,621
Just don't shave your head.
214
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,625
Don't worry.
215
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,128
I worry.
216
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,140
Hi.
217
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,142
Oh... hi.
218
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,144
Thank you.
219
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,151
They walk around
220
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,652
with those trays
in front of them,
221
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,154
they can't see a thing.
222
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,655
Hi, how are you?
223
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,157
Fine.
How are you?
224
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,158
Fine.
225
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,159
Well, a nervous wreck.
226
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,660
How long have you been here?
227
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,162
Oh, since breakfast.
228
00:09:58,604 --> 00:10:00,165
When you called
and told me to meet you,
229
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,168
I knew you were going to end it,
so I thought I'd get here early
230
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,170
and fortify myself
with a few drinks.
231
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,672
Well, I didn't come here
to end it.
232
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:08,673
You didn't?
233
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,175
No, silly.
234
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,677
But I had all those drinks.
235
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,180
I hate to drink.
236
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,181
Are you drunk?
237
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:19,184
No, I threw up
in the men's room.
238
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,186
Are you ready to order?
239
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,688
I think so.
Jessica?
240
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,690
Yes, I think
that I will have the...
241
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:26,691
Sole Veronique, please.
242
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:30,695
Ah, Sole Veronique.
Very nice. Very nice.
243
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:33,198
And I'll have the fresh mussels.
244
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,699
Mussels?
245
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,201
Right.
246
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:38,203
Do you want mussels?
247
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,704
There aren't any mussels?
248
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:43,208
Oh, for the seagulls, maybe.
249
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,710
This is the wrong season
for mussels.
250
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:48,213
Mussels. Did I say
mussels?
251
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,715
How dumb. What
was I thinking?
252
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,717
We're not even close
to the mussel season.
253
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:55,220
I know, mussels now?
What a laugh.
254
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,221
I didn't mean to say mussels.
255
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,723
I meant to say Brussels.
256
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,225
Brussels sprouts.
257
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:02,227
Do you want...
258
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:05,231
You want Brussels sprouts
as a main course?
259
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,735
Of course not.
For the main course,
260
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:12,737
I'd like to have
the Duck L'Orange.
261
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:15,740
And could I please have peaches
instead of oranges?
262
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:17,743
No.
263
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,245
Just testing.
264
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,247
I'll have the oranges,
265
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:25,251
and bring us a bottle
of your '56 Montrechet.
266
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,256
Same as the mussels?
267
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,757
Fifty-six?
268
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,259
No?
269
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,261
Think.
270
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,764
Frost in '56.
271
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,768
The big frost?
272
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,272
Oh, the big frost!
273
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:48,773
I forgot all about it.
274
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,777
The wine was terrible that year.
Fudgsicles were good.
275
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,779
Completely forget
about the wine.
276
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,281
Just bring us a bottle
of your best.
277
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:59,285
Perhaps you'd like that to go.
278
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,789
It's not over between us?
279
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,291
No.
280
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:07,792
I came here, really,
to apologize
281
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,795
for taking so long
to make a decision.
282
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,297
Oh, that's okay. I understand.
283
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,299
I just can't decide.
284
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,300
Well, its not like
285
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,801
you're picking a wallpaper,
you know.
286
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,303
I know.
287
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:21,306
Well, if it were medieval times,
it would be so much easier.
288
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:22,807
I mean, then,
289
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,809
if a lady couldn't decide
between two suitors,
290
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:27,312
she'd give them a kind of a test
like, uh, you know,
291
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,313
who could slay a dragon
292
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,814
and that one
would be the winner.
293
00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:32,817
Gee, if I only knew
where there was a dragon.
294
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:35,320
What if I slay Chester?
295
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:40,325
I promise you
I'll make a decision soon.
296
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,327
It's not easy, you know.
297
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,328
Especially the nights.
298
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,829
Lying alone there,
299
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,831
wondering what you and Chester
are doing in bed.
300
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:47,833
Nothing.
301
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,835
We sleep.
302
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,837
Oh, come on, Jessica.
303
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:56,341
No, I mean, really,
we're not having any sex.
304
00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:58,904
You're not having sex with him?
305
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,347
Great. Want to have sex with me?
306
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,852
I just wanted to ask you,
307
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:10,855
please, to be patient with me
a little while longer.
308
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,857
I'll be patient with you
for the rest of my life.
309
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:15,360
Golly, it would be
so much easier
310
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,362
if you weren't so perfect.
311
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,863
Oh...
312
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:24,369
Your wine, monsieur.
313
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:39,384
Oh, Benson,
314
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,386
Corinne and Tim
will be here soon.
315
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,889
I think you should go upstairs
and make up their room.
316
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,891
You do, do you?
317
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,393
Yes, Benson,
318
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,394
while you're at it,
319
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,895
you can make up our room too,
320
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:52,897
The sheets haven't
been changed in days.
321
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:53,898
That's because
322
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:55,400
I haven't changed them in days.
323
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:57,402
I'm aware of that.
324
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,904
And unless that devil upstairs
makes other living arrangements,
325
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:01,907
I'm never going up there again.
326
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,910
What about our bed?
327
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:07,712
Bring it down here.
I'll be glad to change it.
328
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:12,917
Benson...
there is no devil upstairs.
329
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:13,918
Fine.
330
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,920
You go change the baby.
331
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:18,423
Benson, what are you afraid of?
332
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,925
Death...
pain and death.
333
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:22,927
How about unemployment?
334
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:25,430
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
335
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,432
Oh, Corinne,
336
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,433
how are you, darling?
337
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,435
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.
338
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:34,939
Well, hey... s... son.
339
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,941
So how's the baby?
340
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,943
Fine. Just fine.
341
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:39,944
Corinne and Benson
342
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,946
seem to think we have a problem.
343
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:42,947
Frankly, I haven't noticed
344
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,449
anything out of the ordinary
345
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,950
a little house shaking,
346
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:47,452
a little light blinking
347
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,953
a little furniture flying...
348
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:51,456
a little maniacal laughter.
349
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:54,459
But I'm sure he finds it
all very amusing.
350
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,461
Personally, I don't think
he's possessed.
351
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,464
I think he's a little hyper.
352
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:05,971
Of course, everyone's entitled
to their own opinion.
353
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,983
Don't get me wrong.
354
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:19,984
I enjoy Superman,
355
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,486
but for $42 million dollars,
356
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,127
he should've been
flying around the lobby.
357
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,992
Oh, Jodie!
358
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,494
Hi.
359
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:30,995
Hi.
360
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:33,498
Sorry, I didn't know
you were home.
361
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:34,999
I am.
362
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,001
Maxine, this is Jodie.
363
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,002
Hi.
364
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:40,505
Larry.
365
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:41,506
Hi.
366
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,007
Hi.
367
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,510
That's Alice and Maxine.
368
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,011
Hi.
Hi.
369
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:50,014
Hi.
Hi.
370
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:51,015
We'll go.
371
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,517
You don't have to go.
372
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,018
Don't be silly.
Come on, we'll go.
373
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,520
No, no, no, don't be silly.
374
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:56,521
This is your apartment.
375
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:57,522
Alice, you live in it too.
376
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:58,523
Don't be silly.
377
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,024
Alice, don't tell me,
"Don't be silly."
378
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,026
I can leave if I want to.
I live here.
379
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:04,529
Alice, it's okay.
I better go anyway.
380
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,030
Don't be silly.
381
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:09,534
No, really, I've got to catch
a subway all the way downtown,
382
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,536
and when it gets late,
I get afraid,
383
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:14,038
so I think it's best I go now.
384
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:15,039
Actually, I'm on my way
downtown myself.
385
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,541
I'll go with you.
386
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,042
Oh, terrific.
387
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:21,546
Well, don't do anything
we wouldn't do.
388
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,551
How could we?
389
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,053
Maxine, I'll call you.
390
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:36,060
So was that your type?
391
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,563
What do you mean, "type"?
392
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:41,566
Type. Type...
is that what you like?
393
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:44,569
That happens to be a person,
a very nice person.
394
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,071
Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure.
395
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:50,074
It's just that she looks like
Karl Malden.
396
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:52,076
Please, don't start.
397
00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:55,079
Your friend wears more jewelry
than I do.
398
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,081
What are you talking about?
399
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:59,083
Did you see what he was wearing
around his neck?
400
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:01,586
If he threw it
over the side of a ship,
401
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:02,587
it'd be an anchor.
402
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:05,089
Alice, I wouldn't
talk about taste if I were you.
403
00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:07,592
I mean, that girl...
and I use the term loosely...
404
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:11,095
gives new meaning to the word
"tacky."
405
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,097
Well, at least
I'm with a human being,
406
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:15,600
not with an 8x10 glossy.
407
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:23,608
What, are you jealous?
408
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,611
Are you crazy?
409
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,112
I think you're jealous.
410
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:29,113
How could I be jealous?
411
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:30,615
I'm gay.
412
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,618
Besides which, if anyone
sounds jealous, it's you.
413
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,120
What what makes you think
I'm jealous?
414
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:37,121
Because you're acting jealous.
415
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:39,123
Well, I am not jealous.
I couldn't possibly be.
416
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,625
That's the most stupid thing
in the world.
417
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,126
Well, God knows I'm not jealous.
418
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:44,128
Then what are we talking
about, jealous?
419
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:46,631
Neither one of us are jealous.
420
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,132
How could we possibly
be jealous?
421
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,634
We're gay.
422
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,636
We're not jealous.
We're aggravated.
423
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:53,137
Why are we aggravated?
424
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:56,140
Probably because
we're a little jealous.
425
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,643
You are jealous.
426
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,645
Stop gloating, Alice.
427
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:01,646
So are you.
428
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,648
Well, why are we jealous?
429
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,149
You're asking me?
430
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:06,651
I mean, that's the
most craziest thing
431
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:07,652
in the world.
432
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:08,653
It's completely insane.
433
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:09,654
I mean, you get jealous
434
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:10,655
when you care about someone.
435
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:11,656
I know that.
436
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:12,657
Well, what's gonna happen?
437
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,158
I don't know that.
438
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:15,660
Well, it's probably gonna
make dating very tough.
439
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,161
Not necessarily.
Do you wanna go out?
440
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:18,162
When?
Now.
441
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:19,163
Sure.
Is this a date?
442
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,165
Don't push it.
443
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,679
Tim's been up there for hours.
444
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,681
What's he doing up there?
445
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:39,684
Well, Corinne, you can't
beat the devil in a day.
446
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:41,686
These things take time.
447
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:44,188
It's just not fair, Ma.
448
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,190
He's just a little baby.
449
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,192
He doesn't understand
any of this.
450
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:51,195
There's nothing in his life
that he can remember yet,
451
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,697
much less understand.
452
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:55,700
He's such a tiny little thing.
453
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,702
He doesn't deserve this.
454
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,204
Corinne...
455
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:02,707
Begging the Colonel's pardon.
456
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:06,711
Yes, Major, what is it?
457
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,713
I don't want to upset the women,
458
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:11,716
but we're doomed!
459
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,217
Major.
460
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,719
One more attack
like the last one,
461
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,721
and this old troop ship
462
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:21,225
will come apart
like tissue paper.
463
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:23,728
Major, we're not on a ship.
464
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,231
You mean we've landed?
465
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:33,238
Hit the beach!
466
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,744
Well?
467
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:40,745
He's possessed, all right.
468
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,246
Are you sure?
469
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:44,248
All the signs are there.
He speaks in tongues.
470
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:46,751
Tongues is usually
the dead give-away.
471
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,753
Unless
he's fluent in Latin and Greek,
472
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:51,756
you gotta go with possessed.
473
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,758
That's how
you were able to tell.
474
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,760
That and the fact
that he threw me
475
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,762
across the room several times.
476
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,263
What do we do now?
477
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,766
It's not what we do now.
It's what I'm gonna do now.
478
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:02,767
He's been waiting for me.
479
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,769
He thinks my faith
has been weakened
480
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,270
ever since
I left the priesthood.
481
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,772
It's between me
and the Prince of Darkness.
482
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,273
But I'll need your help.
483
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:11,275
Well, I'm sure we'll all be glad
484
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:12,777
to do anything we can to help,
485
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:15,280
won't we, everybody?
486
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:21,285
Oh, now see here,
487
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:23,287
I've had about enough of that!
488
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:32,296
We are dealing
with a Prince of Darkness.
489
00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:33,798
Prince of Darkness...
490
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:37,301
Prince of Rudeness
is more like it!
491
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:38,803
Don't start with him, dear.
492
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:40,304
I want you to know
493
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,306
I'm holding you
personally responsible
494
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:45,309
for any and all damages
done to these premises,
495
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:46,811
except, of course, for the spoon
496
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,313
that got caught
in the garbage disposal.
497
00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:51,816
I don't think I can blame him
for that.
498
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,823
You have done it now!
499
00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:00,825
This is nothing.
500
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,326
By the time he gets through,
501
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:03,327
this house may not be
standing around.
502
00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:04,829
He'll turn us
against each other,
503
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,831
throw us all over the room,
knock things over,
504
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:07,832
tear fixtures out of the walls...
505
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:08,833
Would you ask the devil
506
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,835
not to fool around
with the phone?
507
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:11,836
I am expecting an important call
508
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,838
from Dutch's lawyer.
509
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,339
Eunice!
510
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:17,341
Well, Corinne, life goes on.
511
00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:19,844
Flotsky, get up here!
512
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,347
Flotsky!
513
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,850
Answer him, for God's sake!
514
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:28,853
Shut up, you whimpering fool!
515
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:32,356
Right. Absolutely right.
516
00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:34,859
Yes, I whimper,
I have a tendency to whimper.
517
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:36,361
Shut up!
518
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:43,868
Corinne, I better go prepare.
519
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:44,869
If anything happens to me,
520
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,370
if the devil wins and I die,
521
00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:47,872
I want you to get in touch
522
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:48,873
with this man.
523
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:50,374
Father Carvellis?
524
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:51,876
Yeah, I'm sure
525
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:52,877
when Father Carvellis hears
how you died,
526
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,380
he'll run right over.
527
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,382
I said a prayer.
528
00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,884
I prayed for guidance
and strength,
529
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,385
and I prayed
that you'd forgive me
530
00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:02,386
for ever having doubted you.
531
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,387
I hope you can.
532
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:04,889
Flotsky!
533
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:07,892
Oh, my God!
534
00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:08,893
I better get up there.
535
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:10,395
But I'll need someone
to help me.
536
00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:15,399
I'll go.
No, Corinne.
537
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,400
Tim, I'm his mother.
538
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:17,401
I should be up there.
539
00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:19,403
It's not your baby up there now,
Corinne.
540
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,405
This is something
totally out of your control.
541
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:22,907
Later, when he needs his mother,
542
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:25,409
I'll let you come up,
but not now.
543
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:26,410
I'll go.
544
00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:28,913
Benson...
545
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,915
My mother always said to me,
she said,
546
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:34,418
"Son, look the devil in the eye
and meet him straight on.
547
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:35,920
"You can't wrestle him
to the ground
548
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:37,923
unless you got ahold of him
first."
549
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:50,434
My mother was a babbling fool,
is what she was.
550
00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:51,435
A major crackpot.
551
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:54,439
Everybody knew it.
She was nuts!
552
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:08,452
Are Alice and Jodiefalling in love?
553
00:23:08,453 --> 00:23:09,954
Is Billy's love for Lisa
554
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:12,957
going to get him in deeperand deeper with the Sunnys?
555
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:14,959
Is Jessica getting closeand closer
556
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,461
to choosing between Chesterand Detective Donohue?
557
00:23:17,462 --> 00:23:19,463
Does Mary think that Burt
558
00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:20,965
is slipping furtherand further from reality?
559
00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:22,466
Will anyone ever believe him?
560
00:23:22,467 --> 00:23:23,968
Do you believe him?
561
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:26,470
Are Tim and the Tates preparedto take on the devil?
562
00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:29,473
Is the devil preparedto take on Tim and the Tates?
563
00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:30,975
These questions,and many others,
564
00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:34,479
will be answered on thenext episode of... Soap.
565
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:41,485
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
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